Double Edged

Song Reference: Misery Business
Artist: Paramore
Lyrics: Whoa, I never meant to brag/ But I got him where I want him now/Whoa, it was never my intention to brag/To steal it all away from you now/But God, does it feel so good/’Cause I got him where I want him now/And if you could then you know you would/’Cause it just feels so/It just feels so good

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Ino was incredibly disappointed when she slipped back into their apartment the following morning to discover Sakura was already awake and busy burning her breakfast. Waving a hand in front of her nose, Ino kicked her sandals off and made her way into the smoke filled kitchen just in time to catch Sakura open the window quickly. “Shit, Forehead… what’d you kill this time?” she demanded, coughing and squinting as she fumbled inside the doorway for the switch. The electric fan overhead whirled to life, sending the grayish smoke swirling around the little kitchen.

Sakura scowled but didn’t answer her right away. Instead, she stormed back over to the toaster and picked up two pieces of blackened charcoal gingerly between her fingertips. “Why can I bake cookies but I can’t even make some damn toast?” she complained as she threw the ruined bread into the trash can. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she’d said it was toast, Ino wouldn’t have ever guessed that’s what the black things had started out as.

Ino continued to watch from the doorway as Sakura sent what she could only guess were eggs into the trash as well before tossing the frying pan into the sink. The hot metal hissed as it came into contact with a bit of water clinging to the basin and the force with which it hit made Ino wince. “Want some help?” she ventured as her roommate began wiping down the stove and counters irritably.

“No,” the pink haired girl grumbled miserably as she tossed the wet rag back into the sink as well. Sakura sighed as she jerked open one of the cupboards and began scanning the shelves for a quick, easy breakfast that didn’t involved any sort of heating up. “I just don’t get how I seem to be the only person in the world who can’t make toast!”

Shrugging and no longer really caring about the conversation, Ino began heading back to her room for some more sleep. Hinata’s place was nice and all, but she never slept well in any bed but her own. Well… almost any bed. Sometimes, she slept just fine. It all depended on who was sharing it with her. All she could say right then was thank God it was her day off. She’d maybe only gotten an hour’s worth of sleep at best the night before. It really sucked, especially since Hinata’s guest bed was insanely comfortable.

“Hey, Ino!”

Ino rolled her eyes as she turned around and went back to the kitchen, mentally kicking herself for asking if Sakura needed help. Sleep… sleep until the sun went down. That was all she wanted. If she’d gotten herself roped into doing housework, she was gonna be pissed. “What?” she asked, not bothering to keep the crankiness from coming through in her voice.

The smug look that crossed Sakura’s face as she poured milk onto her cold cereal made Ino’s eyes narrow suspiciously. Ino waited while the other girl took a seat at their small table and spooned some cereal into her mouth to chew with slow, deliberate movements. She would give Sakura exactly ten seconds to spit out what she wanted to say before she’d get livid.

As if she could sense the blonde’s rising ire, Sakura stirred her spoon idly around her bowl and said, “You didn’t ask about last night.”

Those words made Ino’s eyes all but bug out from her head. Jaw dropping so low and fast that she heard the joint pop, Ino stepped into the kitchen and sank into the nearest chair. No way… No freakin’ way! “Sakura… you didn’t.”

“Uh-huh. Twice,” she gloated, snickering as Ino slammed her palms onto the table hard enough to set the sugar bowl to jumping.

“Bullshit!”

“And that’s not counting the three times he kissed me on the cheek!”

“Bullshit!”

Sakura stood up and deposited her bowl and spoon into the kitchen sink while she continued to preen smugly at her dumbfounded friend. “Yep, I grabbed him by his vest and kissed him right on the mouth. And lemme tell you, Ino… he’s got a nice mouth!”

That was enough to knock Ino out of her daze. Leaning forward eagerly, the blonde grinned and asked, “Was he hot? He’s gotta be. There’s no way someone with a harelip is a good kisser. And was there tongue? Oh, oh… was it slow and lazy or fast and hard? Probably lazy, seeing as the only person lazier than him is Shikamaru. C’mon, Sakura, tell me!”

Laughing, Sakura took her seat again and shrugged. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start with what he looks like. How’s he rank next to say…. Sasuke?”

For some reason, Sakura’s cheeks burned bright red as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. At first, Ino thought perhaps it was just because she’d said Sasuke’s name but when the question remained unanswered a full minute or so later, Ino knew this wasn’t the case. Arching a brow, Ino leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms under her breasts. “Sakura… you did see his face, right? I mean, those rumors about him being so hot that you completely space out aren’t true, are they?” Lord, she hoped not! To not remember a man because he was too beautiful was a devastating thought.

Sakura shifted in her chair and seemed to find the crooked sugar canister very fascinating. “Well,” she hedged as she reached out to straighten the container on impulse. “The thing is… I don’t know.”

Ino blinked slowly as Sakura continued to find random objects to stare at rather than her. She couldn’t mean… “Sakura… please tell me he didn’t kiss you with the mask on,” she begged in a flat, dry tone.

“He… might have,” the pink hair girl admitted reluctantly, causing her blonde roommate to drop her head onto the table hard enough to set the sugar to bouncing again. “But he still kissed nicely!”

“Sakuraaaa… That doesn’t count,” Ino exploded. “Until it’s flesh on flesh, I’m not counting it as a kiss! Ugh, to think I got all excited over that!”

Sakura’s eyebrows pinched together over her eyes as an annoyed scowl turned her lips downward. “How does that not count? His mouth was on mine!”

“With a piece of freakin’ cotton in the way! That thing’s like a kiss condom or something! It doesn’t count!”

“It does so! I felt his lips and everything! Which, by the way, are not deformed!”

Snorting, Ino shook her head argued, “That still doesn’t rule out big nostrils or nasty teeth!” The muttered ‘damn’ from across the table told her Sakura hadn’t thought about those options while locking lips to mask last night. “I can’t believe you can’t even get him to take the mask off to kiss you. You’re so pathetic, Forehead!”

Snarling, Sakura stood up so quickly her chair skidded almost to the middle of the floor. She didn’t go to retrieve it, however, opting instead to storm for the door. “You’re just pissed that I actually kissed Kakashi, that’s all! You didn’t think I could do it, did you?”

Rolling her eyes and following her irate roommate to the door, Ino sneered, “Ooooh, I am sooo jealous I didn’t get to suck cotton last night! Please, if I want a real kiss, all I’ve gotta do is walk out the door and point at a guy! But you… You’ve got a guy you should be kissing and you can’t even get passed his stupid mask!”

“It was a real kiss, Pig, and nothing you’ll say will change that!” Sakura snapped before slamming the door after her.

“Lemme know what it’s like getting a cotton covered tongue down your throat,” Ino hollered just for added benefit before stomping into her own room. Of all the nerve… saying she was jealous of a non-contact kiss! If it weren’t for the fact that Tsunade would kill her dead for messing up the bet, she’d make certain Hatake Kakashi never looked at Sakura again! Huffing, Ino flopped onto her bed, not bothering to change, and dragged her blankets over her head. She’d get even for that… after she’d slept!

