Who Am I Really(COMPLETE 5/4/10)

Chapter Warnings: Lauguage, Sauske break down, angst, depression, lots and lots of sadness!!!! *sob*
Author Note: Okay, so for the next few chapters you all will be crying. (well if I did my job right anyway lol) There is hinting of other pairings if you are wise enough to see it. ^^ Twenty cookies to anyone who can tell me who they are!! THere's only a couple more chapters to go! Whoo!

Chapter Seven: Forget me Knot

Sam entered the room Sarah beside him as another man, the one who had designed the machine, explained the finer details of how "she" would work. Sam wasn’t really paying attention to the other guy, named Marty, he was to busy trying to keep himself calm. Plus for some reason the guy reminded him of Kabuto.

"Now we're going to put you under a slight hypnosis, this machine will display for us what is happening in your world. Sarah will be able to guide you far better this way and help you to finally start to integrate your personalities."

The guy was young, couldn’t be more that twenty five, this machine was probably his lively hood. If it failed he’d, no doubt, end up working nine to five for the rest of his life. Blond hair that he kept cut short, blue eyes and a pair of glasses that he kept having to push back up his nose. He was skinny and a little lanky looking wearing a white t-shirt, faded blue jeans, and a pair of sandals.

Sam nodded, "but today I just want to find out what the color red means to me."

The man gave a look towards Sarah who nodded then Marty shrugged. Far be it for him to decide what was to happen each session, besides he got paid for every one of them. More sessions meant more money and more creditability.

"Alright." Marty answered.

Marty swiveled the chair around plopping down into it before twirling back into place. Stretching, then cracking his neck before he placed his fingers on the key board. Sam watched with curiosity as the man flew through the starting programs typing in passwords and coding as he went from one panel to another.

The kid was good at what he did, and Sam was thankful for that. It made him feel a little easier about what was about to happen. He looked to Sarah who smiled reassuringly before pointing towards the dentist looking chair.

“Go ahead and have a seat Sam.”

He looked at that chair and the strange visor helmet looking contraption that hung over the area his head would be resting. Wires sprung out all over, the contraption was not refined in the least and he frowned. Still he was tired of feeling the way he was and he walked over and sat down on the seat.

"We'll just put this on you after you lie down and get comfy.” Sarah explained pointing to the head piece.

Sam did as directed taking a deep breath. Hopefully after today, he wouldn't be haunted by the color red. He would feel much better after this he said to himself and continued to repeat it as his heart started to hammer in his chest. Sarah slid the visor over his eyes and he could no longer see anything around him. It was almost enough to make him claustrophobic as Sarah proceeded to strap him down.

“It’s a safety precaution, for us and you.” she explained.

Sam nodded barely able to hear her over the sound of his heart pounding. He knew things could go wrong, it was why they had him sign a waver. Still reading about and experiencing it where to very separate things.

"You're about to be put under, are you ready?" Sarah asked him.

"Ready as I'll ever be." He replied.

"Alright. Marty, do your thing."

Ready or not, here I come… he joked with himself as he listened to Sarah’s calming voice and started to feel as though he were falling asleep.

********************

"This can't be true! He died sealing the damn thing into Naruto!" Sakura yelled as she finished reading over the scroll.

Gaara only sat patiently and watched over his lover his hands folded serenely in his lap. Kakashi was staring at him with his one eye, probably trying to decide if Gaara being so calm was good or bad. Sasuke snatched the scroll from Sakura and his eyes quickly looked over it, Sai reading the parchment from over the raven haired man’s shoulder. Sakura placed her hand over one of Naruto’s and squeezed her eyes shining with pain.

"I can't believe this! Someone else is trying to trick us or something." She said trying to deny the truth.

Gaara closed his eyes and took a deep breath at least she was taking better than the Lady Hokage. The woman had exploded in anger and had started to destroy her office right in front of him and his brother. Usually the woman would have just drunk herself to death, it was proof of how badly she loved the blond.

