Chapter 4
The Hokage's funeral was long and depressing. Shinobi of all ranks came to pay their respects to their selfless leader. It was mostly silent after the priest finished his ramblings. It was mostly just people reflecting on the things the Third Hokage had done for them. When Shia made it to the front of the line, she reflected on all the times the Third had been there for her. During her struggle after her parents' deaths. When she'd almost died. He'd been there to help her see differently. If it weren't for him, she probably wouldn't be alive today. She could hear the soft sobbing of Konohamaru accompanied by the comforting of Iruka-sensei behind her. Why did such a good person have to die?
The sky was cloudy and gray as it cried cold tears of rain upon the service. He was a good man. A man who sacrificed everything to protect his village. Shia truly respected anyone to carry the title of Kage. They really put it all on the line in order to protect their beloved villagers. She placed the fresh white flower down on the table, saying a silent prayer for his peaceful rest. A tear ran down her cheek. It was a great loss indeed, but because of him, Konoha would continue on. Because of his sacrifice...they were all safe again. With a final goodbye, she went to bid her family farewell, and begin her Journey back to Suna.
The sky cleared up as the mourning crowd dissipated, leaving Shia to believe that everything was going to be just fine. She watched as Naruto ran to his two teammates, giving a small wave to them as she continued to walk to her house. She would say a quick goodbye to her grandparents, whom she had been living with since she lost her parents. Her mission was not complete in Suna, so she would have to return immediately. A little shiver ran up her spine at the memory of those cold icy eyes. 'I have to be strong. He is my patient, and I must heal him,' she thought.
Sunagakure Hospital
It had been a little over two days since his sister left on her mission. Kankurou came to visit everyday, making sure Gaara took his medication since he knew the doctors and nurses could care less. They talked to each other civilly, and had grown to talk almost freely. Or as freely as Gaara could allow himself to get in his current state of mind. He felt himself growing closer to his older brother, which made him feel good. Perhaps Kankurou really could become that close older brother for him.
"Temari just sent word from Konoha," Kankurou said, walking into the room with two boxed lunches. Gaara eyed it hungrily. This hospital food was disgusting, and he got the worst of the crop; being a monster and all.
"Hn," he answered, still eying the food.
"They should be back very late tonight, or early tomorrow morning," the older boy finished, sliding one of the boxed lunches over to his little brother along with a pair of chopsticks. Gaara opened the lunch and took a piece of beef between the sticks. He savored the flavor, having tasted nothing with flavor for almost a week, as he chewed slowly and contentedly. Kankurou chuckled.
"What's the matter? Food sucks?" he asked, getting an affirming "Hn" from his little brother. He too began to eat the lunch. It made him feel good to be able to hang out with Gaara like a true brother. When they were younger he just wasn't sure how to react to him. Everyone else feared him, so Temari and Kankurou did too. Looking back, he knew it was the wrong decision. Perhaps they could have saved him. 'I'll save him now. Both of us will,' Kankurou thought.
"What are you thinking about?" Gaara asked offhandedly. Kankurou looked up at him in shock. Perhaps they'd made more progress than he first thought. The redhead had never asked him what he was thinking. He'd never cared.
"Um….nothing really important," he said, not sure how to answer. Gaara 'Hn'd' again, and continued eating. His older brother fought his shock, and put another slice of beef into his mouth.
"Uh…you?" he asked, receiving a confused glance from his brother's pale green eyes. Kankurou smiled goofily at him, hoping to encourage an answer.
"A lot of things," he said, looking distant for a moment. Kankurou sighed in defeat. 'Silly me…of course he wasn't going to tell me. We haven't gotten that close yet. But we will,' he thought. After another hesitant glance, Gaara opened his mouth to speak again feeling as if he was setting a new record in the amount of times he actually spoke in one day.
"I'll tell you about it more when we have more privacy," he added, glancing around the hospital setting. Kankurou's dark eyes widened, and a smiled jerked the corners of his lips up in response. 'Maybe we are progressing faster than I thought,' he thought to himself. They continued to eat together.
Gates of Sunagakure 12:00am
"Shia…wake up..we're back," Temari said, shaking the other girl slowly. The other girl jumped up, a wild confused look on her face. The older girl laughed. Shia finally registered where she was and settled down.
"Straight to the hospital," she said, wanting to check on her patient. Temari smiled.
