Lost Symphonies

Reviews from AFF.net

 

Angelj23200: Yeah, Naru will def be moving in soon XDDD

 

Mina: There’s even more of a twist that will be revealed in this chapter XDDD

 

Mija: Yeah, it’s better to spill the baggage early on in the relationship. And thanks for the comments on the smex XDDD. As for choosing Kabuto as the abuser, we didn’t want to choose someone too obvious like Orochimaru or something like that XD

 

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“My ex’s name is Kabuto.  I met him at a club that his… I don’t even know what Orochimaru was. His mentor or something. But Orochimaru owned a D/s club and Kabuto was pretty big there. I was pretty new to the scene and I had no idea what I was doing. When he showed interest in me, I was… really happy. Everyone was jealous of me, because they all wanted him. But he wanted me.” Naruto let out a long breath and scooted down in Sasuke’s lap, turning to the side so he could lay his cheek against the raven’s chest. “Everything was fine at first, but after about six-months, when he’d gotten me ‘trained’, it was like a switch had been flicked.  I think he got bored of me so he decided to… spice things up a bit, I guess. It started out harmless. When I did something wrong, he’d resort to physical punishment. The spankings and stuff I could deal with, but… It got much, much worse than that.”



Sasuke stiffened once he heard that name exit Naruto’s mouth. He knew Kabuto and the raven had not sensed one ounce of bad in the man’s body. Even after they had both left Orochimaru to become Doms. It did make a bit of sense now that Sasuke thought about it. Orochimaru always seemed to show favoritism toward him. Kabuto was almost always ignored unless Sasuke wasn’t available.  Rejection like that from a Dom never failed to make a person bitter toward their future subs if they chose to pursue that path.



He wasn’t sure what to say at first. Their worlds seemed to be coming together and it was a bit scary to think about. “I know him… and Orochimaru. I trained with Kabuto when I first started out. We were both Orochimaru’s subs.”



Naruto’s face drained of colour and he pulled back to look at Sasuke, his eyes trailing over the raven’s face. “You’re serious? You… You learned how to be a Dom with… with him?”



Naruto swallowed heavily to try and wet his suddenly dry throat. “But you’re so different. I don’t understand.” His chest felt so tight, to the point that he could barely breathe.  “How…? He was… Kabuto was… He ruined me for a long, long time and you… you were trained with him…”



The blond couldn’t wrap his head around it. He just couldn’t understand. Sasuke was completely different than Kabuto and he didn’t know how that worked. If they’d been trained together… where had Kabuto gone so wrong?



“Orochimaru took me in as his sub after he had already taken in Kabuto. As soon as he had me he almost completely disregarded Kabuto. Don’t get me wrong, Orochimaru’s methods aren’t what you would call pleasant; he’s a sadist in every aspect of the definition. I knew this going in and it was what I thought I wanted.” Sasuke realized he was talking about himself and switched back to the subject at hand.



“After I became Orochimaru’s sub, Kabuto was tossed to the side. I don’t know, maybe he has built up anger and bitterness from that but… I never thought…” He looked at the blonde and saw the slight apprehension in his eyes. “I’m not like him Naruto… I would never treat you badly. If anything, Orochimaru is the reason why I’m so different than him; I would never want to be like that. I don’t want anyone to suffer under my hand.”



Naruto nodded slowly and eventually settled down against Sasuke again. It was true; he already knew that the Uchiha was different, in every sense of the word.



He was silent for a few minutes, his mind rushing. That explained so much about why Kabuto was so… crazy. “He’s completely unstable, Sasuke. There’s something wrong with him mentally, I think. You must be wondering why I didn’t leave him if he’s so crazy… and I didn’t because I couldn’t. He threatened not only me, but he knew how much I cared about Kiba, and he threatened him, too. If I said anything, if I tried to leave, he was going to kill us. And I believed him. After the very last thing he did to me, it was hard not to.”



