Forgiveness

I don’t own Naruto nor do I make money from it.



Warnings: cursing, violence



Forgiveness



Chapter Seven



There was a thick haze enveloping his head. He hadn’t felt this bad since the morning he’d woken up after his battle with Sasuke. The only difference being the bed beneath him was a considerably softer mattress than the few blankets Kisame had used as bedding.



His eyes cracked open and, for a moment, his heart stopped at the darkness coating the room. It had been a terrifying fear enveloping him since before he’d fought Sasuke--waking up blind. As his eyes adjusted, his heart’s pounding staccato eased. It was his greatest fear after Sasuke’s safety.



“So, you’re awake.”



Itachi’s eyes shot towards the corner and the woman he hadn’t noticed until she spoke. He should have sensed her the moment he was conscious. Even hazy from sickness, he should have noticed her.



A slender hand flicked the light switch beside her chair, revealing her identity. The former fifth hokage--Tsunade. His body tensed instinctively. After so many years as a missing nin, it was a hard thing not to do.



“Tsunade-sama.” His voice cracked as he spoke.



“You always were more polite than your brat of a brother.” Tsunade stood from her chair, settling beside him on the bed as if he was just another patient.



It was then Itachi noticed the lack of chakra restraints. His chakra felt a bit sluggish but not completely gone, as it had in the prison. The lack of hard stone floors was a change as well--a very welcome change.



Itachi tongue darted out to swipe at the cracked skin impairing his speech, grateful when Tsunade pressed a glass of water to his lips. Cool liquid splashed in his mouth and down his throat. It was probably the best thing he’d put in his mouth in years, or it felt that way. Finally able to speak, he asked, “Where am I?”



“In your brother’s house. You were nearly dead when I finally got here. You seem to like skirting that particular area, don’t you?” Tsunade set the glass on the bedside table with a thunk. “That cut in your side you declined to have treated split open and with your chakra being suppressed, infection set in.”



“Sasuke took me?” Itachi’s eyes widened at the implication.



“Actually, from what I understand, Naruto forced the ANBU guard to open your cell and took you from there himself. Those idiots in ANBU are hearing it from me later. Things like that didn’t happen while I was Hokage.” Tsunade scowled in the general direction of ANBU headquarters.



“Yes, it did. Danzou just kept it from reaching your ears,” Itachi commented. The statement earned him a particularly dark glare. Deny it though she might, it didn’t make the words any less true. Before his death, Danzou had kept many things from the third, fourth, and fifth Hokages.



Waving her hand, she settled back in her chair. “Never mind, I’m more interested in what possessed you to come back after so long.”



“A twist of fate.”



A thin blonde brow arched. “That seems to happen a lot around here in the last few years.”



Itachi silently agreed with her. The last few years had been a series of fate and luck for him. Even now he wasn’t sure where it would take him and if he would ever be allowed the chance to make amends for what he’d done--what he’d allowed to happen due to miscalculations on his part. At the time, all his plans had seemed appropriate. It was a funny thing--the human spirit. It ignored all plans and followed it’s own course, despite the most stringent direction.



“I healed you, but I would suggest you remain in bed for a couple of days. You’re still weak and your chakra is far too low to be moving about. That wound in your side was pretty bad. I would expect more from an elite shinobi.” Tsunade moved to leave the room, pausing at the door. “I’d give your thanks to Naruto. If he’d have waited much longer, we would be cremating your ass.”



With those words she closed the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He’d never given much thought to Naruto Uzumaki other than as his failsafe for Sasuke’s salvation. He’d known during his time with the Akatsuki that he needed to protect the boy from them while still maintaining his personal objectives, choosing only to see him as the carrier of the fox demon and not as a person. Until the day he’d spoken with Naruto face to face, he’d never truly understood what a remarkable person he was. Now he owed his life to the boy. No. Too much time had passed. He was no longer a boy, but a man.



