Nameless Desires

Here it is folks; the answer to the question you’ve all been burning to know since you clicked on the link for this fic. Let me know what you think about the answer. ;-)

WARNING: Raw yaoi lemon ahead.

Nameless Desires

Chapter 7: That Night


"I was hoping you could tell me what happened at the dinner party. And then about what happened afterwards. You've been dragging your story out for so long Sasuke. I want it all out," Naruto said as he looked at Sasuke. "How did you, you who doesn't drink, get so plastered that night that you came back, tied me up, and-"

"Naruto," Sasuke said, cutting off Naruto from saying anything else. He didn't think he could bear it to hear Naruto actually say the word rape. "I'll finish it. I'll finish the story," Sasuke took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, remembering the night in blurry, yet somehow vivid details as he began telling Naruto the exactly what he had been demanding since first walking through his door.

Time seemed to freeze for Sasuke as his mind was thrown forcibly back in time, remembering the way that Naruto, who stood before him now, ironically had the same strangely focused expression on his face while Naruto had laid on his bed while he was getting ready for the dinner party then. Sasuke, also like back then, paced back and forth. As he paced, Sasuke began the ending of his story...


- - - - - - - - - - - -


"Why am I going to this dinner party again?" Sasuke muttered. He was pacing back and forth in his bedroom, his bare feet thudding gently on the carpet as he tied a silken tie around the collar of a starch white dress shirt. Naruto watched him from the bed, an amused, yet very focused expression on his face.

"Because you slugged a cop and now you have some ass kissing to do. You can practice with mine if you want," Naruto said, as he watched Sasuke's pacing come to a sudden halt.

"W-what?" Sasuke said, his mouth agape at the suggestive comment from Naruto. Naruto waved his hand at Sasuke as to dismiss it. Sasuke, still not sure that he had heard Naruto right, decided he wasn't sure if he could handle finding out if Naruto really had made such a lewd joke directed at him. Sasuke, quite frankly, didn't want it to be a joke.

"What's the big deal about going?" Naruto asked, confused, but still completely amused by Sasuke's strange an uncharacteristic behavior.

"Sakura will think it's a date," Sasuke said.

"Maybe, maybe not," Naruto said off-handedly. "Do you want it to be a date?" Naruto asked, his voice quiet. Sasuke turned and glared at Naruto.

"Naruto, you know I don’t like her. Sakura's tolerable and all, but I'm not interested," Sasuke said as he finished knotting the tie.

"I dunno. I think she seems rather nice. She's smart, and absolutely head over heels for you," Naruto said, a strange note to his voice that Sasuke didn't miss. Sasuke's glare turned to a confused look.

"Nice, maybe, but she's also clingy and not my type," Sasuke said firmly as he picked up his dress coat jacket, wondering why Naruto seemed interested in prospective girlfriends for him and hoping that he wasn’t imagining the slight jealousy in Naruto’s voice.

"You mean because she called you three times to make sure that you were coming while making sure that she had given you the directions perfectly?" Naruto said smirking as Sasuke grimaced.

"She also wanted to check up on you to make sure you were okay," Sasuke said as Naruto winced, Sasuke remembering just how motherly and over protective she had seemed each time she called to make sure he knew where the house was as well as to make sure that Naruto was well. "My phone's been ringing off the hook between Sakura and Mrs. Yamanaka calling here to check up on you," Sasuke said. Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"I felt bad for bringing the Yamanaka's in the middle of this mess-"

"And I'm telling you again that it's not your fault-"

"-but I can't deny that it didn't feel good to know that they came rushing back from their ‘vacation’ in order to check and make sure I was okay. Mrs. Yamanaka told me that she knew I liked staying here, but I have to come over tomorrow to see her so she can see for herself that I’m still alive," Naruto said, rolling his eyes.

"When I answered the phone she said Ino had even called Sakura to get the full medical report," Sasuke said, happy that his friend had people that cared about him, especially with everything that had gone on, but something in him was beginning to sting. Something in him felt hollow. He swallowed, looking away from Naruto. "You should go over to the Yamanaka's while you're waiting for me," Sasuke said, his voice coming out in a strange waver.

"No, I want to stay here to hear right away if everything went okay," Naruto said.

"You'll be alone here," Sasuke murmured.

"It won't be the first time," Naruto said, looking at his friend strangely.

"Yeah, well, I don't know that I want to go to this stupid thing," Sasuke muttered.

"What's the big deal about you going tonight?" Naruto asked, knowing that something was definitely up, but not able to place his finger on what. Naruto decided he needed to look closely at Sasuke to see if he could tell what was wrong with his friend, though he needn’t have bothered; Sasuke made sure to convey his point loud and clear.

"Big deal? What's the ‘big deal?’ Naruto, you were stabbed through the chest by a psychopathic homicidal maniac. I thought you were going to die. Forgive me but I really don't want to leave you here all by yourself mere hours after that happened," Sasuke almost yelled, and he threw the jacket onto the bed next to him, and began to unloosen the tie he had just spent several distracted minutes trying to tie. "That's it. I'm not going," Sasuke said firmly.

"Geeze Sasuke. Stop babying me. I'll be fine," Naruto said grumpily. Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the front of his shirt, and pulled him close to his face.

"Don't you get it Naruto? I thought you were going to be killed. You were tortured! Now you expect me to just leave you here by yourself? Here, where I ought to have been when Kyuubi lured you downstairs in the first place?" Sasuke exploded. Naruto narrowed his eyes and knocked Sasuke's hand away.

"Damnit Sasuke, why are you freaking out? You were fine at the hospital, and now you're raging like a lunatic. I'm not a little kid. I can take care of myself. I took care of Kyuubi alright, didn't I?" Naruto said angrily. Sasuke didn't appear to hear him.

