Why Orange?

(bounces around like a bunny on speed) Yayyyy! Oh happy happy day!

Itachi: What the hell is your dysfunction today?

T.W.: I'm not dysfunctional, I'm one year older today.

Itachi: Oh gods help us.

T.W.: (razzes Itachi) Don't be a killjoy.

Itachi: Killing joy is in my genetic structure.

T.W.: A better argument for gene therapy I've never heard.

Itachi: I could think of a couple regarding your own deficits.

T.W.: Hey watch it or I'll get your seme.

Itachi: I don't have a seme, I am the ultimate seme.

T.W.: Oh really? I used to think so but no longer.

Itachi: And just who the hell do you think could possibly top me successfully?

T.W.: Madara.

Itachi: ...

T.W.: What no snappy comeback?

Itachi: ...shut up.

T.W.: (snickers) Aww don't pout Ita-chan.

Itachi: Do you want to see your next birthday?

T.W.: Yesh take it easy moody. Maybe I should have Sai kiss you senseless. Where is Sai anyway?

Itachi: Your muse took him shopping.

T.W.: 0.o And you're not foaming at the mouth from sexual frustration?

Itachi: They went to the adult store.

T.W.: Well that explains why you're not being pissy yet. You're imagining what he'll bring back.

Itachi: Hn. Since I prefer silence for my mental theater get on with this chapter.

T.W.: On it. The kids are all 1 year old through out this chapter. Okay now for those of you who might get confused, children at very young ages tend to have difficulty with certain sounds sooo a little key for ya'll is: Ls and Rs are usually pronounced as Ws, sleepy becomes sweepy Ero becomes Ewo, and Ss usually turn into Fs and Ts, listen becomes wifen, sorry becomes towwy.

Also if anyone has problems with how well the kids speak and understand what they're told at age 1, keep in mind that Mikomi is Itachi's daughter and her cousins get the genius genes from Sasuke and follow Mikomi's lead.

I'm rather certain I got a ton of stuff wrong with the potty training but being as I've never potty trained a child before all I had to go on were the memories of my female relatives and a few very limited web sites.

Oh and just as a completely unrelated side note for those of you who've read chapter 409, am I the only one who had a creepy flashback to when Sasuke left with the Sound Four? You know when the toad told Naruto how he could become one with nature?
And who else thinks that Hachibi's jinchuurikii is pretty cool so far?

Now finally on to the chapter

'thoughts'
emphasis

Chapter 53 One-year Olds

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Naruto jolted up out of Sasuke's arms as their locked bedroom door was pounded on and Iruka's frantic voice shouting for them. The blond rushed to the door, followed closely by Sasuke, and threw it open to reveal a frazzled Iruka holding Mikomi.

"Iruka-tou-san what's wrong with Mikomi?"

"She's got a fever."

Naruto reached out and took the girl from Iruka, gasping at the heat her tiny body was throwing off, "How high is it?"

"101.4 Fahrenheit."

Sasuke paled and rushed past Iruka and Naruto, "Wait here."

Iruka looked at Naruto, "Where is he going?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know but right now we need to concentrate on Mikomi. He'll be back soon."

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Sasuke pounded loudly on the door in front of him until he heard a grumble coming from behind it. The door opened and the tired face of Sakura glared out at him, "Sasuke you had better have a damn good reason for doing this so late."

The Uchiha met her eyes, "Mikomi's running a high fever."

Sakura cursed, grabbed her medic-bag, and shouted the situation to Choji before running alongside Sasuke to the Uchiha mansion.

They arrived to see Naruto rocking Mikomi in a chair and Iruka preparing a dose of baby aspirin. Naruto looked up when he felt Sasuke's chakra, his worried expression shifting to relief when he saw Sakura.

The pinkette smiled reassuringly and came forward to take Mikomi from Naruto as the blond stood to hover next to Sasuke. She took the baby's temperature, frowning when she read the display of 102.7 Fahrenheit. Sakura held Mikomi carefully in one arm while running a hand covered in healing green chakra over the toddler. She frowned slightly when her hand reached the girl's ear then her expression cleared, "She's got an ear infection. Pretty much par for the course when it comes to toddlers. I'm going to lower her fever and clean out the infection then I'll leave some ear drops for you guys to use for a while. She'll be fine in a few days."

