Throw it all away

They’d always been good at hiding. If there was anything Naruto and Sasuke excelled at as a pair, it was feigning ignorance.

Sasuke could feel the curious stares settle over them, as he stood resolutely behind Naruto. Naruto, in his chair, looked over mission requests with a certain despondency that infected the room at large. Sakura, seated beside him, smiled gently at both patrons and ninja as they entered. Sasuke was unsure of whether she felt Naruto was mourning Neji’s absence, or if she suspected.

It wasn’t as if anything had occurred.

They had received no word as of yet on the team. And though he was pretty sure he was the cause of Naruto’s mood, he couldn’t quite rule out Neji completely. Not yet. After all, why else would Naruto have stopped them? He’d always been intensely loyal.

Though, Sasuke had only ever seen Naruto display it in the form of friendship, his unerring loyalty – blind in its faithfulness – must surely devote itself as strongly to his lover. Perhaps, even more than Sasuke’s perceived projection.

It was frustrating, knowing that Naruto’s mood could be centered about Neji. It could be that he was just selfish, but Sasuke wanted to know the Naruto who had been so devoted to him. The boy who had pushed himself to grow, pushed himself to his very limits, in an attempt to return him to his home village. Oh, how he wanted to believe that Naruto was just as selfish. To know that the blonde had stayed singularly focussed on this one purpose alone.

Obsession wasn’t a healthy state of being. But, it was all Sasuke knew. And it would make him only too happy to know that Naruto had slipped, tainting himself if just a little, to understand him. Because he wanted him. Not because he had promised.

In his silent brooding, Sasuke was unaware he had a frown on his face. Unaware that his upset was clear for all to see. People passing by, with the sudden need to flee. For an unhappy Uchiha was no pleasant sight.

He was doing himself a disservice.

Not that he could be bothered to care.

“The Rokudaime will be taking a little break,” said Sakura, with a small bow toward the small crowd amassed by the door. “Please hand in your requests to Iruka-san. The Hokage will be with you shortly.”

Sasuke’s start was thankfully internal.

Sakura had reached for Naruto’s arm, and hauled him to his feet. If he was startled as well, he didn’t show it. In fact, he seemed too preoccupied to be bothered by how they looked.

The all mighty Rokudaime being lead out of the audience room by his assistant, like a lost child.

Sasuke followed silently.


Naruto’s body sunk heavily into his chair, as Sakura hurried about his office, closing all the shutters. When she was finished, she barely spared Sasuke a glance, as he closed the door and moved to stand by the desk. Instead, she settled upon her knees, in front of her friend, raising her hands to his temples.

A soft glow of chakra had Naruto sighing.

“Thank you, Sakura.”

She stood, looking to Sasuke once more, before turning back to their former teammate. “Naruto…If there’s anything you want to talk about…”

“I’m fine. Thanks.”

“But-”

“I’ll be ready in a minute.”

Taking it for the dismissal it was, Sakura straightened. Sasuke watched her demeanor change. Back straight, head high. Her fists clenched at her sides, as if longing to hit the unaccommodating blond across the back of the head, as she often had when they were children.

He watched her cross the room, glaring at him the whole time. Sasuke was a little surprised at the ferocity of the gaze. He had never seen her look at anyone thusly. Least of all him. The most hurtful gaze she had ever directed at him, had been all on her side. He’d watched coolly, as she seemed to break before him, begging him not to go.

Who was this woman, who stared with such promise? For, he could see it in her eyes. She would hurt him. Well, she could try.

“Naruto-” he began, once she was gone.

“I think I’m ready to go back now,” he said, standing suddenly.

Sasuke wanted to speak to him. To clear the festering, polluted air that coiled about them. To his dismay, his mouth would not listen to his heart. Obeying instead, the pleading eyes of his only love. Nodding, he waited for Naruto to pass him, before diligently following him out.


The discomfort between them only grew worse.

By the next day, it was a tense, almost sentient existence. Sakura tried to talk Naruto into taking the day off. However, with the main body of his core off on a life threatening mission, Naruto adamantly refused. There was nothing to be done, save stand beside him, and try not to scream.

Sasuke was sure, if he could get Naruto alone, if only for a moment, he could clear things between them. Even if he had to apologize. He was unhappy, being the source of Naruto’s discomfort. Initially, because it was not quite so tangible, he had been a bit pleased. Knowing Naruto was focussing on him, made a warm weight settle in his belly. But, that weight had grown bitter and heavy over night. Leaving him feeling sick, and off balance.

