Sway

Naruto was distant.

It wasn’t that he was actively ignoring him. Ever since the incident with Uchiha Itachi had occurred a week ago, and they’d deemed it safe to begin relying upon their genjutsu again, Naruto had closed himself off. Neji would leave to go to work, and Naruto would put up a genjutsu and train.

When he came home, Naruto would be laying unmoving upon the floor. More often than not, on his back, arms and legs spread wide, as if in sacrifice. Neji knew he must be aware of his coming and going, but the blond never spared him a single glance in passing.

At night, he would lay in bed and try to sleep. But it was impossible, given the blond’s tossing and turning. Naruto couldn’t sleep, and it was putting a strain on Neji’s own need to do so. If he weren’t trying to sleep, he was a prisoner of some fitful nightmare. Whatever little sleep Neji had been able to achieve would be shattered by haphazard limbs and not so soft cries.

Waking, the brunette would first assess the amount of damage – Naruto had broken two lamps and the headboard due to his thrashing. After, he would use his shinobi skills to dodge the blond’s wildly flailing limbs and pin him to the bed.

He’d learnt early on that shaking Naruto was a bad idea. Instead, he found if he pressed his own body along the length of the other’s, Naruto would still. His trembling slowed by warm caresses. His breathing evened by a steadily beating heart beneath his ear. Kissing him gently, upon the mouth, across his jaw, up over his cheeks and closed eyelids, about the temples, and over his forehead, eased the crinkling within his brow. A tongue along the pulse within his neck caused him to relax with a sigh. He’d go boneless in Neji’s arms, before suddenly clutching him tightly.

Sometimes, if he woke, blue eyes the color of the vast, unfathomable ocean would suddenly meet Neji’s own. Like the natural flow of the tide, Naruto’s emotions would shift in them. Sometimes, he would pull away. Sometimes, he’d push him away. Sometimes, he would look about to sob, and bury his face in Neji’s neck. Sometimes, he cried, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he would kiss him. And sometimes it would lead to sex. Sometimes it didn’t.

Their new nightly routine was beginning to drain Neji’s already low energy reserves. Naruto too, seemed less vibrant by the day.

Neji’s suspicion over his eating habits had been only recently confirmed, yet he was already at a loss as to how to correct them. After all, ‘team’ leader or not, it wasn’t as if he could actually force the blond to eat.

He’d tried everything he could, but Naruto continued to have excuses why he didn’t. He had no time. He was too tired. He wasn’t hungry. Very slowly, Neji was loosing years worth of carefully honed patience.

It was obvious to the village something was wrong.

Hayashi Nanako hadn’t left her home in a week. She’d stopped apologizing for missing affairs after two days. She’d stopped answering the door after three.

The village was justifiably concerned. Hayashi Nanako – because she was in reality, Uzumaki Naruto – had quickly become the most beloved villager. She was always willing to help out her neighbors. Always willing to go to town, or sip some tea. Always glad to sit and have a long conversation with someone, to give advice. And had the uncanny ability to sort out problems that were for all the world unseen.

She knew people, as inherently as one knew how to breathe. She could read them well, could help them overcome even the most devastating hardships, the cruelest, blackest, most despairing of pasts. She could just as easily play with the village children, as aid the elderly in their chores. She spoke to everyone as if they mattered. As if each soul, no matter how twisted, tainted, or utterly beyond repair it seemed could be redeemed. Her own soul like a buffering pad. Smoothing away years of wear and bringing out the truest shine a person seemed capable of. Then she would nurture the small flicker of hope and acceptance. Polishing it until it radiated outward. Clean and repaired, practically new.

The fact that Naruto was so loved made his depressive stint even harder. Neji had to endure constant queries as to his wife’s welfare. The other village women would burden him with gifts. Homemade quilts and family remedies, days worth of meals Naruto would have trouble consuming even if he weren’t so despondent.

He would do his best to smile reassuringly and tell them ‘Nanako’ would feel better soon. She just needed time.

Time, he thought, was something they had an awful lot of.

It wasn’t that Naruto openly snubbed him. The blond just seemed to be more concerned with – what else? – the Uchiha. Which Uchiha, was a matter of catching the blond in one mood or another. If it was Sasuke, he was angry, and snappish. He would force his body to the very limits, confined as they were. It was because of his thoughts of Sasuke, that Neji would find him at times, completely unconscious, sprawled upon the floor in bone deep exhaustion. Mention of Sasuke, Neji found, caused the blond to react violently. Not toward his partner, but whichever hapless inanimate object was closest. After replacing the table twice, Neji decided to forgo mention of Sasuke.

