Forbidden Fruit - Kakashi/Sasuke

This story is unconnected to the others in this collection ^^


#30 - Close the Gap


Sasuke shivered and trudged homeward, his toes frozen in his shoes, his joints aching. It had been a long, hard mission in the north, his first A-rank since his name had been added to the Kohonagakure roster, and he had three things on his mind.

First: take a long, hot bath.

Second: go and see if Kakashi was in town.

Third: curl up under a pile of blankets and sleep for a few days.

He'd need the sleep, after the mission he'd had. And he'd probably want the oblivion of it, to dull the rejection he'd most certainly have, at the hands of his former sensei, now superior officer. His relationship with Kakashi had been... complicated, ever since he'd been taken back into the fold.

The last time he had seen Kakashi, they'd argued, and Sasuke had stormed out of Kakashi's apartment.

He'd regretted it almost immediately - the storming out, that is. He was much too old to do that sort of thing anymore, and normally, he didn't. But even after all these years, Kakashi still possessed that singular ability to get under his skin, to get on his nerves, to make him want to strangle--

Sasuke flexed his hands in his gloves and shook himself. Then he sighed, a gesture he knew he'd picked up from Kakashi. He gritted his teeth and kept walking.

Because the thing was - he didn't want to strangle Kakashi at all. He wanted to do lots of things to Kakashi, but strangling wasn't on the list. And he was pretty sure Kakashi wanted to do lots of things to him, too.

But there was always something in the way. Some argument would surface, or some awkwardness would rear its head and have one or both of them retreating back into themselves. Self-awareness was a thing that Sasuke was getting better at these days, and still, he'd recognized this happening for nearly a year, now. And still, he was usually unable to stop it before the damage was done.

He let himself into his standard, single shinobi's apartment and shrugged out of his knapsack. This went on its hook on the wall, immediately joined by a scarf Kakashi had given him for his birthday half a year ago. He ran his fingers over the soft scrap of fabric and frowned when the memory hit him, of relaying to Kakashi exactly how stupid a gift it was for a birthday in July, anyway.

And Kakashi taking a step backwards, his smile blurring into that fake one. And Sasuke realizing only after Kakashi retreated to the other side of the room that this was the first gift Kakashi'd given him, and that the scarf was blue, Sasuke's favorite color, and that he'd just possibly hurt the man's feelings.

He'd hurt Kakashi's feelings because it made him nervous when people gave him gifts. Made him feel like they expected something in return.

...Not that he could apologize. And not that Kakashi would admit to being hurt, even if he had.

Sasuke shook himself again and lifted the scarf from its hook, and he carried it with him into the bathroom. He draped it over the edge of the sink and started his bathwater.

He'd just settled in when he heard a noise in the living room. His shoulders tensed up, and when he recognized the familiar chakra signature, he had an odd moment where his whole body shuddered, unsure whether to relax or tense up even more.

He was in the bathroom, naked in the bath tub, and exhausted. Lots of ways these things could work against his favor.

Then he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, and he exhaled a heavy breath, realizing what he was already doing. This was not a competition, not a contest - there was nothing to win or to lose.

Except maybe a little bit of happiness.

"I'm in here," Sasuke called, and he draped his washrag over his lap.

And maybe... a little bit of sanity.

"Good evening, Sasuke-kun~" Kakashi sing-songed, poking his head into the bathroom with his eye closed. "Are you decent?"

"I've got a washcloth over my lap," Sasuke answered, his voice thin and more weary than he'd thought it would be.

"Ah, indecent, then." Kakashi stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, and he opened his eye. "Good enough for me."

Sasuke twitched the corner of his lips up, a smile for anyone who cared to interpret it that way. Apparently Kakashi did; he grinned back and took a seat on the lid of the toilet.

Sasuke slid down deeper into the water, letting himself relax, and watched Kakashi brush his fingers over the blue scarf.

Sasuke watched his fingers - his long, sensitive, calloused fingers, covered in scores of tiny scars - as they so-gently tested the softness of the fabric, and then fell back into Kakashi's lap. His chest tightened, and he let his head roll to the side to fully face Kakashi.

"Thank you for the scarf," Sasuke said. He hadn't really meant to, but he had to say something besides, There's plenty of room for both of us in here, or I missed you terribly, and I kind of wish I didn't.

"Oh, this stupid thing?" Kakashi asked, his voice distant and light. As if he didn't mean anything by it. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he recognized, as it happened, the spark of anger that threatened. He'd been trying to apologize - him, Uchiha Sasuke, apologizing - and Kakashi wouldn't let him.

He breathed through it and concentrated on how good the warm water felt, the heat finally seeping through to his bones... and how glad he really was to see Kakashi again, how strangely relieved he felt when he looked at the curve of Kakashi's slumped back.

There was nothing to be gained by becoming angry. There was nothing to win or lose here, except for maybe a little comfort.

So he shifted in the tub, unsure what to say. It was a small victory that he didn't let his anger show, though... but he couldn't be satisfied with just that.

