Where is God?

“Where is God?”
By: Innerchild

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co.

WARNING: not beta'd and i rushed to get this up here... so it may be crappy.

READ AUTHOR'S NOTE... OR AT LEAST FROM THE SECOND PARAGRAPH. IT'S IMPORTANT!

A/N: Sorry to have to write this up here, but petpeeve can’t get a proper username or working e-mail addressee, so I need to post my rant up here. Anyway, you really pissed me off. I’m not even upset at the fact that you don’t like my story, that’s fine, cause I can’t please everyone. However, if you can’t understand the concept of a story and then say that my work is crap BECAUSE of that, then that’s your problem for not being able to grasp or read what is spelled out right in front of your eyes.

And I’m just gonna stop right there ‘cause I have more important things to say. I’m really sorry this chapter is so late. I didn’t mean for it to be. I just had no desire to write a depressing chapter… again. But it just kind of happened. And I really don’t know how people are going to react to Hanabi in this chapter… the scene between Hinata and her little sister just kind of wrote itself one night when I couldn’t sleep… and yeah, you’ll see.

Okay, now I’m done with my rambling. Thank you to everyone else that reviewed and made me happy! You guys really put a smile on my face and made me what to keep writing this. I have some problems at the moment, that I’ve actually had for awhile now, and I’m trying to deal with them. Nothing I do seems to be helping though, and I’ve thought about discontinuing or passing this story along to someone else a lot lately. And I really don’t want to do that. So sorry if the updates are a bit spaced out. But I won’t just stop writing this. If I feel the need to pass it to someone else, then I will warn you and find someone else to write it.

“Religion is a collective insanity.” – Mikhail a. Bakunin

Chapter seven
The Watchers

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home?”

Naruto nodded his head as he thanked the brunette again.

“Anytime. I better see you at school tomorrow, Uzumaki.” Haku warned gently.

“Sure,” he answered as he shut the car door and watched Haku pull away. He felt kind of bad for making the young man late to work, but he really didn’t feel like going to school today. Especially not in a soaking wet, slightly stained with something that he hoped was mayonnaise, even though he didn’t remember having any lately, and overall dirty uniform with no book bag or supplies.

He turned around and started to walk down the street, going past random bars and antique shops. Most places were closed this early in the morning, but this was the only place Naruto could think of to go at the moment. When he got to the bookstore, he noticed with a small smile that it was actually open. He pushed the door open and was greeted by the chiming of a bell overhead.

A man with thick white hair stood behind the cash register, trying to place some dirty magazines on a top shelf.

“Need some help, old man,” Naruto asked as he stopped in front of the register and rested his chin on his palms.

Jiriaya turned around, completely forgetting about the pornographic material above him, and looked towards the teen. The magazines slid from the ledge and fell on his head.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered to himself as his nephew laughed lightly. He looked over at the blonde and took in the wet clothes, worn out expression, and dull blue eyes.

“You look like shit, kid.”

“Thanks,” Naruto muttered, his gaze floating around the room in a nervous manner. Jiriaya watched him for a few moments before going over to the door and placing the open sign to closed. He didn’t even bother to lock the door as he went towards the staircase in the back that led to his apartment on the second floor.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold.”

XXXXX

The seat was empty. It had been empty since the beginning of second period, and now it was almost time for the bell to ring. Where was that idiot? It wasn’t like him to skip class.

Sasuke took his eyes off the chair next to him as class ended. He gathered his things and took one last look at the desk before leaving the room. In his next class, he spent most of his time staring at the rain outside the window. He wanted to brush his fingers along the glass and feel the cold seep into his skin, but made no move to do so.

The droning voice of his teacher and the nasty weather outside put his mind into a foggy state. He couldn’t concentrate on the material in front of him and he didn’t really try to either. He just kept on replaying yesterday’s events in his mind. He was still confused about the way they had kissed and touched earlier. He had honestly never been gentle with anyone. Probably because no one had bothered being gentle with him.

But it didn’t really concern him as much as it used to. Now, he just wondered what they were to each other. Were they just friends? Or were they becoming more?

He knew he liked spending time with Naruto, whether they were talking or… engaging in other activities. He liked the fact that the boy could make him smile and laugh, even when he was having a shitty day.

A smile touched Sasuke’s lips as he thought about the conversation they had the night before.

Before going to bed, Naruto started telling him about the girl who lived down the hall from him. At first, Sasuke felt a little jealous. Though he didn’t know why, until the teen told him that she was the sisterly type. Then the blonde had started telling him how she had offered to help him dress in drag.

Sasuke had literally gone bug eyed and asked him if he was serious. Naruto had laughed and snuggled deeper into his naked chest before answering. And after Naruto had told him that it was true, he had started choking on his own spit like an idiot.

