Reflections (Abandoned WIP)

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Chapter Five – Shinboku

Part 2

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*A Month Later*

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Genma knocked on the door of Sasuke and Naruto's apartment and waited, rolling his “toothpick” around in his mouth. Normally, he would have just teleported in and delivered his message; however, almost everyone who'd teleported into this apartment came back out with singed ears. These two did not take kindly to unannounced visitors, and Genma preferred not to have Naruto yell his ears off.

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Someone's knocking... Mmm... Meh, screw them. I have Sasuke in my lap, he's at my mercy, and I have no desire to stop eating his neck or kneading his back. I'll go answer the door when I feel like letting Sasuke's brain function again. I'm not stopping in the middle of my after-breakfast snack for anyone.

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I moan softly as Naruto's tongue caresses the hollow of my throat and press closer to him. This isn't exactly our morning ritual, but it happens frequently enough. I had been trying to walk by to the sink to put my bowl away and tripped over a stray sandal. Naruto was fast enough to catch me since I was right next to his seat at the table at the time, but he'd have caught me anyway, regardless of where he'd been in the kitchen. I've learned that ninja can do just about anything you can think of and then some.

Like right now...Naruto's going to drive me crazy with that pleasantly evil tongue of his. I shiver and press closer, completely ignoring the knock at the door. They can come again later. Although I'm thinking I might right now...

----------****---------

They're still knocking. Growling in annoyance, I grab Sasuke's ass and lift as I stand up and carry him to the bedroom. Hah, in here I can't hear the knock as clearly. I lay him down on the bed and hover over him on my hands and knees, trailing hungry eyes over his body. He is so beautiful... especially when he’s flushed and panting like he is right now. And he's aaaaaall mine.

I grin and lean down to kiss the trembling skin covering his heart. All mine. Feeling playful, I swipe my tongue from one scar to the next, playing connect-the-dots. Sometimes, scars can be a very good thing

----------****---------

Leaving my eyes closed I squirm a little. He's looking at me; I can feel it. Look later. Touch now.

I'm about to reach up and pull him down when he moves. His lips brush my chest and I shiver all over. Making out with Naruto like this has become one of the best parts of any day. I moan a little more loudly when he begins to trace paths in warm saliva from one scar to the next. Oh, gods, that feels good.

"Naruto," I gasp softly and stroke the back of his neck with one hand while the other reaches above my head and grabs a fistful of the pillow.

----------****---------

"Mm?" I hum in question, flicking the tip of my tongue over one budding nipple before gently tugging on it with my teeth. Did I mention how much I love to have him at my mercy? Another moan escapes him and I grin, tugging just a little harder. Yep, definitely at my mercy. The verdict is - no brain for Sasuke until I say so! Hah!

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Genma knocked a few more times and gave up. If they were awake, one of them would have answered by now. Shrugging, he made his way back to the Tower. He'd try again later to deliver his message.

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My only answer for him is another moan. I cup the back of his neck, holding him where he is. If he resisted, I couldn't stop him. I'm too weak with pleasure right now, but I don't think he's really going anywhere. He rolls my nipple between his teeth again, and I throw my head back on reflex from the bolt of pleasure that it sends washing through my body like a tidal wave of aroused hormones. Good gods, he's going to make me cum in my boxers and I can't think of one good reason to protest...

----------****---------

"You like that, huh?" I purr, bathing his nipple with my tongue. The scent of his arousal is overpowering my nose and it's making me feel even more playful. My own erection is protesting the tightness of my boxers - borrowed from Sasuke, thus a little snug - but this is a lot more fun than attending to my own body. Hmmm... can I make him cum without ever touching his hard-on? Heh, heh, heh, I think I'm about to find out. Murring happily, I kiss a trail to his other nipple and give it the same attention I gave the first one while gently twisting that first one between my thumb and forefinger. Whoa, he jumped. I need to play this game more often!

"You really like this," I purr huskily.

----------****----------

My body has a mind of its own now, but that's ok because my brain's gone on vacation. My body arches and then my hips lift as my back falls flush with the bed again, straining for friction and release. I squirm as my rump meets the mattress again. My heels dig into the comforter which was kicked to the end of the bed last night and my hips lift again. I can't help but toss my head back and forth, and the hand that had been tangled in the pillow before is now tangled in his hair instead.

"Gods, Naruto," I moan huskily and mumble something that seems to come out as "Don't stop," but I'm not sure. I can't even understand myself at the moment.

----------****----------

Getting closer... I can almost taste it. I can definitely smell it. I slowly kiss a trail down his centerline and jab my tongue into his navel. Will that work?

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Genma sighed and lifted his hand to the door again. Tsunade had just sent him right back out to fetch them. She hadn’t been impatient before, but now she was insistent.

----------****----------

With an annoyed groan from me, everything comes to a halt. The knocking just won’t stop and it’s getting louder and less ignorable. At least, the person isn’t just barging in. We lay there together, panting in the comfortable silence. It’s comfortable enough with the endorphins coursing through us that we might have either gone to sleep or continued messing around in a moment if the knocking hadn’t increased in volume yet again.

After a few more minutes, I shift and push at him a little. "Take me to the bath before you answer the door?” It’s a small, quiet request. They’ve waited this long, they can wait just that little bit longer.

----------****----------

"Mm." I give him a quick, loving kiss and scoop him into my arms. Once in the furo, I turn on the tub's faucet. As the tub fills with warm water, I lead Sasuke to the stools and sit him down on his.

“I’ll be right back,” I murmur then go.

"Dammit.” Muttering darkly, I walk down the hallway. This had better be important! My patience is hanging by a slim thread. I'm mentally tired, the one I love isn't himself right now, and I am just generally not in the mood to deal with anyone other than the person waiting for me in the furo. If whoever's at the door is there with something trivial, I'm gonna beat them so hard they won't be able to stand for a week!

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Finally, the door opened, but it reveled a pissy looking Naruto in nothing but boxers. Genma stared for a second and then flipped the giant needle to the other corner of his mouth without lifting a finger.

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun. I was sent here to tell you to meet with Tsunade-sama in her office as soon as you possibly can today." (Best to be short and to the point. He looks really pissy.)

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"Fine," I growl and shut the door again. Not one to kill the messenger, I feel like going and chewing the old hag out for bothering us. I stalk back to the bathroom, pull off my boxers and sit down on a stool to wet my skin and hair.

"Baba wants to see me," I grumble to Sasuke, splashing water over my head.

----------****----------

Immediately, I turn on my stool to face him. "Should I stay here?"

I don't want to be alone, but I wasn't called. There's probably some form of protocol or something, I'm sure. Maybe I'll finally have some form of breakthrough on my memories or something while he's gone.

----------****----------

"Probably." I sigh and set the wash tub down. "I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise." I know and understand how much he hates to be alone. Hell, if I were in a place where I didn't recognize anything, I'd hate to be alone, too. I give him a quick kiss. "Want me to help you wash up first?"

Another blaring difference... the old Sasuke would have glared at me for such a stupid question. This one... chances are will say yes.

----------****----------

“Hai.” I pause. “You have to leave right now?”

He drains the tub since sadly we won’t be using it then comes over to me, pausing for a moment before he shakes his head with a sigh. Taking that for the negative ‘sigh of the defeated,’ I feel a little better knowing that he’s not rushing away from me. Then he asks, “Your back first or mine?” And I hear the sound of running water seconds after his presence leaves my side.

"Yours," I murmur and reach for him. I'm learning my way around here - around him - pretty quickly. We take our time bathing each other and when we’re through, I pull him up into a brief kiss.

"Thanks." It comes out as a gentle whisper as I reach up to lovingly caress his cheek.

"Don't be long...please?"

----------****----------

"I won't." I wrap a towel around him and lead him to the bedroom, where I kiss him again. Even if he is a ghost of his former self, I hate not having him with me. If this isn't important, I am so giving Tsunade-baba an earful. I get dressed quickly and hug him one last time. "I'll be back soon."

Going out onto the balcony, I leap in the direction of the Tower.

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*Hokage Tower*

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Naruto appeared before them in a cloud of Jutsu smoke just as Tsunade was about to call Genma in and ream him out for not fetching the boy sooner. Satisfied - but only mildly - she resumed her seat upon his entrance.

"It took you long enough," she snapped.

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"What do you want?" I snap back, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes at her. Wonderful, neither of us are in a good mood. This is going to be a fun meeting...

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"Don't give me your attitude, gaki!" Tsunade snapped and almost rose but for the hand on the inside of her elbow, staying her. Tsunade looked to the little old woman beside her. (I hope to the gods I never look like that,) she thought irritably.

The old woman was looking at Naruto by the time Tsunade turned her attention to her. Obaa-san stood slowly, the movement accompanied by a multitude of joints snapping, creaking and popping.

"Naruto. Please come with me to the little room over there," she said in a shaky but polite voice. "I am the one who wanted to see you. Tsunade-Hokage-sama only summoned you here for me."

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Who-? She was the one I last saw before passing out last month, after my damn parasite refused to be ignored. I've seen her a couple times since, but always from a distance. Sometimes I see Sasuke with her.

"Who are you?" Is she the ‘Obaa-san’ Sasuke mentions sometimes? What does she want with me?

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"I, dear boy," the old woman explained as she hobbled towards the room, expecting him to follow obediently. "Am a mind-healer. I have been caring for Mitani for the past year until your people came to retrieve him. Or...Uchiha Sasuke rather.

“My, my, imagine my surprise to discover the infamous Uchiha Heir right under my own nose. Guess I'll be needing to get new spectacles."

She chortled and pushed the door open. "Inside, boy," she ordered and waited, leaning heavily on the door and her cane.

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"Mind-healer...?" I don't know if I like the sound of that. Casting Tsunade-baba a look out of the corner of my eye, I warily follow the old woman into the other room, ready to flee if need be. At least I now know that she is the Obaa-san Sasuke talks about.

"Why do you want to see me? There's nothing wrong with my mind." Not anything she can fix, anyway. I seriously doubt she can handle the fox any better than I can.

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"Because I can help you. I can't get rid of the demon, obviously, but I can teach you how to control him as well as any good handler controls his pets." The old woman's eyes caught Naruto's vibrant violet gaze and her voice lost all shakiness.

"And you, Kyuubi no Kitsune will not meddle with him while I am here." It was an order and a very direct one. She meant it to be followed or there would be dire consequences.

"Now," she continued while Naruto stood still, blinking a little owlishly in confusion. "What I want to teach you, I'll tell you right up front. I want to teach you how to create your own mental shields between yourself and your parasite. Any mind is capable of creating a wall of protection within itself. Some people do so to avoid traumatic memories, locking those experiences away in small shields. Sometimes the shields get kicked up accidentally, as in Sasuke's case, but his is also partly due to trauma as well. The brain is damaged, but not beyond repair. Your Hokage is a very talented woman and I will leave Sasuke's physical healing to her, and only then will he be able to heal his memory."

Rambling, she hobbled over to the table and painstakingly drew out two chairs, positioning them comfortably across from and facing each other.

"Sit," she ordered.

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Mental shields? The hell?

I understand what she's talking about with mental walls blocking traumatic experiences - it's hard to find a ninja that hasn't blocked out something horrible in their past - but a wall between myself and the fox? That's not possible, not with the way we're merging. We're still two separate entities, thankfully, but I don't know how much longer that's going to last.

"You showed up a couple years too late if you want to put something between me and the fox," I state as I sit down, still wary of this whole situation. I can hear the fox growl quietly - the first sound I've noticed since I beat the shit out of it last time - but it's not directed at me, so I ignore it.

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The old woman took the other seat, settled with her cane between her knees, and put both of her hands on the hook's top.

"Ah, there's the painful part. I'm going to teach you to extract yourself from the other. Leave all the bad out of yourself and tuck all the good back in behind the wall around your Center. The fox won't be able to hear you without your permission and you won't be able to hear him unless you want to. It will be slow going, and you'll have to put everything you have into this, but you'll be free of the demon except as a power source."

She leaned back with a soft grunt and hooked the cane on the edge of the table to get it out of the way. Then she stared at him. She could easily see his Chakra Circulatory system, blue in the extremities and purple at the heart. At least he wasn't entirely merged. Another year or more and he'd have been in worlds of trouble. Sighing, she turned her gaze to his eyes and stared straight through him and in, looking into his mind from a "bird's eye view." She was unable to step in. His mind was crowded enough as it was, but she could look around it as though observing a field from "above." However, directions in the mind were what one wanted them to be mostly. The fox and Naruto were definitely merging at a rapid pace at one point. Things had slowed recently though.

(Sasuke's presence, I would venture,) she thought to herself.

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The way she's staring at me is really... unnerving, and I tear my gaze from hers. Her gaze is a lot like that of a Hyuuga's, only hers is more unsettling. A Hyuuga can see through you, but it feels like she can see straight into my mind. The demon's growls are getting louder and more agitated.

(Shut it.)

"It would be great if you could make it so I can block the fox out, but I don't think you'd be able to get us to unmerge. It's been in me since I was born." From what Ero-Sennin's told me, the fox and I started to merge when I was still a kid. There is no way she can undo all that time.

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Painstakingly slow, the woman rose again, scooting to the edge of her chair and pushing herself up by the arms. Limping to him, she reached out and caught his chin, forcing his gaze back to hers. Then she took a closer look. It was true. A few of the "veins" she observed ran far too deeply for her dislodge them.

Well, then she wouldn't, but she'd help him bury them so deeply that they barely meant anything at all. And she told him so.

"It's as you say, but that doesn't mean that I can't reverse some of your merging. And some is always better than none." Releasing him, she stepped back. "Are you willing to try to take back your mind? To let it never be said that you didn't try everything open to you to keep that demon at bay?"

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Stupid question. I've wanted for years to be alone in my mind again, for that silence I took for granted as a child.

"I am willing to try," I state with absolute certainty. Anything is worth trying if it keeps my damn parasite under lock and key.

(Go back to licking your wounds before I go in there and remove those stumps that are growing back.)

"Good. Then I would ask you to listen closely to my instructions today. Do you know how to meditate?"

"Yeah. I'm okay at it." I used to be really good at it until someone started talking to me all the time.

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"Good. At least that is one exercise that I will not have to teach you. From now on, I want you to meditate twice a day. Think first of nothing and then reach for your Center. It will come as a pillar to your inner senses. It will be calm and strong, I can see it now, even as I look at you. It feels yellow and crisp like autumn sunlight at evening. I want you to seek it until you find it easily and then I want you Ground yourself there. You will understand when you actually do it. Meanwhile, I will be training you on concentration in blocks of two hours every other day. That is your regimen until you are finished. Understood?"

The old woman turned and picked up her cane as she explained and then faced him, hunched and ancient, but looking wise for it.

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"That's it? All I have to do is meditate and reach for my Center?" I ask skeptically. That can't be right. "How is just meditating going to help me take my mind back?"

As for this "Center" thing... I'm not to sure about it, especially with her description.

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"Your Center is your Self. It is the seat of your very being. If you cannot define it, then you cannot define yourself. Unable to do that, you will be unable to define what is you and what is the fox. It is the first step to learning to halt and undo as much of the merge as you can. I cannot do it for you. You must do it yourself."

Obaa-san sighed and started for the door. "I will have Tsunade-Hokage-sama send for refreshments. I must assess the situation more closely by asking you some questions and checking your basic meditation methods. We may be a few hours."

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A few hours?! Dammit, I promised Sasuke I'd be back soon!

"I'll do it," I blurt out, striding past Obaa-chan into Baba's office. "Oi, Tsunade-baba!"

Tsunade looks up after a moment and asks simply, "Well?"

"Uhm... Obaa-chan wants you to send for refreshments for us. She says I'm gonna be here a long while. And... uhm..." I drop my gaze and shuffle a bit. I hate breaking promises, but it looks like I don't have much of a choice at the moment. "Could you send someone to tell Sasuke I won't be home for a few hours? I told him I was gonna be back soon when I left..."

