Look At Me

hey all!
this chapter is quite long. eventually all three parts are going to be combined into one big chapter, but for the sake of updating frequently i decided to do this chapter in 4 parts.

Enjoy part one. And lots of love to those lovely people who spent the time to write what they thought.
xoxox Mia
My darling sister has yet to figure out whose fic this is I have been getting her input so she wouldn't sugar coat it. I don't think she reads the A/N so it will be our little secret eh?
I have the next couple chapters figured out completely down to stupid details. so I'm going to spend time edidting my old chapters to make them smoother before i update.

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Sakura woke up in a bed she was sure was not hers, lying on her side facing a plain white wall with something warm draped around her. She tried to piece the patchy memories of what had last happened together.

Genma…sake…dancing...hot…Genma…. punching…. her boys…silky hair? Her mind was in a fog. Something felt wrong. She knew that there was something that she should be worried about. This bed. Then it hit her slowly. This wasn’t her bed! That was bad! Shit! It smelled masculine and spicy. It smelled like her boys. Something tingled on the juncture between her shoulders and neck. She shivered. Her warm cover groaned reluctantly. She quickly turned around to see a familiar, shaggy, haired blonde staring at her sadly. Before Sakura had a chance to jump out of his reach Naruto scooped her up and held her close to his chest.

“Naruto, where… what…. Is this Sasuke’s…”? Sakura’s questions were confused and groggy.

“If you don’t accept it Sakura I won’t hold it against you.” Naruto said into her ear.

“She has no idea what your talking about, Dobe.” Said a low voice from the door. Sasuke entered the room, followed by Sai. He was looking at Sakura strangely. An expression she had never seen on the dark Uchiha’s face before.

“What are you talking about, Naruto? What happened to me last night? I was smashed…how did I get here? And what about Genma?” Sakura asked blankly. Mentioning the senbon wielding ninja was apparently the wrong thing to say. Naruto looked furious, Sasuke remained impassive but his fingers curled around the scroll he was currently holding and Sai blinked and gave on of his truly fake smiles. She assumed they had ‘rescued’ her from Genma in her inebriated state. For once, she was glad they had intervened, it she wouldn’t have wanted to have sex with the older ninja. “What is it with all of you today…”

Sakura had no idea what was happening. Under normal circumstances Naruto and Sasuke would be furious and Sai would have already made an insulting comment. With out a word Sasuke handed over the scroll he held in his hand. Looking down Sakura saw that it was a mission scroll. Before opening the scroll she looked up to see Sai and Sasuke looking at her intently, something unusual for the normally emotionally stunted boys. Weirder still, Naruto was being QUIET. Something clicked in Sakura’s head.

“Oh my god, did someone die? Is it Kakashi? Is he ok? What happened? Or Ino? Are they ok?” Sakura said quickly.

“Read it.” Sasuke said solemly sparking Sakura’s explosive anger.

“Sasuke Uchiha you damn well better tell me what you know and whats going on or I’ll-“ She was roughly cut of and ripped from Naruto’s grasp by the normally calm Uchiha. He sat her down in the chair he had been sitting in the night before roughly. Sasuke gripped he wrists so tight it was painful, yet his face was still unemotional and cool.

“You want to know what’s wrong Sakura?” Sasuke sneered. “You left us to go be some weak ninja’s slut. We weren’t able to protect you-“

“I am not a slut and you all are not my fathers; who I decide to give my body to is my business.” Sakura raged “And I definitely don’t always need to be protected by all of you. I am 20 years old, a capable Jounin now. I can take care-“

“-Not of yourself, surely?” Sai interjected sarcastically. “Your taking care of yourself has gotten you drugged.”

“Who drugged me?” Asked Sakura sounding stunned Sasuke’s still tight grip on her wrists was starting to really pain her and she tried to shake him off. Naruto pulled Sasuke away from Sakura and handed her the scroll that lay in her lap.

