Hunger

Disclaimer: 'Naruto' belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Warnings: yaoi, INCEST, AU.
Pairings: At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.
Note: Thoughts are in italics.

A/N: I drew a picture (spoiler?) about this chapter, see my profile for link.

Chapter 6: Reaching out

Gaara laid on top of Naruto, looking daggers at him. His jade eyes were cold as steel as he studied the boy beneath him.

He loosened his grip on Naruto's throat but didn't let go of his wrist. The redhead was more than annoyed that he had been awakened with a manner like that. He was angry at himself too, for letting his guard down.

He had been in a deep, relaxing sleep, a state he was rarely in. He had been dreaming of laughter and for some odd reason, of ramen. The dream had suddenly turned into a nightmare where Kankuro had come into his darkened room and lurked around his bed, laughing insanely. The brunette had stroked the redhead's face when the nightmare had suddenly ended.

At then Gaara had felt a light touch on his face and had acted instinctively, not at first realizing he wasn't in danger but at Naruto's home. He hoped he hadn't spoken in his sleep.

"Don't do that ever again," the redhead said, moving his head closer to Naruto and clenching the boy's wrist as if emphasizing his words.

Gulping, Naruto nodded. He felt like he was drowning into those endless pools of greenness. The face he had often secretly dreamed of was now so close to his own. Did Gaara even know how attractive he was?

The blond knew it was not a good idea to be thinking things like that at the moment but he couldn't help it. The pressure of Gaara's body against his own was too distracting. He was afraid that his hormones would get the better of him. He had to get away from under Gaara before the other boy would feel something hard pressing against his hips.

"You can let me go now, you know," Naruto said, trying to struggle away.

Gaara's eyes darkened as he leaned more heavily against the blond. "Not before you tell me what you were up to!" the redhead growled angrily.

Just what the hell was wrong with people? Why did they have to intrude his personal space and touch him when he didn't want it? Why were people trying to get advantage of him, like his brother and now perhaps Naruto, too? Why?

With lots of effort, Gaara had managed to create walls around him, a mask, to keep people away from hurting him. Gaara gritted his teeth. He had approved now that Naruto was his friend, the only friend he had ever made. He was afraid the blond would turn out to be a person who only wanted to use him.

"I'm sorry... I just... You looked so... be- I mean peaceful when you slept. I just wanted to touch your skin... It looked so soft," Naruto stuttered, embarrased. He had almost said out loud that Gaara looked beautiful! He had to be more careful with his words because he didn't want to scare the redhead away.

Confusion crossed the green eyes. "Why would you want to touch my skin?" the redhead asked, perplexed.

Naruto looked shyly at him but didn't answer. Begging Gaara to let him go, the blond made another attempt to get up. Gaara let him sit up but held his wrist still as if wanting to make sure Naruto wouldn't try to do anything funny. Seeing the green eyes still held a look of cautiousness the blond only smiled gently, moving his hand to Gaara's face.

"This is why..." Naruto spoke in a calm and kind voice as he stroked the redhead's cheeck and jawline, taking in every inch of the creamy softness.

Gaara recoiled at the gesture, yet the touch felt warm and friendly. In a strange way it felt natural to him whose world was full of unnaturalness. Thoughts started to spin around in his mind. Why did the touch feel so comfortable instead of feeling wrong? Why hadn't he punched the blond into oblivion already? Was this... friendship? Was this what friendship felt like?

Naruto looked at the boy, amazed at his reaction to the touch. Gaara's skin felt cool against his warm hand. To him, Gaara looked like he was in some kind of rapture, hungry for tokens of tenderness. Suddenly the blond's throat felt very dry, as well as his lips.

The redhead flinched as flashes of his brother and the recent nightmare crossed his mind. In a second he was back to earth again, realizing what was happening. Naruto was touching him. Angrily, he shoved the blond away. He stared at the other boy like a wild animal, touching his cheek with his fingertips as if that particular spot was aching.

"What the hell was that?" Gaara spat, green eyes reflecting nothing but confusion. He wasn't sure if he had shot the question at himself or at Naruto.