Sasuke felt his chest tighten at that. He couldn’t even imagine how scared Naruto must have been. Stuck in a relationship with an abusive man who threatened to kill you and those you cared about. “If you don’t want to tell me; I know how hard this must be for you to be telling me already.”



“No… No, it’s okay…” Naruto whispered, snuggling further against Sasuke. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sasuke and draped his tails over the both of them, taking comfort in the soft, fuzzy warmth. “Kiba and I had a plan. There was nobody we could go to, because we had no proof. The cops were useless so we took things into our own hands. He was going to get me out and we were going to take off… leave the country if we had to. I still don’t know how Kabuto found out, but he freaked out.”



Naruto closed his eyes as memories played through his mind. They felt horrifically real. He started shaking, trembling against Sasuke’s body. “All I can remember is pain. I was mostly unconscious and lying on the ground, but he just kept attacking me. I found out afterwards that he’d broken four of my ribs, and my arm. My nose was smashed in, and… god, I can’t even remember everything he did. He was in a rage. He was so angry because I’d broken his main rule and had tried to leave him. I eventually passed out and when I’d woken up… He lived in an old house with one of those cellars with outdoor access. When I woke up, he’d chained me up down there. I was stuck there for days without food or water, in the freezing cold without any protection. I got pneumonia and an infection in my lungs. I was coughing up blood almost constantly. I was in so much pain, and it was…”



He could still remember the musty smell from the mold that covered the walls and the irritating, harsh smell of urine. The concrete floor was all cracked and rough against his skin and water dripped from a hole in the two wooden doors that led outside into the backyard, making it damp and chilly inside the pitch-black room. Bugs were plentiful and constantly crawling all over him, biting at his skin and burrowing in his hair. There weren’t only bugs; there were rats, too. He still had scars from where they’d bitten him. “I still have nightmares about it…”



A pale cheek rested against the top of Naruto’s head, Sasuke’s arms tightening around the blonde. There was so much building up inside of him. He wanted to hurt Kabuto, he wanted to kill him. How could someone be that… cruel? Of course he knew that it was possible but he really had no idea that the small man could be capable of something like that.  



“How did you get out?” Sasuke knew for a fact that Kabuto wasn’t in prison; he had seen the man about two months before, back with Orochimaru. What a surprise. He wondered if his old Dom had something to do with the obvious cover up.



“Kiba,” Naruto answered with a tight smile. “When I didn’t meet him where we’d planned on it, he knew something had happened. He waited until he had an opportunity, until Kabuto had left to run some errand after about a week. The guy that was supposed to be watching the cellar was pretty stupid. He went outside for a cigarette and Kiba had his dog attack and take the guy out, and then he broke down the door with an axe and got me to the hospital. If it wasn’t for Kiba…”





“Why isn’t he in prison? Didn’t you report him for kidnap, abuse, rape…? Anything?” Sasuke’s stomach tightened knowing the man was still out roaming free. What he did was unforgivable and there was no doubt that he was capable of doing it a second time.



“I tried, but Kabuto has so many connections… We hadn’t… I mean, he hadn’t… there was no evidence of him on or in my body,” Naruto whispered. “I went to the police and told them but when they approached Kabuto, he had an ‘alibi’. Orochimaru gave it to him. So they didn’t believe me, they just figured I got into a fight or something.”



Sasuke’s mind raged at that prospect. He had a feeling Orochimaru had something to do with Kabuto getting off the hook. He may have taken a liking to Sasuke but Orochimaru would always be a constant in Kabuto’s life, no matter how badly the man treated Kabuto.



He held the blonde, comforting him as much as he could. What could he say? There was just so much pain and he knew how much it took to tell him. “Thank you for telling me all of this. I know it must have been hard and I appreciate you being open and honest with me. I want that in our relationship, no we both need that. Someone that we can depend on and know we can fully trust. I know I’ve already said this but I’m serious about this relationship and I want nothing more than to be with you and for this to work.”



