Broken

------ Ch. 6 ------

Kakashi dragged his fingers through Iruka's hair. The chunin was tense, his shoulder's had bunched up the moment Kakashi had lain down beside him.

Iruka had disappeared right after lunch, not that the copy-nin had tried to stop him. Instead he'd elected to follow the chunin discreetly, to observe. He'd watched silently as Iruka had slipped into the forest and trained against clones until he was soaked with sweat.

The way he'd pushed himself over and over until he his chakra was dangerously low both worried and impressed Kakashi. The look was a mix of determination and irritation and it was very different from the usual light-hearted smile the chunin wore when they trained together. It reminded him of Gai and he had, had to smother a laughter when the similarity had hit him.

Seeing him now like this only hours later made it only that much more apparent how completely broken Iruka had been by the whole incident. He hoped he'd actually be able to help.

"Are you okay?" He wasn't even sure Iruka would bother to answer, and at frist the chunin didn't. The deep brown eyes stared off in that way a person does when they're either deep in thought or simply lost in it.

"I should have stopped him." The words were spoken with the same distance that the man's eyes held.

"Do you honestly think you could have? If the Kyuubi was so close to the surface that Naruto noticed his own lack of ability to restrain himself then I'm not even sure I'd have been capable of such." He hoped he'd guessed right and that Iruka was refering to Naruto and not Mizuki.

"I was..." Iruka swallowed audibly, obviously trying to get his emotions under control. "I was turned on by him. I enjoyed it," Iruka said with a self-depricating tone lacing his every word.

"Iru-koi, sometimes we can't help how we respond to somebody physically it's not always a reflection of how we feel for them. Sometimes the body simply responds to the stimulous even if our hearts aren't in it." He slid his hands through the soft, brown hair wanting to sooth the chunin.

"What would you have done?" Iruka looked at him then and the pleading he saw there tore at Kakashi's heart.

"It never would have happened to me. Although, it's not because I'm so much wiser or because I would have known the right thing to do either. It's simply for the fact that I never would have followed him." Iruka seemed hurt by the words. "Iru-koi, I"m not saying you going after him was a mistake, it's just not what I do. I'm not very good at letting people get that close to me."

Iruka nodded as though understanding, then looked away again obviously still at a loss for what he should have done.

"The things you do that make everyone want to be near you, that make people love you, I'm not good at them."

Iruka turned on his side to face Kakashi and the scar on his nose twitched slightly as the man half smiled and rolled his eyes. "You're a lot better at them than you think, Kakashi."

"No, I think it's you. It's just a side effect of being near you," he said as he dragged a hand down Iruka's side.

"Liar," the chunin muttered, a light blush coloring his cheeks.

"You've been listening to the kids too much. I don't lie, I simply state the truth in a less obvious manner."

Iruka laughed and shook his head. "Less obvious? A black cat crossed your path is supposed to mean what exactly?"

"Hmph, I'll have you know that meant I ran into Tenzou. He's very bad luck, since running into him usually means it's something I have to deal with," he said as he trailed his fingers over the nicely tanned skin of Iruka's thigh. "If they can't figure out what I mean then they either don't need to know or they need to learn to listen better."

"I bet you just made that up."

"No. I don't generally make things up. I might say things that seem very odd to others but it's not because I'm lying. Anyone who really tried would be able to figure out what I meant. Of course I rarely let anyone get close enough to figure me out." He brushed his nails up the back of the chunin's leg; Iruka tensed very slightly but didn't flinch or move away.

"You've spent a lot of to time with Naruto lately." The statement was really more of a question, but he knew he was merely being given the opportunity to ignore the inquiry.

Kakashi nodded stilling the motion of his hand to study the man's reaction, but when Iruka didn't say anything he continued dragging his fingertips over the honey-colored skin. "Naruto's a good kid. He has a lot of promise as a shinobi even if he is a little dense at times. I really do believe he's capable of being the greatest shinobi any of us will have the plessure of knowing. Which, of course, makes him fascinating to watch."

Iruka's eyes softened and the chunin frowned slightly. "Nobody used to believe that of him."

"You did and I have no doubt Sandaime did as well. It really isn't any wonder his strongest ties are to you." He paused as Iruka's face fell. "That's probably why he thinks he's in love with you." This was obviously what was bothering Iruka since the frown increased.

"You don't think he is?" The chunin asked after a moment.

"No." The answer seemed to surprise the brunette. "He probably doesn't even realize it himself but he's mistaking his missing you and the protectiveness and love he does feel for you as being in love. He's a teenager, it's not exactly rare for them to think they're in love with those they're closest to."

"I never..." Iruka started.

"Mizuki," Kakashi stated cutting him off. "Tell me he wasn't the person you were closest to." Iruka's jaw dropped and he stared wide eyed at the copy-nin as though he'd never even considered the idea that he might not have been 'in love' with Mizuki before. "That's not to say you weren't in love with him, but I doubt it."

"Then what's the difference between being best friends with some one and being in love with them?" There was no mistaking the doubt or the irritation in the chunin's voice.

"Since I've never been in a relationship or even spoken those particular words to some one, I can't say for sure. However, I think it has a lot to do with putting them first. I suspect it's also has something to do with not expecting anything in return; that includes accepting that they may not return your affections." His knuckles brushing Iruka's hip before stopping to rest on the man's hip.

"If you don't know what it is then how do you know I wasn't in love with Mizuki or that Naruto isn't in love with me? Seems to me you don't know a whole lot about the matter."

"I can't know for sure. Maybe you're even in love with Ibiki, I'm fairly certain if he loves anyone it's you." He slid off the bed, heading for the door. "I think it's just something you have to figure out for yourself." With that he slipped out the door, leaving Iruka staring after him.

[2.] *coughs* In case somebody missed it this is a reference to their earlier 'random' conversation about safety items/people and Iruka associating Kakashi with being safe.