In the cold of space you find the heat of suns

Warning: The views, standards, mores and morals of the different groups in this story, including those of ‘spacers’, are not those of our world. They are the product of a fictional future history. Many of the behaviours they consider acceptable we do not; some of them are wrong by my definition in that they are damaging to one or more of the individuals involved and/or suggest that one individual has more intrinsic value than another. In this story, ‘spacers’ consider youths of fourteen capable of giving informed consent and they consider a job description that includes providing sexual favours to others, including much older people, to be normal and acceptable.

7. Thanks and apologies

It smelled like the crew room. Naruto was amazed. He was surprised to be waking up at all. It answered his question about whether he had killed Sasuke, because if he had he would be dead. At best he expected to be in some back alley in Minunderville. It looked like they were going to let him live and even walk away. He had known that they were nice. He ached. He couldn’t remember much after Sasuke’s punch crashed into his face. He vaguely remembered Kakashi carrying him. He sat up, moaning slightly from the pain. It was time, putting it off would not help.

Iruka must have been watching for him to wake because the familiar voice told him to wash and get dressed and come to the galley. Iruka was almost, but not quite, acting as if nothing had happened. He even put food in front of him, but Naruto could not eat it. Perhaps they would let him take it with him for later.

“We need to talk.” Iruka said.

Naruto could not stop the words tumbling out. “I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t help it. Is Sasuke badly hurt? Thank you for letting me live and for trying to feed me before throwing me out.”

Iruka held up a hand for silence. “Sasuke is fine. Kakashi stopped the fight quickly.”

“He did? Did I attack him? Is he hurt?” Naruto could not imagine managing to hurt Kakashi. Kakashi had killed Ken.

“Kakashi pulled Sasuke out of the head and shut the door. You hurt yourself trying to get out. Naruto, you need to listen. You need to answer some questions.”

Naruto quietened and waited.

“Has this happened before?” Iruka asked.

“Twice before.” Naruto could not look at Iruka. “Both since I started squirting.”

“What triggers it? An attack?”

Naruto had thought at lot about that and what had happened with Sasuke fitted the pattern. “Yes, but it has to be unexpected, by someone not too scary and I have to be feeling vulnerable.”

“You felt vulnerable with Sasuke?” Iruka queried.

Naruto scowled. “I was feeling him up and he was liking it. I could smell it. Too much of my mind was on fucking and nothing on defending myself.”

“He was liking it?”

“His prick was hard.” Naruto had a sudden thought. “Maybe he doesn’t like it. Genma said he was frigid. Does that mean he doesn’t like sex-stuff?”

“Naruto!” Iruka scolded. “This isn’t about Sasuke. It is about you. We think this happens because of your fox genes. The human parts and the fox parts were combined long ago to make a soldier. Being able to turn berserk made them better soldiers. You are turning berserk but you can’t control it. That makes you very dangerous.” Iruka bit his lip. “We think we may have a solution. There is this device, called a controller; you would have to wear it. It would render you unconscious when you went berserk.”

Naruto tried to work out what Iruka was saying. “It would turn me off when I flipped?” he checked. Iruka nodded and Naruto felt suddenly lighter. “That would be awesome, Iruka-san. Thank you. When would I be able to get one?”

Iruka was smiling. “It was Kakashi’s idea. It would have to be made for you, Naruto, and it may take a while to get it right. At first it may turn you off too often, perhaps when you were angry rather than berserk.”

Naruto was nodding. He didn’t care. He was going to get to stay. “I can cope with that. I understand. Better safe than sorry.” He was suddenly anxious. “If I wear this thing I get to stay, at least to the end of the trial?”

“That’s the plan, Naruto.”

“And everyone has agreed to it? Even those who saw? Even Sasuke?”

“Sasuke feels guilty about punching you, Naruto. He knows better. And Naruto?”

“Yes, Iruka-san?”

“Sasuke was still fighting you when Kakashi pulled him off.”

Naruto was looking for Kakashi but he found Sasuke. He had three parallel scratches on his right cheek, red eyes and his hands looked funny. He smelled horrid, like the corridors when they had just been cleaned. They looked at each other and then, to Naruto’s surprise, Sasuke brought his hands together in front of him and bowed.

“I apologise for my behaviour, Naruto-san. It was inexcusable. I take personal responsibility for what happened.”

Naruto knew something important was happening but didn’t understand what. He rubbed the back of his head. “Hey Sasuke, it was me who flipped out and tried to rip you apart. I’m sorry too.”

Sasuke straightened. “I attacked you without ‘flipping out’. It was my fault. Have you spoken with Iruka?”

“Yes. They are getting me this thingy so I can stay.” Naruto was suddenly uncertain. “Iruka said you agreed I should stay.”

“I do not want you to leave because I punched you.” Sasuke conceded.

Naruto wanted more. He did not understand why but he definitely wanted more. “I think we make a good team.” Naruto suggested.

“We do?” Sasuke queried.

“Yea, at least as far as the sex-stuff goes. I’ll look after Genma and Ibiki. You’ll have to keep doing Jiraiya because he only wants to be sucked and I’ve yet to find a male that will let these,” Naruto displayed his fangs, “anywhere near his prick. You look after the Captain because I go gaga when I see her.” Naruto made extravagant gestures in front of his chest. “…front bits. Kakashi and Iruka only want each other and we’ll share Shikamaru.”

“Share?” Sasuke asked, faintly.

“You look after his brain and I’ll look after the rest.”

Sasuke smiled at that. “You have it all worked out.”

“Only the sex-stuff.” Naruto felt another wave of anxiety. “That’s what you want, isn’t it, not to have to be fucked? Or to fuck? Genma said that was why the crew was looking for another cat. He said that you were great at everything except the sex-stuff.”

“I think Genma, Ibiki and Shikamaru would very much appreciate you looking after them.” Sasuke admitted. “Now can we stop talking about sex? I have work to do.”

“And I am looking for Kakashi.” Naruto told him.

“He’s in the Control Room. Be careful in there, Naruto,” Sasuke called after him as he sped down the corridor, “don’t touch anything.”

Kakashi said exactly the same thing and pointed to a chair that was well away from any of the controls. The control room was interesting, with lots of machines and displays.

“You wanted to see me, Naruto?” Kakashi reminded him.

Naruto forgot about the machines and the displays. “Thank you, Kakashi-san. Thank you for getting Sasuke away from me before he realised it wasn’t a normal fight. Thank you for not breaking my neck when you realised now dangerous I am. Thank you for knowing about the thingy and suggesting getting one for me. Thank you for killing Ken.”

Kakashi smiled. “And I thank you, Naruto, for being thoughtful enough to thank me. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Naruto was still confused about his encounter with Sasuke in the corridor. “Sasuke did this weird thing when we met just now. He put his hands together and bowed and said sorry in a really polite way. It seemed important.” Is it important? Do you know what it means?”

“Yes, Naruto. It is important and I do know what it means. It means more than sorry. It means that he is personally responsible for what happened. For example, if we had thrown you off the ship and you had died, he would have considered your death his fault. If you had family, I know you don’t Naruto but go with me here, he would have taken on your commitments. Even if it meant supporting your parents or your children.”

Once Kakashi mentioned children Naruto understood. “Wow,” he said, “that’s way more than sorry.”