Of Birds Who Fly Free

Chapter Six_Ero, Ero, Hokage-san!

Naruto sighed and knocked heavily on the door of Iruka’s apartment, hoping the older chuunin was home by now. He waited, looking around with a frown. After a moment, the door opened and Iruka greeted him with a smile.

“Naruto! Welcome…I heard you and Sasuke were making a ruckus all over town today,” Iruka welcomed him in, happy to see the younger male.

Naruto smiled, still getting a happy giddy feeling around the other. Iruka was his unofficial big brother, and that was another precious bond.

“Yeah…sorry about that. I’m trying to help him, and the teme’s making things a bit more difficult then necessary,” Naruto shrugged and made his way to the couch.

“So I heard,” Iruka laughed softly, then threw him an incredulous look. “Poor Hinata-chan fainted and was taken home by Neji after some badly drawn porn fell from the sky onto her head.”

Naruto stopped and swallowed a squeak, flushing red across the cheeks. “It…wasn’t porn! It was diagrams!”

“Diagrams. Right,” Iruka sighed and shook his head, offering him a cup of tea.

“I’m trying to give Sasuke some sex education. It was a promise,” Naruto explained, not wanting Iruka to take him the wrong way. The other man was already being more lenient then normal. Naruto had half-expected a lecture when he learned Iruka knew about their romp through town that morning.

Iruka looked at him, and when he realized Naruto was serious, mumbled something under his breath and drank from his cup.

“Yeah, I know. Suicidal,” Naruto laughed, catching the last bit. He took a drink of the tea and relaxed a little. “By the way, Iruka-sensei, is Kakashi-sensei here or still at work?”

“What makes you think Kakashi’s here?” Iruka asked, flushing and his tone hitching slightly.

Naruto burst into snickers and gave him a look. “Don’t play innocent, Iruka. Everybody knows about you two.”

Iruka flushed even redder and made to comment, but was interrupted by the masked ninja himself.

“Oi, Naruto! You made a hell of a ruckus this morning. It’s all I heard about today at the office,” Kakashi entered the room with a smile, shirtless with a towel around his head that masked his face. He must have just come out of the shower.

Naruto grinned sheepishly. “Well…you know…Sasuke and I like to stir up the town every now and then.”

“Good…Got to keep things interesting,” Kakashi cheerfully joined the joke, ignoring the scolding look Iruka gave them both.

“Actually, Kakashi, I need your professional opinion,” Naruto turned serious, or as serious as someone about to discuss sex teaching techniques with the man that inherited the title of ‘most perverted teacher in the world’ after Jiraiya’s death.

Iruka left the room to give them their privacy, glancing suspiciously at the two even as he left. He busied making some more tea, trying to catch what he could of their conversation.

“So…that’s what’s going on. Here I thought you’d finally decided to chase a male skirt for a change,” Kakashi winked teasingly at him, relaxing back into his seat with a highly amused outlook on today’s events.

Naruto chuckled, though a bit ruefully. He wasn’t the type of person to deny he hadn’t thought on it once in a while.

“Well…really, it was Itachi’s last wish. And I want to know Sasuke’s going to be ok and capable of finding someone if anything ever happens to me,” Naruto shrugged.

Kakashi seemed to drift off into his thoughts and Naruto waited patiently, starting to get worried. Had he done the right thing to ask this person for advice?

“Naruto…remember your academy days,” Kakashi started after a moment, meeting the blonde’s eyes. “Remember your grades and marks?”

“Terrible…” Naruto frowned and deflated at the memory. He sucked horribly at papers and tests.

“Remember, how you were the worst in your class? You spent all that time sitting in a desk, listening to the theories and practices of a ninja,” Kakashi continued, then narrowed his eyes slyly. “Remember how drastically you changed and improved after you left that theoretical way of learning and moved on to a more hands on application of the practice?”

“What are you saying? That Sasuke will only learn if he just has sex?” Naruto tried to put what Kakashi was suggesting into words.

“Exactly! Why do you think people hate hearing the sex talk? They’d rather do it then read about it,” Kakashi waved away the very notion, then loosely weaved his fingers together and rest his chin on them, elbows on the table. Naruto didn’t have to see to know Kakashi was grinning like a perverted child during Christmas morning.

“Kakashi, I think you’ve been sitting in an office to long. The whole point of giving Sasuke the sex talk is to prepare him to have sex! He’s a Uchiha! Any girl that’ll sleep with him will expect excellence. Even more so since he’s got the bad boy background on top of it! Where would I find someone that would have sex with Sasuke and not get annoyed or disappointed at his lack of skill?” Naruto scowled in annoyance, unhappy Kakashi hadn’t thought of that.

Kakashi’s perverted grin only got wider behind his towel. “Naruto, you’re overcomplicating your own problems. Sasuke needs a friend he trusts who already knows about his lack of knowledge and is willing to help him compensate for it.”

Naruto snorted in exasperation and leaned back into the couch, resting his arms on the cushions above him. “Where the hell am I going to find someone like that? Sasuke’s only friends are Sakura-chan and me. And Sakura-chan’s already involved with someone.”

Kakashi said nothing, just kept a steady gaze on Naruto.

Naruto stared dully at him, before it clicked. “Wha…wait. Me!?! You want me to fuck Sasuke!?”

“Well why not? Tell me you haven’t thought about it before,” Kakashi challenged him.

Naruto flushed red and stared at the other man with his mouth hanging open. Thought about…doing that with Sasuke? Naruto’s mind shifted to images of Sasuke. Sasuke sleeping, Sasuke fresh out of the shower, Sasuke blushing and yelling at him, and then the dreams he’d been having over the past several months.