The door creaked open, shooting light across the foot of the bed in the semi dark room and breaking him from his thoughts. Expecting to see the Hokage or perhaps ANBU guards, Itachi was surprised to witness a small miniature version of Sasuke creep into the room. It was almost enduring how little eyes darted back and forth, searching the shadows for hidden enemies before deeming it safe enough to enter with less caution.



The floor boards creaked beneath socked feet, a sign of his lack of training. Itachi could remember the days spent practicing moving through a room silently. If he’d truly known what the life of a shinobi entailed--the blood, assassinations, and thievery--would he have been so anxious to please his father and clan?



The dark eyes staring into his bespoke the innocence resting inside. “You look different wiff no mask. That man wiff the mask make Unca Ruto mad. I don like masks.”



“Everyone wears masks.”



Ryuu shook his head. “Daddy don. You don no more.”



The innocence of youth. How long would it be before this boy stood surrounded by dead enemies--their blood coating his hands? “Some times you can’t see the mask.”



“Indivisible?” Dark eyes widened, obviously tossing the thought around in his head.



“Invisible.” Itachi corrected, wincing in an attempt move to a sitting position. The former Hokage hadn’t lied when she’d said he would need to rest. His side ached, but at least the throbbing pain was gone.



“You look like Daddy cept the hair.” Ryuu pulled himself on the bed to sit at Itachi’s hip. “Unca Ruto says Daddy’s hair looks like a duck’s ass.”



Ryuu’s voice lowered at the comment. “Don tell Mama I said that.”



The incredulity of the conversation, mostly one sided on Ryuu’s part, amazed Itachi. He’d never given thought to it, but Sasuke’s hair did resemble the back end of a duck. The mental image brought him much amusement. Thankfully he’d outgrown the spiky hair tendency the men in his family dealt with.



“Are you really my unca? Like Unca Ruto? I like you. I don mind if you’re my unca.” Ryuu kept chattering on in the cheerful childlike manner Itachi had become accustomed to during their long trip to Konoha. “Daddy says your name’s Tachi. Can I call you, Unca Tachi?”



“Ryuu--” Sasuke stood in the doorway looking at his young son with an exasperated expression only a father could have. Itachi was fairly certain Miko possessed a similar expression.



“Busted.” Ryuu grumbled. “Wanna stay with Unca Tachi!”



“Ryuu…Itachi and I need to talk.”



“Okay. You can talk.” The less than subtle hint was completely lost on the child, his still chubby arms wrapped tightly around Itachi’s midriff.



“Alone.”



Itachi half expected the boy to dig his proverbial heels in. The pink lower lip poked out and a look of almost defiance crossed the child’s pale features before he heaved a deep sigh--obviously knowing he was fighting a loosing battle and not liking it one bit. Ryuu slid from the bed, padding across the floor in dejection.



“Bye-bye, Unca Tachi.” Ryuu shoved his hands in his pockets, a look of true Uchiha brooding took over his face as he walked past his father. If looks could kill, the one he shot Sasuke in passing would have dropped the man in an instant.



With the boy gone, Sasuke slide the door closed with a faint snap. Minutes seemed like hours, ticking by while similar obsidian eyes measured the other. It was almost embarrassing for Itachi, to present such a weakened form to his brother. Even before, with his eyes nearly gone, he’d never let Sasuke see just how weak he really was.



“Tsunade-sama said you’ll be fine.”



Itachi couldn’t stop the small chuckle from passing his lips. “Until my execution.”



“You won’t be executed. The Hokage knows my stance on the matter.” Sasuke’s eyes grew particularly angry.



“The Hokage answers to the people.” A small twitch of lips was the only sign of his amusement. He knew full well the strength of the Hokage. His and Sasuke’s lives were a direct result of it. Of course, he couldn’t blame the Sandiame for what was truly out of his hands. The Uchiha, in their arrogance, had forced the hand of the council. Perhaps had there been more time, another solution could have been reached. As it was, he was left with only what ifs. Even now, he could still smell the death of that night. It never left him.



“I don’t care. You aren’t dying.” Sasuke crossed his arms, his stance a very definition of defiance.



“Your tone has certainly changed since that day.”