"Huh? Wha—" Naruto started but didn't have a chance to finish the sentence.

"Did you think I'd be so easy?" the redhead continued in a dangerously low voice as he crept towards Naruto, ready to grip the boy's front and punch him through the wall.

"No, you've got it all wrong!" a perplexed Naruto quickly defended, not letting his face show the slight fear that he now felt for the furious redhead. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction from him. What could possibly be wrong with such an innocent touch?

Gaara gripped the blond's front and stared at him with a murderous intent. "You only wanted to get advantage of me while I was sleeping!" he growled. Did the blond somehow see that he was used to being subdued? Was that why the boy had tried to get to him?

"No I—" the blond squeaked until he was cut off again by the redhead's outburst.

"You just try to use me!" Gaara shouted, clenching his fist as he yanked the blond with his other hand. The only thing that prevented him from hitting was the memory of warmness and secure he had felt last night with Naruto. It couldn't all be a trick to get his guard down, now could it?

"No I didn't! I'd never do that, Gaara!" Naruto yelled, not wanting a fist mark on his face. "What's wrong with touching your cheek? Can't a friend do it? I thought it would be perfectly okay! Look, I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to," Naruto babbled quickly as he stared into the scary, homicidal green eyes.

"Perfectly okay, huh?" Gaara asked. He had heard those words before. He hated it when he now saw Kankuro when he looked at the blond. "For you it's perfectly okay..." the redhead muttered as his anger rose higher. For a moment he seriously thought he'd beat the blond up since he couldn't do that to his brother.

"I thought it would be okay for you too," Naruto said, trying to stay calm under the piercing stare of the angry redhead. "I wouldn't use you. You're my friend, Gaara..." he then continued. He really hoped that this would settle things.

When nothing happened, the blond started to get desperate. He was usually good with words and was disappointed when they didn't seem to have any effect. He would certainly not fight with Gaara, not in a situation like this.

"Oh come on! Just punch me then if it makes you feel better. Maybe I deserve it..." Naruto whispered, resorting to the words again. This time, he could see that the redhead's anger was subsiding even though the grip on his shirt didn't loosen.

"Why should I trust you?" Gaara asked. In some level, he knew he could trust the blond a little. Naruto was a person who radiated honesty and trustworthiness, you could see it from his eyes.

"Because we are friends," Naruto said in a calm voice. "That is, if I didn't screw everything up..." he continued and lowered his head. Right now he didn't feel like seeing the jade green orbs. He was afraid what he might see in them.

At the words Gaara let go of the shirt and retreated a couple of inches. He hugged his knees, not looking at Naruto but the wall in front of him. Maybe he had overreacted? It wouldn't be surprising if he was paranoid by now - living with Kankuro would surely make that possible. Being honest to himself, he hadn't been repulsed at the closeness of the blond. Somehow it had felt much less questionnable than when he was with his brother.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said, not looking at the boy next to him.

"Huh...? I... I'm sorry, too," Naruto answered, surprised that the redhead had apologized. Well, the grumpy boy had almost punched him into the face so maybe the apology wasn't too out of place.

"You don't know me," Gaara stated, still not meeting the blue eyes.

"Yeah, I don't. But that's why I'm getting to know you, right?" Naruto replied, grinning.

"Naruto..." the redhead whispered, finally looking at the deep blue eyes with a apologizing gaze. "I think I'd better go home. After all I didn't go back home last night and my brother might be worried," he continued. Even though Gaara was sure his brother knew he could take care of himself, he anticipated that Kankuro would fuss over him when he got back home.

"Yeah, your brother must be sick of worry. Sorry I didn't wake you up in the evening... You fell in a deep sleep so fast and I didn't dare to wake you up," Naruto said as he smiled shyly at his friend. Gaara always looked like he didn't get enough sleep and it worried Naruto. When the redhead had dozed off last night Naruto thought it would be cruel to not let him enjoy the obviously rare sleep.