I hope he's not gonna be mad at me.

The look on Tsunade-baa-chan's face softens a bit and she stands, laying a surprisingly gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Of course, Naruto. I'll send Kakashi and Sakura. I need to give him his hitai-ate again anyway."

"Kay, thanks." I give her a grateful smile and go back to where Obaa-chan is waiting for me. Flopping back in the chair, I look at her expectantly. "You said you wanted to ask me questions?"

----------****----------

*Sasuke's Apartment*

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It's been two hours. Where is he? He said he'd be right back. I stop myself from pacing in the kitchen again and settle at the table, burying my head in my folded arms. I shouldn't worry like this, but I can't help it. I tried to remember, for the last hour and a half, anything that I could about before Obaa-san's estate and couldn't come up with anything. I started to feel a headache and stopped. I'm lost as to what to do now.

"You look like you lost your favorite toy," a deep, amused voice drolls from directly behind me.

I start despite myself and then run a hand over my hair.

"I did," I mutter and add, "Hello, Kakashi-san. Do you know where Naruto is and what he's doing?"

I just want to know. It's not like I can go after him or anything.

"He's with Obaa-san at the Tower. She's helping him begin the process of reversing the merging he and the Kyuubi are going through."

Instantly, I feel every muscle relax. That's fine, then. Obaa-san will take good care of him.

"Good," I breath and then stretch. "What are you here for?" I ask with a grunt as I stretch the other way.

"To tell you Naruto's going to be a long while and to take you to the Tower. Hokage-sama wants to give you something." He sounds very cheerful, like he's the one getting whatever it is she wants to give me.

Weird old man. I stand and sigh. "Alright. Let's go. I've got nothing better to do," I murmur and turn to face him.

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Kakashi placed a guiding hand on Sasuke's shoulder and steered him out the door to where Sakura was waiting for him.

"I feel like taking the scenic route. Hokage-sama isn't expecting us for a while, anyway," he said cheerfully, grinning at Sakura. They were hoping that the more time Sasuke spent in the village proper, the faster he would regain his memories.

"It's a lovely day for a walk," Sakura agreed as she took up her place at Sasuke's right. The sun was warm on their heads and the wind was mild, but pleasant. The village was alive with the hustle and bustle of life. It was truly a beautiful day for a walk... Sakura cast Sasuke a sad glance. It was a shame that the Uchiha couldn't see it.

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I follow them willingly, glad to be out of the apartment when the weather is so nice. It's really comfortable outside. I miss Naruto, but the company of these two...really isn't so bad.

-----------

Just to see what kind of reaction he would get, Kakashi leaned down to murmur in Sasuke's ear, "So... How are you and Naruto getting along? He any good?"

The last time he'd visited the boys, he'd popped in on one of their make-out sessions. His ears were ringing for the next couple days, Naruto had yelled at him so loudly.

Sakura watched as Sasuke blushed right to the roots of his hair and began to stammer something of an answer. She felt pity for him for a moment and caught sight of the Ichiraku.

"Let's go get some ramen!" she declared and caught both Sasuke's and Kakashi's hands in each of hers and pulled them to the ramen stand. Sasuke looked so relieved she almost laughed.

Grinning at Sasuke's blush, Kakashi let himself be dragged and sat down on a stool, Sasuke between him and Sakura.

"Nothing for me, O-san," he said when the cook approached him. As Sakura ordered, Kakashi leaned closer to Sasuke and murmured, "Still waiting for an answer."

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Sakura lets out a gusty sigh and reaches across my front, right under my nose, and after a second I hear a sound snap. I'm confused as to where the sound comes from, but Kakashi laughs softly and Sakura chuckles and I can't help but smile a little. Whatever she did, it must have gotten her point across. O-san asks Sakura if I'll be having anything and I shake my head with a polite "No, thank you."

Actually, the company of these two is very nice.

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Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Kakashi pouted dramatically and muttered, "It's a valid question. I have to keep tabs on the doings of my favorite students, after all."

"I know you better than that, Kakashi. You're going to gather information and then "sell" it to Jiraiya-san so that you can get the first copy of the new ‘Icha Icha’ book. You can't fool me," Sakura responded primly and smiled at O-chan as the middle-aged man handed her the ordered bowl of ramen. "Why don't you ask something normal? Like how things are in general?"

"But things in general with these two involve those kinds of questions!" Kakashi protested, hamming it up just for fun.

"Hentai," Sakura grumbled, but she was smiling. Sasuke seemed content to just sit and listen to the two of them banter.

"So, have you gotten any mission requests lately, Kakashi?" she asked after a small silence. She was savoring her ramen. It wasn't her favorite, but things always looked better when she was with Sasuke. It was a miracle that he was back and well, and she was so very thankful that everything seemed to be working out for the better.

Huffing at being called a hentai, Kakashi folded his arms on the counter and rested his chin on them. "No, not for a while. Tsunade-sama's giving me a break. I'm going back to work next week."

"You look like you're pouting," Sakura observed with a smirk and leaned closer to Sasuke, whispering, "He's pouting... I think he's either a workaholic or a masochist. I haven't decided yet."

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I laugh a little and fold my arms on the table. These two...I wish I could remember them. I really do. Almost as much as I wish that I could remember - truly remember - Naruto. They seem like such wonderful people. They seem to genuinely care about both me and Naruto. It's so nice to know that I've got a support system if I should ever need it. It's comforting. Before, I was living day to day wondering if I'd find Obaa-san dead and have to send all of the kids away. Perhaps the Hokage here can help with that somehow so that the kids can all stay together. They're practically siblings, even if it isn't by blood.

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"You of all people should know I'm not a workaholic," Kakashi argued, smiling at Sasuke's laugh. It was wonderful to see him so happy and open, yet disconcerting at the same time. The Jounin had noticed how Naruto was steadily becoming more and more crestfallen with each passing day, and he knew it was because Sasuke had yet to regain his memories.

(I hope Naruto will be able to completely accept this Sasuke if it turns out he never does remember.)

"Late by five or six hours... yeah, you're just a masochist…and a sadist as well," Sakura stated with a smirk and finished off her broth. "Ready to go look around some more?"

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I stand and nod, my mind still stumbling over the 'late my five to six hours' comment. How can anyone be that late?!

"I am not a sadist!"

Sakura's immediate response as we walk out of the Ichiraku is, "Like hell you aren't! You told us not to eat, to be to the training grounds by five AM and then didn't show up yourself until ten or eleven o'clock! Then you told us one time – after being late by several hours – that you got lost on the road of life, so you never even have good excuses! What do you call that, hm?"

I laugh at them both. They're teasing each other and it's...well, it's kind of cute.

"I call that forgetting to set my alarm and not getting up until nine!" Kakashi counters, a laugh in his voice.

"What are you going to do when you aren't a ninja and don't have anything to be late for any more?" Sakura asks and I laugh even more at that.

"Pester you to have kids so I can torment them, too," I hear Kakashi answer in playful seriousness.

Sakura falls silent and I wonder why.

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(That was a little below the belt, Kakashi. Although, you probably didn't mean it that way.)

Sakura sighed. The only man she'd ever really looked at had been Sasuke. He was Naruto's now, and that left her with no one. She was getting to a point in her life where starting to date might prove difficult if it wasn't with another ninja who could understand her being out on missions all the time because they'd be doing the same.

Shaking her head a little, she put a smile back on and retorted, "And I'll make sure they're ten times more troublesome than I ever was, so that you'll have white hairs on that head of yours instead of silver."

"You've been spending too much time with Naruto. That sounds like something he would say," Kakashi chuckled, directing them towards the Tower. Tsunade hadn't specified a time for them to show up, but he had a feeling that if they didn't arrive soon, they would end up in trouble.

"Well, it would be your just deserts," Sakura replied with a saucy wink as she dodged a line of running children. Sasuke turned his head, tracking the kids by sound with a wistful smile on his face that Sakura had never seen before, had never thought she'd ever see. It was surreal.

Kakashi followed Sasuke’s 'line of sight' and smiled.

"Miss the kids?" he asked gently, remembering the flock of children at Obaa-san's house.

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I nod a little, and 'look' back to the front.

"A little," I answer and sigh. "But I'm happier here and this probably where I should be, so I'm fine. I'm going to talk to Tsunade-san about making sure they’re taken care of if anything happens to Obaa-san, though."

"Sounds like a plan." I can almost see him nodding in approval. "I know plenty of people here who would love to have children and are unable."

"Really?" That's great! The kids could come here, and maybe Obaa-san, too. Then I could make certain everyone was cared for and Obaa-san would get to see Ayame-chan a lot more often. "Do you think that Tsunade-san would be able to do something about it."

"I'm sure she would," he says confidently and I nod a little, my spirits definitely lifted as we walk through the doors of the tower.

"What is she giving me?" I ask as we turn down a hall. I hope it isn't anything...I don't know, expensive or odd.

-----------

Kakashi just smiled. "You'll find out soon enough." They reached Tsunade’s office and he knocked on the door.

"Kakashi! What took you so damn long?!" Tsunade bellowed as she stood and came around the desk. "I didn't say you could take all day! I have other things to do you know! I am the Hokage and I've got lots of paperwork and duties..." she trailed off as a muffled voice said something sharply from the other room. She glanced over at the closed door, but jerked her attention back when Sasuke spoke.

"Naruto and Obaa-san?" he asked. Tsunade sighed and nodded, but before she could say anything, the dark-haired youth was moving swiftly and gracefully in the direction of the door, following the sounds of voices.

----------

I don't bother to knock, simply pulling the door open once I find it. Obaa-san has never yelled at me for walking in on her sessions before, so I don't see a need to change what I do.

"Naruto?" I inquire, hoping to hear his voice. I'm clingy, I realize. Very clingy.

----------****----------

"Sasuke!"

I leap up out of my chair - ignoring Obaa-chan's protest - and go over to him, pulling him into a tight hug. "What are you doing here? You okay?" We've only been apart a few hours and yet I still feel an intense relief at having him in my arms. I hate being away from him when I don't want to be.

----------****----------

I cling to him and nod in the affirmative.

"Fine," I murmur and stay right where I am. I'm not pulling away until I have to. "Tsunade-san called me here to give me something."

"To give you these," I hear from behind me. I tilt my head so that I can hear her better and register the clinking of metal on metal muffled by cloth.

"What are they?" I ask, still not pulling away from Naruto.

"Your hitai-ate, Sasuke. You're still a ninja, until the day it's decided you can't be one any more. One's a bandana and the other is just like your old one. Which would you prefer?"

Why does it sound like she's asking Naruto and not me? Not that it matters, but still...

----------****----------

Why did she look at me when she asked that? It's not up to me as to which hitai-ate Sasuke uses. That's his decision. Fine, if she won't ask him which one he wants, I will.

"Which one to you want, Sasuke?" I murmur, pressing my nose to his temple.

----------****----------

I think a moment and then extend my hand backwards. "I'll take them both. I'll need the one that isn't a bandana soon enough, but for now, I'm going to wear the one that covers this scar and my eyes," I answer softly and frown a little when the weight of the heavier one sits in my palm. It feels off...but then there is more cloth.

It takes me just a second to stuff that one in my pocket and take the other one to do the same. I'm with friends, so my appearance isn't nearly as important as when I'm with strangers. As soon as I have the hitai-ate, I rewrap myself around Naruto. Obaa-san's quiet for a change, but then... I've never been so happy and she's the type to get enjoyment out of my happiness, so I’m not overly surprised.

----------****----------

I wonder if Obaa-chan will let Sasuke stay with me while she finishes her questions and starts teaching me exactly what she wants me to do. I've been getting more agitated by the hour without him next to me, which is probably why I let loose with that sarcastic comment before I could think, earning myself a swift reprimand. If he's here with me, I'll be able to concentrate better since I won't be worrying about him. Tightening my embrace, I glace over my shoulder at the old woman.

"Can he stay? Please?"

----------

"So long as you stop squeezing the life out of him, yes. He's sat through a few sessions like this, though not nearly this dire or intense. A chair, Sasuke-kun?" Obaa-san's voice was smiling like her lips.

----------****----------

"No, thank you. I'll sit on the floor," I answer. I'll sit at his feet, where I won't be in the way but won't be out of contact with him, either. It seems like the best solution to me.

-----------****----------

Kakashi smirked at the picture Naruto and Sasuke made, highly amused by just how clingy they were. Not that he could blame them. Naruto had almost gone insane upon losing Sasuke over the cliff, and Sasuke had good reason to cling to anything familiar.

"Let's go," he murmured to Sakura. He knew they were no longer needed.

The pink-haired girl nodded and followed Kakashi back out of the Tower as Tsunade resumed her seat behind her desk. Grandmother motioned for the boys to shut the door and sit down.

"Good, now that Sasuke is here, we can take more time," she stated, meaning that the more she drilled him on all the things she would be teaching him, the better off he'd be. "Take your seats, boys."

----------

I sit back down in my chair, my lips turned up slightly as Sasuke settles at my feet. I rest my hand on his shoulder and nod to Obaa-chan, indicating that I'm ready to continue. This ordeal will be a lot more bearable now that he's with me.

She nods in return and the lecture starts all over again, but this time, I've got Sasuke napping against my thigh.

----------****----------

*A Couple Weeks Later*

----------

What in hell-?! Ow! Mou, one minute I'm dead asleep and the next I'm rudely woken up by and elbow in the gut. Growling, I crack my eyes open to retaliate... when I notice that my bedmate is still asleep, and his sleep is anything but restful.

Cold sweat is beading on Sasuke's face, which is contorted in pain as he thrashes. He makes a small, frightened noise that just about scares the piss out of me. Shit, he's having a nightmare. I sit up and take firm hold of him and shake.

"Sasuke! Sasuke, wake up! It's okay; it's just a nightmare! Wake up!"

----------****----------

He's got me! I ran so hard and he still got me! Snake-bastard! (That isn't like me. What the hell?! Fight!)

"NO! Never again!"

I lash out without reservation and connect with someone's jaw. The reality of the connection snaps me awake and I find myself in total darkness. Disoriented, I sit bolt upright and about fall off the edge of the bed, but for the fact that Naruto - despite the fact that he's reeling a little from my strike - catches me. I cling to him then, desperate and trembling fiercely, and sob into his chest. That was the MOST frightening thing in my entire life.

(Gods, what was that guy!?) Sniffling, I inquire softly, "Naruto?" to make sure I have the right person even though I can smell him and hear his heartbeat. I want to hear his voice reassuring me.

----------****----------

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" I ask worriedly, ignoring the stinging in my jaw and holding him tightly. He didn't hit me too hard. ...But he did hit me. He didn't even realize it was me at first... and he has to ask to make sure it's me... Gods, what's happening to him? What did he mean by 'never again'? Is he drifting away from me? Does he not want to be with me anymore? What did he dream?! He's shaking like a leaf!

----------****----------

After a moment, I nod and slip my arms around his neck then murmur softly, "There was this thing, chasing me. It was pale and long, like a snake. It wanted me to go with it for something, but I turned and ran into the dark all around me instead... Gods, I can't stop shaking."

----------****----------

"Orochimaru," I snarl, pulling him closer. And here I'd hoped we wouldn't have to worry about the Snake Bastard. I noticed a long time ago that Sasuke had lost the curse seal - thank the Gods. Kakashi-sensei told me it probably disappeared because Sasuke had been clinically dead for a few minutes in the hospital they took him to right after finding him. I just about had a cat when he told me about that, too.

If that freak even dares come within a mile of my Sasuke, I'll gut him and wear his intestines as a belt!

----------****----------

I shake my head a little, rubbing my nose against his chest and snuggling up as much as I can. I want to crawl into Naruto's skin and stay there, where it's certain I'm safe. Things are calming down now. I'm not shaking as horribly as I had been and Naruto's warm. Yes, warm, and I still need sleep.