He still couldn’t picture the boy in a dress and make-up. Although, he wouldn’t mind seeing that. He would just make sure to take a lot of pictures and keep them for blackmail later on.

The smile on Sasuke’s face faded into a scowl as he thought about the last thing his friend had said before falling asleep in his arms. Sasuke did not agree with him on it at all. And he never would.

Sasuke did not think that he would make a pretty girl, no matter what the dobe said. And his features weren’t… girly, either.

XXXXX

The door to her room opened. There was no knock or warning that someone was even going to enter. A small girl of about twelve stood in the doorway, her unusually pale eyes staring at Hinata in an unnerving manner.

“Did you want something, Hanabi?”

Hinata’s little sister narrowed her eyes at her as the hand on the door knob tightened.

“Mom says that you have to give me a ride to school. She can’t take me.” Those two sentences had been more than the girl had said to Hinata in weeks. Usually the younger girl locked herself in her room all day and didn’t come out until dinner time. Of course, they had stopped eating at the table since their mom took on another job and didn’t come home until late. But that just meant that Hinata had more to do around the house now. Feeding her and her sister was only one of them.

Hinata stared at her little sister. She knew the girl hated her. And she didn’t blame her either. Hanabi was the only other person who blamed her for their father’s death.

“All right,” she whispered in a dull voice. Her attitude at home was different from the one at school, like it was for most teenagers. Whereas she acted timid around others at school, she was seen as quiet and withdrawn at home. Hanabi was somewhat the same, but her temper usually flared up more often nowadays and she was always yelling at their mother.

The older of the two siblings finished getting ready before heading out. The two girls walked in silence to the car and drove in the same uncomfortable atmosphere. When Hinata slowed down behind a few other cars in front of her sister’s middle school, she looked away from the road. Her eyes immediately fell onto her sibling.

Hanabi was small for her age. She was thin and flat chested, and would have looked like a boy had she not grown her hair out. Her skin was paler than Hinata’s and held an almost unhealthy blue tint to it. Dark smudges were always present under her eyes, though the girl tried to cover it up with thick eyeliner.

The pre-teen shifted in her seat as she felt her sister’s eyes on her. The black sleeve of her shirt lifted up slightly and Hinata found herself staring. Where there should have been pale, milky skin, were light blue and purple bruises over her wrist. Red lines marred her arm in deep gashes and scabs. Without thinking, Hinata took her sister’s arm and pulled the sleeve all the way up to her shoulder.

Hanabi tried to slap her hand away, but the other girl just tightened her grip.

Thick pink and purple scars decorated her upper arm and at the crook of her elbow. Fresh cuts and more small bruises stared back up at her momentarily before the girl ripped her arm away.

The two girls just stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. Finally, a car honked behind them and Hinata turned back around to face the road. She moved the car forward, her eyes staring blankly at the steering wheel.

Just when Hanabi thought that her sister wasn’t going to say anything, too overcome in disgust, she heard a low voice.

“Why?” Hinata whispered out in a breathless manner. Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden?

Hanabi actually smiled at her. She looked down at her arm and traced over a new slit that looked like it wanted to start bleeding again.

“It feels… so good. To see your own skin tear and rip apart easily under the tip of a blade is one of the most thrilling things in life. It hurts sometimes, but it’s always a relief to the other pain. To the pain you put me through.” She said in a voice that was soft and yet hysterical at the same time.

Hinata took a shaky breath and glanced to the side at her sister. The girl was scratching her nails along her skin while watching the scabs flake off and start to bleed.

“S-stop it,” Hinata found herself whispering as she stared at the pink, tender flesh that had been under the shells of dry blood.

“Oh come on, this should be easy to look at compared to watching dad die. You watched his body freeze up and fall flat on the floor as his face turned red. Was it hard to look at him taking his last gasp of air, knowing that you could have helped him? Hell, you probably could have saved his life, but you did-”

“I couldn’t move…” Hinata whispered suddenly, a distant look forming in her already foggy eyes. Hanabi shut her mouth and gazed at her sibling.

“…he just stared at me, and all I could do was stand there, shaking. I… saw it all. I saw him try to get up from the floor, his hair falling down in his face and onto the floor. I couldn’t see his face after that… all I could see were his hands. He was trying to pull the collar of his shirt down… and…and that’s when I moved. I unbuttoned the top three buttons… I remember fumbling with them and counting them out loud as he stopped moving. And I just sat there… staring at him…until I started shaking him, but he wouldn’t wake up. No matter how loud I called his name, he wouldn’t answer me back. He just…”

Hanabi watched as her older sister curled her fingers around the steering wheel. Tears were slowly falling down her face as she bowed her head. Hanabi remembered coming home that night with her mom and hearing her older sister yelling at her dad to get up. Everything had passed by in a blur after that. The ambulance arriving, people rushing by and knocking into her, voices calmly analyzing the situation, and then her mother pulling her into a hug.

