Teach Me To Love You

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: M for now, will go up
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 6 of 15(?)
Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I
do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Teach Me To Love You
by nayru-kleinefee


Chapter 6 – Where’s the first one?

“Explain”, Kakashi ordered briskly the moment the bathroom door shut behind Iruka in the morning. “What were you doing on my place?”

“Sleeping.” Pakkun rolled his eyes. “What did it look like?”

“You never liked to be touched.” He’d once become Puggy Killing Machine when Gai had only suggested he could scratch his ears.

“You neither”, the pug gave back.

“Well, I like it when Iruka touches me”, Kakashi snapped.

“There you have it.” Pakkun snorted. “I like that, too.”

“But why him?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” Pakkun sighed. “Seriously, boss, I can’t say what’s so special about him. It’s just… him.”

“Yes…” Kakashi shook his head. “You’re right. He’s special.”

“I didn’t want him to… cuddle me at first, really.” Pakkun made a face. “I mean, cuddling? And he didn’t try to, not at all. But somehow… well, he invited me to sit on the couch with him to watch TV or he asked me whether I wanted to sit with him in the kitchen while he was cooking, and somehow…”

“Somehow it became nice”, Kakashi whispered. He knew that, knew already how Iruka seemed to be able to crawl under every defense, underneath reluctance and hesitance.

“Very nice”, Pakkun agreed. “He gives good belly rubs. I say we keep him.”

“Hey!” The Jounin glared at him. “You’ll not stay here now I’m back!” His place!

“Cheapskate”, Pakkun growled.

“My place.” Kakashi glared more.

“You’re not again arguing about that, are you?”, Iruka sighed suddenly.

“We just sorted everything out”, Kakashi assured hastily.

“Whatever.” Iruka smiled. “Pakkun, would you like to stay for breakfast? Apple pancakes?”

“Of course.” The pug grinned.

“Hey, they’re my-” Kakashi broke off at a stern look from the Chuunin. “Sorry.”

“What have I got myself into?”, Iruka sighed but then smiled and bent down to kiss the Copy-nin softly.

*****

“Both my parents were Jounin”, Iruka said suddenly, flipping a pancake over. “It had always been my dream to become one, too, when I was a kid. And after… after they died, it became my mission, kind of. To make them proud.”

Kakashi just nodded, a little surprised that Iruka seemed to have decided to tell him something like that.

“I was fifteen when I became Chuunin”, Iruka said the moment he’d finished the last pancake and sat down opposite from Kakashi and Pakkun on the kitchen table. “Just like in school, I had trained and learned my ass off while pretending to be dead last of my class and passed the exams rather easily, so I was told that I could try Jounin the same year. It was only three years after Kyuubi and the village was still short on high-ranking shinobi, therefore things went much faster in those matters.”

“Tournament or mission?”, Kakashi asked. Chuunin could become Jounin by passing a tournament not unlike the Chuunin exams or by accomplishing a very dangerous mission. He’d done the latter. More than once before he’d been promoted, to be precise.

“Tournament.” Iruka took a sip of his water and turned around to the window to give Kakashi the privacy to pull down his mask and eat. “It was held in the Forest of Death and just the same as the second round of Naruto’s Chuunin exams. Only with more contestants and higher rank. We had to get a light and a dark scroll and then keep them and stay alive until the time was up. There was no ending it by entering the tower and no other rules. We were told that everything that happened in the forest stayed in the forest.”

“How long did you have to stay there?”

“Two weeks.”

“That’s long.”

“M-hm.” Iruka sighed. “I stole the scroll I needed in the first night from somebody. I didn’t even need to injure him, just to throw sleeping powder over him. And then I hid for the next eight days or so.”

“Clever”, Kakashi said.

“I thought so, too. Nobody found me, nobody knew I was there. One night a Suna Chuunin even camped right in front of my hiding place without seeing me. I’ve always been talented at controlling and masking my chakra, my whole family’s always been. That’s been my greatest advantage, also in the Chuunin exams and on missions. My opponents always underestimated me until it was too late.”

