The Traveling Pussy

Chapter 8: Ibiki’s Genjutsu

“Worn out, eh?” Ibiki asked in a teasing and very satisfied male voice. Ibiki might be different in bed from most men, but evidently he still wanted to hear some praise like pretty much every man does after sex.

The idea of an unsure, vulnerable Ibiki made me grin, “Did you blindfold yourself too, Ibiki? You’re losing it if you need me to fill you in on what my body’s feeling,” I said teasingly. “Hey, you did break a teapot, maybe you need to think about slowing down, old man.”

“God, I don’t scare you at all, do I?” he asked in a voice that sounded genuinely amazed. It made me giggle to think I was surprising Ibiki.

He suddenly pulled his forehead protector off my eyes. The sun had set, and the room was dark, but enough light was spilling in from the kitchen to see him. I was lost in looking. Oh, god, I had to lick those scars. I reached up and pulled his head down to my mouth. It wasn’t easy to move my tongue along those diagonal slices across his face being on the bottom, so I pushed him over on his back. He let me do what I wanted. I reached over and turned on the light, so I could see better and then let myself do what I had been fantasizing about. I licked those long scars on his face from bottom to top. I went back and slowly kissed my way up his face, nibbling and licking. Then I let myself start on his bald, scarred head. I used my tongue to explore each fold of his flesh, to suck and lick at each hole, to bite gently at some of the tougher ridges.

I then had to kiss him for the longest time. But there was too much else to look at, to touch, to taste, to spend all my time on his mouth. I let myself explore his neck and move down to his chest. I was getting worked up again and having those little tiny moments of pulsing pleasure that tended to come just before or after I orgasmed. I groaned and began moving my mouth down to his belly button. I let my tongue explore that little hole and then move across to his hip. I had already taken his cock in my mouth this morning at his ANBU office—I was more interested in licking and kissing and learning all the little marks and spots on the rest of his body.

My mouth found a vein near the surface, and I could feel his heartbeat with my tongue and lips. I love being so close to another human, I could literally hear the blood pumping through his body. I felt another tremor shake me and started to lick and suck at that throbbing section of his skin. “You know I did offer to cook, you know,” he said.

I pulled my head up and snorted, “Food, food, food, do you have to rub it in that I’m massively more into you than you are into me?” I felt him flinch a little at my words, and a massive wave of depression and emotional pain slammed into me. I put my head down against his body and tried to get control of my rising panic.

There was no one left after Ibiki, and no way I could go missing-nin now that ANBU was alert to me as a possible security leak. I supposed there might still be someone else, somewhere in Konoha, but I just felt scared, lonely, and depressed thinking of how it would feel when Ibiki left me. I was in for a broken heart in the near future. I remembered how as a genin, I’d heard Ibiki talk with such scorn about those shinobis that let fear take them over and lead them to avoid risks—they were trash in his eyes. I felt suddenly defeated, like it was pointless to torture myself memorizing this body, loving this man, when I couldn’t possibly win his heart. Oh god, my stupid self-doubts were now spreading from my work life to my love life. Giving into doubt was the fastest way to make sure Ibiki thought I was trash.

I’d like to think my freaking out was due to a lack of food or a temporary loss of judgment, but I sort of had a mental breakdown. I don’t usually get morbidly depressed during sex. Right after I had made chuunin, I had become convinced I wasn’t jounin material. I doubted I would ever become an elite chuunin. And now, with the shitty way I had been doing my job lately, I deserved to be busted down to genin.

I think I had started to get more obsessed with sex when I started to think that I was unlikely to ever advance any further as a shinobi. I stopped putting my all into my work, telling myself I didn’t care about advancing further. I lay there with my head on Ibiki’s thigh, losing myself in self-pity and misery, seeing all the mistakes and stupid choices I’d made in the past that led to me lying here, loving someone who was famous for the pain he inflicted on others, famous for loving no one.

Maybe I should quit as a shinobi even if I couldn’t move to the Sand and try to move to another town. My genin teammates and I weren't on speaking terms, and they both were already elite chuunin. But Tsunade had personally ordered me to stay here in Konoha. I tried to pull myself together—I had Ibiki in my bed now, what was the point in thinking about the future? When he left me, I could go to pieces then, or let myself die trying to leave, or maybe just do everyone a favor that remotely cared about me and let myself die in a perfectly normal accident rather than a suicidal attempt to leave my hometown. Oh shit, when I started thinking about dying as a solution to life’s problems, I was really not a good person to be around. It was time to flee for the bathroom again or put on a nice fake face.

