Bluescreen

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STOP: Copy and Paste!

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Slowly, Naruto trudged along the street. His feet felt almost unbearable heavy; barely able to support his body weight. With a worried look in his eyes, Naruto looked up at the sky.

“The sun is so yellow,” Naruto muttered, blaming the sun for his beginning headache. Of course the blond knew that it wasn’t the sun’s fault that his head felt as if it was being thrown in a mixer. It was the Uchiha’s fault! But the sun didn’t soothe his headache either.

An unnerved sigh escaped his lips; resignation overwhelmed him all too fast. He noticed the people around him as they seemed to walk by in slow motion. To the kitsune’s dissatisfaction, the day seemed to last forever.

As he walked along the street, his head downcast, a well-known smell reached his sensitive nose. The whiskered boy sniffed the air excitedly. Despite the fact that he should go to work, he followed his nose, the smell leading him to a small stand.

The ramen-ya Ichiraku was on his way to work, always tempting the poor blond to spend all his money on the delicious noodle soups. In the space of a minute, he found himself in front of the small shop. He might have considered himself a ramen addict, but that didn’t matter as he stood there; drooling as he remembered the taste of his beloved ramen.

“Mmmh… Ramen…” Naruto moaned; his feet which had been heavy a moment ago became as light as a feather, as he walked into the shop, almost floating.

Once inside, he didn’t waste any time as he sat down. The owner of the shop walked over to the young kitsune, greeting him. “Ah, hello, Naruto-kun. It’s nice to see you again.” The old man’s words brought Naruto back to reality. He looked around, taking in his surroundings when he almost cried out in shock. Here he was, in the sea of temptation… and stone-broken. ‘This is so unfair,’ the young fox vessel whined, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to withstand such a temptation as ramen.

And suddenly it came, the question that would come up for sure. “So, Naruto. What would you like to eat?” the old man asked, unaware of the plight he caused the young kitsune.
‘Don’t say it!’ Kyuubi warned him mentally. “Miso…” He began to say, the nine tailed fox repeated its warning. ‘Don’t say it!’ Naruto didn’t hear the warning as he continued “…Ra…” ‘You can’t afford it, kit! You’re broke!!!’ The demon fox exhorted him, and although Naruto knew that all too well, he couldn’t stop; his lips moving on their own accord. “…men…” Kyuubi growled in a guttural fashion, angry at his host for not listening to him. ‘Are you happy now?’ The fox growled. ‘You’ve just dug your own grave, pup. If you’d listened to me, you wouldn’t have been in this situation now. But, noooo. You HAD to order some ramen, hadn’t you?!’ The demon fox twit him, earning a mad shout from its vessel. “Shut the fuck up! It might have been a mistake, but it’s too late to change it now, so shut the fuck up! Stop blaming me!!!”

“Umm… Naruto-kun…” The owner of the ramen-ya said charily. “What?!” Naruto turned around, facing the old man. He was still angry at Kyuubi for its demerit mark regarding the poor blond. “Your miso ramen are getting cold.” The shop owner pointed out. “Oh…” Naruto said in a low voice, calming down. He looked down at the bowl, regarding it as the steam vanished slowly. “Haa…” the old man signed when he saw the sad look on the blonde’s face. “What’s wrong, Naruto-kun?” He asked concerned. Naruto startled, stuttering that nothing was wrong and the old man shouldn’t worry. He couldn’t tell him that he was broke and couldn’t pay for the meal. Naruto was too afraid to do so. After all, the old man had already prepared the ramen. The blond grinned like a Cheshire cat, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

“Say, old man, would you mind…” The fox boy began to say when he was interrupted by a sudden “Irasshaimase!” from the owner of the small shop. The kyuubi vessel blinked confused. He turned around quickly to see who’d just come in and his jaw dropped when he saw the raven haired Uchiha-bastard. “YOU—!?” The loudmouthed blond asked, pointing a finger at the surprised, but still calm, Uchiha. “Dobe.” He smirked, putting the younger man on edge. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ Naruto asked peevishly, cursing whoever pulled the strings of his misfortune. ‘There’s no god, and if there’s one, this bastard is probably gloating over it!’ (A/N: Yes, I am… fufufu)