“It doesn’t bother you?” Naruto asked quietly, pulling back once more to look at Sasuke. “I know that’s a lot of baggage to handle… You haven’t slept with me yet. You haven’t had to experience when I wake up screaming after dreaming of all the things he did to me…  I’m mostly over it now, but… but it still gets me at night sometimes.”



“I like you Naruto… I’m not about to leave you, especially now that I know for sure what happened.” Sasuke shifted a bit so he could look into Naruto’s eyes. “I can take care of you… I’ll treat you right and I have no problem taking away your nightmares. I’m more than willing to take care of you and I mean it.”



“Thank you,” Naruto whispered, shifting so he could press his lips to Sasuke’s. He didn’t stop. He kept it slow and gentle at first, simply taking comfort in the simple affection. His eyes fluttered closed and he thread his arms around the raven’s neck, letting all the bad memories drift away to be replaced with Sasuke. He let the Uchiha fill up all the voids inside of him, and he almost felt completely whole in that moment. More so than he had since the incident.



The raven immediately responded to the kiss as he pressed against the blonde, bringing the man closer. He let his tongue gently slide over Naruto’s bottom lip before slipping into the warm mouth, loving the taste of the man in his arms.



It wouldn’t be easy. He knew that someone who had gone through abuse would have a very difficult time trusting, but Sasuke was determined to make the transition back into the scene as wonderful and smooth as possible. He would do anything for the blonde; he could already tell he had picked the one for him. He just felt so right with Naruto, so complete.



Naruto reluctantly pulled away after a few moments and rested his forehead against Sasuke’s, panting softly. “I know I can move on with your help since there’s only so much I can do myself. I know I’ll never be able to trust anyone if I don’t try, and… I know I can trust you. I obviously already do to a certain extent, considering what we did tonight.”



Sasuke’s hand stroked gently through Naruto’s thick blonde locks. He kissed him once more before pulling back. “Thank you for trusting me. I feel privileged that you feel so strongly about us, especially knowing how difficult a decision I’m sure it was for you.”



The raven kissed Naruto’s forehead before standing, Naruto still in his arms. He walked toward the bathroom before putting the blonde down on his feet. “Go get ready for bed. If you don’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed with me, I completely understand. But if you decide that you want to, I’ll be waiting.”



“Okay…” Naruto muttered as he headed for his bag. He pulled out some sleep pants and changed into them, then stood there eyeing the bed.  His heart warred with his mind. He wanted to sleep with Sasuke, to once more experience the warmth, the comfort of being held – not that he was sure Sasuke would want to hold him. But his mind told him not to do it, not yet.



Heading out to the living room, he checked in on Kitsu, who was curled up on the floor. He made sure the dog had food and water before going back to the bedroom. And then, deciding to just do what he really wanted, he climbed into the big bed and slid beneath the covers.



Sasuke had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when he saw the blonde enter the bedroom once more and he smiled. He was hoping Naruto would choose his bed but he honestly didn’t expect the blonde to make the decision so quickly.



Closing the dishwasher and turning it on, he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth before stripping off his robe and headed into the bedroom spotting the blonde under the blankets. He said nothing as he hung up his robe and turned off the overhead lights before slipping into bed next to Naruto, pulling the other against his chest in a comforting hold.



“Comfortable?” he asked, kissing the scarred cheek gently. He’d have to ask Naruto about that later, he hadn’t mentioned getting the three lines on each cheek from Kabuto…



“Yep,” Naruto sighed, shifting over a bit more so he could snuggle against Sasuke. He could hardly believe how good it felt to have those strong arms around him… He was suddenly overjoyed that he’d decided to spend the night in Sasuke’s bed. He could already feel himself beginning to drift off.



“You’ll have to push me away if you get too hot,” he mumbled, covering his mouth as he yawned. His mess of tails folded around both of them, enveloping them in fuzzy warmth. “They can get pretty hot…”



Sasuke let his hands brush over the soft tails as he trailed kisses over Naruto’s shoulder. “It’s a pretty cold night; I think I’ll appreciate the warmth.”