"And what am I supposed to do when I come back and you're lying dead in a pool of blood? A-and you’re not moving and you’ve no pulse and right next to you is Mom and Dad and cousin Uessa and auntie Achiko and-" Sasuke began rattling off random names of his dead family members, his voice raising hysterically, his eyes wide and frightened. Naruto looked at Sasuke utterly horrified as he realized that Sasuke was reliving the day that he had come home to find his family butchered in the middle of the living room.

Naruto slapped Sasuke hard across the face. Sasuke's hysterical ranting stopped, his face set off to the side, his chest heaving.

"Sasuke, you need to get out of this house," Naruto said slowly. Sasuke shook his head, and swallowed, his usual calm and collected manner returning to him.

"I didn't mean to go off ranting like that," Sasuke muttered. Needing something to do with his hands, he gratefully began tying his tie once more feeling embarrassed. He honestly hadn't meant to go raging on like that, and he had a feeling that Naruto was right. He had suppressed the images of finding his family's bodies lying in blood as he entered the house for so many years now, yet they were suddenly returning to him. A part of him, no doubt as a self-defense mechanism, had forgotten that he had been the one to find them. Seeing the blood on the floor in his kitchen, wondering where Naruto had gone had resurfaced memories he had long since suppressed. Being back inside his home and no longer worrying about Naruto’s immediate safety seemed to have brought the memories back in full force.

"Sasuke, you need to go to that dinner party tonight. You need to go there and suck up to Sakura's uncle and aunt, and let loose. You need to go, so that you can come back, and know that I'll still be here, alive, and waiting for you to tell me how everyone's asses taste," Naruto said, grinning. Sasuke shuddered at the disgusting thought, and then glared at Naruto.

"You're grotesque," Sasuke said bluntly, secretly grateful at Naruto’s transition from topics.

"And you just acted like a poltergeist got a hold of your body. You were totally possessed!” Or maybe Naruto hadn’t quite transitioned from that topic. “Man, you should have seen your eyes. I think you were foaming at the mouth a bit there. Or maybe you just have rabies or something. No wait, I got it! I finally figured it out. You're a werewolf! You're foaming at the mouth because-"

"I was not possessed and I'm certainly not a werewolf. They're dirty and unclean," Sasuke said amused as Naruto went back to his old guessing game of how the mansion was haunted, though glad that Naruto was poking fun of his outburst instead of coiling away from him. "I enjoy cleanliness," Sasuke added pointedly.

"Hmm, good point, neat freak," Naruto said thoughtfully. Sasuke merely rolled his eyes at the comment, grateful that Naruto wasn't questioning him about his outburst. He finished buttoning up his suit jacket and looked at himself in the mirror. After deeming himself decent, he began to head for the door.

"Are you sure you'll be okay here after everything that happened today?" Sasuke asked concernedly as he was about ready to leave.

"I'll be fine. Your fridge will probably be a whole lot emptier when you get back, but otherwise I'll make sure that I won't burn the house down or anything," Naruto said grinning, before his face turned a tad more serious. "And I promise to be alive when you get back - or if I'm not I'll come back and haunt the place to keep you company," Naruto smirked. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'll see you later," Sasuke said as he left.

"Later bastard," Naruto called down the stairs after him.

The entire drive to Sakura's aunt and uncle's place – even with full in depth, practically blow by blow details after the three times that Sakura had called earlier – Sasuke couldn't help but think about hardly anything but Naruto and almost missed several roads. Why had he let his emotions go off the wall like that? Why had he gone ballistic? But Sasuke knew the answer despite wanting to confront it.

He loved Naruto. It wasn't like that was new to him. He'd been trying to seduce his friend for some time now, yet it had never occurred to him that Naruto would be taken away from him physically. Even that first month after they had met, and Naruto had worried that the social services would take him away from the Yamanaka's home, Sasuke hadn't been worried that they would be permanently separated. But to think of Naruto being forcibly ripped from his life: he didn't think he could stand to live after that.

Half an hour later, Sasuke pulled up to Sakura’s relatives’ house, which was a decent size, but not nearly as big as Sasuke's. Sakura was waiting at the door for him.

"Hello Sasuke-kun," she greeted happily. Sasuke nodded at her, noticing that she was wearing a dress that matched the same shade of pink as her hair.

"Thanks for putting a word in for me," Sasuke said, trying to sound grateful, but knowing it had come out rather cold. Sakura frowned at him.

"You're worried about Naruto, aren't you?" Sakura said wisely as she led him inside the house and began to introduce him to her aunt, uncle, younger cousins, and a horde of guests, several of them he recognized as being a few of the doctors that were at the hospital who wanted to examine Naruto. He idly wondered if Sakura's aunt Kurenai was a doctor. He asked her, and she nodded. "Don't worry though. No one here will try and corner you to get Naruto to be a guinea pig. Actually, while we’re talking about Naruto, I called him while you were on your way here. Well, actually I called your house and he answered. Anyway, my aunt cornered my uncle and made him change the report already. She was rather angry with him for filing anything in the first place; you were clearly distressed. I don't think my uncle realized that you were Uchiha Sasuke, and, well," her voiced dropped, "didn’t take in consideration about your past. He said that it made more sense, your hysteria about wanting to make sure you friend was okay after your terrible loss with your family all those years ago."

Sasuke felt his body go rigid, and he looked away. Why was he reliving his past tonight? First his own memories, and now having his family’s massacre being brought up again like that; it was unnerving. Sakura seemed to realize she had said something to upset him. She wasn't the first person to upset him by talking about his family. The only person he had ever been able to talk to about his past had been Naruto. Sakura quickly hurried the conversation along.

"I-I was calling to say that you didn't need to come here because you seemed upset about leaving Naruto, but when I talked to him, he said you needed to loosen up anyway. I promised him I would help loosen you up a bit. I can't break my promise, now can I?" she said, smiling brightly. Sasuke grumbled something incoherent, feeling slightly betrayed. Naruto had practically told Sakura to keep an eye on him.