“What do you want here, bastard?” The kitsune vessel asked agitated. “Uh… Ramen?” Sasuke said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You never said that you liked ramen!” Naruto countered suspiciously. Sasuke leaned down to Naruto, whispering against his ear huskily: “Maybe I’m just here for my Naruto…” “Wha- Whaa- WHAAAT???!!!” Naruto cried out frantically, almost falling off his stool because of the huge shock. “The fishcakes, dumbass.” Sasuke cleared up the misunderstanding, grinning triumphantly for getting under the blonde’s skin. “Bastard.” Naruto mumbled ashamedly. He really thought that Sasuke meant him, and, honestly, he did. But, of course, he wouldn’t tell the blond.

“So,” the owner of the ramen-ya interrupted their reunion. “What would you like to eat?” He asked. This was still a shop where people were supposed to buy food and also eat it. Sasuke looked up, glaring at the old man for interfering with their coincidental meeting. The truth was that Sasuke had seen the blond walking along the street and walked closely behind him; not that he was following the younger man - noooo. Sasuke would have cut everyone’s tongue out if they had dared to say otherwise. His coal black eyes skimmed over the menu quickly, he wasn’t really hungry at all. “Naruto,” the raven said to the owner of the shop, earning a disapproving glare from the blond to his left as he took a seat beside him. “I want Naruto,” the dark haired male repeated his order, ignoring the death glares directed his way as he smiled in a sickly sweet way. “You just want… fishcakes?” the old man asked, his eyebrow twitching. He was annoyed at the raven haired man’s ambiguity, but played along anyway. What else should he have done? The customer’s always right. Besides, Naruto was able to take care of himself. If the raven tried to do something funny, Naruto would kick his ass. Right? Right! Feeling confident about that, the old man nodded before he went to prepare some fishcakes.

They sat next to each other in silence. Even when the old man handed the fishcakes over to Sasuke, not a single word was spoken. They just sat there next to each other, and ate their meals. “Gochisousama deshita” Naruto said as he stood up with the intention to leave. He had had enough of the raven haired man’s company and his anti-social behaviour that he even forgot to pay. Well, even if he hadn’t forgotten it, he still wouldn’t have been able to pay for the meal. Now then, the owner of the small ramen-ya didn’t forget that Naruto hadn’t paid so far.

“Naruto” A stern voice kept him from leaving. “Didn’t you forget something?” The old man’s voice was exhorting, tying the blond effectively like a rope; a very strong rope. The blond young man stood there as if he was adhered to the ground, unable to move.

‘Ooh… crap…’ the fox vessel thought as he turned around, facing the bilked older man. “Umm… you see, old man, … I… I mean…” Naruto tried to stutter out his excuse, but was interrupted by the raven haired man next to him suddenly. “Is that enough?” The usually stoic dark haired man asked when he put a generous amount of money on the counter.

Naruto blinked in confusion. ‘Did he just pay for my meal?’ The kitsune vessel wondered. Not only the blond was baffled, but the owner of the small ramen-ya was, too, before he composed himself again. “Umm… yes. Actually, this is more than enough…’ the old man said, counting the money briefly. “Keep the rest. I’m in a hurry… Naruto,” the raven said, attracting the younger man’s attention at the mention of his name. “Let’s go.” The older man told the kitsune vessel, not waiting for the younger one to complain about the order as he walked ahead; leaving the small shop first.

“Hey… Wait!” Naruto exclaimed as he ran after the dark haired male. “Don’t order me around like that anymore! Why did you do that anyway?” The small fox vessel huffed in annoyance. “Why? It worked like a charm, didn’t it? And, as for why I did that, you’re supposed to be at work by now.” The raven explained, not facing the younger man as he fixed his gaze on a tree in front of him. He didn’t want to look at the blond for… For what exactly? Sasuke didn’t know. The sudden realisation that he didn’t know the answer caused Sasuke to stop in his walk abruptly.

