Finding it Out

Hello,



How are you?



:)



--



If Sasuke had been a bright boy, he would have noticed that Naruto seemed to be more comfortable being in his company than before. He might even have noticed the subtle way Naruto brushed his hair behind his ears and smiled prettily whenever Sasuke looked at him. Yes, if Sasuke had been a bright boy, he might even have noticed the way Naruto’s eyes sparkled in the candlelight and how a soft sigh escaped his lips every now and then.



Now, you might wonder what had caused this sudden change of behaviour in Naruto. Hadn’t he just minutes ago been laughing scornfully at Sasuke’s pink shirt and acted like he wanted to be anywhere but where he currently was? The answer might have been that he in a whim realised that maybe Sasuke wasn’t as bad as he’d thought. But that don’t sound very likely, now does it? A more plausible explanation might have been the empty wine-bottle releasing its last drops of liquid into Naruto’s under-age throat. Not that Naruto was a wino. This was in fact the first time he’d ever tried alcohol, which might explain the rosy cheeks and cheerful mood in a better way. Sasuke had of course refrained from drinking. Not only because he didn’t want to get drunk, but because Naruto basically had adopted the bottle and wouldn’t let anyone else touch it.



These are just a few examples of things Sasuke didn’t think about. He was in fact busy doing what he did best: analyse the situation.



Another thing Sasuke didn’t think about was that he sucked at analysing.



Not that Sasuke was stupid or anything. No, he was an intelligent boy able to solve the most difficult maths problems with just a tiny fraction of his vast knowledge. He could think of at least thirteen things at one time, which in fact is very impressive. Solving a Rubik’s Cube was not even on the `Top ten difficult things to do´ on the list he had in his closet.



But that still didn’t make him socially compatible. While Sasuke sat in his room reading about the problems of the universe, the world kept its steady pace. Things changed: people came up with new words, clothe trends came and went, new genres of music was created and everyone laughed at lolcats.



For someone like Sasuke, the world would have been a better place if things hadn’t changed so quickly: if people didn’t come up with new words quite so often, if clothe trends didn’t exist, if the only genre of music that existed was the classical one and if lolcats had remained unknown to mankind; a place where the common man locked himself in his room every day and read Ulysses. That was Sasuke's utopia.



No wonder then he didn’t notice Naruto’s bashful attempts at gaining attention.



In fact, Sasuke’s undivided attention had that evening been focused on analysing his current situation and assessing his possibilities at making Naruto forget about the incident in the showers. Would this friendly get-together make up for his previous misdeeds? Perhaps they could be friends and just forget about the past. Forgive and forget?



So, what did one do after eating? Sasuke pondered as the two made their way across the street. Should he bid the blonde farewell now or should he try and strike up a conversation by casually asking what Naruto’s favourite colour was?



Perhaps sitting in your room reading James Joyce was not the smartest choice to make if you wanted to be a social lion, but as Sasuke continuously reminded himself of: he was not a quitter.



“So,” he begun, offhandedly motioning with his left hand at nothing in particular, “what’s your favourite colour?”



Naruto didn’t answer for a while. Sasuke didn’t look at him, but instead began humming a tune quietly, not wanting to sound too eager. The cool night air swept past them and ruffled Sasuke's hair a bit. He dragged a hand though his dark locks; completely unaware of the shampoo-model effect it brought forth in him. He almost fell victim to the sin of looking at Naruto when he hadn’t said anything for a minute. Maybe he hadn’t heard him properly. He cleared his throat.



“Orange!” Naruto exclaimed a bit out of breath, “I like orange.” This time though, Sasuke did fall victim to curiosity and glanced to his side. Naruto was looking at him with a glazed look. Perhaps he was ill Sasuke thought and frowned. He certainly didn’t want to be around a diseased person; he might catch whatever the diseased had.



“Really,” he said in a bored tone, walking a bit further away from his companion. If he sounded enough like a drawling aristocrat, maybe it would make him the dominating force, and since the domination one always set the rules, he could mend this into whatever he wanted it to be. So, what should he ask next? Make it seem friendly, “Favourite animal?”



“Sperm whale,” was Naruto’s all too quick reply. Sperm whale? Sasuke thought and deepened his frown. He certainly hadn’t expected that. Was it a disguise or did he really like the sperm whale? But he shouldn’t get hung up on these sorts of things. “Favourite food?”



“Ramen.” Ugh, gross…



“Favourite film?”



“Shrek.” Shrek? What was he, four?



“Favourite music?”



