Illuminating Heaven

Title: Illuminating Heaven / 天照 / Amaterasu

Pairing: Kakashi/Sasuke

Rating: NC-17

Warning: Rating is no longer just a technicality.

A/N: Set in post-canon. Reviews highly appreciated. A huge thank you to my lovely beta editor ka0richan @ LJ. This fic so would not be what it is now without her!

Summary: Kakashi'd wondered when and if he'd ever encounter his prodigal former student again, but never expected it to be quite like this.

This Chapter: "He tried to form a name but found the syllables lost in a moan"







The Third Night



Memory.



It had a funny way of creeping up just when he least expected it. Swift and destructive like a river in the midst of a storm, waters swirling fast with a sense of purpose. It seemed to know just which deltas to flood, which banks to overflow. And sometimes the surge was too much to handle, as it was now, with eidetic slivers of the past slipping under the crack of a door Sasuke thought he'd firmly locked in the back of his mind.



He remembered the overwhelming intensity of killing intent that oozed around him thicker than the mist he was caught in; how it grabbed him by the lungs and squeezed so tight, it took all his energy to suck in air; how Kakashi sensed without seeing, the fear that had him trembling and shaking, ready to take his own life to escape that feeling of helplessness. The jounin's voice had been so reaffirming then, as he told him not to worry; that he'd protect them with his life; that he wouldn't let anyone on his team die.



And Sasuke remembered how much he believed him.



But that was then. Things were different then -- easier, simpler. Sasuke wasn't sure how things ended up being so complicated and convoluted or why he was fated to be caught up in a sea he, at times, didn't know how to navigate.



Like now, with Kakashi, smiling at him so gently he wasn't sure he could handle looking at him. His face was so unguarded and filled with so much warmth and softness and everything that told Sasuke he could trust him again, when it was the last thing he wanted to do.



He hadn't trusted anyone in years, hadn't needed to. He told himself he wasn't going to start doing it now either.



The conflict that stitched itself across his face as he struggled with himself became rather apparent to Kakashi, who fell silent with the slightest of smiles tinging his lips. The jounin could see the uncertainty and the apprehension that colored the boy's countenance as he vacillated between the desire to trust and the fear of doing just that. But Kakashi had saved his life more than once, when he had been under no obligation to do so; and had that fight between them been anything other than genjutsu--



A visible shudder rose up Sasuke's back and he bit down on his lower lip, tearing his eyes away from Kakashi's face, prompting the jounin to move on, now that the moment had passed and he had Sasuke just where he wanted him.



Vulnerable.



"I think it's time you tell me what you were doing, breaking into that base."



Sasuke didn't look up at him, but he slightly flinched, his eyebrows drawing together in a frown as he worried his lower lip with a bit of his teeth. It was evident that the boy didn't want to explain his purpose, so Kakashi waited in silence, and let the intensity of his gaze wash over his former student.



"...they have something I want," Sasuke finally admitted after a moment of scrutiny, his voice quiet.



"Something worth risking your life for?"



"Yes."



With the way Sasuke's lips set, tightly pressed together in a stubborn line, Kakashi could tell that was all he was going to get out of the boy for now.



So he nodded and sat back, then reached into his bag for his canteen to bring to his lips for a sip, noticing how his fingers trembled. He could feel his weakness, how urgent the necessity was in getting himself warm. And while Sasuke attempted to watch him surreptitiously (and failing quite miserably), Kakashi dragged out the scroll he'd sealed his travel pack within and unrolled it on the cavern floor with hands that quaked so violently, he wondered if he'd be able to unseal something as simple as a bag. But with a flash of chakra, the oversized bag appeared in a cloud of smoke, along with his bedroll strapped to it.



A bedroll that Kakashi knew would smell like the boy sitting a few feet away from him.



But that hardly mattered at the moment, with consciousness threatening to drift away in the aftermath of a storm that had bashed in his walls and laid bare faultlines that trembled with the arctic chill of the air. It made his movements clumsy, as he struggled to unroll a bedroll that just didn't want any unrolling. But soon, another pair of fingers joined his on the soft roll, and then Sasuke tugged it out of his grasp.



"I'll do it," he muttered.



Shivering with cold and pain and too much blood loss, Kakashi struggled to slide his body between the thick, fleecy covers of the bedroll. He shifted onto his back, then to his unwounded side, arms and legs moving slowly as he attempted to find the most comfortable position of repose, before realizing that in his condition, no such thing existed. And then Sasuke's scent surrounded him, overwhelming in its musky sweetness as he drew the top cover up to his chin. Had he been any less injured or less exhausted, Kakashi knew he wouldn't have been able to withstand the intensity of that ribald aroma; how it subtly found its way into him with each breath drawn, making him painfully aware of just how aroused the boy must have been the night before.



