Into the Fire

Chapter Sixty-Three

“You should have summoned us brat.” Pakkun declared, hopping up on the chair next to the copy-nin’s bed and scrutinizing him carefully.

“How the hell did you get here?” Kakashi mumbled in confusion, looking over the edge of the bed in shock at the assembled pack.

“The old pervert called us.” Tomodachi replied sharply, “And don’t change the subject whelp. Did you have any intention of telling us what happened to you?

“No.” the copy-nin sulked, “It’s none of your concern.”

“Oh really . . . how do you come to that conclusion?” Pakkun growled angrily.

“I am no longer shinobi . . . hence you are no longer bound by our agreement.” Kakashi declared bluntly, “In fact, you might as well just go back to Jiraiya . . . obviously you listen to him better than you do to me.”

“It doesn’t work that way pup.” Bull rumbled from the end of the bed, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with us, the agreement can only be severed by death.”

“I assume you mean mine.” the copy-nin commented wryly, “I imagine it can be arranged.”

“That is enough.” the massive hound growled menacingly, “We’re not just going to stand here and let you joke about dying . . . not when we’ve spent so many years protecting you from just that. We may not be real, but we have feelings.”

“We’re real, idiot.” Akane sneered, “We’re just not real dogs.”

“Whatever.” Bull grunted in frustration, “The fact of the matter is we have a right to know what’s happening with you, like it or not.”

“Well, it’s not going to be very interesting.” Kakashi replied laconically, “Sitting around, watching me do nothing all day . . . I’d advise against it.”

“Look boss, if you just tell us what the problem is we’ll take care of it for you.” Pakkun suggested, “Just like we took care of that fool who attacked you.”

“What did you do?” the copy-nin growled angrily, “I specifically made everyone promise . . . except Jiraiya . . . shit.” he exclaimed, “Kankuro was Gaara’s brother, you idiots . . . how the hell do you fix this, you just set diplomatic relations back fifty years.”

“He didn’t even taste that good . . . tough and kind of stringy.” Uuhei added helpfully.

“Go get Jiraiya to feed you.” Kakashi demanded with a huff, “Get out of my sight for a while.”

“But boss . . .” Bull grumbled.

“Just go.” the copy-nin roared angrily, glaring at the retreating pack until the door swung shut behind the last of them. “Did you know about this?” he asked the watchful interrogator.

“No . . . but I can’t say I’m unhappy about it.” Ibiki responded honestly, “The bastard almost killed you ‘kashi, I hope he suffered.”

“What I had to do to secure the treaties in the first place almost killed me too.” the bedridden jounin murmured brokenly, “I wouldn’t want to have to do it again.”

“You will never do anything like that again.” the scarred man growled threateningly.

“I know . . . no one wants a broken toy.” the copy-nin replied mournfully, “Do you think Namiashi-san would come talk to me?” he asked suddenly, abruptly changing the subject and derailing Ibiki’s train of thought.

“I’m sure anyone you like will be happy to come and talk to you, sweetheart.” the interrogator muttered soothingly, “Shall I send for him?”

“Yes, please.” Kakashi whispered sadly, settling back to wait for Raidou and the discussion he didn’t want to have.

As soon as Ibiki returned with Raidou in tow the copy-nin sent the interrogator off on an errand before turning and addressing the now nervous jounin. “So Namiashi-san,” Kakashi began almost hesitantly, “I’d like to talk to you about your relationship with Gaara.”

“Of course Kakashi . . . I realize I rushed in with a marriage proposal and I should have talked to you first.” a nervous Raidou babbled almost frantically, “I hope I didn’t offend you, it’s just . . . that bastard Kankuro came in and threatened Gaara with an arranged marriage, I didn’t want to risk losing him.”

“I understand completely . . . that’s not exactly what I meant.” the silver-haired man explained haltingly, “This is . . . awkward, so I’m just going to say it. Would you consider breaking it off with Gaara and returning to Konoha if there was someone there for you?”

“What are you saying Kakashi?” Raidou asked suspiciously.

“Ibiki needs someone now that I . . . I can’t be what he needs. You two would get along really well . . . and he’s amazing in bed, if you don’t believe me ask your friends Genma and Iruka . . . you could have foursomes together.” the copy-nin continued bitterly, “You wouldn’t have to leave your home and your friends behind just to be happy.”

“And what does Morino-san have to say about this plan of yours?” Raidou inquired soberly.