“George Michael” Sasuke paused for a moment there. George Michael? Well, yet again the idiot managed to surprise him with his random responses. It almost seemed as if he didn’t seen think about what he said… which was a bit odd considering he had a reputation too. Did he want other people to know he liked George Michael?



“Right, hobbies?”



“Fishing.” … Fishing? For real?



Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and suppressed a sigh. Naruto was not just a retard; he was a retard with strange taste. No wonder Sasuke never had bothered trying to get to know him before. If things kept going in this direction, he was doomed to fail. Naruto would tell everyone about the shower incident and Sasuke would either have to move far, far away or assassinate everyone who knew about it. And to be frank, he didn’t really want to be a serial killer.



Now, if Sasuke would have been a bright boy, he might have noticed that Naruto had answered each and every one of his questions without complaint. This could have been a revelation worthy of his attention and even been the turning point in their current awkward relationship. Not that Sasuke was an idiot, as earlier concluded, but to make it blunt: he was about as attentive as a guppy. But since he didn’t know this, the interrogation proceeded. However, since Sasuke figured it was useless asking Naruto about trifle tings such as what he liked to eat, he decided to change strategy.



“Family?”



“…Dead.” Sasuke frowned. Why hadn’t he known that? Perhaps he shouldn’t have asked that. Maybe Naruto thought he was insensitive. That would not be good. Especially not since his reputation was on the line.



“Oh…” he said, at least trying to sound condoling. Because it’s not like he really cared or so… He just had to fake the `oh I’m so sorry´ and then Naruto would totally forget all about the showers and everything would be back to normal. Except he would have a stalker since the blonde obviously would be worshipping the ground Sasuke was walking on when he was done. That would kind of suck, but as they say: for the greater good. As long as he didn’t have to hear about him being a rapist, he could handle it.



“Yeah, they died when I was still a baby.” Sasuke might have wondered why Naruto had decided to be so open about, well, everything, but as he was who he was, he merely nodded and thought about what a lovely evening it was.



“I’m sorry to hear.”



“Really? You are? You’re such a nice guy Sasuke!” Which was a bit weird for Sasuke to hear, and therefore caused him to glance at Naruto from the corner of his eyes. He suddenly noticed how slightly slurry Naruto’s way of speaking had become. But that could have just been a side effect from the lobster he had tried scaling with his teeth.



But now that he looked even closer, was the hazy look in Naruto’s eyes for real? And then Sasuke started to wonder what he’d done; why was Naruto acting all weird? Was Naruto going crazy?



No, not an idiot, just socially incompatible.



“I should go home now” Naruto suddenly announced, twisting a bit to the left. He glanced shyly at Sasuke and blinked a few times.



“Oh… well, okay.” Whatever, maybe it had just been the weird light. So, maybe this was a good sign. Maybe thing would be alright now. They would go home and forget about this and it would be as if the shower incident never happened. The rumours would go away and everything would be back to normal. Sasuke would be that strange guy who really didn’t talk to anyone and Naruto would be the retard he was born to be. Sometimes they’d quarrel and Sasuke would call him an idiot. Naruto would retort by throwing a fist at him, but Sasuke would just nimbly move his face so that he’d miss it and Naruto would yell some obscenities while getting all flustered and then maybe trying to kick Sasuke when he thought he wasn’t paying attention. Then a teacher would come and tell Naruto what a disgrace he was being to the school and give him detention or something. Sasuke would be patted on the head and told what a good boy he was that didn’t hit back. Then Sasuke would go home and read James Joyce in the solitude of his room. His mother would ask him why he never brought any friends home but he would just tell her that he liked being alone, just as much as Ferdinand liked smelling the flowers. Things would be the way they always had been. Lovely, wasn’t it?



“So…” Naruto said and licked his lips, “good night?”



“Eh… Yes.” Now what was he supposed to do? Walk away? Naruto seemed as if he expected something. A good bye perhaps? “Bye then…” No? Did he look disappointed? Did he expect a present? Like chocolate? No, of course not. Sasuke had paid for the food, he hadn’t been insulting Naruto’s intelligence and he had nodded appropriately, humming every now and then when Naruto had rambled something about his `awesome summer´; really, what more could he ask for?



“A kiss?”



“What?”



“A… A goodnight kiss?”



Well, well, well, what did we have here? Mission accomplished? Sasuke was a genius – a true genius. Not only had he made Naruto forget about the incident in the showers, but he had in the process made the blonde idiot fall head over heels in love with him. If this wasn’t a ticket away from the `I’m-a-rapist´ label he’d gotten, then god knows what was.



