Rough Beginnings

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto or gain any income from writing this fic. I just borrow them for my amusement and that of everyone else.

Yes sorry it took so long for me to update this! It’s unusual for me to take this long but school and work took over. I’m not exactly thrilled how this chapter came out but it’s needed. The way most of these stories work is that they lead up to one big one that I am doing. This is explaining situations that will be brought up later in that fic. So of course the story line is completely destroyed as well as the fact I’m taking full artistic license with ages and background stories. Got to love being a writer. ^_^

Extra warning: This chapter talks about rape and drug abuse. You have been warned.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Itachi wandered through the halls his logical mind in full motion as he headed towards the room that he shared with his partner. He really wished that Pein would have given him more information than what he had. He was no good at talking with anyone much less asking for clarification over something so personal. He had a feeling when he joined the Akatsuki that everyone here had a bad past but how bad were they? From the look on Pein's face it would seem that the mere thought of it made him ill. So how did someone go about asking someone about such a thing? Even if he were more talkative it took more than just going up to someone and asking them to reveal their painful past.

He looked up from the ground when he turned the last corned to head to his room. A small amount of surprise entered him when he spotted Deidara leaning against the wall opposite the door to his room. The blonde turned his one visible blue eye towards him and offered a small smile. Itachi though that if anyone would help him at the moment it would be the bomber. He was quite the talker when the time called for it. He did not know the man well but he seemed to be the one that would be willing to help clear some of his confusion. "I see Leader-sama gave you a nice little talk, un."

"Hn," was Itachi's only response as he moved next to the blonde and looked to the door. Was it that obvious that something was bothering him? Perhaps he was losing his touch.

"Don't give me that, un." Deidara stated waving a hand in dismissal. "I know what Leader-sama talked to you about; we've all had that talk, un. It shocked even the strongest of us I think, un." The blonde turned his full attention to the Uchiha who continued to stare at him with a blank look. Kisame had explained the young boy's personality to him so he was not surprised to find that Itachi refused to talk. "It's alright to be confused, un. I now we seem mostly normal but I think it's the security of the Akatsuki that does that for us, un."

Itachi found himself once again raising a brow at bomber as he chuckled. He would hardly call this group normal but then again he had not known them very long. They were S-Class criminals for a reason but he was not sure what their pasts had to do with it. He hated to speak with this man but it seemed he had no choice. He was the only one around and he wanted some answers. "What do you mean?"

"Well as I'm sure Leader-sama told you none of us had a normal life, un." Shifting slightly Deidara took a seat and patted the ground next to him. Once the Uchiha had taken a seat he looked more fully towards him. Once the Uchiha had taken a seat he looked more fully towards him. "I guess to help you out a bit I can tell you my past, un. I don't really mind, un." He let out a sigh as he scratched the back of his head slightly. Where should he really start? "Well I guess that the best place to begin is from the start right, un? I was born with these extra mouths, the ones in my hands and the one on my chest, un. Nothing like this had happened before in my family, so it was not a family trait, un."

Sadly Itachi could see where this was heading. It was terrible that being different was such a horrible thing. Things that were different were feared because they were not understood. People did stupid thing to hide any fear that they might have; to try and hide what they thought was a weakness. If there was one thing that his family had taught him was that anything different should be embraced. Use it as a strength and not a weakness. Those that followed this rule would in the end be stronger for it.

"Since I was little I was treated like a monster, un. I was constantly beat up by my family and peers, un. My father and brother hated me, un. My mother was so disgusted with me that she ended up committing suicide, un. Of course I was the one blamed for this, un. I was too young to understand what was going on, un. All I knew was that I hurt a lot and that I somehow deserved it, un." Deidara leaned back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't always have this tick you know, un. I got it after a really bad beating to the head, un. They thought I would never wake up from the coma I was in, un. Guess I was a disappointment then too, un. On another occasion I lost most of the sight in my left eye, un. I had the eyepiece made so that I would be able to see and function as a shinobi, un. That mechanic its self can magnify my vision in that eye to see far away, un. I also trained it to dispel Genjutsu, un. But without it I can barely see out of that eye, un."

