Spiral Falling
folder
Naruto AU/AR › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
32
Views:
2,781
Reviews:
615
Recommended:
3
Currently Reading:
2
Category:
Naruto AU/AR › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
32
Views:
2,781
Reviews:
615
Recommended:
3
Currently Reading:
2
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Intertwined knots
Title: Spiral Falling
Author: Becca Amon
Genre: AU
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke
Warnings: Shounen ai, yaoi, lemon, language, possible NCS
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Contact: Free_Fall00@hotmail.com
Archived at: http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/
Archiving: Please ask author for permission.
Author’s note: My first Naruto and NC-17 fanfiction. Be kind, enjoy^^.
Feedback: Always welcome, especially constructive. If you’re just e-mailing me to tell me you’re enjoying the fanfic, that’s deeply appreciated.
AN: Wah! I apologize for the large gap in updating. RL intervening you know? ^.~ Well hopefully this makes up for it. It is extra long and I’ve been told contained one of the more memorable moments. Thank you so much for your continued support. In dire times such as these, an author desperately needs the motivation ^^. I’d like to thank my beta-reader, Ailetoile, she is fantastic! Brilliant! Wonderful! *writes a list*. *huggles* Thank you!
“….” - Dialogue
* - Scene change/ time pass
Chapter 6 – Intertwined knots
*
“Argh!! Thank goodness!!” Sakura sighed loudly as she fell back on the couch, papers crunching under her weight.
“If I had to go through this textbook one more time…” she began to threaten, but was interrupted when Sasuke came into the room.
From his seat on the floor, legs tucked underneath the low table, Naruto watched Sasuke enter the upstairs living room bearing snacks and drinks. The pale boy’s expression was cold and distant. It would melt away soon, Naruto knew. It only happened whenever he had to go downstairs for something. Sasuke’s parents were entertaining below, and he would be sidetracked by a guest and questioned about a variety of things every time he ventured down there. He was usually accosted at the bottom of the stairs. The noise was low enough that both Sakura and Naruto had heard the polite but dry responses the other boy had given every time. It was insensitive, Naruto thought, for a stranger to ask such personal questions.
There were things one didn’t want to talk about, and it was even worse when it was brought to the surface by an unthinking question. People asked questions, Naruto thought, and sometimes they knew no boundaries. They were forced to linger over subjects they did not want to visit to appease an inquiry meant only to fill in the gap in conversation. People could not stand silence for long. They would strive to fill it. Unknowingly, they helped to resurface unwanted issues. When they walked away from the conversation, he continued to deliberate, they probably easily forgot what they had discussed. They would pat their own backs at successfully filling in the silence while the questioned one would be left with the ache that came with remembering.
A glass of something blue was placed in front of Naruto’s textbook, effectively interrupting his wandering thoughts.
“Here, dobe....Haruno san”, Sasuke said, handing the pair a glass of juice each.
“Hmmm?” Sakura looked up from her sprawled position, letting her elbows support her upper body. “Call me Sakura, Sasuke kun”, she admonished chidingly. “Haruno san sounds so...” she made a sour face.
“Sakura then”, he said in his most charming voice. Her heart skipped a beat and, predictably, she beamed.
Naruto accepted the drink without comment and just rolled his eyes. Taking a sip of the suspicious blue liquid, he watched Sasuke take his seat on the other corner of the square table. He felt a pair of legs drape over his own underneath the table as Sasuke began to gather the scattered notes.
Shrugging inwardly at the contact, Naruto looked over his own work once more. Sakura soon sat up and gathered her notes as well.
A couple more minutes of silence followed, occasionally broken by the crisp sound of paper and a comment or two between the trio.
“Is that all?” Naruto finally asked after reading through the last page of his research and deeming it acceptable.
“Yes it is. I think we would have had more if you hadn’t fallen asleep, though!” Sakura answered, pointed an accusing finger at the blonde.
“I did my part! So I think I’m warranted a nap. Besides, if I fell asleep why didn't you wake me then?”
“I tried! You almost kicked me!” she retorted.
“Che..” he scratched his head and took another sip from his glass. “Not my fault…I didn't get enough sleep”, he mumbled into the glass.
“What?! How? You live alone Naruto!! You can sleep anytime you want! It should be quiet enough. There is no one to bother you!! You-!” She faltered in her tirade when she saw Naruto's somber eyes. She caught herself, but it proved to be too late when she saw his white knuckled fists. He allowed his hold on the glass to lessen, and then released it entirely. From the corner of her eyes she saw Sasuke watching them curiously.
“Naruto I'm sor—“.
“That’s fine Sakura chan”, he sighed into the glass and felt Sasuke’s legs shift on top of his.
It was a touch meant to comfort, Naruto thought and maybe a touch tinged with curiosity as well. He decided not to elaborate further on Sakura’s almost revelation. It was certainly neither the time nor the place for such a discussion. He was sure Sasuke would learn about his circumstances eventually. Whether he wanted it or not, Sasuke was rapidly becoming part of his life. He gave a small nudge back,nowlnowledging the gesture but remaining silent.
Sakura looked as if she might try to apologize again, but with a quick shake of Naruto’s head he forgave her and silenced her as well.
“Sasuke”, the unexpected voice made the trio jump in surprise. Naruto felt Sasuke’s legs retreat as they looked toward the entryway. Sasuke's mother stood at the threshold. She stood so silently and still that it made Naruto wonder how long she’d been there. She wore a dark evening dress that shimmered in subtle ways when she moved, and her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, causing her face to look severe.
“Haruno san's parents are here to pick her up.” Naruto shivered as her eyes passed over them, noting that her jaw had tightened at the mere sight of Sasuke. The other boy looked back unflinchingly.
