Fading Dream

Chapter 4: Memories

Naruto had never seen a photo of his father or mother before coming to 'uncle' Jiraiyas place.

On the chimney in the living room were at least a dozen of photos of them. He was somehow baffled to see his blonde hair, his blue eyes and his distinctive smile looking back at him, just in an older face. One of the photos showed a little family at an hospital, exhausted parents proud looking at their new born baby and Jiraiya with a broad grin behind them. His parents …  Even then he already had the marks on his cheeks, Naruto noticed.

He stood in front of the photos for more than an hour before the old man tried to start a conversation. They didn't talk much up till then due to Narutos bad mood, though they needed the whole day to arrive here by car. Apparently Naruto looked better now. At least he felt a bit better. His eyes didn't hurt anymore, though his stomach still clamped when he thought about the redhead sitting alone in the greenhouse.

"Do you know where you name comes from?" the white-haired man asked, also looking at the photos. Nevertheless he saw Naruto shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

"My first novel. Your father red it and told me, whenever he would have a child, he wanted it to be like the hero of this story. His name was Naruto." Naruto didn't say anything. All, what happened in the last 30 hours, was too much to take at once. "Want to see your room?" Jiraiya asked him with a hopeful look. "I dare to say it's a masterpiece! It has to be since it took me over twelve years to set it up. You'll like it."

…

Just as Jiraiya said, his room was awesome. Located at the first floor of the small house it was a roof room.

There was a loft bed with a couch beneath, which you could also use as a bed. On the opposite wall stood a huge desk with a small computer on it and a comfy chair right beside. In one corner was a table with four chairs and the last corner was empty. Jiraiya told him he didn't knew what particular hobbies Naruto had, so he left this part of the room empty for his requests. Even though everything had a frog-related pattern on it, the room was still just … awesome.

But the best part was the huge glass wall with a door in its middle, that was there instead of a wall behind the desk. Leaving the room through the glass-door you were on terrace from which a stairway leaded you down into the big garden. Looking behind the few trees in the moonlit garden, Naruto saw a small lake. Just when his eyes hit the dark water he felt a broad grin rise on his face.

Jiraiya leaned to him and whispered, "The garden is directly connected to the lake. Our private beach, if you want to say it this way." Narutos eyes grew wide in excitement and he suddenly jumped at the big man, hugging his belly tight and still grinning like a fool. Jiraiya startled, but then relaxed and patted Narutos head.

In the back of his head he thought about Gaara. Him sitting right now between the cactuses with wet cheeks. It hurt like hell. Kids shouldn't be crying. But he didn't want to let Jiraiya down because of his moods.

…

Getting along in his new school was harder than getting along with the old man.

Yet on his first day they had to call for Jiraiya because Naruto bashed someone. His 'uncle', how he called himself also in front of his new teacher, explained everything and so luckily there weren't any consequences for now.

Naruto didn't understand why everyone was so upset about his little struggles with his classmates. The only subject of his new schedule, that at least somehow satisfied his needs, was 'P.E.'. Though it was a cheap rip-off to what they did back at the green leaf. He thought that the other kids would think the same like him and that some little spar from time to time was what they all needed. He needed it. Sitting all day long in the classroom made him antsy.

After the first week Jiraiya looked more tired and even older than before. Naruto realized, he was the reason.

If it meant to not disappoint the old man anymore, he would play after their rules.

…

One day, when he wasn't able to fell asleep, he sneaked into the living room at night. Jiraiya was still awake, brooding over one of his books in his workroom. His training back at the green leaf came in handy while sneaking past the just half closed sliding door.

He hoped, the old man wouldn't be angry for him being still wide awake. He searched for the photo of his whole family. Pushing it against his chest like a treasure, he hurried to his room. Back in his realm, he sat on the couch and looked at the photo, making a mental note to himself to ask Jiraiya for a copy.

They seemed so … happy. Proud. What went wrong? He didn't dare to ask. Though Jiraiya tried to hide it, he knew it hurt him. Looking at the photos, looking at the boy who looked like a copy of his father. Once Jiraiya told him, he already knew his father, when he was the same age as Naruto was now. He never had children, but Minato, Narutos father, was like a son to him.

When Naruto felt the heaviness of his eyes also fighting down his consciousness, the old man knocked at his door. Naruto jumped and tried to hide the photo as soon as possible under the covers of his bed before mumbling a "come in". Though it was his house, Jiraiya never came into Narutos room uninvited. Something about privacy and being a teenager, he once explained.