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Damn Ino for sucking the fun out of gloating! Sakura huffed irritably as she adjusted the medic jacket she was wearing over her regular clothing before entering the intensive care unit of the hospital. She’d been up all night dreaming about rubbing it in Ino’s face that she’d kissed Kakashi, too! She’d wanted to inform the blonde on how very softly he’d kissed her cheeks, how firm his lips had felt through the mask after she’d dragged him to her and how it had made her knees go weak when he’d responded more gently to…

Sakura paused before rounding the corner into the main area of the ward, leaning her back against the wall and closing her eyes as that weird fluttery feeling came over her again. This was so stupid! It was just a kiss. It was okay to like it, but not this much. And besides, it wasn’t like he’d actually kissed her anyway. There had been a piece of cotton between his mouth and hers.

Except, if she went with that logic she’d be admitting Ino was right. Argh… damn it! She was screwed either way when she thought about it. She either really liked the kiss or she admitted Ino was correct. Well, since she had a choice of evils… she’d rather die than admit Ino was right about anything. So, she liked kissing Kakashi.

Perhaps it was good for her to admit this. Yes, it was. That way, when she had to kiss him again she wouldn’t get all woozy every time it happened. It was good for her task. Yes. Self realization was a wonderful thing. This would build her character, make her stronger. Now all she had to do was kiss him again to put this theory into practice.

Mmm… kiss him again. Maybe without the mask…

No, definitely leave the mask on for now. She’d get used to it in stages. It was like building an immunity to poison, so to speak. Start with small doses and work up until the body could handle the lethal amounts. Sakura snickered at the idea of comparing Kakashi’s kiss to building up poison immunity. Maybe that was why he kept his face covered. His saliva was poisonous. If Naruto were there he’d-

“Ow!” she yelped when an elbow struck her hard in the shoulder. Rubbing her arm, she glared after the group of women rounding the corner. Her brow furrowed as one of the women tossed a smug look over her shoulder at Sakura. What the… She could almost swear that the woman had elbowed her on purpose, but that would be just plain silly… right? She didn’t even know who that was, so maybe it was just a simple case of mistaken identity.

Right. Because Konoha had soooo many pink haired kunoichi running around.

Sighing, Sakura shoved the incident aside and proceeded to the front desk of the intensive care ward. “Hi, Suki,” she called cheerfully as she leaned on the counter area. “What’s on the menu today?”

The downright hostile glare that the normally pleasant woman gave in response to her greeting was like a slap to the face. Her lip curling upward in a faint sneer, Suki returned to filing her nails as if Sakura wasn’t even worth looking at. “We’re a hospital, not a restaurant,” she snapped. “Though, I’d probably take it easy on the food if I were you.” A pointed glance toward Sakura’s stomach, which was partially hidden by the desk, made the pink haired girl’s hands cover the area reflexively.

What the… Maybe she was hearing things. Suki did not just call her fat… right? Still reeling a little from the other woman’s attitude, Sakura said softly, “I just wanted to get the list of patient for the day, that’s all.”

Rolling her eyes and slapping the nail file down so violently on the desk that it caused the older woman working alongside her to look up in shock, Suki grabbed the chart that was waiting in the slot and dropped it on the counter in front of Sakura. “There. Satisfied? Now, stop taking up counter space and my time!”

Nodding quickly and grabbing the chart with shaking hands. Sakura hurried away from the irate desk clerk, venturing only a quick glance over her shoulder to confirm that Suki was still glaring daggers in her back. What was that all about?! She could understand having bad days and all, but that had been just plain mean! Shaking her head, Sakura opened the chart to read up on her patient…

Shortly before someone’s hand conveniently hit the chart and sent it flying in the air, causing the papers inside to flutter wildly around her. “Oh, no!” Sakura stood numbly as all the documents went drifting to the ground and fought the urge to whip around and lay whoever was snickering at her out on their back. These weren’t just coincidences any longer. She didn’t have any evidence of a conspiracy, but her gut told her something wasn’t right. Something was going on and it was being directed toward her. Maybe it was Be Mean To Sakura Day and she’d just forgotten to mark it out on her calendar?

Already tired of the day, Sakura sighed and bent to start gathering the notes up. She’d just begun to reach out for the chart when a sandaled foot oh-so-casually kicked it out of reach again. “Hey,” she snarled, sitting upright to glare after the smirking kicker. Was everyone insane today or something? Seriously, it was one thing to mess around with her but now they were keeping her from getting to her patient, and that was completely unacceptable!

Still grumbling to herself, Sakura once again began gathering the chart back together and pretended she didn’t notice that people were ‘accidentally’ stepping on the note sheets she was reaching for. Naturally, the chart just had to be detailed, which meant there was a crap load of paper to pick up again. And why were the documents loose to begin with? Wasn’t it the job of those at the front desk to… make.... sure…

Suki had unbound the papers on purpose. That was the only reason why the documents weren’t secured inside the chart as they should be. She’d known someone was going to knock the chart out of her hand and had made certain the chart was primed for maximum scattering. That realization slammed into Sakura so hard that it momentarily robbed her of breath. Suki had… Growling under her breath, Sakura grabbed the ankle of whoever was standing on the last bit of patient information and jerked it out from under them. The woman shrieked in surprise as she was toppled over but Sakura didn’t bother to stick around and find out if she’d intentionally been standing on the papers or was a helpless victim of her ire.

Not bothering to put anything in order, Sakura stormed back up to the front desk and slammed the chart and bent pieces of paper on the counter in front of Suki. Apparently, the expression on her face was enough to replace the front desk clerk’s smirk with a wary, nervous expression. “Mind getting this chart put together for me properly?” Sakura spat out, not bothering to contain her anger any longer. “Because it would really suck for you if I had to inform Shizune that your inability to do your job was keeping me from treating my patients.”

Suki swallowed so hard that it was visible and nodded weakly. “Yeah, sure,” she muttered.

A sickeningly sweet smile came to Sakura’s lips as she said sarcastically, “Thank you so much, Suki. You’re so helpful.” Then, she turned to the people gaping at her and shouted, “And if anyone else messes with how I do my job, I’m gonna skip going to Shizune and take it up with the Hokage herself. Got it?” Without waiting for a response, Sakura hurried from the intensive care unit for the nearest bathroom so that she could calm down and have a good cry. What in the world had she done to piss off all of Konoha?

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Ino grumbled darkly as she threw back the covers on her bed and grabbed the robe draped over her nightstand. “Whoever you are, you’re so freakin’ dead,” she muttered to the person banging on the door to her apartment. Someone had better be dead or close to death or standing there with loads of money for her…

It was none of the above, she discovered upon opening the door. Ino’s scowl turned into a murderous glare at the two men standing before her. “You two really don’t wanna have sex again, do you?” she threatened.

“I told you it was a bad idea to wake her up,” Shikamaru mumbled to Chouji. He’d been totally fine with having lunch with Chouji without their blonde teammate, but his friend had insisted they swing by and disturb her. Obviously, Chouji had forgotten about the last time they’d woken up an exhausted Ino. Shikamaru hadn’t. His balls still ached just thinking about it.

