Choices & Cosequences

Note: I finally figured it out how to spell check before posting. On with it



Chapter Seven

Walking into the Hokage's office I knew I shocked her when I actually made an appointment and arrived on time. She looked at me as if I had two heads, then asked what the hell was going on. Explaining to her my first problem, Sauske's fear of sleeping for more then an hour at a time. I went on to explain what I had observed, and that he would wake up look around go back to sleep only to do it all through the day or night. I told of my fears that he was damaging his mind and maybe hurting the babies.

"We talked about it and he said that he trained himself to get along on such little sleep. He said that that it was necessary for him to always be alert, so he slept as little as possible."

"Has he spoken about any of his time with Orchimaru?"

"Yes and I want to tear that bastard limb from limb!"

"If Sauske will consent I would like him to set up sessions to speak to someone, to try to work it all out so that he's not so traumatized."

"You mean like someone get inside his head, if you intend to do that then why not just make him forget the whole thing?"

"That's a form of rape, mental rape but the same and even as horrible his memories no one has the right to take them from him."

"I understand ba-chan but he's hurting my mate is in pain and I can't go and fix it by killing the people that hurt him."

"So you and he have mate then?"

"No, but Kyubib calls him our mate and I kind of agree, I love him."

"Then be there for him, treat him gently, give him your patience something you have no experience with but try brat, if you love him, let him come to you when he's ready. For now try to convince him to come to counseling."

"Can we you know have sex. I mean when he's ready."

"As long as he's comfortable and nothing to strenuous."

"I talk to him, thanks, ba-chan."

Rushing home thinking over everything I was sure that Sasuke wouldn't agree to any type of counseling Uchiha pride and all but I would try. Opening the door I found him resting on the couch with the comforter with the picture of the wolf pack on it, that seemed to be his favorite. He tended to wrap himself in it and he would relax. Going to the front of the couch , he had an open book on his bulge and his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. I was glad he was sleeping and just like that he shocked me.

"So what did Tsunade have to say."

"Your awake?"

"I heard the door open and close."

"How did you know I went to see Tsunade?"

"Come on you have been hovering , and mother henning me for days, it was Occam's Razor."

"Razor what?"

"Occam's Razor, a theory that says that most often the easiest and simplest answer is the right answer, your worried for me and the kits, Tsunade is my doctor and like a surrogate mother for you so easy simple go talk to her about your worries, did she help?"

Okay it was now or never and I wondered what the best way to approach this was.

"She thinks you would benefit from talking to someone."

"I do talk."

"No talking about what happened to you, she says it might help you to begin working through some of it."

"No Uchiha has ever needed to seek mental help, and none ever will!"

"Sasuke, geez what if Itachi had gotten help maybe he wouldn't have cracked up and went psycho."

"You think I'm going to crack and go Itachi and kill you in your sleep or something?"

"No, I know you would never hurt me, you had a chance at Valley of the End and you didn't finish me, we ended up in a cave together. I just want to help the best I can and take care of you."

" I don't need anyone messing with my head."

"Even if it helps."

"Would you go?"

"Yes, if it would help yes."

"Then you go, obviously your then one that has issues."

"Fine no counseling, but I can't keep doing this!"

"Your leaving me. is that it if I don't do this you'll leave?"

"Sauske?"

Pushing up from the couch I looked at the man I had come to care for, depend on and need to be close to and I could feel my heart icing over, like what I forced myself to do when I was in Sound, I had iced over everything feeling in and about me just to survive I became numb. I wouldn't fold, no I had done enough caving I didn't need someone messing with my head, I had suffered enough at that sadist hands. Looking Naruto dead in the eyes I firmed my body, not letting him see the trembling starting, I wouldn't break for him, I couldn't.

"This is your choice, leave or don't but don't think for one second that I am going to let anyone mess with my head even you. I'm tired of the mind games, how much more can I take how far am I supposed to be pushed before I break again, I can't let that happen I'm sorry if that leads to you leaving but I can't survive having to pick up the pieces again, each time I lose more of myself."

Walking out the house I knew that I had the Anbu bodyguards following me, so I got to walking this time used to the kicking and moving of my babies that told me they didn't like there carrier taking off on long journeys. Getting to our old training grounds I looked out over the field thinking about the past and all the things we learned good things painful things and useful things, stuff that kept us alive, taught us to survive out there. Sensing a strong chakra approaching I knew that the Anbu would protect me even if they were inadequate, I had enough time to get away.

"Yo."

"Did Naruto send you sensei?"