Well, fuck.



Wasn't that just wonderful.



Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes.



He really did have the worst luck.



~



It was the cold that woke him. Even wrapped in layers of warmth, it managed to penetrate through the fabric and sink its chilly fingers in, waking the jounin, shivering, to a cave that had grown dark. Night had fallen on Snow Country, and the only source of light that illuminated the cave came from a white glow stick Sasuke must have found in his travel pack.



The boy sat nearby him with his arms folded over a knee drawn to his chest, his face hidden from view. When he sensed Kakashi shifting, he looked over to him. He'd spent the past few hours sorting through the mess of tangled thoughts and emotions that had gathered into a hapless knot within him. But the more Sasuke attempted to undo the knot, the more it seemed to tighten and grow in complexity. It left him angry and frustrated and confused all at once, with nothing but Kakashi's sleeping face to reassure him and give him some sense of peace.



He tried not to dwell too much on why.



"We should light a fire," he said quietly to disengage himself from thought, when he noticed Kakashi shivering. The jounin made a soft hum of agreement in response.



Fire crackled soon after; it was meager, rising only a few feet in height and diameter, but would serve their purpose well. Sasuke looked across the flicker of orange and yellow at the older man, who'd expended the last of his chakra by unsealing and resealing the barrier for the cave, then lighting the fire with a katon jutsu before crawling back into the bedroll.



He wondered why Kakashi did so much for him when he didn't have to. It didn't make sense, how the man could look him in the eye, smile, and call him a teammate, someone he considered a friend. Sasuke had broken apart and left behind everything Kakashi had ever tried to teach him, crushed between stubborn hands. Those ideals of friendship and bonds, camaraderie and loyalty, had no place in a world as dark and empty and lonely as the one he had come to know.



But then Kakashi came out of nowhere with his strong arms and a smile so gentle that even thinking about it made Sasuke feel warm.



It was probably the fire, he thought with a frown, and shifted back and away, so he wouldn't have to be subjected to Kakashi's sleeping face. His hand came in contact with something soft; on closer inspection he discovered it was Kakashi's vest. He stared at it for a moment -- he didn't have anything to sleep on. Decided, he stretched out on the ground, balled the vest up, and tucked it under his head.



His eyes flickered back up to Kakashi’s face, watching how the fire cast gentle shadows across it, washing warmth over pale features, softening that faint crease between his brows and easing the harshness of that scar.



The sound of even breathing and the occasional crackling of flames created an irregular rhythm -- calming, soothing, steady, as his vision blurred, a pool of silver brushed in gold, before it dimmed to darkness.



~



Crashing lips and humid breath; the sharp bite of teeth and the strong taste of sweat; the headier undercurrents of insatiable need that formed itself in roaming hands hungry to possess.



Sasuke found himself lost in it, drunk on it, delirious with pleasure and need and too much sensation welling up within him as large, calloused hands gripped him by the hips, rough enough to bruise, then flowed around to his ass. He just couldn't seem to get enough of the heat of that mouth, insistent against his own, hands impatient and unsteady as they mapped strong muscles moving under his touch.



He tried to form a name but found the syllables lost in a moan as his fingers wrapped around the thick, hard circumference of what they had been blindly searching for by touch alone. The warm masculine musk that surrounded him was dizzying. And if it weren't for those strong arms wrapped around his waist, fingers gripping his asscheeks, spreading him and lifting him, Sasuke might've lost his equilibrium, intoxicated as he was with desire so intense, it felt almost maddening. The hard, rocky surface under his shoulderblades scratched at his back, then a slick stab of fingers were curling, curling, curling right into him, and Sasuke almost thought he'd come undone.



"Do it, fucking do it," he demanded, and received an infuriatingly knowing chuckle in response.



"You're always so impatient, Sasuke-kun." Hot breath steamed across his ear.



"Don't call me Sasuke-ku-- ha..aahh.."



Sasuke thought he'd come right there and then when the slick heat of Kakashi's thick cock plunged into him so deep, so hard, he thought he'd be split apart by the intensity of it. It was only here, with pleasure searing through him and his world reduced to sensory perceptions, that he felt a little less broken and a little more whole.



And then Kakashi had him by the hips and was driving in harder and faster, and all Sasuke could do was fist a hand in silver hair and brace an arm across broad shoulders as he arched and cried out and demanded for more, more, more--



His eyes snapped open.



...fuck.



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tbc....