"Anyway, to say the least I always had to look over my shoulder, un. When I got older they started adding to the humiliation, un. I'm sure that even Hidan would shudder at some of the names they called me, un. After a while that was not enough so they took to rape, un." Deidara finally turned his eyes back to Itachi who wore a slightly shocked expression. Not even the great mask of the Uchiha could hide emotions in the face of such terrible actions. "After a while I couldn't take it any more, un. I nearly blew up a quarter of the village to get away, un. What I was found by the Akatsuki I was a completely wreak, on the point of breaking never to be fixed, un. Most here understand the pain and humiliation that I went through, un. They know exactly the pain that I went through, un."

Itachi could hardly believe what he was hearing. He closed his eyes tightly trying to hide that this was bothering him so much. No one deserved to go through such a thing. And to think that the blonde sitting before him had once been a perfectly normal boy. He had not had that tick to grunt at the end of his phrases and he used to be able to see out of his left eyes. Right now his life seemed like heaver, especially since Deidara said that others within the Akatsuki had been through similar. He could not understand the thinking that went on behind such acts; it was beyond cruel. "Why would someone do that?" He asked quietly needing someone to fill in the blanks; he just could not understand.

"It gives a false sense of control." Came a voice from Itachi's side. The Uchiha opened his eyes to look up into the solemn face of Orochimaru. "It's a sick and twisted way to think one is in control of another being. Especially when one is a 'freak' like most of us here are considered. I know it's a hard concept to grasp but it's the truth. Thankfully you never had to go through something like that." That snake looked away slightly in thought. He had not been here when this whole situation started. He had been in town running errands when this whole situation started. He was not sure what exactly lead to this conversation but he could vaguely guess from the little information he had gathered.

"Very true, but what are you really here for Orochi, un?" Deidara asked, his curiosity perking up slightly. It was just as if they had not been discussing such a depressing topic. "Didn't you just get back to base?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid I'm off again. Leader-sama has a mission for me and Sasori. Our specialties are required." The snake replied glad that Deidara was going to be alright. He remembered when the boy was fright brought into the Akatsuki. So much as a wrong move and he went ballistic. Sasori had done wonders for the blonde. He was not exactly sure what the puppet had done but they were all grateful. The bomber was a great addition to their little group. Besides, it was hard to sleep when you were not sure if the whole place was going to be blown apart at any given moment. "Sorry to just interrupt your conversation like that. Just thought that I'd add my two cents."

"It's ok, un." Deidara waved off keeping a wary eye on Itachi. He was worried about the boy. He had not moved since turning back to stare at the ground after Orochimaru had spoken. "I'm sure they're close to done, you can probably go in, un. I'll keep an eye on things here, un." He watched the snake nod before disappearing into the room before them. He then pushed himself to stand and brushed himself off.

"Looks like you need a distraction, un." He held his hand down to help the Uchiha up. The boy hesitated slightly before taking the offered hand trying to ignore the strange feeling of the extra mouth in the man's palm. "Now, I might be wrong but if I remember correctly Kisa-kun said you like sweets, un. So let's go make some cookies!" Deidara added with a grin. He had always liked to make cookies; it was a hobby that made him feel better so it might help the young boy too. He had to giggle though when he spotted the confused expression.

"But...I don't know how..." Itachi stated blankly. How would he? He was raised to be the perfect Shinobi. All he knew how to cook were the small meals that ones that were made on missions; they were nothing to desire. They gave his body what it needed and that was about it. He was never taught anything about actual cooking; that had always been done for him.

"Well, we'll just have to teach you then, un! I didn't learn how to cook till I joined either, un. You should ask Kisa-kun to cook sometime, he is very good, un. Haven't had anyone but Sasori cook for a while, un." Deidara giggled taking Itachi's hand in his own and leading him down the hall. "But it is never too late to learn; besides I think Kisa-kun would like some cookies when he wakes up, un. Don't let his appearances fool you; he actually has quite the sweet tooth, un."

Itachi just let the blonde drag him down the hall. It would not hurt to learn how to make cookies. Besides that bomber seemed so happy even after having to relate his past to him. It was the least he could do for making the man go through that. Besides, he was craving something sweet so perhaps this would help. It was not dango but anything would do at this point. Deidara might have been able to push his hurt aside but he was having a hard time with it. He really needed the distraction.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Itachi never would have believed that cooking could be so messy. Though he would have to guess that having the hyperactive Tobi through could do that. Now completely flour covered he watched as Zetsu pulled his equally dirty subordinate out of the room before Deidara could cause any damage. He would have to admit to himself that this had been highly amusing and well...fun. He could not remember the last time he had felt so human. It was such a strange thought, that this was the first time he actually felt like a normal human being.