Sakura must have noticed, because she wouldn’t leave them alone.

Sasuke tried to come up with an excuse, a diversion, anything. Sakura needed to give them space, time. They wouldn’t be able to heal anything, under an overbearing chaperone. Nor confront what needed to be dragged out into the harsh light of day.

He was aware now, that his feelings were reciprocated – if marginally. Knowing he had a chance, gave him hope. Which in turn fed his courage. Unfortunately, Sasuke had never been forgiving. Patient, yes. He could wait, if he knew it was something they both needed. But, Sakura was forcing the gap to widen, and Sasuke couldn’t let that happen.

The strange desire to protect Naruto from embarrassment, was pooling a steady flow of anger in his belly. And the possessive streak he could seem to contain around his competitor threatened to overtake him.

Why was it, when Neji was the threat, he felt the desire to maim, but not kill? If he truly wanted Naruto for his own, wouldn’t killing Neji be the fastest course of action?

One look at the depressed blond, made him feel guilty for even considering it. No, he could never hurt Naruto so deeply. A little voice in his mind – one he greatly wished to ignore – somberly added that the Hyuuga would not be so easy to kill. The thought was surprisingly warming. And that was confusing.

While Sasuke pondered over the strange new course his thoughts were taking toward his rival, Naruto had had enough.

“Sakura! Stop it!”

She paused, in abject surprise, almost dropping the bit of cloth she was nonsensically folding.

“Your hovering is driving me crazy.”

“Naruto-”

“You have patients at the hospital. You should be there.”

She looked hurt. Sasuke didn’t bother to offer her any aide.

“But, Naruto…”

“I should be perfectly safe, here in my office with Sasuke.”

Sasuke noted Sakura didn’t seem to agree, and despite a nagging voice that sounded an awful lot like his sensei’s that warned him not to, he smirked.

She frowned.

“I’ll see you at dinner.” And the way he said it booked no argument.

“Of course,” she replied softly. “I’ll see you later.”


After she had left, the tension eased into an awkward span. The air felt electric, as if their bodies were attempting to speak without their consent. To connect in spite of the gulf between them.

Naruto heaved a sigh and stood.

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke turned to face him, an eerie sort of dread filling his chest.

“About what happened…”

He wasn’t aware he was holding his breath. Wasn’t aware, that he wanted desperately for Naruto to not finish the sentence as much as he needed him to.

The young Hokage sighed, raking a hand through his unruly hair. He bit his lip, brow furrowing softly. When he looked up, Sasuke had his answer.


“Sasuke….”

Sasuke moaned, hands sliding over warm, tanned skin. Naruto bucked, as his tongue delved into his belly button. Firm hands clutching his dark hair.

His mouth traveled down, taking its time, now that he knew he’d won. Over Naruto, at least, the treacherous voice replied. He steadfastly ignored it. The blond moaned, writhing against him, as he tongued the tip of his arousal. He responded in kind, a low, resonating moan of contentment as he took him in his mouth.

“Yes…Sasuke….”

And the more he said his name, the more he felt his heart swell. Until it felt near to bursting with happiness. Naruto’s taste, a heavy reality. His scent all encompassing, surrounding him. Warmth radiated from his body, caressing Sasuke’s own.

With each downward thrust, Sasuke felt more complete. Naruto’s breath hitching brought him up short. He had a quick decision to make. He wanted to taste him. To feel him inside, as he released. But, he also wanted to be flush against him, not so disjoined. He wanted to entwine his body with the other’s and never let go.

“S-ss-Sasuke..!”

So he let his body chose.

Rising swiftly, he drew Naruto close. The younger’s mouth open and panting. He opened his own, dropping his forehead against the blond’s, feasting on the soft cries that drifted between them.

As Naruto came, he clutched Sasuke’s arms. Sasuke’s mouth quickly descended, capturing the Rokudaime’s mouth in a fiery claim. Tongues twisting, lost deeply within one another’s mouths. Naruto twitched in his arms, shoving his hips against Sasuke’s own, as he returned to himself.

They drew apart, panting harshly. Naruto’s arms slipped about his shoulders, clasping tightly behind his neck. “Sasuke…” he breathed. In his eyes, Sasuke could see a growing tempest. On the one hand, he was so happy, he was near trembling. On the other, he was so appalled at his own actions. Upon having betrayed his lover.

Tears were quick to come, and Sasuke drew him close.

He didn’t know why. He should be happy. He should be so happy. And yet…he felt horrible.

What had he done?