"I haven't seen or spoke to Naruto since we came back from our mission. Iruka told me what happened and I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Late as usual sensei, Naruto is leaving me."

"What!"

"He wants me to go through with counseling, to let someone mess with my mind, trying to fix something that he thinks is wrong with me."

"Is there something wrong with you?"

"Nothing dangerous, I'm just tired of being fucked over every way possible, sometimes all that keeps me together is the babies knowing that I have to keep strong for them."

"Counseling isn't so bad."

"Kakashi!"

"I went through counseling, and if you ever repeat any of this.."

"Sensei?"

Following Kakashi as he leaned against a large tree, I did the same to the tree right next to him, waiting.

"I needed it to get over some shit, bad stuff. Do you know why I wear this mask all the time? I know you and the rest of the team speculated back when you worked together and I know everyone had there own theories, but no one knows the real reason, well except Iruka and he loves me enough to deal with the baggage I carry around."

"Sensei?"

"I was maybe the same age as you are now or a year older and I was one cocky bastard then, I was so sure nothing bad could happen cause I was the great genius Anbu Captain, nothing could hurt me no one would dare, until I was captured on a S rank mission, I still was cocky, I could get out of anything, I was very wrong. A week of being repeatedly gang raped and told that I had the most interesting and beautiful face convinced me well enough that I never wanted to see my own face again much less let anyone else see it. I escaped, came home and covered my face. I pushed it all away, I denied it happened, I made my report and left out the facts of what I went through. Everyone was weirder out by the mask, but they chalked it up to my usual Hatake weirdness, no one thought to ask if I was okay, they just assumed and I worked at that assumption, keeping everyone in the dark. Keeping it all inside didn't do me any good in truth it made me crazy, I threw myself into every dangerous mission, did things that I'll have to live and die with on my conscious. I hurt people that cared about me that saw I was being self destructive. I wanted to die really, I couldn't live with the pain inside. The Yondaima, saw this and decided to send me on an extended mission to another of the hidden villages. I went and acclimated into the village and even found someone to be with only at the time as messed up as I was I mistook all the wrong things for right. He was an abusive bastard, that only increased the pain I carried around, and at first I thought that it was all my fault that if didn't look the way I did no one would feel the need to hurt or rape me. Sizaki treated me well at first until I said no to certain things and then he became my nightmare. You have no idea what it feels like to be raped by someone that was supposed to care about you or to be forced to do things that destroy your soul. The last straw came when he and a few friends decided that I was the best entertainment that could find. Sizaki died that same night and I killed him, I left the village knowing that if I hadn't killed him he would have killed me, but that didn't stop my self hatred. I came home more messed up and I did stupid stuff and finally had enough if I couldn't get myself killed on a mission then I would do it myself. Yondaima found me and rushed me to the hospital, afterwards he made me promise to never do something that stupid again and then he assigned me someone to look after me. In reality this person was supposed to be counseling me helping me cope only she didn't council me she was just there, quiet comfortable let me take things at my own pace. Soon I found myself opening up to her, letting things out little by little. By the time I was sane enough well as sane as I am she had fallen in love with the Yondaima, Naruto's mother saved my life and sanity. I don't know exactly what you went through and I would never assume anything but if Naruto is threatening to leave you if you don't go to counseling then it must be serious."

"I killed people, I had no choice, well I was given a choice actually I could choose to do what he wanted or suffer the consequences. I know I made the choice to go to him and that makes it must fault, and I live with those consequences everyday. How do I explain that I caved that I let him play with my mind, how do I explain that after he had me raped by six different men I caved and killed a child. How do I tell someone that I took innocent lives yet I carry three innocent lives within me. How do I explain that I don't deserve this I don't deserve this gift I was given, I made all the wrong choices how do I tell someone that I wish that I died that I was found by those renegades nin and killed instead of you finding me. I don't deserve this life, and I'm afraid that having my head messed with will bring all the things I fight not to let overwhelm, back to the surface and honestly I wouldn't be able to put the pieces back together."

"First off your not alone, you don't have to carry all the pieces alone, neither do you have to keep it all together all the time, that only leads down the wrong path, acting like everything is fine and wonderful is the dead wrong thing to do."

"Then what do I do?"

"Face it, accept that you had no choice, none really he didn't give you a choice Sauske, he only gave you pain and mind games, you made the only choice available to you and your a victim just like that child you had no choice to kill. That's the hardest part admitting you were a victim as much as any of the people you hurt. Next don't fear what you have with Naruto, lord knows that boy would never do one thing to hurt you, he thinks he's doing what needs to be done to help you beyond that he would never hurt you or your children, he's done nothing but train to fight to get you back, yearn for you and become this depressed shell. When we brought you back it was like his light came back. Don't let him leave or leave him you two need each other, besides he's there father, do you really think he would leave you."

