In the cold of space you find the heat of suns

I am very grateful for the reviews. Thank you.

Apologies if the characters have grown differently in their new environment.

Spacer crews travel the Far Borders and the Fringe of occupied space, trading. Spacing is an ancient and honourable profession carved out by millenniums. Most spacers start out as fourteen-year-old boys seeking a future. Few survive a decade spacing.

58. Conversations

---

Haku and Neji eyed each other. They were in the small consulting room in the infirmary, facing up to the challenge of talking about Neji’s latest hypnotherapy session.

“The Snuffers,” Neji stated. “I know it was the Snuffers.”

Haku was ashamed of the relief he felt that he did not have to introduce the subject.

“Shika knows,” Neji added.

Haku stiffened. “I did not tell him,” he insisted.

“I know you would not,” Neji assured him. “This is Shikamaru we are talking about. He probably hacked into the hypnotherapy records.”

Haku was outraged. “How dare he?” he demanded.

Neji shrugged. “He probably did it before he thought about what he was doing. For most people, the levels of security remind them that they are not meant to be there. For Shikamaru they may as well not exist. Please do me the favour of ignoring his misdeed, Haku-san.”

“If you wish it that way,” Haku conceded. “Does he know you know he knows?”

Neji unravelled the levels of complication. “No, not yet. However, he is treating me as if I am made of glass and his eyes are too wise.”

“But he is not unnerved,” Haku observed.

Neji considered. “No. If anything, the opposite. He has responded by being stronger.”


There was silence. Haku decided to wait a little longer in the hope that Neji would choose to break it.

“I can speak of it,” Neji acknowledged. “Even though I cannot remember what I said to you, I can tell what it was because the barrier has gone.”

“That is one effect of the hypnotherapy,” Haku reminded him.


There was another silence before Neji chose to speak again.

“Surviving the Snuffers was not the worst,” he admitted.

Haku’s blood ran cold with the thought of what Neji could mean.

“I was with them more than another standard after that. They stuck to the rules, I was never involved in a game again, but I…” Neji shuddered. “…I had to clean up after them. It wasn’t so bad when they were dead. A few times they were dying. One would have survived, like me, but he killed himself as soon as they took him out of the tank.”

“You were tougher,” Haku said, gently.

Neji merely shook his head. “It was fine when they treated me like a slave. Occasionally, they would act as if they were a normal crew and I was a normal cat. That was… …intolerable. I would last until one of them touched me. Then I would lose it. I do not know why they did not kill me.”

“They were bound by the rules of the game,” Haku suggested. “How did you get away?”

Neji sighed. “They challenged the wrong crew. I was reparation. The poor crew did not know what to do with me so they left me alone until they could manage to get a bigger crew to take me as part of a deal. That crew had a squad of cats, so there was room for a damaged one who only did chores. They liked the way I cleaned and tidied. In their way they were kind. They left me alone. They let me learn. They taught me to fight. When I was ready, they promoted me to crew on the understanding that I would leave.”


There was another long silence. Haku decided Neji was not going to speak.

“You are still you,” he stated.

Neji considered. “Yes. I think I may be proud of that,” he admitted.

“It is an achievement of which you should be proud,” Haku insisted.

---

“You said they said yes,” Anko complained. She stood with her arms folded, staring him down.

“That means we can,” Shino replied from where he sat, his voice soft. “It does not mean we should.”

Anko did not know if she should tear out her own hair, punch him or leap on him and fuck him senseless. Why did she even want him? He was too young, too soft and too damn thoughtful. On the other hand, she could not get him out of her head. She had hoped that fucking him would help, but instead she had ended up caught up with his insanely complicated substitute family.

“It’s just fucking,” she barked and regretted her words immediately. The change in his body language told her that any small chance of a fuck had vanished. He said nothing. She knew he was upset when he said nothing. She cast about for some way to make it up to him. “I’ll come to the damn evening meal,” she promised.

“This evening?” he checked.

Anko winced at the thought of being interrogated by Iruka with the rest of them listening intently. “This evening,” she growled. “Where are you going?” she asked as he stood up and moved towards the door.

“To tell Choza-san that there will be one extra for the meal,” he told her.

She watched his delectable arse as he walked away, wondering how in known space she had ended up going to a formal meal with his family when she had yet to see him naked.