Reaching over, he turned off the side lamp and didn’t bother with an alarm since he didn’t have to work tomorrow and Naruto didn’t have to work until the next evening. “Coffee is in the cabinet above the sink if you wake up before me.” he murmured, his body relaxing against Naruto’s smaller frame, his eyes getting heavy.  



“Mk,” Naruto muttered his head tilting up until he could press his nose into Sasuke’s neck. He inhaled deeply and let out a shuddering breath, the raven’s scent invading his senses. It was one of the best things he’d ever smelled.



“Night Sasuke.” Pressing a kiss to Sasuke’s soft skin, the blond let himself fall into the hazy, comfortable abyss that was sleep. It was deep, as it always was, but the earlier conversation still wreaked havoc on his mind.



Each and every time Kabuto had struck him, cut him, raped him – every time the silver haired man had forced him to do something he didn’t want to do… Each was a vivid memory that his sleep could not filter out, and he was forced to relive each moment until it became too much to handle.



A few hours later when his mind drifted to that dark time he’d spent in the cellar, injured and in pain to the point that he was practically delirious, he bolted upright in bed with a loud cry. His body trembled and tendrils of cold sweat dripped over his skin, tears from his eyes. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Naruto buried his face away and couldn’t help but sob. His skin was crawling, his body absolutely aching with false pain where his wounds had previously been and he couldn’t seem to get ahold of himself. He couldn’t pull himself from the dark recesses of his mind.



As soon as he felt movement, Sasuke was awake and had the light turned on. He had heard the pained cry and knew Naruto had woken from a nightmare. How could he have not had dreamt about it just after describing everything to the raven?



Sasuke gently placed a hand on Naruto’s back, not wanting to startle the man as he began to rub gentle circles against the soft skin, whispering soothing words to the other. He wanted so badly to gather Naruto in his arms but he wasn’t quite sure how awake he was yet, he didn’t want to panic him any further.  



Naruto jolted as soon as something touched him. He let out a loud wail and scrambled to the other side of the bed, his hazy, sleep-riddled eyes wide and confused. The blue orbs darted towards Sasuke and then around the room, as though he was trying to figure out exactly where he was.



“D-Don’t hurt me…” he whispered, his tails curling protectively around himself. “D-Don’t… I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry…”



The raven looked startled himself for a moment before he realized what was happening. He didn’t move toward the blonde though, not wanting to upset him.



“Naruto… it’s alright, no one’s going to hurt you.”  He looked over at the door, hearing a whine and saw Kitsu standing there looking worried. Sasuke sighed and nodded. “Come on Kitsu…”



The dog made his way into the room and cautiously approached Naruto’s side of the bed, gently resting his muzzle on the blonde’s thigh.



“Take a few breaths Naruto. You’re in my apartment, remember?” Sasuke removed the blankets from his body and stood on the opposite side of the bed before grabbing a remote from the side table drawer and turning on the overhead lights once more.



Naruto squirmed away when he felt something touch his leg, but recognized his dog and laid a hand on his head. He looked up at the light on the ceiling as it flicked on and blinked rapidly to try and clear the haze and when he looked back, he saw Sasuke standing there looking on worriedly.  And then he realized what had happened.



“Shit…” he whispered, his voice coming out shaky because he was trembling so hard. “Shit, I’m sorry…”



Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sasuke continued to keep his distance, just in case. “Don’t apologize; you can’t control what you dream.” His hand reached out to gently cover Naruto’s.  “Do you want some water?”



“No… No water…” Naruto’s eyes prickled with the start of tears and he turned his face away. The fact that Sasuke obviously wasn’t mad mixed with the genuine concern he heard in the raven’s voice… It was so hard to believe. He’d honestly expected Sasuke to get mad.