"Hn," he said, in his usual noncommittal way, looking around thinking it unlikely that he’d be able to loosen up at a dinner party. Sakura brightened anyway.

As the evening progressed, Sasuke had to admit that the party really wasn’t going that badly. He mingled with people. He talked of random things, the doctors actually asked concerned questions about Naruto, or at least, feigned concerned questions – the guy with the silvery white hair in a ponytail and huge round glasses wasn't very convincing with his sympathy in Sasuke’s opinion.

Sasuke felt edgy mingling at first, as though everyone could tell that the reason that he was there was because he had punched the host right in the chin, but no one seemed to pay him any more mind than the fact that he was probably the host and hostess's niece's date. His mind did keep drifting back to Naruto, but despite Sasuke's constant thoughts about his friend, the evening went smoothly and uneventful.

Well, at least, it did until dinner rolled around.

Sakura's cousins and the children of some of the guests were ushered off to another room so that the "grown-ups" could have some privacy, aka, the drinking would begin with the dinner meal. Sasuke followed Sakura into a dining room off towards the back of the house; this was the part that he had been dreading. He hated the way people acted so stupid when they were drunk, and he knew that these types of parties tended to lead to someone getting wasted and embarrassing themselves shamelessly. Sasuke sighed, looking around at the guests, wondering who was the unlikely victim of the party.

Sasuke sat down on Sakura's right, feeling very awkward, never attending any dinner parties if he could help it, and certainly had never accepted any since he had met Naruto almost two years ago. Also, he had never stayed for the whole thing, and had never had to stay for dinner before. Sasuke was not social, and he was not used to eating with a group of people anymore. He adjusted his collar, feeling rather hot and uncomfortable in the late August evening despite the air conditioning that Sasuke could hear humming gently in the background.

"What would you like to drink Sasuke? We have an excellent selection. Mibaijiu rice wine from China, some soju from Korea (even a Japanese brand of souchuu that tastes almost as good) some awamari that I received from Okinawa just last week, Monde green tea, or sake?" Kurenai asked Sasuke gently, the ever-charming hostess. Sasuke wracked his brain. He did not like alcohol, and as far as he could tell, all of the drinks she had offered were alcoholic save the green tea, though he couldn't recall hearing the brand "Monde" before. He personally preferred brewing Ito En's Genmaimatcha green tea, but he supposed if it was being served at a dinner party, it would probably be of high quality.

"Green tea," Sasuke said. She nodded, left, and returned with a glass full of bubbling green tea. He took a sip and tried to hold back a grimace. It had a strange taste to it, and he had a feeling that this Monde brand was supposed to be like some sort of carbonated version like sparkling cider. He sipped at it, all the same, trying his best not to be rude and was grateful when the food came – it tasted much better. He ate his dinner in silence, listening to the idle chitchat on either side of him, wondering why people bothered to throw these parties, when he heard himself being addressed. He turned to look down the table at Asuma.

"How is Naruto doing?" Asuma asked, and Sasuke couldn't help but smile as he noted that Asuma seemed to be as uncomfortable with these dinner parties as he did. Sasuke idly wondered if this was Asuma's silent payback for punching him.

"He's doing alright. Healed completely and is back to his normal, energetic self," Sasuke said.

"How did you and Naruto meet?" Kurenai asked politely.

"He lives nearby and sort of wandered in looking for a ball that was thrown over my hedge. We talked and found that we had a lot in common," Sasuke said, shifting uncomfortably. He didn't like being questioned about his personal history. He reached his hand out hastily, grabbed his glass, and drained it of the strange tasting green tea. He was about to get up and get another glassful over at the small drinks table off to the side, but Sakura stood up before he did, grabbed his glass, and returned in a flash with his glass refilled.

"Naruto's in foster care, staying at Ino's parents' place," Sakura said to her aunt. Kurenai, obviously aware of Sakura's past friendship with Ino, was intrigued.

"That must be good for Naruto. Mr. and Mrs. Yamanaka are very nice people. I remember meeting them on a few occasions," Kurenai said brightly.

"I hear you're an affluent businessman," Asuma said, switching topics abruptly, though still addressing Sasuke. Sasuke wondered if him "hearing" that he was an affluent businessman meant that that was what was now in his police file, or if Sakura had told him.

"I do well enough," Sasuke said. It was true. He really did do well. He wouldn't be able to spend so much time hanging out with Naruto and keep his job if he didn't do everything to perfection while at the office.

"He's actually very young. He's only just turned twenty last month. Barely legal to drink in Japan," Sakura said smiling. Sasuke didn't know what to say to this. He wished Naruto were there with him. He hated trying to be sociable. Even when he had to be at work he was at least partially in control of the situation. He felt like he was being dissected here. He quickly drained his glass, hoping to have an excuse to get up and do something, perhaps to get away from the stares, but Sakura snatched the glass from his hands again as she got up to do it for him. He glared at her back. Sasuke knew she was just trying to be polite, but still, this was the second time she had made him stay put when he wanted to leave the stares.

"Only twenty? You seem much more mature," one of the other guests said. Sasuke didn't say anything, and he was hoping that the floor would swallow him whole. Now that he thought of it, things were starting to go a bit fuzzy, and his stomach was feeling rather strange, though he couldn't figure out why. Maybe he could use that as an excuse to go home early? He frowned, wondering why he was feeling so off all of a sudden. The food tasted alright. The only thing that had tasted off was the tea. He decided he wouldn't have that much more of it. He would just take tiny sips at it, seeing as how he couldn't use it as an excuse to leave the table to get himself his own drink. Sasuke gave a curt nod of thanks as Sakura handed him his newly refilled glass. He took a sip of it, and strangely enough it seemed to taste better than the first two glasses.