“So you passed the Jounin exams easily, too.”

“I probably would have.” Iruka sighed. It sounded bitter. “On the tenth night I heard screams not far away. Not fighting screams, screams of utter terror and pain. I couldn’t stand it. I had to go and look. I thought maybe somebody was attacked by a forest animal and I could help.”

“What was happening?”, Kakashi asked instead of telling the Chuunin that leaving a safe hideout wasn’t a good idea, never.

“I… I kept hiding as much as I could while I crawled closer until I could look through a bush.” Iruka swallowed hard. “There was… there was a Konoha Chuunin I knew. He had captured a female Chuunin from Wave.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He thought he knew what had happened.

“She was screaming. She was barely alive anymore but she was still screaming.” Iruka swallowed again. “And he… he was cutting her skin, her face and burning her arms and breasts with fire jutsus. While he raped her.” The Chuunin’s hands started trembling. “Her left hand… all fingers were missing… and… and her skin… there was barely anything left that wasn’t black… and… and…”

“Iruka.” Kakashi reached out and took the Chuunin’s hand. He noticed that even Pakkun looked sick. And the thought of what Iruka had seen was sickening, not because they hadn’t seen even worse things – they had, and how they had – but because it felt so very bad to imagine that Iruka had had to see it, Iruka who belonged to light and warmth and laughter, not to violence, cruelty and death.

“It’s alright”, Iruka whispered but squeezed the Copy-nin’s hand. “It’s alright.” He took a deep breath. “I was… I was petrified. And angry suddenly, so angry. He was a Konoha Chuunin, just like me, and still he… he… I drew a kunai, jumped out of the bushes and yelled at him to stop it. He just laughed and drew a shuriken. Obviously, he underestimated me and thought I was an easy prey. I dodged the shuriken and slammed the blade through his throat before he could try again. Then I lifted the girl up and took her to my hideout. I tended to her wounds the best as I could and then tried to keep her alive until we would be able to leave the forest.”

“That was very brave, Iruka”, Kakashi said softly. For a human. And very stupid for a shinobi, but he didn’t say that.

“It was stupid.” Iruka shook his head fiercely. “When she could speak again, she begged me to kill her. She said she didn’t want to live anymore. I… I couldn’t do it. I kept telling her that everything would be alright. But she didn’t stop begging…”

“It wasn’t your fault”, Pakkun said softly.

“I know. I know.” Iruka took a shaking breath. “I kept telling her how everything would be fine again, how I would take her outside and how she would get healed and all that. And she stopped to beg for her death. I thought… I thought she believed me even though I couldn’t believe me myself. And then… and then on the last night… she took one of my kunai when I didn’t look and slit her own throat.” The Chuunin choked. “She died in my arms.”

“It was her decision, Iruka”, Kakashi choked out while he tried to force his own memories down, memories of a blade and blood and a cold body and- He shook his head.

“I know…” Tears ran down the Chuunin’s cheeks. “Sandaime-sama said so, too. But still… She killed herself… because of something a Konoha shinobi had done to her. One of my comrades. I’d thought that we were the good ones up to that day. I had believed in us.”

Kakashi knew that there was nothing he could say. He’d already seen too much in his life to try to convince Iruka that they were ‘the good ones’.

“I didn’t want to become a Jounin”, Iruka whispered. “They offered the promotion to me because I had collected both scrolls and back in those days that was enough, apparently. But I didn’t want it. I even didn’t want to be a shinobi anymore. But Sandaime-sama didn’t let me retreat. He said that I should go back to school and be a teaching assistant until I would have calmed down. He accepted my decision not to become Jounin though.”

“He was right to make you stay and go to the Academy”, Kakashi said softly. “Who would teach the kids if not you? Who would have been able to tame Naruto?”

“Yes.” Iruka smiled a little and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Yes, I know. I refused to see it back then but he was right. I wanted to leave for the wrong reasons. I was fearing to one day become like that man, you know. I had lost faith in myself and in shinobi in general, but I was wrong. There was still the village, there were still those who served faithfully and without finding pleasure in another’s pain. It wouldn’t have been right to let a single bastard make me abandon my duty for my village.”