"I just don't think I could handle having to think about it all, much less talk about it."

"Do you fell safe with me, you know trust me and stuff?"

"Of course sensei."

"Then meet your councilor, I won't push you or rush you when ever you need to talk I'll listen and everything is confidential unless you tell me different even from Tsunade."

"What about Iruka?'

"We don't keep secrets from each other but I will tell him that I'm counseling you and that it's private. He'll respect that."

Nodding I looked at my sensei realizing Naruto might not have sent him, but Tsunade had.

"Tell Tsunade thank you and that I accept. I'm going home and hopefully my dobe is still there."

"I'm sure he is, goodnight Sauske."

"Sensei."

I was tired by the time I made it home and I found a blonde head in one of the books from the pile on the table. Going to the couch I sat down as close as I could get looking on while he read. Reaching for one of his hands I took the book from his hands and put it on the cushion, taking that same hand I placed it on my bulge.

"They haven't stopped kicking the crap out of me since I walked out, they are very opinionated, but they are your children. I'm sorry I'm being so difficult. I need you more then I need a lot of things and if there's away to work it out I want to, we need to not just for ourselves but our kits. If you can bear with me I'm going to be talking to someone, actually Kakashi."

"That pervert!"

"Naruto, there's more to him then what he shows everyone and he has his reasons. Besides he's the only one I can be comfortable with and trust not to mess with my head."

"Alright , jeez there really active in there they been kicking up a storm."

"I know and I'm very tired from my walk to and from the training grounds."

"You got that far?"

"Um, I don't think I can even get off the couch right now."

"That's okay, put your feet up and relax I'll fetch your pillow and blanket."

"No I'll use the wolf one, but a pillow sounds good."

Lifting my head for the pillow, I laid down and expected Naruto to go to his room, instead he turned off the main light and turned on a lamp sat down lifting my feet to his lap and rubbed them as he went back to reading. When he hit a particular tender spot on my left foot I moaned and squirmed.

"Your ticklish unbelievable."

"Tickling me not helping me sleep here."

"Alright but"

Jumping when he dragged a light finger over the spot, I glared at him.

"Naruto, I'm really tired."

"Okay sleep Teme I won't do it again.'"

Nodding I closed my eyes and let my body relax. Waking up I felt trapped, for a second my breath hitched and panic came quickly, looking at what was holding me down I swallowed my panic, Naruto, he had slipped behind me spoon fashion and wrapped himself around me, Looking around the room I spotted a clock, and my mouth opened in a silent gasp. Six hours I had slept six hours, not waking once needing to ensure my safety. What was more I had slept through Naruto holding me not fighting once to get away. Smiling I snuggled back into his body, enjoying being held, until a certain part of Naruto woke up even though he was still asleep. Not wanting to panic, I reminded myself this was Dobe he wouldn't force me or hurt me, but I couldn't get over the fact that he was aroused by me that he wanted me. Pulling his arms off my stomach I untangled our legs and got off the couch, heading to the bathroom I decided to ignore what happened and to avoid situations like this. Showering I dressed quickly, when I went back to the living room he was just sitting up yawning and stretching. Heading to the kitchen I began taking out the stuff for breakfast. Mixing the eggs I began dipping the bread in the mixture for French toast, and turning the coffee machine off poured a huge cup for the still groggy Naruto as he came into the kitchen following the scent of cooking food and fresh coffee. Serving I sat down picked up my glass of mile, took a long gulp and set about eating.

"Any strawberries, they would go great with this."

"Fridge, we need to go shopping soon. I'll make up a list."

"How did you sleep, I didn't feel you move once through the night."

"I didn't I slept a full six hours, that walk really took it out of me."

"I guess we found a cure for your problem, just get you on a long walk and you drop out for a long enough time to really rest."

"Actually I think it was a combination of things."

"Really such as?'

"Long walk plus feeling safe and warm, you ended up sleeping with me spooned behind me arms and legs wrapped around me, the kits quieted enough to allow me to rest and you holding me made me feel safe instead of trapped."

"Really, then when did you get up."

"I needed to make breakfast."

"It wasn't because of something else?"

"Like what?"

"Sauske, I know very well I woke up um you know um..."

"I handled it, I'm fine. Finish eating I'm going to make that list and you still haven't fixed my door."