Slowly, he inched closer. He lowered himself to the bed and laid his head in Sasuke’s lap, closing his eyes as he tried to relax again. His muscles twitched with nervous energy and he balled his shaking hands into fists, taking deep breaths. “It happens sometimes…” he admitted. “Even when I haven’t been thinking about what happened… This is why I stayed away from the scene for so long… I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”



Sasuke’s hands immediately stroked along Naruto’s back and hair, trying to comfort the other like he had been doing previously. “Naruto, stop apologizing. I know it’s hard for you to deal with what’s happened but I don’t want you to bottle anything up, that’ll only make it worse. Do you want me to lay down with you?”



“Okay… Yeah, lie down with me,” Naruto sighed. He offered a weak smile and scooted back up the bed to lie down where he had been previously, pulling the blankets over his chilled body.



Sasuke let himself lay down as well looking over at Kitsu who had taken up residence on the floor beside the bed on Naruto’s side.



“Do you want Kitsu to stay in here? I’ll let the rule go just for tonight.” He curled his body around Naruto, bringing the blonde close, his lips meeting his sub’s quickly.



“I know you don’t want him in here, but… but I need him,” Naruto whispered, turning over and curling himself against Sasuke’s chest. “If you let him stay tonight, I’ll… I promise I’ll never ask again…”



“I know you won’t ask again. That’s why I’m making the exception.” Sasuke stroked the back of his knuckles down Naruto’s cheek. “If he makes you feel better then he can come in if you have another bad dream when you’re here… sound good?”



“Yes,” Naruto answered quietly. He let out a long breath and closed his eyes, silent as he let his body calm. It took a while, but the trembling eventually ceased but he ached badly from his muscles being tensed so long. “It doesn’t happen every night, so don’t worry about that. Just once in a while... normally when I’m stressed about something. It’s never usually this bad, but still, I’m glad I told you earlier.”



Sasuke saw Kitsu’s head over the side of the bed and couldn’t help but smile at the worry the dog had for his owner. “You might want to reassure Kitsu, he looks worried.” His lips met Naruto’s and stayed there for a moment before letting go of the blonde.



“Okay.” Naruto rolled over again and draped himself over the side of the bed, petting the dog’s enormous head. He scratched behind the red ears and couldn’t help but smile at his beloved pet.



“It’s okay, buddy. I’m okay.” He sighed when Kitsu heaved himself up and put his front paws on the bed, licking over his cheek. “You can’t sleep in Sasuke’s bed, only in mine… You gotta sleep on the floor, Kitsu.”



He pet the dog for a few more minutes before Kitsu was seemingly reassured. The dog turned in three circles before lying on the floor, right beside the bed. Turning back over, Naruto found himself in Sasuke’s arms again. “He’s a good dog. He looks out for me. I know he wouldn’t ever let anything happen to me.”



“I can tell.” Sasuke said, his arms circling around Naruto once more. He felt the adrenaline leave his body quickly and his head felt heavier as he sank into the bed a bit further.



“Thank you for staying over tonight. It shows how much you do trust me already and I appreciate that.” He smiled gently, combing his fingers through Naruto’s hair repeatedly in a soothing manner, aiding Naruto to sleep.



“I do,” Naruto muttered, well on his way to sleep again. The gentle affection from the raven was greatly calming him down. “It’s kind of scary how much I do, but I’m moving forward… I need to move forward… Forward… with you.”



The blonds eyes fluttered closed and he drifted off to sleep once more. Only this time, it was peaceful. The nightmares didn’t return and he slept like the dead in Sasuke’s arms, his own winding around the raven and clinging to him tightly.



Sasuke sighed quietly once he heard the heavy breathing and let himself drift off as well. It was hard to explain but he was already growing so attached to the blonde. He had never experienced such closeness with a sub before; then again, he’d never really had a relationship last this long. But with all the things that were going right, Sasuke had a creeping suspicion that it was all too good to be true. Nothing was this easy…



His eyes closed and he drifted off. Unlike Naruto, his sleep was light and a bit restless.

~TBC