“Oh!” Sakura stood; glad to be able to break the tense atmosphere. She turned and with all the sun she could squeeze into a smile she faced the woman. “Thank you Mrs. Uchiha” she beamed, but the woman had already left. They heard her retreating heels click slightly against the wooden steps as she took them one at a time.
Sakura frowned at the retreating figure, then smiled as she turned to the boys.
“Okay guys..ah..I'll take my copy and I guess I'll see you tomorrow!!”
“We're done here...I should go too.” Naruto also got up.
“Oh! Then let me ask my parents if we could give you a ride!” Sakura offered.
“No…” Naruto refused, a little wary. “It's alright Sakura chan… I'll be fine”.
“Are you sure? I know they wouldn’t mind…” she trailed off when Naruto shook his head and dismissed the offer.
Naruto smiled tightly. “It's fine Sakura chan”.
“...Okay then…If you’re sure. It’s freezing outside you know?”
When Naruto said nothing else, she accepted his decision reluctantly.
“I'll walk you to the door,” Sasuke said. He got up and they walked downstairs. Naruto followed the pair at a distance while Sakura enthusiastically discussed mundane things with Sasuke. She was filling in the silence, Naruto thought.
At the bottom of the stairs, a few guests that were hanging back from the gathering greeted them. The pink haired girl easily deflected their polite questions and excused them from the curious group.
A wave of chilly winter air assaulted them when they stepped outside. Hurriedly throwing on her coat and wrapping her scarf around her tiny neck, she waved good bye and ran to her parents’ waiting car. The car’s low beam lights blinded the boys momentarily as it drove past. Sakura waved from confines of the dark vehicle and the pair watched until it disappeared from their sight.
“It’s freezing. You should have gotten a ride,” Sasuke said turning to the blonde.
Naruto shrugged. “They don't like me.”
“Ah,” Sasuke replied, understanding.
“I should get going,” Naruto murmured as he turned to go back indoors to retrieve his belongings.
“I'll walk you.”
Naruto paused in his steps and looked back to the other boy. “What? No, it's all right.” Sasuke ignored his protest and went to the living room to tell his parents.
Inside, Naruto drew away from the crowd and waited for the other boy’s return.
“Come on, let's get your stuff.”
They climbed back upstairs to retrieve his things, and were soon outside in the cold once more, walking away from the deceptively cheerful mansion.
*
They walked quietly, side by side. The wet snow clung to the soles and the sides of their shoes. Their breath misted in the air and occasionally one of them would cough when the chilly breeze burned down his l. Ye. Yellow light bathed them when hurrying cars whispered by, and they would step farther away from the streets to avoid getting splashed by muddy slush. People braving the cold fled from one warm place to the other. A couple of girls bumped against Naruto as they hurried to catch a taxi cab, and Sasuke held out an arm to keep him from falling on the wet ground. In an easy silence they walked, hunched, against the merciless wind, their hands tucked in their pockets seeking warmth and their thoughts kept to themselves.
The scenery gradually changed from manicured lawns and gated houses to tiny convenience stores and apartment buildings. Once they had reached a well-lit seven story building, the pair stopped walking.
“You didn't have to walk me,” Naruto broke the silence. “You had guests”.
Sasuke shrugged. “They don't care,” he laughed bitterly. “They won’t notice”.
Naruto adjusted his bag while he observed the other boy. Sasuke stared off into the distance; his seemingly callous face was an unreadable mask. No, not unreadable, Naruto thought. Sad… It was sad.
The discomfort of not knowing what to say made the silent awkward. Any other sound from their surroundings was a welcome relief.
Finally, Naruto looked up at the dark winter sky and watched his breath mist in the air. “Wanna come up?” he invited.
Sasuke looked a little startled at the hesitant invitation, but quickly recovered and accepted. “It’s a little late. I hope your parents wouldn’t mind.”
The blonde boy didn’t falter in his steps. He merely shrugged and fished for his keys. “I’m sure they won’t mind,” he said.
*
Unlocking the door, Naruto gave it a forceful shove. He took note of the loud squeak of iron and reminded himself to oil the hinges the next opportunity he got. They stepped into the dark apartment, with only the light coming in streams from the open windows guiding them to the living room. He made another note to changed the burnt out light bulb in the entry way. The silence of the apartment was palpable.
Naruto shivered. “Shit! I forgot to leave the heat on… Wait a sec, k?”
He turned on the lights to the living room and found that that light bulb, too, was burnt out. Cursing under his breath, he tried the lamp beside the couch and grinned in relief when it gave off a dim soft glow.
“Erm. make yourself at home.. I'll turn the heater on”.
He hopped from one foot to the other as the chill of the wooden floors penetrated his socks. Dashing to the hallway, he turned up the heat to a comfortable temperature and then rejoined his guest in the living room.
He found Sasuke standin fro front of a wall decorated with picture frames, eyes moving from one photograph to the next. Naruto noticed that Sasuke’s eyes seemed to remain longer on the family pictures.
“You want a drink or something?” he asked from where he stood under the threshold.
“Or something,” Sasuke replied, looking toward Naruto from across the room.
“Something warm?” the blonde inquired.
“Hot chocolate,” Sasuke grinned.
“Ah. Right. I might have that.” Flushing, Naruto entered the kitchen and walked towards the fridge, taking out the milk to heat. Sasuke followed behind.
“Do you need help?”
After retrieving a small pot from the bottom cupboards, Naruto poured milk he estimated was enough for two people into the slowly heating pot. As the stove grew warmer, he drew his body closer to cherish the radiating heat. He turned and for a moment was surprised to see Sasuke in his kitchen. He shook his head to brush away the mild surprise.
“Umm… No, it's all right.”
Sasuke casually leaned against the wall, hands warm in his pockets as he watched the other boy prepare their drinks.
“How do you do it?'” he quietly inquired.
