Kyuubi

‘Oh god no.. no, no, no.. what have I done?’



The setting sun covered the dark room with a red film, only the bed he was sitting in set in a darker shadow of crimson, but Sasuke could still see it. Could still smell it. Feel it seep into his pants, his shirt.. his skin. Itachi’s head felt heavy on his lap. Those dead eyes staring empty at him....



The once pristine sheets of the bed were crumpled, lying in a heap at Itachi’s feet where he had kicked them down in his death struggle. His strong muscles cramping while he had clawed at Sasuke’s arm - at the sword driven through his chest.. Black eyes wild, terrified.



‘H-how did this happen? Oh god.. oh god..’ Sasuke heaved. Swallowing heavily several times in an attempt to force the acid back down. He had no idea what had came over him. It had felt like he was falling.

Reality a twisted notion only sitting in the distance watching him as he stalked into the darkening room where his brother sat reading in bed. His reading glasses perched low on his perfectly straight nose, his black hair cascading down his shoulders, barely touching a perfectly defined chest.



He had growled at his brother. An anger so strong it felt overwhelming flushing over him, leaving him numb. And he couldn’t stop the thoughts from forming. His stupid fucking perfect brother, the voice of his father praising Itachi running like a bad rerun in his head. Constantly repeating the all to familiar words.. “As expected by my son- as expected by- as expected-my son-Itachi my son-my son.”



Those words, they were all he had ever wanted from his father.



"Oh god.. oh god.. Itachi? Itachi? C-can you hear me? I’m-I’m-oh god.. I’m sorry. Itachi.." Sasuke was sobbing. Helplessly sobbing. Ripping the sword out before cradling Itachi’s head in his lap, wiping away silken hair from that serene face.



‘Oh god no.. no, no, no.. What have I done?’



And then it started all over again.



The setting sun covered the dark room with a red film, only the bed he was sitting in set in a darker shadow of crimson, but Sasuke could still see it. Could still smell it. Feel it seep into his pants ,his shirt.. his skin. Itachi’s head felt heavy on his lap. Those dead eyes staring at him..





Somewhere deep down, he knew this wasn’t real. Even as he could smell and see it so vividly it hurt. He knew; it couldn’t be real. There was something off with the feeling that lingered in his body, it almost felt like a thousand needles were tingling in his muscles.



He tried to reach out with his mind, still seeing himself killing his brother. Over and over, like he was stuck in a wheel of horror, and even when he finally was able to separate his mind from the dream body -forcing the killing back to a distance, making it seem less real and more like a too vivid memory. - the details of how he killed his brother intensified more and more for each time he saw himself ground that sword through his brother’s chest.



Something changed; something further away, outside. There was a gentle touch to his mind, a soft murmur in the distance. And he could suddenly feel his real body. The first touch with reality seeping through his teeth, letting him feel where they were pressed together from him clenching his jaw.



His body was numb to the very core. Leaving him unable to move or talk, or even scream. Only a small piping sound escaping his throat when he forced the air from his lungs faster than a regular breath.



He felt that his eyes were open, even though he couldn’t see the reality, only the horror-like hallucinations. He closed his eyes. Focussing on breathing steadily. Forcing his senses to feel, not see or hear. But feel.



First breath and the cold wood under his fingers tingled against his fingertips when he tried - but failed to move them. The surkling sound of blood seeping into Itachis lungs still so loud in the distance.



Second breath. The chair he was sitting on and the way it felt too hard to sit on. Itachi was coughing up more blood, but not so close this time. Not so real.



There was a whisper in the distance.. someone telling him to breathe, something firm gripping his hand, grounding him.



Sasuke couldn’t feel the warm liquid seeping through his pants where Itachi’s head rested anymore.



Yes, the visions were fading into the background now. He took another deep breath through his nose, filling his stomach before letting the tension ease from his mouth. Flexing his fingers, feeling the furrows of the desk under his hands. Noting that a notepad was lying under his left forearm.



Another breath. The metallic flavour of blood that had lingered in the air gone now, replaced with different perfumes, pencils and books.



Opening his eyes he saw Iruka sensei at the front, talking, pointing at the example scribbled on the blackboard with a hasty hand. Sakura had turned around in her seat and was looking at him, a frown set in her delicate face. Obviously worried.



He closed his eyes again, the horrors only glimmers of shadows in the distance.



He jerked when a cold hand settled on top of his own, an unfamiliar voice seeping through the forced silence and he realized that the voice had been murmuring in the distance all along, helping him surface. “Breathe Sasuke..deep breaths and it will pass. Focus on my hand, focus on me.. follow it.”



He took another deep breath.



He needed to get to Kiba. He knew that, but still. He had warned him, he had tried to tell him that it wasn’t safe to go with Naruto. But he had left regardless, hadn’t he?



