Crazy Daze

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or the characters affiliated.
Errors have been fixed. ^^

VII

- So now that you know Sasuke’s little secret, – Kyuubi began, - what are you going to do? -

Keep it a secret. Duh.

After we’d gotten out of the dayroom, Gaara had been whisked off by Shizune – who managed his snarling rather well – for some new meds. Sasuke and I had gone back to Sasuke’s room and I’d gotten the unabridged version of Sasuke’s dilemma. Basically, some stranger had snuck into the house and murdered everyone, leaving Sasuke alive. And it wasn’t like he stood over a sleeping Sasuke; no, he’d killed Sasuke’s parents in front of him and threatened to kill him if he told anyone who had really done the crime. Sasuke mentioned it must’ve been someone named Madara, some granduncle or something that had had it out for the Uchiha clan. Apparently, Madara had only liked Itachi and Sasuke. The cops liked Itachi for the murders because he’d been on the scene when a cousin had drowned. There hadn’t been any evidence as such, and he’d been a kid, but still, you do one thing wrong and you’re marked for life, even if it’s not you’re your public record. So, Madara got off scot-free to terrorize more little boys and Itachi either took the blame or got off because of insufficient evidence. I’d promised Sasuke I’d keep everything a secret.

He’d kissed me.

- But you can’t go further. Underage. Can you even get it up? -

I’m fifteen now.

- So you hit puberty. It has nothing to do with getting and keeping wood for a satisfying sexual encounter. -

Pervert.

- I thought we had this discussion already. -

It’s not like we’d have sex here, you dumb fox.

- Doesn’t matter. You’re still underage. -

Since when do you care what the law says?

- Huh. Point. -

I shook my head and wandered down the hall, because Sasuke was about to have a session with Kakashi. We hadn’t really planned anything in order to get Kakashi and Iruka together, but we’d figure it out. Gee, how ironic. In our boredom, the patients are manipulating the doctors. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Well, either way, I didn’t have my session with Iruka until later this afternoon. Gaara was stoned off his rocker, napping in our room and I didn’t really relish the idea of being killed. I hadn’t exactly made ay other friends during my months here so I was stuck with Kyuubi.

- Oh, gee, thanks. I’m like a fucking disease. –

I didn’t say it was a bad thing.

Kyuubi snorted. I ignored him. So I wandered the halls, looking at everything when an overly hyper redhead tackled me from behind. He stared down at me and I froze and then he smiled.

“Hi,”

I blinked. “Hi.”

“I’m Juugo. Who’re you?”

“Naruto…”

Juugo grinned and hopped to his feet, grabbing me up his turned to stare at a blonde boy coming down the hall.

“Suigetsu! Suigetsu! I found Naruto!”

Suigetsu smiled. “Good boy, Juugo. Now let him go.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re not looking for Naruto.” Suigetsu said cheerfully, slowly. “We’re looking for Kimimaru, remember?”

Juugo’s face screwed up for a moment and he nodded, releasing me. Suigetsu smiled down at me apologetically as he drew Juugo to his side, an arm around his shoulder, keeping the other boy still.

“You okay, Naruto?”

I nodded. “I’m fine.”

“Good. Juugo has a way of getting carried away. You haven’t seen a white-haired kid walking around with a tall guy with yellow eyes, have you?” Suigetsu asked, curling his fingers in Juugo’s shirt collar and tugging, like you’d do to a cat’s scruff or a dog’s choke chain.

I shook my head. “Not lately, no.”

Suigetsu gave a little frown. “Okay then. See you around, shorty.”

I glared at his back as he pulled Juugo away with him. “Jerk,” I muttered.

No clue who they were looking for, and I really didn’t care. I decided to go find Iruka and see if I couldn’t just hang out with him. Might as well, I figured, since I really didn’t want to have any run-ins with any more people from this place. Not that I wouldn’t mind normally, I just wasn’t in the mood for company. Company that wasn’t Sasuke or Gaara or Iruka was a bad thing right now.

- You’re hungry. -

Yeah. Where was the cafeteria again?

- Next left, down the hall. -

Perfect.

I’d grab some ramen and scarf and go find Iruka. At least that was my plan. I didn’t expect to get grabbed. God, I was just irresistible today.

“You’re Gaara’s friend, right?”

I blinked at Neji, taking a moment to study him. He was angry, and he still sported his bandages from earlier when Gaara beat the crap out of him.

“No. He’s just tolerating me because I’m cute.” Hel-lo viciousness. Neji frowned and gave me a shake.

“Don’t be a dumbass. Answer the question.”