"Damn that brat, un." Deidara growled with a pout as he turned to face the Uchiha. His anger was forgotten when he noticed just how funny Itachi looked. He started laughing and placed one hand to his mouth to try and stifle them. "Oh god, un. You should see yourself, un." He giggled hoping that the Uchiha would not hurt him for laughing. From what he knew the boy was not someone who liked to be made fun of.

"You're one to talk. You're hair's as white as Hidan's." Itachi retorted a chuckle bubbling up from his chest. He lifted a hand to his mouth in a sad attempt to hide his smile; he knew the bomber had spotted it by the way his own smile grew. Besides, once the laughing had started he could not seem to get it to stop. It was such a foreign thing for him. It felt strange and sounded rusty but he had not felt this good in a long time. He soon found himself doubled over laughing.

"I knew you had it in you, un!" Deidara exclaimed laughing. It was so good to see that the Uchiha still had it in him to laugh. They had all feared that he had been too broken to be normal. He was thrilled that they were all proven wrong. Obviously they had gotten him just in time. "Now let's see if we can save these cookies, un." He stated once the boy had managed to gain control of himself. The small smile remained leaving Deidara with a very warm feeling. He was happy that he could bring some happiness to the Uchiha.

Moving over to the bowl where their dough was e took a peek and let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully not too much extra flour got into the mixture. How Tobi managed that he was not really sure. The idiot did have a certain talent to cause trouble without ruining things too badly. "Looks like everything is good, un. Just give me the cookie sheets and we will be done, un."

Itachi just nodded and collected the cookie sheets that they had collected earlier; dusting them off as he found them. He handed them over to the blonde and watched as he placed spoonfuls of dough onto the sheets before shoving them into the preheated oven. It really as a fascinating thing to watch. He was not exactly sure why. Perhaps it was because he had never seen anyone cook before. It was such a normal day-to-day thing that he had never witnessed before. He was startled from his thoughts when a spoon of dough came into his line of vision. "What's that for?"

"To eat silly, un." Deidara giggled taking his own spoon and popping it into his mouth. He looked at the Uchiha expectantly until he followed suit. With a happy noise he took a seat on a flour covered stool at the island in the kitchen. He kicked his feet back and forth waiting for the Uchiha to join him. "See that isn't so bad now is it, un?"

"It just seems like such a strange thing to do." Itachi stated softly having finished the cookie dough and placed the spoon in the sink. He watched the blonde throw his own into the sink with perfect accuracy. Though now that the excitement had calmed down he felt the need to ask one last thing. He hated to burst the bomber's happy mood but he really needed to know. The blonde obviously sensed something was up since he had stopped kicking his feet and had rested his arms on the countertop. Moving next to the blonde he took a sear and looked at him. "How can you just ignore everything that happened to you? How can you just keep moving on?"

"I was wondering when you were going to sake that question, un." Deidara stated a small smile still playing on his face. He shifted in his seat to give his full attention to the Uchiha. This was something that might help the boy in the end. "Just because I'm happy doesn't mean that I don't hurt, un. It doesn't mean that I still don't suffer from what all those people did to me, un. You have to understand that no one can forget such terrible things, un. They can't try to hide from what happened or it eats them up from the inside out, un."

"You all just seem so strong about all of this. If what you and Leader-sama has said is true than you all are stronger than anyone I've ever met." Itachi stated softly. How could someone just sit and suffer such things in silence? It did not make any sense to him and there in lied his problem. He felt so weak knowing that they have all handled their own pasts better than he did hearing about it.

"Well thank you for the compliment Itachi-san, un. However I can't really say that I'm as strong as all that, un." He stated dryly reaching to the sleeve of his cloak and pushing it up his arm. Itachi watched silently wondering what the other could be proving. His eyes widened when he noticed the numerous scars that covered the inner part of the blonde's arm. "This is how I learned to deal with everything, un. I'm afraid it is a habit that I'm still trying to break." Looking closer the Uchiha was able to tell that some of the track marks were new. The older boy before him was a drug user; he never would have been able to tell.