If the Uchiha plaguing the blond’s thoughts was Itachi, Naruto was quiet and reflective. He would remain in one spot, staring across the room at nothing. It was during these times, that Neji could walk right in, chakra flaring if he liked, and the blond wouldn't even blink. Lost in thoughts of the elder Uchiha, Naruto started at every touch, jumped at every loud sound. If Itachi were to be mentioned, the blond’s brow would furrow. He would look away, and then not move for hours. Sometimes, it could be a whole day.

Neji had considered, of course, writing the Hokage. However, he was hesitating for reasons he wasn’t completely sure of.

If the Hokage found they were having difficulty of this magnitude, she’d likely call them back. Which meant they would have to scrap the mission. They would fail, and return home in shame. Then they would be in different homes, more than half a village apart. Neji wouldn’t be able to keep watch over him. He wouldn’t be aware of how long Naruto had gone without eating. He wouldn’t be within range to calm his nightmares. He wouldn’t know if the blond had on impulse, left the village in search of the Uchiha – which would be a matter of mood – and then it could be too late.

No, this arrangement was far more conducive to their situation. Of that, at least, Neji was sure.

He began to have his doubts however, when Naruto began to throw up.

His quiet brooding over Uchiha Itachi would suddenly have him heaving. He didn’t always make it to the bathroom, and it soon became an almost regular sight, for Neji to return and find his partner had vomited himself into unconsciousness. He would refrain from sighing, moving instead to first lift Naruto clear of the mess. He would bathe and dress him in pajamas before putting him to bed. Sometimes Naruto would wake and protest, but more often than not, he wouldn’t even wake. Neji wasn’t sure which was more disturbing. After cleaning the mess, he would bathe, have something to eat, and go to bed himself.

He wasn’t aware they appeared to be falling apart at the seams to everyone about them.


“Hayashi-san!”

Neji turned, pausing in his walk home. He watched as the group approached him, and felt aggravation dredge up in his belly. He didn’t want to talk to them. He didn’t have the energy.

Still, he stood and awaited their approach. Too exhausted to be on his guard.

“Hayashi-san,” began one of his co-workers. “It is time for an intervention.”

“Excuse me?” he replied, not entirely sure what they were implying.

“An intervention,” said one of Naruto’s village friends.

“We have seen the type of devastation you and your wife are experiencing. We don’t know what happened in those moments, Hayashi-san, but we know with Ninja, anything is possible.”

Neji swallowed reflexively.

“Nanako-san has been hurting alone long enough, don’t you agree?”

He couldn’t exactly deny that Naruto was hurting, but it was the suggestion that he was not company enough that angered him.

“She’s not alone!” he snapped, harsher than he thought he was capable of. “She has me!”

“Yes, Hayashi-san, she does. But…if you’ll forgive me for asking…Has she told you what happened?”

Neji’s shock at being asked must have shown on his face, because the villagers nodded amongst themselves as if to say, ‘I thought so.’

“Hayashi-san,” said a young woman to his right, reaching out to squeeze his arm gently. She reminded him very much of Hinata-sama, and it gave her the advantage. “Let us help you. Please.”

Neji deflated upon looking into those light eyes. It may have been his imagination, but they almost appeared gray. Suddenly, he felt completely exhausted, more so than he’d ever felt. As if months of grief had been piling upon him without his notice. His voice would betray him, so he simply nodded.


“Nanako,” he called, moving into the house. He hoped Naruto had not done anything quite so rash today. Luckily the house seemed in order. The blond however, was nowhere to be found. “Nanako,” he called louder.

With the villagers at his back, outside, he couldn’t quite risk using his byakugan. Cursing silently, he moved from room to room, as they began to file into their home. Furniture was moved, blankets gathered. They were going to take care of them. Neji didn’t quite know how to feel, going from no parents, to a village full so suddenly.

He’d never needed anyone, he reminded himself. Not until Naruto.

He found him in the bedroom, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Nanako,” he said, stepping in, and closing the door behind him. Naruto didn’t turn around. “Nanako.”

When the blond didn’t react, he put up a quick, light genjutsu and crossed over to him. “Naru-” It felt like being kicked in the chest with enough chakra behind it to bring down a mountain. For, as Naruto turned, for the briefest flicker, his jutsu failed, and there was Naruto as he had not seen him in months. Tall and broad. Sharp, angled features, and hard muscles. Wild, spiky blond hair, and defiant whisker marks set deep in each cheek.

It was only for a moment, but to Neji, it felt like forever.