“Fucking stop it right now.” Sasuke shot across the room, fisting his hand in the plain yukata covering Itachi’s chest and pulling him up so their faces were inches apart. “You are just doing that to get a rise from me.”



“Apparently it’s working,” Itachi smirked cockily in his brother’s face.



“Asshole--” Sasuke lowered Itachi back to the bed, the obvious shaking in his hands preventing him from maintaining his hold. “I--”



“There’s a lot needing to be said,” Itachi whispered, suddenly feeling very tired.



“Why did you stay away? I…I was fucked up for a long time, thinking I’d killed you--knowing I’d killed you without knowing the truth. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” Sasuke pulled away, running hands through mussed hair.



“At the time, it was the only thing I could think to do. I just didn’t think you would take the route you did.” Itachi chuckled, lifting a hand to push his bangs behind an ear.



“Orochimaru?”



Itachi hummed in acknowledgement. “Apparently, I was the foolish one to think I could control you with perfect precision. I saw you wavering. I saw you--the gradual way you began to let go of your anger and need to avenge what had been done. It wasn’t something I had expected you to relinquish so easily.”



Sasuke slumped in the nearest chair. “Naruto has that effect on people. Even back then when he was more annoying than any other creature on this planet.”



Itachi nodded. “I should have left it be. I should have let you be, but I wanted to be punished. I wanted you to punish me but I’ve never been one to throw a fight so I deviated from my original plans.”



Itachi began laughing at the complete insanity of the events long past but still painful. His hands lifted to his face, covering it. The laughter hurt his aching side. It was all he could do when faced with the incredulity of his life. It hurt.



“Itachi?”



“I’m a monster who created a monster. My carefully made plans were falling apart around me. You…you were becoming content and losing the hate I so carefully instilled in you. I acted quickly, hoping only to renew that hate. Instead, I handed you wrapped in a bow to Orochimaru.” Itachi spat the name like poison on his tongue. He could still feel the internal revulsion Orochimaru caused in him. To think Sasuke had spent so much time in his presence was an unthinkable thought.



Sasuke shook his head vehemently. “No! I made my own choices.”



“Sasuke--” Itachi’s hands clenched in the sheets covering him. “We both know I forced your hand.”



Silence spread thickly between them. It was like a wall erected between them. After so many years, neither could remember the feeling of being brothers. “Your son…he reminds me of you.”



“God I hope not,” chuckled Sasuke. Once more the ice was broken between them. It was a soothing relief--the wall, not necessarily crumbling, but instead parting.



“Kisame accused me of holding affections towards your wife.”



Sasuke’s eyes darkened for a moment, making Itachi chuckle at just how easily his brother could be riled. “I’m afraid I had to set him straight. She reminds me too much of Mother.”



The words relaxed Sasuke, a small smile gracing his face. “She saved me in a lot of ways. I was so angry, even after Naruto opened my eyes. She took all my bullshit. She told me to stop being a boy and act like a man. Can you believe that?”



Itachi shook his head, laughter threatening to bubble up from his chest. “It sounds as if she has you good and truly by the balls.”



“Hey!” Sasuke’s lips pouted, much as they had years before while begging Itachi to train him.



“Forgive me, Sasuke. You make it too easy.” Itachi chuckled a bit, his heart feeling lighter.



The jovial tone of the conversation didn’t last. Sasuke’s face became serious, his hand lifting to touch the closed lids of his eyes. “Nii-san…what did Madara do to my eyes?”



Of all the possible questions, it was one he couldn’t hope to answer. After stabilizing the Akatsuki, Madara had taken to the shadows once more--only Pein having access to him. By the time Madara resumed power, Itachi had already diverted his attention from the Akatsuki in favor of planning his confrontation with Sasuke.



Linking his fingers on his abdomen, Itachi chose his words carefully. “Madara…he was involved in experimentation. I think it’s one reasons he favored Orochimaru for a time. He was…less than honorable with our clan on that night.”