“Before we talk more, read it.” Naruto said sincerely, he was beyond angry with Sakura; but his opinion could wait until she understood the severity of the situation. He looked so sad and serious that she couldn’t even think of questioning him, he always had Sakura’s best interests as his priority. She quickly set to reading the scroll.

“She listens to dickless…” Jabbed Sai “and not to you bastard.” Sasuke glared at Sai while Naruto pushed him. After reading the short note at the top of the scroll from her mentor the Hokage on her condition, Sakura tried to gulp down the oncoming tears, feeling dread fill her stomach. She looked past the note to the mission information; S-class, length of time undetermined, survival probability- 11/200, completion priority- 10/10. The burning in her throat was almost unbearable but she refused to cry. She wouldn’t prove them right she was strong.

“Sasuke, Sai, Naruto…. Can I have some space while I read this?” Sakura asked quietly. She couldn’t meet their eyes. Naruto wanted to argue but he had nothing he could say yet. Silently Sasuke made his way toward the door. Sai gave Sakura another blank glance before heading out as well. Naruto lingered a moment. His face set like stone in an expression that Sakura had rarely ever seen on the hyper boy: defeat.

“I’ll be at the Hokage monument.” He said not looking up from her feet. “I’ll support you, no matter what. If you don’t think you can handle this mission I will do whatever I can to ensure you don’t go.”

Sakura stared at him through her tear filled eyes wanting to hug him. She glanced down at the mission summary to gain control of herself; she had to be strong especially in front of Naruto. When she gained the composure to look up he was gone.

*****

Kakashi had sat with his back to the Ninja’s killed in action monument, his hands on his knees. He had been sitting in this spot since his talk with the Hokage. When his father killed himself he had devoted himself to the rules. When Obito died for him and Rin comrades had become his top priority. When the Yondaime gave up his life for Kohona he began to see protecting the village as a sacred duty in honor of hid sensei’s memory. Right now all three of his principles were warring against each other.

He stood up and traced his fingers over Rin, Obito and the Yondaime’s names etched in the stone. He had never wanted to talk to them as much as he did now. He understood the pain of a shinobi’s lifestyle well; and he accepted it, but he didn’t want Sakura to end up the way he had. She was so alive and idealistic. He wanted to delay the loss of her naive dreams for as long as he could, forever if possible. There were some things, Kakashi had learned, that people were better of not ever realizing.

He understood why the mission was important. He understood the severity of the situation. The number of people that would die in a war with the Land of Wind would be immense; it definitely out weighed the suffering of one kunoichi. He knew that this Poison Mixer was a deadly threat that needed to be eliminated as quickly as possible and that there would be no arguing with the consul. Some how he couldn’t get his mind away from images of Sakura in pain and he felt nauseas. Kakashi sat back down.

On the low chance that she would survive the mission, the pain that Sakura would no doubt be subjected to would change her when she returned, as the pain had changed Sasuke. Sasuke would never be the hopeful boy he had been before his brother murdered his clan again. The damage to his personality was irreparable. He couldn’t imagine Sakura as hopeless it would ruin her. She would cease being the young women he had grown to… well he honestly didn’t know what Sakura meant to him. He just knew that whatever it was, it was a lot.

*****

Sakura finished rereading the mission assignment; her decision made. She knew what she had to do; she wouldn’t let herself be the cause of the deaths of her fellow shinobi, as well as the shinobi from the Sand and countless other innocent civilians on both sides. She felt so stupid for not sensing the drug in the sake. At the same time she knew this was for the greater good. She would not let her herself shoulder the responsibility on someone else as a weak person would; she would make up for her mistake by ridding the world of another powerful dirty bastard. She pushed thoughts on the unfairness of her situation out of her mind. That would make this mission harder for her. Besides she thought darkly, ‘who ever said life was fair? They obviously weren’t a shinobi.’