"Nevermind. Actually, I haven't slept so well in ages," Gaara admitted, not yet willing to tell how cozy and safe he had felt in Naruto's presence. "I better get going if I don't want Kankuro to act like a mother hen when I get back home," the redhead said, the corners of his mouth curving up slightly.

Naruto's smile widened at the metaphor. He thought it was cute how Gaara's brother was so protective. For a brief moment he was a bit sad he didn't have anyone who'd look after him but quickly shook off the bitter thought.

Gaara got up from the bed and took his now dry clothes from the living room. He changed them on in the bathroom, mulling over what had just happened. The touch had been kind after all... He wondered if things like that would happen again. He wasn't even sure if he wanted it to be repeated. If he got too attached to the blond it could lead into problems.

Had he somehow encouraged Naruto to take deeper interest in him, or had the touch been just one between friends? He couldn't tell for sure. On the other hand, Naruto had told him they were friends, so that would mean the weak bond between them was one he could manage. He couldn't afford complicated relationships, they would become too difficult when his brother was around.

Besides to him, sexuality was a tender spot - it felt impure and wrong, yet wonderful and pleasant. He really hadn't had sexual feelings for anyone but Kankuro. He wasn't sure if he even could have... Should he distance himself from Naruto, making sure the blond wouldn't develop any deeper liking to him? But then again, a part of him liked to be around Naruto and didn't want to shoo the boy away.

In the hallway, Gaara took his bag from the floor and turned around to see Naruto. He gave the blond a wary look, unsure what to say. His own feelings were contradicting. Confusion was taking over his heart because he couldn't fully understand why Naruto had caressed him. To be honest he still didn't quite catch this friendship thing.

"Thanks for everything, Naruto. You're a very kind person," Gaara said, meaning every word.

"No problem," Naruto said smiling. "We're friends, right? Friends are kind to each other," he then added, smile widening.

"Yeah," Gaara replied. He didn't want to say aloud that he considered the blond as his friend but didn't deny Naruto's words, either. It was his way of showing that to him Naruto wasn't an annoying stranger anymore.

"Well, see you tomorrow morning then... I'll come to pick you up so that we can go to school... together," Gaara said. This was the first time he had suggested that. Earlier it had always been Naruto who had caught Gaara up on the way to school. Opening the front door, the redhead looked at Naruto one last time to see him grinning friendly.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow Gaara!" the blond sang out quickly before the front door clicked and he was left alone in the house.

Naruto had been sure the angry redhead would have punched him at least once but was positively surprised that he was left intact. He was ashamed he had clearly scared the redhead. Would their budding friendship end because of this? What if Gaara had felt repulsed? But he had looked like he enjoyed it... What if the redhead would change his mind, not appearing to Naruto's door in the morning?

What if, what if, what if... rang in Naruto's head and he groaned as the confusion was building up a headache for him. Rubbing his temples he strode to the kitchen to make some breakfast. The only thing that could get him out of this quicksand of uncertainty was the allmighty ramen. Yes, to the blond ramen was the solution for all of the world's problems, at least for the most of them.

-----

A couple of houses down the street Kankuro was sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast when his little brother arrived. Glancing up at him he tried to trace in what mood the redhead was. Gaara had been out all night after all and the brunette wondered what had prevented him from coming back home.

"Morning," Kankuro said, testing the waters.

Gaara only murmured something that distantly resembled 'morning' even though some kind of rare positive feeling was radiating from him. The brunette took a sip of his tea.

"Were you in Naruto's place all night?" he asked. After a small pause he continued again, "Did something happen or was it because of the downpour you didn't come home?"

Gaara sighed inwardly at the questions. He felt good yet confused but wasn't in the mood for sharing it with his brother. Avoiding the question, he only asked if there was any fresh coffee in the house.

Kankuro knew better than to push his brother at this matter. Even though Gaara didn't know it, the silence gave much more answers to the brunette than the redhead would have liked to.

"There's coffee in the pot. Pour some for me, too," the brunette said. He had just finished his tea and felt he was still in need for more caffeine. There was nothing better than black, refreshing coffee in the morning. Tea was also good but he had to drink it at least three cups to fully wake up.

