Inbred

Oops. REALLY short chapter sorry but I couldn’t find anyway to stretch this out without bogging it down with unnecessary things that would distract from the main subject of this chapter. Also not proof read because I’m kinda at work right now.

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Chapter 52

“Sasuke?”

“Hmm?” the Uchiha hummed sleepily, his soft breath disturbing a few strands of Neji’s thick, black hair.

“Are you asleep?”

“Mmm mmn,” he murmured and shook his head, nuzzling his face against Neji’s shoulder and instinctively snuggling his body closer against his warmth.

“I’m sorry…did I wake you?”

He hadn’t really, Sasuke had been trapped between a state of blissful lethargy and peaceful consciousness the second he’d laid his head against his pillow and cuddled up to Neji spoon fashion. His love was the one with the insomnia and he noticed how he would shift restlessly against him, one minute pressing his back flush against his stomach then easing away slowly as if not to disturb him but Sasuke would only inch closer or drag him back again.

“Mmmph!” he grunted in response, still too drowsy to form coherent words yet.

It wasn’t a ‘yes’ but it sounded like one to Neji and he apologized before falling quiet again, however, he didn’t stay still for very long and again played with Sasuke’s large fingers that he’d threaded within his own. The darker man shivered slightly at the feel of those delicate hands upon his skin and he sighed contentedly and gave the hand in his a gentle squeeze.

“Umm…Sasuke,” Neji whispered almost inaudibly.

“Hmm?”

He fell quiet again and if it wasn’t for the fact that he wasn’t asleep yet then he’d have assumed that he’d just dreamt Neji calling out to him but he was awake, although not fully, and he knew he heard his lover’s needy voice.

“What is it, koi?” Sasuke rasped after Neji didn’t answer, his voice gravelly and his eyelids still too heavy to lift.

“Umm…I…it’s nothing.”

The Uchiha sighed. He was starting to get annoyed with their lack of communication as of late but he still did not pressure Neji to just spit out whatever it was he wanted to say so he gave his fingers another light squeeze as if to encourage him.

“Sasuke, do you…do you think I’d make a good mother?”

Whatever semblances of sleep he had vanished in that instant and Sasuke chuckled before pulling Neji closer against him. “No, not just a good mother; a great mother.”

“How can you boast about that so callously?” he asked with a sad shake of his head. “I’m a terrible person. I’m not fit to take care of anyone’s children, even less my own.”

“And how can you say something so stupid when you’re supposed to have an I.Q. over one hundred and thirty?” he retorted with a low, angry growl. “You’re a very compassionate person, Neji. Your relationship with your cousin proves that and if you can love her so unconditionally then you’ll have no problem raising our children.”

Neji made a soft, amused sound and it was only then that Sasuke realized that he’d said ‘our’ instead of ‘your’.

“How many children do you want to have Sasuke?” the older man asked and rubbed his flat stomach with their hands.

Sasuke smiled and his head felt a little light as he thought about Neji, pregnant with his children and he tried to imagine what he would look like with his stomach swollen and his child growing inside. “I’d like to have ten or eleven,” he said rather dreamily.

Neji had heard him mention many times that his greatest objective in life was to rebuild the Uchiha dynasty so raising so many children would be comprehensible but Neji would never have imagined that he’d want that much.

Sasuke didn’t appear the type that liked children, he got annoyed easily whenever Naruto was in one of his hyperactive moods and even when Neji was having PMS and bitching over every little thing sometimes Sasuke would lose his temper rather quickly. He wasn’t an entirely ‘good’ person either and it was hard to see him as a doting parent but, somehow, Neji knew that when the time came he’d make a great father as well.

“Hmm, I never thought about having so many. I’ve always wanted three: a boy, and twin girls.”

“If you only want three then we’ll only have three.”