“Do what?” Naruto asked as he opened a cupboard and reached for the chocolate powder. He swore silently when the shelf proved to be too high for his medium height. A warm body pressed behind him suddenly as a hand reached up to retrieve the bag of cocoa his long fingers could barely touch.
“Here,” he heard Sasuke whisper. A puff of warm breath tickled his ear.
Naruto took the bag cautiously, uncertain how to react. When warm arms surrounded his chilled body, he wanted nothing but to sink further into them. He cursed the faulty apartment heater for its sluggishness.
“Thanks... Ummm—“
“—you looked so tempting while you slept. I wanted to blow you. In front of Sakura,” Sasuke whispered as he pressed his face into Naruto’s hair.
Naruto coughed, a little embarrassed as his mind generously provided him with a very attractive mental image.
“Umm, good thing you didn't.” He pushed Sasuke aside to lean against the counter while he emptied a packet of hot chocolate into the pot. “So, you were saying?” Naruto asked, gesturing for the other boy to continue with his other question.
From the corner of his eyes he saw Sasuke take a deep breath before he spoke.
“How do you live alone?”
Naruto paused in his stirring, mesmerized by the spiraling chocolate liquid swirling around the unmoving wooden spoon. He had figured that Sasuke would notice the discarded clothes on the floor, the barely surviving house plants, the empty cups of ramen littering the surface of the centre table and the single plate on the rack. All of these were things that indicated there was no maternal presence to clean up after her messy boy and no paternal presence to tell his son to clean up after himself. Naruto was sure Sasuke had noticed the dry funeral wreath on the mantle and the miscellaneous things that did not belong to a 17 year old, collecting dust.
Countless ways to avoid answering the question surfaced in his mind, and he chose one as he began to stir the pot once more.
“I just manage. Not much choice.” He tried to shrug his uneasy feeling off.
“You said your parents wouldn’t mind someone over.”
“No, they wouldn’t.”
“The adults at one of the parent and interview night--”
“--Ah. My aunt and Uncle.”
“Why aren't you with them?”
Naruto stopped stirring and stared at the boiling hot chocolate. He felt the rising steam touch his face, cloud his sight. “It's complicated”.
The silence that followed rung too loudly in his ears, and he slapped the wooden spoon against the metal walls of the pot to break it.
“Like how you and I are complicated?” Sasuke finally asked.
Snapping his neck to the side he stared at Sasuke with wide eyes, confusion tripping up hiain ain of thought.
“It’s not that I'm not grateful for the change of topic but, what are you getting at?”
Sasuke sighed out loud and ran his fingers through his hair, an action born of frustration. “Don't you ever think about it?”
“Thinking is a dangerous habit”, Naruto replied too quickly.
“You live alone, you have some guy harassing you on almost a daily basis, your relatives aren't living with you, you're-“
“Uchiha! What are you getting at!” His temper was rising and the pleasant warmth he felt suddenly became too suffocating. No one cared, no one ever asked and it should stay that way, his mind screamed. When they asked, it got--
Sasuke slammed his fist on the counter and the strength of the blow caused a few jars to shake.
“Aren't you bothered by these things?!”
Naruto hissed. “I noticed that it wasn’t exactly heaven at your place, either. You rank highest in our grade and get swamped by admirers daily, but you don't have any friends,” he snorted. “I think you should be more concerned about your problems and stay outta mine!”
Sasuke looked a little stricken by Naruto’s sudden outburst, and the blonde felt a little satisfaction to see some shock replace the usual cocky smirk.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Stop telling me what to do, Uchiha.” Naruto gripped the stirring spoon as he waited for Sasuke to speak.
“Nothing seems to faze you. I didn’t know. I didn’t know about your situation--”
“—would that have changed anything?” Naruto asked.
“…I’m not sure… I don’t even know how it began… One day, I just wanted you…You had everything I didn’t have…” Sasuke confessed, gazing into the other boy’s blue eyes.
“At first I had wanted to become you and I thought that maybe if I touched you, I would somehow possess what I desired… But then I came to want you entirely… No longer wanting to be you… But wanting you instead.” Sasuke shook his head distractedly, reflecting the turmoil in his mind.
Naruto released the spoon to allow his hands to dangle by his side, not knowing how to react.
“Sometimes,” Sasuke whispered almost too low to hear. He reached forward to graze his knuckles lightly across Naruto’s cheek, then cupped it in his palm. “Sometimes I wanted you so much, the only thing I felt that could ever satisfy me was to kiss you...” he said softly as Naruto's eyes widened a fraction.
“But I didn't know if you'd kiss back. If you allowed me the pleasure, I didn't know if it was because you were being forced to… Because of the pendant.” With his other hand he clutched the circular item through his shirt. “I think I would have preferred you hitting me instead of kissing back because you felt you were forced to,” he finished.
The pair fell into a preoccupied silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Naruto reached up to cover the hand on his cheek, intertwining their fingers. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Seizing every word and every feeling from Uchiha and then grasping his own as well, he held them against each other. He cleared away the confusion and some of the hurt, pushing them aside for a little while. He now understood Uchiha a little more, and it was enough to allow him to breathe a little easier. Resenting and holding a grudge would not help anything, he thought. He was not so vindictive. It would only hurt them both and he had enough pain in his life as it was. Would it hurt a little more, he wondered, to allow himself to breathe?
When he opened his eyes, resolve shone in their blue depths.
“I won't kiss you because I'm forced to,” he breathed.
Sasuke’s body visibly relaxed at Naruto’s reply. The blonde stood still as the other boy drew near. A hand lightly touched his hip, drawing him closer. Naruto’s free hand clutched the hem of Sasuke’s shirt with surprisingly nervous fingers. Their foreheads touched, eyes meeting as their breaths mingled.