Coffee was equally poured in two mugs. Gaara leaned on the sink, gulping down the dark, heavenly drink. The bitter taste of the coffee added with the rich aroma floating from the steaming cup always pleased him. The black extract lifted his spirits higher, washing away some of his earlier confusion.

"You worried in vain, nothing happened. I'm okay as you can see," the redhead finally spoke. "Will you help me with my homework today?" Gaara then asked, partly because he was eager to change the topic. Kankuro seemed to be calm and collected today or in other words, like any normal brother.

The redhead always appreciated Kankuro's help, especially in math. The brunette was very intelligent and had been exceptionally good at school. Gaara felt a bang of guilt in his heart. If Kankuro hadn't have to provide for them he would have attended to a university. He would now be educating himself to get a proper occupation instead of being stuck in this house with Gaara while working in the café.

"Sure, why not," the brunette replied, smiling. He liked to help his little brother who was not so gifted in natural science but was a genius when it came to writing, painting or art in general.

Kankuro slightly wondered what was going on between his little brother and the blond friend of his. Gaara seemed to be remarkably... happy at the moment. Happy? He wondered if that was a right adjective to describe his little brother's mood. Whatever the redhead was feeling, Kankuro knew it wasn't because of anything what he had done. No, that blond boy must've caused it. Kankuro tuned out the thoughts - there was no reason he should worry. He knew the redhead would always come back to him. There was no way the strong mental chains he had tied around Gaara could be broken by a brat like Naruto.

-----

Naruto was lying on his bed, on the sheets Gaara had slept on. He imagined again what Gaara had looked like in the morning, how the redhead had slept and then suddenly woken up, pinning Naruto down... Gaara had laid on top of him!

He knew it was really stupid of him to feel giddy like he did, laying on the bed sheets like some pervert. He couldn't help how he felt - Gaara staying overnight at his place had only caused his feelings to grow stronger. When the redhead had been around he had shut off all the inappropriate thoughts as well as he could. Now when he was all alone he let them roam around freely in his mind.

It seemed like it wasn't a good idea to touch Gaara, Naruto concluded. He had no idea what had made the redhead react the way he had. It wasn't normal. Even though the blond knew it would be wise to keep his distance to the redhead, he constantly hoped he could touch him again. Not only give touches, but also receive them. He tried to shake those desires off because dwelling in dreams only made it harder for him to deal with the fact that his feelings might never be responded to.

He wondered if the impassive mask on Gaara's face ever dissolved. In his sleep Gaara had looked relaxed and peaceful but when awake, the redhead was either impassive or frustrated looking. Naruto pondered if Gaara had any hidden feelings running inside, passion that only broke loose when the redhead allowed it.

Naruto pulled the pillow from under his head and hugged it, inhaling the pleasant scent that still lingered on it. If only it was Gaara in his arms... Naruto sighed. The redhead had only once hung around with him in freetime and he was already acting like a lovesick school boy. A voice in the back of his mind laughed mockingly at him. It seemed that his sense hadn't been as fast as his heart appeared to be. He sighed again, more deeply this time - he really was a fool.

-----

Gaara painted furiously. It had been a long time since he had had this much inspiration and enthusiasm to paint. In the picture there were two males which both had only half of their bodies left. They were laying on the bottom of a pit, looking at each other as the sun shone down on them. For one of his works, this one was surprisingly positive.

Naruto had influenced him, diverting his thoughts out of the depressive depths they usually lingered in. Because of the blond, Gaara could now paint a picture where the persons portrayed weren't tortured or dead. When he was done he sat down onto his bed and looked at the fresh painting. Had he really painted it?

He touched his cheeck as if he could still feel the blond's touch in it. Now that he had had time to sort his feelings out, Naruto's gesture didn't feel so threatening anymore. He had really overreacted back then. Hopefully Naruto didn't try to think the reasons behind it. Gaara rubbed at his cheek but it didn't feel the same as the blond's touch.