Getting up I went to rinse the dishes and pans, washing the dishes quickly I went to the den got paper and pen and started making a list of what we needed. Hearing knocking on the door I went to answer it.

"Hey you didn't ask who it was."

"The Anbu wouldn't allow anyone we didn't know to get this close, besides I sensed Sakura's chakra, coming to the house, you should have felt it to."

"Hey Sakura."

"Naruto, I wanted to come visit, I haven't seen you guys since the mission when we got Sauske back. I want to treat you guys out to lunch."

"Thanks Sakura, we accept well after I fix a door and go shopping."

Naruto, I can't go but enjoy yourself."

"What the hell. yes you can."

"I have nothing to wear."

"What you got on is fine."

"Dobe these are my house clothes and they show I'm pregnant, I doubt if the village would understand a pregnant man especially one considered a traitor."

"To hell with what the villagers think and so what I like that your showing, your adorable. Besides you went out before."

"At night, late night where it wasn't likely to be seen. Besides I don't have out clothes."

"Then add that to the shopping list."

"Ohhh a shopping trip and a makeover."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry we'll get the cutest outfits."

"No, no way am I letting you dress me up."

"Ah come on it'll be fun besides I have an idea, can you use a henge or just do Naruto's sexy no jutsu and turn into a pregnant girl."

"Heh, heh yeah Teme can't you do a simply jutsu?"

Growling I stomped to my room grabbed the baggiest shirt and pants I could find and went to the bathroom. Shouting down the hall at Naruto I reminded him that the door wouldn’t fix itself. Stripping I did the hand seals and called sexy no jutsu, widening my eyes and blinking a few times I looked in the mirror. Kami, my hair was darker then raven black, longer it reached my flared hips, hips that cradled my babies relieving the pressure that I lived with being male and pregnant. My breasts were heavy and sensitive feeling as well as filled with milk. Great I had huge breasts, I'm sure that would have the Dobe rolling around on the floor. Heading to the closet I reached into the side that held Tsunade's stuff and found a bra, it looked like I would be in for torture putting that on. Putting it on and clipping it closed in front it was a bit tight and rubbed against my sensitized skin making me moan softly. Great my body was deciding to betray me now. Huffing I pulled the shirt over my head, pulling the pants on I found a brush, brushed out my hair pulled it over my shoulder braiding it down leaving my bangs in my eyes. Taking a deep breath I left the bathroom. The hammer Naruto was holding dropped to the floor with a thunk and his jaw might as well have made the same sound.

"Holy shit, your hot, I mean holy crap your frigging a stud as a guy but this, I’m coming shopping with you."

"The door Dobe."

Hearing the softer sound of my own voice surprised me.

"Holy crap, your voice too, yeah no your not going out there without me the door can wait, let's go."

The shopping center wasn't that packed but still I could feel eyes looking at me staring at me and it was making me uncomfortable it was pissing off Naruto though and that was a side benefit seeing him glare at ever male that dared look at me.

"Dobe I need to sit down for a bit, besides were hungry."

Rubbing my stomach the babies were being active kicking and moving.

"Hey Sakura-Chan time for lunch Sausu needs to rest and eat."

I'll go order what do you two want."

"Um Miso soup, rice balls, dango,"

"Wow that's a lot."

"Um were hungry, thanks Sakura-Chan."

"And you Naruto."

"Miso Ramen for me."

After lunch and a bathroom trip which was hella funny watching Sasuke stomp into the woman's room. We found a suitable store to get a few clothes for him two seconds later we were mobbed the sales woman attacked wanting to rub a very pregnant belly and discuss the ordeals of carrying a baby, of course I had to let it slip that he was carrying triplets and by the glare of murder I knew I would pay for it. After the store Sasuke dragged me to the hardware store to buy stuff for fixing the door and I knew trouble was brewing. the stupid clerk kept staring at Sasuke's breasts then ass every time he turned around. Two seconds later he walked over and signed his own death warrant.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh, hello, um I need to fix a door and I think the hinges are broken so I'm looking for the right one's to replace them"

"Sasu. I told you I'd fix the damn door."

"Do you know what kind of hinges, size say large for instance."

"Oh please."

Sakura, can you believe that weak line."

"Shut up dobe I take fixing the door very serious."

"There about this big, silver, interlocking."

"Um I think we have some in back if you'll follow me."

"Sasu, we have more shopping to do and you must be tired being pregnant and all."

Grinning I saw the red blush color the cheeks of my mate.

"I'm fine lunch gave me a second wind."