"Who?" I ask after I finally think I can trust my voice again.

----------****----------

"Forget it," I mutter, kissing his crown. "Go back to sleep. You're safe here, I promise."

I lay us back down and curl around him protectively. I don't want to talk about the Snake Bastard, especially not right now, and definitely not if it'll give him more nightmares.

----------****----------

After a moment, I nod and burrow up against him, satisfied that he's given me his vow that I'll be safe from whatever that thing was. I'm asleep again in no time, lulled by the beating of a loving heart right next to my ear.

----------****----------

Now wide awake, I clutch him to me and stare out the window, thinking. What brought about that nightmare? Why is Orochimaru the first thing he seems to remember, aside from me? Is the curse seal really still there, just hiding until he remembers? Will it come back when he does? What if the Snake Bastard comes looking for him while I'm out and gives him a new one or kidnaps him? Or both? Does Orochimaru know Sasuke's still alive? Did he somehow send the nightmare? ...Oh Gods, what if Tsunade-baa-chan can't fix Sasuke's eyes and he goes to the Snake Bastard when he remembers in hopes of being whole again?!

Frightened questions dance around in my mind until exhaustion finally carries me into sleep just as a false dawn appears over the horizon.

----------****----------

I wake slowly in the late morning. Naruto's sleeping soundly beside me, and it's comforting to feel him curled around me so protectively. The nightmare last night...I shiver to think about it, but I force myself to go over it.

I'd been in a forest filled with giant snakes and faceless, nameless enemy ninja. I don't know how I knew they were ninja but I did. Naruto and Sakura were there, but Naruto wasn't immediately in my presence for some reason while Sakura was somewhere above me. I guess she was in a tree, but then I think I was, too. I remember the vague impression of fighting, panic, terror and then that long white neck extending out to try and sink poisonous fangs into me. I turned and ran in the dream, and then the feeling of the back of my fist meeting Naruto's jaw woke me.

None of it makes sense, though I suppose all of it should. It felt so real while it was happening, up until I turned to run. A small part of me registered outrage and disgust, but it was so mixed up with my terror that I couldn't sort everything and it's all pretty vague now. Sighing, I tip my head up and start to kiss and nuzzle Naruto's neck. My internal alarm clock tells me that it's late morning for sure and we have to get up, bathe, and eat before he heads off for his early afternoon lessons with Obaa-san.

"Naruto," I murmur softly. "Naruto, we've got to get up and get moving."

"Mmmmunwanna," he mumbles, pulling me closer and rubbing his face in my short hair. His slow breathing tells me he's still dead asleep.

It's nice to be cuddled. I lay there for a few more minutes, basking in the warmth of his embrace, and then I try again.

"Naruto, Obaa-san's going to be upset if you aren't on time. Wake up so we can eat and bathe and you can go."

"No," he grumbles in sleepy stubbornness. I can tell he's slowly waking up by the steady quickening of his breath.

"Yes," I retort with a smile and start kissing his neck and jaw, nipping him occasionally to wake him up. He seems to like having his neck tormented, and I'm more than willing to do it. It's fun listening to him gasp and squirm intermittently.

"Wake." Nip. "Up." Nibble. "Naruto." Lick. My voice is low and husky. I have to admit that this turns me on as much as it usually does him.

"No," he grumbles again, this time pushing me away and rolling over so that his back is to me. Within seconds his breathing has slowed back down to a sleeping rhythm.

A sigh of exasperation escapes me and I shake my head a little. Ok, time to play a little rough. He has to wake up. I reach out and steal all the covers with a quick jerk once I find them all. That handled, I catch his shoulder, pull him onto his back and straddle his stomach. My palms find his cheeks and then I start a gentle patting rhythm there. Left. Right. Left. Right.

"Naruto," I insist much more firmly this time. "I know you're tired, but you have to wake up so we can get moving."

----------****----------

I was finally sound asleep, dammit, after hours of restless sleep. Cracking my eyes open just enough to glare at Sasuke, I grab his wrists and pull them away from my face.

"Stop that," I growl. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm pissed because he had a nightmare about the Snake Bastard, I'm frustrated for a very long list of reasons, and - most importantly - I'm TIRED.

Shoving Sasuke off me, I roll towards the edge of the bed and yank the covers back over me. "I'll get up when I damn well feel like it."

Did I mention I'm still annoyed that it took him a while to recognize me when I had to wake him up last night?

----------****----------

I stare in his direction for several minutes even though I can't see him. It hurts...like being rejected. Slowly, I crawl off the bed, so as not to disturb him further and then carefully head to the kitchen on my own. I can't tell what's what so it takes me a while to fix myself something to eat that doesn't involve the stove. Hito was always there to help with the cooking. I've never done it by myself before.

Sighing after a meager meal of cereal and orange juice, I head to the bathroom. It takes me a while to find my bucket and the soaps, but I manage, and after a quick wash down, I exit in a towel. Moving about the room as quietly as possibly, I gather boxers, shorts, shirt and hitai-ate, pulling them on before heading out to the living room. There, I stretch out on the couch and set my mind to wandering

----------****----------

Wonderful, now that he's woken me up, I can't get back to sleep... Doesn't help that I can hear everything he does no matter where he is in the apartment or how quiet he tries to be. This is great, just great.

Sighing loudly in frustration, I crawl out of bed and go wash my face to get rid of the gummy feeling in my eyes. I get dressed quickly and head to the kitchen, where I grab an apple for my breakfast. I don't feel like waiting for ramen and I want to be out of here as soon as possible.

"M'leaving," I call as I pull my sandals on, not really caring where he is since I know he can hear me. "I'll be back tonight."

Without even adding my usual invitation for him to join me in my lesson, I leave for the Tower. After last night, I just... Dammit, I hate my life.

----------****----------

I lay in silence after the door is shut and turn on my side. It's just not fair. I don't know what I did... I mean, he must not have gotten a lot of sleep last night, but at the same time, why is he taking it out on me? I let out a weary sigh and head into the bedroom to make the bed and neaten up as best I can. I have nothing else to do anyway.

----------****----------

*The Conference Room, A Few Hours Later*

----------

Naruto was distracted and irritable. That much was easy enough to tell immediately upon laying eyes on him. The old woman sighed and opted to say nothing unless it interfered with the lesson. At the moment, it was interfering. Naruto wasn't even trying to meditate. Tapping his crown roughly with the cane, Grandmother said sharply, "Stop. Right now. Look at me."

----------

Frowning, I open my eyes and rub my head. She didn't have to hit me so hard. Stupid old woman. I don't even want to be here, anyway. "What?"

"Something's wrong. Tell me what it is. If you want me to help you take care of that stupid Youma, you have to treat me as if I were a ‘you’ that doesn't know you. Tell me what's troubling you so much that you can't meditate today when you could meditate just fine the day before yesterday. What happened?"

She's adamant and her eyes are piercing despite the wrinkles and folds of skin that surround them.

Blink. Blink. A ‘me’ that doesn't know me? The hell? Am I not the only one having a bad day? That didn't make any sense at all. Scowling, I readjust my legs and close my eyes again.

"None of your business," I mutter, trying to meditate again. Key word is trying... my mind doesn't want to let go of all the worried questions that plagued me last night.

----------

Grandmother withheld her sigh and rapped him on the crown again.

"Don't ignore me, Naruto!" she snapped. Enough was enough. "What I mean is you have to tell me your fears, your doubts and anything else that unsettles you to the point that you can no longer meditate because that is not you. That is the fox. I can feel your Center and it is not as confused as your mind. You can't find your Center yourself because your mind is so confused, and the Kyuubi no Kitsune is doing nothing but hurting your progress and, of course, your mind. Now... be up front with me and we can stop this before it becomes a major problem."

----------

The fox? All those questions that wouldn't let me sleep last night came from my parasite? But... it's barely talked to me in over a month. How can it be hurting my mind if it isn't talking to me?

"What do you mean it's the fox? It hardly talks to me anymore. It's too busy healing itself."

"Just because your conscious mind doesn't hear it, doesn't mean it isn't still sending you thoughts and ideas. It's sabotaging your subconscious with fears and doubts. I've been watching it for a while, but I was hoping you would discover it for yourself during our sessions or your own. It's better than I thought, if you haven't realized that most of those doubts are groundless, whatever they are. So tell me right now. What is easiest to doubt in this moment?"

My subconscious? ...The rat bastard. Next time, I'm gonna rip its tongue out. If all of my doubts and fears are coming from it messing with my subconscious, I'm gonna make sure it can't talk to anything.

(Stop growling or I'll add your throat to the list.)

What's my easiest doubt? That's easy. "That Sasuke will never be himself again..." I murmur, looking down at my lap.

----------

The old woman smiled. She'd seen that one coming from a mile away.

"Don't worry about Sasuke. He'll have his memories back soon enough. I've been observing him from roughly day one, remember? His condition was barely progressing while he was with me. Now, he's healing at a much faster rate because of you and this place. Everything here is stimulating to his sleeping memories. You most of all. The more you address him as the old Sasuke, the more likely the old Sasuke will be to surface sooner. But remember that he's wounded and sensitive, unbalanced and easily cast around by your emotions. He clings to you because you're the closest thing to familiar that he has. Don't treat him differently while he's aware of it. You might push him away by confusing him."

She paused to let him think.

----------

This is... a lot at once. Easily cast around by my emotions? Don't treat him differently? Well, there's one strike against me right there. Remembering what she said about telling her everything, I take a deep breath and quietly, hesitantly voice my thoughts. "I've been treating him differently ever since he came back. ...Before that mission to the Sand, I kept pushing him away and resisted his attempts to make us more than friends. I-I was afraid of getting hurt." My hands fist the fabric of my pants. "Now... I'm doing the exact opposite. I keep him close to me, and encourage our being more than friends. Sometimes I'm scared that... that if I let go, he'll disappear."

She's silent, listening carefully. The words are flowing easier now. "But there are days - like today - when I don't want to be anywhere near him because it just hurts too much to look at him and remember... what he used to be like. This Sasuke is just a ghost, a shell, a fragment of a memory... I want the old Sasuke back."

----------

Grandmother moved close and laid a gnarled hand on the tall boy's shaking shoulder.

"It is ok to be afraid, Naruto. Ninja often forget that. Fear lets you know that you are still sensible. Still sane," she murmured softly, lifting that hand to pet his hair comfortingly for a moment before continuing and dropping that hand back to his shoulder. "Keeping him close to you will not harm him. Actually, it's helping him. My meaning, in saying 'do not treat him differently,' was to say that it will hurt him to change what he knows to be normal now. He is not the same person and does not remember that person right now, but he will remember eventually. His memories will most likely come back very gradually. It all depends on him...and on you."

She paused and finally let go of that sigh she’d been holding onto. It wasn't as charged as it would have been before however. She was pleased with the progress they were making. Admitting fears and doubts was the first step to overcoming them. Squeezing his shoulder, Obaa-san smiled into Naruto's face as she leaned the cane against her knee and caught his chin to make him look up.

"Sasuke's still in that mind. He's just surround by instinctual-response barriers, like the barriers I'm trying to teach you to make. He just doesn't have any control over them as you will. You learned today that the subconscious is a powerful tool of subversion, but it can also be used for some good. Try talking to him - the old Sasuke - while this one sleeps. He will come to you, if you give him something to follow. Like a blind person finding their way by following your voice. Reminisce and talk about the old times and tell him you miss him, but don't rush him. Do you understand?"

----------

I nod and look down again, my fingers fidgeting with my pant legs. Will talking to him while he sleeps really help, though? I - ARGH! (Bastard fox, shut! Up!)

I clench my fists in frustration. It will work! It will! I'll make it work! ...Gods, now I have to rethink everything and be careful those thoughts are really mine. Can't I get a break? Just this once?

"What did you mean by he's easily cast around by my emotions?" I ask Obaa-chan, lifting my head just enough to look at her out of the corner of my eye.

"He's sensitive right now. Very volatile. Unstable. His mind is likely a little confused some hours of the day or night still... You'll see it if he tunes the world out for a while, or doesn't immediately recognize you. His mind is trying very hard to repair itself, and at the same time he's probably putting a lot of effort into remembering himself. He used to try infrequently to recall little things when I worked with him, but he gave it up after about four months with no progress. Tell me, have you seen him meditating at all, lately?"

"Not a lot... just when I am, too. But I don't always know what he does while I'm not with him, so... he might do it more often than that."

Doesn't immediately recognize me? That's what happened last night. So that was his mind sort of trying to repair itself, and not him starting to distance himself from me.

...I am such an ass.

----------

Grandmother nodded. "He's smart enough to know what is sensible," she stated and then stepped back. "We can be done for today. I'm sure you need to think," she added in her ever quavering voice. "I will see you the day after tomorrow."

----------

"Yeah, see ya."

I bow slightly as I stand up and head down to the street. I'll walk home today, the long way. I really need to let everything she said sink in.

It's evening by the time I get back to Sasuke's apartment, calling, "Tadaima," as I pull my sandals off.

...No answer. Did he get kidnapped by Sakura and Kakashi-sensei again? ...Nope, he's asleep on the couch. Smiling wistfully, I kneel down next to the couch and fold my arms on the cushions, right next to his head. How long has he been asleep?

"Sasuke?" I call quietly, hoping he's at least a little awake.

----------****----------

He's back! My eyes fly open to the darkness my world exists in and I reach for him. I was starting to worry, and so I tried meditating again, but I must have dozed off. I can feel every ache from lying in one position for too long. Oh, sitting up isn't fun, but I do it anyway the minute his hand catches mine.

"How was it?" I ask immediately. I want to know why he took so long, but I'm a little afraid to ask, especially after this morning. Am I too overbearing, perhaps?

----------****----------

"It was okay. I learned the fox is even more of a bastard than I thought," I mutter, pulling myself up onto the couch and sitting next to him. I give his hand a squeeze, rubbing the back of it with my thumb.

"Uhm, Sasuke... about this morning..." I say quietly, watching my thumb as it goes back and forth on his pale skin. Hm, he's losing his tan. Probably from being inside most of the time now. "I'm sorry for being an ass. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

----------****----------

"It's fine," I assure him immediately and reach up slowly to find his cheek. "I shouldn't have pestered you like that. I mean, you obviously didn't get enough sleep and it was completely inconsiderate of me."

I'm just happy that he's with me again. After a moment of hesitance, I cuddle up to his side and rest my cheek on his shoulder. His scent fills my nose, and I breathe deeply.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" I ask after a moment of silence.

----------****----------

"We could go to the Ichiraku, or we could go pester Iruka-sensei into making dinner for us," I murmur, rubbing my cheek against his short hair. It's finally starting to look less like a buzz. I really hope he lets it grow out into the rooster tail again.

Very glad that he isn't mad at me, I let go of his hand to loop my arm around his waist, pulling him closer. His warmth and weight against my side is wonderfully relaxing, slowly chasing away the bad mood from this morning.

----------****----------

"You've been away all day," I murmur and cuddle up under his shoulder burying my face in his chest. My voice, thus muffled, comes out as if through a pillow. "We can visit with Iruka-sensei tomorrow...?"

I want him to myself for the night. Who knows when I'll have to give him over to his missions again? Obaa-san's probably not too far from done with him and he'll be able to go back to work soon. That's also something I learned about ninja. They're almost always at their Hokage's beck and call.

Murring happily as his scent assaults my olfactory nerve with renewed force, I clutch his shirt over his heart. I'm completely at ease again, unlike while he was gone. I was nervous and fidgety. I keep getting this feeling that I'm being watched, but I'm afraid to mention it for fear that they'll think I'm completely losing my mind or something.

---------****----------

"Okay," I murmur with a small smile, leaning my head down to nuzzle his temple. His clinginess is just adorable. I cover the paling hand on my chest with my own and squeeze it. "How about I make us ramen and onigiri, then? Real ramen, not the instant stuff."