Earlier that day Kankuro had approached him and pulled him into an embrace, stroking his cheek. Gaara had turned his head away, preventing the brunette from touching his face. He didn't want Kankuro to taint the new feeling he had by fading out the memory of Naruto's touch. It sounded silly in his head but the only reasonable explanation he could figure out was that while Kankuro's touch felt quite wrong, Naruto's didn't. Naruto wasn't soiled like he and Kankuro were.

Maybe... maybe he should try and reach out to Naruto, too? What if he failed? He knew how to touch in an affectionate way, like when he touched his brother but he wasn't sure how he should approach a friend. Should he still try? Gaara stood up and inspected the fresh painting closely. He was still unsure. Could things... change? Could he find a way out of his current situation? He closed his eyes. No, there was no escape. Still, Naruto offered him a distraction and a place that was the safest he'd ever been. Maybe he should be a little grateful for that. Maybe he should reach out to Naruto.

-----

A few days later, Gaara was sitting on a bus, Naruto next to him. It had been the redhead's idea that they'd go to the observation tower which was set on the west side of Konoha. Gaara had been determined to pay back Naruto's friendliness in some way but didn't really know how. The only idea he'd come up with had been that he'd take the blond to a place he enjoyed.

Naruto had at first tried to coax Gaara into movies or to the mall but the redhead hadn't found the offers interesting. To the blond's knowledge, Gaara didn't enjoy spending time in public places like that.

It had been a couple of days after Gaara had spent the night at Naruto's place. When they had walked together to school the following Monday Gaara had admitted for the first time that he had actually liked it. Naruto had walked a bit closer to him than usually but the redhead had been in so good mood that he had let him. For some reason the blond had looked at him more often than before and his smiles had been wider and friendlier. The redhead had thought nothing of it - maybe the blond had had a good day, too? However, Naruto's behaviour hadn't changed since that day and Gaara had concluded that it probably was a part of this friendship thing.

The bus radio was on and Naruto was quietly singing the song that was currently played. It was a horrible, popular song that Gaara disliked from the first hearing.

"Stop it, you sound awful," the redhead said, not meaning to sound as rude as he had.

Naruto quitted but didn't let the stricture get him down. "Fine then. We could always talk you know, if you don't like my heavenly singing voice," Naruto replied jokingly.

"Have you been to the observation tower before?" Gaara asked after a pause. He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Nope," the blond said.

"I go there sometimes when I want to be alone," Gaara confessed. Until now, he hadn't had any other peaceful place to go if he wanted to be away from home. The roofed tower was at its best when it rained because then there surely wouldn't be other people. He had sometimes spent hours there, listening to the rain and enjoying the solitude.

The bus stopped and the boys got off. The observation tower was in the forest, not too far away from the bus stop. When they were at the bottom of the tall tower, Naruto looked up at the dozens of steps.

"How many steps are there? Man, how are we ever gonna get there, it will take forever!" the blond exclaimed, wondering how boring it would be to climb up the stairs for minutes.

"There's 162 of them. It's not that much. Now come on," Gaara said, already climbing up.

"You've counted them?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Yep," the redhead told him.

Finally they were on the top and instantly, Naruto went to lean against the balustrade, admiring the view. "Wow, look at how small Konoha looks like! I wonder if I can see my house from here," the blond spoke exitedly.

"I doubt it because I can't see my house," Gaara said. That was one of the many good sides of the tower.

"So what do we do here?" Naruto asked, his attention back to the redhead again.

"Do? Can't you just be at peace for a moment?" Gaara asked. How could he have forgotten how lively the blond was? Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to bring him here, after all...

"I don't know if I can... What do you usually do when you're here?" Naruto asked, his attention on the redhead no more but on the details of the distant centre of Konoha.

"Well... I mostly sit here and think," Gaara replied.

For a moment the blond was quiet, looking as the ant-sized trains and cars moved in the distance. "Do you have your camera with you?" he finally asked.

Gaara nodded and rummaged through his bag. He always had his camera with him in case he saw something he wanted to eternalize. He gave the camera to the blond, wondering if the boy had found something worth taking a photograph.