Chouji shrugged, his smile widening as dug out a handful of chips. “If we didn’t invite her, she’d be mad anyway. Wouldn’t you rather have her mad at us for waking her up than not inviting her?”

Shikamaru arched a brow but only shook his head in response as he leaned back against the wall by the door and away from the still seething blonde. He knew the real reason Chouji wanted to bother Ino. The larger boy had a thing for her, though why Chouji would ever in a million years decide he liked Ino was beyond him to understand. Women were a pain in the ass, and Ino was their queen. He’d rather spend an entire day with his mother and Temari from Suna than Ino. And that was really saying something considering the other two women were some of the best naggers he’d ever been subjected to in his entire life.

Ino’s eyes narrowed as her gaze flickered from one boy to the other and back again. “Invite me to what?” she questioned.

“To lunch, of course,” Chouji answered around a mouthful of chips.

Her blue eyes narrowed even further until they became thin, glittering slits. Shikamaru began very cautiously edging his way down the hall. He’d told Chouji Ino would be pissed! She was on a diet again, for God’s sake. Lunch was about the last thing she’d want!

“I’m buying,” the larger boy added enticingly.

That was what she’d been waiting to hear! Nodding decisively, Ino said, “Gimme ten minutes.”

Shikamaru snorted and muttered, “You’ll be longer than that.”

A well thrown slipper connected with his head as the door slammed shut, effectively drowning out his surprised yelp. Ino laughed unsympathetically as she entered her room and began getting ready. She didn’t have to worry too much about her appearance, thankfully. It was just Shikamaru and Chouji after all. Ino was still smoothing her ponytail down as she opened the door to her apartment and caught slipper Shikamaru flung back at her.

“You dropped this,” he remarked dryly.

Smirking as she tossed the slipper over her shoulder into the apartment, Ino shut and locked to door behind her. “No, I didn’t. I threw it at your head. So, where are you two taking me for lunch?”

Looking entirely too pleased with the situation, Chouji shrugged and said, “I dunno, the usual place?” Honestly, he couldn’t have cared less where they ate at that moment. He was just happy that Ino had agreed to come along. He didn’t care what Shikamaru said about her being a pain in the ass. Yeah, she was could be unbelievably bossy sometimes, but the fact that she was one of a handful of girls who actually talked to him made up for that. Besides, he knew she was only bossy because she cared.

Ino rolled her eyes and exclaimed, “Of course you’d wanna go there, Chouji! Sorry, but I don’t feel like grilled food today. Let’s get ramen!”

“Sounds good to me,” he replied quickly as he followed Ino down the hallway. Ramen was just as good as grilled steak anyway. He continued smiling as Shikamaru fell into step beside him with a heavy sigh.

“You’re one sick guy, Chouji,” the taller boy muttered.

Chouji chuckled in response. He didn’t need his friend to elaborate any further. He already knew Shikamaru thought he was cracked out to even think about Ino as anything more than a sometimes overbearing friend, but he couldn’t help it. Ino was… awesome. In a way, he was sort of glad Shikamaru didn’t see that in her. Otherwise, he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance. Nara Shikamaru was not only much better looking than he was but easily ten times smarter. So… even though it was a shame he didn’t see Ino in the same light, Chouji was very happy he didn’t have to contend with his friend for her.

Both boys followed obediently behind Ino as she led them through the streets and crowds of people to Ichiraku Ramen, neither of them speaking and only one of them really listening as Ino continued to talk on and on. While Shikamaru watched the clouds overhead, Chouji paid attention to every word she said, from talking about the great sale on shoes she’d found to how she was thinking about dying her hair dark just to see how it would look. None of them were aware of the curious glances following after Ino as they approached the restaurant.

The three of them took seats at the small counter area that looked directly into the kitchen. Ino slid onto a stool and Chouji immediately claimed the one on the other side of her. Shikamaru moved to the spot next to Chouji, just to ensure his friend had every possible opportunity to talk to Ino. Well… that was partially why he’d chosen to put Chouji in the middle. There was also the fact that he could get away with not paying attention to Ino with someone between him and her. It was a win-win situation for all parties involved.

One of the new waiters came up with a beaming smile and eyes that immediately dropped to Ino’s chest. The glare Chouji sent his way was completely missed as he leaned on the countertop unnecessarily close to Ino and all but purred, “Welcome to Ichiraku. What can I get for you?”

A flirtatious smile curved Ino’s lips as she leaned forward as well, purposely pushing her breasts to the forefront and drawing the waiter’s attention downward again. “What’s… special?” she asked back, tracing her fingertip idly over the surface of the counter.

If it weren’t for the fact that Chouji looked like he’d been sucker punched in the kidney, Shikamaru would have rolled his eyes in disgust. He couldn’t believe things like that actually worked on some guys! Apparently, it did. Sighing and once again wishing he had the ability to say no to Chouji, he patted his friend’s shoulder consolingly. It wasn’t like Ino did it on purpose. She just had no idea that the big guy had a crush on her.

The waiter’s smile definitely became a full out leer as he slid a single finger down the menu and within just a bare inch of her breasts. “Well, we don’t really have a special,” he drawled, meeting and holding Ino’s gaze intently. “But this is a really good dish.”

“Is it now?” Ino didn’t so much as look at what he was pointing to.

It was all too much for Chouji to handle. He very nearly dislodged Ino from her stool as he leaned over to look at where the waiter was pointing. The movement, though it made Ino squawk in surprise, also put her breasts completely out of touching range. “Oh, you don’t want that one, Ino,” Chouji said, feigning innocence as the waiter stepped back with a confused look on his face.

“Yes, I think I do, Chouji,” Ino growled as she turned enough to glare at him.

Shaking his head, the larger boy tapped the menu and said, “That’s got a lotta sodium and white starch in it. You don’t like that, right?”

Blinking, Ino grabbed the menu from him and read the item in question curiously. Then, with a surprised arch of her brows she said, “You’re right, Chouji. Yeah, I’ll just take some wheat noodles with tofu, please.”

Shooting an incredibly sour look at Chouji (which made Shikamaru smirk as he silently congratulated his friend for the smooth move) the waiter wrote it down on his notepad. “And for you two?” he demanded a little more gruffly.

“Beef ramen with extra beef,” Chouji said instantly.

“Same thing, I guess,” Shikamaru replied. He handed his menu back to the waiter before sticking his hand under the table for Chouji to tap discreetly. Operation Cock Block was a success. Granted, they were probably going to get a little something extra in their food, but so long as they didn’t see it they could still eat. Or, at least that’s how Shikamaru was going to get through the meal.

The slamming of Ino’s palm on the countertop made both boys look at her with what could only be termed as angelic faces. “Mind telling me what that was all about?” she ground out between clenched teeth, tapping one well manicured nail against the hard tile beneath her hand.

Both of them shrugged as if they didn’t know what she was talking about. “Just thought you’d wanna know what that guy picked out, that’s all,” Chouji answered. Shikamaru didn’t say anything, seeing as he technically hadn’t been involved with what had happened. Occasionally, he offered technical advice to Chouji on how to keep would-be suitors away from their bombshell of a teammate, but over the last few months he was barely even doing that anymore. Chouji was getting good at diffusing the possible love rivals on his own.