Neji shook his head and his hair tickled Sasuke’s nose. “No, it’s okay. If we have that many then I’m bound to wind up with a twin eventually,” and he tried to laugh but his lips couldn’t even form the familiar smile. He knew he was purposely delaying the real conversation he wanted to have but he didn’t know how to breach it, he didn’t know how to tell Sasuke that…he…

“You’re going to hate me for saying this Sasuke but as much as I’m upset that we lost our baby I…I’m glad it’s gone.”

Sasuke’s eyes snapped open at the confession he blurted out so suddenly and Neji was right, he did hate him, but only for a moment because he knew the other man could never be so heartless unless he had a valid reason.

“Why would you say something like that?” the Uchiha frowned and Neji shifted in his arms, releasing his hand so he could lay on his back while propping himself up on his arms.

“Think about it Sasuke. It would have been impossible for me to have had that baby. If my uncle found out he’d kill me and the child, especially if he knew you were the father.”

His voice was strained and Sasuke could see the desperation in his face that begged him to understand his plight but what Neji didn’t know was that his uncle already had a contract out on his life and if he knew that then maybe he’d want to risk having their family before he died as a last wish but Sasuke couldn’t tell him that…not now and maybe not ever. He’d already lost his mother and father and Hiashi was the only ‘parent’ he had left and although he really didn’t think of him as a ‘parent’ he was still the guardian that dictated every little facet of his life.

Neji could neither come nor go without Hiashi’s knowledge or permission and Sasuke was the one responsible for making the Hyuuga boy disregard his uncle’s orders and become involved with him in the first place. If he’d never provoked him, if he’d never seduced him, if he’d left him alone like everyone else did then none of this would have ever happened to him.

He never would have shared his first kiss, he never would have fallen in love, would never have given up his virginity, would never become pregnant or lost his baby and Neji never would have felt the desire to have a family of his own.

Sasuke said nothing even though he wanted to tell him that his uncle would never find out and that it was okay for them to have as many children as they wanted. He wanted to tell him he could stay here with him forever and turn this dreary, old house in to their home but they both knew that that was only wishful thinking and a dream that would remain unfulfilled.

The room was quiet save for Neji’s heavy breathing and he inhaled on a ragged breath as he looked into the silent regret of Sasuke’s black eyes as he stared up into pale dismal eyes that reflected the near expressionless look on his face.

“Sasuke,” he started on a soft raspy voice and the Uchiha knew, without even hearing the rest of the sentence what the other man was going to say but he didn’t want to hear it and Neji didn’t want to say it but he had to, he had to get this out of the way now. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I think I want- I…I want to break up with you.”

The silence that stretched between them this time was louder than the last and Sasuke’s heart beat was suddenly the only thing he could hear, which was odd because he was sure that his heart had stopped.

“Neji…I-“

“No, Sasuke, I won’t listen to you anymore,” he yelled before getting up to sit on his knees. “I don’t want this anymore than you do but I have to do this Sasuke, please try to understand what I’m going through. After I graduate from college I have to move straight back home and we’ll never see each other again. I never wanted….never expected that I would have to end it so soon, I wanted to break up after the final semester but Sasuke-“ his eyes became misty and his voice hitched on a choked sob. “We only have two semesters left. By the end of the year…I have to…I have to go back and I’ll never…”

Neji shuddered and a loud hiccup escaped his lips and Sauske reached out to comfort him but he misinterpreted his intentions and Neji pulled away from him. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” he screamed and scooted away from him just a few inches. “Didn’t you hear me? It’s over between us, you have no right to touch me anymore.”

Sasuke sat up slowly but it was more of an automatic movement and he hadn’t realized that he had even moved until their heads were now about the same height and he was face-to-face with the Hyuuga’s anguished face.

“Hate me, Sasuke!” he whimpered that demand even as he furiously blinked back the torrent of tears.

He wasn’t sure what Neji meant by that but it was one request he could never grant him.

“Don’t be stubborn, Uchiha,” the other boy raged. “I know you…I know you won’t let any one else raise your children if you still love me, how can you expect to restore your family name if you won’t let another woman bear your child?”

Sasuke drew his eyes into thin slits before saying coldly, “Then my heritage will die with me.”