Naruto leaned against the balustrade, taking a picture of the city. Gaara eyed him warily, fearing for his precious camera. "If you drop the camera, I'll drop you," he said threateningly, hoping Naruto would be careful with property which wasn't the blond's own.

"Eek, I have to be careful then," Naruto replied cheerfully. He had taken a few pictures of the landscape but it was soon getting boring. "Can I take a picture of you?" he then asked, looking at Gaara.

"Why?" the redhead asked, looking into the distance, at the departing trains on the station.

"You're the most interesting target at the moment," the blond said, already clicking the camera's button. He looked at the fresh picture, happy with himself. "Could you smile a little, Gaara?" he asked, ready to take another shot.

The redhead turned to look at the blond but didn't smile. Naruto seemed to be pleased nevertheless and Gaara was a bit amused how keen the blond was on taking pictures of him. Naruto's inspiration wasn't long-lived, however, as the blond's stomach rumbled loudly after a while.

"Are you hungry?" Gaara asked, meeting the blue orbs again.

"Yeah, a bit," Naruto replied.

Gaara rummaged through his bag and then draped his hand towards Naruto. "Here," he said.

"You... You made lunch for us?" the blond asked, as if not believing his eyes. After his shock, he gratefully took the sandwich the redhead was offering him. "Jeez, you're a real pal, Gaara. My stomach tells me you're his best friend!" Naruto joked happily.

The redhead's lips curved up at the words but the expression was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Gaara sat down onto the floor and took a bite of his own sandwich, admitting he was a bit hungry, too. The blond sat next to him, their shoulders brushing lightly.

"Do you want another one?" Gaara asked as he noticed the blond had already finished eating.

Nodding, Naruto accepted another sandwich. They sat in silence for a while, eating and looking at the landscape. Naruto was surprised that Gaara had seen the effort and prepared lunch for them, he really hadn't expected that.

Gaara took out a water bottle from his bag and drank a couple of mouthfuls. He then gave the bottle to Naruto, knowing the other boy had to be thirsty, too. Naruto smiled before lifting the bottle to his lips and after a few gulps, the bottle was empty.

"Thanks," Naruto said.

He really enjoyed sitting this close to Gaara. He wondered if he'd dare to lean his head against his friend. What if Gaara snapped at him and really dropped him down from the tower? Then again, the redhead might as well enjoy it and accept his gesture. After a brief moment of hesitation, Naruto summoned all his courage and leaned his head against Gaara's shoulder. He hoped that the redhead wouldn't get angry at him because of that.

Gaara tensed, turning to look at the blond. "What do you think you are doing?" he asked.

"I'm leaning against you," was the simple answer.

Gaara didn't say a word but pondered the situation. The weight of Naruto wasn't oppressive but quite tolerable actually. How was it that all that kind of little tokens of friendship seemed to be so natural to Naruto? Gaara wasn't so good with people but he had promised himself to try and reach out to the blond.

He decided he wouldn't lose anything by responding to the blond's gesture. He was quite sure he wouldn't gain anything, either, but at least he would pay back the kindness Naruto had shown him. Testingly, he lowered his head to lean against the blond locks. It didn't feel too bad, after all, and when he let go of his tenseness he even enjoyed it a bit.

The sun was setting, thus making the air chillier and in those circumstances, Gaara was welcoming the warmness emitting from Naruto. He felt safe around him, now that he was quite sure that the blond's actions weren't a secret attempt to get his guard down. To Gaara's pleasure, when they were sitting like this, Naruto wasn't babbling or bouncing here and there anymore . No, the blond was all quiet and calm. The redhead appreciated it and he felt like coming here again some day with Naruto.

When he checked his cellphone to see what time it was, he noticed that the last bus would drive past the stop soon.

"We have to go," Gaara said, getting up. Now when Naruto wasn't leaning against him anymore, his body shivered from the sudden loss of warmth. He decided it hadn't been a bad idea to sit like that, now that they were friends and all.