I'm in the mood for Ichiraku ramen, but I can tell Sasuke wants to stay here, and I'm not gonna force him to go out when he doesn't want to. There's enough stuff in the kitchen for me to make ramen, and the meat needs to be used anyway before it goes bad.

----------****----------

I nod. Naruto's a surprisingly good cook, so eating his cooking is never as bad as I would have originally guessed.

"Can I help with the onigiri?"

I want to do whatever I can to be with him and help him, but I hope I'm not annoying him. As I lift my head I turn my face up to his, my lips parting ever-so-slightly as I inhale softly. I want him to kiss me, but I'm not sure that he wants to kiss me. I'm deathly afraid of pissing him off again. I really didn't take well to him yelling at me earlier at all. I don't think I could handle that again.

----------****----------

"Course. I think there's still some umiboshi left over from last week."

Pulling him closer, I press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth in another silent apology for snapping at him before. The tip of my tongue darts out to teasingly lick the spot where his lips meet, a wordless promise of more later. I'm not really in the mood for anything too serious, but I definitely won't say no to a good, long cuddle before bed.

"What kind of ramen do you want? We have beef and pork in the fridge. If you want shrimp, I'm gonna have to go buy some."

He smiles at the silent promise and nuzzles my chin. "Beef is fine," comes his soft answer.

I hum an agreement and tighten my embrace for a moment before standing up, his hand in mine, and leading him to the kitchen.

----------

*A Short Time Later*

----------

"So what did you do while I was gone?" I ask in quiet curiosity as I crawl into bed next to Sasuke after our dinner and a quick bath. "Besides sleep like a log on the couch," I add teasingly, draping an arm around his chest to pull him close. His hair's still damp, and there's a drop of water running down his face towards his ear. I lap it up with a quick flick of my tongue.

----------****----------

His nearness is like a balm on the still sore bruise his harshness left on me earlier this morning. His tongue against my face makes me shiver.

"I meditated and napped, but that was about it," I murmur softly and snuggle closer to him. My hand cradles his elbow over my stomach and until I turn towards him, which puts it over my waist instead. This is comfortable and relaxing.

----------****----------

Smiling, I rub noses with him as my hand caresses his back in small circles.

"Did you manage to remember anything?" I inquire, my voice hopeful. "Obaa-chan said you used to space out a lot and that she tried meditation with you to help you remember, but it didn't work. She also said you're healing a lot faster now that you're here in Konoha."

(With me.)

----------****----------

I let my eyes drop to his chest. I've found that he doesn't mind me “looking” at him most of the time, which is wonderful, but right now, I drop my gaze out of some habit I must have had for a while.

"No. I'm sorry. I tried. I've been trying," I whisper. It's disappointing, and I can't imagine what he's feeling. His hand is comforting and his breath on my lips is making me drowsy.

He sighs quietly and snuggles closer, nuzzling my cheek. "It's okay," he murmurs. "You're trying, that's the important thing. You'll remember someday. I know you will."

Encouragement instead of agitation? I smile broadly and burrow against him. He believes in me... I close my eyes and settle in for a long dose of cuddling until we fall asleep.

----------****----------

*Late That Night*

----------

Moonlight casts a pale, silver glow over the whole room. Sasuke's back is warm against my chest, keeping the night's cool at bay. His soft, steady breathing signals that he's in deep sleep. Time to try what Obaa-chan told me.

I lift my head and rest my lips against his ear. Feeling a little silly and yet so hopeful, I whisper, "Sasuke? Sasuke, it's me. It's Naruto. Can you hear me?"

He stirs a little, shifts closer to me and hums softly, never even nearing wakefulness. Encouraged, I tighten the arm I have draped over his waist and whisper again. "Sasuke, can you hear me? I know you're in there somewhere. ...Oi, ice bastard, show yourself."

This time there is no response. He continues to sleep peacefully as if I've said nothing.

I keep whispering for what feels like hours, never getting a response larger than a shift or a sleepy sigh. Feeling crestfallen, I give up and go to sleep, my face burrowed into the back of his neck.

----------

*Two Days Later *

----------

Nothing. Two nights of talking to him and nothing's happened. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I'm saying the wrong things? What if I'm pushing him deeper into his mind?

----------

"Naruto!" Grandmother commanded his attention for the third time and still got nothing. With a heavy sigh, she hit him upside the head with her cane. "What's bothering you this time?" she asked, feeling the ache of age it her bones. It was going to rain and she was very irritable, although she would try to hold it in.

----------

"Ow!" Oops, forgot where I am. Rubbing my aching head - she always hits the same spot, stupid old crone - I frown. "I've been trying what you told me to do with Sasuke, talking to him in his sleep, and it isn't working," I mutter dejectedly.

----------

Grandmother snorted. "This village was not built in a day. He is lost in the dark, Naruto. You have to talk to him until he wanders close enough to hear you. He might already hear you. He just needs to figure out which way to come. There are little things you can watch for, like shifts and sighs, attempts to speak or reflexes, even rapid eye movement can tell you that he's responding. His pulse and heartbeat will do the same. Be patient with him. He has a long road to recovery. Now stop worrying about the Uchiha for ten more minutes and do your exercises!"

----------

Shifts and sighs, huh? I've been getting plenty of those, but I think they're mostly from me disturbing his sleep. Scowling at being ordered, I shift in my chair to get comfortable again and take a deep breath, closing my eyes. I start the exercise over, reaching for my Center...

-----------

*That Night*

----------

Today has just not been my day. Yelled at by Obaa-chan for getting distracted, then snapped at by Tsunade-baba because the nobles won't get off her case about putting me back in the cell. It's not my fault they're all bastards! Huffing quietly in annoyance, I try to focus on washing Sasuke's back instead of my bad day.

----------****----------

"Naruto? Is everything ok?" I ask softly after the silence has stretched for far too long. He's been watching me very closely lately. I feel his eyes tracking my every movement. It's nice to know he cares, but I wonder what's changed that he feels the need to watch me so closely. Is he beginning to size me up to see if I'm worth keeping around? Gods, I hope he isn't getting tired of waiting. He was so encouraging just the other night.

I turn my head so that my right ear is catching his voice directly... if he answers me. He zones out sometimes lately.

----------****----------

"Yeah... no."

My hands stop on his hips and I watch as suds slowly make their way down his back.

"I asked Tsunade-baba when she thinks she'll be able to heal your eyes and she snapped at me. The nobles are barely giving her any time to deal with anything other than their asinine whining. They all want me put back in the cell. Junichiro-bastard still wants me dead."

I sigh loudly and start washing again. "Doesn't help that I have an egg on the side of my head where Obaa-chan hit me with her cane again."

----------****----------

I'm quiet for a long moment, contemplating what I should do. Really, it should be kind of simple. I should just turn around and hug him, right? But why does that thought stir some deep resistance in me all of a sudden. After a moment's debate with this sudden sensation, I do turn around and reach out for him, pulling him close.

"I won't let them put you back in that cell, and Obaa-san only hits you when you deserve it," I smile and nuzzle the side of his neck. "Try to put all aside for right now? Please?"

----------****----------

He paused before hugging me. That's definitely a good sign that he's starting to be himself again! Maybe whispering to him at night really is working! My spirits lifted a bit, I give his shoulders a squeeze.

"Okay. Now turn back around so I can finish," I add, slapping the side of his rump playfully.

----------****----------

Resisting the strangely fierce urge to slam my fist down on the top of his head, I turn and present him with my back again. I think I cheered him up a bit. Smiling, I wait for him to finish so we can hop into the tub for a soak since I already did his back.

----------****----------

I finish scrubbing down his back quickly and rinse the suds off, nipping the back of his neck once he's clean.

"Into the tub, you."

Will he ask for help or insist on doing it himself?

----------****----------

I rise without thinking and move in the general direction of the tub, stopping once my foot bumps the side. Alright. I can do this, this time. Carefully planting my hands on the edge of the tub, I lean most of my weight on my arms and lift my leg, swinging it over the edge of the tub. Once my leg’s in the water, I lean against the wall and bring my other leg in before carefully lowering myself down. There. I did it and I didn't need help.

I can't help the feeling of smug satisfaction, or the slight curl of it displayed on my lips.

----------****----------

Grinning, I hop up and go over to kneel next to the tub. It has been working! He's becoming his old self again! Score!!

"Aw, how cute, he's growing up!" I chirp, dropping a hand on his head and rubbing as if he were a little kid. Too bad he doesn't have enough hair to muss.

He laughs a little and pushes my hand away.

"Stop picking on me and get in here, baka," he demands playfully and tugs on the hand he had pushed away. That's not like old Sasuke at all, but at least we're making some progress.

I chuckle and slide into the warm water next to him. Two out of three is definitely a good thing. It means we're making progress. Pulling him snug against my side, I sigh in contentment and relax. No matter how bad my day has been, relaxing next to Sasuke in the tub is always a good thing.

"Love you," I murmur, hoping the old Sasuke sleeping in the back of his mind hears me, too.

----------****----------

"Love you, too, Naruto," I whisper and cuddle up to him. The steamy water is making me sleepy. Last night, my mind was restless and foggy. There weren't any concrete dreams, but there was something hovering on the edge of a not-quite dream that really seemed to want to come in. It was a weird sensation that I can't barely remember. It doesn't matter anyway. I can sleep now...

"Hey, are you falling asleep on me?" he murmurs, playfully poking me in the stomach. Apparently, his bad mood is fading fast. I grunt softly and catch his hand, lacing our fingers together.

"'M tired. Carry me?" I mumble not really wanting to pull myself up from falling asleep.

----------****----------

"How can you be tired when all you did today is sit around?" I tease, slipping my free arm beneath his legs to lift him up. His face is beautiful in half-sleep, even with the dead eyes, and I want to kiss his sleepiness away. When he's completely himself again, will he let his masks down when it's just the two of us?

"My body was still...but my mind wasn't," he mumbles and closes his eyes, curling up in my arms contentedly.

"Mm." Kissing his eyelids, I stand up and carry him out of the tub. I set his feet down on the cool tile, my arm around his waist to support him as I gently dry him with a soft towel.

"I don't have lessons tomorrow. Is there anything you want to do?"

We haven't gone out in a while and I want to do something with him outside of the apartment.

----------****----------

I lean heavily against him and smile softly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pressing my cheek to his body beside the clavicle.

"We could go shopping again. We need to restock the cupboards. I noticed this morning." I kiss his shoulder softly and turn my face into his neck, sighing.

(It doesn't matter what we do, so long as we're together...)

----------****----------

"Yeah, I noticed too. Food shopping it is, then."

Done drying us both, I lift him into my arms again and carry him to the bedroom. Not bothering to get us any clothes, I set him down on the bed and lay down on top of him, using his shoulder as a pillow. The feel of his body beneath mine is blissful and I smile. My mind is wonderfully silent, the fox hidden behind a thick mental wall, Sasuke's heartbeat is quietly soothing in my ears, and his warmth is dragging me into sleepiness with him. Heaven.

He wraps his arms around me and buries his nose in my hair. "Thank you, Naruto," he whispers into my hair, his voice content, relaxed and warm.

"Hm, fr'what?" I murmur, shifting a bit to get more comfortable. Our legs are just a tangled mess now. Always a good thing.

"For being my everything."

Smiling, I lift my head and stretch to kiss his mouth. "I should be the one thanking you, not the other way around," I whisper against his lips. If it weren't for Sasuke, I probably would have never known true friendship and I definitely would never have experienced love.

----------****----------

Smiling, I hold him tighter. It's wonderful to have someone that seems so familiar. It's the best thing to happen to me in a long time. Or at least in my memory. I wish I didn't have to think about things in those terms. But I won't think about that right now. Right now, I'm going to focus on him and only him.

"What have you got to thank me for?"

"For being my friend, for being bullheaded enough to keep me sane, for letting me love you, for loving me, for giving my life meaning when I thought it didn't anymore... Tons of things. Everything." He kisses me once more and drops his head back to my shoulder. I hear and feel him sigh softly in contentment.

"Oh… There's no reason to thank me for what's very freely given."

After a little bit of silence, I say softly, "Good night, Naruto." It's a wonderful night and this makes it all the better. I close my eyes and let myself drift towards sleep.

----------****----------

"Night, Sasuke," I whisper, gladly following him into sleep.

----------

It's still dark when I wake up. Moonlight... it's probably just after midnight. Sasuke's sound asleep, meaning it's time to talk to him again. Maybe I'll actually get a real reaction tonight! Hopeful, I stretch my neck until my lips are against his ear and whisper, "Sasuke. Sasuke, it's me. Are you there?" I'm not really expecting anything right off the bat, but it certainly can't hurt to ask.

He murrs a little and shifts, turning his face towards me slightly. A soft sigh and he stills again.

That's a good start. Sometimes he doesn't do anything when I first call. "Hey, guess what TonTon did today? You remember TonTon, right? Tsunade-baba's pig?"

There isn't any response to that. His face remains slack in the relaxation of sleep and his breathing remains very slow and even.

"Well, Tsunade-baba left her office to go get something, and TonTon climbed up onto her desk to eat the lottery tickets she was hiding under some important documents. Shizune-san had to save the littler porker."

I chuckle and curl up a bit, getting comfortable again. We shifted around some in our sleep and his knee was cutting off circulation in my thigh.

"I've never heard that pig squeal so much."

Still sleeping peacefully, Sasuke? Lazy ass. He still isn't stirring much...but my ears... Is it just me, or has his heart rate picked up a little bit?

Hoping the increase in heart rate is from him responding to my voice rather than him waking up, I keep whispering into his ear.

"I saw Kakashi-sensei today. He's all excited 'cause there's another ‘Icha Icha’ movie coming out soon. Remember when we were kids and we tried everything we could to see his face, and he saw the movie poster back then? He acted like that all over again. It was crazy."

The very corner of his mouth turns up a little more into a damn near perfect imitation of the old Sasuke's kindly smug-bastard smile, but that's the only response this time.

And it's the best response I've gotten since I started this. Grinning, I continue with, "Yeah, Sakura was trying so hard not to laugh the whole time. ...Actually, she's been hanging out a lot with him lately. I almost always see them together whenever I see them, which is usually in the evening. What do you think? Think there's something going on between them?"

The smirk slowly leaves his lips as he sighs and settles more deeply into sleep, losing the little bit of expression his face had to the slackness of sleep once more.

"No, huh? Yeah, I don't think so either." Yawning, I burrow into him. "Mm, don't let me forget to buy rice tomorrow. There isn't enough left for even one onigiri."

He still doesn't respond or even twitch. I guess that's all I'm getting out of him tonight. It was better than nothing, that's for sure, and the best I've gotten so far.

Another yawn just about tears my face in two. Man, I want to keep talking and get another reaction, but I guess I really wore myself out today. Oh well. I still managed to get something tonight.

"Night, Sasuke," I whisper. "Come home soon..."

----------****----------

*The Next Afternoon*

----------

"Naruto!" Iruka called from down the hall as Naruto stepped out of the Hokage's office. "Want lunch? It'll be my treat. We haven't eaten together in a while."

The older man approached and rubbed the side of his nose a little. He looked pleased to have caught Naruto.

----------

"Only if you take me to the Ichiraku and buy me all the bowls I can eat," I answer with a cheeky grin, more than glad to hear the familiar offer. I haven't seen Iruka-sensei in ages, and seeing him now only makes this day better. Breakfast was fun, Obaa-chan didn't yell at me, Tsunade-baa-chan might finally be winning against the bastards, and now Iruka-sensei's offering me lunch. Yep, good day.

----------

Iruka grinned himself and nodded.

"For time with my favorite student? How could I refuse," he answers and followed Naruto out of the Tower. They settled on stools at the Ichiraku and Iruka summoned O-chan over with a friendly smile. "Miso pork for me and whatever Naruto wants," he ordered politely.

