Lightning Field

Half light breaks with nothing wrong
Just a corner of my bed where you don't belong
It's kind of you to notice no one's dying
You had your last laugh almost crying
It's just your half life long to know
And if you need a reason so it goes
-Sneaker Pimps "Half Life"

Chapter 6: Half-Life


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"Don't think so. Goodbye, Kakashi," Sakura replied derisively. She spun, her heart aching, and used the ball of her foot to gently close the door in Kakashi's masked face. She dared not look at him lest she see something she couldn't deal with, whether it be anger or loneliness.

Sakura padded toward her couch, pretending she hadn't just close the door in the face of the man she loved, and plopped down. Her takeout sat open on her TV tray, her movie remained paused, and she considered what she had just done. Step one in possibly getting over him, complete.

Picking up her remote, she unpaused her movie and resumed eating her Korean barbeque. She knew Kakashi was still outside her door, wondering what the hell just happened. Sakura tried her best to concentrate on the film, something about a girl stuck in a military fallout with three of her friends, but when she felt his chakra signature ebb away, her focus waned.

She would be gone the next morning; the only contact with Konoha would be through the letters she would be sending to her 'family' referring to her success in Kyoko. She had worked it out with Tsunade so any pertinent information would be relayed to Naruto. When he and Kakashi would see her next, six months will have passed.

An overwhelming feeling of loss overtook the green-eyed girl. With a sigh, she flicked the power button on her remote, and tossed her chopsticks back into the container. "Fuck this," she said to herself, "I'm going to bed." She dropped her garbage in the disposal beneath her sink, washed her dishes, and turned off the lights before travelling through her shoji doors to her room.


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Her alarm blared her wake-up call at five-thirty the next morning, and she pounded it into silence. Not one to waste time, especially on the morning of a mission, Sakura rose and began to undress her bed down to bare mattress, and finally laid a sheet over the whole thing. Her sheets, she tossed in the hamper by her bathroom door. She hopped in the shower and wasted no time on frivolous things like conditioning. She would have a four day walk ahead of her; great hair would be the least of her worries.

When Sakura exited her bathroom, she quickly donned her new clothes and regarded her appearance in the mirror. Wasting no time, she double-checked her pack, put on some heavy kohl and grey/purple shadow, and slipped on her heeled boots. After having a bit of a fashion show the night before with Ino, it had been decided her own ninja footwear would suit her new persona nicely. In her own mine, she conceded that they were at least comfortable and were probably the only fashionable thing she owned.

As she reached her front door, she turned and gave her home of the last five years a once-over. Her kitchen sat off to the left, a true open-concept design. It's standard Formica counter bore the burn mark from fondue gone wrong at a hen party she had thrown two years back. She could remember Hinata's unladylike cursing when the heating candle tipped and some of the oil caught on fire. Sakura bit back a laugh as she recalled the village's most dangerous konoichis running around her apartment, screaming for towels and water. When Sakura calmly poured baking soda on the mess with a wry smirk, every other woman there, from Kurenai to Moegi, was blushing hotly.

Her eyes moved to regard the attached living room, only separated by the kitchen bar. Her worn green couch served as a reminder of Naruto's frequent ramen binges at her house, when he would gorge himself and pass out within minutes. She would be left to cover his unmoving lump of a body with her old quilt- something that had survived her childhood and adolescence, but just barely.

Her eyes shifted against her will to regard the throw rug at the foot of the couch. The memory came unbidden, but she couldn't help the mist that shrouded her eyes, turning them glassy.

Kakashi had come to her, then. It had been her first solo mission; an infiltration into Amegakure to obtain the poison that was killing Leaf shinobi on the front lines at the end of the most recent Ninja War. She had been sitting on her overstuffed couch, sharpening her kunai, when a knock sounded at her door. Sakura remembered placing her tools on her coffee table, curious as to who would be visiting her at near midnight.

She eyed out her peephole and almost immediately pulled her head back, slamming her hand against her heart. She took a moment to calm her breathing, and shook her head, eyes closed. Opening the door slowly, Sakura furtively met his uncovered eye. "Kakashi?"

He seemed to be as confused as she was as to why he was there. He nervously scratched his head, a habit he would never quite be able to get rid of, and bestowed an eye crinkle onto the perplexed konoichi. "I was… in the neighborhood…"

No sooner had he stepped inside and shut the door were they in each other's arms.

When she had awoken in the morning, he was gone. To Sakura, waking up alone was more painful than being in love with a man who did not love her back.

Steeling her reserve, she spun on her heel and opened the door. Sakura was sure of one thing; she needed this. Leaving Konoha at this point would be the best thing for her… eventually.

She took her time approaching the gates, mindful of all the memories around her. Ichiraku brought a smirk to her face, lightening her features exponentially. The small café where Ino spilled the beans about her supposed relationship with one Inuzuka Kiba made her suppress the bubbling giggle aching to leave her throat. Her footsteps slowed when the gatepost came into view. There, in front of the spots Izumo and Kotetsu normally napped, stood most of the genin class of her year. The Rookies, as they were known, all milled about chattering loudly. Sakura stopped dead in her tracks when she realized they were there for her.

"Hey! Forehead! Don't keep us waiting any longer! We've been here for an hour waiting for you!" Ino's shrill chastisement echoed across the large courtyard. Her face burned when everyone turned to look at her.

Finally finding her voice, she screeched back, "Pig! Shut your huge mouth or flies will get in!" A small amount of satisfaction accompanied the snap of Ino's mouth slamming shut. Everyone laughed and clapped Sakura on the back as she surged forward to meet the group.

After many heartfelt goodbyes, including a tearful one from Ino, Sakura was off. Disappointment was set in her shoulders, her form stiff as she faded into the distance.

He sighed at the back of his former student turned lover. Had she stuck to his teachings, she would have noticed him atop the roof of an apartment complex nearby. He continued to watch her retreating form until well after she was out of sight. A feeling of immense emptiness filled him, unexplained and unwanted.

Kakashi had the strangest feeling this would be the last time in a long time he would see her smile.


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Ack! Depressing! It's okay, the next chapters will make up for it.