Back to School

A/N: okay, so, I was having the crappiest day EVER, I had spent most of it in a small town 30min drive from my place, just because we have to take more driving lessons about 0,5-2 years after getting our driver's license (which I think are just a waste of money, seriously, I'm a student, I don't have an extra 250 euros?!?) ...anyway, I left at about 1pm and was back at 6:30pm and I was so pissed off! Then I got into a fight with my roommate (I swear, there's a point in all this) which was only because she wanted to be a bitch and so on. ANYWAY, I then went to my sister's to cool down and just came back (it's 1:25 am) and opened my laptop and... Tokyo-Princess left me such a sweet review! You made me so happy and I seriously wanna marry you, you interested? I'll write you any kind of fic you want!!

Oh yeah, replies!

Tokyo-Princess: KYAAAAAH! *glomp* thankyouthankyouthankyou! Don't care how much space you take, you just made my day! ...anyway, Chouji's not mean, he just totally knows how to get Shika to do what he's told. And don't worry, bones heal :D and I have this image of Chouji and his mother watching daytime soap operas, bawling their eyes out when Sachio and Junko have a fight. *totally read your fic Iruka Iruka Paradise* And thank you, it was hard trying to get Neji right, but I think he's really changed from the first time we saw him, he actually shows emotions. But Lee wasn't so hard, though I did have to concentrate to make sure he was the Lee-est Lee he could be! (omg, that rhymed) anyway, thank you once again and I promise I'll bring Shika back, he just needs some time away from Naruto and his problems :D

tash1021: thank you! And I know, Shika didn't really deserve it but that's why he's getting some time off :D

Kurai Kisu: GASP! I've never 'seen' a seme Haku :o ...it's probably the hair, though Neji is often seme... *ponders* ah yeees, the *kukuku* and *fufufu* are evil laughs. *mwaha* I use quite an array of them, and I think Orochimaru does the *kukuku* one. And thank you, again, it's always nice when you review, I keep on waiting for you to do it! XD

Sugary: thank you! I like writing funny stories, because then, if you feel like it, you can add something crack-ish there or make one of the characters say something random without making it look out of place :D and thank you, Shikamaru's speech was fun to write :P

spoon: thaaaank yooouu!! and you'll see soon to whom Naruto goes with his problematic situation xD

SharinganEyes: more than happy when you review! ^^ and Gaara, you say? Hmm, there might be something there, I'll think about adding him, cause I think his reaction would be priceless! ...though he's pretty hard to write (in-character) because of all the angst and unresolved things!!! and of course I'll give Neji some love, they all get a chance of happiness! ..oh god, what fluff :D

Oh, and I'd like to make something clear. I do not hate any characters from Naruto, or any anime/manga. I just don't do hate. So, if you think something seems like character-bashing, it probably isn't. I try to write the characters as they would be written in the manga/anime.

(thoughts)

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After Naruto had succesfully made a total ass of himself in front of the people standing outside the medical center, he directed his steps towards the only person he could really trust with this kind of information, that being Iruka-sensei. Of course he would have to leave some parts out, like the fact that he and Sasuke had done 'it' (which totally didn't happen) on his desk. Or that the one breaking his cd player was actually Sasuke, not some random kid lashing out his angst.

Naruto reached the front door of his favorite sensei's apartment, knocking on it and waiting patiently. It was almost five minutes before Iruka finally opened the door, sticking his head out from behind it.

”Hey Iruka-sensei! I need to talk to you!” Iruka looked at the blond sunshine, his eyes widening.

”Umm, now's not the best time.” It was only now that Naruto realized the condition his sensei was in, his face flushed and his hair disheveled (and is he wearing any clothes?!) He was about to ask if the brunet was falling ill, when Iruka interrupted his thoughts.

”I'm really sorry Naruto, and I promise we'll talk later, but now I really need to go! I'll catch up to you later, mmkay?” Naruto slowly nodded, looking kind of disappointed, to which Iruka gave him a couraging smile. ”I swear I'll come get you later.” Naruto nodded, this time with more enthusiasm, and started walking away as the door closed.

Though he quickly turned as he heard Iruka's voice calling him. ”I nearly forgot! Remind me to talk to you about proper treatment of school equipment and what NOT to do with them or ON THEM.”

Naruto grinned sheepishly and briskly made his way towards the academy.

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Naruto grumbled to himself while walking along the corridor, trying to sort out his thoughts. So, first Shikamaru had said it was mind control, though it probably wasn't the sharingan as his 'test' earlier had shown. And it was something Sasuke could control, for Naruto didn't blank out when they met but did blank out later the same day.

Then there was to be considered the fact that he wasn't the only one affected by the stoic Uchiha, people all around him acted funny and couldn't explain why. For instance, Naruto had caught Sakura hugging a tree outside, with a serene smile on her face. He had had to shout her name rather loud before she snapped out of it, and when she did, Sakura had no idea why she was out there, nor why she was rubbing herself to an oak.