"Only just turned twenty, hmmm? You seem to be drinking an awful lot of that green-tea liquor for someone who should still be a novice drinker," another one of the guests said disapprovingly. Sasuke coughed on the bit of tea that he was in the process of drinking down at these words.

"L-liquor?" He choked out as he sputtered out some of what was in his mouth. "Green tea liquor? This isn't normal green tea?" Sasuke asked, aghast, hastily putting his glass down.

"I'm so sorry Sasuke. I thought you knew that it was when I offered you Monde's green tea," Kurenai said, looking upset with herself. Sasuke shook his head. Well, now he knew who the poor fool at the table was that would get drunk and make a fool of himself. It was him, and he had was certainly going to make an ass of himself if he hadn’t just done so.

"I didn't realize," Sasuke said, trying to keep his voice steady to save some of his dignity as he dabbed his napkin at what he had spit out.

"Sakura, I thought you said that Sasuke liked having a few drinks," Kurenai said reproachfully.

"I forgot," Sakura said, though Sasuke saw, through his increasingly blurry vision that she didn't seem like she had really forgotten. Sasuke remained silent through the rest of dinner, though he felt strangely giddy at times, and wondered what that strange buzzing sound was. Bees shouldn't be in the house. Sasuke shook his head, willing himself to remain focused, his embarrassment at himself the only thing from allowing the alcohol to completely cloud his judgment, at least, for the time being.

"I better take you home Sasuke," Sakura said about twenty minutes after everyone had gotten up from the dinner table. She was eyeing his increasingly pale complexion (if that were possible) as well as that he was getting clammy, as Sasuke was attempting to sit down on a chair, but kept sitting on the arm of it.

“Chairs don’t need arms. Arms have armpits. Why would chairs want armpits? They stink,” Sasuke muttered as he put his hands underneath his own armpits, crossing his arms across his chest, a strangely concentrated expression on his face, as he once again tried to sit, only to fail by sitting on the arm of the chair. Sakura looked around nervously, eyeing the guests that were giggling at Sasuke. Sakura herself had to stop from laughing.

“Sasuke, I better take you home,” Sakura repeated, concerned.

"My car - my car doesn’t have armpits does it?" Sasuke asked, his words coming out slurred.

"N-no, it doesn’t. How about I drive your car home, and I can call a cab to get back here?" Sakura suggested gently, grabbing Sasuke by his upper arm and leading him away from the chair.

"Bit of a light weight, aren't you?" Asuma said having witnessed Sasuke’s “conversation” with the chair, smiling through the cigarette now snug between his lips, having an after dinner smoke. He clearly enjoyed seeing Sasuke unable to handle even the smallest bit of alcohol. Sasuke didn't respond to Asuma and just said good-bye. Sakura ushered Sasuke out of the door, and Sasuke handed her the keys, grumbling as he did so.

"I'm so sorry Sasuke," Sakura said as she got into his car and began to drive him home. "Naruto said to loosen you up and I thought some alcohol would do the job. Instead it seemed to make you unhappy and sickly. You would not be a good drinker. I know Monde’s is 35% alcohol, but you did only have three glasses of it, yet you seem really out of it," Sakura said. Sasuke did his best to focus his glare on her, though his eyes felt strange, like they wouldn't move on their own any more.

Sakura drove back slowly, and stopped several times to let Sasuke out of the car to reexamine the contents of his dinner.

“This is disgusting,” Sasuke said, as he used a tissue to wipe his mouth for the second time, his wits coming back to him somewhat at the unpleasant situation he found himself in, off to the side of the road, puking his guts out. He felt horrible. He got back in the car, grumbling slightly, and shut his eyes, hoping he could fall asleep to get away from the pain…

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"You didn't know that Monde green tea is a type of liquor?" Naruto asked, barking a disbelieving laugh despite himself. Sasuke grumbled something. "And you only had three glasses?" Naruto asked, shaking his head.

"I'd never had any alcohol before," Sasuke muttered. "And I haven't ever since."

"Obviously you can't hold your liquor," Naruto said, sighing. He then looked off to the side of the room, his face a mask. "So what else happened on the car ride home?" Naruto asked, his voice catching.

"Nothing," Sasuke said. Naruto turned his head to look back at Sasuke, his face set in confused lines.

"Nothing? What do you mean ‘nothing?’ How'd you go from how you and Sakura were at the dinner party to what happened between you and me if there wasn’t anything else that happened between you and Sakura?" Naruto asked. It was Sauske's turn to look confused.

"What are you talking about? What between me and Sakura? She dropped me off at the front of the house, and took a cab. She had called it before we left her aunt and uncle's house so it was waiting for her by the front of the gate. She got my drunk, and I was pissed. I was glad to see the back of her," Sasuke said, watching Naruto.

"What? But, I don't understand," Naruto said. Sasuke looked at him.

"You don’t understand? I don’t understand what you’re talking about. What don't you understand?" Sasuke asked, looking at Naruto, his pulse quickening for some strange reason.

"I don't know!" Naruto said, running his hand through his hair. "I – I think I might need to add some details to your story." Naruto felt his mind travel back in time, that entire night standing out more vividly to him than what had even happened with Kyuubi…

- - - - - - - - - - - -


Naruto rushed down the stairs as he heard the front door open.

"Everything go well?" Naruto asked grinning. Sasuke looked up at him and winced. Naruto's grin fell, thinking that things must not have gone well with the way Sasuke was grimacing. "Sakura said when she called that everything was already okay," Naruto said, confused.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's fixed. You're loud," Sasuke added and he walked past Naruto, stumbling slightly as he walked up the stairs. As he passed by Naruto, a whiff of alcohol hit the younger male.

"You've been drinking?" Naruto asked, surprised. He honestly hadn't thought Sasuke the type. Sasuke merely waved a hand at him as he stumbled up to his bedroom. Naruto followed him up to the fifth floor, looking amused at Sasuke’s wobbly frame.

