Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: September 10th 2007, Monday
second version: December 30th 2008, Tuesday

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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

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63: Ground

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Naruto was having a great dream. He was sitting on the edge of a skyscraper and it was the tallest skyscraper ever, he was sure. Above him were nothing but clouds and sky and an occasional bird. It was as quiet as it could be this high up where there was nothing but him and the clouds and sky and occasional bird. The wind came to whistle softly in his ears now and then, but that was about it. Not even his feet hitting the concrete as he kicked with his legs made sounds. If he were to think about it, why his feet didn’t make sounds, it would make him frown and get confused; and that would most likely wake him up; so he didn’t think about it. This was a great dream after all. Naruto could see the houses and smaller skyscrapers if he looked down and they weren’t bigger than bugs it seemed. The cars weren’t even visible. If you squinted really hard you might see a crawling blur, like a trail of wandering lice or something, only smaller; that might be those cars. But it wasn’t the view really that made the dream so great. It was the feeling on the inside. Naruto was feeling something. It was warm and fuzzy and it went really well together with his stomach. His stomach liked it very much, that feeling. He just couldn’t stop grinning.

Then Sasuke was there. Beautiful, amazing Sasuke stood on the edge next to Naruto; his hair somehow managed to flow in the air and his skin sparkled and his being was glowing. His clothes were black but the color had never seemed so bright- Naruto grabbed onto Sasuke’s leg and Sasuke folded himself to wrap his very self around Naruto. Such relief, such warmth and such brightness. They were together. Finally. Sasuke crouched down and looked into Naruto’s eyes. He was smiling with his entire face, eyes and mouth and everything. If it hadn’t been a dream, Naruto wouldn’t have believed it.

“Let’s go,” Sasuke said.

Naruto grinned.

“Yeah!”

He took Sasuke’s hand and let himself be pulled to his feet. For a second he was absolutely terrified as Sasuke stepped off the building, out into the air, but the second after he remembered that this was the walkable air that came with all tallest skyscrapers ever. He felt stupid for forgetting.

“We’re going to the beach, aren’t we?” Naruto asked as they walked, hand in hand, toward the ground.

“Yeah,” Sasuke said and looked over his shoulder, still smiling that amazing smile with his whole face and still glowing like he was one those holy guys that people worshipped. “I’m going to ride you until you wake up.”

Naruto almost stumbled in the air as the thought ran through him. Lying on his back with Sasuke seated on top of him, the beautiful bare legs pressed to his sides and Sasuke’s insides pressed hard around him. Sasuke moving. His stomach muscles clenching and hips rolling, eyes closed and forehead wrinkled and mouth half-open, in bliss. His skin was glistening from sweat because he was so eager and moved so fervently.

Oh yes.

“Alright!” Naruto almost shouted and willed their pace to increase considerably. Yes, Sasuke had said ‘until you wake up’, which would indicate that he wouldn’t wake up before Sasuke had gotten those bright, black clothes off his amazing body and let Naruto come into him, but you couldn’t trust dreams. Dreams could change in a second, without notice or a chance to refuse to have it changed. Dreams were fickle, annoying things that...

Unless they made it to that beach in time, of course. If they made it to that beach, dreams were kick ass things that ruled the world. They just had to...

“No, he is not,” a voice said behind them and they had to stop. Somehow they had already arrived at the ground and stood on a street in the city. There were people around them and cars and shops but everything was a blur compared to that voice and Sasuke’s hand in Naruto’s.

Naruto’s insides were curled in chill. He slowly looked over his shoulder and yes, there Iruka was, standing five seconds of running behind them looking... so angry that Naruto wished it was five years of running instead of seconds. His mind was chaos incarnate; which sort of made it a good thing that his body seemed unable to obey the commands being thrown at it. ‘Run!’, ‘Curl up and die!’, ‘Say something!’, ‘Start screaming!’, ‘Blame Sasuke!’, ‘Start crying!’

Stupid mind. But what did you do?