Sakura made her way out of the Uchiha Compound. Heading down the winding roads of Konoha she walked slowly toward the Hokage Monument. She had to get him to understand why this was necessary, so he didn’t do anything stupid. Sakura had a week to prepare for leaving on a mission that she had an extremely low chance of coming out of unharmed. She planned to live it to the fullest and with her best friends: Sasuke and Naruto.

Sakura climbed the large hill to meet Naruto. She was amazed by what she saw. Against the setting sun Naruto looked almost unreal. He sat on a rock facing the village, his expression was surprisingly unreadable and serious and he seemed to be thinking hard. The dying light casting a warm glow on his face, his long disheveled hair and his black warm up jacket. The effect was awe-inspiring; she stared at his profile for unnecessary amounts of time. Luck for the first time today, was on her side. He had not noticed her presence. Gathering her courage she approached her best friend.

“Naruto.” Sakura said softly. He turned his head to look at her. The maturity he had gained in the last few years was never as clear in his eyes as it was right then, they sparkled with the understanding and sympathy that he felt toward her. She bravely stepped forward so there was a gap of only 3 feet between them. “Naruto I want you to know that I’m doing this for myself. I could never live with myself if I didn’t. It’s my shinobi way.” She smiled sadly down at him

Naruto looked up at the girl he had been in love with since he was 12. The last half a day had been the only time he had ever found himself at a loss on what to say to her except the time when Sasuke first left. He cared more about her happiness then even his goal of becoming Hokage. He had long ago accepted that she did not feel the same way back. He figured as long as he could be the best friend of this enigma of a kunoichi then that would have to be good enough. He hung off her addicting smiles and contagious laughter. If that were to disappear he had no idea what he would do.

“I knew you were going to say that.” Naruto said. “Is there anyway I can change your mind?” Sakura shook her head sadly.

“We have a week together, you, me, and Sasuke. After all we’ve been through we should take this week to live as we should have if Sasuke had never left. I’d be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t afraid, but for this week I would like it if we acted like normal civilians. If we ate ramen and went to movies and went to the bathhouses like normal people do. You, Sasuke, Sai, and Kakashi are my precious people and the life of shinobi is considerably short. Please lets have fun this week...” She looked back towards the woods and pointed. “You can’t hide your chakra from me, Sasuke. I need you to hear this.”

From the woods Sakura had gestured towards came a brooding Sasuke. His hands in his pockets, he walked over to the edge of the monument where Sakura stood and Naruto sat. He and Naruto had already requested seats on one of the three teams to track Sakura. As had Sai, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji. He didn’t want to give in to her crazy self-sacrificing scheme. He also didn’t want to waste the week that had been given to them arguing a lost case. He was going to give it one more try before he gave up. He did not want to admit to himself how taxing it would be to him if she were to die or how it sickened him almost irrationally to think of the pink kunoichi in pain or worse being forced to do sexual acts with strange old men.

“Sakura. Do you know what you are setting yourself up for?” Sasuke said quietly. “This person could force you to do anything. This is not simply being a hostage.”

“I understand that and the severity of the drug. But I have faith in you, all of you. If there’s a way to help me, you will find it. I might not even have to be there a whole day under ideal circumstances. If the boss is in, and entrance is easy into the base. All this drama could be for nothing.” Sakura said in a voice more confident then she thought she was capable of. Her voice took on a stern tone. “Until the time comes when I am about to leave I don’t want to bring up this topic again.” She tried to smile at them reassuringly. Sasuke stared down her smile and Naruto didn’t respond. This was not what she wanted for what could possibly be the last week of her life. She walked up to the two men sitting beside each other and pulled them into a tight hug. Which they both, astonishingly enough: on Sasuke’s part, reciprocated.

“Let’s not think of what’s going to happen that can’t be changed.” Sakura whispered up into their ears. “It would mean the world to me if you would be happy, Naruto. It’s only been a day and I miss your grin.” Sakura pulled her boys behind her as she walked back down the steps of the hill. Naruto was in heaven having Sakura hold his hand but Sasuke looked less then thrilled. When Sakura turned around and noticed this she immediately stopped.