"Sakura, many stories are told depicting the truth, that doesn't make the whole thing true." He stated calmly.

Sakura slumped into a chair on the other side of the bed. Kakashi looked to the blond then away from him. Everyone loved him so dearly, wished only the best for him. It was a hard thing to realize that Naruto was going to die. Sai turned his gaze out the window as Sasuke tossed the scroll against the wall.

"That's not fair," Sai whispered in an unusual show of emotion.

"No,” the raven haired man breathed starting to shake.

Gaara went to say something but thought better of it, better to allow the Uchiha to get it out.

“NO! This can't be true! NARUTO you can't leave now!” Sasuke yelled running towards the bed ready to punch the blond.

Sai was quick and in front of Sasuke before Gaara could even blink and let out a small noise of discomfort when Sasuke fist came down on his chest. The wielder of ink refused to get out of the way stopping Sasuke from getting around him. Sasuke, forgetting who he really wanted to hit, started to pound into Sai’s chest.

“You fucking looser! I won't forgive you!” He called out hitting Sai over and over again. “I finally came home and you're fucking leaving!!!"

Nobody knew what to think of the break down, so those left in the room averted their eyes giving the man as much space as they dared. Kakashi was soon behind Sasuke forming seals slowly, allowing the Uchiha to vent his pain.

"DO YOU HEAR ME NARUTO!?!?! I'LL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE YOU!” He screamed into Sai’s chest.

Kakashi put a hand over the seething Uchiha heir once the last seal was preformed. Sai tightening his hold as Sasuke started to go limp under the sleep jutsu.

"Never, I'll never forgive you never..." He continued to whisper as he fell asleep.

Kakashi hooked an arm under the man's legs and helped Sai maneuver Sasuke‘s body in a way he could hold the weight. Sai nodded his thanks before heading towards the door, Sasuke still whispering how he would never forgive Naruto in his sleep. Sakura started to shake tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Oh god.... I can't take this." with that she ran out the door a sob escaping her before she got away.

Kakashi looked at Gaara sliding his hands into his pants pockets. They regarded each other coolly before the silver haired nin nodded walking to leave the room to go see to Sakura. Gaara knew the man was hurting, he’d lost one of his precious students, it didn’t matter that Naruto’s parents had been the cause of this.

“Tell him we all love him.” Kakashi stated quietly already knowing what Gaara was going to do.

“Of coarse.” with that the man was gone.

Gaara, now the only one left in the room, looked at Naruto for a long moment trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his lover was never to return. Slowly his sand poured to the ground at his feet before it stretched across the room to click off the light and shut the door. Faster now, the sand melded itself against the door, walls and windows locking out all light and preventing others from coming in. He could not risk being interrupted it could hurt him as well as Naruto.

He pulled back the covers that hid his lover underneath. Pulling the bottom of the shirt up he slid his elegant hand over the crumbling faded pieces of what was left of the seal before pressing his hand flat against it. Gaara slowly closed his eyes taking a deep breath in to calm his racing thoughts. He didn't know if this would work, but he was going to give it a try. If his hypothesis was right, then he'd be able to call to Naruto and see his lover on the other side of the demon seal.

***************

Sam walked through memories, or rather made up memories, Sara encouraging him to focus on the color red to seek out red, then all of the sudden he was in a room of black.

Water dripped from different areas in front of him and beside him. The stench of dank caverns and rusted out old pipes entered his senses as he breathed in. Should he be able to recall smells that weren’t really there? He took a step further into the darkness and he heard the sound of his feet slosh through water. The feeling of his feet, socks, and pants up to his knees being wet suddenly hit him.

What the hell?

He looked around and as if someone was slowly turning on dim lights the place started to glow, the water he was standing in murky with what looked like sludge floating around in it. The walls were metal plates with large claw marks dug into them, blood splattered half hazardly across them. Black mold growing up from the water and around some of the rusted pipes.