Jiraiya neither looked angry nor sad, but worried while he walked to Naruto and dropped himself beside him on the couch. "Can't sleep too, huh?" he asked the boy. Naruto shook his head. No one said a word for minutes.

"Back then your mum was a famous priestess at a shrine in Konoha. That time the three of us lived there." He stopped. Apparently he was fighting his emotions. "There was a man. I don't know why, but he held a grudge against the shrine. Not particular against your mum, but as she was the priestess … He summoned a demon to attack and kill her. He succeeded, but was also killed. With the help of your likewise deadly wounded father, she was able to seal the demon before it destroyed the whole village. You need to know, a demon must be sealed in a living being. When the host dies too soon after the sealing, it's set free again. Your mum and your dad were to die soon. They thought I also was already dead, but I wasn't. Most of the blood on me wasn't my own, the demon just hit me hard on the head. I lay there on the ground, fighting unconsciousness, not able to give any sign of live. I remember their last words too well … I'm sorry. It shouldn't be you." His voice cracked. Jiraiya loosed his voice more and more as he kept on apologizing. Naruto saw that his cheeks were wet. He slipped close to the big man and hugged him caring.

The next day a copy of the photo he had taken last night stood on the chimney.

…

One week after his arrival at his new home, he had tried to contact Gaara. He wanted to compensate for his behavior. It hit him like one of the redheads punches, when he realized he didn't knew much about him. Just his first name and that he was from Suna. Being a vessel for a demon wasn't recorded usually, of course.

In the end was just able to contact Sakura after some months. Jiraiya was able to help him, when he told him her last name, though he kept on telling Naruto he should find friends at his new school too. It didn't make him as happy as it should have. To say, she was his crush! But all he could think about now was the child he left behind all alone, and he couldn't ask Sakura for doing up for his inability to find the right words.

He called her home at a weekend. At first she was yelling at him, calling him a bastard, good-for nothing, traitor and much more. Her yelling turned into crying. After hearing her sobbing curses for about half an hour, he was able to proper talk to her.

"Where the hell are you? No one knows anything! And the teachers won't say a thing, are just talking something about privacy and that they are not allowed to tell us anything."

"Uhm, well, I was kinda … adopted," he answered sheepishly, the last word came only hesitant.

"Adopted? I know, you're an orphan, but don't they take those, who enter the green leaf, out of the register?" she asked with a doubtful tone.

"Hmh. He knew my parents and searched for me all this time," he said happy grinning, "but he was in coma when they took me. He said he always searched for my father's name, since my mum took his name at their marriage. But somehow they made a mistake at writing my birth certificate and wrote down her old name, leaving the spot for my father's name empty. Did you know there are a lot of orphanages in Konoha? … I didn't believe it myself first, but then he showed me at least 20 bundles of registers, files, photos and so on. Plus, he said, most orphanages weren't really cooperative. They wouldn't give out names or birthdates of their fosterlings, just photos and ages, so he had to search for me photo by photo. When he didn't find me in the actual registers, he searched through all years lists until he finally found me. My resemblance to my father came in really handy here."

"How do you know he isn't an imposter?" Sakura said, her voice calm and stern. Since when cared she so much for him? Not that he didn't like it, but it was somewhat suddenly.

"You didn't see the photos. I look like a mini version of my father. And do you remember the marks on my cheeks? The ones that look like whiskers? There's a photo of all four of us here. I didn't recognize myself at first until I saw my whiskers on the mite the woman in the photo hold in her arms." He couldn't fight his voice getting soft at the image in his head.

They continued to talk for hours. Naruto noticed he didn't ever talk to Sakura that long before. Did she miss him already? He didn't mind making himself hopes. One day he would go back to Konoha.

In the end he was even able to wrench a promise from her.

…

"Hey, Sakura-chan …" he said pouting, protracting her name.

"What's up, Naruto? You call me that just when something's up … And this tone don't suit you at all!" They were on really good terms by now, even better than when he still was in Konoha. Maybe not talking with her every day helped their relationship.

Naruto hold up the photo she sent him. It was a nice group photo of his circle of friends. Except for one person. He missed a bright red color in that photo. "The photo …" He didn't knew how to say Sakura. He didn't want to let her down. She didn't like the redhead at all.

"Hm? Was it damaged? I can send you another copy if you want to," she asked in a casual tone.