His skin itched, tight and tingling, and he scratched his arm and looked down at his toes - red from the quick change from freezing to hot. He wiggled them and then looked at Kakashi again.

Kakashi was watching him quietly, the corner of his eye tilting up gently in a smile.

"Want me to wash your back?" he asked in that same distant, light voice, and it was almost a joke - it was almost something that would make Sasuke snort and roll his eyes and maybe half-jokingly tell Kakashi to get out. But not today, not when he was so tired from his mission, and tired from dancing around this thing with Kakashi for so long.

So he let the corner of his mouth curl up again, and he scooped up the rag that floated just over his crotch, and he held it out to Kakashi.

Kakashi's eye widened for a split second, and then he laughed softly. Sasuke didn't take the washcloth back, though, but continued holding it out. Kakashi might have been joking, but he wasn't. They had to do something to cross the line; so far so good, but sitting around and saying nothing wasn't going to cut it.

After a few seconds, Kakashi laughed again, just a short hum of a sound, and he tugged his gloves off. Sasuke blinked slowly as he watched, and the attraction that was at the core of all of this stirred up inside him, and he tried to keep his excitement at a low simmer.

His efforts didn't keep his heart from racing when Kakashi knelt on the thin rug beside the bathtub and took the washcloth out of Sasuke's hand. Sasuke took a slow breath and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his bent legs and resting his chin on his knees.

He didn't say anything when Kakashi dipped the rag into the water and scrubbed it against the bar of soap, and neither did Kakashi when he pressed the warm washcloth between Sasuke's shoulderblades and started washing.

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed steadily, and he arched his spine outwards when Kakashi slowed his movements. He sighed when Kakashi let the washcloth fall into the water and ran his warm, soapy hand over his back, over his shoulders, squeezing and gently massaging the tight muscles. Kakashi's hands were a little scratchy, but the rough texture felt pleasant and real against his skin. He felt warm all over, and he was glad for the fact that he'd been pink from the heat before Kakashi even showed up.

He opened his eyes and Kakashi's face was just a few inches away, his gaze turned away from Sasuke's face, intent on what he was doing to Sasuke's back.

"Kakashi," Sasuke said quietly, and the man's dark eye swiveled over to him.

"Hmm?" he inquired, and Sasuke exhaled heavily at the feel of Kakashi's fingers gliding firmly over the stiff muscles of his lower back and then circling there.

Why can't we always be like this? he wondered, but he knew the answer. Because they weren't always like this. Because he was normally never so patient and thoughtful and exhausted as he was now, for one. And he had no idea how Kakashi felt now - if Kakashi was in an odd mood as well, or if it was usually Sasuke's own unpleasant personality that pushed him away.

He had a brief twinge of doubt, that maybe this was something that just wasn't going to work out. That if he was going to have to change to make this work, maybe they'd be best staying as they were: two people who were obviously attracted to each other, but who were never going to close the final gap.

He sighed, and Kakashi slid his hand up, cupped the back of Sasuke's neck. His thumb slid against the base of Sasuke's skull, and the way he looked at Sasuke - warm and direct, his eye roving over Sasuke's face and body - gave Sasuke the nudge he needed.

"Stay for dinner," Sasuke said, and Kakashi gave his neck a little squeeze.

"Not if you're cooking," Kakashi said after a moment, but the jab sounded half-hearted, and he squeezed Sasuke's neck again when he said it... and Sasuke was starting to get the sense that Kakashi was tired of fighting, too.

So Sasuke didn't rise to the bait; instead, he reached a hand out and placed it over Kakashi's other one, where it was resting on the edge of the bath tub.

"You can cook," Sasuke said, and he gave Kakashi's bare hand a similar squeeze. Now that he had done it, it felt a little too forward, a little too personal, and he felt his shoulders tensing up again.

They tensed up more when Kakashi lifted that hand, and Sasuke's stomach sank, and he felt his eyebrows drawing down into a disappointed frown, and he started to jerk his hand away - but Kakashi caught it before he could, and he twined their fingers together, tentatively, awkwardly.

And Sasuke's heart was beating a hundred miles a minute again.

"Okay, I'll cook," Kakashi said, and he ran his fingers through the wet hair at the nape of Sasuke's neck. "I'll stay," he said, his voice quieter, and serious, and then that hand slid down Sasuke's spine again, slow and wet and fingers splaying out, and with a deliberate pressure that gave Sasuke all sorts of pulse-quickening thoughts.

And then Kakashi gave his fingers another squeeze, and, holding on to them, stood to help Sasuke out of the bath.

And Sasuke thought that maybe he had won, after all.
___________________
A/N: This was originally started in comments, for kakasasu4ever's recent B-day ^__^ Then edited up, for the 30 Forbidden Fruits theme Close. I intended for Sasuke to be about 20 or so, kind of after everything that I imagine happens at the end of the series happens, and all the dust has settled - though I didn't really make that clear. I'm not sure if that's important XD

Feedback is always appreciated! ^__^