He could have avoided what happened next, he knew he could have easily blocked it but he allowed Neji to slap him as hard as he could and his cheek stung painfully and his neck craned at an uncomfortable angle against the force.

Yes! He allowed Neji to hit him with all his anger because he knew he deserved it.

He’d brought the love of his life so much unintentional suffering that the deep ache in his heart didn’t seem like enough retribution.

“You idiot,” the other brunette spat. “Don’t say things you can’t possibly mean. You’re only fooling yourself if you think we can live happily ever after. I always thought that what we had would be enough, I always told myself that as long as we loved each other that it would be enough, but it’s not enough, Sasuke, not for me. I want more! I want to be with you until I die but I can’t lie to myself anymore, Sasuke and neither should you. We can’t be together, why can’t you understand that?”

He did understand. Sasuke understood every word but Neji was right, he was only being stubborn and he didn’t want to accept that it had to end even though, he knew all along, that it would.

Just like Neji, he remained in denial, even though he knew that, one day, they would have to part ways. He knew the Hyuuga would have to return to his family once his studies were concluded but he thought that he’d be able to figure out someway to keep him within that time but even though he’d failed, even though their time was now up, even though he knew this day would eventually come he still didn’t want to let him go.

Not yet.

Sasuke reached out to him and Neji pulled away but he didn’t retreat far enough and the Uchiha managed to capture him by the wrist and roughly yanked him into an unbreakable embrace. Neji screamed at him and ordered the Uchiha to release him as he struggled against his chest but Sasuke would not let go and he cupped the back of Neji’s head and brought it to the crook of his shoulder and the smaller man shuddered pitifully and his tears burned a wet path along his arm.

“I’m sorry, Neji,” he said quietly after Neji’s wails subsided and he cried helplessly against him. “I can’t hate you. I can’t even remember how I used to feel about you when I first knew you but I understand what you’re going through and as much as I don’t want to let you go, this is what you want, so I will let you break up with me …but not yet.”

“Sasuke,” he whimpered in protest but the younger man silenced him with a firm ‘Shh’.

“I can’t let you go right now,” he confessed on a depressed sigh and nuzzled his cheek against the side of his head. “But I promise I will end it with you and I promise I will try to be your enemy again if you promise me one thing…promise that you won’t break up with me until we go back to campus.”

Neji shook his head in disagreement and opened his mouth to protest to the terms but was admonished with another ‘Shh’.

“This is all I ask Neji, just be with me until then,” and he cupped that round chin between a thumb and forefinger and lifted his face up to his. “Promise me!”

Neji searched his face and his lower lip quivered on his denial but he could not mouth those words. He knew Sasuke would have found some way to talk him out of it or postpone it until he’d figured out a permanent solution and he’d meant to be adamant about his decision but looking up into that determined face only reinforced the fact that this was the last thing he wanted too and Neji couldn’t help but smile up at him.

He knew that the longer this went on the harder it was going to be to leave him but he didn’t care at this point because he could still have this, if even just for a little while longer.

“I promise, Sasuke!” and Neji slipped his arms around his neck and rested his head against his chest again.

He knew that this could never be enough but they both needed this and even though he desperately wanted more he would have to make these last few moments last as long as he possibly could.

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Nother chappie done. This is one of those things that I changed. In my first draft, Neji and Sasuke never break up but after thinking about it I wondered just how on earth they expected to stay together with Hiashi still around so they had to end it, sorry. 

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But…but…they’re not breaking up yet so please stop throwing things at meeee!

The next few chapters won’t be too angsty, lots of fun will be had by everyone since y’know…they gotta make the most of this. By the way, Naruto only has one and a bit semesters left and he’s gonna have to go back home soon (which you probably knew already).

Just a shout out to Kit who had her hand raised since two chapters ago. Sorry for keeping you waiting and sorry for seemingly abandoning everyone with this fic. Glad to see Yersi, Angst and Tyra are still around. How you guys doing?