----------

"Miso pork for me, too. And I'm gonna need a large shrimp to go when I'm done." Knowing how long my lunches with Iruka-sensei can be, it'll probably be dinner time by the time I get home and Sasuke will be hungry for something other than fruit from the bowl on the kitchen counter.

"So what have you been up to lately?" I ask sensei as O-chan starts making our orders. "Still torturing your students?”

----------

"Torture's such a strong word, Naruto," Iruka scolded and sighed. "No, the students are very serious about their studies. This bunch was imprisoned by the mess with Orochimaru. They're very serious. How are things with you and Sasuke? How is he?"

Naruto was looking much better than he had the even the last meeting they'd had, which hadn't been all that long ago.

----------

I just grin and drink my water. Sasuke's doing very well, although I won't be surprised to find him napping when I get home. He’s been putting a lot of effort into meditating. I hope he got around to putting the groceries away.

----------

Iruka smirked a little. Naruto looked very happy and very distracted. It was absolute wonderful to see the boy look so alive again. He'd been getting unnervingly depressed and melancholy before his trip to the Sand and now...well, he had his Sasuke back and that had always been enough to pick him up and keep him moving. Naruto just responded that way to the last Uchiha for some reason. Lately, that reason was becoming more and more clear.

"Naruto?" Iruka prompted softly and shivered as a cold chill trekked down his spine at the same instant that a cloud drifted over the sun, dulling the day significantly and chilling the air for a brief moment.

"Hmm?" Naruto hummed, his eyes distant.

"How's Sasuke? Is he well, or getting any better?" Iruka repeated, adding a little more detail to catch Naruto's attention. "How are you handling all of this?" It was obvious to anyone that Naruto was like a little brother to the school teacher, even though Naruto wasn't so little any more. Iruka cared about all of his students, but Naruto held a special place in his heart.

----------

Oh, he's getting better alright. ...Wait, not what sensei meant. Focus, Naruto, or you won't get any ramen.

"Yeah, he's getting better," I say with a grin. "He's slowly becoming his old self again. Really slow, but some progress is better than none."

----------

Iruka nodded.

"That's good to hear, Naruto. How are you, though? Are you holding up alright now?"

The school teacher knew he could be a little bit of a mother hen, but Naruto was in a rough spot in his life and he needed to know that the support was there. The cloud passed and the warm sunlight struck the world once more, it's brilliant light illuminating the world outside in a fuzzy, hazy aura.

----------

"Yeah, I'm okay. Obaa-chan's showed me how to keep the fox from playing mind games with me, so I'm actually thinking my own thoughts again instead of what the damn parasite wants me to think." At least, that's what I hope. I've gotten really good about putting the mental wall up, but I definitely need to work on making sure there aren't any leaks in said wall. Those "veins" Obaa-chan showed me, the ones I can't cover up, definitely don't help.

Iruka-sensei nods. "That's very good, Naruto. It must be a relief," he states and smiles at me before putting more noodles in his mouth.

"You have no idea. Itadakimasu!" I dive into my ramen with a relish. Oohh, O-chan outdid himself again. Yum! One of these days, I will steal his recipes! "So, what about you?" I ask around a mouthful. "You still haven't told me what you've been up to besides playing the evil teacher."

"There isn't much to tell, really. Things have lightened up, and I haven't had to go out on missions lately. It's a relief, being with the kids more than being out in the field. The students this year are dedicated and brilliant even if they are a little too serious, like I said. My life must seem pretty calm compared to yours, now." He pauses as though he's uncertain about how to say what he's thinking, but he continues almost instantly. "I'm so proud of you, Naruto. You've... come a long way."

He's... proud of me? My chopsticks pause on their way to my mouth as I give him a surprised look. I haven't heard someone say that to me in years, since before I started to seriously merge with the fox. I didn't think I'd ever hear it again. What have I done for him to be proud of?

----------

Iruka looked down into his bowl for a moment and then looked back to Naruto, casting him an almost embarrassed smile.

"You look surprised, and I suppose it's partially my fault that you feel that way. Kakashi-san, Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-sama, too... but that's not really for me to say. I haven't told you enough how proud I am of you and all that you've done to this point. You've been through more than any one person should ever have to go through."

Glancing away for a moment, Iruka gathered himself a bit and then turned on his stool to face Naruto fully, reaching out to ruffle the blond's messy spikes.

"You'll make a fine Hokage someday, Naruto. When you think you're ready to take up that dream of yours again," he said finally. It was with a smile that was encouraging and affectionate all at once.

----------

Hokage... My chopsticks make it to my mouth as my gaze drops to the steaming bowl. I gave up on the dream of being Hokage a long time ago. I'm actually still planning to leave this village entirely once Sasuke's completely healed, with or without him. The treatment I get from the villagers is still awful, and my year trapped in a cell definitely didn't help their attitude towards me. I hear a lot of them whispering about how they just wish Tsunade-baba would follow the nobles' orders and lock me up again. I love this village and I love all my friends, but there's only so much abuse even I can take. As soon as I know Sasuke's gonna be alright, I'm leaving. Dunno where I'll go and I don't really care so long as it's far away from the Fire Country.

Finished with my bowl, I hold it up and ask O-chan for seconds.

----------

Iruka was quiet for a moment and then turned back to his noodles completely. After a quiet moment in which only the sounds of slurping could he heard, Iruka murmured, "You'll find your path again, Naruto. I believe in you and so do your friends. You'll believe in yourself again... someday. Soon."

----------

I believe that he believes in me, but I somehow can't see anyone else believing in me, with the exception of Sasuke.

A sudden chill races down my spine, leaving behind an intense feeling of dread. ...Sasuke. Something's wrong.

"I need to go home. Thanks for the ramen, Iruka-sensei," I say quickly before running out of the stand, not giving him a chance to answer. My whole body is cold despite the day's warmth. For once, I hope my instincts are wrong. Sasuke, be okay!

----------****----------

*The Apartment*

----------

The air against his skin was chill, but comfortably so. He’d been too warm of late, he realized, but it wasn’t the kind of warm that touched the skin. It was something a little deeper than that. He brushed the vague idea aside almost instantly, as if shying away, in favor of peeling open his eyelids and sitting up.

As his lashes parted, he felt a sense of awe steal over him. Flooding his vision, the rippling moonlight spilled over a tranquil meadow, cast in shades of green-gray and black and haloed in pale silver, lending a calming glow to everything. The dark colored grass all about him was lush, but still. The trees were also oddly still as they surrounded the meadow like a sturdy fortress wall enclosing a pocket of serene solitude amidst the chaos of the black abyss he could just make out beneath their branches.

It was a surprise at first, but then… hadn’t he been here before? Bringing himself slowly to his feet, Sasuke looked more closely at his surroundings. A glimmer to his left and the faint but musical note of water plopping into water drew him to the edge of a small pond. Peering down into the still water, he was surprised to see nothing at first. Not even his own reflection or that of the full moon above him. But then things began to move within the water. Darker shadows within the murk that moved and blurred. Sound came, but it was muffled and garbled. Sasuke squinted and peered into the water, trying to make some sense of whatever was within. It seemed that the harder he looked, the clearer the images became, and the more audible the noises were. Things were beginning to look more and more like images of people when the pond suddenly rippled, destroying the effect.

Startled, Sasuke cried out softly and reached for the water to calm it, but he jerked his hand back in fright when his reflection suddenly appeared before him, clear behind the glass of the surface with all the now-empty murk behind it. The image was a gorgeous rendition of him, with long bangs that framed his face like glossy black wings and piercing eyes as deep as a lightless night. Behind those dark eyes was a ferocity and passion that Sasuke hadn’t ever felt before. He felt dull in comparison, but he didn’t have time to contemplate because the figure’s mouth was moving. Leaning closer hesitantly, Sasuke tipped his head a little trying to hear, but it was soft and garbled.

His ear was almost to the surface of the water when the pond rippled violently again causing him to jerk away with a gasp. The image in the pond was murky now, but the voice was clearer than anything he’d heard before.

“Wake up!”

----------

I wake slowly to a crick in my neck. The couch... Sighing, I roll off and get to my feet, staggering towards the bedroom. If I'm going to sleep, I might as well be comfortable. Vaguely, my mind tells me I was dreaming, but as usual, I don’t remember a bit of it. Just some vague sensation of urgency and that’s it. Weaving a little with drowsiness, I reach out a hand to make sure I don't run into anything and rub at my eye. I hope Naruto isn't out much longe-omf! Who-?

I freeze and pat whatever is in front of me. The chest is flat, so it's a he...

"Who-?"

"What have you done to yourself, otouto?" a cold, flat voice states. There is an incredibly faint note of disdain hiding behind the emotionlessness.

I move away instantly. I don't know him and he sounds...very, very dangerous. My knees are shaking from just that one question! Taken aback by the aura this person - this stranger - gives off, I stumble backwards a few more steps.

"Who are you and what are you doing in here?"

(Naruto... come home. Now, please.)

"You know very well who I am and why I am here." I didn't think the voice could get colder, but it just did. Now there's disgust in it, too. "Again, what have you done to yourself? You will never be able to kill me like this."

The quiet, almost inaudible shuffle of cloth tells me that, whoever this is, he’s following me, not letting me get farther away.

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

I spin, making a dash for the door on the very heels of the question. I'm trying to throw him off by turning almost mid-sentence and running for the door. I don't come anywhere near making it. He's in front of me in a heartbeat. A ninja...Oh, this is bad. He's annoyed now. I can tell.

(Naruto, where are you?!)

Scrabbling up from where I'd landed on my butt on the floor, I regain my feet and bolt for the kitchen. He's there too. I turn, bump a chair and send it flying, regain my balance and crash into a wall with my shoulder.

For an instant, the strange, terrifying presence looms over me. I push off the wall and try to get around it, but I bump another chair that trips me up and sends me into the table edge stomach first. Pain flares where the larger scars are not completely healed as the wind is knocked from my body.

Sucking it up, I push off the table and run blindly for the bedroom. I make it there, but the man is before me again and I stagger back from his overwhelming presence, my raging heart in my throat. It isn't like Naruto to leave his clothes lying around, but I know I didn't leave that pair of boxer shorts there. Nonetheless, I trip and end up on my butt again. This time I blindly scramble on my hands and knees, desperate for an exit. I can't breathe and my heart is beating so fast it almost hurts. I'm shaking... 'This guy wants to kill me,' just keeps looping through my head and I whimper when I feel his presence fall over me while I scramble towards the balcony doors.

"Pathetic."

I can almost see him sneer. His footsteps are coming closer. I can't get away, not with my back against the glass! I'm trapped!

"You have let yourself grow soft, Sasuke. What happened to your hatred? Your desire to kill?"

I whimper, but he keeps coming. I try to press myself into the glass and feel a low, keening whine rise in my throat as I turn my face away from him. I'm going to die. I know he's talking, but I'm not picking it up. All I know is that he's not happy with me and he feels like he might just kill me for it. I can't speak, I can hardly breathe, I can't go anywhere. I’m shaking fiercely and trying to make myself as small a target as possible, not that will probably do me any good.

"ITACHI, YOU BASTARD, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!!!" another voice roars from the direction of the doorway, accompanied by a high whistling sound.

I cower, instantly curling up on myself. Another one! But...this one's...is it Naruto?! I'm not sure so I stay defensive and just like I am.

----------****----------

What the hell is he doing here?! Red licks at the edge of my vision at the sight of Sasuke curled into a defensive ball with Itachi-bastard looming over him. I WILL KILL HIM!! Roaring wordlessly, I leap into an attack before he even turns around, twin Rasengan swirling brightly in my palms. He will leave this apartment in pieces or not at all!!

The sound of shattering glass just barely registers. The same with the quickly-healing cuts on my hands. I'm busier watching as the biggest bastard on earth bounds away. Snarling, I jump after him, running as fast as I can.

Damn, I can't get within thirty feet of him!! He's too fast!! And he's dodging all the chakra I throw at him!!

We're almost out of the village when he suddenly stops and turns around, just as I was about to resort to Kage Bunshin and use my clones to throw myself forward. Not one to waste an opportunity like this, I form twin Rasengan again without even a pause in my running.

Damn, dodged again!!

"Why are you defending that worthless excuse for a ninja?" he asks calmly, evading my attacks - even my chakra spears, which the Sharingan aren't supposed to be able to see!! - as if this were some fucking DANCE!!

"HE'S WORTH A HUNDRED OF YOU!!" I roar, building the largest Rasengan I can and aiming for his chest.

NO!! SHIT!! He vanished!! I can't feel his presence anywhere!! ...Sasuke!! Feeling a fresh wave of panic, I whip around and race for home.

----------****----------

There's another presence, but this one...I sit up the moment he re-enters and reach out.

"Naruto," I gasp softly, desperate to have my hands on him, for his reassurance, for his protection.

I'm trembling uncontrollably, my breathing is rapid and harsh, and I can barely stay coordinated enough to actually sit up and reach for him. I don't know where he is, but I do know that he isn't directly in front of me - there! I claw at his shirt, trying to crawl inside him as he kneels beside me this instant. I have never felt this terrified in my entire life. I sob and my shaking gets worse. I can't calm my heart down, so I cling more fiercely.

----------****----------

"Sasuke, gods, he didn't do anything to you, did he?!"

I demand, clinging to him with equal force. I don't smell any blood on him. Even if there was, I don't think I'd be able to smell it over the reek of terror.

"Did he do anything to you?!" I demand again when he doesn't answer, my voice desperate for reassurance that he's okay. Gods... I want the old Sasuke back!! He wouldn't be cowering like this, too terrified to be coherent! I wouldn't have found him cowered on the floor in front of Itachi, I would have had to step into the middle of a fight! Right now I should be holding him back while he tries to follow his brother, not clutching a frightened wreck! When will things be normal again?!

He shakes his head once, barely, and lets out another broken sob. He's really shuddering, the scent of terror refusing to dissipate. He's hyperventilating and clinging to me like he's trying to merge our bodies by sheer physical force. He needs help.

I scoop him up into my arms and leap out the shattered balcony door, praying Tsunade-baa-chan can do something, anything to help him.

----------

*The Tower*

----------

"No, Junichiro-san. I won't do that. There is no more reason to lock Naruto away in that cell. I've explained this to you many times. The demon fox is fully contained again, thanks to Obaa-san here and..."

Tsunade had been trying to show patience that she no longer had and was slowly explaining things in a manner that Junichiro still wouldn't understand (He wouldn't understand anything because nothing I say suits his purposes, the little idiot...) when a great amount of chaotic noise began to filter through the door. Tsunade was mostly to her feet, ready to defend the nobles or destroy the interloper when Naruto burst through the door, a violently trembling Sasuke clutched to his chest like an infant.

"Naruto!" she rushed around her desk as he moved into the room. "What happened?"

----------

Stupid guards, trying to keep me out! I hope their broken arms never heal!

"Itachi - GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!" I roar at a noble that tries to get between me and Tsunade-baa-chan. He scurries away in fright. "Itachi was here!! I can't tell if he did anything to Sasuke!! I chased him to the village's border, and then he just disappeared!!" I explain in a rush, holding Sasuke as still as I can so she can look him over.

"You let Uchiha Itachi escape?"

I oughta rip his throat out for using that condescending tone.

"He got away," I snarl, glaring murderously at my lord bastard. I want to claw that superior look off his face!

"So you are incompetent. Not only are you a danger to this country, you are a worthless ninja."

----------

Eyes blazing with a terrible fury, Tsunade turned and faced the Noble Brat squarely.