“Yeah, right. Like I’m gonna buy that,” the blonde snapped before crossing her arms under her breasts. ‘You’ve been acting all sorts of off lately, Chouji. Why does it seem like every time I’m flirting with a guy your ass is always there and doing something to mess it up?”

Shikamaru shot a glare down the counter at Ino as Chouji’s shoulders hunched forward and a quick flicker of hurt touched the corners of his eyes. “So you’re paranoid and delusional now, huh?” he demanded. Hey, he didn’t care if Chouji was mad hot for the Hokage herself. He wasn’t going to let anyone talk to him like that. If Ino knew just how much Chouji cared about her… No, she wouldn’t change. Yamanaka Ino was a done deal the way she was.

“What’s your problem now?” Ino demanded angrily, giving Shikamaru and incredulous stare. “This is between me and Chouji, not the three of us!”

“I don’t have a problem, Ino. You’re the one making a big deal out of Chouji pointing out you didn’t want what was on the menu.”

She snorted and cast a hungry look into the kitchen where the waiter was placing their order. “Damn straight about that,” she murmured. “They didn’t have ‘hot waiter’ listed anywhere!”

Chouji sighed miserably under his breath and glanced at Shikamaru. Maybe he was crazy after all for thinking Ino’d ever go for him. She liked pretty guys, like that Uchiha Sasuke, not plain ones like him. Man… this sucked! He dropped his head so hard onto the counter that it actually hurt and mumbled, “I changed my mind. I’m not hungry anymore.”

Shikamaru literally fell right off his stool to the ground and Ino let out a horrified gasp at his statement. Before either of them could even formulate a question or comment to that stunning statement, a group of older women walked through the entryway and right up to where Ino was gaping at the back of Chouji’s head. “Are you Yamanaka Ino?” the one with darker hair asked as Shikamaru picked himself up off the ground.

Blinking rapidly as she shook herself out of being stunned by Chouji’s words, Ino frowned at the woman and asked, “Who wants to know?” The woman was wearing a flak vest, which meant she was at least a chuunin, though judging from the attitude it seemed more likely she was a jounin. Ino couldn’t place ever meeting her before, so how did the woman know her name... Shit… she hadn’t hit on this woman’s boyfriend or something, had she? Aw, crap! She hated dealing with jealous girlfriends!

“You’re friends with Haruno Sakura, right?” the woman pressed, her eyes darkening at the mention of Sakura’s name. The women all scowled at hearing Sakura’s name as well, which made Ino’s eyes narrow suspiciously.

“Depends on who wants to know,” Ino repeated, this time more firmly. Like she was going to admit to being Sakura’s friend if this group had it in for her! There was no way she was gonna get her ass kicked because of something her roommate did. She could feel more than sense that her two teammates were now watching the exchange closely in case they needed to jump in and give her a hand. Touching… but hardly necessary. Taking out jealous bitches was a specialty of hers.

“Is it true she’s dating Hatake Kakashi?” the dark haired woman persisted, still ignoring Ino’s request for a name.

Both Shikamaru and Chouji had to catch themselves from slipping out of their stools in shock. Ino managed to contain her own disbelief at the question rather successfully, opting instead to arch a brow and pin the woman with a cold glare. “Who told you that?” she questioned.

“Just answer the question. Is Haruno Sakura dating Copy Ninja Kakashi?”

Ino sighed and turned her attention to the waiter as he brought out their ramen. The waiter glanced at the women nervously before disappearing into the kitchen once again. Shrugging casually as she stirred her spoon through the large bowl of wheat noodles and tofu, she murmured, “You’ll have to ask her or Kakashi-sensei about that. I don’t know a thing.”

An irritated growl came from the woman as her friends began to space themselves out. Ino watched them out of the corner of her eye while her teammates stood up slowly, making their threat very obvious. Immediately, the other women stopped moving, all of them watching Chouji and Shikamaru closely. “Really now, are you seriously going to start something over some stupid rumor?” Ino purred derisively. “Geeze… Talk about childish!”

“Look, we just wanna know if it’s true or not. You don’t need to get all bitchy about it,” a blonde from further back huffed, her lower lip curling into a pout.

“Speak for yourself,” Chouji muttered darkly before his cheeks flushed at the smile and wink Ino flashed his way.

“What’d you say, you fa-,” the woman began to shriek just as the owner of Ichiraku came out from the kitchen with a stern frown on his face.

“If you ladies aren’t gonna order anything, you need to leave,” he insisted, crossing his arms over his chest and looking pointedly at the door. “We cater to paying customers only.”

There was a brief, tension filled pause as the brunette leader of the group met Ino’s smug look with a cold glare. “Just trying to get some information, sir. Nothing else,” she bit out before whirling away with her friends in tow.

The trio remained seated, all of them staring after the kunoichi with less than friendly looks. “Y’know,” Chouji mumbled, his eyes narrowing until they appeared to be closed. “I really think she was about to call me fat.”

“Yeah,” Ino replied absently, a thoughtful look crossing her face as she too stared after the women. Then, without any warning, she stood up and headed for the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Chouji called worriedly. Ino never ran out on a meal that was being paid for by someone else.

“I’ve gotta go check on a few things. Sorry, guys, I’ll treat next time,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing behind the curtained entryway.

Both of her teammates continued staring after her for several seconds. Finally, Chouji let out a forlorn sigh before instantly perking up as he slid Ino’s forgotten bowl closer to him. “C’mon, Shikamaru! Eat it before it gets cold!”

Shaking his head and deciding he really didn’t want to know what Ino was up to, Shikamaru returned to eating his ramen. Well, at least there was one good thing about all this. He’d gotten his wish to have lunch alone with his friend.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you for almost four hours!” He cringed at the sound of Anko’s overly enthusiastic voice. Damn… That was quick.

Kakashi made a mental note that the rooftop over the bakery was now off his list of hiding places. The fact that it had only taken her four hours before deciding to check the bakery proved it. A shame, too. He really liked smelling all those yummy pastries while lounging around with Icha Icha. “Yo,” he drawled as Anko dropped onto the rooftop next to him. He continued to read as if she wasn’t sitting entirely too close to him.

“’Yo’? That’s all you’ve gotta say after I spent four damn hours tracking your lazy ass down?” she griped, snorting in disbelief. “Weren’t you the one who said you wanted to meet up before leaving on Monday?”

“Ah, yes. So, I was thinking we’d work this-,”

“You did hear already, right?” Anko interrupted as she leaned back on her arms while stretching her legs out before her.

“Hear what?” He was seriously going to pitch her over the side of the bakery if she asked about him and Sakura. While no one yet had been brave enough to ask him point blank if it was true he was dating his former student, he’d still overheard plenty of conversations about the topic to know it was circulating the gossip circles. More than a few of those discussions had been far from flattering in regards to Sakura, too. They were lucky he was the one doing the eavesdropping and not the volatile object of their loathing herself. Still, when and if she did hear the rumors… yeah. He had a feeling the medics were going to be working overtime due to a sudden influx of patients.