“Come here.” Kakashi held out his arms until Iruka settled down on his lap, chuckling softly.

“I’m such a cry-baby”, the Chuunin murmured. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry”, Kakashi whispered. He didn’t know why, but seeing Iruka cry made him feel warm. It hurt, too, very much even. But still it felt warm to know that there was somebody who cried for those who couldn’t cry anymore.

“My… my second chance to become Jounin…”, Iruka started.

“You don’t have to do this”, Kakashi told him softly.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Iruka smiled a little. “I want you to know.”

“Okay.” Kakashi tightened his embrace.

“The second time it was a mission two years later. There was no Jounin available although it was an A, so I was called. Sandaime-sama told me that I could be promoted to Jounin if I made it. I accepted. I had made up my mind and decided that if I became Jounin, I could protect the ones I cared about better.” Iruka took a deep breath. “It was an assassination mission.”

“You shouldn’t have accepted it”, Kakashi murmured. Iruka was able to kill if forced to, physically and mentally, he didn’t doubt that. But Iruka couldn’t be a cold-blooded assassin, Kakashi refused to accept that.

“But I did. And I went in search for my target and found him rather easily and then… I hesitated.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I had already killed that Chuunin at the exams and I knew that my target was a dangerous criminal, a murderer, robber and rapist, but this was different still. I… I wasn’t… I felt as if I would step down to his level if I just killed him. So I… I left my cover and approached him.”

“Iruka, that-”

“I know”, the Chuunin interrupted sharply. “I know that it was stupid and that I was risking my life and the mission’s success, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was going back and leaving that man to murder and rape more until somebody else would find him, or fighting him.” He shook his head. “I was ready to die back then. But for the wrong reasons. Not to protect my friends and village but to calm my conscience. I was so incredibly stupid.”

“What happened?”, Kakashi asked softly.

“I had my chakra masked as much as possible and pretended to be a civilian lost on my way to the next village. He immediately offered to take me there and then presumably tried to overpower me in a small forest. I fought him, let him injure me on purpose to lure him even more into a false sense of security and then waited for an opening and killed him. And my conscience was quiet. Until I found his… captives.” Iruka swallowed hard. “They… they… to say that he had tortured them doesn’t even remotely describe what they had had to endure. He had done to them what… what had happened to the woman in the forest, and even more. Even… more…”

“Iruka.” Kakashi started to gently stroke the trembling Chuunin’s back, trying to reassure him. He saw that Pakkun came over and settled down on Iruka’s lap, rubbing his nose against his hand. And slowly, his boyfriend calmed down.

“They were… both conscious. A man and… and a woman, almost a child still… The man… the man begged me to end his life…” Iruka took a shaking breath. “I… I was so afraid that what had happened at the Jounin exams would happen again, but still I couldn’t kill him with my own hands, so… I gave him a small bottle of poison that would kill him without inflicting pain on him. I told him that he would have to kill himself because I couldn’t do it. And I was hoping that maybe he wouldn’t dare…” The Chuunin swallowed hard. “He took the poison without any hesitance. He just… he just opened the bottle, drank it and then closed his eyes and waited. I felt so sick back then, seeing him die, so useless. I felt… so…”

“Shh…”, Kakashi whispered.

“And then I tried to take the girl to Konoha with me, I thought I could at least save her. But she died after half of the way back…”

“Iru-”

“And… and do you know what? I think I could have saved the man”, Iruka sobbed. “I think… I think I could have saved him if I hadn’t…”

“He had already given up”, Kakashi whispered thickly. “You couldn’t have saved him.”

“Maybe.” Iruka laughed bitterly. “I will never know, now will I?” He shook his head. “I went back to Konoha after I had buried the girl. And again I was offered to become Jounin. Sandaime-sama wasn’t happy, but after all, I had completed the mission.”

“But you didn’t want to.”