For a moment nothing happened. They stood there. Iruka was angry. Naruto’s mind was crazy; and his heart too. Sasuke’s hand was warm. Then clarity and determination came all at once and when it was there everything felt so obvious that it was hard to believe that that first doubt had been at all. Naruto turned around and turned Sasuke with him by the hand.

“Yes he is,” he said. “We’re going to the beach and we’re going to have sex and it doesn’t matter if you hate it.”

The people and cars around them had disappeared, as things tended to do in dreams when it was time. Naruto felt strong. Sasuke’s hand was warm.

“Naruto,” Iruka said. He came closer.

“No,” Naruto said and stood still and squeezed the hand in his.

“Naruto, wake up.”

“No! I am up. You just don’t want us to...! I... I am...”

Naruto frowned. Wait a minute... He wasn’t up.

At that moment Sasuke hissed Naruto’s name and what felt much like an angry elbow connected with the side of his head. Naruto was snatched from the dream city street with disappeared cars and people and Sasuke’s warm hand and landed on a mattress with a warm blanket over him and his face buried between a pillow and warm, slightly moist skin.

“Ow,” he slurred/mumbled as his consciousness crawled its way through the rude, irritating waking up process. “What?”

And it had been such a good dream, with such good potential. The beach, sun, sand. Sasuke. Sex. He should have been there now, should have been there, if it hadn’t been for that frustrating, spoiler of all fun...

“You’re both grounded,” Iruka said.

Naruto’s eyes flew open and he hit his head again on Sasuke’s angry elbow as he struggled to sit up. Yes. There he was. He was not at all unlike the Iruka in the dream, only this real one seemed much closer and somehow even more angry. There was something in his eyes. The living room was bright with morning sun and Naruto found it hurt his eyes. His head throbbed where Sasuke’s elbow had connected twice. It was a quite welcome hurt however, as it took some of the attention away from the other parts of the situation.

Sasuke sat under the blanket next to Naruto, closer to Iruka than Naruto was. He was not entirely sunshine, Naruto knew Sasuke enough by now to know that. And even if he hadn’t known Sasuke that well, the angry elbow, the angry hissing before and the rigidness of the beautiful, quite naked body said more than enough. The menacing energy hitting Naruto in wave after wave, making him want to scratch his skin, did not confuse things. No, Sasuke was not sunshine.

Naruto’s heart was hammering and his mind was going crazy again. One might think that it would be easier to find the right words when he had so recently gone through the same chaotic process, but no. It was not easier this time. Well, the situation wasn’t exactly the same either. Naruto couldn’t use the line he had found last time now. ‘Yes he is’ just didn’t fit. ‘Yes we are’ maybe, but... no. And the stuff about sex and the beach was just murder. Murder of all the rest of the fun Naruto was supposed to have before he became an adult.

What did you do? Couldn’t Sasuke say something?

“F-for... how long?” Naruto croaked eventually, hesitatingly.

Iruka’s eyes narrowed. His arms were crossed over his chest.

“From now on.”

“Okay,” Naruto cleared his throat when the word sounded more like a squeak than a human voice. It was silent and highly uncomfortable and menacing for several more heart beats before Iruka spoke again.

“Get dressed and come to the kitchen.” Then he turned and walked out. The menacing mood did not leave with him however. It was not over. No way. It hadn’t even begun.

As soon as they were alone, Sasuke started groping for his clothes. They were pretty much everywhere and mixed with Naruto’s. Naruto couldn’t help but notice the kissing marks covering the pale skin, as Sasuke leaned over in this direction and that, reaching for pieces of clothing. He’d been that busy, huh? He wondered if Sasuke knew how visible they were; how Iruka must have noticed.

“You’re going like that?” Sasuke muttered without looking at Naruto; shifting, pulling his underwear up his legs. Naruto couldn’t help but watch almost entranced as the cloth went up, hiding the parts of Sasuke that were personal but he had had full access to just hours before.

He wanted to do it again. Now? Was he an idiot?