“Kurenai opted out on the mission,” Anko replied, the brief twisting of her lips indicating she wasn’t too happy about the news.

That earned her a raised brow as he turned to the next page in Icha Icha Tactics. He’d all but ploughed the bookstore owner over that morning in order to get his hands on the first book in the newest series. He was only three chapters in, but so far… It was Jiraiya’s best work to date. Sex three paragraphs in and enough witty dialogue to make him chuckle out loud… It was sheer genius. “Any reason why she did that?” he asked as a pang of regret stabbed through him. He really didn’t want to leave off in the middle of the chapter, but this was of relative importance. It wasn’t like Kurenai to pass up on a high paying mission with little, if any, real work to be done.

Shrugging, Anko began wiggling her feet back and forth anxiously. It was a little irritating, especially when she kept kicking his ankle, but he didn’t comment on it. Knowing Anko, she was doing it just to pry some sort of reaction from him. Unfortunately for her, he’d developed and innate talent for ignoring the annoying. “Nope. I just found out about it myself this morning. Apparently, she just told the Hokage she couldn’t do it and suggested a couple replacements for consideration.”

“Well, that was awfully kind of her.” It really was, too. Trying to dig up a third teammate last minute was a damned near impossible feat. He probably could have called in a favor or two to get it covered if necessary. Tenzou owed him a bale out, come to think of it. But if Kurenai said she’d already found coverage, he would trust her opinion on the matter. “Did you happen to get a name?”

Anko groaned irritably and flopped down completely on the rooftop, uncaring that she’d almost smacked him in the face with her flailing arms. “No clue. Sorry, sempai. Whoever it is better be top notch or else-,”

As if on cue, a figure suddenly sprung up from the ground below and landed with barely a sound on the rooftop next to Anko. Kakashi arched a brow in mild surprise at the sight of the Hagane Kotetsu, one of the Hokage’s assistants. “Sorry,” the other man said breathlessly as he sat down on the warm bakery roof. “I didn’t know where the meeting spot was. It took me forever to find you guys.”

“Wait… you’re going with us on this?” Anko demanded, shooting upright so quickly it was a miracle she didn’t throw her back out.

Kotetsu looked slightly affronted by Anko’s accusatory tone but answered calmly enough, “Yeah, I am. Kurenai-san asked me herself. Besides, it’s only an escort job. Chuunin are allowed to do that, you know.”

Kakashi smirked at Anko’s irritated growl and silently congratulated Kotetsu for standing up for himself. While Anko was very good at her job, her caustic attitude had a tendency to rub people the wrong way. This sometimes created tensions in the group dynamics that made it difficult to work with her. It was refreshing to see he wouldn’t have to play mediator this time around. Kotetsu could handle himself just fine.

“So, shall we get down to business?” Kakashi asked quickly, hoping to distract Anko from responding. He marked his place and snapped his book closed as he pushed himself upright. He hated leaving it off there, but the sooner they had their meeting, the sooner he could get back to reading in peace. Immediately, the other two directed their attention to him, though Anko still looked a little put out over Kotetsu’s words. Bringing his knees up to support his elbows, Kakashi continued laying out the general plan. “On Monday at six A.M., we’ll be meeting with our client at the western gate to escort him and his entourage of twenty people to the borders of Grass.”

“Six, you said?” Anko asked with a smirk. “So, that means ten in normal people’s time, right?” Kotetsu very quickly turned his laughter into a coughing spell.

Frowning at his teammates’ humor, he repeated, “No, it means six. Our client wants to get to the border of Grass Country as soon as possible. Barring any potential roadblocks, we should reach the border in about eight days.”

“That long, really?” Kotetsu murmured, glancing nervously up at the Hokage’s tower.

“If it was just us and our client, then we could possibly do it in five or six. But he’s traveling with his wife and their retainers so we’ll have to allow time for that as well. The return trip should only take us four days max, so… twelve days away is what we’re looking at, give or take depending on outside circumstances.”

Kotetsu’s face twisted ruefully as he muttered, “Great. I can just imagine the hell Izumo’s gonna be put through.”

Anko rolled her eyes at the chuunin before turning to Kakashi and asking, “So, sempai, what’s the likelihood of these outside circumstances occurring?”

Kakashi tapped a finger against his chin thoughtfully as he considered the odds of an unplanned event. Sakura had been right last night that the chances of this being more than just a simple escort mission were very high due to the fact that the client specifically requested elite ninja for the job. They wouldn’t bother mentioning to him that he was actually getting two jounin and one chuunin instead. Regardless of the man power, it was almost certain they would run into trouble. Any time a client assured them it was a simple escort but, oh please, make certain they’re all top notch shinobi, everyone expected the job to be a little more complicated than ‘simple’.

Sighing as he assumed a cheerful expression, Kakashi shrugged and said, “Very likely. All we have to do is get them alive to the border. That’s where we meet up with the escort team from Hidden Grass. From there… it’s entirely up to the Grass nin to ensure the client arrives in one piece.”

“I still don’t see why they need to be involved at all,” Anko grumbled as she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest.

“Hidden Grass is still sore over that incident at the chuunin exams two years ago,” Kotetsu explained, sparing a quick glance at Kakashi to see if he objected to having the meeting hijacked from him. He couldn’t have cared less, to be honest. If Kotetsu wanted to explain it to Anko, he was perfectly okay with that. Taking the silent hint that Kakashi didn’t mind, the younger man continued, “Even though they know Konoha didn’t have anything to do with the deaths of their ninja they’re still not happy that it happened. Our relations with them a strained at best. Hokage-sama has been trying to work with them for a long time now to break this.”

Anko’s shoulders tightened at the mention of the chuunin exams, her eyes hardening as her lips thinned into a severe line. It was a topic that still made her run cold inside just to think about. Letting out a low sigh of breath, she squeeze her arms more snugly around her knees for a brief second before grinning and reaching out to muss up Kotetsu’s hair. “You’re just all kinds of useful, aren’t ya?” she teased, relishing the way he struggled to get away from her. The more he struggled, the more aggressively she messed up his hair. She didn’t boast the title of Noogie Queen for nothing, after all!

“Gah… Kakashi-san, will you get her off me?” the dark haired man complained as he squirmed in an effort to dislodge her from his hair. When she lunged on him and effectively got him into a choke hold, all Kotetsu could do was helplessly dig his fingers into her arm as she rubbed her knuckles hard across his scalp. “Kakashi! Argh… Get her offa me!”

Kakashi stretched out on his back and closed his eyes, blatantly ignoring the other man’s pleads for assistance. There was no way, short of Tsunade ordering him with a kunai to his balls, that he was prying Anko off of anyone. The last time he’d stepped in, she’d jokingly grabbed a handful of his hair… and ripped out a pretty decent sized chunk of it. The humiliation of that still haunted him. Of course, she’d just had to do it while he’d been in charge of Team Seven. Naruto hadn’t let him hear the end of it for several months afterward. The teasing had been so bad that he still couldn’t hear a bald joke without cringing to this day.