Sasuke had a wrenching feeling in his gut that he had.



‘Why wouldn’t he? Stupid fucking mutt..’



Sasuke grasped onto that little string of anger that crept from his chest and used it to pull himself free. The world suddenly clear to him now. His body didn’t feel numb anymore. His head didn’t feel like it was stuck in a space helmet, only a slight queasiness lingered from the grotesque scenes that the demon had showed him.



Glimpses of his worst nightmares come true. His brother killed by his own hands.. Sasuke shuddered. The tensing of his muscles so severe that it rattled his chair. He reached into his pocket and took out his phone, flipping it open while he struggled to keep his tears in check. Breathing heavily while he tried to get up on his shaky legs.



He had to get out of there..



He knew the class was watching, he could feel their eyes on him. But he couldn’t have cared less. He needed to talk to Itachi, needed to hear his voice.. just to make sure, ‘Oh gods’.. he swallowed. Just to make sure the too vivid horror wasn’t real.



The dim light in the hallways felt welcoming, the chilled air rinsing his lungs. He was stumbling towards the exit while his heart was thudding in his throat, choking him.



“Sasuke? This better be important..” His brother’s voice was just as cold and monotone as always, but there was an underlying of worry beneath those harsh words. And Sasuke felt his chest lighten, a small laugh slipping from his lips. “Thank god..” He whispered it into the phone, while he pressed it closer to his ear, just listening to Itachi breathe.



“Sasuke? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Itachi was worried now, his voice loud and demanding.



“No, no..I’m sorry Itachi, it was nothing.”



He could hear Itachi’s voice in the phone before he flipped it shut, putting it back into his pocket, a relief so strong it forced a small smile to his lips rushing through him.



Then he remembered Kiba.. “Fuck!”





“Uchiha..” The voice was monotone, and Sasuke would have recognized it anywhere. There was only one boy who could sound like that. Like one big hollow was occupying the inside of him. And Sasuke found himself surprised when he realized that that was the same voice that had guided him out from his nightmare like hallucinations only minutes ago.



His legs still felt like rotting jelly.



“Gaara?”



Gaara, the school freak was jogging after him, the two chains hanging from the belt loops of his tight fitting jeans jingling as he ran. He was carrying both his own and Sasukes backpacks.



“I told Iruka-sensei I’d make sure you were alright..” Gaara paused, eying Sasuke with those empty teal eyes of his.



“I’m fine..” Sasuke lied.



“No.. I heard what you said about Naruto earlier..” The redhead had caught up with him now. Walking in a brisk pace beside him, hefting his own backpack on his shoulder while handing Sasuke s backpack over to him. “And I believe you..”



“You do?” Sasuke stopped just short of the swing door that led out into the school parking lot, grabbing the offered backpack.



“Yes, I do.. and we need to get to Kiba and Naruto as soon as possible. We can take my car, do you know where they’re at?”



“Yeah.. they’re at Kiba’s.”





*********''



It turned out that Gaara drove a huge deep crimson coloured SUV Nissan pathfinder.. and it made the already small redhead look ridiculously tiny when he climbed in on the driver side, reminding Sasuke more of a twelve year old that stole his daddy’s car, than a seventeen year old out to fight the demons of hell..



Or well..

One demon at least.



Sasuke kept the remark to himself when he climbed in on the passenger side. Shutting the door with a loud slam, just in time before the car screeched as Gaara wrung it out from the parking lot. Spinning up gravel as he turned the huge car out to the main road. Gaara floored the pedal, shifting fast from second, to third-fourth and fifth gear. Weaving his way through the traffic.



“Whoa.. slow down Gaara!! You’re gonna get us killed before we even reach Kiba’s.”



Gaara shifted in his seat, his left hand coming up to rub against the red love tattoo on his forehead in a nervous gesture. Teal eyes glancing sideways, meeting Sasuke’s.



Sasuke sighed and leaned back, buckling in before giving quick directions to Kiba’s house. It was a ten minute ride, five, with the way Gaara was driving. Unless they were pulled over by the cops for reckless driving that was.



Sasuke gripped the handle on the door when the redhead decided to maneuver the huge car passed a row of four cars, just barely making the small gap back to the right hand side of the road, before a little golf swoshed past them.



“Fucking shit Gaara! Slow the fuck down.. !” Sasuke glared at Gaara, punching him hard on the shoulder. “Why do you want to help anyways?”



Gaara scowled at Sasuke but he eased down on the gas, not saying anything, his hand going up to his love tattoo again, rubbing furiously.



“It’s personal..”



Sasuke nodded. But he remembered a couple of summers ago. All the gossip swirling around school. Normally, Sasuke didn’t pay any attention to the rumours. But there were just so many.. or, not many. But everybody was talking about it. Talking about Gaara, the silent redhead. Apparently..he had been admitted to the mental ward after he had tried to kill his own siblings.



