The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.


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With Lee and Gaara...

The talk between the two had finally passed. And now...it was time for action.

"Here I come, ya meele-mouthed little bastard!" Lee said, rushing for Gaara at high speed. Gaara merely just stood where he was, not moving an inch.

Lee threw a fist at Gaara's face, but the sand from his gourd blocked the attack with ease. Not easily discouraged though, Lee then threw a kick at Gaara's middle...which was ALSO blocked by the sand.

NOW Lee was starting to get a little angry. He threw punch after punch, and kick after kick at Gaara, but none of them could get through the sand.

Gaara grew bored of this, and instructed the sand to begin attacking Lee. The sand hit Lee with great force in his middle, nearly knocking the wind out of him as he flew back from the impact. He got up quickly though, and began to dodge the sand as best as he could.

'Goddamnit! I can't break through that bastard's sand! I guess it was tougher than it looked...' Lee thought. 'But there's GOT to be some way to break through it...oh well, I'll just keep attacking this piece of shit, and see if I can find any openings...'


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Meanwhile, with Naruto and Hinata...

Hinata flung Naruto into a room that was deep in the back of the building. It had a bed big enough for two...and pretty much nothing else.

Hey, all that was on Hinata's mind was getting into Naruto's pants. You think she had the time, never mind the ability to CARE, to make the room a little more nicer?

"Okay, Naruto-kun...it's finally time for my reward..." Hinata giggled with a sly look on her face as she pushed the blond onto the bed.

Naruto scooted back on the bed as far as he could, while Hinata just smiled at that and crawled on the bed like a cat towards him.

"Okay...you win, Hinata-chan. After all, I never go back on my word as a Ninja...and you DID beat Neji..." Naruto muttered. "Just close your eyes, and I'll begin..."

"YAY!" Hinata squealed, shutting her eyes, and puckering her lips above Naruto's face. The blond got a sweatdrop along the side of his face.

'Sorry, Hinata-chan. But I'm not quite old for something like that yet...' Naruto thought, reaching into his coat pocket. 'It's a good thing that I thought about making an...antidote...'

Naruto froze as he found that the spot in his jacket where the antidote was supposed to be was empty.

'...Oh no...don't tell me that...I THOUGHT that something fell out of my pocket when Hinata glomped my arm like that!' Naruto mentally slapped himself on the forehead.

'Oh well. Maybe I could seduce Hinata-chan into waiting for me a bit mo-ahhhh!'

Naruto suddenly let out a rather loud moan as he felt pleasure spread through his crotch area. He quickly looked down to see that Hinata was caressing it with two of her fingers.

Shocked, he stared up at the Hyuuga...only to find that she had her Byakugan activated, and was giving him a rather...sexy smile.

"You were taking too long, Naruto-kun..." Hinata said, licking her lips slowly, with Naruto watching the movement with wide eyes and a tiny blush on his face. "And when it comes to you, I don't LIKE to be kept waiting..."

Short Lime/Lemon Scene! Warning! Short Lime/Lemon Scene!

"I see that you're liking another technique from my Ecstasy Fist..." Hinata giggled, moving her hand in a short sensual pattern, and watching as Naruto's face contorted in pleasure as he began to pant slightly. "I like to call this one the Koiru Tore-su...(Coil Trace) (1). Once I've hit a pleasure point, I can control the flow of the chakra by moving my hand, so long as it never leaves the target...I told you that the more...advanced moves would be for your body only..."

True to Hinata's word, Naruto felt the pleasure spread from his rapidly growing cock all the way throughout his body. Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but the SPEED at which it happened blew him away.

"Hi...Hinata-chan..." Naruto stuttered, and Hinata found herself smiling at the way that her love sounded like she had not too long ago.

"Shhhh...hush now, Naruto-kun," Hinata purred, pulling down the zipper to Naruto's pants. "As much as I'd love to get my own pleasure, I'm afraid we'd be here all day. So for now...just let me please you..."

"Hinata-chan...you...you don't have to do this..." Naruto stammered.

"Oh, but I WANT to, Naruto-kun...I've wanted to ever since I've learned about it..." Hinata said, looking up at Naruto with her Byakugan deactivated. What Naruto saw in her eyes was shocking for him.

He saw admiration...respect...a bit of lust...but most important of all...love.

"This is the highest form of love I could give you, Naruto-kun. And even if you don't feel the same way about me, I still want to give it to you," Hinata went on. Then she smiled. "Just consider it a gift for having stayed the way you've always been all of these years..."

And with that, Hinata pulled Naruto's shorts down, along with his boxers. She nearly gasped as she saw Naruto's member. "Oh, Naruto-kun...it's so...it's so..."

"It's...it's not too big, is it...?" Naruto said, more nervous than he had ever been. "I mean...I know it's not normal for kids my age to have one this big..."

Hinata smiled at his modesty, and shook her head. "No, Naruto-kun. Yours is the perfect shape for your age. Not too small, yet not too big...it's just that it's my first time seeing one up close, that's all..." She looked up at Naruto, her face flushed bright red. "Can I...can I touch it...?"

Naruto, whose face was also flushed bright red, replied, "S...sure. Go ahead if...you want to..."

Hinata smiled again, and slowly wrapped her hand on Naruto's member, putting a little chakra into it.

Naruto couldn't hold in a little whimper as his cock ejaculated shortly after. A surprised Hinata got a bit of Naruto's cream on her face as he emptied himself of his white fluids.