Sam gagged as all the smells assaulted him and had to put his hand against the questionable wall to steady himself. He finally realized he was in the room that he had thought contained the Kyuubii. He didn’t remember it smelling this bad but it had always looked like this. He placed his hand over his nose, he knew he shouldn’t have to, but the room smelled so rank with death and decay. He didn’t feel like loosing his imaginary lunch at the moment.

Sarah stared at the screen as did Marty. Something wasn’t right here, Sam should not be able to smell anything, the world was make believe. No one ever remembered smell from memory, they could smell something and remember a memory from it, but it never worked the other way around. Her chest felt tight, maybe she should call this off, maybe it was still to soon to put Sam through such a thing.

Her eyes widened as the sound of a second set of foot steps came over the speakers and a man came stepping out of the shadows towards Sam. In all her sessions with Sam he had never described this man. Not once. This man that was slowly coming into view somehow seemed different to her. Something seemed off about his presence.

"Naruto?" The deep voice came rolling out of the speakers.

Wow.... her heart skipped a beat. Who was this guy? She wondered as he heart started to speed up. On the heart monitor Samuel’s heart sped up as well. Sarah glanced over to her client lying on the chair, she really should put an end to this, but…

"Who, who are you?" Sam called out to the slightly visible man.

At this the man stopped as if burned his entire body flinching as if someone had tried to hit him. Sam's heart was pounding, his head was spinning. What was happening, what was going on here. None of this was ever how it was when he was visiting the Kyuubii.

It finally registered he no longer smelled the mold, rust, or blood. A new smell came to him, one that was strangely comforting and achingly familiar. The smell was of the warm earth that had been toasted in the sun for hours. The smell of the desert, his mind answered putting together the puzzle little by little.

Sam felt that it was important, that smell, but he just couldn’t totally remember. His chest was so tight, but that could easily be the anxiety. When the man stepped enough into the light Sam’s eyes widened incredibly large and his body started to shake, the unknown man’s hair could now be seen.

It was red... His heart lurched to a stop. The color of blood, the color of passion, the color of life. Red, it was red, so beautiful, so dark, so untamed, so… NO! This wasn't real, what ever he was feeling right now wasn't real. Everything that he was seeing right now wasn’t real and he snapped his eyes shut.

Instead of loosing the picture on the screen like they should have the man was still visible as was the room. Sarah’s hand clamped around the clip board she carried. This was all so wrong, all of it wasn’t going as it should.

The red head stepped closer, "You have, forgotten me."

It was more of a statement than a question but the hurt was evidently clear and Sam's throat constricted. He looked back up at the man and his brown eyes came into contact with pale green. Suddenly he was finding it very hard to breath as something seemed so close to the surface, some important thing was about to break free.

"How could you forget Naruto?" The redheaded man whispered his eyes shinning with pain.

"My name is Sam!" He yelled back his heart hammering painfully against his chest.

The man stopped for a second, he was so very close now Sam could make out the features on his face. The smooth planes of a cheek bone as it curved up into black ringed green eyes, up to the browless forehead the red kanji carved into the flesh. He could see the detail on his cloths. Cotton, dyed burgundy and warn, the black leather strap of the large gourd he carried on his back. Sam could even hear the other man breathing his breaths coming out slowly, chest rising and falling calmly.

"You're Naruto to me." He whispered.

Sam whipped his head around behind him into the darkness beyond this moment. Sarah was starting to panic saying something about how Sam should be able to control this. That he should easily be able to put a stop to it. Yet Sam wasn’t able to, it was like this man was totally contained in himself. It seemed that this red head was really here and so was he.

"Is it so much better where you are now? So much better that you have no need for me in your heart Naru?" The man asked his voice almost as quiet as the wind.

The red head reached his hand forward and brushed his fingers over Sam’s face green eyes staring into his brown ones. Sam closed his eyes, and shivered as tingles seemed to ripple from the spot the fingers had touched. Then, the realization of the truth came slamming into him snapping his eyes open in horror.

"Ga-Gaara..." he choked out.

~TBC~