“No.” Iruka shook his head. “The man… the man who had begged me to kill him… he had been a Jounin. And that made me afraid. I was afraid that I would one day go on a mission and something would happen that would make me beg for my death. The thought frightened me. So I refused to become promoted, but again not because of the right reasons. I was again only thinking of myself. The first time I had been afraid that I could become a monster one day and the second time that I could become a victim.” He smiled sadly. “But again Sandaime-sama understood and accepted my decision and then slowly opened my eyes until I understood, too.”

“The old man was smart”, Kakashi murmured fondly. He’d always admired the Third Hokage, and now that he knew that the old man had cared so much about Iruka, he did it even more.

“He was.” Iruka smiled again, then nuzzled his face in the Jounin’s clothed neck and started to gently stroke Pakkun’s back. “With his help, I refused to become Jounin for the right reasons when they asked me for the third time.”

“What happened?”, Kakashi asked curiously but regretted it immediately when Iruka tensed suddenly against him.

“I… I don’t think I can tell you that yet”, he whispered. “Not what happened.”

“That’s fine”, Kakashi assured. “You don’t have to.”

“But my reasons…” Iruka looked up and smiled at him. “My reasons were that I finally saw that I’m good at what I’m doing. I’m a good teacher and a good Chuunin. I help my Hokage to keep this village working and I teach my students as good as I can to make sure that whatever they do after school, they’ll be prepared for it. I understand that I shouldn’t throw that away only to become an unstable, doubting Jounin and maybe a risk for those around me. Sandaime-sama taught me to be proud of what I am.”

“I’m happy that you are who and what you are”, Kakashi whispered hoarsely. And he was relieved, so very relieved about that. This Iruka, this laughing, happy, sure, warm Iruka was able to love him. He doubted that he would have been able to do so if he had become a Jounin.

“Me too.” Iruka bent down and kissed him sweetly.

***** ***** *****

“Again?” Iruka sighed deeply.

“What’s wrong?”, Kakashi asked, slightly concerned.

“Nothing serious.” His boyfriend smiled softly. “Anko just sent a note asking for help with renovate her apartment. She wants new tapestries in her living room. Again. She’s only just had the old ones for maybe three months.”

“Then what’s wrong with them now?”

“Nothing probably. That’s Anko for you.” Iruka shrugged. “Ever pulled off tapestries from a wall and put new ones on it?”

“Nope. But can try.”

“We all only ever do.” Iruka laughed. “And afterwards we more often than not get so drunk we all have to sleep on her floor.”

“That’s not good”, Kakashi told him. Who knew what could happen? Somebody could decide to attack or to blow up the apartment complex or… or…

“Oh, but this time I have you to carry me home to my bed.” Iruka smirked, came over and embraced him. “Looking forward to it.”

Kakashi somehow didn’t.

*****

What had Iruka got him into? Kakashi warily glanced from Genma trying to grope Raidou’s butt to Raidou trying who-knew-why to fill dried peas he’d found who-knew-where through the opening of an empty beer can to Iruka and Anko trying to push each other against the new tapestries and blowing raspberries at each other. And that while everything had seemed so… normal only minutes ago.

“Kasashi.”

That was another thing bothering him. Iruka didn’t seem to remember his name anymore. “Yes?”

“Wannagohome?”, the Chuunin slurred.

“I really think you should.” Kakashi stood up from his crouch in a corner of Anko’s living room, always taking care of not touching the fresh tapestries, and carefully helped his boyfriend to his feet.

“Ruka’sh drunk!”, Anko shouted, giggling.

“Mnot!”, Iruka snorted, snuggling against the Copy-nin’s chest. “Am shnuggly wish my Katashi.”

“Kakashi”, the Jounin corrected.

“Kapathi.”

“Kakashi.”

“Ka… ka… phiii.”

“Kakashi.”

“Ka… shi?”

“Good enough.” He sighed and carefully helped his boyfriend into his sandals. “Want to walk?”

“Yup!” Iruka beamed at him. “Walllk wish my Kashi unda se shtarsh.”