Naruto felt Sasuke's breath caress his face as they came closer. He shut his eyes and felt warm lips press against his. In that brief instant, his breath caught, then became swift and shallow. His heart seemed to beat faster and he had a strange sensation of his toes curling. He easily felt the intimacy Sasuke’s closeness brought. It was different from before. Suddenly, he felt warmth piercing into his being from everywhere they touched. It was an overwhelming feeling that caused him to feel a little light headed.
Sasuke drew away but Naruto held him still before he could pull out of reach. Running his tongue across his bottom lip, Naruto thought it tasted like sweet air. The second time Sasuke kissed him; Naruto kissed back with equal vigor. Sasuke's hand slid away from his cheek only to bury excited fingers into soft blonde hair.
Encircling Sasuke’s neck with his arm, Naruto immersed himself into these unfamiliar feelings. The other boy’s touch left him breathless and greedily wanting more. A tongue darted out to lap at his bottom lip. He parted his lips obligingly as his knees buckled beneath him unexpectedly. He felt Sasuke’s quickly inhaled breath as he pressed their lips together more firmly. Sasuke's tongue thrust into his warm mouth, seeking its partner.
Someone moaned into the kiss. Naruto thought it might have been him, or Sasuke or perhaps it was both of them. Their tongues caressed against one another languidly. There was no battle of domination, just a surprisingly careful passion. Warm tongues slid into a sensual dance as bodies became flush against one another. Their kiss tasted like chocolate. The smell of chocolate flowed thickly in the air.
“Mmmm-wait!” Naruto breathed the air in deeply and looked around at their surroundings, momentarily forgetting where they were. Sasuke kissed down his neck as Naruto remembered the boiling pot of hot chocolate. He reached for the knob on the stove, turning it off.
“Hot chocolate's ready,” he announced breathlessly. Sasuke climbed back up to capture his lips once more, deepening the kiss, wanting. Naruto kissed back just as intensely.
A few minutes passed as they got lost in their kisses, forgetting the world and becoming two beings of just sensations.
Naruto's arms wrapped around Sasuke's neck as the boy encircled the blonde's slender waist. Their heated bodies pressed tightly against each other. When they parted, breathing heavily, Naruto found himself on the kitchen counter, legs wrapped around the dark haired boy’s hips.
“You should call your parents...” he murmured, voice husky and eyes glazed.
He tilted his head to allow Sasuke’s butterfly kisses to flutter about his neck.
“They won’t care,” Sasuke breathed into his flushed skin.
Embracing Sasuke’s neck and burying his face into soft, fragrant raven black hair, Naruto allowed himself to settle into a realm of contentment. He wondered at the difference it made when both parties were willing to participate in an act, when there was no struggle to get away.
“…But still… They might…” he pursued, closing his eyes when Sasuke embraced him closer.
A tightening began in his throat and he wondered at the new sort of ache. It wasn’t so unpleasant, but it wasn’t sincere either. Was he worried for Sasuke? How strange feelings were, once you set them loose. They started to change you immediately.
“All right,” Sasuke agreed. He lifted his arms away and Naruto felt as if the strings that tied them together were beginning to untangle. He still felt Sasuke’s presence, but it seemed to grow weaker as Sasuke moved away until it was just a dull thrum upon his senses, like a fleeting memory. How strange, he thought.
“Where's the phone?”
“It’s in the living room.”
“Okay.”
Naruto watched Sasuke leave the kitchen, a moment later he heard the phone being lifted from its cradle. He slid off the counter and checked the hot chocolate, and almost laughed when he realized that almost half of it had evaporated. He stirred slowly, watching the pink and brown liquid, as his body calmed and his thoughts lined themselves up once more.
Alone in the kitchen, Naruto slumped, arms braced on the oven handle. He made a decision and decided to stick with it, even if there were voices in his head that protested loudly. He calmed those thoughts and asked for patience. He would sort things out into some semblance of order.
“No answer. They can sleep peacefully even if I’m out”, the voice came from the doorway. “You okay?”
Naruto turned and grinned. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned sideways on the doorframe.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling a little.
From this distance, Naruto felt a throbbing of sorts, a pulling. Had it always been there, he wondered or was this something new? Did Sasuke feel it as well, or was it just him?
“How long can you stay? I sorta wanted to talk about a fewngs.ngs.”
“Really? I thought you wanted to make out some more,” Sasuke quipped.
A laugh was ripped from Naruto’s throat. He laughed heartily then grinned at an equally grinning Sasuke.
“That too,” he winked, allowing a sudden desire of boldness.
Sasuke looked at the clock. It was nine thirty.
“I could stay for awhile but we have the presentation tomorrow.”
Naruto poured himself and Sasuke a cup of hot chocolate each. He walked over to the other boy handing him his cup, then lead them both to the living room.
*
They sat in silence, empty cups in their hands. Their thighs and shoulders touched as they sat side by side. Naruto took Sasuke's cup and placed it on the table, along with his.
“You and I…” he began.
He looked sideways as Sasuke shifted to face him. He turned to face the other boy as well. Sasuke brought Naruto's forehead to rest against his and they looked down and wondered at their clasped fingers, fitting perfectly.
“I think,” Sasuke began softly. “I think the rest we can sort out later. It's a lot of things. For now, the most important thing is for you to know that I want you, only you. And, I’d like to ask if you felt the same.”
Pushing aside most things that needed to be approached, knowing that in time they would be resolved, Naruto looked inside himself for the answer to Sasuke's question. Shoving away all things unnecessary for the moment, he searched. After a while, he nodded, moving their foreheads.
“Yeah, I feel the same.”
He moved away to meet Sasuke's eyes and allowed a small hesitant smile. It was strange, he thought, that all he had done before was sneer at the other boy.
“Okay.” Sasuke smiled back and then sought Naruto's lips once again.