“Sasuke?” Naruto angled for the other male’s attention, wondering why the raven haired man suddenly stopped. He didn’t realise that he just had said the older one’s name for the first time. However, Sasuke did. His head shot up, staring at the younger man as though he were a pink elephant balancing on a white mouse. The utter confusion that was evident on the other’s face caused Naruto to wonder what was going on. He remembered his last word and paled. ‘Crap,’ the blond cursed himself for talking without thinking again.

“Did you just call me…” Sasuke started, but was interrupted by Naruto suddenly. “Hey! Hurry up already, bastard! I don’t want to be late just because of you.” Naruto exclaimed, trying to change the subject. “Humph.” Sasuke huffed in annoyance. “You’re already late, dobe.” “Then don’t make me wait for you even more, bastard!” The blond retorted, running a little bit ahead. Sasuke caught up with the other male quickly and they walked side by side silently.

“Hey…” The kyuubi vessel broke the awkward silence that was surrounding them. “Hm?” Sasuke indicated that he was listening. “… Tha—…Thank you.” Naruto’s voice died away until it was barely a whisper. But it was loud enough for Sasuke to hear as he turned around to face the blond once again. “You don’t have to thank me.” He said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “No.” Naruto protested. It cost the blond quite an effort to thank the raven haired man and he wanted his counterpart to appreciate this. “You didn’t have to pay for my food. So, …thank you…” Naruto grumbled the last words. Not only did he have to thank Sasuke once but twice.

“… Do you know why?” Sasuke asked after another awkward moment was spent in silence. Naruto looked up to face the older male, his whiskered face held an unknowing look to it. The raven haired man could barely resist the urge to stroke those whiskered cheeks. ‘Cute,’ he thought as he regarded the innocent expression on the other’s face.

“Because you were…” Sasuke contemplated several possibilities to finish his sentence with. “… Obviously broke.” He chose a half-truth. Of course he had seen that the blond hadn’t been able to pay, but even if the younger boy had been able to, he would’ve paid for him.

“You bastard! You goddamn bastard!” Naruto exclaimed against the older mean furiously, earning a chiding “Tsk, tsk, tsk” from the dark haired man. “Is that any way to thank me?” The raven haired man asked rebukingly. “I already thanked you!” Naruto snarled behind clenched teeth. “Oh really? Well yes, you did thank me for paying, but you didn’t thank me for paying too much.” Sasuke said, wanting the other man to thank him once more. ‘It sounds so cute when he says ‘thank you’,’ the raven thought, almost drooling when he imagined the blond using the same shy tone in bed.

“It’s your own fault that you paid too much!” Naruto retorted, not noticing that he just startled Sasuke from a very explicit daydream.

“Well, my dear, I paid 5000 ¥ for meals that only cost 500 ¥.” ‘Damn these rich guys,’ Naruto thought annoyed. “You owe me something, don’t you? I paid for 20 bowls of ramen, just for you. So you can eat 19 more bowls if you like to.” Sasuke said, knowing that he could tempt the blond with ramen. He had seen the blond drooling over it. “But what do I get for that?” Sasuke asked, tapping his chin to look even more contemplative. “I know,” he said, leaning in to the blond. “Just say my name once more,” the raven’s hot breath ghosted over Naruto’s skin as he whispered those words huskily. Naruto swallowed hard. They were so close - too close for Naruto’s comfort; it sent shivers down his spine.

“Back off!” The fox vessel shouted, pushing the older man away from him. Sasuke tripped, his hands searched for something to stabilise him, finding Naruto’s shirt and seizing it desperately. That action caused both of them to fall on the hard asphalt.

Naruto was lucky since he fell on Sasuke, so he fell rather soft, though he earned some death glares from various girls around him. ‘Yup fangirls, I fell onto him on purpose.’ The blond snorted. ‘As if.’

Lying there, sprawled out on the pavement, Sasuke was the first one to act. He grabbed the younger man’s wrists, keeping him from leaving. “Will you say it now?” he asked and whispered a husky version of the blonde’s name shortly afterwards. “Let goooo!” Naruto whined as he tried in vain to escape the older man’s grip on him. “Not until you say my name, Naruto-kun.” The raven said wickedly. “Why do you even know my name? I didn’t tell you, stalker!” Naruto tried to change the subject again, and blaming the raven haired man seemed to be the right topic right now. Maybe the older man would let go off him then.