Naruto slumped against Sasuke in relief as Sakura concentrated her chakra on the infection. After a few minutes she handed a now comfortably sleeping Mikomi to Naruto and dug into her medi-bag for the ear drops. She gave them to Sasuke along with the instructions for use. He gave the pinkette a quick hug, "Thank you Sakura."

The medic blinked in surprise at his uncharacteristic actions, smiled, and patted him on the arm, "You don't have to thank me Sasuke-kun. It's what I do and you're my friend."

Naruto looked at her, "Regardless Sakura-chan, we appreciate it so accept the thank you since it's such a rare thing to hear from an Uchiha's lips."

Her eyes took on a humored gleam, "Well when you put it that way, you're welcome."

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes as Sakura waved goodbye and left. Naruto was still leaning against Sasuke slightly and looking down at Mikomi's sleeping face with a slight frown. Iruka noticed and patted Naruto's shoulder, "Don't worry Naruto. Ear infections are very common for babies and children."

The blond looked at the teacher, "I know. When I had to help out at the academy nursery the kids were forever getting ear infections. I'm just a little ticked at myself for not realizing that's what was wrong."

Iruka chuckled, ruffled Naruto's hair, and went upstairs to go back to bed now that everything was under control. Sasuke watched Naruto from the corner of his eye then once Iruka was out of earshot he moved so that he could wrap his arms around Naruto and Mikomi, "What's really wrong Naruto?"

"I know babies get ear infections a lot and Mikomi has had a couple of very mild ones before, remember?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yes, not enough to spike a fever but enough to make her miserable. Why?"

"She's had ear infections but none of the triplets ever have. I never got sick either when I was a kid."

Sasuke rubbed his chin on Naruto's shoulder, "I think I see. You're worried about the triplets having the benefit of Kyuubi's immunity while Mikomi doesn't right?"

"Yeah. I mean I don't have to worry about Arashi, Hikari, or Kaji coming in contact with germs but Mikomi's another story. I don't want to end up treating her differently than the others because I'm worried she'll get sick."

Sasuke chuckled and bit the shoulder under his chin lightly, "Usuratonkachi. Then don't."

"What?"

"Don't treat them differently then. When you want to keep Mikomi from getting into germs keep the triplets from doing the same. It's simple enough you beautiful twit."

Silence met Sasuke's statement for a few moments then Naruto shifted so that his heel came down on Sasuke's instep making the Uchiha grimace, "Sasuke do you know what the dictionary definition of twit is?"

Sasuke managed to ease his foot out from under Naruto's, "No?"

"Pregnant goldfish."

The corner of Sasuke's lips twitched, a bubble rose in his throat, a snort was heard, then he began laughing. Naruto turned in the pale man's arms to gawk at him incredulously, "What the heck Sasuke?"

"P-pregnant goldfish?"

"Uh-huh."

The Uchiha had to release Naruto to double over from laughter. Naruto cuddled Mikomi closely and eyed his husband with a great deal of concern. After a few moments Sasuke got a handle on his laughter and met Naruto's confused eyes with a smirk, "Does it occur to you Naruto, that your name is one 'maki' away from a fishcake?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes on Sasuke, "Don't. You. Dare make that comparison teme."

"I'm just saying that with your name and your hair you pretty much fit that definition 14 months ago."

Naruto huffed, stomped upstairs, and threw a, "You'll be sleeping in the nursery for the rest of the night teme," over his shoulder. Sasuke sobered and rushed after Naruto, "Hey wait I didn't mean it Naruto."

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Naruto hummed as he opened the front door. The mission he'd been sent on had ended within a day, been easier than most D-ranks, and he'd gotten paid for an S-rank. So far it was a damn good day. He was thrilled to be home so early and was looking forward to relieving Kakashi of baby duty and spending time with his children. He passed the kitchen and spotted the copy ninja reading the book. He narrowed his eyes and stalked towards the gray haired idiot, "Kakashi is there a reason you're in here, reading porn, when you should be upstairs watching the children?"