Naruto’s mind came back to the world when Sasuke threw the blanket off him and pulled his shirt over his head. Naruto acted on instinct. He crawled forward, reached around and turned Sasuke’s head. He pressed a kiss to the lips before he could punch or pull away or snarl. For a moment it seemed like Sasuke would snarl, or pull away anyway; like his muscles wanted to. But he didn’t, and then his body softened and he breathed out through his nose and opened up a little; he gave Naruto’s tongue a small, gentle lick when it came to ask if everything was okay.

They had stayed up last night talking for a long time, about silly things and deeper things, thoughts and happenings, things that shouldn’t matter but mattered anyway because it was them and the after-glow of what they had done. When they eventually fell asleep, Sasuke had had an arm cradling Naruto’s head and Naruto had had his face pressed to Sasuke’s chest. The smell of sex had been close as consciousness drifted away.

The kiss was broken and Naruto pulled back. They looked at each other. The raging heart in Naruto’s chest had slowed down and there was only a soft murmur left of the anxiety that had curled so close to him just seconds before.

“Are you angry?” he whispered.

“No,” Sasuke mumbled. Then he looked frustrated. “Yes. Don’t know at what though.” He sighed softly. “We should have gone home.”

“I know,” Naruto said. “I’ll tell him. It was my...”

“You didn’t tie me to a chair and make me stay.”

“No,” Naruto grumbled. “But...”

“We stayed,” Sasuke looked determined. “It doesn’t matter who came up with the idea. It’s not like we can go back and change our minds anyway.”

Naruto looked into the dark eyes and had to wonder if they were more beautiful now than they had been before. Did sex make people more beautiful?

“I don’t want to go back and change my mind,” he said eventually. “I love what happened here.”

Sasuke looked embarrassed at first, then a tint of win bled through his barriers and formed a small smile on his lips.

“So do I,” he said.

Naruto couldn’t stay unaffected when Sasuke smiled like that, so he smiled as well; he moved closer to those slightly moist, very inviting and smiling-for-him lips. But before he could quite reach, Sasuke started talking.

“It hurts when I move around,” he said in a low voice that seemed somewhat different from how it usually sounded.

Naruto frowned, confused, but before he could say anything Sasuke continued.

“I suppose it’s more a burn than a real hurt. When I put on my clothes. When I move my legs. But it’s not bad.”

There was something in his tone. Something... A Gaara quality, when Gaara was being teasing and frustrating; only here with Sasuke it was... arousing. Naruto supposed that he should think more about the situation and angry Iruka being so close by; but he was a teenager and thus arousing boyfriends would always triumph over angry parents.

“I kind of like it,” Sasuke’s voice had lowered even more and his mouth had found a place just next to Naruto’s ear. “It reminds me of you. Like a part of you is still there.”

Naruto swallowed. There. He really wanted to do it again. Maybe they could... sneak off to the bathroom when no one was looking and... there had been more than just one condom, right? And still plenty of lube left.

Naruto pushed his mouth to Sasuke’s neck; it was close and inviting. One of his hands wandered under Sasuke’s shirt to rest on his side.

Iruka was long gone. The fact that he always got angrier when kept waiting and that he must have driven here in the middle of the night (was Kakashi here as well?) didn’t matter. The kitchen was so far away it was silly.

“I want to still be there.”

“Still?” the amusement in Sasuke’s voice was clear; his skin tightened and pushed up to form goose bumps against Naruto’s lips.

“Yeah,” Naruto mumbled. “I never want to leave.”

“Like a rope,” Sasuke’s words were so low that Naruto didn’t think he had meant to really speak them. Which made sense. It was a strange thing to say. But he understood. He pulled closer and he understood.

“Yeah. Like a rope.”

He could feel Sasuke’s heartbeats.

Iruka said ‘don’t make me say it again,’ in a stern voice, somewhere outside the living room. It brought the tension back somewhat, but not nearly as much as perhaps it should. Naruto smiled. Sasuke’s skin was warm and it was alright. They could put air between each other again; get dressed and move on.

Iruka and Kakashi sat next to each other at the kitchen table, two empty chairs waiting opposite them. The ones that actually lived in the apartment, Shikamaru and his parents, were nowhere to be seen. (What kind of parents were they anyway? Where they never home?). Lee and Gaara weren’t there either and something in the mood told Naruto that they were most unlikely to come to the rescue.

