The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.


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Orochimaru was still in a state of shock. How could Gaara, his best chance for FINALLY destroying Konoha, fall before the main event?! It was inconceivable!

But Orochimaru had to admit to himself that it was the truth. Gaara had lost to a foul-mouthed boy in green spandex, and nothing could be done about it. He'd simply have to find another way to take down Konoha...and get Sasuke-kun as his prize...

But while he was taking the situation fairly well, the Suna nins were panicking. Since Gaara had been defeated, a major part of their plan had been CRUSHED. How were they supposed to take out Konoha now? What were they supposed to do now?

"I still can't believe it...Gaara was defeated...GAARA, of all people!" Kankuro said, still shocked by all of it. Then he let out a little glare, and turned towards Naruto, who was blushing and waving his right arm wildly while Sakura and Kakashi teased him about Hinata hanging off of his left arm. "And it was all because of that blond kid...if we're gonna continue on with the plan, then we have to watch out for him..."

"What do you mean, if we continue on with the plan?! With Gaara out of the running, how are we gonna continue on with it?!" Temari whispered harshly.

"Calm down, both of you! We'll simply have to report this matter to Kazekage-sama. Then, we can make our next move," Baki reminded them.

Meanwhile, Naruto was trying to get his friend and sensei to lay off of him.

"I keep telling you, nothing happened in the back!" Naruto shouted, blushing profusely.

"Oh, and I just suppose that those moans I heard coming from the back were ones of pain?" Kakashi snickered.

"You always were a bad liar, Naruto," Sakura giggled.

"We might as well tell them the truth, Naruto-kun. After all, there's no denying the fact that after what I did to you, the whole village must have heard!" Hinata giggled, rubbing her cheek against Naruto's arm.

Naruto glared at her half-heartedly. "You're not helping, Hinata-chan! And I did NOT moan that loud!"

"Oh, so you ADMIT that you were 'getting busy' back in the room?" Sakura crowed in triumph.

"YES! ...Wait, I mean NO! I mean...ARGGHHH!" Naruto shouted in frustration, making Hinata, Sakura and Kakashi laugh even harder.

"You may have gotten stronger, Naruto, but you are still the same clueless idiot that I know and put up with," Sakura said with a teasing smile.

Naruto couldn't help but grin back at that, while rubbing the back of his head. "Hey, I'm not THAT annoying, am I?"

But before Sakura and Kakashi could answer with a resounding 'YES!', the four heard a loud sound, followed by a small explosion of dust and smoke. When they looked back at the arena, they saw Chouji face down on the ground, swirls in his eyes, as Dosu stood over him with a smirk behind his bandaged mouth.

"The winner of this match is Kinta Dosu," Hayate annouced. "That puts an end to the fights for now."

Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit bad for the chubby boy. He didn't have anything that he thought could help the Akamichi, so he was on his own. Well, he'd find a way to make it up to him later on.

"Hmmm...the matches are finally over," Kakashi said.

"So, what happens now, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked. Naruto and Hinata nodded in agreement.

"Well, if the exams are still the same as before, then the winners will be called up to do a random drawing to see who fights who later on," Kakashi said. "Which means that you might finally have a chance to take on Sasuke, Naruto."

"Heh, I'm looking forward to that!" Naruto said with a sinster smirk on his face. "The main reason I took on the Comedy Combat style was so that I could beat that teme once and for all, so the sooner we finally face off, the better!"

"Yeah right, Naruto! You may have gotten real strong over a short amount of time, but you're still no match for Sasuke-kun! Do you really think that attacks like that will work on a shinobi as disciplined as him?" Sakura scoffed.

"Hey, ya never know until ya try!" Naruto replied.

"Will all the winners of their matches come on down to the arena so that we may begin the drawing?" Hayate called out.

"Well, that's our cue! Let's go, Hinata-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said.

"Right!" The two laides nodded, following Naruto down to the spot they were called at.

As Kakashi watched them go, he chuckled to himself. 'Sakura...you may not notice yet, but you are slowly getting more and more attached to Naruto. At this rate, it won't be too long before you join them in their little...fun.' The Copy-Nin was getting a little nosebleed at the thought of it.

'Naruto, you lucky son of a bitch...'
As the last person pulled their ball out of the box, Hayate commanded them to speak their number out loud, starting with Naruto.

"One!" Naruto said.

"Three!" Hinata said.

"Four." Temari said.

"Five." Shikamaru said in a bored tone.

"Six!" Lee said in a gruff voice.

"Seven." Shino said in a slient tone.

"Eight." Kankuro said with a smirk.

"Nine." Dosu said.

"And if you count the absent Sasuke, he gets two," Hayate said. "And so, the matches are set up like so."

Uzumaki Naruto Vs. Uchiha Sasuke

Hyuuga Hinata Vs. Temari

Nara Shikamaru Vs. Rock Lee

Aburame Shino Vs. Kankuro

And Dosu facing the winner of that fight.