“Okay…” The Copy-nin nodded goodbye at the other drunken shinobi, ducked his head quickly when Iruka waved enthusiastically and then walked them both out of the apartment onto the street.

“No shtarsh.” Iruka pouted at the cloudy sky.

“You’ll probably see enough stars tomorrow”, Kakashi murmured, earning himself a giggling fit. “You shouldn’t get so drunk, really, Iruka.”

“Don’ do id oftennn”, the Chuunin told him. “An’ only iffIfeel shafe.” He sighed and cuddled closer to him. “Feel shafe wish you.”

“That makes me happy, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered softly and stopped them in their swaying walk. “I know you don’t need it but I want to always protect you.”

“Wan’ tha’ too.” Iruka sighed again, his body slumping a little.

“Sleepy?”, Kakashi whispered.

“M-hmmm…”

“Want me to jutsu you into your bed?” By now he had to hold his boyfriend up so he stayed on his feet.

“Mrrrh…”

“Okay, I’ll take that as approval. And do you think you can drink something before you fall asleep?”

“Nomosake.”

Kakashi chuckled. “I mean some water or maybe tea? So sake’s not the only thing in your stomach?”

“Cn try.” Iruka yawned. “Bunnopromsh.”

Kakashi quickly translated that into not-drunk. “But no promise?”

“Mr-mmmh…”

“Alright. But you’ll probably thank me tomorrow if I manage.”

“Mrrrrrrh…”

*****

“Stop laughing.”

“I’m not laughing”, Kakashi assured.

“Are. Meanie.”

Kakashi chuckled. “More water?”

“So I can fall over my own feet once again on my next trip to the bathroom?”, Iruka grumped.

“You only miscalculated the length of your steps”, the Jounin offered.

“Meanie. Get me another painkiller.”

“Instantly.” Kakashi bowed. This was… not really fun, but… well, it was entertaining, he had to admit.

“And… Kakashi?”

“Yes?”

Iruka sighed. “Could you go take a look at Gen, Rai and Anko? Just make sure…”

“They’re all safe and sound and hungover, just like you.” Kakashi smiled at him softly. “I went to look at them while you slept.”

Iruka smiled tiredly. “Thank you, you’re wonderful. I love you. Even though you’re a meanie and laughed about me when I fell on my butt just now.”

“Want to love you. Even though you don’t remember my name anymore when you’re drunk.”

“I remembered it. I just couldn’t tell my tongue.”

“Just like you couldn’t tell your feet right now to keep you upright?” Kakashi laughed when he quickly dodged the pillow thrown at him.

***** ***** *****

“Know what?”

Kakashi smirked under his mask. He’d found out in the last weeks that Iruka always started a conversation with ‘know what?’ if he’d either found out something about either of them, wanted to tell him some ridiculously unimportant but nevertheless funny and interesting tidbit of information he’d picked up somewhere or had decided to let him participate in some hilarious wisdom he’d discovered for some reason or other and that never ceased to make him laugh. It always made his lips curl at the prospect of either of those whenever he heard his boyfriend say, ‘know what?’

“What?”, he asked, just as he was supposed to do.

“You know, when you wear socks”, Iruka started, wiggling his feet that were indeed hidden in rainbow-coloured, striped socks with even each toe separately in its own little piece of cotton wool.

“I don’t wear socks”, Kakashi chuckled. He preferred slippers but his boyfriend absolutely favoured warm socks when at home – the more colourful the better. And toe-socks were his all-time favourites. The Copy-nin suspected it was because he could slide around on them in the kitchen and the bathroom. He only ever did it when he thought Kakashi wasn’t watching though.

“You really should.” Iruka wiggled his toes again. “I know where you can get some like these in your size.”

“Pakkun would laugh.”

“Hm…” Iruka poked him in his side with one of his toes. “You both don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Was that what you wanted to tell me?”, Kakashi asked, took the foot gently and started to massage it.