Naruto's ponderings came to an abrubt stop when he bumped into Ino, who was behaving more flirtish than normal. ”Ino, are you okay-” The words died in his mouth as Ino gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek and went on her way, looking for new victims. Naruto wiped his cheek and willed the blush on his face to go down, now wasn't the time for that.

After he had walked for few minutes, and passed many his classmates and students, Naruto saw something peculiar.

Kabuto and Karin were standing in the middle of the hallway, commanding people to do different things and enthusiasticly scribbling down notes.

Naruto side-stepped to avoid a glomp from a surprisingly affectionate Udon and made his way closer to the pair, who were grinning very much like mad scientists. ”Reaction time, good. Eagerness, excellent.”

The wheels slowly turned in Naruto's head and he knew there was something fishy going on. But before he could go deeper into what it was, he was spotted by Karin.

”Oi, Kabuto, I found us a perfect guineapig!” She quickly closed the distance between them and pulled the blond with her back to Kabuto. ”Hurry, I want to make him do something for me!”

Kabuto looked at his associate from behind his glasses, seeming to be deep in thought. ”Are you sure this isn't just for revenge?”

Karin huffed, stomping her feet like a little child who wouldn't get her way. ”No, it's purely for scientific purposes!”

Kabuto sighed and walked over to Naruto, who was desperately trying to back away, but Karin had effectively anchored herself to the tan arm, keeping him in place. Naruto frantically started looking around him, hoping to find someone who could help him.

Kabuto was now inches away from the blond. ”Naruto-kun.” Naruto unwillingly turned his head to look at the dark eyes staring him down. ”Take a deep breath for me.”

Naruto inhaled, hearing Karin snicker beside him, and felt his mind getting hazy again, slowly shutting off all intellectual activity.

Karin nearly bounced in exitement, grinning wildly. ”Great! Now, how about you...” She looked around, coming up with ways to test his newfound loyalty, when her eyes landed on a flushed Hinata, leaning to the wall with her cheek, caressing it fondly. ”I know! Naruto-kun, kiss Hinata!”

Hinata slowly turned her head when she heard her name said and absently watched as Naruto came closer to her. She also faintly registered the hands around her and the lips closing in to meet hers. They were almost touching when a yell froze them. ”Naruto, stop!”

Naruto and Hinata stayed where they were, their faces close to each other and their eyes half-closed. They didn't see when Sasuke walked over to Karin and Kabuto, looking extremely agitated and getting into an argument with the two.

”Naruto is my test subject, and I don't recall giving you permission to use him. Nor do I remember either of you asking me for it.” Kabuto rolled his eyes and turned to watch his other subjects, he didn't have any particular need to see him obey, he had already read the reports.

Karin, on the other hand, did have a specific need to make Naruto squirm, for she too had read the reports. ”Sasuke-kun, what's so special about him?! You use him in almost all your tests! It's just not fair!”

Sasuke regarded the girl, keeping his composure, when inside he was shouting at and strangling her for almost making HIS Naruto kiss anyone else. ”He's an excellent test subject for me because I know him well and so I know when he's not being himself.”

Karin curled her fingers into fists, clenching her teeth. ”So you know he's not himself when YOU'RE MAKING OUT WITH HIM!”

There would have been a complete silence throughout the corridor, if all the people there hadn't been in a lust-filled haze, showing each other new sides of themselves.

A vein pounded in Sasuke's forehead and the corner of his left eye twitched in irritation. Before he could give her a proper comeback, Karin had already stomped over to Naruto and spun him around. ”Naruto, tell me the truth. How do you feel about Sasuke?”

Sasuke felt dread easing its way to his mind and quickly crossed the gap between him and blond, closing his mouth with his hand. ”Karin, what do you think you're doing?”

Karin was looking mighty pleased with herself. ”Come now, I know why you're doing this, you have a crush on the boy!” She put her hands on her hips and stood more on her right leg.

Sasuke death glared the girl. ”I do not have a crush on him.” The words were said clearly and with a freezing cold aura. Karin shrugged off the ominous cloud gathering around her, and smiled wickedly. ”You're afraid of what he'll say, aren't you? You're scared he'll turn you down.”

Sasuke didn't say anything, but intensified his glare, which was more than enough to confirm Karin that she was right. ”I knew it.” She pulled Sasuke's hand off, who didn't fight back for he knew he had already lost. ”Naruto, tell me the truth. How do you feel about Uchiha Sasuke?” Sasuke closed his eyes, readying himself for the utter hopelessness that would surely follow the blond boy's words.

Naruto tried to focus his gaze, but just grinned when failed. He steadied himself and stood with his back straight, like getting ready to spill out universal truths. Both Karin and Sasuke nervously waited, almost fidgeting where they were. Then Naruto opened his mouth, an out came something neither of the audience had expected.

”I'm gay for Uchiha Sasuke.”

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A/N: *laughs* I just can't end a chapter without a cliffie. I just can't! But luckily you know I won't take that long to update, cos I'm addicted like that :D so, thank you for reading and review if you feel like it or if you have any suggestions or if you just want to tell me how much you liked it and if something was extra funny/random/weird, ya know the drill :P