“Sasuke, if your miserable I’m not forcing you to stay. If you don’t want to be with me I can understand.” Sakura said with a dry edge on her voice.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” Sasuke replied tonelessly, purposely missing her humor.

“In the bastard’s terms that means he cares.” Naruto said falling back into his teasing personality. Sakura smiled widely Naruto’s powers to brighten her day seemed to work even in the most dire of situations.

“Well I’m flattered Sasuke. That you find me and Naruto worthy of your time.” Sakura continued.

“Sakura-chan don’t bother. I tried to show him humor years ago. It never worked. He isn’t capable of understanding why people waste their time on it.” Naruto gave Sasuke a shove, which he returned.

“Let’s spend the night at Naruto’s house. I have a bit of money saved up. Lets get some of that nice sake that Tsunade gives herself for free.” Sakura giggled at the memory.

“Unless the almighty Uchiha-sama is above sleeping at a commoner’s house.” Naruto challenged and Sasuke snorted.

“Anyone is above sleeping in your house Dobe. The empty ramen cups and dirty clothes across the floor make it a sanitation hazard.”

“Well I’m not really squeaky clean like you bastard.” Naruto replied angrily “You know I heard Sai telling Ino and Hinatta that you were into dudes and by the state of your room I’d believe it.”

“So it’s him.” Sasuke said irritated. Sakura laughed, remembering the conversation she had with Kurenai about the Uchiha’s sexuality the week before in the bathhouses.

Sakura purchased six bottles of sake at the liquor store. Still pulling her boys by the hand, she led them up the flights or stairs to Naruto’s apartment. When they got to the apartment Sakura tried to find something that wasn’t ramen to cook, surprisingly she found some rice in the far corners of his cabinets. She set to making rice balls while Sasuke and Naruto fought over the remote. Dinner was ready in 10 minutes and in another hour they were finished and on to something Naruto was very good at; drinking.

While walking through town Sakura had said that she had never really been wasted before. This had prompted Sasuke to tell her it was because she was normally a goody-goody. Naruto, who was even more hypersensitive to anything that could potentially hurt Sakura after what happened then he normally was, tackled Sasuke to the ground and a fistfight ensued. It was only after Sakura shocked them both by challenging them to a drinking contest, that the fight was ended.

Naruto had pulled one of the crappiest movies he owned from a shelf by his TV. It was basically 2 and half-hours of dirty mouthed ninja’s having sex and killing other ninjas. After Sakura spent five minutes forcing a sullen Sasuke to participate the rules were decided. Sasuke and Sakura each had to drink a cup every time the word ‘fuck’ was mentioned. Naruto had to drink every time one of the female characters said ‘like’, which was practically measured in minutes apart.

The only member of the three still able to use his, albeit rather limited, brain, ended the game an hour and a half into the movie. Naruto had always had an advantage when drinking because the Kyuubi was able to detoxify alcohol at a rate unparalleled by normal humans. Right before him sat an extremely wasted Sakura. Her mission to get wasted and, he assumed, forget oncoming problems had been a success. He had to stop her from drinking anymore so that she wouldn’t die of liver failure. His rival was sitting closer to her then he would have allowed when he was conscious of space. But Naruto had a feeling Sasuke’s calculating mind was out of service at the present time. His first hint was the small amount of clothing he wore, his second was the unfocused state of the normally penetrating eyes.

Sakura was currently slurring about heat in Konoha during the summer and taking off layer after layer of casual training clothing. He agreed with her that the heat was painful and that his piece of shit air conditioning was not helping, but at the same time he was still far more aware of the chills that ran down his spine as more warm flesh was revealed. The responsible part of his brain told him that this was not leading anywhere Sakura would want it to, but that part had always been small and easily ignored. When she was only wearing her tiny shorts and sports bra he decided that he needed to intervene. He grabbed her arms and picked her up easily and attempted to force the discarded shirt back over her pink head. She fought sluggishly.