The tension fully returned in the kitchen. The arousal and feeling of alrightness were pushed away by the surge of guilt that came to squeeze Naruto’s heart. Iruka and Kakashi must have found the note when they came back. They must have been happy, smiling, calling Naruto’s name and Sasuke’s and waited but no one had come. Shikamaru must have been right when he said that Kakashi would know who he was. They must have gone way past the speed limits when they drove here. Iruka must have been so worried.

Naruto remembered that time when he had gone to play with Lee after school. They had intended to go straight to Lee’s place and call Iruka, but the woods on the way there had been so much fun and time had moved much faster than usual. Darkness had come faster than it was supposed to. Iruka had been so angry. Gai had seemed to have been confident they were alright, not as easily worried as Iruka was, but Iruka had said you never knew. It didn’t matter how strong or how clever or used to your surroundings you were. Anything could happen, you never knew. The scariest thing for a parent was having your child disappear, Iruka had said.

“Sit down,” Kakashi said. His voice was as serious as the expression on his face and that seriousness matched Iruka’s. It was a first, seeing Kakashi wearing an expression like that. It made the situation even more real and bordering on scary.

Sasuke took the chair closest to the window, opposite Kakashi, and Naruto sat down opposite Iruka. The clock was ticking on the wall. The situation somewhat reminded Naruto of yesterday, when Gaara and Lee and Shikamaru had been sitting here.

“Well then,” Iruka said. “You left the house. You went to the city alone. You’re skipping school.”

Oh yeah. Today was Monday. Huh. Funny how time could fly when you were having... err, fun. Part of Naruto had become suddenly suicidal and wanted to say ‘you forgot having sex and not eating the stuff in the fridge, and freezer. Oh, and consorting with gangs and trespassing.’ Fortunately the rest of him wanted to live and have sex again so it managed to fight down the rebellion. Naruto was fiddling with his hands under the table and his feet refused to stay still.

“Tell us how you think we felt when we came home to find our children gone,” Iruka finished and his eyes grabbed a hold of Naruto’s as if with meat hooks. It hurt physically. But Naruto was suddenly frustrated amongst the guilt; they had known where they were, otherwise they wouldn’t be here, right? And it wasn’t like Iruka knew about the scary things that had happened. It has just been a sleepover. ‘We’re not children anymore!’ he wanted to exclaim. ‘We can take the bus to a friend’s house and sleep over.’

“I... We left a note,” he muttered.

“Oh!” Iruka exclaimed. “That makes it okay? Guess you should tell that to burglars before they steal your Playstation or our car.”

“That... That’s not the same thing! You knew where we were! You’re here, aren’t you?”

“We did not know where you were. We knew where you intended to be. There are countless of dead or missing children that only intended to go to the playground. We set rules for a reason, Naruto.”

Naruto wanted to protest. He wanted to do the ‘we’re not children’ thing and add a ‘could you be a little more dramatic?’ But he couldn’t stop thinking about what had really happened, what Iruka didn’t know of. He was closer to the truth than he knew. It was scary. They could have been killed, couldn’t they? At least Naruto could have been, and Lee and Gaara. It made it difficult to find good arguments.

“It doesn’t matter how confident you are that you can handle yourself,” Iruka’s eyes let Naruto’s go and moved to Sasuke. “You were not allowed.”

“Why are you skipping school?” Kakashi asked and shifted the focus away from Iruka immediately. He had not interrupted, it was just his turn to speak. There was a flow and a unity to the pair on the other side of the table suddenly that was as impressive as it was scary.

“W-well, we...” Naruto’s brain worked frantically. ‘Because I didn’t want the note to be a lie? Because I wanted that sleepover happy ending?’ No, the truth was out of the question. It made no sense. They didn’t know about what had really happened and they shouldn’t. There was no reason to tell them and every reason to keep quiet.

“We... missed the bus,” Naruto lied. “Thought maybe... you’d call when you found out where we were, not drive all the way here.”