“Duh,” I replied. Neji’s frown grew and without warning, he slammed his fist into my chest. I choked on my air and gasped, clinging to him for a moment as my legs crumpled.

“What the hell is your malfunction!?” I cried in a not-very threatening whisper.

“Shut up.” Neji growled as he hauled me up. “What did Gaara say to you?”

“What the fuck? He hasn’t spoken to me for half the day!”

Neji glared at me for a long while before he finally stalked away. God –damn– that hurt! Little bastard! If I had had the breath, I would’ve gone after him. Or at least, Kyuubi would‘ve. As it were, he was snarling already.

– I’ll fucking kill him! -

No. No, I have a better idea.

- Really. -

Let Gaara have him.

- Ooh, you’re evil. -

I learn from the best. Let’s go find Iruka. I don’t want any more surprises today.

I didn’t quite run to get to Iruka’s office. Everyone I met so far – with the exception of Sasuke – made me look sane by comparison. Suigetsu, Juugo, Neji, they were all fucking nuts. I would wish to go home but I didn’t have a home to go home to. So I did the next best thing and intruded on Iruka. Huh.

- What? –

It’s time to begin phase one of our plan.

- What plan? -

The KakaIru plan?

- Oh. Heh. – Kyuubi snickered a bit more madly. – Right. -

I did my best to school my face into an innocent if pained expression to gain the utmost pity. Except Iruka really wasn’t one for pity if he suspected ulterior motives, so I had to play this really well. So outside his door, I lifted my shirt and grinned, for there was just the faintest trace of a forming bruise. Ooh, two birds with one stone, once I showed this to Gaara. Of course, I’d tell Sasuke first. I could always go for a pity kiss. I knocked on Iruka’s office door and set my voice to whine if he said to go away. He didn’t though and when I opened the door I blinked at the pile of file folders on his desk.

“Spring cleaning, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka lifted his head from the pile and glared at me. “You wish,”

I grinned and picked up a manila folder, flipping through it nonchalantly. Iruka reached and snatched it back, smacking my head with it.

“Behave yourself,” Iruka said with a smile. “They’re old cases. I have to go through them, so I don’t mess them up. Make yourself useful.”

I gave him a mock pout. “How can I be useful sensei? I’m jut a wittle boy.”

Iruka rolled his eyes with a smile. “That pile, right there. Yes that one. Put it in that box over there and don’t lose anything.”

I grinned and moved to pull the box next to Iruka’s chair, taking the specified pile and putting them in the cardboard box, sitting on the floor next to the brunette. I took the files as he handed them to me and read what I could when he wasn’t looking. Got smacked when he saw, but it was worth it.

“Why does Kakashi-sensei make you blush?” I asked innocently. He spluttered, recovered and glared at me.

“Why does Sasuke make you blush?”

“He doesn’t make me blush. I blush just fine on my own. More so when I get to kiss him.”

Iruka blinked at me. “You kissed him?”

“More like snogged him, but yeah.”

“You’re kids.”

“I’m fifteen, he’s sixteen. I don’t see a problem; we’re two consenting adults.”

Iruka snorted. “You’re teenagers. That doesn’t constitute as ‘being adults.’”

“Consenting then.”

“You’re both too young.”

“Young’s only a state of mind.”

“Yes. And my state of mind is saying you’re too young.”

“God, Iruka, I’m old enough to make my own decisions. Besides, if I was gonna do something stupid, don’t you think Kyuubi would stop me?”

Iruka gazed at me and offered a dry smirk. “Kyuubi’s the one I’m concerned with.”

I blinked. “Why?”

“He’s not exactly the best at controlling himself.”

“Hey, I’m in control, not him. And anyway, I didn’t do anything to Sasuke he didn’t ask for.” I said with a lecherous grin. Iruka rolled his eyes and dropped a rubber-banded folder on my head.

“Don’t be an ass, Naruto.” Iruka said, “If anyone catches you, you may never get to se him again.”

“We’re careful.” After a moment I grinned. “Unlike Kakashi-sensei who wants to do you.”

Iruka blushed a brilliant shade of scarlet. “–Naruto–!”

“He wants to kiss you,” I continued, ignoring the way the brunette’s face grew redder with embarrassment. Or anger. “He wants to touch you. He wants to fu-“

“Naruto! Get out of here! Go terrify someone else for a while!”

Considering he was holding about a pound of papers that could cause some very nasty paper cuts should he drop them on me, I held my snickers until I’d escaped. I liquid at the door, listening to him splutter and grinned on my way back to my room.

Phase one complete.