TBC
AN: I deeply appreciate all the feedback! Truly >.< and your patience as well^^ <.<…>.>..*looks around* thanks for sticking around ^__^.
Author: Becca Amon
Genre: AU
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke
Warnings: Shounen ai, yaoi, lemon, language, possible NCS
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Contact: Free_Fall00@hotmail.com
Archived at: http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/
Archiving: Please ask author for permission.
Author’s note: My first Naruto and NC-17 fanfiction. Be kind, enjoy^^.
Feedback: Always welcome, especially constructive. If you’re just e-mailing me to tell me you’re enjoying the fanfic, that’s deeply appreciated.
AN: Wah! I apologize for the large gap in updating. RL intervening you know? ^.~ Well hopefully this makes up for it. It is extra long and I’ve been told contained one of the more memorable moments. Thank you so much for your continued support. In dire times such as these, an author desperately needs the motivation ^^. I’d like to thank my beta-reader, Ailetoile, she is fantastic! Brilliant! Wonderful! *writes a list*. *huggles* Thank you!
“….” - Dialogue
* - Scene change/ time pass
Chapter 6 – Intertwined knots
*
“Argh!! Thank goodness!!” Sakura sighed loudly as she fell back on the couch, papers crunching under her weight.
“If I had to go through this textbook one more time…” she began to threaten, but was interrupted when Sasuke came into the room.
From his seat on the floor, legs tucked underneath the low table, Naruto watched Sasuke enter the upstairs living room bearing snacks and drinks. The pale boy’s expression was cold and distant. It would melt away soon, Naruto knew. It only happened whenever he had to go downstairs for something. Sasuke’s parents were entertaining below, and he would be sidetracked by a guest and questioned about a variety of things every time he ventured down there. He was usually accosted at the bottom of the stairs. The noise was low enough that both Sakura and Naruto had heard the polite but dry responses the other boy had given every time. It was insensitive, Naruto thought, for a stranger to ask such personal questions.
There were things one didn’t want to talk about, and it was even worse when it was brought to the surface by an unthinking question. People asked questions, Naruto thought, and sometimes they knew no boundaries. They were forced to linger over subjects they did not want to visit to appease an inquiry meant only to fill in the gap in conversation. People could not stand silence for long. They would strive to fill it. Unknowingly, they helped to resurface unwanted issues. When they walked away from the conversation, he continued to deliberate, they probably easily forgot what they had discussed. They would pat their own backs at successfully filling in the silence while the questioned one would be left with the ache that came with remembering.
A glass of something blue was placed in front of Naruto’s textbook, effectively interrupting his wandering thoughts.
“Here, dobe....Haruno san”, Sasuke said, handing the pair a glass of juice each.
“Hmmm?” Sakura looked up from her sprawled position, letting her elbows support her upper body. “Call me Sakura, Sasuke kun”, she admonished chidingly. “Haruno san sounds so...” she made a sour face.
“Sakura then”, he said in his most charming voice. Her heart skipped a beat and, predictably, she beamed.
Naruto accepted the drink without comment and just rolled his eyes. Taking a sip of the suspicious blue liquid, he watched Sasuke take his seat on the other corner of the square table. He felt a pair of legs drape over his own underneath the table as Sasuke began to gather the scattered notes.
Shrugging inwardly at the contact, Naruto looked over his own work once more. Sakura soon sat up and gathered her notes as well.
A couple more minutes of silence followed, occasionally broken by the crisp sound of paper and a comment or two between the trio.
“Is that all?” Naruto finally asked after reading through the last page of his research and deeming it acceptable.
“Yes it is. I think we would have had more if you hadn’t fallen asleep, though!” Sakura answered, pointed an accusing finger at the blonde.
“I did my part! So I think I’m warranted a nap. Besides, if I fell asleep why didn't you wake me then?”
“I tried! You almost kicked me!” she retorted.
“Che..” he scratched his head and took another sip from his glass. “Not my fault…I didn't get enough sleep”, he mumbled into the glass.
“What?! How? You live alone Naruto!! You can sleep anytime you want! It should be quiet enough. There is no one to bother you!! You-!” She faltered in her tirade when she saw Naruto's somber eyes. She caught herself, but it proved to be too late when she saw his white knuckled fists. He allowed his hold on the glass to lessen, and then released it entirely. From the corner of her eyes she saw Sasuke watching them curiously.
“Naruto I'm sor—“.
“That’s fine Sakura chan”, he sighed into the glass and felt Sasuke’s legs shift on top of his.
It was a touch meant to comfort, Naruto thought and maybe a touch tinged with curiosity as well. He decided not to elaborate further on Sakura’s almost revelation. It was certainly neither the time nor the place for such a discussion. He was sure Sasuke would learn about his circumstances eventually. Whether he wanted it or not, Sasuke was rapidly becoming part of his life. He gave a small nudge back,nowlnowledging the gesture but remaining silent.
Sakura looked as if she might try to apologize again, but with a quick shake of Naruto’s head he forgave her and silenced her as well.
“Sasuke”, the unexpected voice made the trio jump in surprise. Naruto felt Sasuke’s legs retreat as they looked toward the entryway. Sasuke's mother stood at the threshold. She stood so silently and still that it made Naruto wonder how long she’d been there. She wore a dark evening dress that shimmered in subtle ways when she moved, and her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, causing her face to look severe.
“Haruno san's parents are here to pick her up.” Naruto shivered as her eyes passed over them, noting that her jaw had tightened at the mere sight of Sasuke. The other boy looked back unflinchingly.
“Oh!” Sakura stood; glad to be able to break the tense atmosphere. She turned and with all the sun she could squeeze into a smile she faced the woman. “Thank you Mrs. Uchiha” she beamed, but the woman had already left. They heard her retreating heels click slightly against the wooden steps as she took them one at a time.