He thought back to the night. He remembered the chill in the air. Madara had refused to strike the first blow. Perhaps it had been a test, to see if Itachi would follow through. In retrospect, the likelihood of it being a test was considerable. The moment his blade sliced through warm flesh, Madara had joined the silent execution. In their arrogance, the Uchiha never saw the attack.



“Itachi?”



Itachi’s eyes flared open, his sharingan spinning in a dizzying whirl. “He took eyes, Sasuke.”



He could practically taste Sasuke’s shock and dismay. “Mother? Father?”



“No. He knew better than that.” Itachi swallowed the lump having gathered in his throat. “If he’d touched them, I would have killed him where he stood.”



“Could you have done that? Defeated him?” asked Sasuke.



“I don’t know.”



Sasuke quivered slightly in anger. “What did he do with them?”



That was the question, wasn’t it? At the time, Itachi had been too lost in his own grief--mindlessly following Madara’s lead. Only afterward did his mind clear. He’d never asked why the man took them. Perhaps it was that small inkling of fear of what Madara would say.



“Why didn’t he fix yours? I know you were half blind by the time we…met.”



“I wasn’t his ultimate goal. I was loyal to my home. He was careful. All my assignments led me away from the village. I’ve often wondered if he sent Orochimaru in your direction.” A quick glance to Sasuke showed his brother paler than usual.



Sasuke frowned, staring deeply into Itachi’s slowly darkening eyes. “But I thought I needed the eyes of someone possessing the Mangekyou sharingan.”



“Don’t be foolish, Sasuke. Just because no one said they had it, didn’t mean they didn’t. I can’t be certain. It was so long ago and at the time, I wasn’t the most, alert. There could have been others. There are other ways to obtain the Mangekyou sharingan.” Itachi sighed deeply. “From what I’ve gleaned, the other methods leave the Mangekyou unstable until it is trained appropriately. I’m sure Father and the clan elders didn’t want the village catching wind such a powerful technique being developed. I doubt any outside of Father and the elders knew who possessed it and who didn‘t.”



“For so long I thought he’d used your eyes. Every time I looked in the mirror, I could almost see you staring back at me. Fuck.” Sasuke buried his face in his hands.



“I think…he thought he couldn’t use my eyes. Perhaps.” Itachi tilted his head, considering. He’d considered the reasons why Madara had left him during his bedridden days and it was the only explanation he could come to.



“He thought you blinded yourself?”



Itachi nodded. “He thought I blew out my eyes, when in fact, I saved them. Forcing so much chakra through them cleared the build up--restoring all but the Mangekyou which I passed to you.”



“Sasuke.”



Both men glanced to see Miko standing serenely in the doorway. “You should let Itachi-san rest. You’ve been talking for almost an hour.”



Itachi was surprised at how tired he felt, and how happy. Talking with Sasuke, no longer fighting--it eased the ache in his heart that hadn’t left for nearly 15 years. He didn’t want his brother to leave, exhausted or no. This moment was too precious to him to lose.



“I’m fine,” he lied.



Miko smiled, stepping in the room, placing a firm hand on his chest, and forcing him down to the bed. “Liar. Just like your brother.”



“You should have seen him when he was a child. I can’t tell you the number of spankings he received for attempting to lie to mother. He was a terrible liar.” Itachi smiled fondly at the memory.



“He hasn’t gotten any better.” She shooed Sasuke reluctantly from the room and turned to where Itachi lay. “Sleep well, Itachi-san. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my son from you.”



The slid shut with a click. He closed his eyes and for the first time in what seemed like ages, he wasn’t afraid to sleep. He didn’t fear death but the ghosts that haunted his memories. Tonight, though, promised to be free of the nightmares.



oOo



Naruto stretched, his eyes lazily wandering over the smooth bedroom ceiling. The day before had been unbelievably difficult, in more ways than one. He hadn’t even bothered with food or a bath but simply fell across his double bed. Now, lying here, his body reminded his mind that he had chose to skip a meal in favor of sleep.



It hadn’t helped that he’d had to deal with seeing Kakashi looking so calm seated in Sasuke’s living room. Most days he could push aside the hurt and anger, favoring disinterest. Last night, with exhaustion and hunger beating at him, he’d cracked slightly beneath the strain.