Naruto looked at the slightly tipsy Sasuke as his friend laid down on his bed, loosening his tie from around his neck. Naruto frowned, looking at Sasuke.

When Sakura had called, she had teased him once again about Sasuke liking him, and he had been able to think of nothing else the entire time that Sasuke was gone. He wanted to know if Sasuke liked him because he had finally come to the conclusion that he liked Sasuke. Now, Naruto wanted to know if Sakura was right: wanted to know if Sasuke really did like him as more than a friend. He especially wanted to know if he could figure out what Sasuke had been thinking just the day before when he had jerked him off. Naruto shook his head, thinking about all that had happened since then. It seemed like so long ago. Everything that had happened with Kyuubi and then the hospital and the dinner party, it all seemed impossible to have fit in one day.

Still, Naruto was never a patient person, and he decided to see if he could find out what Sasuke was thinking as soon as possible. What better way to do so than with someone who was tipsy and maybe even drunk? Drunken people always tended to tell the truth because their brains were so wasted that they could never come up with coherent lies.

Naruto figured the only way that he would figure out whether or not Sasuke liked him was if Sasuke tried to jerk him off again. He looked over at Sasuke who was lying on his bed, and trying to untie his tie, having even more trouble than when he had tried to tie it earlier. Gently, Naruto sat down on the edge of the bed, facing the TV on bureau off to the side, the remote control in his hand.

Naruto's hands shook as he pressed play on the porn movie he had found. He had paused it just as it was starting the sex scene. Naruto stole another glance at Sasuke, as he unzipped his pants and began to slowly massage his cock. He felt the bed shift as Sasuke sat up, abandoning all attempts with the tie. Naruto could practically feel Sasuke's eyes on him.

"What are you doing, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, his voice slightly slurred.

"Watching a porn more. We normally do at this time of night," Naruto said, trying to keep the excitement from his voice, Naruto waiting to see if Sasuke would indeed help him off again, like he had the night before.

"Not tonight Naruto," Sasuke said, though he made no movement to tear his eyes away from Naruto, nor did he move to click the TV off. Naruto merely glanced back at Sasuke as he continued to palm his own arousal. Sasuke turned his head away from Naruto's challenging glance. Naruto looked back at the TV, wondering if this had been a good idea after all. As soon as his gaze returned to the TV, he once again felt Sasuke’s eyes on him. After a full minute of just staring at him, Sasuke still hadn't made any movement to help him, but Naruto decided he might as well get-off anyway, despite his failed plan. All the rush and adrenaline from what had happened with Kyuubi had welled up within him, and Naruto decided he could at least get it out of him even if his plan had failed. He began to increase his pace of jerking himself off, thinking about Sasuke doing it instead, moaning lightly.

"Stop that," Sasuke said quietly.

"No," Naruto said, trying to be defiant, but it came out as more of a moan.

"I said, stop," Sasuke said, his voice strangely husky.

"No," Naruto repeated.

"Naruto," Sasuke hissed.

"Make me," Naruto challenged, and with that, Naruto felt his arm being forced away from his own body. Sasuke was off the bed in an instant, and had whirled around in front of Naruto. Naruto looked at Sasuke with angry eyes, before Sasuke grabbed both of Naruto's arms and stood him up forcibly, kissing his mouth hungrily. Naruto felt shock take him for a second before he kissed back as Sasuke parted Naruto's lips and forced his tongue inside, Naruto moaning into his first kiss, feeling utterly on fire and quite drunk on Sasuke's kiss. Sasuke tasted like the alcohol that he smelt like, though with a hint of green tea as well.

Naruto felt himself panting into the kiss and the next thing he knew, Sasuke had pulled Naruto's shirt above his head, flinging it to the side, before pushing Naruto's cock back through Naruto's boxers - the momentary contact of Sasuke's hand on his cock feeling like ecstasy to Naruto - before pulling both Naruto's pants and boxers down to his knees, quickly re-exposing Naruto's manhood. Sasuke pushed Naruto onto the bed, falling on top of the younger man and began to erratically grind his clothed erection against Naruto's exposed one.

"Naruto," Sasuke moaned, grabbing Naruto's wrists, forcing them above his head.

"Sa-Sasuke," Naruto breathed, never expecting stoic Sasuke to be so wild as he felt Sasuke's partially untied tie tickle him as Sasuke moved above him, the tie stroking his bare skin as it became loose with Sasuke’s movements.

"Damnit!" Sasuke cursed, before pulling abruptly away from Naruto. Before Naruto had time to register what Sasuke was doing, Sasuke grabbed Naruto, and flung him so that he was faced down on the bed. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hands again, but this time, something was in his hands. Naruto felt, rather than saw, as Sasuke used his tie, the tie that had taken him ages to tie earlier, to bind Naruto's hands to the middle post of the headboard. Naruto heard as Sasuke hastily ripped off his own clothes, and then quickly exited to his master bathroom, before re-emerging once again. Naruto's body twitched in excitement as he felt Sasuke begin to lather something against his ass. He heard Sasuke begin to slap the same stuff on himself, and Naruto turned back to watch as Sasuke was slicking his cock up with the Vaseline that sat carelessly on the bed. Naruto watched Sasuke lather thick amounts on himself, watching erotically as he saw Sasuke stroking himself, the image imprinted into his mind.

Then, a sudden wave of panic seemed to hit Naruto as he realized his situation. They were moving way too fast. He was tied to a bed and Sasuke was preparing him - preparing him for what?

"Sasuke," Naruto half moaned, half shuddered as Sasuke laid heavily atop him and slid his cock along the crack between Naruto's cheeks. Bare skin ground against bare skin, their bodies becoming hot and moist with sweat. Sasuke was grunting quietly atop of Naruto as he slid his cock along the crevice, clearly relishing in the way he felt his cock tighten in between the cheeks. After thrusting himself just along Naruto’s skin for a time, Sasuke pulled back from the warm body beneath him, and then slowly inserted his finger inside Naruto’s ass. Naruto hissed at the strange feeling, but couldn't help it as a moan also escaped him.