But before I managed to do either, I felt Ibiki pull out from under me, stand up, and leave the room. Part of me was glad—the last thing I needed was to have a psychological breakdown in front of a specialist in causing psychological breakdowns. What was more humiliating was that he wasn’t even trying to break me down—I was just doing it to myself. I stayed frozen in my own personal hell, trying to motivate myself to move or do something by mocking myself. Usually if I thought mean enough thoughts about myself, I could get myself to a simple, more normal blue funk.

Then I felt Ibiki climbing back on the bed. He bit my right ass cheek sharply and began to give me a hickey there. It worked immediately to stop my despairing. Once more I focused on the here and now, and the sex that could happen in the next hour--not some nebulous, nightmarish future. Ibiki flipped me over on my back and sat himself up to stare into my eyes. I didn’t want to look into his eyes. “Look at me,” he said.

I looked into those dark eyes and that scarred face. It was weird to look at him without his head covered, without his clothes. I couldn’t help but sneak a look at his body, which seemed so beautiful to me. He moved his hands in a series of hand seals, casting some illusion jutsu that I didn’t recognize. The world around us seemed to disappear, and I felt like I was meeting him in a strange blue world. We were standing up, our feet in a blue, glowing liquid; our bodies were surrounded by walls of pulsing blue. It was a powerful Genjutsu, a beautiful one, like being immersed in a stream of chakra.

“It’s both beautiful and terrifying, just like your body, just like you,” I said to him, or maybe I just thought it at him. This must be some sort of interrogation jutsu, in which you couldn’t help but spill out your secrets and fears. “I’m so scared because I love you, and I’ve never loved anybody I’ve slept with before. I'm not good at love. Most of my lovers end up hating me or thinking I'm pathetic. I’m not good enough for you, and it hurts. I’m afraid that I’ll never have sex this good again without you. I’m so afraid of the pain that’s coming when you dump me, I’m losing the one thing I think you might actually like about me—my nerve, my spirit, my will to keep going.”

“I’m not going anywhere, stupid,” said Ibiki or thought at me, and the blue seemed fill up all the space and air in between us, to fill up my whole body, and make me glow with the feeling of being the most treasured and precious thing in the world. It felt like I was being cocooned in liquid love. In retrospect, that seems silly, but at the time, everything felt so right. “Just let go, let yourself heal,” a voice seemed to whisper to me, not quite his and not quite someone else’s, and I slid into some other sort of world, some other sort of state of being.

I can’t explain it or describe it, but maybe the closest thing to how I felt was as if I was child again, crying in the dark, and my mother was suddenly there--hugging, holding, and whispering words of love to me. My mother had been dead for years, but in that weird blue world, I knew she was alive somewhere and still loved me. And in that blue world, I knew Ibiki was alive, and he loved me. I don’t why I felt so sure of it, but maybe it was part of the genjutsu. I reached for Ibiki in the blueness, trying to find him, to whisper words of love to him, and then I was kissing him.

A weird whistle woke me up. Ibiki and I were sitting on my bed, kissing. The room was pink, not a glowing blue. The sound was the tea kettle. “Hey, let’s go eat now,” I said.

He just smiled and holding my hand, pulled me into the kitchen. Still holding hands we stood at the stove as he turned off the burner and moved the kettle to another one. “You got another teapot?” he asked, making a funny face that made us both start laughing.

“Yea, I got another teapot,” I said, “but I’m going to save the pieces of the broken one, so I can remember this.”

“Get the teapot, stupid. Like I’m going to let you forget me, baka-chan,” he said pulling me in for a long kiss. “I’m keeping you for myself, silly, so get used to it and make me some tea and dinner, dammit,” he said slapping me on the ass.

My mouth fell open in shock. Another slap got me digging out the ugly brown and green teapot that I had shoved in the back of a cupboard behind some rarely used odds and ends. I noticed he was picking up the shards of the teapot from the sink and just piling them on the counter, not chucking them in the trash. I smiled as I opened the refrigerator to pull out the fish I’d planned to eat on the first day of my vacation.

Sometimes it’s easier just to obey orders and let someone else be in charge. As I unwrapped the fish and reached for my spices, I had the feeling I was going have the best vacation of my life.

*****
Thanks for the new reviews!!! Most of the people in my life are worried about me spending so much time writing, but you make it worth it to ignore their advice to limit myself to two hours a day of writing . . .