"Junichiro! Uchiha Itachi is not to be taken lightly. YOU cannot do anything about him, nor can I! Naruto is NOT to blame here!" she snarled. "You have wasted more than enough of my time and this," she gestured wildly at Sasuke, "should have been taken care of long before now! Get OUT! ALL OF YOU!" Tsunade's roar shook the walls and she advanced on them by one deadly step. She could, if she chose, bring the whole tower down on them.

Ever the stubborn spoiled idiot, Junichiro stood his ground even as his companions fled the room as quickly as their robes allowed them. He puffed angrily at the lack of respectful tag on his name.

"You will address me as Junichiro-sama, woman! And I am not finished with you!"

She had him by the front of his robes before he knew she had moved any closer. In the next instant, he was shoved into the hallway.

"Don't come back again until I call for you." With that order, Tsunade slammed the doors so hard that the ceiling cracked and bits of it crumbled to the ground on her side and onto Junichiro's head on the other. She approached Naruto again and slipped her arms beneath Sasuke's body.

"Let me have him, Naruto. I can't help him like this," she coaxed gently, trying to take Sasuke's weight from the other blond. Obaa-san had disappeared, though she had been in the chair near Tsunade's desk moments ago.

----------

I don't want to let Sasuke go... I don't! But she can't help him if he's curled up against me... Reluctantly, I loosen my hold on him and let Tsunade-baa-chan take him from me, gently prying his fingers off my shirt.

"It's going to be okay, Sauske, I promise," I murmur to him, trying to calm him down.

----------

"Come on. We'll take the service route."

Tsunade pushed into the conference room connected to her office and then through another door in the back. It led to a stairwell that took them down and outside.

Tsunade picked up the pace, Naruto moving right beside her with his hand still in Sasuke's, her healing chakra doing its very best to relax Sasuke's muscles. They just wouldn't stop contracting. He was absolutely petrified, frozen with fear, and yet shaking so badly she was afraid he was going to shudder himself to pieces. Reaching the hospital, Tsunade burst through the front doors. She was greeted by Genma, who motioned her to follow him. The old woman must have found him and sent him ahead because there was no way Obaa-san could have moved that quickly on her own.

Following Genma, they made it to a room that was prepped and ready. Tsunade paused once in the doorway.

"Stay out here, please, Naruto. I'll let you in when I'm done. I promise he'll be alright." She waited, her eyes on his never wavering, silently urging him to concede quickly.

"But I want to be in there with him!" Naruto protested, his blue-violet eyes desperate and worried as his hand clutched Sasuke's tighter. "Please, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

"Naruto, assess yourself for one second. You'll be a wreck either way, but at least out here, you won't be in my way. Please."

----------

Biting my lip, I drop my gaze back down to Sasuke. I want to stay with him, but I know being in her way can be a very bad thing, especially if it means it takes her longer to help him. Dammit. Leaning down, I brush my lips against his ear and whisper, "I'm gonna leave you with Tsunade-baa-chan. You're gonna be okay, Sasuke, I promise. I'll be right here outside the door if you need me."

----------

Satisfied that Naruto wouldn't follow her, she stepped into the room and closed the door. After a short while, Grandmother brushed past a pacing Naruto and into the room as fast as her wobbly old legs and cane could carry her.

Then there was nothing but silence.

----------

Junichiro strode into the hospital with his comrades in tow in search of Tsunade, determined to give her a good reaming out for being so disrespectful towards him. Looking down his nose at everyone in that way only a noble can, he demanded of the doctors to take him to where the Hokage was. He wasn't surprised to find Naruto pacing back and forth in front of the door, muttering things to himself. In Junichiro's eyes, Naruto looked like a predator waiting for its prey to drop its guard. This was a prime opportunity to expose Naruto as the demon he was. Head held high in confidence, Junichiro began his approach.

"Junichiro-sama," one of the other lord's sons spoke up quietly, but in a tone that demanded attention. "Is this really...necessary? Naruto seems fine. He's worried for his...friend, but he doesn't look all that dangerous to the village..."

It was bold to speak out, but he and the others had talked a few times, and they were getting tired of following Junichiro's obsessive quest to destroy the blond ninja's life. Perhaps if he stood up, he would be able to unseat the Fire Lord's son as the ring-leader of their small pseudo-court.

"Demons are skilled at hiding their true nature and intent," Junichiro countered, stopping to look disapprovingly at the one who had dared oppose him. "It is best to kill them before they reveal themselves as the monsters they truly are."

"He doesn't look like a demon to me," another spoke up, but it was impossible to tell which with the number of close followers he toted around.

"Then you are blind," Junichiro retorted disdainfully. "Does anyone else want to reveal their ignorance?"

The group was silent and still at that point. No one dared to argue with him when so few of them were willing to speak up. It wasn't worth it if it wasn't overwhelming odds. They'd never win otherwise.

Satisfied, Junichiro turned back around - only to run right into Naruto's chest. Startled, he took a step backwards.

----------

"It's not polite to talk about someone behind their back," I growl, crossing my arms and glaring down at him from my full height. "But I guess you wouldn't know the meaning of the word."

I lift my gaze to his lackeys while I wait for him to recover, narrowing my eyes at their obvious desire to flee. "As for the rest of you, you're spineless cowards if you're gonna let this bastard rule your lives."

----------

There was a rustling of cloth as the group grew more and more unsettled until, finally, the first to have spoken up turned and left with his head held high. He looked like he'd made some kind of decision and the rest followed him. Little did he know, he'd gotten exactly what he'd wanted. The group was his now because he seemed the only one willing to lead it besides Junichiro.

"Wha- Wait! Where are you going?" Junichiro protested, shocked that his entourage was leaving without his say-so. This wasn't right! Receiving no answer or even a look over a shoulder, the young lordling whipped around to verbally attack Naruto.

"Demon, what have you done?!"

----------

"I haven't done anything," I state calmly, staring him down. I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction of seeing me seethe at his calling me a demon. I'm not a demon, dammit! I'm just as human as he is! More so! "It's your own fault for being such a spoiled bastard."

Not really feeling like a confrontation, I turn around and go back to the door of the room where Tsunade-baa-chan's working on Sasuke to pace some more. It's been over an hour... How much longer are they gonna be in there?!

----------

"Don't you turn your back on me!! I'm not finished with you yet! Get back here you filthy demon!!"

Junichiro was fuming. Everything was going wrong all of a sudden, and he didn't know why. It had to be the demon's fault! Kitsune were subversive and he had probably cast some kind of spell on his entourage to make them desert him.

"Take whatever silly spell you've put on them off and face the truth, monster!"

----------

Gods, how many times was he dropped on his head as a kid?

"I didn't put any sort of spell or Jutsu on them," I toss over my shoulder, turning my head just enough so he can hear me. How did those other nobles ever stand to be around him for long periods of time?! "And yes, we're done here. So if you'd like your nose to stay intact, I suggest you leave me alone! You've made my life enough of a living hell already." I'm giving him to the count of fifteen to leave before I make good on my threat. One... Two...

----------

Junichiro's face turned five shades of angry red. How dare this-this-this beast tell him they were through!?

"How dare you?! I'll have your..."

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade roared from the doorway. "Get out of here, Junichiro. Or else I'll have you banned from the hospital unless you’re in need of it. Here, even you can't tell me I can't."

Tsunade then turned to Naruto and smiled a little. "Go on in. Just be quiet and calm, please. And once he's asleep, Obaa-san and I want to talk to you."

----------

'Thank you,' I mouth to her, ignoring my lord bastard as he splutters and tries to come up with a retort. Sasuke's sitting up and leaning back against a pile of pillows at the headboard. He appears to be asleep, but I can hear his erratic heartbeat. He's far from resting.

"Obaa-chan? Is he going to be okay?" I ask quietly, approaching the bed on silent feet to not disturb him. He looks so shaken... What effect is Itachi's visit gonna have on him?

----------****----------

I hear Obaa-san answer him with a soft, "We'll talk after your through here."

"Naruto," I whisper peeling my eyes open. I'm so tired and...I want him to hold me. I wish...I want so badly to see him. Lifting my hand I extend it palm down, fingers reaching blindly for him.

"Naruto," I repeat desperately when he isn't immediately there on the edge of the bed.

----------****----------

I maneuver around Obaa-chan and sit down next to him, taking his hand and pulling him close for a tight embrace.

"Shh, I'm here. Everything's gonna be fine," I murmur, rubbing soothing circles on his back. The scent of terror still lingers on his skin, no longer overpowering and gradually going away.

----------****----------

I cling to him desperately, holding tight and burying my face in his shoulder. I shudder, but the tension is leaving me by it. As long as he's here, I'll be alright. My head is a jumble. It's sore in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the number of times I knocked it into chair edges and walls today. There's something straining to overwhelm my thoughts and yet it's still behind a thin "membrane" in my mind's eyes.

"Don't let go... Please."

"I won't, I promise," he whispers, lips brushing my ear, and gently kisses my cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

I nod, once and sigh, the last of my tension leaving me. I'm starting to feel really sleepy.

"Promise you'll be here when I wake up?" I know the old woman drugged me. It's probably for the better, but I want him here for as many of my waking moments as he can be. I hug him tightly and wait, holding my breath.

"I promise, Sasuke."

"Thank you," I whisper and feel my body starting to grow sluggish and slow down. My eyelids get heavy and for one moment, I try to struggle against it, arching closer to him, and tightening my grip in the back of his shirt, but in the end...

----------****----------

His heartbeat's finally calmed down, as has his breathing. Good, he's asleep. He needs the rest. I rearrange the pillows so I can lay him down before I gently unwind his arms from around my body. I make sure to keep his hand in mine to keep him calm. ...He looks so weak and broken, skin pale with fading fright and pinched around his eyes. Gods, please let him be himself again soon. I don't know how much longer he can last like this. How much longer I can last watching him be like this.

----------

Tsunade entered the room at Obaa-san's beckoning and sighed in relief to see Sasuke dead asleep on the pillows.

"Thank you, Naruto. I was beginning to think he'd never come off that adrenaline high." She was pulling up a pair of chairs as she spoke and helped the old woman take one before taking the other.

"How is he?" she asked of the blond. "Lately, not just right now..."

----------

"I've been talking to him at night while he's asleep," I murmur, my eyes never leaving Sasuke's face. Gently, I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb, hoping to coax him into deeper sleep. "He doesn't respond much at night, but he's gradually acting more like his old self during the day."

----------

Tsunade cast the old woman a glance, and Obaa-san stood abruptly.

"I'll leave this to you two." It was murmured respectfully and she shuffled out with a slight bow. It would be better coming from someone the blond knew well, she decided. Tsunade-chan would know how to tell Naruto the whole truth as gently as possible. A soft sigh slipped past her lips as Grandmother shut the door.

(Thanks, old woman... Leaving me to do this on my own...)

Shaking her head once, she looked to Naruto. "Naruto, I need you to look at me. This is important and I want you to understand completely before you say anything, alright?"

----------

Shit, this can't be good. Whenever she says something like that, it usually means trouble for me. Mindful to keep my mouth shut until she's done, I turn my gaze to her.

----------

"I'll be straight forward with you. I got the opportunity to examine him and I took it. Obaa-san was here, too, so we have the full scope of Sasuke's condition." She paused and let that sink in for a moment. Naruto nodded a little and she continued.

"There's severe damage to the occipital lobe of his brain; a trauma that traveled up his optic nerves. …And the back of his skull isn't healing properly, which means it's putting pressure on the back of his brain – the part that’s trying to heal – and so it’s slowing his healing and setting him up for some severe trouble later in life if it isn't treated. Other than the rest of his scarring, that's pretty much all of his physical trouble.

“As for mentally – Obaa-san diagnosed him, of course, so this is straight from her – he has General Dissociative Retrograde Amnesia. She said it was easier to tell what was wrong with him once she knew more about what he'd been like and some of what his actual past was. Do you understand what that means, or do you need me to explain it?"

----------

I understand optic nerves, but... occipital lobe? What the hell is that? Whatever, it's a brain thing. As for his skull... "Can you fix his skull so that it does heal properly and stops putting pressure on his brain?"

I'll worry about the General Whatsis Amnesia in a second. One thing at a time, or my head will start to hurt. I hope she doesn't get all medical on me. I won't understand anything if she does.

----------

Another sigh from Tsunade and she ran her fingers through her pigtails, thoughtfully.

"Alright. Well, the occipital lobe is a lobe of the brain at the back of the skull. We're lucky it's the only thing that sustained any damage as far as the brain goes because it sits between the parietal lobe, which receives and processes touch and pain, and the cerebellum, which controls his motor functions and holds the gray matter. Fibers from the spinal cord are distributed by the thalamus to various parts of the parietal lobe, so there was a lot more at stake here than just his eye-sight. There still is, but things are looking pretty good as far as actually treating him." She smiled at him, trying to fully explain what was at stake and what their chances were in as optimistically as possible. "With help, I can fix his eye-sight."

----------

Mou, she did get all medical on me! I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about! Parietal, cerebellum, thalamus, it all sounds like gibberish to me. I think I'm getting a headac- Wait, she can?!

"You can fix him?!"

"His eyes, his brain and his skull are repairable, unless something goes horribly wrong. This surgery is as risky as Lee's... maybe more so." She nods, but her mouth is set in a grim line.

"But you can fix him," I stress. I understand there will be risks, she doesn't need to tell me that, and I have a very good idea how delicate the brain is. What I need to know is if she thinks she can do this.

"Yes. I believe that I have the ability to mend him physically, but you understand that just because he's able to see doesn't mean he'll be better mentally."

"Of course I understand that," I state, making a face at the implication that I'm dumb. The important thing is, if she fixes his eyes then there's a greater chance he'll become himself sooner. "So what's this General Whatsis Amnesia?"

She looks off to the side for a moment and then seems to steel herself.

"General Dissociative Retrograde Amnesia," she repeats, ignoring my impatient scowl and continues. "I'll start with the basics since it will help you understand things better if we start with what you know and build from there. That is, you know amnesia means he can't remember something about himself. The thing keeping him from remembering is an instinct response to something traumatic, so this is entirely of his mind’s own doing. He can ‘come out’ any time; it's just a matter of him finding his way back to himself.

“Now, Retrograde Amnesia is the most common form of amnesia, or at least, it's what we know the most about. He can't remember anything from his past before the incident. Here’s the kicker: Dissociative mental disorders aren't uncommon in the general populace, the most common is what we usually call split-personalities. Sasuke has basically thrown this weaker, watered down version of himself up so that he doesn't have to deal with whatever happened to bring about this mental state. The disorder is characterized by a blocking out of critical personal information, like identity and memory, but unlike other types of amnesia, it doesn't result from physical trauma. She labeled it general because it encompasses his entire life to the day of the incident."

She pauses to let me digest all of that. It's a lot to force into my mind at once.

So, basically, it's just like Obaa-chan said. Sasuke's thrown up a mental wall, blocking all his memories from when he fell off the cliff and before. I'm relieved to hear that his amnesia wasn't caused by that huge wound on the back of his head. If that had been the case, then even I know there would have been no chance of him regaining his memories. Finding his way back to himself... That's what I'm doing. I'm helping find his way back out from behind those mental walls. I guess the only other thing I can do is wait, hope, and pray.

----------

Tsunade sighed and stood. "I want to get working on him as soon as possible, while you've got the noble brats all helter-skelter. It's Tuesday today, right?" At his nod, she nodded as well.

"Alright, then this Saturday he needs to be here in this room for the surgery. Make sure he eats three square meals a day and make sure he doesn't eat anything the night before the surgery starting at midnight, just to be safe. I'll leave you here with him. He'll rest better that way. Make sure he gets lots and lots of rest." With that, Tsunade took herself out.

----------

I file away Tsunade-baa-chan's instructions and twist around so I can lie on the bed next to Sasuke. Cradling his hand to my chest, I watch him sleep and think about our future until I follow him into the blackness of slumber.

----------****----------

(I'm late! I trained for so long!)