“Dobe, I’m neither deaf nor stupid. Kakashi called you Naruto-kun, and, just in case you might have forgotten, I was still in the room.” Sasuke explained. “Uhh…” The kyuubi vessel’s theory that the older man was a sick stalker died, but he still refused to say that bastard’s name once more. Upon seeing that Naruto refused to say his name, Sasuke took both of the blonde’s hands into his own hand, before his other, now free hand travelled down to the blonde’s ass. Trailing down the smaller man’s back, he earned a soft mewl. ‘Is this his weak spot?’ Sasuke mused. ‘Note to myself: Find it out!’ His hand travelled up and down between the younger man’s ass and his back, occasionally squeezing the soft buttocks or rubbing slow circles of his back. Each movement of his earned him various sounds from the blond boy on top of him, from a squeal to a purr in less than 10 seconds.

“Stop it already…” Naruto panted out, feeling the beginning bulge in his trousers rose accompanied by his desire to get away from the raven and the looks other people were shooting at him. “You just have to say it then…” Sasuke murmured; grinding his hips against the other’s, earning a husky gasp when their erections rubbed against each other. The friction was almost too much, blinding them with pleasure. “Sa… Sasu…ke,” Naruto panted out, “Let… go…”

Sighing, Sasuke released the blonde’s hands; allowing him to leave when, all of a sudden, a mobile phone rang. It wasn’t his. He didn’t listen to Die Ärzte. Well yeah, maybe sometimes. But he did not listen to that song. “Junge” was the zombie song, wasn’t it? He only knew the censored version, though, which caused him to hate that song. The raven hated slapstick comedy.

Naruto answered his mobile phone with an overjoyed “Hi”. He scarcely got any calls, so he was more than happy to get a call. “Well, hello there, Naruto-kun,” a sickly sweet voice could be heard on the other line. Sasuke tried to eavesdrop, craning his neck to hear more. “Ha… Hatake-sensei!” Naruto paled. He knew he forgot something. Sasuke watched the whiskered boy carefully, waiting for what was to come next. “I’m glad you remember me, Naruto-kun. Though, it seems, you don’t remember where my office is located in.” Kakashi said; his voice low and calm, however, to Naruto is sounded like the calm before the storm. “Please forgive me, Hatake-sensei. I’ll be right there!” The fox vessel said pleadingly. ‘Now, if only he would replace ‘Hatake-sensei’ with ‘Sasuke’.’

The dark haired man’s imagination returned and formed new daydreams, perverted as always. That was why he didn’t notice the younger man hanging up and running as fast as he could. It was just when the young blond shouted loudly “Sasuke” that he recollected himself, taking in his surroundings. He was still sitting on the pavement, being gaped at by other people. “What?!” he growled at the strangers around him. “Hurry up already, bastard!” Naruto shouted, running ahead of him.

Another low growl erupted from his throat as he stood up slowly, patting the dust off his clothes unhurriedly. An Uchiha didn’t run, so he took his time before he walked a little bit fast than normally, but he still walked. Thus he wasn’t able to catch up with the blond instead the gap between them grew, and, after a few minutes, all the raven haired man could see was a blond flash vanishing into the distant horizon. “Damn it,” he cursed as he picked up his pace, too. Running after the blond kitsune.



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Error log file (also known as Author’s note):

What to say?! What to say?!

Hmm…

Maybe I should explain some phrases.

Irasshaimase means “Welcome” (in a shop, restaurant, but not at home!)

Gochisousama deshita means “Thank you for the meal” and is said after eating.

Ramen-ya: The ya ending indicates that it is a shop.

If you see some typos (I believe there are quite a lot), they might be written by my cat.

He likes to jump on the keyboard.

Ne, you do, don’t you, Sternchen?

See chapter “UN.ZIP” for Kakashi calling Naruto by his name when Sasuke was still in the room. Although he knows his name it doesn’t mean that he remembers their first meeting, right? Right. So this will be my next mission.

Make out on the pavement. A regular sight, isn’t it?