So the question now was: was he going to feed Naruto’s love-bleb by kissing him, or should he `play hard to get´? The last mentioned was over a long term probably not the best way to go since it could backfire and make Naruto want to avenge him by spreading the rapist rumour. That would suck.



But if he kissed Naruto, he would have a blonde idiot after him all day long like 24/7. Would they be like… y’know… boyfriends? Sasuke didn’t want a boyfriend. Okay, so maybe he was turned on by guy’s butts, but that didn’t make him gay. And despite the fact that he was on a mission to seduce a guy, it’s not like he enjoyed doing it. He only did it to save his own skin.



But whatever, right? Maybe they could work out some sort of agreement. Like, only be friends. Sasuke wouldn’t actually mind having Naruto as a friend. Then he wouldn’t have to dodge them lousy excuses for punches and he wouldn’t have to glare menacingly at him whenever they walked past one another, because despite how easy he made it look like, it got kind of tedious after a while. It would be awesome not having to do that.



So hesitantly, Sasuke leaned forwards and placed his lips on Naruto’s.



A quick affair before he leaned backwards again and straightened his back. “Well, goodnight then!” he said a bit too loudly and turned around. Nothing the blonde would ever say could make Sasuke turn back again. He briskly walked in the direction of his house, continuously wiping his mouth and spitting on the ground, telling himself he’d definitely not enjoyed that.



Which he of course hadn’t.



--



And so, the next day at school shouldn’t have been weird. At all.



Unfortunately, things were not always they way they seemed. Sometimes you got turned on by a guy’s ass and sometimes you get hit in the head with a dictionary by the same guy. Those two exact things actually happened to Sasuke. Not simultaneously or even on the same day, but they happened none the less. In fact, the last mentioned happened to occur a week after the first one.



As soon as Sasuke stepped inside the school, he was almost knocked unconscious. He didn’t even have time to see what hit him before his world began spinning and tiny people started to appear in front of his closed eyes telling him to stay out of the bright light at the end of the dark tunnel. Not that it was a killing blow, but because the head is a very sensitive part of your body and hitting it hard enough can cause life-long detriment.



Luckily enough for Sasuke, all he got was a nasty dint and an appointment with the school nurse. She told him he’d be alright and shooed him out from her office. Bitch, he thought as she slammed the door in his face. He felt really dizzy and didn’t want to learn anything. Then he remembered that he was supposed to go to the principal’s office. But that only made his head ache even more. Perhaps because he’d have to see Naruto. He didn’t really want to do that. The guy was giving ambiguous messages with his bipolar behaviour. What did he want? To kiss or to kill?



So when he got to the principal’s office, he told her that Naruto had hit him in the head and how ill he was feeling. He even remembered to clutch his head every now and then, moaning in pain and squeezing his eyes shut. This seemed to strike just the right chord in the woman; she looked sadly at him before turning to Naruto, sitting beside him looking grumpy. “He started it!” the blonde boy exclaimed and pointed a finger at Sasuke. This was of course a total and utter lie, which the principal also seemed to notice.



“You…” she began, voice trembling in suppressed anger, “Do you know what you’ve done?”



“Of cou—“



“You! You could have injured him for life! You could have… killed him!”



Naruto had been very unfriendly and sneered at the principal. Sasuke had silently been gloating at Naruto’s misery, but of course not showing it. The whole ordeal had ended with Naruto getting a serious reprimand, a sort of warning that if he did it again, he’d definitely be expelled. The principal had cooed some more with Sasuke, something he felt a little bit disgusted by, but pretended to enjoy just so that he could see the infuriated look on Naruto’s face. This somehow compensated for the humiliation of having been hit in the head with a dictionary.



Naruto had refused to squeeze out why he did it, but Sasuke had a vague idea about his motives. To him, it must obviously have felt strange to be attracted to a guy, and he was trying to suppress his feelings. Why he was being such an ass about it was sort of a mystery to Sasuke though. But instead of being mean, Sasuke decided to act a bit more like the human he in fact was born as. This included looking Naruto deeply in the eyes before in a serious, yet `I understand you´ kind of way ask “How are you feeling?”



This hadn’t gone too well.



--



Three hours and another five or so dents in the head later, Sasuke sat on his bed trying to think of plausible explanation as to why Naruto was as violent as he’d been. And right about then, he figured he should hire an interpreter; someone who could explain the behaviour of common people in a way Sasuke would understand.



Only, who was good at that?



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Too short? Recently, I've adapted a liking to shorter things. I also like people who tell me what they think. I'm actually, believe it or not, trying to become a better writer. You don't have to review if you don't want to but it'd make me happy. :)