"S-stop it," Naruto said, but Sasuke didn't seem to hear him. Sasuke slid in another finger, and then another. "St-stop," Naruto said, his body writhing, stretching at Sasuke’s demands. It hurt, but it didn't at the same time. Naruto knew he was breathing hard as Sasuke's fingers moved, thrusting inside him. "Stop," Naruto repeated a little more loudly, but Sasuke still ignored him as he picked up his pace. The pain he had initially felt was dulling, and Naruto couldn't help panting at the feeling. "Stop," Naruto panted, squirming and moaning in utter pleasure at Sasuke's ministrations. Sasuke pushed his three fingers in and out of Naruto, Sasuke stroking his cock with his free hand, clearly enjoying what he was doing to Naruto.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto, a part of him realizing what he was doing was too fast, too soon, but he had wanted Naruto so badly for months now, wanting to feel him beneath him, and he knew he was letting the alcohol cloud his judgment, yet Naruto had seemed to want him as much as he wanted him. Sasuke threw caution to the wind and took his arousal into his hand and guided his head to Naruto's puckered entrance. But just the slight feeling of his head touching Naruto's warmth, and Sasuke lost it. He repositioned Naruto's body so that Naruto was supporting his upper body weight with his hands, and so that his lower half was now supported by his knees, pushing Naruto forward so that his face was pressing into a pillow before Sasuke lost all coherent thought and thrust relentlessly into Naruto, meaning to make it feel good for him, yet unable to control how hard he was going.

Naruto might have been moaning in pain or pleasure, but it fell on deaf ears as Sasuke was lost in the feeling of being inside Naruto. He grunted as he bucked furiously inside of Naruto, his body as well as Naruto's sweating with the exertion, his movements slick with the Vaseline as well as the sweat. A moan escaped his lips.

Sasuke dimly became aware of Naruto repeating something over and over again, but Sasuke felt like it was coming from miles away. Sasuke rammed harder and deeper into Naruto, Naruto's back arching against him, as Sasuke felt himself so close to coming inside Naruto's tight warmth.

Sasuke felt something warm and slightly sticky add to the mix of his sweat and Vaseline inside of Naruto, unaware that his pounding, his relentless thrusting had torn Naruto’s insides, making him bleed. Instead of taking the time to wonder what it was, Sasuke just thrust harder into Naruto, picking up his pace, going wildly as he felt the body beneath him shuddering and moving.

"Stop, stop, stop," Naruto repeated over and over again, his mind whirling. He wasn't even aware what he was saying anymore. He had been saying stop since Sasuke had started. The first thrust has been pain beyond pain, but now, now he didn't want it to stop. His mind was gone, and he couldn't think, merely feel. The pain wasn't pain anymore but deep pleasure. He had felt himself tearing, felt his body opening, yet it didn't hurt, not in the way it should have, not now. It felt so good, so good, and Naruto felt his orgasm building as he was pounded into the bed beneath him, relishing in the strange way that his body was being pleasured by the man he had come to care for so deeply. His mantra became more grunt like. "Stop, ugh, stop,” Naruto moaned, grunting every time Sasuke thrust into him, hitting a spot inside him that made his penis pulse in ecstasy, and his body feel glorious.

Sasuke was still lost in his own world, as he finally came, ejaculating in several thrusts inside of Naruto, as Naruto's words finally hit his ears, Naruto saying "stop" repeatedly finally registering. Sasuke quickly pulled out of Naruto, cursing himself, and cursing Sakura for getting him drunk, his seed spilling partially into Naruto, as well as onto the bed, as he looked at Naruto in utter horror as his body was still responding to the pleasure he had felt.

"Fucking, Sakura," Sasuke hissed angrily, trying to place the blame on her; she had been the one that had made him look at Naruto in a different light, and she had been the one that had gotten him drunk tonight. “Sakura,” Sasuke hissed again. But then his face fell. Sakura had not made him do this to Naruto. He had done it. He and he alone had done this to Naruto.

'Oh God. He didn't want it. He didn't want me! I forced him. I raped him,' Sasuke's mind seemed to process this horrible truth as he backed away from the bed.

"Kami-sama," Sasuke breathed, thinking Naruto had been begging him to stop the entire time, which – he had, but not realizing that he had been saying "stop" in bliss, not realizing that Naruto had turned them into grunts of pleasure. Naruto was meanwhile oblivious to Sasuke's confusion, as he rode out the best orgasm of his life, his body shuddering in utter pleasure as his mind began to whirl on a horrible downward spiral, feeling utterly heartbroken and used. He fell as far forward as his tied hands would allow, tears streaming from his eyes in sudden emptiness.

Sobs of utter betrayal wracked Naruto's body. 'Why did Sasuke say Sakura? Why did he say her name twice?' Naruto asked himself, feeling suddenly used, feeling utterly betrayed, though Sasuke was oblivious to having shouted Sakura's name out. It didn’t make sense for Sasuke to have said Sakura’s name after he had been so wildly, so completely involved inside of his body. He should have been saying his name. He should have been imagining him, been imagining Naruto.

Meanwhile, all Sasuke could think of was how he had raped the one person that meant the world to him, his best friend, and forced lover, thinking Naruto was shaking in sobs of unwillingness, looking down horrified as he finally saw the blood on himself and on Naruto.

"N-Naruto," Sasuke choked out, quickly pulling on his pants and boxers, not caring as his own cum and Naruto’s blood smeared on the inside of his clothes. He quickly untied Naruto's hands from the headboard to allow his friend the freedom to move again. "I'm, I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I thought, I mean, I thought you were-" Sasuke said, his words dying, unable to say “enjoying it” when he could clearly see Naruto’s blood, his hands shaking as he went about his room, pacing back and forth, his shaking hands pulling at his hair.