“Why did you leave a note if you planned to be home before we returned?” Kakashi asked and Iruka pulled out a very familiar piece of paper. Naruto’s heart started beating as it was unfolded.

“’To Iruka and Kakashi-san,’” Iruka read. “’We’re not here because we’re having a sleepover at Shikamaru’s house.’” He paused and looked at both Sasuke and Naruto before continuing. “’Because he invited us. Don’t worry. We’ll be back soon.’” The note was folded and handed to Kakashi before Iruka finished. “’Naruto.’”

“Why just ‘Naruto’?” Kakashi asked. “Didn’t Sasuke want us to not worry?”

Naruto opened his mouth but found he didn’t know what to say. Why hadn’t he written Sasuke’s name as well? He hadn’t thought about that.

“I... We just...” Naruto threw a glance at Sasuke’s direction but didn’t find any support. His dark fringe hung to cover his eyes and his head was bowed. Naruto swallowed. His eyes flickered back to Iruka, who put his elbows on the table and leaned closer. His eyes were merciless.

“Don’t lie to me, Naruto,” he said slowly.

Naruto’s heart beating drowned out all other sounds. His throat was dried out but he couldn’t even find the strength to swallow. What did you do? What did you...?

“I ran away,” Sasuke said and Iruka’s eyes snapped away from Naruto. The clock started ticking again. Naruto looked and found Sasuke watching Iruka, sometimes moving his gaze to Kakashi.

“Friday night,” he said. “I took money from the kitchen for the bus. When Naruto found out he came to find me.”

“Why did you run away?” Iruka asked. It was hard to tell whether his anger had lessened or grown.

“I needed to think,” Sasuke said. “I was confused. I get like that sometimes, Kakashi knows.”

“Yes,” Kakashi said. “Yes, you do get like that sometimes. But you didn’t come here, did you?”

It was not a question. Iruka frowned and looked at him, then at Sasuke. It was clear that he hadn’t even considered the possibility that Sasuke could have gone somewhere else if they were here now.

“Shikamaru would have talked you into going back if you had,” Kakashi continued. “He would have called me and he would have made you call Naruto so that he didn’t worry. There wouldn’t have been a reason for Naruto to go find you.”

There was some silence before Sasuke answered.

“No. I didn’t come here.”

“Where did you go?” Iruka asked, sounded like his mood was heading downwards again, if it had ever turned to go up.

“Just this... guy,” Sasuke sounded frustrated.

“Iruka, I’ve told you about Sasuke’s gang leader pedophile friend, haven’t I?” Kakashi said.

“What?” Iruka said and Naruto could almost hear the crash as his mood hit the bottom of the deepest mood well ever dug. Sasuke sighed in a sarcastic ‘thank you’ kind of way, cradled his chin in a hand and looked out the window. Naruto tried to not let the pedophile comment get to him. It wasn’t like it was news; the freaky old man had been anything but subtle; but it clawed at his insides anyway. Naruto also tried not to think so much about how much Iruka disliked gangs.

“That is the guy you’re talking about, right?” Kakashi asked, sounded cheerful without being cheerful.

“Yeah,” Sasuke snapped and he looked back to the people looking at him. “You’re right. I went to Orochimaru. I smoked and got drunk and slept on his bathroom floor. He didn’t touch me.”

The last was snarled and he went back to looking out the window.

“This time,” Kakashi said. “You have got to be the most idiotic...”

“Anything else?” Iruka’s hard voice interrupted Kakashi. “Anything else you want to tell us? Since we’re sharing.”

Sasuke looked back at him.

“He gave me a job, for summer next year.”

“Oh no,” Kakashi shook his head and looked amused and furious at the same time. “Not a chance, Sasuke. I’m not letting you near him again.”

Iruka put a hand on his arm.

“We’ll talk about that later,” he said and the tone of his voice left no room for protests from anyone. “Nothing else?”

“We had sex,” Naruto blurted before he could change his mind. It seemed like a good way to spread the responsibility; up until now Sasuke had seemed like the only bad guy and that wasn’t true.