Why does the world seem...larger? Book bag bouncing against my kidney, I glance down at my pumping hands. They're...small? What is this? Oh, wait...It's a dream. But then, why does everything feel so real? The moon is full, but so is my heart. I'm determined and I've got a bright future to look forward to. Something good happened…Katon! I did the Katon and father said, "As I expected. You are my son." To me! Not him! My brother...Itachi.

The streets are quiet as I race along, soaring with my new found hope...until this looming presence...I stop dead in my tracks and look up, but there is no one where I thought there should have been, perched upon the pole to shadow out a portion of the moon.

(What the...What is this feeling now...?)

My eyes come down from the moon, and I freeze.

The street...it's littered with corpses. The walls are stained with smears of blood, the shop banners fluttering with sticky dark splatters across them. I run for home in terror. Where else can I go?

(What the hell is going on?!)

I stop inside the house. I call for mother and father, but the response I get... "Sasuke, don't come in."

That's Itachi's voice. I reach for the door with a trembling hand and push...

(No...Gods, no. Not again! I've seen this all before!)

Itachi is standing over mother and father's dead bodies, heaped in the center of the room like trash.

(No more! I remember this! I don't want to see this again! I don't want...)

“But you have to. You must avenge them. You were chosen as their Avenger from the moment this happened.”

(Who?)

I look around, but the dream is gone...for now. It's fine though. I remember it all far too clearly...all on my own. The warm blackness of sleep recedes and I open my eyes slowly. I could see...once.

"Naruto," I call softly. His hand is still in mine, but I think he might be either sleeping or really, really relaxed. I think while I wait for an answer. A moment's thought...but still no memory of him. I let out a sigh.

----------****----------

He's awake! My eyes snap open, sleep fleeing my mind, and I prop myself up on an elbow to look down into his face.

"Hey, welcome back. Sleep okay?" I ask quietly, giving his hand an affectionate squeeze. He looks... thoughtful. I wonder if he dreamt, and what about.

----------****----------

I choose not to answer that question. The sleep was restful, but not pleasant.

"Why didn't you tell me that my brother killed my entire clan, but me?" I ask without hesitance.

There are holes in the memory, things I can't quite recall, but there it is whole enough to know a good deal of what happened. It is the 'why' that I don't recall. Did I ever know at all? Pushing the contemplation aside, I hold his hand firmly and wait for an answer, my face expressionless for the moment.

----------****----------

...His voice. One of the first things I noticed when he came back to Konoha was that his voice had sounded a little high compared to what I'd remembered. Just now, his voice was deeper, much closer to the voice I remember. And cooler, as if he pulled some of the emotion out of it. At any other time I would have been overjoyed to hear his voice like that - it means he's coming back to himself - but when coupled with that question...

I suppress a wince before I remember he can't see me.

"I didn't tell you... because I didn't want you to dwell on it," I state. "Before, all you ever thought about was getting power to kill him. ...Itachi's made both of our lives hell and I don't like talking about him."

"I even asked you about my family...and still you didn't tell me." His voice is almost accusing, but lately it's a little harder to tell exactly what his emotions are than it has been.

"I started to, but you changed the subject, remember?" I mutter, shifting nervously. Crap, this isn't good. He's using his old voice to reprimand me... I am so screwed.

He's silent a moment and then he sighs softly. "You're right."

Holding in my own sigh of relief, I lie back down and rest my head on his shoulder. Please don't ask me again, Sasuke. I hate talking about your brother and your family's demise.

"I want to go home," he murmurs. Reaching up, he strokes my cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"Okay."

I kiss his neck before standing up and lifting him into my arms. The trip home is silent, making me worry about what he's thinking. Why did he ask me that about Itachi-bastard? How much does he remember? Because he clearly remembers some of it... unless Itachi was more talkative than usual. And if he does remember, how much longer will it be before he remembers everything else? I enter through the bedroom balcony - Gotta clean up the glass and get the door replaced... - and set him down on the bed.

"Hungry?" Anything to avoid his brother.

----------****----------

"Ha~."

I state it simply and lean back against the headboard. I'm hungry but my mind is whirring, so my stomach isn't as demanding as it could have been. Sitting in silence until he returns, I contemplate things as they are now, poking at the new memories. They're sore, but comfortably set in my mind once more as though they've always been there. He re-enters after a moment and I look towards the sound.

"Thank you." I reach for the food and for him.

He sets a bowl of stew in my hands and sits down next to me. We eat in quiet for a long, tense moment before he very hesitantly asks, "He didn't do anything to you, did he? You were... a little too hysteric yesterday to really tell us anything."

He doesn't want to talk about this, yet he understands the necessity.

"No. He chased me around, I ran into things. That was about it. He asked me how I was going to kill him like this, but I didn't understand...then."

What else can I say? That's all that happened. It just seems like more to me because of the situation I face right now. At least I know my memories can come back.

----------****----------

"Good."

Satisfied that Itachi didn't do anything to him, I go back to my dinner. "Tsunade-baa-chan says she'll do the surgery to fix your eyes on Saturday. She wants you to eat well between now and then and to get plenty of sleep."

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. How will he react when he can see everything again?

----------****----------

I nod and start eating.

"Alright. I can do that," I answer softly. He's thrumming with pent up energy beside me and I can't help but ask, "What's the matter?"

There probably isn't anything really wrong, but he just feels so volatile at the moment that I'm worried he might explode or something. Maybe having him talk about it will settle him down some...

----------****----------

"Nothing," I say quickly. "I'm just wondering what'll happen when you can see again. And a little worried, I guess. Tsunade-baa-chan said the surgery's gonna be really risky. Maybe even more than Fuzzy-Eyebrow's was."

----------****----------

"Fuzzy...Eyebrows?" I pause, staring blankly into my soup. I can't see it anyway, but I remember sort of what soup looks like in a bowl in my lap. I imagine that as I contemplate the risks of my upcoming surgery. Paralysis. Death... Neither seems any worse than what I'm living in right now. Is my life always this crappy?

----------****----------

"You okay?" Stupid question, I know, but it's never a good idea to let Sasuke brood about anything.

----------****----------

"As okay as I seem to ever be."

I finish off my soup and then consider waiting for him to take the bowl like usual. Something in me bristles at the idea and I twist, finding the nightstand and putting it there for Naruto or myself to take to the kitchen later on. I then slide from bed after a moment of quiet and make my way to the dresser, which I know to be to my left from where I stand and straight ahead. I pull out clean boxers and then pause.

"What day is it and what time?"

"Wednesday and... sunset. Why?"

"So I have an idea of how long it will be."

I toss the words over my shoulder as I take the boxers and head towards the bathroom. My skin feels coated, both from the sweat and from the adrenaline, plus the sedative has left me feeling kind of cottony all over. I need to bathe. Badly.

----------****----------

Not quite sure where we stand at the moment, I finish my dinner and set my bowl in my lap as I watch him leave the room. I'm glad he's acting more like himself... though I would prefer it if it wasn't because he's annoyed with me. Hearing the water start in the bathroom, I grab our bowls and take them to the kitchen to wash them. Should I go join him, or should I leave him alone for right now? I want to join him... but I don't want him mad at me.

----------****----------

I listen patiently for him to re-enter the bedroom. I know he sees me standing silently in the doorway. Feeling no need to say anything, I simply turn and head back into the furo. He'll follow, if he wants. If not, I've got this whole thing figured out for myself anyway so it won't matter much, except maybe hurt a little that he'd refuse.

----------****----------

Relieved to have his silent invitation, I quickly get a pair of clean boxers and go into the furo. Sitting next to him on my stool, I give his shoulder a tentative squeeze before filling my little wash tub.

"You're not... mad at me, are you?" I ask quietly, rubbing a soapy washcloth over my body.

----------****----------

"Why would I be mad at you? You didn't want to talk about it because it upsets you. There's nothing wrong with that," I answer and begin to run a cloth over my own body. I'm really not mad, just...I don't know, unhappy that I didn't remember something that important. Sort of like how I feel really sour about not remembering Naruto. Or what we were like before I came back as this broken, battered shell of whatever I was after Itachi destroyed my life.

----------****----------

My breath leaves my lungs in a quiet, relieved whoosh. I hadn't even realized I'd been holding it. Satisfied with his answer, I finish soaping down my body and rinse all the suds off, watching as they flow towards the drain.

"Want me to wash your back?" I offer, putting more soap on my washcloth and rubbing it into a thick lather. His almost aloof silence lifts my spirits. While I wish that Itachi had never shown up, I am glad that it's made Sasuke act substantially more like his old self. Maybe a few more nights of talking to him and the surgery will bring the rest of his memories back!

"Ha~," he murmurs, the sound of agreement barely audible as if he doesn't really want to acknowledge the desire to be touched.

Smiling, I scoot my stool closer to him and begin to rub the soapy cloth over his back. My free hand lightly rests on his hip, the gesture affectionate. I love the feel of his skin under my palms.

----------****----------

His hand on my hip is a comforting, warm pressure, light and reassuring. His hand as he glides the cloth over my back is gentle. When he's finished, I dump water over my head and listen as the water flows down the drain.

"Hair?" I inquire shortly. My mind is...distant even to me at the moment. I can't really seem to focus very well, and at the same time I feel oddly removed. But it's like I put myself here. I guess I must still be dealing with the renewed trauma of losing my entire family, my whole clan to my bastard brother.

----------****----------

"Aa."

I set the cloth aside and grab the shampoo bottle, putting a small amount into my hand. Rubbing it between my palms, I work it into a lather and massage it into his short hair. It's not really a buzz anymore. Now, it's just long enough to rough up, and I do so at every available opportunity.

"You really need to grow your hair out," I state. "It's so... weird seeing you with short hair."

----------****----------

An image of my younger self flashes through my mind and I turn my eyes down to the tile.

"My hair was definitely longer as a child... Was it like that all the time? Longish...with bangs?"

It frustrates me not to know these things! That I have to ask about this type of stuff about myself! Pushing the thoughts aside, I wait patiently for him to finish before rinsing again.

Warm lips press to the back of my neck solid arms encircle my shoulders. "Yep, it was always like that. It was so much fun to piss you off when we were kids and watch your rooster tail stand on end." I can feel him smile against my neck.

"Rooster... tail?" I lift my chin and reach up, putting my hand on his arms below my throat. That's an interesting way of describing what my hair used to be like. I feel a sudden longing for those bangs, short as they were when I was small, they're better than what I have now...which is nothing.

----------****----------

"Mm-hm!" My smile growing at the memory, I kiss his neck again and give him a squeeze before letting go. I go to the tub and turn off the water, then pull my stool in front of him and sit back down.

"Wash my back?" I ask hopefully, wanting that wonderful feeling of his hands on my skin. I wonder if anyone knows any Jutsu that can make hair grow faster... I really want to see Sasuke with his old hairstyle again. One bonus it'll have - his hair will be able to hide that nasty scar on the back of his head.

----------****----------

"Ha~," he murrs and takes up the cloth and soap with little difficulty. His soapy hands find my back without trouble, and he lets the one not holding the cloth slip down to rest on my hip as I had done with him. His other hand scrubs my back, gently but firmly.

"Your hair?" he asks softly as he moves lower down my spine.

"Mm," I hum, quickly becoming very relaxed. My eyes slide shut happily and I let out a quiet, content sigh. This is almost like being petted. Once he's done with my back, I remove the stool from under me and sit on the water-warmed tile so he doesn't have to reach up to get at my hair. Oh, that feels goooood.

----------****----------

I run my fingers through his hair, enjoying the noises I elicit from him. He's growling softly, but it sounds almost more like a purr than an actual growl, so I slow my fingers down still more and play with his hair more than actually bathe it. I like getting to him like this. I love that he shows it. With both sets of fingers, I massage his scalp, paying it the utmost attention.

----------****---------

Oooooohhhhhh...happiness. Can I just die right now, like this, too content to even think? I lean into his ever-skillful fingers with a loud growl-purr and let all the tension from the past couple days flow right out of my body.

"You have forever to stop that," I murr.

One hand leaves my scalp almost instantly, but I relax when I realize he's reaching around to pet my chest as he leans forward and sighs against the side of my neck. His one hand continues to fondle my hair. Fondle really is the only word that truly describes the way he's playing in my hair and the suds there.

"Hi, Sasuke," I murmur playfully, leaning back until the back of my head rests against his shoulder. "Ready to get in the tub?" A soak sounds really good right now.

"Ha~," he answers and lets his hands fall away. Then he sits, motionless, waiting for me to move.

"'Kay." I stand up and lightly touch the back of his hand with my fingertips, offering to lead him to the tub but giving him plenty of room to refuse. The more he becomes himself, the less he'll be accepting of my help in anything.

He chooses to make his own way to the tub, with a gentle caress of his other hand against the back of mine. It's his acknowledgment and gentle let down. He really doesn't need my help in getting to and in the tub anymore.

Glad for a rejection of my offer, I follow Sasuke to the tub and slide in next to him, making a small noise of appreciation as the warm water envelops my body. This is absolute heaven... My mind is quiet, my body relaxed, and I have a recovering Sasuke beside me. Yep, life is very good right now.

----------****----------

He settles into the water beside me and kicks back. I smirk a little and settle back myself. Things are getting a little on the cozier side between him and me a bit more each passing day. After a slight hesitation, I twist until I'm resting on my hip and then snuggle up to his side, taking advantage of his lifted arm. It's a good thing he isn't sunk up to his chin or else this might be a little uncomfortable. I press my nose against his shoulder and huff slightly, pleased with everything tonight. The arm not slinking its way around Naruto's back lays its hand on Naruto's stomach, stroking washboard muscles idly. I remembered something at least, even if it wasn't the best of my stashed memories.

----------****----------

And it's getting better. Circling his shoulders with my arm, I pull him closer to my side and nuzzle the top of his head. I love it when he's in a cuddly mood. My stomach twitches slightly when his fingers find a sensitive spot, making my lips turn up in a smile. A thick trickle of suds sliding down the side of my face reminds me that I didn't rinse my hair. Oops.

Summoning my wash tub to my hand, I fill it with warm water and lean back so the shampoo gets washed out onto the floor and not into our soaking water. There, that's better. I set the small tub on the floor and get into a comfortable position, my hand running up and down Sasuke's arm.

----------****----------

Lucky me, he's in a very cuddly mood as well. Stretching up a little, I rub my nose against his neck and then lick the vein there with a broad, clean sweep of my tongue.

"Mm," I murr, loving the taste of "outdoors" that surfaces on his skin when he soaks for even a few minutes.

He purrs back and nuzzles my temple. "Sasuke..." he whispers happily.

Saying nothing, I scoot up closer, pressing against him as my mouth wanders over his neck. He seems to really like to be licked, so I swab my tongue against the underside of his chin, going slowly so he has time to end this before it goes farther than he wants. I want to feel the rush of blood through my veins again and hear it pound in my ears in time with his softly panting breaths. I want to feel his hands all over like I have a few times in the recent past.

----------****----------

Oh, he's in that kinda mood, huh? Grinning evilly, I grasp his hips and pull him into my lap before he has a chance to protest. There's nothing better than having a naked Sasuke straddling me. Well, nothing except a naked, flushed, and panting Sasuke. Lightly scraping my nails down his sides to get a shiver out of him, I lean forward and capture his lips in a playful, deep, mind-blowing kiss.

Oh yeah, add incoherent to that previous list.

----------****----------

I squirm, shifting in his strong grip, but whatever it was in me that wanted to fight the sudden loss of control gives in the moment his lips touch mine. Both of my arms come up to fold around his head, my fingers playing in his hair a little awkwardly because of the way my arms cradle his skull. My lips part and my tongue comes right out to greet his, eager to play with its mate.

----------****----------

Purring as I deepen the kiss, my nails gently rake over his chest and nipples. I almost don't notice his scars anymore. Even so, I really, really hope Tsunade-baa-chan can shrink them. We'll both be happier and- and...oohh yeah. Right there... What was I thinking again? Meh, whatever. Kissing is more important.