Sunagakure Hosptial
"Kankurou-san?" a cautious female voice queried into the room. Kankurou flinched, knowing he wasn't supposed to be there at this time. Both boys turned around to see a scared looking nurse hiding behind the door. Gaara growled.
"If I wanted to kill you there's nothing that door could do to protect you," he said, staring out of the window into the night. She started shaking and he smirked, receiving a glare from his older brother.
"Gaara…" his brother mumbled in a chastising tone, "what do you want?" She swallowed hard.
"Um…the elders have requested you at the front gates to greet Temari-san and Shia-san," she said in a shaky voice. He nodded, dismissing her. He then turned to his brother.
"You know Gaara, if you want people to stop being afraid of you, maybe you should try not scaring them," Kankurou said, chuckling slightly. Gaara looked up at his older brother, smirking again.
"Those people will always fear me no matter how nice I am to them. They are not important to me, so I have no reason to be 'nice' to them," he said, drawling on the word nice. Kankurou gave him a confused look, but brushed it off and threw a quick goodbye plus a wave behind him as he left to meet his sister at the gates.
Gates of Sunagakure 12:15am
Kankurou stood with the ninja gate guards watching his sister's carriage approach from the distance. He wondered if Shia would decide to continue treating his brother. Then again, would she be coming back if she had decided not to. No, Shia didn't seem like the kind of person who gave up. She reminded him a little of that blond kid who was responsible for Gaara's condition. What was it with Konoha ninja and being so damned determined? It was befuddling(I love that word!)
"Kankurou-san, let's go down to greet Temari-san," one of the guards said, jumping down in front of the carriage. Kankurou followed shortly after. They walked up to the side of the carriage, and knocked on the door.
"Temari-san, please allow us to check the carriage?" the guard asked. The carriage door opened to reveal his sister's pretty face along with Shia's worried one.
"Can we leave the carriage here and go in?" she asked. Temari and Kankurou exchanged glances, the older of the two letting out a small giggle. Kankurou placed a large hand on the young medic's shoulder.
"Don't worry, he took his medicine today, ate a good lunch and dinner, and I think he's said more today than he has in his entire life," he assured her. She stared up at him shocked for a moment before smiling and relaxing a little. The three watched as one of the guards searched the carriage. Of course Kankurou was supposed to be helping, but he figured the guard could handle a little carriage on his own.
Sunagakure Hospital
Gaara stared up at the ceiling. It was pretty late. He knew he'd be alone for the rest of the night. Temari and Kankurou weren't allowed back in, meaning he wouldn't see his sister till tomorrow; and that nurse was probably exhausted, meaning they definitely couldn't come. Wait a second! 'Since when have I cared whether I was alone or not?' he thought, confused. (Since you allowed yourself to care for people other than yourself.) Shukaku remarked snidely in his mind. Gaara felt anger rush through him.
'Be silent! I don't need your input!' he snapped rudely to the demon inside of him.
(Watch yourself boy. No matter how much you ignore me, I will always be here inside of you. I can make you kill everything, and everyone that you've worked so hard to open up to. That pretty little sister of yours will be dead. That brother of yours, dead! ) Shukaku yelled angrily. Gaara felt a sharp pain rip through his head. He clutched his hands in his messy red hair. Shukaku fought for control but Gaara held his defense.
"Gaara?" he heard his sister say. He shot his hand out and waved it furiously.
"Don't come near me! It's not safe," he growled out. He heard some hurried footsteps rush across the room to him.
Temari looked at her brother. She knew that look. Shukaku wanted out. She rushed over to him, unsure of what to do. Looking back at Kankurou she sent him a worried look. He shrugged his shoulders, holding a very confused, worried, and slightly frightened Shia back from running over to her patient. For lack of any ideas Temari threw her arms around her little brother, tears springing from her eyes. She didn't know why she cried. It was actually quite unlike her to do so. She just felt so anxious, and scared…and worried for her little brother. The confusion set off by all of these emotions came out in tears. She squeezed him to her chest, hoping he could control the demon, hoping she could help her brother. 'Gaara…after all these years I'm going to help you. You can stop him, I believe in you,' the blond ninja thought frantically.