“Nope.” Iruka sighed happily. “I wanted to tell you that if you wear socks and then pull them off your feet again, then there sometimes are those small… bits in between your toes, you know?”

“Okay…”

“It’s just bits of cotton wool, it’s nothing eew”, Iruka told him.

“It’s still weird.”

“However.” The second foot poked him and demanded the same attention as the first which was granted immediately. “I thought about it and I think there’s no name for those bits, you know?”

“So you made up a name?”, Kakashi guessed, chuckling.

“Yup.”

“What is it?”

“Sock vomit.”

***** ***** *****

Kakashi hummed a little. He didn’t know why though, he couldn’t remember ever having done that before, but now… Somehow knowing that he was about to see Iruka soon was making him want to hum. Weird…

But however, Iruka’s shift was almost over and from what he’d seen through the window of the mission room, there was nobody occupying him. So no reason why he shouldn’t start spending time with him immediately, yes, ye-

No!

Kakashi barely kept himself from growling when he saw Ebisu enter the mission room right before him. Damn. That guy was going to take Iruka’s time away. He hadn’t even seen the Copy-nin, so he would probably take long. Mrph.

“Iruka-sensei?”, he heard Ebisu say and decided to wait outside the room for the other man to leave again. He didn’t like the Special Jounin much because that man had never bothered to hide the fact that he didn’t like Naruto.

“Ebisu-sensei.” Hm, Iruka sounded as if he also wasn’t all happy about seeing the Special Jounin.

“Iruka-sensei, I must inform you that somebody is spreading rumours about you.”

“Really? And what could that be, do tell?” The Chuunin sounded less than interested.

“It is said that you were dating Hatake Kakashi.”

Kakashi growled softly. That Ebisu didn’t need to sound so angry, disgusted almost.

“Oh, then you don’t have to worry, Ebisu-sensei.” Kakashi peeked around the doorframe and saw Iruka smile softly. “Because those aren’t rumours.”

“They aren’t?!”, the other man gasped.

“They aren’t.” Iruka stood up from his chair. “And if you would excuse me now, my shift is over and I will be meeting my boyfriend.”

“You can’t seriously consider dating him!”

Kakashi growled again. Since when was that Ebisu’s decision?

“I don’t consider that”, Iruka said calmly. “I’m doing it. And I’m not going to ask anybody for permission, least of all you.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Why not?” Iruka arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Just think about his reputation!”

“I do.” The Chuunin tilted his head to the side. “He’s considered to be a capable shinobi and a very trustworthy and caring friend.” He smiled and warmed Kakashi’s chest with that.

“He’s unstable and a killer”, Ebisu snarled.

Kakashi flinched. He didn’t want Iruka to think about that.

“He’s a Jounin”, Iruka just said. “Doing his job to protect the village. Us”, he added icily.

“He… he… he’s a man!”, Ebisu shouted.

To Kakashi’s surprise, Iruka smirked cruelly. “Ah, now we’re reaching the main point, aren’t we?”

“Iruka-sensei, you-”

“You think I shouldn’t be with him because we’re both men?”, Iruka asked, his voice cold and sharp as ice. “I can’t remember homosexuality bothering you when you tried to get me drunk enough to have your way with me some months ago. Granted, you were rather drunk, too, but that’s no excuse.”

Kakashi froze. Then he attacked.

“You did what?!”, he yelled and grabbed Ebisu by his collar only split seconds after he’d entered the room. “How can you dare to try to… to do something with Iruka?!”

“Kakashi.” Iruka’s voice was soft.

“But he tried to… to…”

“He didn’t succeed”, Iruka told him softly and gently placed his hand on the Jounin’s tense arm. “I’m not as stupid as he thinks I am and Anko, Genma and Raidou were there, too.”

“I never tried-” Ebisu yelped when Kakashi threw him away from him. Away from Iruka, more importantly.

“If you ever dare to try to touch him again”, he forced out through gritted teeth, “I will kill you.” He didn’t really know what ‘having his way’ would have meant, but it didn’t sound nice, not at all. It even sounded as if it would have hurt Iruka. Nobody was allowed to hurt Iruka, nobody, nobody, nobody! And nobody but him was allowed to touch Iruka.

