A Caring brother

First off! This is NOT Beta-read and English is not my native language so please bare with me. The two betas I have are mia and loa atm. I have the tendency to run long sentences here and there but please try not to mind that! I try my best when my muse hits me so please be gentle when it comes to grammar and sentence issues :p
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CHAPTER VI
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Gaara found himself standing on one of the sand cliffs surrounding Suna by a small mountain peak quite a bit from any guards or people in general. He knew because the only chackra reading he could sense, was his company still holding him when all he wanted to do was fall to the mountain floor and break in little pieces where he stood with eyes still closed.

"Gaara… Gaara, breathe. Focus, listen to me... focus!"

The hands that were holding his shoulders moved up to cup his cheeks, wanting him to look up and meet the eyes that were without a doubt watching him. He kept his eyes clenched shut for a while but after a moment he did what he was asked to do and opened his eyes. Seafoam colored eyes looked haunted and almost panicked when they met the dark familiar eyes before him.

"I… I can't do this!"

His voice came out more shaking than he had wanted but he couldn't do anything about that now, it was already too late now anyway. The strong arms pulled him into a warm embrace and yet again, Gaara tried to choke a sob and a whimper but didn't quite make it.

"Ssh.. ssh… easy now. You [i]can[/i] do this, I'm with you all the way. I'm not going anywhere, just lean on me when you need to."

Gaara's head leaned into the well shaped chest, inhaling the familiar scent just as he felt himself break inside. He shook his head as tears welled up even though he tried to choke them down but it was harder than he would have liked and decided he'd just let himself go with it, to release the pain inside.

"There now… I'm with you Otouto"

A hand stroked his hair just like a week ago while he was held tightly towards his brother's body. It didn't take long before Gaara's arms wrapped around his form from having his hands clenched in his hair in panic.

"It's too much! The silence is too much!"

"You can do this Gaara… Trust me. I believe in you"

Kankuro's voice was soft and comforting while his hand was still running through his baby-brother's hair while Gaara cried more than he had ever cried for a lifetime and he couldn't do anything to stop it either. Right now he was so far away from being the kazekage that he could possibly get but Kankuro didn't seem to care in the least.

"Let's sit down for a while… okay?"

A nod was felt against his chest and the puppet master kneeled down and took Gaara with him as he did, keeping him close to him so they kept hugging when they sat down behind the protecting cliff where no one could see them.

"Just let it out Gaara… just let everything out, I'm here with you"

He repeated, wanting to make sure his baby brother really understood that he wasn't going to leave him or think less of him because he was crying and showing emotion in the open. As suspected, Kankuro had understood that Gaara did indeed let out feelings when he was alone, but never around people to keep the cold hard shell around him that he was known for but now it seemed he could barely keep himself together around anyone instead, including himself and Temari. He had never seen him cry though, only training furiously when something was bothering him, that was however another kind of release of feelings.

"There now… you're not alone, I'm here and I'm not leaving..."

Kankuro repeated and rocked his baby brother while he cried; sitting with crossed legs and Gaara in front of him with his legs to Kankuro's right somewhat over Kankuro's leg and his arms wrapping around his big brother, clenching his black suna shirt on the back. The puppet master was softly hoping that his little words of support and reassurance would help the redhead trust him more. So far Kankuro was the only person that had gotten this close to him since Gaara was six and had killed his uncle Yashamaru and that was ten years ago now. To be honest he could only thank Uzumaki Naruto for that, if it hadn't been for that chuunin exam and the fight in the forest outside of Konoha Gaara would never have gotten a new view of life and would have remained cold, emotionless and killing to feel alive.

"why…"

A soft, broken mumble that caused the puppet master to hold his brother even closer than before.

"Because I'm your brother and I love you, I would never give up on you... ever."

"…love?"

The word was muffled by his shirt but seafoam colored eyes soon looked up at him, questioning him while another tear fell from the corner of Gaara's left eye. The sight just caused Kankuro to want to kiss him. He looked so vulnerable, so broken so… so lost. A gloved hand with free fingertips let the thumb trace over the tear, wiping it off while they gazed into each other's eyes with only a few inches apart.

"Yes… love."

"Why love..?"

"Because that is what you do with people you care so deeply for that you could give your life for them without even hesitating once"

"Y-… you would do that… for me?"

"Yes, I would. Without even blinking"

A soft sob was heard soon followed with a sigh before Gaara leaned back to rest his forehead by Kankuro's left shoulder, moving his arms to his chest instead of around his brother but gripping the front of his shirt. The puppet master kissed the top of Gaara's head while letting his right hand run through the red hair, his left hand wrapping around the lithe back of the body that was his brother.

"I don't understand love… but I need it, I know that now…"

A pause as the wind softly ran its caress over them.

"Uzumaki Naruto told me that… a-and … I don't want to be alone anymore. The silence is so deafening!"

A pale hand came back to grip tufts of red by the left temple but a hand was there to take it away, to spare that beautiful red hair.

"You're not alone. I told you. I'm here with you... I'm not leaving. Maybe someday you get use to the silence or it gets filled with something else."

"…you promise?"

Seafoam colored eyes searched deep, dark ones for the answer. At that instant Kankuro really saw how hungry Gaara was to be loved, to love and to feel he was something more but the tool of violence their father had hoped he'd be.

"I promise"

He couldn't help it. They were so close, it was just about an inch between their lips and all of a sudden he had leaned down and their lips met before he even knew it. Gaara gasped through his nose and instantly closed his eyes. The kiss was brief but it was still there and it made the redhead pause in his panicked state, his body seemed to relax a bit by lips softly touching.

Kankuro closed his eyes as well, it felt like he was in a dream, this couldn't be real! He was kissing his brother straight on the lips and he didn't protest? A soft whimper from Gaara that sounded like a choked sob caused the puppet master to break the kiss and looked down at Gaara before he bit his lower lip.

"I…I'm sorry… I shouldn't have done that…"

"why?... I-Isn't this what people do… when… when they….. love…?"

Gaara's black rimmed eyes looked up at him again and Kankuro swallowed.

"umh… well, yes… They do but.. we're brothers it doesn't really apply to us. We probably shouldn't tell anyone about this either, especially not Temari…"

"Why?"

"Because we share a blood bond… it's wrong."

He found himself quite embarrassed now but Kankuro also felt the need to answer Gaara's questions when he asked and answer them truthfully.

"Why?... I- I need this… Kankuro.. I…"

Gaara's words trailed off and he closed his eyes again before lowering his head, still leaning the side of it on his brother's shoulder.

"I'm not sure Gaara…Maybe you have someone else you love that could let you have this? People would look at us very badly if they saw anything like this…our branches are too close to each other on the kinship tree I was talking about a week ago, you remember?"

Gaara nodded quietly before he turned his head towards his brother's chest again, letting his left hand grip his shirt by his face to try and hide it in the fabric.

"No, there is no one else…"

He paused and another tear made its way down his cheek before he hid his face partly in Kankuro's shirt again, he swallowed before he spoke again.

So… society denies me this too..? This… this… 'Love'… Society damns me no matter what I do…"

"oh… Gaara…"

Kankuro wrapped his arms tighter around his baby brother, wishing that he could somehow help his brother but as far as he knew, his brother had never even been with anyone in anything that could even begin to be called a romantic relationship. To be honest he had never even seen Gaara kiss anyone either. Had Kankuro just given Gaara his first kiss? It had never even dawned on him that that could be the case. Horrified he bit his lip at the thought but continued to rock his brother in his arms as if nothing was wrong, all while his shirt got stained with warm, salty tears.

"ssh ssh... there now... I'm here..."