Gaara felt himself pulled into something warm and soft. Immediately he reacted, first struggling a little bit, but eventually calming down. He gave in to the warmth and comfort of his sister's embrace. He could feel the concern pulsating off of her. Confusion, concern, and anxiety radiated off of his oldest sibling in waves. She cuddled him to her chest, and he looked up at her tear streaked face. Something hit him straight in the heart. He'd seen her angry. He'd seen her happy, determined, and upset. Never…ever..had he seen his sister cry, and it hurt him to see her doing it now because of him. Silently he cursed himself for being a monster. Shukaku receded into his mind, and he reached up to wipe a trail of tears off her cheek.
"Temari, stop," he said, in a more gentle tone than he'd expected. She looked down at him.
"Oh Gaara, I'm sorry," she said, wiping her tears away roughly, "I didn't realize. I don't know. I was scared. I wanted to help you, they just came out, I was so worried," she said in one breath. They moved away from each other. Staring into the other's eyes. He saw worry, but relief was washing it out of her pretty green eyes.
"You shouldn't worry about me. You should have been more worried for yourself. Don't cry about me," he said, eyes casting down to the ground. He heard her let out a breath.
"Gaara, I'm your sister. I was always told not to worry about you. Whether it was father, or the elders, or even you. I never worried about you. No one did, and maybe that's why you became the way you did. After we came back from Konoha...after I saw that kid, younger than me, fight all fear to protect his friends, I made a decision," she said, scoring a fifty on his one to ten weirdness scale. He stared at her in complete shock.
"Hai! Me too," Kankurou said, still holding a very confused looking, and a very worried looking nurse in his arms who Gaara had just noticed was standing there. She stared between all the siblings, very confused, and feeling very out of place.
"Let go of me please!" she said, having had enough. She ripped herself from Kankuro's grasp and ran out of the door. She closed it behind her leaning against it for support. Putting a hand to her heart she struggled for air. She was completely confused. When they'd walked in she saw her patient grasping his head in pain. Kankurou stopped her from rushing over to assist him which not only confused her but angered her as well. Then she'd witnessed, no intruded upon a very personal family moment. 'Baka!' she thought to herself.
In the room
"I should go out there and see if she's okay," Kankurou said. Temari nodded and turned back to her youngest brother. She saw a look of confusion slash self hatred in his eyes. It was the most emotion she'd ever seen from him.
"Gaara, I'm sure she was overwhelmed. To tell you the truth I kind of forgot she was here. But to finish what I was going to say, Kankurou and I made a decision that day after you apologized to us. We decided that we were going to try and be the siblings we should have been when you were younger. After watching that blond kid fight, we decided it was time for us to put aside our fear, and put this broken family back together," Temari explained.
Gaara stared at her through slightly wide aqua eyes. It was so much to think about in such a short amount of time. His siblings' revelation. Shukaku's attack on his mind and body. His sister's hug. The nurse running from the room almost in tears. It was too much. His brain hurt in its confusion. He didn't know what to think. He was happy his siblings wanted to be there for him. It gave him hope that perhaps they really could be a family. He was at first happy that the nurse had returned, it had given him a chance to redeem himself, and begin his experiment. 'Messed that one up,' he thought bitterly. He hated himself the umpteenth time tonight.
"This is a lot for you to take in Gaara. I understand that, but there's one more thing I need to tell you tonight. Now that I've got your attention, and so much has come out already. It's going to be confusing to you, and probably give you a headache tonight, and for that I'm sorry, but I have to say it…"
"Temari…"
"Um..sorry to bud in but I'm here with Shia, and um…she wants to do a quick checkup on him before she goes to bed tonight. So Temari, I know what you're going to say to him, but can you say it and get out so she can do her job?" Kankurou said poking his head in. Temari nodded.
"Gaara…I..We love you," she said quickly, earning a nod from Kankurou, and a confused stare from the youngest of the three. She smiled, hugged him again, and brushed a timid kiss on his cheek before leaving him to think in silence. He heard the door click closed, and some voices in the hall. He laid back to think on his sister's words. 'Love..' he thought. It was an absurd idea; an alien emotion that never ceased to confuse him. Temari and Kankuro loved him. 'I guess it's a step towards making us a family. I love them too I think,' he thought.
In the hall
Temari found Shia sitting up against the wall, crying into the knees that were drawn up and held to her chest. Kankurou was squatted next to her with a hand on her knee attempting to calm her. There was a very uncomfortable vibe coming off of her.