---

Sasuke sat on the edge of the platform, staring at the three large eggs. Having them appear in the nursery had made the babies acutely real. Yes, he was the one who wanted children. Yes, he was the one who had insisted that they could not wait. No, he did not feel in the least part ready to be a parent. He imagined a basket in each of the three hollows and a small, screaming infant in each of the baskets. It terrified him.

He could not even take the usual Uchiha escape route of delegating their care to others. He would have to feed them and bathe them and clean up their mess because if he did not Naruto would be hurt and disappointed. Sasuke could not bear the thought of Naruto’s sad eyes and drooping whiskers, never mind the reality.

Naruto’s litter of three, who were here because Sasuke had wanted them and Naruto had, in Naruto’s way, committed himself so wholeheartedly.

He placed a hand on one of the eggs. It vibrated slightly. He checked the identifier. It was the second boy.

“Jiro-chan. This is your…” Sasuke hesitated. “…father.” He wondered what they would call Naruto; perhaps chichi or papa. He moved his hand to the next; it was the other boy. “Taro-chan,” he acknowledged. Maybe he and Naruto should discuss names. ‘First son’ and ‘second son’ did not seem right for brothers of the same age and equal importance. “Aneko-chan,” he added, moving his hand to the third egg.

“I shall try,” he promised.

---

Naruto studied the short list Temari had given him. She had told him, outright, that she disapproved of what Gaara was doing. Once she had calmed a little she explained that they had compromised on this plan. Instead of Gaara asking his questions face-to-face, she would relay Gaara’s questions, Naruto would record his answers and Gaara would view the answers from the safety of his ship. Naruto considered asking for more details, but decided that it would be unwise.

He set up the small, portable holo camera Shino had found for him.

“Good day, Gaara-san,” Naruto said brightly. He looked at the list. “Do you lose control?” he read. He put down the tablet and unfastened the wide leather choker that bore his plaque. He laid it down on the table.

“Yes, I lose control. I am a berserker. This…” He pointed at the thin collar about his neck. “…is a controller. Shikamaru made it for me. It knocks me out when I go berserk so I don’t hurt anyone.” Naruto considered. “It isn’t a normal controller. I set it. I can give someone else an activator, so he can knock me out. I do that when I fight. I can switch it off, but I don’t, because the last person I attacked berserk was Sasuke.

“It doesn’t happen often. Like the time on Chanx. Someone shot me. It was bad, because Kakashi and Ibiki had to protect me when they should have been looking after Sasuke.”

Naruto pondered the question again. “I lost my temper once. I didn’t go berserk, so the controller didn’t cut in. I almost killed someone. I won’t let that happen again. I can control my temper.”

Naruto shook himself. He hated thinking about almost killing Shi-chan.

He looked back at the tablet and read, “Why Sasuke?”

It was not an easy question to answer. Naruto struggled to find the best truth.

“Sasuke is my mate,” he admitted. “First he was a friend, and then the person I cared most about and then I fucked him and everything changed. Now he is part of me, like my brain or my heart.” He rubbed the fur on the back of his head and smiled at the camera. “I guess I am lucky I fucked such an awesome person, ‘cos I didn’t know it would change me like that. It’s a fox thing.”

He checked the tablet again. The next question was, “Were you always happy?”

“No, I wasn’t always happy. I’m not always happy now but I am happy a lot. Before I joined this crew I did not know happy. I was scared most of the time. Most of the time I was scared of dying. A bit of the time I was scared I would flip and kill someone. Not that I minded killing, but I knew I would be terminated if someone found out.”

Naruto thought about it. “Two things happened that changed everything. I met good people. I got the controller so I could be trusted not to kill them. Now I can be happy.”

He checked the tablet. No more questions had appeared.

“I guess that’s it, Gaara-san. I hope my answers help. I would really like us to be friends.”

Naruto switched off the camera and copied the video to a tape.

---

Temari suggested the docking bay for her meeting with Gaara. It was reassuringly open.

“You viewed the tape before you gave it to me,” Gaara stated.

Temari nodded. “Yes, it seemed prudent.”

There was silence.

“You cannot consider it,” she told him. “You would have to expose your weaknesses for Shikamaru to make the controller. Even if we could trust him to design and make it, wearing it would make you vulnerable.”

Gaara understood. They would no longer be terrified of him. Terror gave Gaara power.

But Temari was his sister. She was his sister in a way that Kankuro was not his brother.

“I want a life, Temari,” he admitted. “Naruto has a life.”