It had been over a year, yet he still wanted to scream out at the injustice. His trust in Kakashi and Sakura had been so complete, he never in his wildest dreams would have imagined what transpired between them had he not seen it with his own eyes.



Closing his eyes, his mind wandered back to that day. He’s been on a long mission. Three months. It shouldn’t have run that long, but securing the objective took much longer than anticipated. When he’d finally made it back to the village, he’d run full steam towards Hokage Tower. His need to see Kakashi--to kiss him--had over ridden any other desire.



Exhausted, hungry, and smelling of things better left unsaid, he stepped into the Hokage’s outer office. It wasn’t unusual for Sakura to not be at her desk. She tended to stay busy between her rounds at the hospital and being the assistant to the Hokage.



So excited to see Kakashi again, he ignored the ANBU who tried to stop him as he pushed through the doors to the inner office. That was the moment time had stopped. Sakura, someone he’d always thought of as a friend was sprawled over the desk, skirt around her waist and legs wrapped around Kakashi.



Had he not been in such a state of shock, he might have blown up--raging madly at Kakashi. Instead, the shock transformed quickly to hurt. A few quick hand signs and he was at Sasuke’s door. His friend, having also been away on the mission, answered the door was a particularly pissed off look until he saw Naruto’s face.



The next few weeks were a blur. With the help of Sasuke and Miko, he’d acquired a new apartment. He refused to talk with Kakashi or Sakura. It was Sasuke who collected Naruto’s things from the space he’d shared with Kakashi.



Gradually the hurt turned to anger and then to indifference. Sakura had come to him contrite, and while he sensed her regret was genuine, their friendship had lost something that could never be returned. They continued to bicker and joke, but something was gone from their friendship.



Kakashi had come to him as well, seeking forgiveness. That had been a lot harder to swallow. Kakashi had always been someone he respected. When their relationship had been in its infancy, he’d thought he had found the person he wanted to spend his life with. How bitter those words had tasted.



When they were still together, Naruto had always been respectful in public. It was his respect for Kakashi and for the role he played for the village. After witnessing him and Sakura together, he’d dropped any and all honorifics from Kakashi’s name unless prompted.



Kakashi tried to lighten things, making a game of forcing honorifics from Naruto. Perhaps he was trying to find a way back into Naruto’s graces. It wasn’t working. Every -sama he uttered only drove another crack into the large canyon separating him from Kakashi. Kakashi’s playfulness was a sign of his hope to rebuild at least some facet of their relationship. Maybe some day he would be a big enough man to tell Kakashi he’d forgiven him. He had, he just found the words unable to be spoken. He might have forgiven Kakashi for his infidelity, but he would never have the desire to be more than a friend. That ship had sailed--never to return again.



Kakashi might have lost Naruto’s respect, but never say he held anything but the highest respect for the office of Hokage. He followed through with every mission, big or small. He gave his reports and put in his time on watch. He loved this village and everyone in it. The only difference was he no longer respected Kakashi the man as he once had.



“Fuck.” He scrubbed at his eyes, wiping away the thick build up. He still had to eat and shower before heading over to Sasuke’s to see how things went with Itachi.



A quick breakfast of cup ramen and a particularly large glass of milk followed by a steaming shower, Naruto felt a million times better. He was still a bit edgy--a not uncommon feeling after an assassination mission. Maybe after checking on Itachi, he could goad Sasuke into a spar to burn off the remainder of his edginess.



“Yo Sasuke-bastard. You awake?” Naruto yelled, strolling lazily around the house towards the garden in back.



“Considering it’s nearly lunch time, I would hope so.” Sasuke lowered his sword, having been performing his daily katas and sending Naruto a pointed look.



“Well, suck my dick you asshole. I had a lot going on yesterday…including saving your brother. Show some gratitude for my suffering.” Naruto snapped his lips shut, his tirade cut short upon seeing a small black head pop from behind a rather large bush.



“Unca Ruto…what’s a dick?” Innocent black eyes blinked widely at him up at him. “And, why would Daddy suck it?”