'YES! I get to fight that teme right at the start!' Naruto cheered in his mind. 'Look out, Sasuke! You won't know what hit you by the time I'm done!'

'Hm, so I'm facing that Hyuuga girl, huh?' Temari thought. 'I doubt her Ecstasy Fist works against members of the same sex, so I've got nothing to worry about.'

Oh, if she knew how WRONG she was...

'Ah man! I've gotta fight someone as powerful as Lee? Troublesome. Maybe I should just quit now...' Shikamaru thought. Then he thought about how his mother, Nara Yoshino would take to that statement, and shivered. 'On second thought, I'd rather be beaten to an inch of my life than deal with that troublesome woman...'

'So, I fight against the Puppet-wielder, huh?' Shino thought to himself.

"Hmmm...seems that I get a bye...well, no complaints here...I'll just CRUSH the winner...' Dosu snickered to himself.

After a whole lot of congrats and speeches from Sarutobi (which Naruto found VERY boring), the old Hokage announced that everyone would be given a one month break to learn some new tricks, rest up, and acclaim more fame.

Naruto was slightly disappointed to learn that they wouldn't be getting to the fighting NOW, but could sort of see the point. After all, when he kicked Sasuke's ass, he wanted it to be when they were both at their best.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later, Hinata-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said.

Sakura said good-bye as well, and left to find and talk to Ino. But Hinata stook around a bit longer, and looked Naruto in the eye.

"Naruto-kun, do you think I could train with you for the next month?" Hinata asked bluntly.

Naruto looked a little suprised at the question. But soon, his surprise turned into happiness. "Of course you can come, Hinata-chan!" Naruto said. But then he frowned a bit. "But won't your family have a little problem with that?"

Hinata's face went into a deep frown at the mention of her 'family', but it went away quickly. "Oh, you just leave them to ME, Naruto-kun. I'll meet you at your place, okay?"

"Hey, Naruto!" A loud voice said. The two turned to see Ino rushing towards them.

"Oh, hi, Ino," Naruto said. "Sakura-chan was looking for you, ya know."

"Forehead-girl can wait. I want you to train me!" Ino demanded.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "And why would I want to do that?"

"Because I'm sick of Asuma not training my team, and most importantly ME, enough! I lost to FOREHEAD-GIRL of all people! That's proof that I need as much training as I can get! And with the way a dead-last like you was able to beat Kiba, than if I take on this training, I could EASILY beat Billboard Brow!" Ino explained.

Hinata frowned a bit towards the blond, taking offense at ANYONE calling her Naruto-kun 'dead-last.' But she knew that the final say was up to Naruto.

Naruto himself nearly said no right at the start. But than he thought about it. Learning the Comedy Combat Style involved going through PLENTY of pain and humiliation before truly mastering it. Heck, even Naruto was still a novice compared to his mother when she was his age. Ino would quit right after the first lesson! And even if she didn't, it would still be good for a laugh.

"Okay, Ino-chan. You can join Hinata-chan and me," Naruto chuckled, much to Hinata's surprise. Naruto just winked at her when Ino wasn't looking, and Hinata giggled at the look of mischief in his eyes.

"Good!" Ino said in an imperial tone, like she expected she would get what she wanted all along.

"Hey!" Lee said, walking over to the trio.

"Oh, hey Lee, what-" Naruto began, before he was cut off by the new foul-mouthed Lee.

"Now listen here, ya little cheeky bastard. The old me may have been trying to act all buddy-buddy with ya at this point. But as far as I'm concerned, there is only one thing that I follow at all times, and that's my motto. DTA: Don't trust anybody. Anyway, you WILL show me how to handle this new style of fighting I have, and you WILL show me as soon as possible. Otherwise, I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in ya ass, and enjoy every single goddamn minute of it! And that's the bottom line, because Rock Lee said so!"

And with that, Lee walked away, his sensei Gai shouting after him about how unyouthful that was.

"...What crawled up his ass and died?" Ino sniffed, a bit turned off by the Taijutsu user's attitude.

"Don't worry about him. Anyway, I guess I'll meet you guys at my house tommorrow. Sound good?" Naruto asked.

"Sure, Naruto-kun!" Hinata chirped.

"Whatever, just as long as I get stronger!" Ino scoffed.


And as the three went their sepreate ways, no one noticed the disguised Orochimaru pick up the vial that Naruto had dropped eariler...


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And that's all for now. Not much happened in this chapter, but I hope I set up for what will be some very...interesting few chapters to come. What kind of training will Naruto and his friends (Unless you ask Rock Lee) go through? What will Orochimaru do with the antidote now that he has it in his grasp? And how will everyone else go about their training? Find out in the next chapter, 'Training for a Show: Part 1'. Catch you next continue!