"No, that's not the point. But, you know …"

"Spit it out."

"What about Gaara?"

Silence.

"You want me dead, right?" she deadpanned.

"No, no, no! It's just … I know he's difficult, but he got his reasons. And I got him to warm up a bit … I just want to see how he looks now, after I'm gone. You sure remember how I turned your invitation for shopping down?" - an affirmative sound came through the phone - "It was just he freaked out every time I wasn't there without telling him. Wait, say nothing! Let me explain! To be honest, I think he somehow … liked me.  And wasn't able to show it in any other way. So please, Sakura-chan … Get me a photo of him. I don't care if it's shot from far away or a window or so. I just want to see he isn't dead."

Sakura took some time to answer. "You owe me one, Naruto."

…

It wasn't even shoot from far away or a window, like he suggested.

Gaara didn't glare, what Naruto utmost surprised, while looking exactly at the camera, his expression somehow sad. Though maybe Naruto was the only person who was able to notice the subtle expression in the child's face.

He just stood there in his usual black clothing, the same messy red spikes as always, in one hand holding a paper-cup and the other in his pocket. He wore a tight t-shirt over a high-collared long-sleeved mesh-shirt and the usual spiked collar. His oversized shorts rested way too far down on his hips for a child. Several loose sitting belts, which were fixed in place by just one belt loop, crossed his lap. Black-red striped over-knee socks and unlaced combat boots completed the outfit. In the background were some mellow trees, which just underlined the contrast of his red hair, pale skin and dark clothing even more. As much as he thought about him looking odd in the beginning, by now it was just 'Gaara' to Naruto and completely normal.

Sakura did a great job with this.

At the same time the photo scared him. Yes, he didn't looked dead yet from his outer appearance, but he was even more skinny, maybe in a critical state by now. 'When he collapses they'll bring him to an hospital and force-feed him,' Naruto calmed himself down. But the thing that set him up most were his eyes. The sparkle was missing. They looked as if some part of him had died.

He was worried sick about the redhead, but he couldn't ask Sakura for more help. Together with the photo came a notice. "You really owe me one! One day he was really peaceful, so I decided to take this rare opportunity. After I took the photo, he grabbed the camera out of my hand, tossed it at the ground and stomped on it till it was just scrap. I'm happy the memory card wasn't broken too."

Shortly after their contact broke off for some time due to Narutos constant need to catch up to the curriculum. He missed his talks with Sakura, but making Jiraiya proud of him was more important to him now.

He wasn't able to bring their conversations down to Gaara ever again.

…

By summer Naruto invited some of his new classmates over to him. He still wasn't on normal terms with most of them and wasn't peeved at them, knowing well his first impression wasn't good at all. But to make Jiraiya happy he would do everything, and for now he wanted Naruto to find friends. At least a few accepted his invitation.

There was a blond guy, Deidara, who was always talking about arts and exploding things. Sometimes he was annoying, but he was able to catch up to Narutos liveliness. Not to mention Naruto loved the struggles they had from time to time, though they weren't really comparable to anything he had back in Konoha. Deidara tugged along his best friend, how he called him, though Sasori apparently didn't share this thought. Somehow the teenager reminded him far of Gaara. Maybe because he also came from Suna and had red hair, though it came not even close to the brightness of Gaara's.

Then there was a boy named Kisame, who invited himself over after hearing Narutos house was connected to a lake. He seemed to like swimming.

The last group consisted of a girl, Konan, with blue hair, which constantly folded paper into awesome little figurines, an orange-haired boy, Yahiko, which was simply spoken kind and apparently her boyfriend, and a shy red-haired boy, which's hair color reminded Naruto somehow at his mother's, who was named Nagato.

…

Soon Naruto was on good terms with those who came over to him in summer. Nagato was shy and calm in the beginning, but Naruto preferred his companionship most. They had the same ideals and hopes for the future, and  by time he was just as lively as Naruto in his presence, though most people wouldn't admit that as a positive turn. He came over on regular terms by now. Nagato tried to hide it, but Naruto was good in reading pained persons by now, and this boy had problems at home.

One day, when he stayed over like so often, Naruto came back to his room and saw Nagato staring at the three photos on his desk.

"Anything wrong?" Naruto asked caring his friend.

"N-no … I was just wondering who those people are. I know you moved here just by the end of last year, but you don't talk at all about what was before. I'm just curious."