"Though being in the Akatsuki has helped, un. I'm not even sure how Sasori-donna has put up with me during some of my episodes, un. But I guess he understands that I can't always be strong, I have to be weak sometimes; just like everyone else, un. But I think that the strength that we have comes from being around so many others that have suffered the same or worse, un. To know that we aren't alone, un. Also the fact that we have all accepted what has happened to us. It is something that can't be used against you if you have accepted it, un. Those that hide from it sabotage themselves, un. Their own minds turn against them, un. I learned that only after being taken into the Akatsuki, un." Deidara explained gaining a thoughtful look. "Still...despite that it will always come back to the fact that we have each other, un. We have our partners, the other Akatsuki members and we have Leader-sama, un. We all break down eventually, un. I don't know much about Kisa-kun's past but I know that even he becomes overwhelmed, un. We all come together at those times and help the one in need, un. If it weren't for Leader-sama and the Akatsuki I probably wouldn't even be alive right now, un."

Itachi was finding that the more he learned the more confused he became. This was definitely something that he was not used to. Normally the more information that was gathered the clearing things became. His logical mind however was not able to process everything. The further the conversation went the more he wanted to distance himself. These were S-Class criminals, they were not supposed to have feelings or care for others. They were supposed to be monstrous men with a thirst for blood. Everything he had ever been taught was being called into question and his mind was trying to find a way to defend what he had been ingrained into him. Though as this small battle continued he could not help but once again feel like his life had been paradise. He knew nothing of hardship and having to fend for himself yet these men had supposedly been doing this their whole lives.

"I know what you've done and I bet you are probably thinking that you had it easy right, un?" Deidara asking. He only received a blank stare in response. He let out a sigh and took it as a yes; it seemed the boy was going to clam up again. "What you did took a lot of guts, un. I don't need to know why but I can see that it's something that weighs heavily on you, un. It's in the way you act and how you carry yourself, un. I know that I haven't known you very long but most of us can tell, un. As far as we are concerned you've suffered just as much as the rest of us, un. You are not less important, un. Though it seems that this isn't the only thing on your mind, un."

The Uchiha hated that Deidara was reading into him so easily. He looked away not sure how to ask the question that had just popped into his mind. He did not want to seem childish or insecure but it was a worry. He knew it was probably pointless to try and cover it up now that the blonde had noticed. He had not completely opened up to the bomber but it had been enough to show that he was disturbed. He shifted black eyes up into the bright blue ones of the older boy sitting next to him. "How will Kisame react when he wakes?"

"Kisa-kun, un?" Deidara asked blinking slightly. After everything they had just talked about he was worried about the shark's reaction? This boy's thinking really was a little on the strange side. He guessed that the older man must have really left an impression on the boy in one way or another to have him concerned at all. "You don't have to worry about Kisa-kun, un. He was only angry because he was concerned, un. I'm pretty sure that the whole Tsukiyomi thing won't even faze him, un. He's too strong a Shinobi to let something like that take him down for any length of time, un. The worst you will probably get is a scolding and a lecture, un. He might also give you the cold shoulder for a little bit too, un. But don't expect him to be wary of you or fear you; it's not in his personality, un."

Itachi just gave a nod showing that he understood. It seemed that the shark may hold a bit of a grudge but not hate him. At least he would not have to keep looking over his shoulder when his partner was around. It seemed that the blonde knew the shark well enough to tell him this. He had all ready been told numerous times that the older man was fond of him as a partner stating that it was a good thing since he had a tendency to get rid of ones that he disliked. It also annoyed him slightly that the thought of loosing the shark settled heavy on him. He was not supposed to become attached to anyone here. He was only here to keep a job and to make sure that stayed away from Konoha. "Thank you Deidara." He added as an after thought. He figured it was the least he could do for making the blonde speak so much on his past. However it was still too strange to use his pet name.

"Glad I could help, un." Deidara replied just before the timer for the cookies went off. He hopped up from his seat and rushed to retrieve them before they burned. Turning off that stove he placed the cookies down and giggled when he noticed Itachi hovering over his shoulder. He really was just a boy even if he liked to think he was not. "Well dig in and try not to burn your mouth, un. I don't want another incident like the one with Tobi the last time I made cookies, un."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you all enjoyed! I’m sure you can tell that I absolutely love to make their lives a living hell. But I do it out of love. As I always say, you can’t be a real writer unless you are willing to put your favorite characters through hell and back!