And not long enough. For as Nanako’s willowy form once more took precedence, Neji had the sudden urge to scream. He wanted to reach across them, grab Naruto by the shoulders and shake him until he came out of hiding. He wanted to yell and scream, and Kami-sama above…his chest…

Naruto blinked at him, as he suddenly clutched at his chest. Knees buckling, he dropped to the ground. It burned. It burned with such a force as to be indescribable. He couldn’t explain the feeling, if he knew every word known to the heavens. All he knew was that he had never felt this before, and it overwhelmed him.

Terror mixed prominently with base fear. Shoulders shaking, as his heart threatened something in a language which was unfamiliar. He didn’t know what a heart attack felt like, but from somewhere, his panicked mind reasoned, he was too young and in too good shape to be having one. But if not the obvious, what then? What was this feeling? Why couldn’t he breathe?

Soft, warm hands rubbed gently at his shoulders, before sliding down across his back. He was pulled close against a body and held lovingly. “Neji,” a voice said calmly. “You’re having a panic attack.”

That, his mind snapped fiercely, was not possible.

He was far too strong a shinobi. There’d been no jutsu, he wasn’t in a stressful situation. And even if he were, he would know to be calm and find his way out. Wait…Had he been trapped? Were these past weeks all just a ruse? Had he looked Uchiha Itachi in the eyes and not walked away unscathed? Was this Tsukuyomi?

He couldn’t be sure. He’d never been exposed to it before. He could only, logically reason it was. This was far too out of character, even for him.

“Just take deep breaths.”

Yet, his mind added. Was not Tsukuyomi used for torture? Then why comfort him? Simple, his mind reasoned. To send you into a false state and take advantage. He warned himself not to. His nails bit into the palm of his hand for focus. The pain was clearing. But, no such change in scenery occurred as he’d been expecting.

Instead, he found himself in Naruto’s arms, pressed tightly against Nanako’s body.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~


They didn’t speak of it.

Neji had had a legitimate panic attack, but the cause was unknown. As he tried to reason it out, he found his mind could only seem to focus on Naruto. Which caused the time spent on his musing to be a frustrating waste.

After his attack, however, something had stirred within his partner. Naruto apparently, had become aware of his actions, and in disgust, renounced them. The change had been immediate. So quick, it was startling.

Neji could only think Naruto’s reserves were far more extensive then they appeared.

It took the blond little time to fix the damage of the past two and a half weeks, and by the following week, things were as back to normal as they could be. Neji wanted to bring it up, and he didn’t. He decided, it would be best for them both if they forgot about it for now and moved on with their mission. Naruto apparently agreed, as he refrained from mentioning it as well.

Things were surprisingly, unstrained between the pair. And if Neji had to compare it, they were far more physical now than before. It wasn’t so much the sex. It was, little things. Quiet stroking, without need to progress. Gentle caresses, and soft kisses. None of which needed to be proceeded by sex.

Naruto would sit in his lap whenever it pleased him, and Neji found, without him there, sitting felt decidedly empty. Naruto would run his hands through his long hair in a way that never failed to lull his eyes closed. The blonde would shift then, and straddle him, smoothing his palms along his skin before threading back. And Neji could do no more than hum in response to the blond’s soft voice, that sometimes spoke and sometimes didn’t.

Out in the village, they would catch one another’s eyes for no greater reason than to do so. Naruto would smile, which would force Neji’s own mouth to curve in happiness. Then the blond would tease him, sashaying around and throwing coy looks over a soft shoulder.

If he was in a particularly mischievous mood, Naruto would push and push until Neji could only swoop upon him, and carry him off. Sometimes they never made it farther than the relative concealment of a sign, standing before the wedge of a slim alley between two buildings.

Naruto would buck against him, kimono spread wide and hanging about the legs that trapped Neji’s hips. His head thrown back, fingers clutching the brunette’s hair. Neji would push back, teeth gritting with the effort to not cry out. But then, Naruto would pull him close, press his lips against his ear and moan so softly that only the vibration against his skin created the sound of his name.

Neji would come then, hard and fast. Feeling the rush of orgasm and the pull of his release as if it were blood rushing free of a deep wound. Naruto would thrash against him, contracting about him to keep any from being spilt needlessly. In the soft convulsing about his softening member, and between the harsh gasps of his lover, Neji could almost make out words.

But they would be gone, and Naruto would look up from where he’d dropped his forehead against Neji’s shoulder and grin cheekily.