Sakura frowned at the retreating figure, then smiled as she turned to the boys.
“Okay guys..ah..I'll take my copy and I guess I'll see you tomorrow!!”
“We're done here...I should go too.” Naruto also got up.
“Oh! Then let me ask my parents if we could give you a ride!” Sakura offered.
“No…” Naruto refused, a little wary. “It's alright Sakura chan… I'll be fine”.
“Are you sure? I know they wouldn’t mind…” she trailed off when Naruto shook his head and dismissed the offer.
Naruto smiled tightly. “It's fine Sakura chan”.
“...Okay then…If you’re sure. It’s freezing outside you know?”
When Naruto said nothing else, she accepted his decision reluctantly.
“I'll walk you to the door,” Sasuke said. He got up and they walked downstairs. Naruto followed the pair at a distance while Sakura enthusiastically discussed mundane things with Sasuke. She was filling in the silence, Naruto thought.
At the bottom of the stairs, a few guests that were hanging back from the gathering greeted them. The pink haired girl easily deflected their polite questions and excused them from the curious group.
A wave of chilly winter air assaulted them when they stepped outside. Hurriedly throwing on her coat and wrapping her scarf around her tiny neck, she waved good bye and ran to her parents’ waiting car. The car’s low beam lights blinded the boys momentarily as it drove past. Sakura waved from confines of the dark vehicle and the pair watched until it disappeared from their sight.
“It’s freezing. You should have gotten a ride,” Sasuke said turning to the blonde.
Naruto shrugged. “They don't like me.”
“Ah,” Sasuke replied, understanding.
“I should get going,” Naruto murmured as he turned to go back indoors to retrieve his belongings.
“I'll walk you.”
Naruto paused in his steps and looked back to the other boy. “What? No, it's all right.” Sasuke ignored his protest and went to the living room to tell his parents.
Inside, Naruto drew away from the crowd and waited for the other boy’s return.
“Come on, let's get your stuff.”
They climbed back upstairs to retrieve his things, and were soon outside in the cold once more, walking away from the deceptively cheerful mansion.
*
They walked quietly, side by side. The wet snow clung to the soles and the sides of their shoes. Their breath misted in the air and occasionally one of them would cough when the chilly breeze burned down his l. Ye. Yellow light bathed them when hurrying cars whispered by, and they would step farther away from the streets to avoid getting splashed by muddy slush. People braving the cold fled from one warm place to the other. A couple of girls bumped against Naruto as they hurried to catch a taxi cab, and Sasuke held out an arm to keep him from falling on the wet ground. In an easy silence they walked, hunched, against the merciless wind, their hands tucked in their pockets seeking warmth and their thoughts kept to themselves.
The scenery gradually changed from manicured lawns and gated houses to tiny convenience stores and apartment buildings. Once they had reached a well-lit seven story building, the pair stopped walking.
“You didn't have to walk me,” Naruto broke the silence. “You had guests”.
Sasuke shrugged. “They don't care,” he laughed bitterly. “They won’t notice”.
Naruto adjusted his bag while he observed the other boy. Sasuke stared off into the distance; his seemingly callous face was an unreadable mask. No, not unreadable, Naruto thought. Sad… It was sad.
The discomfort of not knowing what to say made the silent awkward. Any other sound from their surroundings was a welcome relief.
Finally, Naruto looked up at the dark winter sky and watched his breath mist in the air. “Wanna come up?” he invited.
Sasuke looked a little startled at the hesitant invitation, but quickly recovered and accepted. “It’s a little late. I hope your parents wouldn’t mind.”
The blonde boy didn’t falter in his steps. He merely shrugged and fished for his keys. “I’m sure they won’t mind,” he said.
*
Unlocking the door, Naruto gave it a forceful shove. He took note of the loud squeak of iron and reminded himself to oil the hinges the next opportunity he got. They stepped into the dark apartment, with only the light coming in streams from the open windows guiding them to the living room. He made another note to changed the burnt out light bulb in the entry way. The silence of the apartment was palpable.
Naruto shivered. “Shit! I forgot to leave the heat on… Wait a sec, k?”
He turned on the lights to the living room and found that that light bulb, too, was burnt out. Cursing under his breath, he tried the lamp beside the couch and grinned in relief when it gave off a dim soft glow.
“Erm. make yourself at home.. I'll turn the heater on”.
He hopped from one foot to the other as the chill of the wooden floors penetrated his socks. Dashing to the hallway, he turned up the heat to a comfortable temperature and then rejoined his guest in the living room.
He found Sasuke standin fro front of a wall decorated with picture frames, eyes moving from one photograph to the next. Naruto noticed that Sasuke’s eyes seemed to remain longer on the family pictures.
“You want a drink or something?” he asked from where he stood under the threshold.
“Or something,” Sasuke replied, looking toward Naruto from across the room.
“Something warm?” the blonde inquired.
“Hot chocolate,” Sasuke grinned.
“Ah. Right. I might have that.” Flushing, Naruto entered the kitchen and walked towards the fridge, taking out the milk to heat. Sasuke followed behind.
“Do you need help?”
After retrieving a small pot from the bottom cupboards, Naruto poured milk he estimated was enough for two people into the slowly heating pot. As the stove grew warmer, he drew his body closer to cherish the radiating heat. He turned and for a moment was surprised to see Sasuke in his kitchen. He shook his head to brush away the mild surprise.
“Umm… No, it's all right.”
Sasuke casually leaned against the wall, hands warm in his pockets as he watched the other boy prepare their drinks.
“How do you do it?'” he quietly inquired.
“Do what?” Naruto asked as he opened a cupboard and reached for the chocolate powder. He swore silently when the shelf proved to be too high for his medium height. A warm body pressed behind him suddenly as a hand reached up to retrieve the bag of cocoa his long fingers could barely touch.
