Fishstick

Kurenai shook her head as she guided her grumbling and very drunk friend out the door. "Y'know wah? I hate Ka... Ka... senpai!" he declared loud enough for half the bar to hear.

"Yes, yes, I know." She wondered how Kakashi was fairing with the fondling, obviously sex starved Iruka. She wouldn't be surprised if the man tried to strip before her dear husband got him safely out of the bar. The thought /almost/ made her wish she was taking the other home. He had a very nice body, and she wasn't above looking, especially under the guise of helping. Not that Tenzou was unattractive. She just didn't see him making the same attempt any time soon. The man was more of a bitchy drunk.

"I hate him!" Tenzou said again, pointing blindly at the sky as though to emphasize the declaration.

'Oh well, might as well have some fun of my own,' she decided. "And, why do you hate him, Tenzou?"

"Cuz... uh..." Tenzou stopped and stared down at his feet, wobbling even with her supporting him.

"Did he do something you didn't like?" Kakashi had told her his suspicions; and, while she was inclined to believe him, it wouldn't hurt to confirm the information. Tenzou stared at her for a moment, as though trying to remember what it was his senpai had done. "Did he take your Iruka-kun?" She asked ever so helpfully.

"Shouldn't of taken him," he slurs, nodding in agreement with her.

Kurenai pulled the man forward again. "You're right. He's a mean, bad senpai for taking Iruka-kun from you," she snickered, not bothering to hide it, knowing Tenzou wasn't likely to notice in his inebriated state. "But, why does it matter if he takes Iruka-kun from you?"

"Shhh..." The drunken man slurred as he tried to press a finger to his lips and missed, jabbing himself in the cheek. "Ow..." He stared at the finger, as though it was his hand’s fault that he poked himself, then looked back at her as though he'd remembered something. "Issa secret."

"A secret?" Kurenai asked, snickering and wondering why it was such a secret. Especially, since it was such a badly kept one.

"Yeshhhh... shhh..." He played with the sound until it actually began to grate on her nerves, and she yanked him forward.

"Focus. Why is it a secret?" She wasn't grinding her teeth, clenching them a little, but definitely not grinding.

"Cuz... cuz he dozzin know," Tenzou smiled dreamily.

"Know what?" Kurenai prodded. It wasn't that she didn't already know, but she really wanted to hear the man actually say it.

"Uh..." He stared at her, blinking for a moment, and then grinned and began singing, very off key.

"Definitely should have made Kakashi take Tenzou home. Damn ANBU and their inability to spill secrets when drunk." She pouted and bemoaned her misfortune as Tenzou changed songs halfway through.

-----

"Rise And Shine Beautiful!" Kurenai yelled, in her best imitation of Gai. She threw in a good guy pose, or, well, girl as the case may be, a moment before she flung open the curtains. The kunoichi dodged the three wood kunai aimed her way. "Wakey, Wakey Eggs and Bakey!"

Tenzou glared at her with his creepy eyes look and she shuddered. It was surprisingly more effective when the man was hung over.

"Now, now, Tenzou-kun, you have to meet with Kakashi in an hour. You should be grateful I woke you up!" She wasn't about to tell him what it was for. Her husband could deal with the two men. After all, it was his idea. "I /even/ made you breakfast! Western style, too!"

"Urgh..." He rolled over in an attempt to ignore her.

'That won't do... I'm not done having my fun yet,' Kurenai thought before disappearing from the room for a moment, only to return with a frying pan. "If you don't get up, you won't have time to eat!" She kept her tone perky and as loud as was humanly possible. Really having Gai and Shizune for friends had subtle advantages.

It was a matter of mere seconds before a rather naked Tenzou streaked from the bed to the bathroom, the door slamming behind him. The dark-haired woman stood against the door licking her lips, and reminiscing about how much fun it had been to get the man naked. He'd put up a good fight, for a drunk man. Unfortunately for him, genjutsu worked surprisingly well on the inebriated mind. It had been such a nice show, too, and the quick morning flash had brought it perfectly to the surface all over again.

"I hope you like your eggs runny; I couldn't seem to get your stove to work properly!"

---------

"I'm glad you guys made it." Kakashi patted two men on the head, both of which groaned and glared at him. "I have a mission for the two of you."

"Get somebody else," Iruka growled.

"Aw... but I can only trust you two with this particular mission. Besides, you don't get a choice." He grinned and sat on the edge of his desk. "Sometimes, I really /love/ being Hokage."

"I think, if we work together, we can kill him," Tenzou muttered, resting his head in his hands.

Iruka closed his eyes and slumped back in the chair. "Okay, you start... use that super fancy cage thing of yours. I'll... I'll just not move for a minute."

"It's a fun mission, and you get to do it together!" Kakashi stood and walked over to the door to help his wife inside, taking Obito and several bags out of her arms.

"UNKIE TWEE!" The two-year-old squealed, a moment before she launched herself at the chair the man was sitting in.

"Now, we expect you to take very good care of them while we're gone," Kakashi said as he plopped the infant into Iruka's lap. Obito immediately began crying, the wet diaper leaking slightly where it pressed against the man's leg.

"I hate you," Tenzou growled at the silver-haired man, who was currently piling diaper bags and other 'necessities' around the two men. Unfortunately, Rin, being two, misunderstood and thought that her 'unkie twee' was talking to her and burst into tears.

"I didn't mean you, please, stop crying," he began pleading with the little girl. It didn't seem to be working anymore than Iruka's feeble attempts to get Obito to stop.

"We'll be back in two weeks, have fun!" And, before either man could protest, the couple disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"I'm going to kill him when he gets back," Iruka muttered. This, of course, only served to set Rin off in another round of tears.