The idiot didn't so much as look up from his book, "They just went down for a nap."

Naruto's eyes widened and he cursed under his breath as he rushed upstairs, hoping to avert disaster. That hope was revealed to be in vain when he opened the door and saw four toddlers with crayons, markers, and play-doh scribbling and smearing things all over the walls. Hikari spotted him first and sent him a bright angelic smile, "Kaa! Wook, pwetty."

The rest of the little imps swung their heads around and grinned delightedly when they saw their 'mommy'. The mini barbarian horde rushed over to the blond man and dived at his legs. Naruto sighed and crouched to get on level with the children. Mikomi immediately jumped into his arms and snuggled against his chest, followed swiftly by a jealous Kaji. Hikari pouted and pointed at the walls, "Kaa, pwetty?"

Naruto smiled ruefully, "Yes Hikari-chan it's very pretty."

The little blond girl squealed in joy and Naruto cleared his throat getting the attention of all the imps, "It's too bad that we have to scrub it off and paint over it."

Hikari's eyes widened, "Why?"

"Because walls are not for drawing on. That's what paper is for."

Arashi spoke up, "But papew up," he pointed to a high shelf that even the fearsome foursome couldn't manage to raid. Naruto looked down at his little tempest, "Well why didn't Kaka-jiji get it down for you?"

Arashi looked down and mumbled, "Ewo-ji tink we nap."

"Oh so you were supposed to be napping and not drawing?"

Hikari, Arashi, and Kaji all shrunk into themselves a bit but Mikomi tugged at Naruto's shirt, "Not sweepy. Ewo-ji not wifen."

Naruto smiled down at her, unable to remain stern with her looking at him so sweetly, "But you know that you have to listen to Kaka-jiji."

The little girl pouted, "We towwy."

"Well from now on don't draw on the walls kay?"

"Otay."

Naruto chuckled as the triplets echoed Mikomi's agreement. He made a clone and sent it downstairs to get Kakashi. When the copy ninja entered the room, his eyes widened at the 'art' on the walls and then he swallowed hard when he met the irritated blue eyes of his former student. Naruto set Mikomi and Kaji down and stood to cross his arms, hiding his amusement when Kaji and Arashi mimicked the movement. Mikomi immediately clung to one of his legs and Hikari hid behind the brunette girl. Naruto cleared his throat and leveled a look on Kakashi, "So Kakashi-taichou, I seem to remember Sasuke, Iruka, and myself warning you to keep an eagle eye on the kids since they've somehow figured out how to get out of their cribs."

Kakashi remained silent, knowing that if he tried to excuse himself Naruto would tell Iruka what he'd been doing instead of keeping an eye on the children. Naruto quirked a brow and smiled, "Since you shirked your duties I think a proper consequence is to clean up the mess," the blond gestured at the walls, "and paint them don't you?"

The copy ninja narrowed his eyes at Naruto, "What about the kids?"

"What about them? I've already told them that the walls are not for drawing on and to listen to you from now on."

Before Kakashi could say anything else, Naruto walked out of the room with Mikomi still latched onto his leg and the triplets trailing after him. Kakashi cursed quietly then got to work on the walls.

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Sasuke walked out of the bathroom to see Naruto waiting for him. He slid into bed beside the blond and smiled as Naruto snuggled into his arms. He threaded his fingers through the golden hair of his husband, "Will you tell me exactly why Kakashi was paint splattered today?"

Naruto chuckled and ran through the scene he'd come home to and how he'd dealt with it. Sasuke shook his head, "You realize that at least one of the children will draw or do something to the walls again don't you?"

"Yeah but we'll deal with that when it happens."

"Hn."

Naruto smiled and listened to Sasuke's heartbeat for a few moments. He savored the peaceful feeling of being alone with his husband. As much as he loved the kids having alone time with his teme was as necessary as breathing. Naruto breathed in Sasuke's scent, "Teme?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever feel like we're in a dream?"

Sasuke looked down into Naruto's eyes, "What are you talking about?"