After several minutes of Kotetsu squirming and yelping for her to get off of him, Anko finally released her hold on him and sat back with a grin. She was breathing hard and looked incredibly pleased with her handiwork. Kotetsu scowled at her as he tried to smooth out his typically shaggy hair once again. “Was that entirely necessary?” he demanded, his voice dripping with annoyance.

“Mmm… yep!” Her grin widened at the growl that came from him as he pointedly put even further distance between them. As if it didn’t affect her one way or the other that he didn’t want to sit near her, Anko twisted around enough to nudge Kakashi’s hip with her foot. “Hey, Hatake! Did you fall asleep?”

Kakashi’s lips curved upward slightly as he cracked his visible open just enough to meet her curious gaze. “I was thinking about it, actually. It’s nice out today.”

‘Well, you can’t! We’ve still gotta finalize the plans.”

Letting out a sad sigh over the fact that she wasn’t going to let him take a nap, Kakashi tucked his hands under his head and said, “Okay. Since we’re dealing with a group, we’ll space ourselves out. I’ll take the front guard to keep an eye out for trouble. Anko, you’ll handle the rear.”

“Will do!”

“Kotetsu, that means you’re to stay by our client and his wife at all times. Sound good?”

Kotetsu shrugged and mumbled, “Sure, why not? Chances are good that anybody who attacks will get killed by you or Anko before they can even get to me anyway.”

Anko all but squealed with delight, causing both of her male companions to look at her nervously. “Aww… You really think I’ll kill them before they get to you? I’m touched!” she announced gleefully. “Thanks a lot!”

“Uh… you’re welcome?” the bewildered chuunin replied, looking questioningly at Kakashi. Kakashi shrugged and affected an uncaring look. Inside though, he was about three seconds from laughing his ass off. Anko was very much like a lost kitten. The first person to come along and play with her, she’d get attached to. The fact that the unsuspecting man had pretty much given her the compliment of her life by saying he trusted her to keep any enemies from him was just the sort of thing to earn Anko’s attention. Kotetsu had no idea what kind of mess he’d just gotten himself into with this one.

Deciding that their meeting was now officially over, Kakashi stood up and dusted his clothing clean of the dirt from the rooftop. Fifteen minutes, including a tussle, had to be a record of some kind for a mission meeting. He arched his back and groaned under his breath at the series of pops that ran down his spine. That really had to be the most delicious sensation in the world! He glanced over at the other two, noting that Anko was now stretched out with her eyes closed while Kotetsu looked about ready to ask a question. That would be his cue to leave! The day was far too nice to be tied up answering questions.

Pocketing Icha Icha again, he tossed a wave over his shoulder and said as he got ready to jump to street level again, “Remember, six in the morning by the western gate.” He jumped off from the roof just as Anko made another comment about his timeliness, which he decided to let slide this time around. He had more important things to do than get in a verbal sparring match with her anyway. Such as finding a better hiding place, post haste. It was getting too easy for people to find him nowadays.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Ino was out of breath by the time she returned to her apartment just as the sun was starting to go down. She’d spent the entire afternoon tracking down her usual gossip channels to hear what exactly was being spread around about Sakura and Kakashi. The results? Well… Not good. That was why she’d gone straight to the hospital to see if she could catch Sakura before she left for the day, but she’d been too late. There was only one other place Sakura could be, which was why she’d sprinted from the hospital all the way back to their apartment. She hadn’t even bothered stopping to get comfort food along the way. Ino had just wanted to get home to be there for her friend.

The door was unlocked when she tried it, allowing Ino to enter the deeply shadowed living room. Geeze, didn’t Sakura care that the door was open to any kind of pervert who might want to steal their panties? She paused when she noticed the figure stretched out on the couch with her face buried in a pillow and an empty pint of ice cream on the floor next to her. A bag of opened cookies was on the table within reaching distance, but it looked like her roommate was just fine being face planted into their couch. “What’re you doing, Forehead?” Ino sighed.

“Tryin’ to smother myself,” Sakura mumbled into the pillow.

“Oh. Can I have your cookies then?”

“Go for it, Pig.” Sakura honestly didn’t want them any more. All she wanted was to learn that jutsu that could make the ground swallow her up. It’d be a pretty handy thing right now.

Ino walked over and sat on the edge of the couch by Sakura’s thighs, her eyebrow lifting when she noticed the bag was half empty. Damn… Apparently, things like staying trim didn’t matter to the pink haired girl at that time. She’d regret it later when she got on the scale at the hospital.

Sakura remained face down in the pillow, completely happy to wallow in her misery while her roommate gorged on her comfort food. When she felt something nudge her hip, she picked her head up enough to glare miserably up at Ino. “What?”

Ino held out a cookie to her, smirking as she said, “Sit up. You’re taking up the whole damn couch with your lard-ass.”

“I hate you,” she mumbled back, even as she did what the blonde had asked.

Shrugging and looking as if that fact didn’t bother her in the least, Ino plopped onto the couch beside her and stretched her legs out so that her feet were near Sakura’s hip. She settled the cookies between them before grabbing one and sticking it in her mouth. “So,” she said around the cookie. “I take it you’ve heard what everyone’s been saying.”

Sakura huffed in resignation and took a cookie. She really didn’t feel like talking about it right then and there but she knew Ino wouldn’t let it drop until she’d spilled her guts. “Yeah, some of it. Have you heard anything?”

The way Ino paused in selecting her next cookie told Sakura she had. “I hear a lotta stuff, Forehead,” she answered vaguely.

“You know what I mean, so stop acting stupid!”

Sighing and sucking the last traces of ice cream from her spoon, Ino grabbed the remote control for the television and clicked it on in order to flip through the channels at a blindingly fast pace. “About you and Kakashi? Yeah, I heard. It was all over the place by the time I woke up and left with Chouji and Shikamaru. Some brunette bitch and her under-bitches actually had the gall to interrupt our lunch and demand I confirm it for them.”

“And you told them…?”

“That it’s none of their damn business and they should thank me for not beating the living crap out of them for asking.” Ino broke out in a wide grin at Sakura’s exaggerated sigh of relief. It wasn’t exactly what she’d said, but it was close enough. Besides… As if she’d substantiate a rumor she hadn’t personally started. Puh-lease!

“Thanks, Pig,” Sakura murmured, and it was obvious by her tone she really meant it.

Ino grinned and stuffed her mouth with more delicious cookie as she ran through the cycle of channels once again. “No problem, Forehead.”

Sakura remained slouched down in her corner, hugging a pillow as she halfheartedly tried to figure out what was on each flashing station. “How can you even see what’s on?” she finally asked, hoping that by changing the subject she would stop dwelling on her day. It wasn’t working, especially since Ino never stayed long enough on one station for her to see what it was. All she could see was blur, blur, blur, static channel, blur.

Smiling while she continued to watch the channels fly by, Ino said, “My dad does this, so it’s kind of an acquired skill. Oh, here we go!”