“I haven’t told him . . . anymore than I told Gaara before I set you two up. In actuality I’m a lot easier to replace than they imagine I will be. Once Ibiki realizes how much better off he is . . . let’s just say I’m confident everything will work out.” Kakashi explained.

“So am I.” Raidou replied confidently, “I’m staying here . . . please don’t think I’m unappreciative Hatake-san, you have again, made me a most generous offer, and it is very tempting, I will admit . . . but I don’t think Ibiki would agree to it. Besides,” he continued with a wide smile, “Gaara and I are very happy together . . . if I did as you asked he would be alone again.”

“I actually have someone in mind . . . and he’s much closer to Gaara-sama’s age, no offense Namiashi-san.” the copy-nin continued smoothly, “I would never have asked you here if I had known how everything would turn out.”

“I should have known you’d have it all planned out.” Raidou said with admiration, “Still, I think I’d just as soon leave things as they are Hatake-san.”

“That’s alright, I had a feeling it was too late.” the copy-nin replied sadly, “Maybe it can work the other way . . . I’ll have to try and set it up when everyone gets back to Konoha.”

“You’re going back then?” Raidou asked cautiously.

“For a while . . . I need to settle some things . . . and I’d like to see Ibiki happy with someone. Once that’s taken care of though . . . let’s just say I don’t want to stick around to watch.” Kakashi explained, “I’m getting tired Namiashi-san, maybe we could speak again another time. And please, accept my apology for my inappropriate suggestion . . . I was only trying to find a solution where everyone was happy.”

“No offense taken Hatake-san.” Raidou responded with a smile, “I’ll stop back and visit you soon.”

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him Raidou hustled a startled Ibiki down the hall, looking around suspiciously before whispering in the interrogator’s ear. “You need to keep an eye on Hatake-san . . . he’s planning on setting you up with someone and leaving Konoha.” he hastily explained, “Whoever it is he has them all picked out. Kakashi is a very determined man, he won’t give up easily so you need to be on your guard . . . assuming, that is, that you aren’t interested in replacing him.”

“Of course not.” Ibiki growled angrily, “I have no intention of giving him up . . . I just need to find a way to convince him of that fact.”

“It’s more than that.” Raidou declared confidently, “He wants what’s best for you . . . and he’s convinced that can never be him. If you want Kakashi you first have to convince him that he’s worthy of being loved . . . and I don’t think that will be easy.”

“Well then, I guess I should get started.” the interrogator declared, “Thank you for confiding in me Namiashi-san, I appreciate it more than you know.”

“Make him happy Morino-san . . . that’s all the thanks I want.” Raidou explained thoughtfully, “Don’t let him run away from everyone who cares for him.”

“I won’t.” Ibiki stated grimly, “This foolishness stops now.” He stalked down the corridor and back into Kakashi’s room, shutting the door firmly behind him and striding over to loom next to the bed, counting to ten in his head three times to control his temper before addressing the bedridden jounin.

“‘Kashi, we need to get some things straight.” he declared forcefully, “When you recover I will be taking you back to Konoha and we will be moving back into your house . . . just like before all this business with the Mizukage came up . . . and things are going to go back to the way they were. I am not giving you up. I have no interest in anyone else, and I will respond badly to any attempts to set me up with other men . . . or women, for that matter. I love you, really, truly, love you . . . and it has nothing to do with sex.”

“But I can’t . . .” the copy-nin interjected mournfully.

“Can’t what ‘kashi?” the interrogator prodded, “Can’t hold me, can’t eat dinner with me, can’t cuddle with me by the fire? What can’t you do?”

“I can’t have sex.” the copy-nin retorted bluntly, “I may never be able to.”

“Sweetheart, not that I don’t want you, because I do . . . very much.” Ibiki husked, “But, we’ve only had sex once . . . and that was months ago. I want you . . . whatever that means. I lived without sex for years, but I can’t live without you. Please, please, at least let me try to convince you. Come home where you belong . . . let life get back to normal, after all . . . I still have to complete my mission and get you to fall in love with me.”

“You’re making a huge mistake.” the copy-nin cautioned, “You’ll regret it.”

“I could never regret you ‘kashi.” the scarred man promised sincerely, “Just tell me you’ll let me try to change your mind. Give me a year . . . if you aren’t in love with me by then I’ll let you leave. Will you agree to that, at least?”

“One year.” the silver-haired man agreed reluctantly, “Then I’m on my way.”

“If you don’t love me.” the interrogator confirmed.

“When I don’t love you.” Kakashi replied dully, “It can’t get here soon enough.”