"Everything. Sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream and I'll wake up to find that I'm still trying to chase you down and Akatsuki's still after me."

Sasuke's arms tightened around Naruto, "No."

"Teme?"

"We're not dreaming usuratonkachi, dreams don't feel this good."

Naruto smiled and Sasuke brought his head down to kiss Naruto lightly, sliding his lips against his husband's slowly, lapping at the bottom lip, and slipping into the blond's mouth to trace the surfaces. Naruto moaned softly and arched closer to Sasuke.

Suddenly they heard Kakashi yell, "What the bloody hell!"

The parents broke apart and dashed to the nursery to gape in astonishment when they saw Arashi smearing his diaper down the freshly painted wall, while smirking at Kakashi. The boy had brown streaks on his arms, his pajamas, there was a brown trail leading from where the boy stood to his crib, which had a great deal of brown smeared over the railing and bed. Sasuke sent Naruto a look, "Dreams also don't get this messy."

Naruto winced, walked over to Arashi, picked the boy up under the arms, and carried him to the bathroom, "Arashi, you are in big trouble young man."

The little boy eeped as his 'mommy's' blue eyes narrowed at him. Sasuke sighed and looked at Kakashi, "Could you bring me the cleaning supplies please Kakashi?"

The copy ninja growled and nodded. Sasuke then looked to the other cribs, where his other son and the two girls were staring after Naruto and Arashi having heard a shriek from the bathroom. The raven cleared his throat, bringing the little eyes to him, "Now we know not to mess up the walls don't we?"

Three little heads bobbed up and down furiously and Sasuke smiled, "Good," he went over to put Kaji on his shoulders, picked up Mikomi and Hikari and strode to Iruka and Kakashi's room to ask the academy instructor to watch over them while he cleaned up the nursery.

Naruto meanwhile, finished hosing Arashi down with the detachable shower head and began to fill the tub with water so he could scrub the boy down. He almost smiled at the pout-frown on Arashi's face but contained it as he looked the boy square in the eye. Arashi looked away huffily and brought his shoulders up as Naruto began to wash his hair.

By the time the nursery and Arashi were clean, the little boy was yawning widely. Naruto put him down in the crib and left him to Sasuke while he went to fetch the other toddlers. He smiled when he saw them in a puppy pile with a sleeping Iruka and Kakashi on either side of the pile. He closed the door softly and went back to see Sasuke shaking his head at a snoozing Arashi. The Uchiha met Naruto's eyes, "He dropped off like a rock."

Naruto nodded, glanced at the clock, noticed that it was early enough that Jiraiya and Tsunade would still be awake. He went downstairs, followed by a curious Sasuke, and picked up the phone, dialing Tsunade's number, "Hey Baa-chan, I wanted to let you know that Arashi won't be coming with the others tomorrow. Hmm? No, he's being punished for misbehaving. Yeah and I always paid the consequences too. Night Baa-chan."

He set the phone in the cradle and met Sasuke's eyes, "I'll be keeping Arashi here tomorrow teme and I'd like you and everyone else to find somewhere else to be."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "He adores visiting Tsunade and Jiraiya."

"Exactly and he won't be going anywhere or getting any extra attention tomorrow."

Sasuke chuckled, "He's so much like you it'll drive him nuts."

Naruto nodded, "But you know teme, I think maybe we should start potty training."

The Uchiha nodded in agreement and they went back to their own bed to get some rest.

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Sasuke watched Naruto set the training pottys up with amusement. The blond was surrounded by their children, explaining what to do with the pottys. Arashi, little imp that he was, tilted his head and said, "Tow Kaa?"

Naruto blinked as he heard Sasuke snicker, "You want me to show you what to do?"

The little boy nodded and Sasuke said, "Oh by all means Naruto, do show him."

Naruto glared lightly over his shoulder at Sasuke before whipping out a book that he'd had Sai draw, watching the artist like a hawk all the while. He flipped the book open, "See here Arashi, there's you, and Kaji and Hikari and Mikomi."