According to the rumours. He had tried to bury them alive in the backyard, using duck tape to bind and gag them with after filling their mouths with sand. All along screaming “Shut up!shut up!shut up!.”



A neighbour had seen him and called the cops.



Of course, he had heard several different versions of the story, and it had accumulated into something far worse after a couple of days, saying that he had killed his siblings - raping his sister and sawing of his brother’s head. One even said he had ate their genitals .But Sasuke deemed the first version he had heard to be closer to the truth then the others.



Besides, he knew the redheads brother and sister were alive, he had seen them drop of Gaara at school from time to time.. now that he thought about it. Gaaras brother always drove this car.. so it was probably his, and not Gaaras.



It took a couple of seconds before the lightbulb appeared over the raven’s head. “You were possessed weren’t you? that summer.. just like Naruto is now?”





Gaara shifted nervously before he nodded. “Yeah.. I was. Only.. the demon possessing me, wasn’t as strong as the one possessing Naruto. This one felt different somehow. Like it could lick at my mind from a distance. While Shukaku could only control *me*, from inside my head. I think the one in Naruto can control others too to some extent. Just like it did to you in class.”



“How did you get rid of it? I mean.. you seem..” ‘Fine’ wasn’t a word that fitted the redhead really. But at least he didn’t seem possessed.



Gaara seemed to get the point and took a deep breath. “You really want to know?” A pink tongue came out to moisten suddenly dry lips.



“Yeah.. I-I need to know. If you were able to get rid of it, then... then there is hope for Naruto too. Right?”



Gaara nodded but remained silent for a long time, and he didn’t start speaking before the sound of gravel sounded from the tires, signifying that they were on the dirt road leading up to Kiba’s house. It was a one way road, littered with potholes that made the huge car rock gently as it easily made its way towards the dog pens visible in the distance. The silence seemed too heavy, the little stones hitting the underside of the car sounding too loud in Sasuke’s ears. But he could see an answer forming in the redhead’s eyes. And when he first spoke he was staring intently at the road.



“I died..”



Sasuke felt his heart stop, his eyes widening. “You what?”



Teal eyes met black with a sincerity that made Sasuke snap his mouth shut, only nodding weakly before glancing towards the house. Waiting for Gaara to elaborate..



“I shot myself.. but the demon made my hand flinch last second in an attempt to save us, save himself. So.. I only shot out a part of my frontal lobe.. but it was enough. The doctors told me I was clinically dead for 3 minutes, and I guess it was enough to kill it. I have some issues with impulse control, and I have difficulties with feeling empathy.” He let out a little snort. “I guess someone would call me a psychopath.. seeing as I can hurt on a mere whim, and not feel pity for my victim. But it’s better than hearing that fucking voice all the time, that constant taunting. And the blackouts.. It’s not cool waking up in a pool of blood, and not remember how you got there, or who’s blood it is.”



Sasuke felt a strange chill race up his spine and he felt himself unconsciously leaning away from the redhead.



Gaara seemed to notice as he smirked and shook his head bemusedly. “Don’t worry. I have some control. Besides.. I really want to get this fucker.”



“H-How.. how do you plan on helping Naruto? I won’t allow you to kill him.”



“I haven’t thought about it really.. but I honestly don’t know of any other way.”



“NO! I won’t let you..”



But Sasuke never got any answer, no reassurance for Naruto’s safety. Gaara was getting out of the car, slamming the car door hard behind him, and Sasuke’s breath got stuck in his lungs when he saw a silver semi automatic handgun in the redhead’s belt.



“NO! Gaara stop! Don’t!” Sasuke rushed out of the car not even bothering to slam the door behind him, and was about to grab Gaara’s shoulder when he heard a heart wrenching cry break through the wild barks and howling of the dogs frantically trying to break free from their pens. The voice sounded broken and helpless, coloured raw by fear.



“NARUTO!! PLEASE!! Please.. oh god.. pleeeeaaaaase!” There was another scream.



Sasuke stopped thinking, he just ran towards those cries. Towards Kiba’s window on the first floor, because he knew that that was where the screams were coming from. The smell of fire and burnt flesh hit him hard when he rounded the corner of the house, making his mouth fill with bile. He could see smoke well out from Kiba’s room.



“Kiba?!” Sasuke’s head felt suddenly so clear. And he ran past Gaara easily jumping up and catching the ledge, lifting himself easily up and into the room. Just like he had done so many times before when he and Naruto were sneaking in to Kiba’s room when the dog boy had managed to get himself grounded.



Kiba was screaming in pain. Writhing on the bed, tugging his hands desperately while thick tears ran down his face. His whole body shaking, his bronze skin a sickening dark red in colour. The mattress had been shoved under the bed and used as food for hungry flames that were licking at Kiba’s skin, heating the steel frames he was lying on, The smell of burning, melting flesh was overwhelming and Sasuke had to cover his mouth and nose with his sweater while he heaved, swallowing fast to keep his lunch down.