“Here,” he heard Sasuke whisper. A puff of warm breath tickled his ear.
Naruto took the bag cautiously, uncertain how to react. When warm arms surrounded his chilled body, he wanted nothing but to sink further into them. He cursed the faulty apartment heater for its sluggishness.
“Thanks... Ummm—“
“—you looked so tempting while you slept. I wanted to blow you. In front of Sakura,” Sasuke whispered as he pressed his face into Naruto’s hair.
Naruto coughed, a little embarrassed as his mind generously provided him with a very attractive mental image.
“Umm, good thing you didn't.” He pushed Sasuke aside to lean against the counter while he emptied a packet of hot chocolate into the pot. “So, you were saying?” Naruto asked, gesturing for the other boy to continue with his other question.
From the corner of his eyes he saw Sasuke take a deep breath before he spoke.
“How do you live alone?”
Naruto paused in his stirring, mesmerized by the spiraling chocolate liquid swirling around the unmoving wooden spoon. He had figured that Sasuke would notice the discarded clothes on the floor, the barely surviving house plants, the empty cups of ramen littering the surface of the centre table and the single plate on the rack. All of these were things that indicated there was no maternal presence to clean up after her messy boy and no paternal presence to tell his son to clean up after himself. Naruto was sure Sasuke had noticed the dry funeral wreath on the mantle and the miscellaneous things that did not belong to a 17 year old, collecting dust.
Countless ways to avoid answering the question surfaced in his mind, and he chose one as he began to stir the pot once more.
“I just manage. Not much choice.” He tried to shrug his uneasy feeling off.
“You said your parents wouldn’t mind someone over.”
“No, they wouldn’t.”
“The adults at one of the parent and interview night--”
“--Ah. My aunt and Uncle.”
“Why aren't you with them?”
Naruto stopped stirring and stared at the boiling hot chocolate. He felt the rising steam touch his face, cloud his sight. “It's complicated”.
The silence that followed rung too loudly in his ears, and he slapped the wooden spoon against the metal walls of the pot to break it.
“Like how you and I are complicated?” Sasuke finally asked.
Snapping his neck to the side he stared at Sasuke with wide eyes, confusion tripping up hiain ain of thought.
“It’s not that I'm not grateful for the change of topic but, what are you getting at?”
Sasuke sighed out loud and ran his fingers through his hair, an action born of frustration. “Don't you ever think about it?”
“Thinking is a dangerous habit”, Naruto replied too quickly.
“You live alone, you have some guy harassing you on almost a daily basis, your relatives aren't living with you, you're-“
“Uchiha! What are you getting at!” His temper was rising and the pleasant warmth he felt suddenly became too suffocating. No one cared, no one ever asked and it should stay that way, his mind screamed. When they asked, it got--
Sasuke slammed his fist on the counter and the strength of the blow caused a few jars to shake.
“Aren't you bothered by these things?!”
Naruto hissed. “I noticed that it wasn’t exactly heaven at your place, either. You rank highest in our grade and get swamped by admirers daily, but you don't have any friends,” he snorted. “I think you should be more concerned about your problems and stay outta mine!”
Sasuke looked a little stricken by Naruto’s sudden outburst, and the blonde felt a little satisfaction to see some shock replace the usual cocky smirk.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“Stop telling me what to do, Uchiha.” Naruto gripped the stirring spoon as he waited for Sasuke to speak.
“Nothing seems to faze you. I didn’t know. I didn’t know about your situation--”
“—would that have changed anything?” Naruto asked.
“…I’m not sure… I don’t even know how it began… One day, I just wanted you…You had everything I didn’t have…” Sasuke confessed, gazing into the other boy’s blue eyes.
“At first I had wanted to become you and I thought that maybe if I touched you, I would somehow possess what I desired… But then I came to want you entirely… No longer wanting to be you… But wanting you instead.” Sasuke shook his head distractedly, reflecting the turmoil in his mind.
Naruto released the spoon to allow his hands to dangle by his side, not knowing how to react.
“Sometimes,” Sasuke whispered almost too low to hear. He reached forward to graze his knuckles lightly across Naruto’s cheek, then cupped it in his palm. “Sometimes I wanted you so much, the only thing I felt that could ever satisfy me was to kiss you...” he said softly as Naruto's eyes widened a fraction.
“But I didn't know if you'd kiss back. If you allowed me the pleasure, I didn't know if it was because you were being forced to… Because of the pendant.” With his other hand he clutched the circular item through his shirt. “I think I would have preferred you hitting me instead of kissing back because you felt you were forced to,” he finished.
The pair fell into a preoccupied silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Naruto reached up to cover the hand on his cheek, intertwining their fingers. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Seizing every word and every feeling from Uchiha and then grasping his own as well, he held them against each other. He cleared away the confusion and some of the hurt, pushing them aside for a little while. He now understood Uchiha a little more, and it was enough to allow him to breathe a little easier. Resenting and holding a grudge would not help anything, he thought. He was not so vindictive. It would only hurt them both and he had enough pain in his life as it was. Would it hurt a little more, he wondered, to allow himself to breathe?
When he opened his eyes, resolve shone in their blue depths.
“I won't kiss you because I'm forced to,” he breathed.
Sasuke’s body visibly relaxed at Naruto’s reply. The blonde stood still as the other boy drew near. A hand lightly touched his hip, drawing him closer. Naruto’s free hand clutched the hem of Sasuke’s shirt with surprisingly nervous fingers. Their foreheads touched, eyes meeting as their breaths mingled.