“Twice,” he added. “That was why Sasuke ran away. Err... he ran away because of the first time. The second was... The second time was good.”

Naruto glanced to the side. Sasuke looked surprised but not as upset as Naruto had feared. His cheeks were redder than usual. He had been drunk and slept on a bathroom floor?

“Yeah,” Sasuke said slowly after a while. “Second time was good.”

“And we didn’t eat the food in the fridge or in the freezer,” Naruto said without taking his eyes away from the dark, beautiful eyes of the utterly stunning guy sitting next to him. “That’s it.”

Because the trespassing was part of what Kakashi had already revealed, Naruto decided. For a moment Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other, then they both turned their heads to face the foster fathers on the other side of the table.

“Thank you for being honest,” Iruka said, though he didn’t sound very pleased. “It seems you managed to make a lot stupid choices for just one weekend. Naruto.” The man looked at him. “You should have called us, not run off on your own. And you.” He turned his eyes to Sasuke. “You shouldn’t have run off at all; especially not to people that will ruin your life.”

Iruka straightened in his chair. He took a breath and released it with a sigh.

“You already know you’re grounded,” he said. “We’ll see for how long. While you’re grounded, Naruto, you’re banned from the Playstation. You’re banned from seeing your friends outside of school. You’re banned from Lee’s practice and contests. You will do the dishes every day.”

“Okay,” Naruto sighed. He’d had worse. At least he would have...

“As ’friends’ also include boyfriends, you’re banned from Sasuke’s room too.”

“What?” Naruto whined. “But that’s not...!”

“Sasuke,” Iruka raised his voice and Naruto was ignored. “You are banned from your music. When we get back home your CDs are getting locked up. You’re banned from seeing friends outside of school and you will also do the dishes every day. You’re banned from Naruto’s room.”

Sasuke looked like he thought it had to be a joke; he raised a brow and turned to Kakashi.

“He’s serious, Sasuke,” the man said and Sasuke’s half-amusement ran away as the information sank in.

“And there will be no sex for a month,” Iruka said.

Naruto gasped. Sasuke being banned from his room and Naruto being banned from Sasuke’s had complicated things, but it had still been completely possible to have sex. Outside was a bit too cold now, but there were school and other rooms in the house; the possibilities were endless really if you were desperate enough and Naruto was fairly sure that they were. They were!

“No! You can’t...!”

“Oh, yes I can. You’re lucky I don’t make it a year. Or three.”

“We... We’ll do it anyway! You can’t...!”

“I can,” Iruka said. “You will keep your hands, and all the other parts of your body, outside and away from his pants for a month. You will do that, because if you don’t, I will know and then you will have your year of celibacy.”

“That’s... not fair!” Naruto couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn’t keep away from Sasuke for a month. It was impossible! Even the time they had been apart already was painful. A month? That was like a lifetime! And he knew Iruka was right; he would know. Iruka’s radar totally picked up on stuff like that. He always found out.

“And you will be paying our speeding tickets with your allowance,” Kakashi said and this time the amusement in his voice seemed sincere.

“Speeding tickets?” Sasuke growled. He was not happy, not happy at all. If it was the loss of his CDs or the sex, Naruto didn’t know. Probably both.

“From last night,” Iruka said. “There are two of them. We were in a hurry.”

Naruto gave a deep sigh of ‘I give up’ and let his head fall to the table.

“As for school,” Iruka continued, as if he hadn’t done enough talking already. “I called you in sick. You don’t want to know what you’ve come down with.

Naruto groaned. Maybe they should have gone home after all. They could have had amazing sex at home too. But it was easy to be smart afterwards. No need to get hung up on the ‘what ifs’. It was just... one month. They could kiss; Iruka had said nothing about kissing, right? Kissing could get hot too. Yeah, and they could share fantasies. They could write little naughty letters, Iruka had said nothing about that either. And he had said nothing about staying away from their own pants. They could jerk off together, while kissing, in the living room, or the kitchen or the bathroom; or in the shower. Or in school. While sharing fantasies. All it took was some creativity and Naruto was good at that. Kitchen table sex seemed to be popular in the movies.

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