Soon, it stopped, and Naruto rested his head back unto the pillow. He took a few deep breaths before looking up at Hinata, who hadn't moved since she got a face full of Naruto's jucies.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Hinata-chan..." Naruto said, ashamed as he looked down at the floor. "I...I know that I should have lasted longer than that..."

Hinata didn't say anything for a while. But she began to giggle a bit, and scooped a bit of cum into her fingertips.

"Don't be sorry, Naruto-kun. After all, we're both still very young...it's no surprise that you came that quickly," Hinata said, licking up the cum on her fingers. 'Hmm...a bit salty...but since it's Naruto-kun's, I guess I could live with that.' "Besides, your cock is still hard."

Naruto blinked, and looked down to see that his member was still standing erect.

"Hee...I guess it has a mind of its own..." Naruto chuckled a bit.

"Good..." Hinata said, kissing Naruto on the lips for a few seconds. "Because it still has a little bit more work to do..."

End of Short Lime/Lemon Scene. End of Short Lime/Lemon Scene.


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10 minutes later, both Hinata and Naruto came out of the back room, both grinning like they would die if they stopped. Once they got back to the main room, they were surprised to see that Lee was glowing with MASSIVE chakra, and his entire skin was a deep red color.

"What the heck happened?" Naruto cried over the wind that the effect was producing.

"Ah, Naruto. So glad you could join us," Kakashi said with a slight teasing tone. "Well, while you and Hinata were having your...fun...Lee and Gaara were pushing each other to the limit. And soon, Lee had to bring out the secret power of the Eight Inner Gates to combat Gaara."

Naruto was abput to ask what he meant, before he heard Lee's voice shout out from the battleground.

"I can feel it...holy SHIT, I can feel it! The power that's going through me! I think that I can...use Ninjutsu for a short time!" Lee laughed. Then he glared at Gaara. "I think I figured out the weakness of your so called 'Ultimate fuckin defense!' If the sand isn't fast enough, you're practically a sitting duck! So I have just the thing to take care of you!"

Lee flashed through a couple of handsigns, but before he could call out the name of the technique, the sand swarmed around him blocking him from view.

"LEE!/Bushy Brows!" Both Gai and Naruto shouted.

"You put up a good fight...but it's all over now," Gaara said, a crazed look in his eyes. "Now...HELP ME FEEL ALIVE!"

Gaara clutched his hand, fully expecting Lee to explode in blood. But instead, a huge poof of smoke pushed away the sand before it could crush the Leaf-nin.

But what came OUT of the smoke shocked everyone.

It was a truck.

A HUGE truck.

And it had the words, 'Ninja Dew' on it.

"What the...?" Gaara and the rest said, at a loss of words.

Lee quickly jumped to the top of the truck, a giant hose in his hand.

"How do ya like me now, ya little bastard?!" Lee shouted. "It's my own technique, Summoning: Biiru Torakku! (Beer Truck) Now...I think it's about time for ya to have a little shower! Rock Lee style!"

Lee turned on the hose at full power, and it sprayed the Ninja Dew at Gaara with frighting force. Gaara brought up the sand to defend, but the liquid covered it all, making it slink down to the ground as mud. The suna nin soon lost his footing, and fell to the ground, trying to cover his face as the beverage sprayed him without mercy.

"Yuck! Now there's the smell of Beer all over the place!" Ino whined, covering her nose.

"Oh, no...he found out the only weakness of Gaara's sand...get it wet and it crumbles into mud!" Temari said, nervous.

"This isn't good..." Kankuro growled.

Lee finally stopped spraying Gaara with the beer. The Suna-Nin was soaked to the brim with the stuff, and he looked even more pissed than he had before.

But before he could, Lee, with his enhanced speed from the Inner Gates, warped over to Gaara, shocking the Nin with how quickly he got to his space.

Lee didn't do anything for a minute. But then he smirked a nasty smirk, and gave Gaara a TWO finger salute this time. Then he kicked Gaara in the gut as hard as he could.

Gaara felt the wind go out of him as he bent over to cover his stomach.

Big mistake.

Lee turned his back to Gaara, and hooked his head onto his shoulder. Then he jumped as high into the air as he could, taking Gaara with him...only to land onto the floor backside first, and doing major damage to Gaara's neck as the Demon-Container flew a short distance into the air before he landed hard onto his back.

Kankuro and Temari stared in horror as they saw their brother get knocked out by the hit. Now they were worried that the Shukaku would show up and reek havoc...

But after a full minute, nothing happened, except for Lee going back to his regular state, falling to the floor and breathing hard. "That...was the Rock Lee Stunner. Remember it when you get out...of the ward...ya weak bastard..."

Hayate rose his arm and said, "By way of Knock-out, Rock Lee is the winner!"

Kankuro, Temari, Baki (their sensei) and Orochimaru (who was in disguise) couldn't believe it! Gaara, a very important part of their plan, was knocked out of the running before the main event!

This would SERIOUSLY hinder their plans...


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And that's all for this chapter! I hope you liked the little Lime/Lemon that came with this chapter. I didn't want Naruto to last too long with his first time, even WITH the Kyuubi's chakra. Rest Assured, the Lemons will be MUCH longer and more detailed as Naruto gets more experience. Catch you next Continue! And try to guess why Shukaku didn't come out.