The villagers would smile at them knowingly, but never said anything about it. Perhaps fearing teasing them after the previous month’s occurrence. Or perhaps, simply because they were happy the pair had overcome their differences.


Today, they’d made it home.

Naruto on the bed, was spread wide, arms reaching out, hands clutching Neji’s hair. The brunette’s tongue between his legs, causing him to cry out. As Neji sat back, licking his lips, he tried hard not to linger over the taste. He often found himself considering it. Wishing it to be thicker, more bitter, more, well…more.

The blond panted, and Neji positioned himself, only to find hands restraining his hips.

His brow furrowed in confusion, but the blond only smiled and sat up. Kissing him deeply, Naruto guided Neji to lay on his back. The brunette’s eyes closed, as the other’s tongue probed his mouth, his hands stationed on either side of the blond’s hips. And then, to his surprise, the tongue in his mouth thickened, pushed with a greater force. Neji’s eyes flew open, but soft, blond locks still drifted about his head. Naruto pulled away and gave a vulpine grin.

“So…I’ve been tweaking my jutsu,” he said casually, hands running up and down Neji’s bare torso. Neji moaned at the sudden dips in pressure. “I figured, if I did it once…” He shrugged. “I dunno.”

There was something in his eyes. Something a lot like hope, and a little like anxiousness.

“Do you still want to see me, Neji?” he asked.

The depth of Neji’s groan made him chuckle, a nervous tint deep within the sound. He moved down the length of Neji’s body slowly, giving the brunette time to stop him if he wanted. Neji however, wanted nothing more than for the blond to do it. Finally.

“I can’t undo the whole thing,” he said, as he kissed about Neji’s navel. “But, I can do some parts at a time.” His lips trailed down, tongue gliding over Neji’s erection. He sucked in the tip briefly, before smiling. “Want to know what my mouth feels like?”

Neji’s reaction came from deep within his soul; body arching with a whine he would normally kill quite thoroughly before it had a chance to surface.

Naruto chuckled softly.

There was a moment of silence, as Neji watched Naruto close his eyes. He watched intently as the soft lips shifted, narrowing, drawing wider across his face. And then, that mouth was on him. Neji cried out, clutching the pillow on either side of his head tightly.

Naruto had done this several times as Nanako. But it had never, never felt this good.

The mouth about him felt stronger. Each thrust of the other’s tongue felt heavier, each suck, more powerful. Naruto’s mouth was hotter than Nanako’s. More cavernous than hers, Neji felt himself being guided around it. Bumping the hallow of a cheek, scrapping over wider, sharper teeth. And Kami-sama…his throat!

As Nanako, Naruto generally worked his way around swallowing him. He’d turn his head, and mewl softly. He’d swallow a few times, tongue bumping the sensitive underside of the brunette’s erection. It felt good, because it was a process. In Naruto’s mouth, it felt good because it happened. Unlike Nanako’s smaller, curved mouth, Naruto’s larger, angled one swallowed him in a quick dip of his head.

Neji’s entire body seemed to lift from the bed at the feeling. He’d never been so deep. Naruto growled appreciatively, as if this were something that had been alluding him. Setting his hands over Neji’s hips, he began to pull back slowly. Neji was practically thrashing by the time he reached the tip. He pulled back his lips, before nipping it teasingly. And then his mouth was down again, swallowing him up, and dragging him to new depths.

Neji was more than glad to go.

As Naruto worked him, Neji found himself completely lost to the feeling. As his orgasm mounted, and was teased away, mounted and was pushed back, he found that feeling in his chest from not so long ago tremble. Shoving it aside roughly, he concentrated on memorizing the feel of Naruto’s mouth around him.

His orgasm took him by surprise. Naruto had been dancing about it for a while now, he’d assumed this time would follow suit. Instead, Naruto pressed his thumb quite firmly against a spot, just bellow his sack, and Neji saw stars.

He came with a hoarse cry to the ceiling, whole body trembling upon descent.

Naruto crawled up beside him, laying next to him. Neji was thankful he wasn’t pressing close. He feared, at this moment, the breasts to his side would be too jarring. Perhaps, Naruto had considered this himself.

“So?” came Naruto’s gruff voice.

Neji kept his eyes closed, panting heavily.

He couldn’t see it, but he knew Naruto was smiling. It made him quirk a smile of his own. When he opened his eyes, they were set in his byakugan. Male or female, Naruto’s chakra system was the only thing that didn’t change. Looking at him through it, Neji could pretend.

“So,” he replied, “Why have you kept it from me this long?”

Naruto laughed and kissed him.

Neji knew then that he was in love.