Naruto's insides froze as Sasuke apologized. Sasuke apologizing meant that Naruto had been right. Sasuke hadn't wanted him. He had been imagining Sakura. He was just somebody he could get off on. Something must have happened between him and Sakura at the dinner party, but Sakura must have turned him down tonight. Or maybe she hadn’t? Maybe they had just done this?

But why, why hadn't Sasuke wanted him? Why had he just fucked him so damned wildly if he hadn't wanted to? Wasn't he good enough? Wasn't he at least as good as Sakura for Sasuke? Naruto slowly pushed himself off the bed, looking at Sasuke with betrayal in his eyes.

Sasuke locked onto Naruto's eyes, seeing the betrayal, thinking he was mad for what he had done, rather than what he had just said.

"Why Sasuke?" Naruto asked, his eyes swimming, not understanding what had changed. “Why?” Naruto growled angrily. For one glorious moment, Naruto thought that Sasuke had wanted him like he wanted Sasuke, maybe even like he loved him.

"I thought - I mean - I thought you were--” but Sasuke couldn't finish the sentence, and Naruto's imagination allowed the words "someone else" or "Sakura" fill in the blank. Naruto looked about him, as though waking from a dream. He got off the bed and quickly dressed.

Sasuke merely stared at Naruto as Naruto seemed to ignore the blood and semen that dripped down his leg. Sasuke looked away, feeling disgusted with himself, yet unable to move. Naruto looked over at Sasuke once again, confusion and hurt laced in his eyes before leaving the bedroom without another word. Sasuke stood frozen as he heard his front door slam even from five floors above. It was another two minutes before Sasuke slid to the floor.

Sasuke began to cry for the first time since his family had been massacred.

- - - - - - - - - - - -


Sasuke had tried phoning Naruto the next day, but no one at the Yamanaka's answered. He tried calling again the following day, but again, no one answered. Finally, two days later, Sasuke walked to the Yamanaka's hoping to talk to Naruto, not even caring if Naruto had told them, and that they would throw his sorry ass in jail if it just meant explaining to Naruto how sorry he was, and that he had never meant to hurt him. Sasuke had been so fazed by the whole ordeal that he had not bothered to go to work for the past few days.

Sasuke knocked on the door. Mrs. Yamanaka opened it, and looked at Sasuke pleasantly.

"Hello Yamanaka-san. Is Naruto in?" Sasuke asked. Mrs. Yamanaka just looked at Sasuke utterly confused.

"Didn't Naruto tell you? We got a phone call a few days ago saying that they found a relative living in another country that would be willing to take him. All that publicity that came with Kyuubi's death reached overseas to where his mother's cousin was living. Apparently he didn't know that his cousin had died, and was eager to be with family once more, especially his cousin’s son. He arrived here yesterday, and the two of them left early this morning," the blonde woman explained. Sasuke stared opened mouthed at her. Shock was too weak a word to describe Sasuke’s feeling at those words.

"Isn't that awfully fast? Will he be okay just to pick up a different country's customs and language so quickly?" Sasuke asked frantically. Naruto couldn’t have possibly have left. He just couldn’t have.

Mrs. Yamanaka shrugged sadly.

"He's been here for over two years. We had hoped we could keep him longer, and were thinking about adopting him. He finally seemed like he was happy here, but, when he met his relative, he seemed to really want to go with him as soon as possible," Mrs. Yamanaka shrugged, and sighed. "I thought he liked it here with us, but I guess with what happened recently with Kyuubi and all..." she trailed off sadly.

"I'm sure he did like it here," Sasuke said, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. "But it's hard when you've lost your family, and then to find out you have some relatives you didn't know about - I'm sure Naruto meant no disrespect to you," Sasuke said, trying to sound reassuring, inside feeling a horrible guilt well up inside him. 'You left because of me, not because of Kyuubi, didn't you, Naruto?'

"Still, I'm surprised that he didn't say anything to you before he left. I told him that you had left him messages on the answering machine. Didn't he call you back?" Mrs. Yamanaka asked concerned. Sasuke swallowed, his mask falling.

"We - we had a misunderstanding. I wanted to try and apologize," Sasuke said, feeling utterly rejected.

"Oh, poor thing! I’m sure you two can work it out! Here," Mrs. Yamanaka quickly ran back inside and came out again with a piece of paper. "Here's Naruto's new address. Why don't you try writing to him? And of course, you can always e-mail him," Mrs. Yamanaka said kindly. Sasuke merely nodded, muttering a “thanks” before walking off.

He returned back to his house, looking around at all of the rooms inside, looking around at the places that he and Naruto had had so much fun. He looked at the kitchen where he had fed Naruto his first vegetable meal, the living room where they had played poker. Every inch of this place, the places that he had once had the haunted feeling of his deceased family, that places that had been purged and purified by the light that was Naruto.

And now, now Naruto had left him too, and this time, his most important person wouldn't come back because it was his fault. Sasuke's face went void of emotion, his eyes turned hollow. The next time his expressionless mask would falter would be the next time he saw the only person in the world that truly mattered to him...

- - - - - - - - - - - -


"I must have written you a hundred letters and e-mails," Sasuke said, turning away from Naruto to stare at his bookshelf, a thousand painful thoughts and memories assaulting him. He pulled out a folder, shaped like a large book, from his bookshelf. He pulled out the articles, caressing them fondly.

"I kept track of you," Sasuke murmured, as he looked at the grades he had managed to get from the foreign school were Naruto had finished out high-school years, the college entrance essays he had illegally obtained, and the newspaper clippings of the young orphan, living with his mother's cousin, Umino Iruka, who had inherited a large some of money from his parents on his seventeenth birthday. There was another article about Naruto donating a large sum of his money to the foster care system. "There were never any pictures of you though," Sasuke muttered, more to himself than to Naruto.