Sitting up to see which blur it was Ino had chosen, Sakura curled her legs up on the couch beside her and hugged the pillow tighter to her chest. Some stupid soap opera with really lousy acting, it seemed. Not interesting. She had her own dramas to deal with. “It was really bad a work today,” she continued as she took a spoonful of ice cream herself. “Almost none of the female staff wanted to talk to me. They kept ignoring me, messing with my charts, elbowing me... And Suki was especially mad at me. She wouldn’t even give me my schedule! How am I supposed to work without a schedule?”

Ino’s brow creased as she only half considered the question. It was hard paying attention to Sakura when she really wanted to know which of the women was sleeping with Mochiba. “Wow, that sucks.”

Sakura nodded her agreement, her eyebrow lifting when it was revealed that the guy’s mother, who was also his father’s stepsister, was the mother of his child. Some weird separated at birth plot thing that really didn’t help make the acting any better. If there was one more dramatic pause, she was gonna pause the television permanently. “But, it’s not like Suki to be mad without a reason, and especially not over petty crap like this. It was really odd, if you ask me”

Ino sighed and turned to look at Sakura now that a commercial break was on. It was advertising ice cream, which she didn’t need in addition to the cookies, thanks very much. “It’s probably because she’s been trying for the last seven months or so to hook up with Kakashi. Everyone knows she’s mad hot for a piece of Copy Nin ass.”

“Well, I didn’t know! Argh! This is so ridiculous! How’d anyone find out this quickly anyway? We’ve only been on two dates!”

Rolling her eyes Ino settled a pillow between her back and the arm of the couch and turned to face her now scowling roommate. “Um, well, Sakura,” she began in a tone of mocking superiority. “Everyone knows because quite a few people saw you guys walking together last night.”

“Your fault entirely, by the way!” the pink haired girl was quick to point out.

“And you did kiss him on a public street.”

“We were outside the apartment, not standing in the middle of Main Street!”

Smirking, Ino set the container of cookies on the table and dished out the final bit of gossip she’d heard. “There was one rumor that you actually had your hand on his ass.”

“WHO SAID THAT?!” Sakura snarled, all but leaping off the couch in her ire. She was gonna find whoever said that one and bury them!

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Even in those god-awful baggy monstrosities that all the jounin seem to where, it’s obvious he’s got a really nice ass!”

“INO!” Forget whoever started that rumor, she was gonna bury Ino instead.

Laughing, the blonde nudged Sakura’s thigh again with her foot, her blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “What? It’s not like you’re dating him for real. I can look if I want.”

“No, you can’t! He’s off limits to your looking while I’ve gotta date him, okay?! No, even after I don’t have to date him, you aren’t allowed to look! That’s my teacher, for God’s sake! It’d be like me looking at Asuma-sensei.”

Wrinkling her nose, Ino shook her head and said, “No… I like Kakashi-sensei’s ass better. Now, Asuma-sensei… he’s got some amazing arms! This one time when we were training in the summer, he took his shirt off and-,”

Sakura covered her ears and scrunched her eyes shut. “Nope! Can’t hear you! Not interested!”

Rolling her eyes as she stood up to go put the cookies in the kitchen, Ino hollered back, “Stop being such a prude!” She stopped at the sink on her way out to wash her hands of the stickiness from the cookies. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, Ino returned to the living room and flopped down on the couch again. She fished her hand under the edge of the sofa and pulled out a small red lacquered box, settling it on her lap to open it up. “Now, gimme your foot!”

Still scowling, Sakura obediently settled her foot on Ino’s lap and flexed her toes. “I didn’t grope him,” she muttered.

Ino snickered as she rummaged through the box of nail polish for the color she wanted. “Sure, sure. You’re too chicken shit to do that anyway.” It took a lot of effort to block the kick aimed for her chest.

“Hey, Ino?”

“Hmm?” she answered distractedly as she began painting a bright candy red color to Sakura’s toenails.

Sakura bit her lower lip uncertainly and hugged her arms around herself. “What else is being said about me and Kakashi?” she asked, half dreading the response she would get.

Sighing softly under her breath, Ino paused in her task and hesitated before answering honestly, “The usual crap that’s said whenever one of Konoha’s finest goes off the market. You’re a tramp, a slut, what the hell is wrong with him, how can he go for someone like you… Basically, the same stuff we used to say whenever another girl got too close to Sasuke.”

Nodding dismally, Sakura grabbed the pillow again and squeezed it to her chest. “So, it’s all about me then?”

“Mostly, yes. A few people aren’t too happy a guy his age is going out with a girl your age. Some are even saying you’re dating him as a favor. You know, to keep away those rumors that he’s gay. Then, there are a few who feel bad for you because it’s just so obvious he’s only using you for sex.”

Sakura snorted as a faint smile touched her lips. “Yeah, the sex that is soooo not gonna happen! Still… this really sucks. I hate being on the receiving end of gossip!”

Ino laughed and released her foot before beckoning Sakura for her other one. “Yeah, maybe we should stop gossiping about others then.”

“Oh, I don’t hate it enough for that, Ino. It’s just... I feel bad for people like Suki. Suki was really interested in him and now she thinks Kakashi’s taken.” Sighing heavily, she dropped her head back against the arm of the sofa and closed her eyes. “Tsunade-shishou needs to stop making stupid bets like this.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation… you could try and use this to negotiate some added perks. You know, to make up for the damage to your character, pain and suffering… that sort of thing.” Ino smiled as Sakura began to laugh. She’d been serious about it, but as long as it cheered her roommate up she’d let that fact slide. Blowing across Sakura’s newly painted toes, Ino tapped the arch of her foot and said, “There, all done. Now you don’t look like a heathen!”

“Gee, I didn’t know going around without your toenails painted made you a heathen,” Sakura joked as she wiggled her toes and studied the paint job critically.

“It’s definitely pre-human, Forehead. And embarrassing.” Ignoring the eye roll directed at her, Ino stood and stretched her back out before returning the box where it belonged. Running her fingers through her tangled blonde hair, Ino patted Sakura’s head like she was a child as she passed. “Listen, don’t pay attention to any of them. They’re just jealous and eventually they’ll move on to hating someone else. You know how that goes. I mean, we’ve done it often enough in the past.” She paused in the doorway to her room to wink at Sakura, who gave a weak smile in return. “’Night, Sakura!”

“Goodnight, Ino. And no waking me up early tomorrow either! Kakashi isn’t stopping by until eleven and I want some sleep.”

“Right. Sure. Whatever. I’ll see about how I feel when I get up.” Grinning as Sakura raised her pillow in the threat of throwing it at her, Ino shut the door to her room and locked it for good measure. There was a good reason why she’d wanted the door with the lock, and this was exactly it. Short of busting the door down and forfeiting their security deposit, there was no way Sakura was getting in her… room… to…

“FOREHEAD! YOU’RE SO DEAD!” Ino screamed after she’d flipped back the covers to discover a pile of shaving cream smeared across her sheets. The laughter from the living room normally would have sent her flying back in there for some retribution of her own… except that she had to get her silk sheets in the wash before the shaving cream stained it permanently. Oh, it was on now! If Sakura thought her mornings were bad now, wait until Ino got really creative!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Kakashi had just finished placing the final dish in the strainer to dry when he heard the faint poof that typically heralded one of the dogs popping into his apartment. Ninety percent of the time it was just Pakkun, but occasionally the pug decided to bring one of his comrades along as well for an overnight stay. What wasn’t to like about a place where sleeping on the couch was more than welcomed and free food was provided?