"It's okay Shia, really," Kankurou said. She looked up at him through thick, wet lashes.
"I'm sorry. It's just, I felt so out of place. I was confused, and my patient was sitting there in pain. You were holding me back from helping him. And then Temari started talking about your past. I just felt like I was intruding on a family moment. It didn't feel right to me. Just give me a second to pull myself together," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. Temari walked over.
"Shia, maybe you should just go to your room. I'm sure that Gaara will understand. You're tired, and this is a lot on your first night back," she said in a serious tone. Shia looked up at her through drying navy eyes.
"No, I'll be fine. I can't ignore him anymore. I'm not afraid anymore. I can't be afraid, because I have to help him. So I'm going to go in there to do my job, and I won't leave till it's done," she said smiling, and walking into the room before they could stop her.
In the room
Gaara was laying in his hospital bed pondering the things that had transpired in the room tonight. So many unsaid things had been brought into the light tonight. He was happy, but confused at the same time. He barely heard the door open and shut across the room. He did, however, feel a timid presence walking up to him. He opened one of his light eyes to look on the dark haired nurse. She was timid, but he was surprised she'd even decided to come in after his little episode. She regarded him cautiously, checking his vitals, and preparing some items on the night table. Her dark eyes fell upon his face as he saw her hand raise timidly.
She watched him closely, gauging his response. When the warm skin of her hand made contact with his forehead he heard her let a breath out. She actually relaxed a little, taking her hand off and scribbling her findings on the clipboard. He felt her fingers connect with the side of his throat, making him jump a little bit, it was so small she didn't even realize. No one ever really got a chance to touch him, and that spot was obviously a sensitive spot. The nurse seemed to be content with his pulse. She looked down at him for a moment. It seemed like she was debating something in her mind. Finally she shook her head and looked at him again. He made sure to stay impassive.
"Please remove your shirt and lay back," she said professionally. She kept her eyes devoid of emotion. It wasn't a cold gaze. It was professional. It was the look of a doctor patiently waiting for the patient to comply. He threw her a dismissive look and discarded his shirt on the floor beside his bed. When he laid back she placed her hands by either side of his chest and put her ear to his chest. When she got up, she wrote her findings on the chart.
"Alright, take this, it'll heal the rest of the inner damage from the poison," she told him, handing him the disgusting medication. He drank it, holding back the look of disgust his face wanted to break out in. Gaara watched his young nurse walk over to the counter where her things were.
"I brought you something," she said, pulling a small box from inside her bag. He eyed it cautiously. She smiled nervously while walking over, and held it towards him
"I know you had dinner, so this is like a little midnight snack. I wanted to make up for angering you the last time I was here," she said, giving him a look that begged him to take it. He did. He opened it to reveal a pair of rice balls. He looked up at her. She just smiled anxiously back at him.
"I can be stubborn sometimes. I should have been more professional. I won't give up on you though. I'm your doctor now, so I'm going to heal you whether you like it or not," she said, giggling nervously. He looked back down at the gift. A few moments passed in silence, and he saw her shift uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, I'm finished here. I'm a really tired, so I'll see you in the morning," she said, turning to leave. She had thought of him while she was away. She wanted to apologize, and make up for something that neither of them had any real control over, and certainly wasn't her fault. This was his chance to redeem his image in her eyes. She was almost to the door.
"Nurse," he said, effectively stopping her at the open door. There was a pause. Neither said anything for a little bit.
"Arigato" he said quietly, he heard her gasp. More silence, and then...
"No problem, and it's Shia," she said, walking out and closing the door behind her. Gaara stared after her for a few moments before returning his attention to the gift.
He took one of the perfect looking treats out of the small container. He sniffed it, and after deciding she probably wouldn't try to kill him after wasting all of her energy healing him, he took a bite of the delicious sweetness. It was like an explosion of flavor in his mouth. Had she really prepared this for him? She had passed the first part of the experiment. She had returned, even after he tried to kill her. Now he'd just have to see, if he could make her think he was something more than just a monster. More than just a demon vessel or a murderer. If he could change just one person's mind, then he might have hope of realizing his dream of having the village accept him one day. Becoming Kazekage was only part of having them finally acknowledge him. That would be a whole lot of work in itself. To have them accept him, he'd have to have friends who weren't family. 'I can do this.' he thought.