Naruto pointed a finger at the photo of his family. "That’s old man Jiraiya, as you may see, just a bit younger, my father, my mother and me. My parents died shortly after I was born."

"… I'm sorry … I didn't want to …"

"You don't have to be sorry. I didn't know them. Sure, it would have been great to know them or even grow up with them, but it is, as it is. At least" - he pointed at the group photo of his fellow green leafs - "I got to know them by this twist. This are Hinata, Kiba, Shino, TenTen, Neji, Lee, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji. All students of Konohas 'Green Leaf'. Sakura and Sasuke were my best friends … And thanks to Sakura I got this photo," he said lovely smiling at the thought of the pink-haired girl.

"And this one?" Nagato nodded at the photo of Gaara, causing Naruto to lose his smile, "he looks like a child, but also as a model for gothic clothing. No one who would spend his time with you," he teased, "or the other way round, I can't imagine you being with him. You're too agile."

Naruto was silent for some moments, tugging his thoughts in the right place. He forced a smile on his lips, but he saw by Nagatos expression it convinced him not at all, so he dropped it again. The boy knew him to well enough by now to tell which of his smiles were forced and which true.

"That's Gaara. He's also one of the leafs. That's how we call ourselves there. To be honest, he's a violent prick. He destroyed Sakuras camera for taking this photo after I begged her to do so. He also send me seeing stars on a regular basis, beat me up for every little thing and when he opened his mouth, which didn't happen as often as he planted his fist in my face, just insults and curses came out. But he got some things in common with me, though it don't seem like it. I don't know why, but despite all of this, around him I was happiest. It was just … being me. The real me. Not trying to impress someone."

Fortunately it was already late and Nagato was sleepy. They went to bed without exchanging much words.

Naruto wasn't able to sleep most time of the night, his thoughts just swirling around the redhead.

…

There he sat now.

Exactly one year after he arrived at Jiraiya's. It was Christmas Eve. He thought about this one year and what happened.

But in the end there was just one thought. A red mop of hair, followed by a scar in the form of 'ai' and black framed, shining green eyes.

He still didn't dare to ask Sakura about the boy.

…

Two years passed since he left Konoha.

One day this year there was a wounded red raccoon baby with black rimmed eyes in their garden. He begged Jiraiya to allow him to nurse it. First he wasn't pleased with the idea. But as soon as Naruto said, it reminded him of a certain person back at Konoha, he grinned knowingly and allowed him to do as he pleased.

Nagato moved in due to nearly been beaten to death by his father. Jiraiya used his contacts, so no one made a ruckus. Apparently Nagatos father was even glad that the boy leaved his house.

Jiraiya turned down all of Narutos begs to visit Konoha during summer vacation. "Your thoughts can't stay at that city forever," he said.

…

Year three.

Back then Naruto didn't understand Jiraiyas look, but recently he asked him, how the girl with the short red hair on the photo in his room was like. Naruto blushed. The old man thought Gaara was a girl and that he had a crush on 'her'! But he didn't say anything. Let him believe it, he didn't want to let go of Aka, how he named his little sweetheart.

Maybe Jiraiya was just worrying because the 16-year old teenager had no girlfriend. Luckily the perverted old man didn't know about his crush on Sakura. He still talked from time to time with her on the phone. She sounded more mature by now, but he didn't ask for a new photo. He wanted to surprise himself when he came back to Konoha.

…

Year four.

Yahiko died in a car crash. That day Jiraiya allowed Naruto and Nagato to drink sake for the first time. He drunk until he didn't remember anything anymore.

Nagato tried his best to back Konan up. She had a mental breakdown. Nagato nearly killed himself as he wasn't able to help Konan. He loved her since he first met her, he told Naruto when he found him one night with gashed wrists on the bench at the lake. The boy changed, was most times moody and locked himself up in his room.

…

Year five.

If there was something to know about Gaara, Sakura didn't want to talk about it. The incident with the camera wasn't an issue anymore, but it would feel awkward to ask about him now.

One day Sakura called him and explained under sobs and cries of pain, Sasuke ran away a week after his 18th birthday. Likewise Konan she also had a mental breakdown. He called her every day for about a month before she was able to go to school again.

What happened to all those who were dear to him?

…

Year six.

Konan was back in life. She and Nagato made a nice couple but he still hesitated to touch and kiss her.

He graduated from high school together with them.

Though he would miss his friends, Naruto was finally able to go back to Konoha.