“Sakura-chan let me dress you.” He groaned out trying to stare solely at her face rather then other magnetizing areas.

“I don’t need you to dress me.” Sakura garbled out in a high-pitched voice. “I can do it all by myself. But I don’t wanna right now. I want you.”

“You don’t mean that. You’re drunk. We’ll talk about this when you’re not smashed out of your mind.” Naruto said seriously looking her straight in the eye. He was going to spend time with Sakura all he could before the mission… he couldn’t if she was avoiding him because she had drunkenly thrown herself at him. Even if the timing of this situation had been different he would never take advantage of a drunk Sakura. Naruto adjusted the giggling girl so that he had a spare hand. Her light weight was next to nothing.

“Yo. Teme. Can you move yourself?” Naruto called out to the dark haired man sprawled out over his floor, waving his hand in the Uchiha’s face. The Sharingan user’s previously unseeing eyes were now closed, his breathing even and slow. When he got no Naruto growled threateningly. That still did not produce any results.

“Pshh…. Lightweights.” He sighed and smiled at his boozed up teammates. Hefting the male under his arm dramatically, he mumbled something about Sasuke trying one of Ino’s diets.

Naruto carried the two to his room where he set Sakura down gently and dropped Sasuke off somewhere near her. She had laughed and squirmed the whole walk to his room where as Sasuke had been dead weight.

When he turned to leave to get Sakura’s clothes out of his living room and possibly back on her lithe frame, a small hand grabbed his shirt. He tried to keep walking but the hand was still holding his shirt. He turned around to see Sakura looking at him with her larger cloudy green eyes, the vulnerability in her eyes hadn’t been this clear since they had been genin. His eyes transfixed on hers allowed her to pull him down onto the bed next to her. Drunk or not she still had freakish strength.

Sakura latched her body onto Naruto’s chest. Had she been sober, she never would have acted so petty and frail. Her common sense was so far in the back of her head; she sat in Naruto’s lap and reacted purely on her emotions.

She then did something she hadn’t done in years, she cried. Her fake brave shell came down. She let everything out in the form of tears on Naruto’s chest. Her fears; the uncertainty of what was going to happen, the anticipation of the pain sure to come, the shortage of time, the feeling of inadequacy and the future loss of the virginity that she had wanted to choose to give to someone special.

Sakura cried in his arms for an hour, he sat their silently because there was nothing he could say. He hadn’t seen Sakura cry since before she had grown up, the sight was disturbing and yet comforting at the same time. Seeing her show her weakness this freely was not normal for Sakura and almost shocking to him, at the same time watching her let it out of her system made him realize that no matter how strong she was she still retained the ability to feel. When she had quieted he laid her out on his bed and tucked her limp form under the covers.

He went into the living room to collect her clothes along with Sasuke’s. As much as he cared for his rival, having even a partially naked man in his bed made him uncomfortable. Naruto came back to the room to see Sakura embracing the drunk Uchiha from behind. He quickly slipped her shirt over her head and before the drunken girl could protest, slipped above the covers and put her head on his chest. Sakura listened to the steady beat of Naruto’s heart as she drifted into an exhausted sleep.

*****

While Sakura had been with her original two teammates, the newest member of her team had been looking for answers on her condition. Sai asked Sasuke for the location of Genma’s house. If Genma had anything to do with what had happened to Sakura and the pain Sai was feeling because of it he had better hope someone interrupted what Sai was planning to do to him. It involved one of his drawn animals barbecue sauce and a rather important part of the other ninja’s body lightly sauced and salted for before mentioned animal.

He reached the other ninja’s door and knocked politely. There was no response from indoors. He tried the still courteous but more insisting knock that Sakura had spent an afternoon teaching him. He could sense two different charkas from indoors so there was no mistaking that someone was home and that someone was definitely Genma. He tried knocking one more time, slightly louder still. He put on one of his smiles and using a chakra-laden foot kicked out the door.