He turned at the sound of tapping dog claws moving over the worn wood floor of his living room. “Hungry?” he called when he saw it was only Pakkun who had answered the summoning jutsu he’d worked earlier. Without waiting for a response, he reached into the battered refrigerator and pulled out the container of leftover food he’d set aside earlier. That had been the whole basis behind doing the dishes to begin with. He’d raided the fridge for leftovers and discovered that all but two containers were now supporting life. Lovely.

The small pug gave him the dog equivalent of a shrug as he sat on the cold kitchen floor in order to scratch his ear. “Haven’t eaten all day,” Pakkun grumbled before wandering over to sniff questioningly at the container on the floor. “Leftovers?”

“Mm.”

“From when?”

“Oh… I think a week ago. Maybe longer.” He honestly couldn’t even remember when he’d made… What was that even? Kakashi sighed under his breath and made a mental note to check the contents of his refrigerator more often. He wasn’t a slob by nature, but things like cleaning his small space or remembering to check the expiration date on the milk tended to fall on the wayside due to his schedule.

The dog sniffed at the dried, congealed whatever-it-was and sneezed dismissively before he wandered out of the kitchen into the small living room. Kakashi frowned as he bent to pick up the container to sniff it himself. It smelled okay to him, and his sense of smell was almost as good as Pakkun’s. Still… it had to be pretty bad if a starving dog wouldn’t touch it. “So, are you and the others available this Sunday?” he called as he dumped the food into the garbage can and dropped the newly emptied container into the sink to let it soak. He didn’t feel like dealing with the crusted coating at the moment.

“Have ta check around, but I’m good,” Pakkun replied. There was a creaking of springs, and judging by the satisfied grunt that followed it Kakashi deduced that the canine had jumped onto the couch already. “Why? Got a mission?”

“Not in the strictest sense of the word.” Leaving the few dishes to dry in the strainer, Kakashi rummaged through his cabinets until he found a can of noodles and sauce. He didn’t bother heating it, simply removed the lid, grabbing an extra dish and some chopsticks before entering the tiny, cluttered living room to drop onto the couch next to Pakkun. After a moment in which he pulled his mask down from his face and kicked his sandals off, Kakashi sighed and slouched down against the lumpy couch to eat his dinner. He dumped a third of the can into the bowl and placed it on the cushion next to him.

Pakkun walked across the cushions and sniffed at the bowl curiously before deciding it was worth eating. Smirking as the pug made happy, snorting sounds at the food, Kakashi dug into his portion of the meal. It wasn’t bad for canned food, but it would have been better hot. He just hadn’t felt like dirtying a pan to heat it over the stove.

Pakkun finished quickly enough, his pink tongue flicking out over his scrunched nose to get the last remnants of sauce from his fuzzy muzzle. “So, what’s the deal?” he asked as Kakashi took the empty bowl and stood up to drop it into the sink with the Container of Questionable Content.

“Some reconnaissance, that’s all. You remember Sakura, right?” Kakashi asked back, pausing on his way back into the living room to throw the empty can out. He took his spot on the couch again and waited for Pakkun to situate his head on his thigh before reaching down to rub at the spot behind the dog’s ears.

“Cute kid, smells nice? Constantly whacking that other kid around?” Pakkun groaned and pressed into Kakashi’s hand gratefully, his back leg giving a short, spastic kick in pleasure.

“That’d be her. Care to tag along on a date?”

Somehow, the pug managed to affect a pretty convincing frown despite Kakashi’s marvelous ear rubbing ability. “A date? Since when’ve you been dating again?” He grunted and nudged the palm on the back of his head to hint that he wanted his other ear scratched now. It always happened; first one ear would start and just as it was feeling really good, the other one would itch.

Chuckling, Kakashi obliged the unspoken request, the result being Pakkun’s back leg thumping hard against the couch. “It’s not really a date. She’s after something and I want to know what it is. It’s either the mask or Icha Icha. So far, she’s not leaning one way or the other enough for me to confidently guess which it is. That’s why I’d like your take on it.”

“Oh, gotcha. Sure, but won’t she be kinda suspicious if we all show up on the date?” Pakkun rolled over onto his back to let Kakashi know his stomach needed some itching, too. Damned fleas were everywhere this time of year.

Kakashi smirked and obligingly scratched Pakkun’s stomach for him. “Trust me, for this type of date she won’t question it in the least. So, can all of you assemble at the north gate around nine tomorrow morning?”

“Nine? So that means ten, right?”

Seriously, what was with everyone today and making fun of his timeliness? So he was late every once in a while. That didn’t mean they had to go changing the times that he decided. Frowning at the dog’s attempt at humor and sighing under his breath, Kakashi shook his head and muttered, “No… I mean nine.”

“Okay. We’ll be there at ten.”

“Get off the couch. Now.”

Grumbling, Pakkun rolled over and fixed Kakashi with a dry stare. “You’re kiddin’ me, right?” he asked flatly.

Kakashi turned slowly to face him with an arched brow and a try-me stare. “Off,” he repeated firmly.

Growling under his breath, the pug jumped down and shook himself extra hard to dislodge any fleas hiding in his short fur. It’d serve Kakashi right to have his place run over with the itchy bugs. “If I’m sleepin’ on the floor, I’m outta here,” he complained bitterly.

Waving over his shoulder to indicate he didn’t care one way or the other, Kakashi yawned and stripped his sleeveless shirt off on the way to the side room that served as his bedroom. Originally, it was supposed to have been a dining room or something like that, but a quick wooden wall courtesy of Tenzou turned it into a space for him to sleep in. The room that was supposed to be the bedroom housed a training area and his books. Shizune had commented on the odd set up on one of the few occasions she and Genma had stopped by. He didn’t care if it was odd that he slept in his dining room. It functioned for him.

Kakashi finished changing and dropped onto the narrow bed shoved in one corner, slightly off center of the window that had a pretty decent view of Konoha. He knew Pakkun was still standing in the living room, probably debating about whether or not he’d been serious about forbidding the dog from sleeping on the couch. A few silent minutes passed before Kakashi grinned sleepily and called, “You might as well get comfortable on the couch, Pakkun. You’re not sleeping in the bed.”

An annoyed growl heralded the couch springs creaking again as the small dog reclaimed his former spot. Laughing softly, Kakashi rolled over onto his stomach and fell asleep.

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AUTHOR’S BLURBS: Okay, so… the next update won’t be for another week and a half. I’m behind on making the cosplays for Otakon in, oh, about a week and a half and I haven’t even had a chance to go through and do any real clean-up on Chapter Eight. It’s written, I just need to read it to see if I LIKE it.

On another, note… I’m pimping my writing website. Mad Sexy Fiction. Go, make friends with it. It’s beautiful.

End plug now, and have I lovely week and a half, everyone!