Arashi nodded, his finger in his mouth gaze focused as Naruto flipped the pages, "When you feel like you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo, you go to a potty like these," Naruto pointed to the training pottys, "or the adult potty and-"

Sasuke stared in amazement as Naruto explained the process of using the toilet to the children, aided by the book with nary a stutter or uncomfortable pause. He shook his head as the toddlers all nodded. Naruto would never cease to amaze him, planning for explaining potty use to toddlers so thoroughly and efficiently was not something he'd have expected from his usuratonkachi.

Naruto smiled as he finished the 'potty story' and ruffled Arashi's hair, "Okay you guys now I want you to try your best and if you need help just come and get me, Chichue, Iru-jiji, or Kaka-jiji."

Sasuke smirked as four little heads bobbed and he wondered how Naruto would deal with it when he had to explain how to use the toilet for the fiftieth time because if what he'd heard from other parents was true then it would take at least fifty repetitions until the children caught on.

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few months later

Naruto sighed as he walked into the bathroom and saw a suspicious yellowish puddle on the floor. It had taken a few months but the children now had a good grasp on potty use except there was one tiny problem, the boys didn't know how to aim. Naruto and the other occupants of the Uchiha manor were often greeted by small yellow puddles in the bathrooms these days. Naruto shook his head and grabbed a few paper towels to wipe up the pee. He washed his hands and pondered over how to teach his sons how to aim for the potty.

As he left the bathroom and walked down the hall, he happened to glance outside and saw Sasuke throwing shuriken at a target. Naruto blinked. 'That's it! They need a target.' Naruto grinned as he went through his mental list of things that wouldn't cause too much mess if put in the training toilets.

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Naruto had to wait to implement his plan until just before dinnertime but when Kaji tugged on his pant leg and looked up to let him know he had to go potty, the blond daddy calmly accompanied his eldest son to the bathroom and knelt before the chibi.

"Hey Kaji I have kind of a game you can play when you go potty."

Kaji tilted his head, "Na?"

Naruto tore a single sheet of toilet paper off the roll and placed it in the training potty, "Try your best to hit the paper when you go pee-pee."

Kaji blinked then a small twinkle entered the black of his eyes as he grasped what his 'mommy' was telling him. Naruto stood back and stifled his laughter as Kaji began trying to hit the 'target' until he ran out of ammo. Finished peeing Kaji looked up at Naruto, who was grinning widely, "Kaa do good?"

Naruto helped Kaji pull his pants back on and ruffled his hair, "You did very good. Now how about we wash our hands and go eat huh?"

"Tell 'Wahe."

Naruto couldn't help it, he laughed, "I promise we'll tell Arashi next time he has to go potty."

Kaji just nodded and let his 'mommy' help him clean up for supper.

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a couple weeks afterwards

Sasuke sat on the couch with Naruto between his legs on the floor, watching their toddlers swarm Kakashi. The Uchiha smiled as Hikari smacked the copy ninja with a foam rubber kunai and Kakashi pretended to be mortally wounded. Naruto was scribbling furiously on some paperwork regarding the ninja education system revision he'd been fighting for. The former avenger just ran his fingers through Naruto's hair when the blond began getting too tense. Sasuke directed his gaze to Naruto's shoulders and began to rub them, working out the kinks that had developed in the muscles, "You're working too hard usuratonkachi."

"Hn, this is important."

Sasuke suppressed a smile at the blond's use of an Uchiha monosyllable, then leaned down to wrap his arms around Naruto's shoulders and nuzzle the golden locks of his husband's hair, "I know but you'll miss important details if your stressed out."

Naruto leaned back into the embrace for a moment then shrugged as a signal to the ravenette to let go so he could finish up. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and just pulled away slightly to resume running his fingers through the blond hair. Suddenly, Naruto's head whipped up and he scanned the room, "Where's Arashi?"

Sasuke blinked and looked up to see Kakashi under a pile of three chibis and Arashi no where to be found, "I don't know. I'll go ch-"

From the hallway they heard a loud flush followed by a small voice saying, "Uh-oh."

Naruto's brow quirked as Sasuke dashed down the hall, "Well that's not good."

Kakashi looked over at the blond, "Hmm what do you mean?"

"By the time you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late."