Naruto nodded, a bit sad that the nice moment between them was over. He had really enjoyed to have Gaara so near him. He hoped that the redhead had enjoyed it, too. At least the boy hadn't gotten angry, that was a good sign.

The blond wondered how far Gaara would let him go. Would holding hands be too much? Probably it would be. But he had seen a lot of friends doing that, it wasn't suspicious in his opinion. Even he and Kiba had sometimes held hands and that had been okay. But then again, Gaara and Kiba were two totally different people...

Naruto was quiet all the way to the stop and Gaara couldn't help but wonder what had gotten to the blond. It was rare to see the boy so deep in thought. Judging by Naruto's lack of concentration at school, Gaara hadn't even know the blond was capable of such pensiveness. The redhead was about to ask if something was wrong but decided against it. He enjoyed their silence and feared his question would break it.

On the bus, Naruto glanced at his friend, as if seeking for reassurance. The redhead was gazing out of the window, not paying attention to him. The pale hand was alluringly resting on the bus seat, between him and Gaara. Quickly, before hesitation and regret could overpower him, Naruto took hold of Gaara's hand and studied it, making silent notices how different his own hands were from the redhead's. He lowered their hands between them, gently rubbing Gaara's palm with his thumb.

"Let go of my hand. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea of us," the redhead spoke quietly but sternly, jerking his hand free.

He had accepted Naruto to lean against him but holding hands was something he couldn't allow. He couldn't, even though the tanned hand had felt warm... But wasn't it a gesture of couples, not friends? Or did friends hold hands, too? He wasn't sure. But he and Naruto were friends, so maybe the blond had meant it as a friendly gesture. After all, Naruto was so good with people skills, unlike he himself. Had he overreacted again? Had he pushed the blond further away now, when his intention was to reach out to him? He cursed his own confusion, his lack of social skills. How was he ever able to reach out to Naruto like this? He was beginning to believe he had had too high hopes of himself when he had decided to respond to Naruto's friendliness...

"C'mon, there's no one here in the bus except us," the blond said, a little disappointed. He was glad, though, that Gaara hadn't physically hurt him or yelled at him. Naruto sat still for a moment but after a while, he leaned against Gaara again, resting his head on the boy's shoulder. He knew it was risky to approach the redhead like this straight after the boy had turned down his idea of holding hands. He knew he was trying his luck but he couldn't help but reach out to Gaara once again. In the redhead's company he welt so happy and carefree, and when he was allowed to lean against the boy like this, he almost thought he'd died and gone to heaven.

The redhead gave the blond a sideways glance but didn't say anything. Instead, he looked out of the window as the neon lights of the city shone brightly in the darkness. No one had ever reached out to him like Naruto. No one had been so kind and eager to spend time with him, Kankuro excluded. At the moment he felt oddly peaceful and... happy? No, he wasn't happy, content at the most.

When they were almost on the bus stop near their homes, Gaara pushed the button. "Naruto," he spoke softly, careful that the earlier coldness wasn't in his voice anymore, "Let's go."

They got off from the bus and walked to the direction of their houses. Naruto's home came first and before the blond turned to make his way inside, he looked at Gaara in silence.

"Thanks for this day. I had fun," Naruto said, his breath steaming up in the chilly night air. When the redhead seemed to give no answer, he turned to go inside. A pale hand took a hold of his sleeve, preventing him. Slowly the hand lowered and grabbed the tanned palm. Naruto looked into the jade eyes, surprised.

"I had fun, too. See you tomorrow," Gaara said quietly, giving a light squeeze to the blond's hand before letting go. Then he turned and left, not giving Naruto a chance to reply.

Naruto stood there for a moment, deep in a world of his own. He looked at his hand, as if still seeing the pale hand holding it. A wide smile spread onto his face at the thought and happily, he rushed inside.

-----

Gaara laid on the bed, unable to sleep. He had been staring at the cellar ceiling for the last hour. Getting up from the bed, he went to his bag and took out his camera. He laid back onto the bed and previewed the pictures. Some of them were a bit shaken. He was surprised to find out that the blond had taken so many pictures of him.