Naruto's eyes were shut tight, realizing what Sasuke had not from his narrative, only partially listening to what Sasuke was saying now. Sasuke seemed to take his silence as a need for him to continue.

"Why the hell did I tie you up and fuck you so relentlessly Naruto? Why did I…rape…you? Because I thought you had wanted me to make love to you as much as I wanted it. I didn't realize you were saying stop until it was too late." Sasuke's eyes closed as he tried to block out the painful memories, his version of things contorting so that Naruto's voice of years past sounded broken and pained, rather than pleasured and wild.

"What?" Naruto breathed, not believing he had heard Sasuke right. Did Sasuke just say that he thought he had raped him?

"I'm sorry Naruto. I'm so sorry. I truly thought that you wanted me to. I would never if I-" Sasuke's voice was cut off by Naruto grabbing Sasuke's shirt yet again, and looking into his eyes, frantically searching.

"I was saying stop, but not for you to really stop," Naruto said, breathless. Sasuke searched Naruto's eyes, confusion passing his normally expressionless face.

"But you said stop. I knew you were saying something into the pillow, but I wasn't," Sasuke swallowed, feeling guilty, "I wasn't listening. I thought - I had hoped - you were moaning. Then I heard you finally say "stop" and I stopped. And then I saw you crying and I-" Sasuke stopped as Naruto sat down heavily into Sasuke's chair, placing his head in his hands.

"All this time..." Naruto muttered, a hollow laugh escaping from his throat, realizing it had been a horrible misunderstanding the entire time. Sasuke had wanted him. And all these years, he had thought something else. And all these years, Sasuke had been guilt tripping himself because he had thought he had forced Naruto. Naruto closed his eyes, wondering what Sasuke must have felt, living with that kind of guilt. Raped him? Naruto chocked back another hollow laugh. Naruto had been trying to seduce Sasuke in the beginning.

"Naruto, I know it'll never be enough, but I'm so-" Sasuke couldn't finish his sentence as lips were pressed roughly against his. Sasuke stiffened, and that softened in blissful surprise as he kissed Naruto back. Naruto pulled away from the kiss after a few moments, looking at Sasuke.

"I did say stop at first, but then, I really did want it. I wanted you. I thought- I thought it was you who didn't want me. You started apologizing right away; I believed you had been thinking you were screwing Sakura, or someone else altogether," Naruto said, watching as Sasuke's eyes went wide, before his face went completely blank of emotion.

"How could there have been anyone else but you?" Sasuke asked. Naruto merely shrugged, not believing his ears.

"I don't know. You said Sakura’s name and I thought you were imagining her, but it makes sense now. You were mad at her, not, well, thinking I was her," Naruto said, his voice cracking as he looked at the man that he had loved, still loved, but more heart wrenching, had misunderstood. "Sasuke, even though it's been years, I never forgot you. I kept all your e-mails, your letters. I came back last year when I heard you were made CEO. I managed to sneak into the party that old dude was throwing for you."

"The one I didn't show up to?" Sasuke asked, shaking his head. “I hate dinner parties.”

"Yeah, I can tell why," Naruto muttered. "I was mad. Hell, I’ve been fucking pissed for ages and wanted to knock sense into your head. I didn't understand what had gone through your head - though apparently you didn't understand what was going through mine either - but I never stopped thinking about you."

Sasuke felt his heart clench painfully. A misunderstanding. Nearly five years of misery and pain had been due to a stupid misunderstanding. Sasuke closed his eyes, still deeply angry with himself. Despite Naruto's words of reassurance, it was still rape. Naruto had said stop, and that was what had mattered. But now, here Naruto was, looking at him with such intensity that Sasuke wondered that he could still breathe.

"You and I went through so much," Naruto said, swallowing. "I-I should have talked to you. I should have asked you then, to your face. None of your letters ever made it sound like you wanted it – wanted me. They all sounded so regretful. I couldn’t bare it," Naruto turned his face, clenching his face, so angry - so terribly angry with himself for not knowing Sasuke better. How could he have been so stupid?

"It was my fault," Sasuke said as he looked at Naruto.

"We were both stupid, weren't we?" Naruto said, trying to crack a smile. Sasuke merely nodded, wondering what to say, wondering how to voice what he wanted to desperately know. Wondering if perhaps, maybe, they could still be friends - or something else - again. No one had ever understood him like Naruto had. No one had even come anywhere close. One misunderstanding, albeit extremely large, was nothing. It didn't matter. It was a horrible mistake, but Sasuke would get over that as long as Naruto wouldn't leave him again. Sasuke felt freed from the guilt that had wracked him for years, feeling like he could soar.

"Do you - do you still, or did you ever, love me?" Naruto asked breathlessly.

"Naruto," Sasuke murmured, looking into Naruto's eyes.

"Uchiha-sama?" a knock came at the door, interrupting their discussion.

"What is it Haruka?" Sasuke hissed enraged at the intrusion. Hadn't he specifically asked not to be interrupted? He was especially angry that she had done so at a time like this.

"Your wife is on the phone, demanding to know why you're not answering your cell phone, as well as why you haven't shown up for dinner as you two had planned," Haruka said. Naruto's eyes went wide, and Sasuke felt the blood drain from his face.

"Your wife?" Naruto asked icily, his blood running cold. Sasuke glared at Haruka. The woman seemed to realize she really shouldn't have interrupted and scampered away. "Your wife?" Naruto repeated, turning and rounding on Sasuke in horrible shock and disbelief.

"Naruto, let me explain..."


Don’t hurt me! I can’t help but write cliffhangers. So, uh, anyway…what did you think? Review at let me know. ~ Jelp

Just as a note, Monde is a Japanese company that makes green tea wine/liquor, and it is 25% alcohol (I upped it a tad to 35% to get Sasuke drunk faster), and those other alcohols are really Asian rice wines as well.