Naruto got up to follow Sasuke and found the ravenette standing in the bathroom with a toilet over-flowing and Arashi standing next to the toilet with his head down. The blond sloshed over to the toilet, lifted the lid, corked the tank, and looked down at his son, "Arashi what went down the toilet?"

The little imp looked up and ducked his head, "Wuffy go 'wim."

Naruto blinked, bit his lip to keep from laughing, and glanced over his shoulder at Sasuke, who looked a little horrified. The blond sighed, "Teme could you take Arashi to the kitchen and bring me a mop?"

Sasuke picked Arashi up but before he could leave the boy pouted at his 'mommy', "But Wuffy!"

Naruto smiled, "Don't worry, we'll get Fluffy back now go with Chichue."

Arashi protested but Sasuke marched out of the bathroom with him. Naruto looked down at the toilet and sighed as he got down on his knees and reached into the bowl to find a stuffed fox named Fluffy.

When Sasuke came back with the mop, Naruto was just pulling the now sopping wet stuffed animal out of the bowl. The Uchiha grimaced as Naruto wrung the critter out, "What, exactly, are you going to do with that thing?"

"Disinfect it, wash it, and give it back to Arashi after a lecture on things not to flush."

Sasuke sighed and nudged Naruto towards the door, "Go on Usuratonkachi, clean and dry yourself and get back to your paperwork. I'll handle this, Arashi, and the stuffed animal."

Naruto looked at Sasuke and smiled gratefully before going to follow the Uchiha's suggestion. The raven took one quick look around, glared at the watery floor, and began the task of mopping up.

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Naruto and Sasuke stood masked before Tsunade and the entire ANBU corps in confusion. She'd called them away from the triplet's 2nd birthday party for a meeting in ANBU headquarters. Naruto readjusted his Inu mask and tilted his head, "Hokage-sama may I ask why Taka-san and I have been summoned?"

Tsunade smiled, "Well I have an offer for the two of you. Inu no Aoi, Taka no Aka I would like to extend the positions of ANBU captain and vice-captain to you, respectively."

Naruto's mouth dropped open behind his mask and Sasuke's eyes widened almost painfully. Naruto took a deep breath, "What would be the responsibilities, benefits, and risks of such positions?"

"You'll be required to train other ANBU and therefore will be able to remain in the village more often than you currently do. However the missions you'll be sent on will be exponentially more dangerous. It will be your job to keep the ANBU in line and to discipline those who disobey orders or betray Konoha as well as interrogate some individuals."

Naruto and Sasuke shifted slightly and the headquarters fell completely silent as the two contemplated the offer. After a few minutes, a shared glance, and silent agreement, Naruto straightened, threw his shoulders back, and nodded, "I accept Hokage-sama."

Sasuke nodded as well, "I accept as well Hokage-sama."

The Godaime grinned, "Good! I'll complete the paperwork tonight and tomorrow we'll go further in depth on your duties. For now however, let's get our asses back to the birthday party."

The assemblage laughed and teleported back to the Uchiha compound

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Okay there it was. I hope you liked it.

Ri: We're baaaaaack!

T.W.: Hiya Ri!

Ri: Hey, happy birthday Tee.

T.W: (giggles) Thanks!

Ri: Sai and I have a birthday gift for you.

T.W.: (squeals) Really?! What is it?

Ri: (grabs T.W.'s shoulders and turns her to face Itachi and Sai)

T.W.: (stares at Itachi tied up with black leather) Oh. My. (grabs a tissue) Is that Madara? How'd you get him here?

Ri: Oh it was easy, I just had to mention that Itachi hadn't had his ass plundered in a while.

T.W: (plugs nosebleed as Sai and Madara begin molesting Itachi) Have I mentioned lately that you're awesome Ri?

Ri: I think you said something along those lines yes.

T.W.: Allow me to reiterate, you rock awesomely.

Ri: You're welcome.

T.W.: Well if you lovely readers will excuse me I'm gonna go enjoy my present so review and if you have any ideas for childhood moments that are funny or touching please do share. Thank for read-

Itachi: (mewls) Oh GODS Mada-kun!

T.W.: -ing. Going now. Ja ne!