He walked into the small 3-room apartment and opened the door he sensed the chakra from. On top of a very naked woman that Sai recognized as Kaori something one of the nurses at the hospital, was a panting Shiranui Genma. Genma looked up from the female beneath him.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing.” Genma really didn’t like to be interrupted in his own house by this kid, especially during decent sex.

“You have some questions to answer Farmer-sempai.” Sai said simply referring to the older man’s usual senbon. Ignoring the furious look from both halves of the couple he continued. “ Tall Saggy-san to go home.” The ex-root member effortlessly dodged the cheap lamp that came at his head from an enraged medic, grabbing it out of the air before it could hit the ground.

“Farmer-sempai, send your clearly over used sex toy home. I just saved your 10-dollar lamp. Use that extra money on a better looking prostitute.” Sai’s smile never faded from his face as he spoke. After 10 minutes, a slapped cheek and some colorful words from the female medic Sai and Genma were in Genma’s living room. Genma rubbed his injured face carefully.

“How come you didn’t get slapped?” Asked an angry Genma, staring at the younger rude ninja with an expression close to disbelief.

“Because I didn’t insult her and then ask her bluntly to have sex with me again.” Sai explained. “Sakura tells me that in order to get females to help you with those kind of needs you have to be flattering and romantic and do not tell them what you actually think.” Sai had pondered the meaning of this piece of wisdom many times before, but seeing the scene that had played before him it made much more sense.

“What? Never mind don’t tell me.” Genma said not wanting the emotionless bastard to be in his house for more time then he needed to be.

“When you were with Haruno-san did anyone do anything suspicious to her drink?” Sai asked getting right to the point.

“No.” Genma replied after a moment of thought.

“Were there any suspicious people watching Haruno-san?” Sai inquired.

“There was no one particularly close to her that was watching her with unnecessary interest. I can’t remember much… I had already had a pitcher and a half of sake….”

“That could be considered abnormal…. If you don’t come up with at least one lead that turns out to be anything I could tell Hokage-sama you are responsible for the fate of her beloved apprentice or worse I could tell that apprentices’ best friends Uchiha and Uzumaki that you’re the reason that they could lose her.” Sai said evenly yet at the same time his words were the truth he would do his best to make this man’s life hell if he did not remember anything. Genma looked slightly uncomfortable with the mention of two of Konoha’s most dangerous ninja. He had no doubt that the Uchiha and the Kyuubi would be visiting him soon. This kid was almost as scary and just as crazy as the two extremely powerful young ninja. The kid had mentioned Sakura in a way that made her sound as if she was in failing health, as if she was going to die soon, but the Hokage had told him that she had recovered fine.

“What’s wrong with Sakura-chan?” Genma asked almost concerned about the beautiful pink haired girl.

“Nothing at the moment. If you don’t want her death or much worse to reside in the possible realm of your fault, you will remember better Farmer-san.” Sai said in a testy tone that hinted at his impatience with Genma.

“I already told you everything I can remember.” Genma grunted. He wasn’t happy about the way this night was turning out: he was currently being threatened by an emotionless, pretty boy, art freak. This was the same person who had interrupted him during good sex. “The only thing off was the bartender hitting on her when I found her. He gave us 2 free pitchers of sake though so he can’t have been that bad…”

“What did this man look like?” Sai said relieved that he was finally getting somewhere.

“How would I know? I don’t look at guys.” Genma said in a tone that told Sai he had gotten all the information he possibly could out of this source. He abruptly stood from the chair he had been in and walked out Genma’s dwelling pondering the possible number of bartenders that could be employed at the bar they had visited.

“ Your welcome.” Genma yelled at Sai’s retreating back. But the boy gave no sign he had heard his mind on slimy bartenders.

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Part 2 of the Week will be out soon.