Naruto quickly grabbed his cup of tea and drank the half that was left, slamming the cup down with a glare at Kakashi. “It could never happen! Even if I have thought about it…Sasuke would never let me! He’d kill me! Not to mention he’d never trust me again!”

“Oh, believe me. He wouldn’t be as against it as you think,” Kakashi chuckled, a knowing glint in his eyes.

Naruto failed to notice that the other knew something he didn’t, continuing to glare and come up with an excuse. Honestly, he was trying to deny the fact that a large part of him was all for Kakashi’s suggested idea. He was not above trying new things, and sex was sex. It was lots of fun and the idea of trying out a male bedmate was more then sinfully tempting.

But Sasuke…?

“I’d never get him to agree, and I’d never get him in one spot long enough, anyway! Sasuke refuses to admit he knows nothing on the subject. And I’ve already tried tying him down, he just breaks free!” Naruto argued, grasping for some sense of logic here. He almost wished Iruka would walk in and correct the situation with his more sensible approach to things.

“You tied him down wrong. Ropes and handcuffs can only do so much. When you want to trap a ninja, you must use ninjutsu. It’s a key rule,” Kakashi lectured him. “This is why I never assign you to capture based missions, Naruto.”

Naruto made a face and grumbled something about knowing that, staring sourly at his empty tea cup. “Regardless, Sasuke knows what I’m up to. He won’t be coming home anytime soon, and I don’t even know where he’s run off to. I’ve got my clones looking all over for him!”

“Leave that part to me. He’s still a Konoha ninja, and unless he wants to start trouble, he wouldn’t dare disobey a summons from the Hokage,” Kakashi chuckled evilly.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Kakashi. “….pervert! You can’t abuse your powers like that! Kakashi, when you swore an oath as the new Hokage-“

“Yadda yadda, you sound like Iruka,” Kakashi cut him off, waving at him dismissively. “You’re just scraping for excuses as it is, Naruto. You want it. He needs it. I’ll summon Sasuke to the Hokage tower and have him deliver a package to you. You go home and prepare for his…physical exam-“

“PERVERT!!! PERVERT, PERVERT, PERVERT!!”

“As I was saying, you prepare for tonight,” Kakashi bat away the accusations. “Now to catch Sasuke by surprise and keep him from running off, the package he’ll be delivering will be one of your bunshin in disguise.”

“That won’t work,” Naruto argued with a scowl. “Remember the Wave Country mission? Sasuke knew the wind shuriken I threw to him was me the moment he touched it. He’ll know a bunshin if it’s in his hands.”

“True…nice thinking…” Kakashi praised, furling his eyebrows as he tried to think up something else.

“So then, just tell Sasuke the package is high priority. A scroll that carries a reinforced application of the Kyuubi seal for Naruto to apply. Then have Naruto create a bunshin that will disguise itself as another ninja, and join Sasuke in the delivery of the scroll. He’ll not think twice on it and will drop his guard a little with the false assurance of having someone else there,” Iruka spoke up, startling both men out of their silent moment and drawing their attention onto him.

Iruka blushed in embarrassment, knowing by speaking up he’d revealed his eavesdropping. That and he was actually supporting Kakashi’s crazy idea, which he would normally have frowned at. But he knew deep down Naruto felt strongly for Sasuke. Even if the blonde didn’t know it. This chance intimacy might bring both boys into a new revelation. Either that or he’d been living to long with Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi and Naruto stared in shock at Iruka, before Kakashi suddenly smiled and stood, throwing himself at Iruka in a flamboyant hug. “~IRUKA-CHAN!~ Have I told you that I love you and those smarts of yours?”

“B-Baka! I’m not supporting this plan of yours! It’s rash, perverted, and Naruto’s right! It’s an abuse of your power as Hokage! But if Naruto’s going to go with it, he needs more then just your mind working out the details!” Iruka defended himself with a blush and scowl, never willing to admit to anything that would feed Kakashi’s already tainted ego.

“I can't do this…" Naruto flushed and stared at the table in complete shock. Despite what his mouth was saying, his heart and body where already dancing at the thought of getting their hands on his beautiful friend. “Oh god, this is insane…”

Naruto sighed and dropped his face into his hand, trying to stop the swirling thoughts and images in his head.

A cup of sake was suddenly offered in his line of sight and Naruto glanced up into Kakashi’s encouraging close-eyed smile. “You can do it! A ninja does what he must to complete his missions. Now take a good swig of this, maybe two more, and don’t look back!”

Naruto stared at him a moment longer, before kicking reason out the door and taking the cup, chugging the whole thing down in one gulp. He gasped for air and set down the glass, standing with newfound determination and the welcoming aftertaste of alcohol burning his throat. “Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll put everything I’ve got into this, so Sasuke will not only learn what he needs to learn…but like it enough not to kill me in the morning!”

“Damn right you are, Naruto! That’s the student I knew!” Kakashi cheered, pumping his fist into the air to help drive Naruto’s newfound willpower.

“You can find Sasuke, right?” Naruto asked Kakashi.

“Sure as shit. Leave it to me,” Kakashi saluted him.

“Then I’ll leave the arrangements to you. Thanks, guys. If I don’t show up at the missions office tomorrow with my genin, you can safely assume I’m dead,” Naruto nodded to them both and made his way out of the apartment.

“He’s not really going to die, is he?” Iruka asked Kakashi after Naruto left, crossing his arms and giving his lover a disapproving frown.

“Wha? No way! Sasuke’s been head-over-heels for Naruto since their academy days. Hell, after tonight, he’ll be praising my cunning technique,” Kakashi proclaimed with full confidence and blissful ignorance of any negative consequences. “Let’s face it. Hatake Kakashi, Hokage of Konohagakure, is also the village’s number one cupid of love!”

Iruka frowned, highly doubting that.