“Uhh…” Naruto’s eyes went wide at the feeling of pure untainted malice rolling from Sasuke in literal waves. Bright, very crimson eyes glared at him--making even Naruto fear for his life. “I didn’t know he was there, Sasuke. I swear on all that is holy.”



He’d wanted to goad Sasuke into a spar, he hadn’t intended on making him so pissed off he actually tried to kill him. Naruto dodged, quick to roll from the downward slash of Sasuke’s katana. “Fuck Sasuke! I said I was sorry.”



“Fuck Daddy! He said he was sowwy!” Ryuu yelled trying to run to protect his uncle, only to be snatched up by his mother. “Aww…I wanted to pway with Daddy and Unca Ruto.”



“Daddy and Naruto will play with you later. They need to burn off some steam and we need to have a talk about certain words.” Miko shook her head at the barely visible movement of Sasuke and Naruto.



“Shit Sasuke…ease up!” Naruto ran up the side of the wall surrounding the house just moments before a chidori laced katana buried itself in the stone. He’d wanted to spar but not when his life was on the line. Sasuke’s temper was particularly potent. He must have spoken with his brother, something Naruto wanted to do as well.



Sasuke didn’t waste any time scaling the wall, his speed amazing even to Naruto who was forced to scramble to his feet and balance on the wall while Sasuke initiated his attacks once more. Residual exhaustion and lack of a good breakfast were Naruto’s downfall, causing him to lose his balance and stumble, landing thankfully on his rear.



“Do you realize he is going to be cursing like a sailor all day?” Sasuke snarled angrily at Naruto, his katana pointed in a particular tender region. “I should cut off your balls and feed them to the dogs.”



“Jeez, I’m sorry. I’m not exactly one hundred percent here,” Naruto mumbled.



“You’re lucky I like you.” Sasuke lowered his katana much to Naruto’s relief. Not that he expected his friend to kill him, Naruto just didn’t want to take any chances. Sasuke tended to be a live wire on any subject revolving around Itachi, particularly since Itachi’s return.



“Does this mean I still get lunch?” His mouth was already watering at the thought of Miko’s cooking. Though he might try, a man could not live on ramen alone.



“I should let you starve.” Sasuke jumped from the wall, landing gracefully amidst the flowers. The bastard was too pretty for his own good. It was a shame Sasuke didn’t swing towards men, they would have made a good couple. Then again, there would be no Ryuu and that boy was a light in Naruto’s life.



“Come on. I said I was sorry. I’ll even baby-sit the next time you and Miko want a night to yourselves.” Naruto grinned, hopping from the wall to join Sasuke under the porch. Miko, angel that she was, had left two cool glasses of juice for them to sip before lunch.



“A tempting offer.” Sasuke leaned against a beam, staring out into the garden.



“I take it you and Itachi talked.”



Sasuke hummed, his fingers stroking the rim of the glass. “We talked. It felt strange.”



“Strange in a good way or strange in an Itachi went completely insane after your battle.” Naruto downed the drink in a single gulp.



“I think we were both insane before the battle began. Last night, it felt like we were brothers again. Not strangers or enemies. I felt like I was five again and he was carrying me around on his back. Those times on his back were the happiest of my life until I had Ryuu.” Sasuke frowned, obviously lost in his own world.



“Ne Sasuke. Can I talk with him?” There were some thoughts he wanted to share with Itachi. Now was as good a time as any in the event a death sentence was handed down. Not that Sasuke would allow such a thing and would likely take his family--including Itachi--and seek refuge in Mountain Country.



“Hmm? Itachi?”



“Who else, dumbass?” Naruto stretched his arms high. “There are some things I want to speak with him about.”



Sasuke shrugged. “If he’ll talk to you, I suppose. After lunch I’ll take you to him. Tsunade has him on bed rest for a few days. She said his chakra will take as long to replenish.”



Naruto nodded, following Sasuke towards the dining area. There were curious things beating at him--things he had debated through for seven years. Things only Itachi would have the answer for.



To be continued…