Strange Hotels

style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>CHAPTER
7 (I lurve ya, Max)

“Damn
Gaara!”

Our
hero is currently locked in the life or death struggle of trying to find a
place to stay the night.

“Shit!”

Not
having much luck is he?

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>CRASH!

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>BANG!

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>MEOWWW!

???

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>“FLUFFYYYY!!!”style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>

“Ah
fuck…”

See
Naruto.

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>“YOU!style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'> You killed my Fluffy!”

See
Naruto run.

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>“Monster!style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'> Cat-killer! style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>MURDERER!”

See
Naruto run faster.

“What
is it about fat, rich women and cats?”

This
is how Naruto found himself halfway in the door of the
most dilapidated hotel on this side of creation.

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>Well I might as well crash at this
place. My apartment’s too far away for me to attempt to get there tonight and
it’s not like I can ask Gaara to come pick me up.

“Hey class=SpellE>mista, are ya here class=SpellE>ta get that room again or ta take
up all my oxygen?” broke in a voice. “Cuz air class=SpellE>ain’t free ya know.”

Turning around,
Naruto saw an old geezer who looked almost as run down as the hotel. class=GramE>Again?style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'> What is he talkin…
you know what I don’t care. I’m not
in the mood for this. “And who says air isn’t free old man?” he ground out.

“Me,
the almighty Max.”

“class=SpellE>Teme…”

“An’ sides air
might be free but air conditioning
for sure ain’t, so if you was gonna
get a room, get in here and close the damn door, ya
stupid motherfucker.”

After paying the
hotel owner, Naruto wearily made his way up the steps to his room. style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>I can’t believe that old fucker charged me a
hundred dollars for a night in this shithole! And why
the hell is this the only hotel in a twenty mile
radius and how- 919? Isn’t my room number 890?

Checking his
surroundings Naruto saw he went two sections past the one he was supposed to
enter. “shit, I went too far. Now I class=SpellE>hafta-” MARY, JESUS
AND JOSEPH! ARE THOSE TWO MEN MAKING
OUT!?!

Ducking around a
corner he stood, frozen, unable to move and unsure of what to do. “class=SpellE>Ahhh… wait… ah… stop, not… out here… some-class=SpellE>ah~hh… someone… might come.” He heard a chuckle and then
caught one (obviously the seme) say to the other.
“The only one coming right now is you and don’t worry- I’ll pay extra for this
little service.” Naruto could feel sweat run down his face at that one.

style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Now he’s
a prostitute!? I gotta get away from here while their
pants are still on!

Naruto sprinted
away from the two (now moaning) men, down the stairs, across the walkway to the
“correct” section, up the stairs, checked way too many room numbers for his
liking till finally, at long last room 890. He unlocked the door, threw himself
inside, locked it back and collapsed, exhausted, on the bed. Naruto then
reached over to where he had dropped his bag on the side of the bed and got his
sleeping pills. Trying his best not to think about what just happened, he
downed what is probably more than the recommended healthy amount for sleeping
pills and whispered sleepily to the dark room “What the hell type of hotel is
this anyway?”

The door alarm
chimed once, announcing another guest’s arrival. The reedy old hotel owner
looked up from his show.

“Ah! class=GramE>If it ain’t my favorite customer!”
Max trilled sarcastically in high falsetto.

Sasuke snorted.

“My room ready
yet?” he asked.

“Why yes sir and,
of course, this being the respectable hotel it is…”

Both men eyed the
decaying surroundings.

“Your room was the
one with the pretty, ready and willing blond man in it, who just can’t wait class=SpellE>ta satisfy your every whim and
desire.” said Max, pretending to read off of his hotel records.

The dark haired
man’s eyes glowed red.

“Ah shove it, class=SpellE>Uchiha.” scoffed Max.

Shock ran across class=SpellE>Sasuke’s face.

“Yea I know who you
are and your eyes don’t scare me. So why don’t you give me my money, take your
brooding, angsty ass up ta your room, fuck that blond
whore in there ta your hearts content, leave, I’ll
pretend ta be the kind hearted, caring,
don’t-know-shit, senile old man you see in bad Christmas flicks who just don’t
understand this generation’s wayward ways, you come back same time next week
and we’ll start the process all over again.”

With that Max
turned back to the small black and white tv
behind his desk.

Sasuke just stared.

style='font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";mso-fareast-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Unicode MS"'>Asshole…