----------****----------

Letting my body slide closer to his on my butt, I break the deeper kiss in favor of a series of brief but lingering kisses on the mouth as we somewhat catch our breath. My one hand remains in the back of Naruto's hair while the other explores his ribcage and the stomach that's almost pressed right up against mine.

"You feel good," I whisper into Naruto's ear, my voice surprisingly sultry. It only ever seems to get like this when I'm around him, oddly enough.

----------****----------

"Mmm, so do you," I purr into his ear, my voice growing husky, as my hands lovingly roam the expanse of his back. His hand is leaving a trail of fire on my skin, coaxing an appreciative moan out of me. Shivering at the pleasurable sensation despite the water's heat, I take his earlobe between my lips and gently suck on it. The room's steamy atmosphere is making him sweat, adding a hint of musk to his already delicious flesh. I hear his breath catch and suck a little harder, adding in the occasional nibble in hopes of hearing that sound again.

----------****----------

His teeth draw a gasp from me as he nips gently at my ear. His hands on my back make me shiver faintly. I would give up my eyesight forever for an eternity like this. My hand dips lower on his abdomen, my wrist brushing his still-growing erection accidentally, and my own length hardens at the feeling accompanied by his sharp intake of breath.

"Naruto," I murmur just to hear his name in my lust-roughened voice. It sends a thrill down my spine to hear such a tone come out of myself, and I carefully pull my ear from his teeth so that I can lower my lips to his neck. I brush a kiss to his jugular vein, making him shiver, then decide to play wicked and opt for my tongue, instead. Bathing his neck as he's done to me in the past, which he seems to really like having done to him and really like doing to me, I moan against his skin.

----------****----------

I moan deep in my throat and let my head fall back to give him more room. The feel of his tongue against my neck like this is pure bliss. The sensation of it is sending small bolts of lightning down my body to add to the growing heat between my legs. I hadn't even noticed I'm getting hard until he touched it. His wrist brushes my erection again and this time the moan shakes my chest. The scent of arousal radiates off our skin, growing stronger by the second, and it serves only to make me harder.

"Sasuke..." I moan, running my hands over the soft insides of his thighs.

----------****----------

My moan rumbles out of my chest, as deeply affected by him as my voice. His hands on the sensitive skin of my inner thighs...

"Gods," I whisper against his throat as a shudder tears through me. It tickles, faintly, and part of that is why it's affecting me like this. As a reward, I let my fingertips ghost along the side of his erection, thumb rubbing briefly over the head. He hasn't pulled away, so this must be ok. I want to touch him...so badly that I ache.

----------****----------

"Nngh, Sa-suke..."

I gasp, my voice deep and rough with pleasure. Everything twitched when he did that. Oh, not fair! Payback time. My hands clutch his legs for a moment before sliding up to where legs meet hips. I caress the crease of flesh, the pads of my thumbs getting closer to his growing length with each pass. M'not gonna touch him until he begs for it, no matter how much I wanna just grab him and pump him mindless.

-----------****----------

A soft gasp falls from my lips and my head drops forward, pressing my forehead to his neck, and I close my eyes. There's a smirk playing at the edges of my mouth, an expression that I can't explain, but that might be because I'm too preoccupied with every teasing caress of his thumbs. After a moment of recollecting myself, I lift my forward from his throat and set my teeth there instead, nipping lightly at his throat, the side of his neck and his shoulder, especially his shoulder. Occasionally, I return to his throat with my tongue, or nibble at his jaw. He's like a very tasty treat, not sweet, but definitely delicious.

----------****----------

As if I weren't completely melted already... I wait for him to nip at my jaw again and use the opportunity to catch his lips in a deep, hungry kiss. Determined to return the intense pleasure he's giving me, I cup the back of his head in one hand to firmly hold him in the lip-lock and roughly pump him once - just once - with the other hand. My palm itches, no - burns, with the need to keep pumping his thick length, but I force it to settle on his hip. He'll get more, but only if he begs for it. Gods, his mouth... I could drown in his taste and in the sensation of our tongues rubbing against each other. I love you so much, Sasuke...

----------****----------

An intense shudder courses through every muscle in my body, causing my now fully erect member to twitch. That just... that wasn't fair! I moan into his mouth and try to lift up onto my knees a little which will put me on higher "ground" and force him to tip his head back...if I win. It's an attempt to dominate the kiss. If I can take back control, then maybe I can somehow coax him into doing that again.

It's not the best logic, but my mind's a little hazy at the moment. My body's burning with desire and my heart is pounding in my chest sending a little touch of adrenaline through me. It tingles and enhances my perceptions: his hands, his tongue...again, I shiver slightly with excitement.

----------****----------

Oh-ho-ho-no you don't! I tighten my grip on his hip, keeping him from getting up, and thrust my tongue as far into his mouth as I can, hoping to distract him from his efforts by running the tip of my tongue over his soft pallet. No way am I gonna let him get the upper hand. His trembling sends a reciprocal shudder through me, coaxing a moan to leap out of my throat and into his mouth. The water suddenly feels very cool against my heated skin, even if it is hot enough to steam faintly. Every inch of me is hypersensitive, burning to be touched and caressed and kissed...

Does he have any idea of just how strongly he affects me? How much I want to keep this, keep him, in my life forever? If anything goes wrong during the surgery... A cold spark of fear pierces my heart, adding a touch of desperation to my end of the kiss.

----------****----------

What was I trying to do again? I moan and press closer to him as his tongue caresses my sensitive, ticklish soft pallet. I open my mouth a little wider as my tongue dances with his, inviting him to swallow me whole if he so desires. My hands lace in his hair in answer to a sudden, desperate tint to the kiss in an attempt to reassure him that I'm here and he has nothing to fear. We'll keep each other safe. I recognize the source of the fear as the surgery intuitively and that strikes a little fear in me in answer. It cools the raging desire, and I immediately try to slow the kiss and lower the heat. We need to talk...not get lost in lust...

Breaking the kiss, I lower my head and rest my temple against his cheek, panting heavily.

----------****----------

Gasping as I try to catch my breath, I wrap my arms around his body and pull him close. Our erections brush against each other, sending a bolt of pleasure hot as lava through my veins. I groan deeply and shift, rubbing them together.

Oh, gods... Is it possible to die of ecstasy? That spark of fear refuses to leave... I drop my head to kiss and nip his shoulder, hoping to chase away my worry. This moment is so perfect; I don't want it tainted by my nagging doubts and fears.

----------****----------

I clutch his shoulders, shudder and moan as our arousals rub together, but I know we need to talk. Now isn't the time for this. I gather myself, bite my lip a little and pull away. "Naruto," I whisper, my voice barely able to work. "Naruto," I try again, this time with more success as I cradle his face in both of my palms. I can't see him...Gods, I want to see the face that matches that whimper. I resignedly close my useless eyes. "We need to talk."

He makes a quiet noise of protest and turns his head to lick my palm, clearly not wanting to stop.

The tiny swipe of his tongue against my sensitive palm makes me shiver all over again. "Naruto, we need to talk..." I insist, even though I really don't want to.

----------****----------

Sighing in disappointment, I give his palm another lick followed by a promising kiss before leaning back against the tub's edge. My arms unwind from around him and my hands slide down his sides until they rest on his hips.

"About what?" I mutter almost impatiently. I want to go back to what we were doing! Why couldn't he have waited until we were done?!

"The surgery. About what happens if it doesn't work, or I don't get my memories back... or if I don't make it..." His tone is serious as he opens blank eyes to look right at me.

Wonderful, the last thing I want to talk about right now. ...But it needs to be done. Just not right now.

"Can't that wait until later?" I ask hopefully, caressing the hollows of his hips with light fingertips.

----------****----------

I waver. Couldn't it? After a moment more of hesitating, I lean forward and wrap my arms around his head again, kissing him. "After the bath, then... right after the bath..."

My lips brush his in concession of defeat.

----------****----------

Yes! I win! Murmuring an agreement against his lips, I pull his bottom lip between my own and gently suckle it as my hands slide back around his hips to cradle his firm rump. Maybe I can wear him out enough that he forgets to bring the surgery up again until tomorrow. Right now, I just want to be with him, like this, celebrating the return of some of his memories - even if they're ones I would've preferred he remember last.

----------****----------

I grunt softly, his hands on my rump making me press close to him again. Our arousals brush and that grunt immediately becomes a deep moan, my hips pressing forward harder in reflex. All thoughts of anything else are gone now. It's just me and him and the pleasure between us.

----------****----------

Moaning in concert with him, I release his bottom lip to ghost kisses all over his face.

"Sasuke..." I breathe, pulling him closer until our bodies are flush against each other. My hips begin to lift in a slow, shallow rhythm almost on their own, rubbing our erections together and sending fire throughout my entire body. His length is hard yet soft, pulsing with his lifeblood, and oh so hot against my own straining, twitching, burning shaft. My hands squeeze his ass, holding him still so I can control our pace.

I want this to last forever... Forever in bliss and love.

---------****----------

Eagerly, I meet his slow rhythm, keeping pace and drawing out the pleasure. Everything's steamy and it isn't just because of the bath. My skin tingles with every flicker of pleasure like flame over fuel. Catching his lips, I kiss him ardently, lovingly. I don't want this to ever stop. Part of me is only ever satisfied when I'm with him. I want to hold to this - to him - forever. I've lost everything else and even if I never completely remember what I was, I'll always have this...if he'll stay with me should the final results be a permanent lack of most of my memories. Pushing melancholy thoughts aside, I throw my heart, my passion into the kiss and feel a small portion of my mind ease, releasing some form of tension that I hadn't realized had been there, causing the rest of me to relax and enjoy everything two-fold. "Naruto-koi," I whisper heatedly against his throat. It's my turn now and I devour his neck hungrily, licking, biting and sucking, then soothing everything with gentle kisses.

----------****----------

A quiet sob escapes me before I can hold it back, my heart clenching in pain at his whisper. I haven't heard him call me that since... since the mission to the Sand. I've wanted so much to hear it again... from him, not his shadow. Not even from his half-solid shadow. Gods, can't I ever get a break?!

I stop thrusting and clutch him to me, burying my face in his shoulder as I try to chase away the pain with his scent. All I want is for him to be himself again... and Tsunade-baa-chan made it clear that the surgery's gonna be risky. More risky than Fuzzy Eyebrow's. I remember him telling me that he'd had a fifty percent chance of dying. I trust Tsunade-baa-chan to keep Sasuke alive through the whole procedure, but what if she does something that makes it so he'll never be himself again?!

----------****----------

"Naruto?" I hold him tightly, pleasure forgotten in his pain. Nuzzling his neck, I murmur soothingly, "It's going to be ok. Shh, everything will be fine."

My one hand stays in his hair, gently petting him while the other slips behind him to rub his back.

"Easy," I whisper. I wonder what set him off, but I won't ask him. If he wants to tell me sometime he will, but I won't ask. Not if this is what it does to him. Why make him think the same thing again?

----------****----------

I hope and pray with everything I have that everything will be okay. In three days, our lives are going to change dramatically. All I can do is hope it will be for the better. Given our luck, however, I can't help but fear that he'll be taken away from me forever. I know if that happens, I'll go completely insane. It hurt bad enough to lose him once. I can't bear to lose him again, especially not after the last month and a half.

"Sorry," I mutter, loosening my grip on him and falling back onto the tub's edge. "It's just... you haven't called me that since..."

I can't look up at him, afraid of what expression might be on his face.

----------****----------

"Since before," I supply and catch his cheeks between my hands, thumbs gently stroking the bone. I don't like that he pulled away even a little bit. "Would you rather I didn't?"

"Yes. No. ...I don't know..." He sounds lost and miserable. Letting out a deep sigh, he leans into my touch. The moment is completely ruined.

"Let's get out and go to bed. It'll give you time to think... and then we can talk. We really need to."

I lean forward and gently brush my mouth against his, my fingers sliding up to lace in his hair for a moment to hold him in the tender contact. When I finally break away, I nuzzle his nose and then stand, offering him a hand up.

----------****----------

Taking his hand, I let him pull me up and follow him out of the tub. We dry off quickly and go to the bedroom. I don't even bother to put any clothes on, simply dropping onto the bed on my stomach with another long sigh. I want things to be normal again. Why did we have to go on that damn mission?!

"Are you scared?" I ask quietly, my voice muffled by the pillow.

----------****----------

I crawl up on the bed beside him, using the mattress as a map to find his body, by feeling the dip. It's a pretty big bed. Hard to believe I ever slept in it alone. I opted not to put anything on either. It just didn't seem necessary. Stretching out beside him, I curl one arm under my head and extend the other to stroke his back.

"Ha~." It's an honest answer. "I'm afraid that whatever else can go wrong will. I'm afraid that when she's finished - no offense to her - I won't remember anyone and I'll be alone again. I... Are you?"

----------****----------

I roll onto my side and take his hand, using it to pull him close and tucking his head under my chin.

"Terrified. I lost you once... I would break me to lose you again."

His honesty makes me feel a little better. As long as we can be open and truthful with each other, we'll be able to get through this. Knowing it would be unfair to not tell him everything about what we're facing, I add, "Tsunade-baa-chan said it's gonna be more risky than Fuzzy Eyebrow's surgery. ...He had a fifty percent chance of dying." Now it's up to him whether he still wants to go through with it.

"I know what death is. I was dead for a full two minutes before the doctors in Namikiji brought me back. It's not losing my own life that I'm afraid of. It's losing everything else, losing you, that’s what frightens me the most. To live without that...would be worse than dying."

"Gods, what did I do to deserve you?" I whisper and tighten my embrace, shaken by what he said. I don't deserve someone so wonderful. All my life I was scorned and trampled and hated, and now I have Sasuke... who loves me enough, even after losing his memory of me, to honestly say he's more afraid of losing me than dying. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

----------****----------

I loop one arm under his armpit and bend it up grabbing the top of his shoulder so I can hold him tightly to me.

"Life can't hate you forever, Naruto. I can't find anything in me that hates you, if I ever could." There's a long silence and then I ask the questions I don't want to, but know that I have to.

"If I don't regain my eyesight..." I begin. "I want you to be happy. If being with me...hurts you..." I trail off. How do I say it?

"It's not your eyes I'm worried about," he murmurs, stroking my back soothingly. "If you don't get those back, I'll be really disappointed but it won't be the end of the world. It's the idea of your memories being damaged or your life being taken away that scares me. Especially your life."

I bury my nose against his neck and sigh, my breath hot enough against his skin that even I can feel it.

"If I die... I want you to have this place. It's mine...everything I own...I want you to keep it." I'm fighting off tears. I'm terrified of dying. I'm terrified of living if everything doesn't go exactly as it should and something gets messed up...again.

----------****----------

"No, Sasuke," I whisper, lowering my head to brush my lips against his ear. "If you die, I'm following you. I lost you once. I won't survive losing you again."

If I didn't end up killing myself or getting executed by the nobles, I'd die of heartache. This past month and a half has brought us so close, losing him would be like losing my soul. There would be no reason for me to keep on going.

"No matter where you go, I want to be with you. Without you, I have no reason to live."

----------****----------

I let the tears fall now. A choked gasp and then I'm sobbing and clutching him to me so tightly I think I might crack his ribs or something. It's best to cry everything out now, rather than carry it up to the day of the surgery. It'll be too late then. I just let loose and cling to him.

----------****----------

I latch onto him just as tightly, crying quietly into his short hair.

"I love you, Sasuke," I whisper in complete honesty. "I'll always love you."

----------****----------

"I love you, Naruto."

We stay like that for the next half hour, crying ourselves out and then resting until both of us fall asleep. I wake at some point during the night and pull the mussed blankets up over us, but then I return to exhausted slumber.

TBC…