“I… you… I will inform the Hokage about this”, Ebisu stammered while he scrambled to his feet. “You had no right to attack me.”

“Do that”, Iruka told him softly before Kakashi could voice more threats. “But keep in mind that you won’t be the only one informing her about something then.” He took the Copy-nin’s trembling hand in his. “Oh, and don’t forget to tell her that I am dating another man. I’m sure that she will be delighted to hear your opinion in that matter.”

“You… you…” Ebisu closed his mouth, stood up and straightened his clothes. “I will… I will…” He growled and hastily left.

“Have you been here the whole time?”, Iruka asked softly, stroking over Kakashi’s hand with his thumb.

“Yes.” The Jounin turned towards him and embraced him tightly.

“Rumours about us dating… Has taken some time for them to leave the Academy…” Iruka chuckled softly and placed his head on his shoulder. “Funny. Since we haven’t even had what is normally considered a date yet.” He lifted his head again. “But I must say that I don’t mind the rumours.”

“Why not?”, Kakashi asked. “What if more people like him come and try to hurt you?”

“Don’t care.” Iruka kissed him. “As long as those rumours keep people from trying to hit on you.” He smirked. “You’re all mine, dates or not.”

Kakashi nodded. But still… dates…

***** ***** *****

“We already have many.” Kakashi let his eye travel over the dozens of stones with holes lying on one of Iruka’s cupboards.

“Please don’t stop searching though.” Iruka took his hand. “I have still much space left for more.”

“Okay.” Kakashi just wanted to turn to him and embrace him when he noticed something missing. “Where’s the first one?” The small, cream-coloured one with the white line on it?

“Oh, you noticed.” Iruka blushed a little. “It’s… it’s on my bedside table. Between the photographs of Naruto and of my parents.” He hid his face in the Jounin’s chest. “I wanted to have it close…”

“Oh.” Kakashi embraced him tightly.

***** ***** *****

“You want to know about the Wonder of Youth that is Youthful Dating, my Eternal Rival?! I am sure you want to test my Honourable Knowledge about the Secrets of Love in your Hip and Modern Attitude! But I will Proudly tell you everything I know about the Tender Bonding that-”

“Great, Gai, I see you know everything. I’m impressed. Bye.” He would better find out himself, really.

***** ***** *****

“What is it you’re singing?”, Kakashi whispered although he was reluctant to break the spell.

“Hm?” Iruka blinked and stopped. “Oh, that. It’s a lullaby my mother used to sing for me. Do you like it?”

“Very much.” Kakashi turned his head on his boyfriend’s lap and snuggled his face into his stomach. “Please sing more.”

“I could sing something else for you”, Iruka offered. “Some other lullaby if you want.”

“I don’t know any.”

“Did your mother never sing any for you?” Hands started to stroke over his hair.

“My mother…” Kakashi couldn’t help but tense. “She died during my birth.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Iruka tenderly massaged his scalp. “That must have been hard for you and your father.”

“I guess”, Kakashi murmured, tensing even more.

‘Sakumo-san, please. It’s not his fault. He’s just a child.’

‘I know. I don’t blame him, Hokage-sama.’

‘But Sakumo-san, you’ve changed. You’ve always been so happy before. You’ve been looking forward so much to his birth and now-’

‘Now she’s gone.’

‘Sakumo-sa-’

‘She was my laughter, my light. He’s my… my duty as a father. I will raise him to become strong and never… never experience the pain of loss. He’ll never suffer like I di-’

Kakashi gasped when suddenly a soft voice invaded his darkness, soft and gentle, chasing away the shadows. He blinked and turned his head to look up at Iruka’s face, seeing that his eyes were closed and his lips smiling softly while they formed syllable after syllable of the soothing melody. His hands trembling slightly, he wrapped his arms around Iruka’s waist and held him close, determined to never let go again.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

tbc

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Nayru