"Well then if you have so much energy let's hurry home and put it to good use."

Seeing everyone blush I pushed it a bit further and grabbed his ass squeezing it. Feeling him jump and growl at me I smiled a huge smile watching deep red color the pale cheeks again.

"Dobe, stop, okay I get it. Um I'm sure my boyfriend knows what we need to fix the door so he'll get the hinges. Sakura, I need to go to the bathroom again."

Watching Sauske practically drag the pink haired girl behind her. I smirked at the clerk.

"You know I didn't appreciate you staring at my girl's ass and breasts like they were on a buffet line, but I understand even pregnant she's hot a hell so your going to get me those hinges and pay for them out of your own pocket and we'll call it good, or I could beat the hell out of you. Personally I like the beat down scenario."

Leaving the store with the bag of hinges I went to the ladies room area and waited.

"Sasu are you all right?"

"How could he do that, I mean I know I was baiting him but to grab me like that, he knows I don't like being touched like that."

"Your shaking, should I get help.?"

"No, no I've actually had a good time today well minus getting rubbed like a Buddha, I don't want to ruin it, just give me a minute."

Getting a grip I controlled my shaking and pasted on my best face. Leaving the bathroom I found Naruto waiting for us and I went to him smiled, and apologized for provoking him.

"Let's go food shopping that's the last stop."

We left the shopping center and headed for the market, we picked up what we needed and a few other things, halfway through the trip I felt weak. Leaning on Naruto, he looked at me worriedly

"We need to go home, I can't hold the jutsu for much longer."

"Sasu?"

"I'll be okay just need to rest, we did a whole lot today."

"Okay, hey Sakura you ready Sasu wants to get out of her tight clothes."

"Okay sure let's go."

As soon as we entered the house I reversed the jutsu, shaking and feeling really weak, I stumbled to the couch.

"Sauske?"

"Need to sleep Dobe, I burned through a lot of chakra today I need to replace it, wake me for dinner."

Closing my eyes I was out before I even had another thought. Waking up hissing the cramps in my legs were terrible making me hiss and moan, reaching for my legs I began rubbing to try to work out the cramps.

"Sauske you okay, you were moaning?"

Shaking my head I kept rubbing trying to work out the pain. biting my lip to hold back another moan, Naruto lifted my legs quickly, sat down and moved my hands.

"Your legs are cramping from over doing today? Relax let me give you a massage."

Ten minutes I was moaning in pleasure his massage had eased the cramps and released the tension knotting my muscles.

"You should have stopped earlier told us you needed to stop for more then lunch. Your five and a half months you just can't act like your the same Uchiha and go running all over the place!"

Covering his mouth with my hand I shook my head

"I needed that outing Dobe, I had a very good time, I hadn't realized how much I craved doing something so normal, yes I overdid it a bit, but you were here and fixed it, thank you."

"Oh okay, can I ask a question?"

"Sure?"

"Why didn't you deck that clerk, I mean if I was gawking at your breasts and ass like that you would have laid me out."

"I needed that to, it gave me something that I had no idea I was lacking."

"Which Was?"

"To feel desirable, like you said I'm huge at five and a half months, I can't explain it something inside my female persona wanted, needed to feel sexy, desired."

"What about the male persona, do you feel the same."

"No I don't want anyone finding me desirable, I that..."

"Teme?"

"While Orichmaru raped me he kept mentioning how sexy I was how my looks were what caught his attention."

"Sasuke, baby."

"It's okay, I'll deal with it when I talk to Kakashi later today, he'll be coming over soon, do you think you can go do something else?"

"Of course I'll get gone when he comes and come back two hours after is that okay?"

Nodding, I lay back down and shifted my legs a bit, silently asking for him to continue the massage. When Kakashi came over, Naruto did as he said and left. Kakashi asked why I was on the couch I explained about our outing and my need to get out and my other needs that arose as a female and Naruto's action over it we talked about a lot of stuff and we discussed my conflicting emotions and why I felt them. True to his word he came back two hours later and scolded me for being in the kitchen cooking saying I should be laying down after the day I had. I smiled and told him I was making sesame pork and pan fried noodles, that changed his mind quickly and he went and finished the door while I cooked. When we sat down to eat I was shocked when he took my hand in his and thanked me for taking care of him by cooking for him. Blushing and nodding we ate in silence enjoying the peace and I left my hand in his.



Wow I just had to let that out it is looooong, I hope you all enjoy it so flirty girl Sasu, she's one hot mama even pregnant should I have her come back.

:I finally figured it out how to spell check before posting. On with it



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