No one noticed the giggling figure standing barely hidden behind the door.



Gaara ran for a fire extinguisher, hose..he didn’t care, just something to kill the wild flames with. While Sasuke rushed over to Kiba grabbing the handcuff closest to him, thankful that it wasn’t the real kind that required a key, he yelled out in surprise when his hand hit the metal of the bed. It was so hot, so fucking hot. “Oh god..oh god. Hang on Kiba..I’ll get you out.”



He took a deep breath and yelled in anger, gripping the handcuffs little security release, flipping it open and helping the crying boy’s hand free. Sasuke had to try and think about anything but the feeling of Kiba’s skin giving away where he touched it. He just rushed around the bed, doing the same to the other hand. Yelling as his fingers gripped the scolding metal, the pain stunning his nerves as he forced himself to ignore his basic instinct to let go, he opened the cuff and helped Kiba’s hand free.



Gaara was there now, gripping a fire hose from the hallway in his arms. He aimed the heavy beam of water to the bed, drenching Kiba’s boiling body while Sasuke tried to lift him free, water cascading down his back, making his hair stick to his eyes and chin. But he barely even noticed, because: oh god, the way Kiba felt in his arms. That once healthy skin so, so badly burned an angry red while huge patches slid off where he touched it. Sasuke could feel how it slipped free. He had to restrain himself not to gag.



And finally they were on the floor. Kiba lying fainted next to him, the wild flames under the bed dying as the cold water assaulted them.



And all along, no one noticed the demon creeping out from behind the door. They heard him though. When all of a sudden clapping could be heard. Gaara’s head whipped around to stare at the silent form only standing inches away from him. He yelped and took a step away, grabbing his gun, aiming it for the blond in one smooth practised move. He was about to pull the trigger when someone suddenly yelled “NO”.



He glanced back at Sasuke, the raven sitting with his phone open, obviously calling 911. Kiba was drawing forced breaths next to him, lying on his stomach. The water from the hose running like a wild river, down and around his scolded body, from the spot on the floor where Gaara had dropped it.



There was a stench hanging in the room. A nice blend of burnt flesh and wet dog mixed with smoke and ashes.



Gaara snapped his attention back to the demon. He really hadn’t planned on what to do if he couldn’t kill him. “One wrong move from your side and your brain paints the walls..”



Kyuubi tossed his head back, baring fangs as he laughed a thrilling laugh making little trails of flesh rise on Gaara’s neck, shivering down his spine. “No you won’t.. you see. This-” He pointed a finger to his head. “-is not really *my* brain..so if you were dumb enough to pull the trigger I’d just find myself another vessel. I’d be pissed for sure, since I very much like this one.” He glanced over to Sasuke, smiling gently before he looked back at Gaara. “But you wouldn’t kill me. Do you really think you killed Shukaku when you blew a hole in your head?” He laughed again, shaking of mirth.



And then he stopped. Nothing.. just stopped. Just standing there, silently. Like a great big void in the room. A void so big you could feel it grating on your nerves, almost like every part of your body besides your brain wanted to fall into it, to get sucked into that great nothingness, and Gaara could feel fear choke him. Climb up his throat. That familiar fear of falling settling in his stomach.



“NO!” He ripped himself free with a burst of will. He had been through this before, a hundred times when he had his own demon inside. Only that pull had been so much stronger, so much more intimate. He used that knowledge.



“Fuck you! I won’t fall into your mindscrew.” He was proud to see that his gun was still pointed at the demon, a bit shaky.. but still.



The demon didn’t answer, didn’t even acknowledge him. He just kept staring empty ahead of him. But when Gaara followed his line of sight. He could see that the demon was staring at Sasuke. And Sasuke looked so lost.



The raven got up on shaky feet, dropping his phone, open on the floor. The lady on the other side asking “Sir? Are you alright? Sir? There is an ambulance on it’s way.. Sir?” But Sasuke didn’t hear her. He was lost in his own world, and judging by the look in his eyes. It wasn’t a bad place either. He looked calm and relaxed for the first time since Gaara had seen him on Friday before the weekend. But it was all an illusion.



Like the fucking children following Hans the flute player over the edge of the cliff..



“Sasuke?” Gaara tried to move closer to him, tried to nudge him, to stop him. But the raven just walked past, not even noticing him.



Gaara cursed before he steadied the gun towards the demon, supporting it with both hands now, getting ready to fire. “Fuck! Stop this now. Or I’ll fucking shoot!” But the demon ignored him, he just reached out his arm for Sasuke to take.



The shot made Gaara jerk in surprise. Making the demon startle, blue eyes going wide before a second shot was made seconds after the first.