Naruto felt Sasuke's breath caress his face as they came closer. He shut his eyes and felt warm lips press against his. In that brief instant, his breath caught, then became swift and shallow. His heart seemed to beat faster and he had a strange sensation of his toes curling. He easily felt the intimacy Sasuke’s closeness brought. It was different from before. Suddenly, he felt warmth piercing into his being from everywhere they touched. It was an overwhelming feeling that caused him to feel a little light headed.
Sasuke drew away but Naruto held him still before he could pull out of reach. Running his tongue across his bottom lip, Naruto thought it tasted like sweet air. The second time Sasuke kissed him; Naruto kissed back with equal vigor. Sasuke's hand slid away from his cheek only to bury excited fingers into soft blonde hair.
Encircling Sasuke’s neck with his arm, Naruto immersed himself into these unfamiliar feelings. The other boy’s touch left him breathless and greedily wanting more. A tongue darted out to lap at his bottom lip. He parted his lips obligingly as his knees buckled beneath him unexpectedly. He felt Sasuke’s quickly inhaled breath as he pressed their lips together more firmly. Sasuke's tongue thrust into his warm mouth, seeking its partner.
Someone moaned into the kiss. Naruto thought it might have been him, or Sasuke or perhaps it was both of them. Their tongues caressed against one another languidly. There was no battle of domination, just a surprisingly careful passion. Warm tongues slid into a sensual dance as bodies became flush against one another. Their kiss tasted like chocolate. The smell of chocolate flowed thickly in the air.
“Mmmm-wait!” Naruto breathed the air in deeply and looked around at their surroundings, momentarily forgetting where they were. Sasuke kissed down his neck as Naruto remembered the boiling pot of hot chocolate. He reached for the knob on the stove, turning it off.
“Hot chocolate's ready,” he announced breathlessly. Sasuke climbed back up to capture his lips once more, deepening the kiss, wanting. Naruto kissed back just as intensely.
A few minutes passed as they got lost in their kisses, forgetting the world and becoming two beings of just sensations.
Naruto's arms wrapped around Sasuke's neck as the boy encircled the blonde's slender waist. Their heated bodies pressed tightly against each other. When they parted, breathing heavily, Naruto found himself on the kitchen counter, legs wrapped around the dark haired boy’s hips.
“You should call your parents...” he murmured, voice husky and eyes glazed.
He tilted his head to allow Sasuke’s butterfly kisses to flutter about his neck.
“They won’t care,” Sasuke breathed into his flushed skin.
Embracing Sasuke’s neck and burying his face into soft, fragrant raven black hair, Naruto allowed himself to settle into a realm of contentment. He wondered at the difference it made when both parties were willing to participate in an act, when there was no struggle to get away.
“…But still… They might…” he pursued, closing his eyes when Sasuke embraced him closer.
A tightening began in his throat and he wondered at the new sort of ache. It wasn’t so unpleasant, but it wasn’t sincere either. Was he worried for Sasuke? How strange feelings were, once you set them loose. They started to change you immediately.
“All right,” Sasuke agreed. He lifted his arms away and Naruto felt as if the strings that tied them together were beginning to untangle. He still felt Sasuke’s presence, but it seemed to grow weaker as Sasuke moved away until it was just a dull thrum upon his senses, like a fleeting memory. How strange, he thought.
“Where's the phone?”
“It’s in the living room.”
“Okay.”
Naruto watched Sasuke leave the kitchen, a moment later he heard the phone being lifted from its cradle. He slid off the counter and checked the hot chocolate, and almost laughed when he realized that almost half of it had evaporated. He stirred slowly, watching the pink and brown liquid, as his body calmed and his thoughts lined themselves up once more.
Alone in the kitchen, Naruto slumped, arms braced on the oven handle. He made a decision and decided to stick with it, even if there were voices in his head that protested loudly. He calmed those thoughts and asked for patience. He would sort things out into some semblance of order.
“No answer. They can sleep peacefully even if I’m out”, the voice came from the doorway. “You okay?”
Naruto turned and grinned. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned sideways on the doorframe.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling a little.
From this distance, Naruto felt a throbbing of sorts, a pulling. Had it always been there, he wondered or was this something new? Did Sasuke feel it as well, or was it just him?
“How long can you stay? I sorta wanted to talk about a fewngs.ngs.”
“Really? I thought you wanted to make out some more,” Sasuke quipped.
A laugh was ripped from Naruto’s throat. He laughed heartily then grinned at an equally grinning Sasuke.
“That too,” he winked, allowing a sudden desire of boldness.
Sasuke looked at the clock. It was nine thirty.
“I could stay for awhile but we have the presentation tomorrow.”
Naruto poured himself and Sasuke a cup of hot chocolate each. He walked over to the other boy handing him his cup, then lead them both to the living room.
*
They sat in silence, empty cups in their hands. Their thighs and shoulders touched as they sat side by side. Naruto took Sasuke's cup and placed it on the table, along with his.
“You and I…” he began.
He looked sideways as Sasuke shifted to face him. He turned to face the other boy as well. Sasuke brought Naruto's forehead to rest against his and they looked down and wondered at their clasped fingers, fitting perfectly.
“I think,” Sasuke began softly. “I think the rest we can sort out later. It's a lot of things. For now, the most important thing is for you to know that I want you, only you. And, I’d like to ask if you felt the same.”
Pushing aside most things that needed to be approached, knowing that in time they would be resolved, Naruto looked inside himself for the answer to Sasuke's question. Shoving away all things unnecessary for the moment, he searched. After a while, he nodded, moving their foreheads.
“Yeah, I feel the same.”
He moved away to meet Sasuke's eyes and allowed a small hesitant smile. It was strange, he thought, that all he had done before was sneer at the other boy.
“Okay.” Sasuke smiled back and then sought Naruto's lips once again.
TBC
AN: I deeply appreciate all the feedback! Truly >.< and your patience as well^^ <.<…>.>..*looks around* thanks for sticking around ^__^.