“You will never be Naruto, Gaara,” she told him. “He is light and you are dark.” She looked at him. “You have responsibilities that Naruto does not have.”

He met her gaze and she immediately looked away. “I will stay as I am until we defeat the slavers,” he informed her. “Then I will step down.”

Temari shook her head. “Kankuro is not capable.”

“You are,” Gaara replied. “I will be your champion, as Naruto is Sasuke’s champion. If necessary, I will kill Kankuro. It will not be necessary. Once he is sworn to you, I will be free.”

Gaara’s plan was tempting and not unrealistic.

“I agree,” she told him.

Gaara was shocked. Surprise threatened his control. He began walking towards his ship.

“Good,” he acknowledged as he entered the airlock.

Temari watched until the airlock closed.

The more thought she gave it, the better Gaara’s plan appeared.

---

Anko had racked her mind for a suitable gift. In the end she had sacrificed ninety minutes to make sweetmeats to her mother’s recipe. She presented them to Iruka on arrival and was rewarded by a smile that looked genuine.

“These look lovely, Anko-san,” Iruka acknowledged.

Anko decided that she needed all the credit that was available. “My mother’s recipe, Iruka-san. I hope you like it,” she replied, ignoring Shino’s flabbergasted expression.

The smile was definitely warm this time. “That makes them doubly precious, Anko-san.” Iruka told her. He handed the box to Konohamaru. “Kono-kun, please arrange these on a suitable plate.”

After the first ten minutes, Anko decided that formality had its good points. It reminded her to watch her tongue and ensured predictability. For the first time in her life, Anko was grateful to her mother for her unrelenting insistence on good manners.

“And what are your long-term plans, Anko-san?” Iruka asked.

Anko silently cursed; this was one of those questions to which there was no good answer. Having no plans would not be acceptable, having plans that included Shino would be presumptuous and having plans that did not include Shino would be selfish. “I find that plans require constant revision,” she replied. “I am sure that your plans did not include running the Uchiha household, Iruka-san.”

Iruka actually laughed. “That is so true, Anko-san,” he agreed.


“You were wonderful,” Shino admitted when they finally escaped into his room. “Thank you.”

Anko flopped onto the bed. “Someone explain how a man who is younger than me can be a clone of my mother,” she complained.

“Iruka-san is younger than you?” Shino queried.

Anko rolled onto her front and propped her chin up on her hands. “That’s what Tsunade told us. Iruka joined the Silver Leaf, as cat, less than ten standards ago. That makes him at most twenty-four. He only seems forty.”

Shino shivered. “We expect so much from him,” he murmured.

“At least Kakashi finally realised what he has and stuck a ring on his finger,” Anko observed. She reached out and snagged Shino’s hand. “Do I get my reward now?” she asked.

Shino flushed. “Reward?”

Anko pulled him close. “Naked. I want you naked.”

Shino twisted away. “I will take my lenses out,” he conceded, sat down and proceeded to do so.

Anko sighed. It was hopeless; the Silver Leaf would leave before she managed to get him out of his clothes.

“Anko,” he called, softly.

She looked at him and desire surged; by the Lady his eyes were beautiful.

---

Shikamaru was surprised that Neji had booked the bathroom for them. They began in Shikamaru’s room; the plan was to shower there and then luxuriate in the bath.

He was nervous as they stripped; Neji could not fail to notice it.

Neji was surprised to see a ring on a long chain about Shikamaru’s neck. He stepped closer and touched it.

“Shika?” he asked.

“It’s for you,” Shikamaru admitted. “If ever you feel you can accept it.”

It was a very Shikamaru solution; a gentle but reoccurring reminder of his affection. Neji could not take it but Shikamaru did not expect him to; not yet.

“Haku is cross with you,” Neji told him, “for hacking into the records.”

Shikamaru flushed. “I…” he began.

Neji placed a finger on his lips. “Hush. I am not cross. It is who you are.”

“It makes me love you more, not less,” Shikamaru assured him. “You are amazing.”

Neji could accept the first, but not the second. He changed the subject. “I have been thinking,” he told Shikamaru. “It is easiest in the shower. It is easier anywhere that does not remind me.”

“The bath,” Shikamaru surmised. His eyes lit up. “The galley? The Control Room? The laboratory? What about Naruto’s nursery? That’s weird enough to be different.”

“Shika!” Neji scolded but he could not help smiling.

Shikamaru reached out and ran his fingertips through a strand of Neji’s hair. “Today we try the bath,” he agreed.

---