He had been a bit unsure when he had took a hold of Naruto's hand. Had he done it right? He didn't want to give any wrong signals. The redhead wasn't very good at that kind of little gestures, so he tried to imitate the blond's actions. The tanned hand had been warm and soft and now that he thought about it, it hadn't felt too bad to reach out to Naruto like that.

He thought he had already previewed all of the pictures but was surprised to see he hadn't. The last picture was one of Naruto - the blond was grinning, his blue eyes deep like the ocean. Gaara smiled a bit at the sight. This day hadn't been a total loss after all. Yawning, he turned, still holding the camera in his hand. Slowly, he dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

-----

It was morning and the sun was shining brightly outside. Kankuro, however, didn't even notice it, for his mind was full of dark thoughts. Gaara had been acting different lately and it worried him. He welcomed the fact that his little brother had been somehow more peaceful but at the same time, the redhead had been avoiding him, and that if anything annoyed him to no end.

When he had tried to approach Gaara, the redhead had turned away from his touch too many times and when he had looked into the jade eyes, they had reflected the old, familiar disgust again. It hurt Kankuro, for he tried his best to be a caring and loving brother.

At first he had been sure he had done something wrong to deserve his little brother's coldness but soon he had changed his mind. The blond boy had surely influenced Gaara and Kankuro wanted to know just what exactly was going on. It was okay for Gaara to have a friend but it was a totally different thing if that friend made his little brother avoid him. He didn't blame Naruto, no, the blondie was surely clueless about all this. What he was looking forward to was a moment with Gaara, a moment when he could talk to him openly.

The cellar door creaked and soon Kankuro was graced with a sight of his little brother. Gaara entered the kitchen, looking ready to go to school, and didn't even seem to notice that the brunette was slumping in the chair, forgotten. The redhead gulped down a cup of black coffee and was already about to hurry out of the kitchen.

"Hey, don't go so fast. And what's with skipping breakfast?" Kankuro asked, hurt that his existence hadn't been noted in any way.

"Too busy to eat," came a hurried reply as Gaara was already in the hallway.

"You have to eat, otherwise you'll faint or worse," Kankuro replied, now standing next to the redhead.

"I'll eat at school, okay? I'll see you later," Gaara said, turning his back to his brother.

And then the front door slammed shut and the redhead was gone.

Kankuro stood in the hallway, rooted to the spot. For him it felt like the whole house had somehow darkened even though the sun was probably still shining outside. All he could see was blackness around him. Shadows of agony and uncertainty were falling over him and without resistance, he let them drown him. The familiar ache was back again, eating him away. He could tell apart the normal pain and the dangerous pain - this was an emotion he could control, he wouldn't lose his mind.

He felt so weak and powerless. It was like he couldn't reach out to Gaara even though he desperately wanted to. What if Gaara didn't care about him anymore? No, that couldn't be. They were brothers, they couldn't suddenly just stop caring for each other. He shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. He wanted to gain control over himself and stop dwelling in the darkness.

Later, everything would surely look different in his eyes. Now, in his confusion, he didn't dare to trust his notions about Gaara's behaviour. Maybe he was just exaggerating things. Sometimes it was hard for him to tell apart what was real and what wasn't, so he concluded this might be one of those wavering moments.

One thing was sure, be there confusion or not, he was not going to let Gaara go, no matter what the jade eyes reflected when they looked at him. Gaara was his little brother, the only person that held importance to him, and he wouldn't let the redhead break away.

To be continued...

A/N: This chapter was really hard to write because I wanted all the emotions to appear right and logical. I don't know if it matters but I don't like this chapter very much, to tell the truth.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the painting Gaara made, I feel I should explain. The two males in that painting aren't tortured, even though half of their bodies are gone. I thought that together, they are a whole person. I couldn't write that into the story, though, because Gaara doesn't realize that symbolism (yet, at least). He just paints what pops up in his mind.

The next chapter will be more interesting, at least in my opinion.