When I went by bus a few days ago, there were some guys who took off their trousers on the street. Exhibitionism, ahoy!

They didn’t make out, though.

Maybe you wondered about the 19 bowls of ramen.

Well, it’s quite simple.

In my story, one bowl of ramen costs 250 ¥.

And the amount of Naruto cost 250 ¥ as well.

Sasuke paid for both of them, so it’s 500 ¥.

So then, if Naruto eats out alone, he can eat 19 more bowls of ramen.

In short: (5000:250)-1=19

I believe I heard “Junge” ( “Boy”) by Die Ärzte ( The Doctors) more than 250 times while I wrote that chapter. But unlike my sister, I can hear the same song various times in a row.
I like the video clip a lot (both, the censored and the uncensored version).

It’s so funny.

And because I can’t think of anything else to say, I write down the lyrics to the song.

HAH! GOTCHA!


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Die Ärzte: “Junge”

Junge,

Warum hast du nichts gelernt?

Guck dir den Dieter an,

Der hat sogar ein Auto.

Warum gehst du nicht zu Onkel Werner in die Werkstatt?

Der gibt dir ‘ne Festanstellung,

Wenn du ihn darum bittest.

Junge -

Und wie du wieder aussiehst!

Löcher in der Hose

Und ständig dieser Lärm.

Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?

Und dann noch deine Haare,

Da fehlen mir die Worte.

Musst du die denn färben?

Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?

Nie kommst du nach Hause,

Wir wissen nicht mehr weiter.

Junge,

Brich deiner Mutter nicht das Herz.

Es ist noch nicht zu spät,

Dich an der Uni einzuschreiben.

Du hast dich doch früher so für Tiere interessiert,

Wäre das nichts für dich?

Eine eigene Praxis!

Junge -

Und wie du wieder aussiehst!

Löcher in der Nase

Und ständig dieser Lärm!

Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?

Elektrische Gitarren

Und immer diese Texte,

Das will doch keiner hören!

Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?

Nie kommst du nach Hause,

So viel schlechter Umgang!

Wir werden dich enterben!

Was soll das Finanzamt sagen?

Wo soll das alles enden?

Wir machen uns doch Sorgen!

Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.

Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.

Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.

Du warst so süß.

Und immer deine Freunde -

Ihr nehmt doch alle Drogen!

Und ständig dieser Lärm!

Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?

Denk an deine Zukunft,

Denk an deine Eltern.

Willst du, dass wir sterben?


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And just because I’m nice, here’s a translation.

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Die Ärzte: “Boy”

Boy,

Why haven’t you learned anything?

Look at Dieter,

He even has a car.

Why don’t you go to uncle Werner’s workshop?

He’ll offer you permanent employment

If you ask him.

Boy -

What a sight you are again!

Holes in your pair of trousers

And always that noise.

What will our neighbours say?

And then your hair,

I’m speechless.

Do you have to dye them?

What will our neighbours say?

You never go home,

We are at a loss.

Boy,

Don’t break your mother’s heart.

It’s not too late

To enrol in university yet.

Back then, you were so interested in animals,

Wouldn’t that be fine for you?

Your own small animal veterinary practice!

Boy -

What a sight you are again!

Holes in your nose

And always that noise!

What will our neighbours say?

Electric guitars

And those lyrics,

Nobody wants to hear that!

What will our neighbours say?

You never go home,

So much bad company!

We’ll disinherit you!

What will the tax office say?

Where will that end?

We are worried!

And you were such a cute child.

And you were such a cute child.

And you were such a cute child.

You were so cute.

And then your friend -

I'm sure, you all take drugs!

And always that noise!

What will our neighbours say?

Think of your future,

Think of your parents.

Do you want us to die?

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So… Why did I write that down?

Maybe because of a pressure to perform.

I’m pretty anxious because of my upcoming tests and, honestly,

I doubt I’ll pass.

It’s almost too much for me to remember.

The last time I had to write several tests in a week, I ended up writing my French test in English.

So this time… Uh… I don’t want to think about it.

I hope you liked the story so far. So until I'll upload the next chapter, all I can say is つづく… ( "To be continued...")

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