She still didn’t know why her mother had hugged her when she hadn’t been the one crying. She guessed that maybe a part of her mother had also blamed Hinata for their father’s death.

The girl got out of the car and slung her book bag over her shoulder as a few cars went around her sister’s car. An officer directing traffic ran over to the dark green vehicle and tapped on the window. When Hinata didn’t move to answer him, he beat on the window again. He got the same lack of response.

Hanabi walked towards the front entrance of her school as the officer tried to open the car door. It was locked. The man in uniform panicked as he called another officer over to help him. They were both trying to talk to her through the window and open the other doors at the same time. Hinata couldn’t even hear them.

The younger Hyuuga walked faster towards the school’s bathrooms, suddenly feeling the familiar itch in her arms that told her what she needed.

XXXXX

“So… you actually yelled at your dad?”

Naruto nodded his head, but kept his eyes transfixed on the mug of black coffee in his hands. The liquid swished around a little as he moved his hands to cup around it like a glove. Warmth spread into his palms and fingers as he sipped at the bitter beverage.

“Well, what’d your mom say?”

“Um… she didn’t really say anything. She... just started crying.” The blonde told him honestly.

Jiriaya sighed. He ran a hand through his bangs as he gazed at the boy. Naruto looked tired. He was curled up on the couch in a pair of his large sweat pants and a baggy shirt with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his eyes were beginning to droop as he stared into his decaffeinated coffee.

“Naruto, you know that you can always come and stay with me if things get out of hand at home. Even if you just want to stay a couple of days to think things over, that’s fine with me.”

Dim blue eyes glanced up at Jiriaya. Naruto wanted to say something, but he couldn’t think of anything. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. He really hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Even though Sasuke’s bed was comfortable, the boy himself liked to kick and hog the covers in his sleep. The only reason why Naruto had even woken up this morning was because he had fallen out of the bed when the other boy kicked him and claimed the entire mattress. It was actually kind of funny to see the Uchiha spread out on the rather large bed in a messy fashion.

“Just think about it, okay?”

Naruto shook himself from his thoughts and nodded before closing his eyes for a moment.

“You can take a nap if you want. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I’ll be down in the store if you need anything.”

He took the mug of coffee from Naruto and placed it on the table before the boy could fall asleep and spill it all over himself. Jiriaya took his own mug to the kitchen and placed it in the sink. With a quick glance at his nephew curling further up on the chair, he made his way to the front door.

“Happy birthday, brat,” he yelled into the living room before heading downstairs. He needed to make a phone call.

In the big, comfy, ugly brown chair, Naruto smiled.

XXXXX

It was the first time she had ever seen her cousin act this way. He was usually calm and almost expressionless. But now… now he was gazing at her worriedly and sighing in relief as the doctor told him what was wrong. Even though she couldn’t hear the doctor explaining the diagnosis, she had already heard it moments before.

It was nothing serious. It wasn’t something she couldn’t handle. She’d be on her feet and back at home in time to make dinner in no time at all. But only if the doctors would let her leave.

A small panic attack was nothing to worry about. They really didn’t need to call her mother, who was unavailable at the time, and then her uncle. While Hizashi listened to the doctor go on about how she needed to rest, Neji slipped into her room. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes and just stared at her.

When Hinata couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, she turned her gaze to her hands on her stomach. The loss of eye contact snapped Neji out of his reverie and he moved across the room until he was standing in front of her.

“Hinata? How are you feeling?” He asked her as he touched one of her hands.

The girl tried to smile up at him, but she knew that he would see pass it. He would be able to see the way it didn’t reach her eyes, which is why she closed them and said, “I’m feeling better.”

But even the small tremble in her voice gave her away. She was not all right, and they both knew it. Now, if one of them could actually admit it aloud then something could be done about it.

Neji could feel her discomfort and decided to break the silence. He let go of her hand and sat down in one of the chairs by the bed. The news he was about to tell her wasn’t good though. He just hoped it wouldn’t make things worse.

“Your mother couldn’t come because she had to go pick up Hanabi.”

Hinata glanced up at him at that. Instead of her eyes being blank or dull, a sliver of worry could be seen in her eyes. Neji continued.

“She was caught cutting in one of the bathrooms this morning. So they made her go to the nurse and wait for your mom to pick her up. They just got out of a meeting with the principal and should be here soon.”

“Is she all right? Are they going to make her see someone or send her to a mental hospital? They can’t do that, right? Did mom say what she was going to-”

“Calm down. She’s fine. And no, they’re not going to send her to some hospital. But she won’t be allowed to go back to school until she gets some kind of help. That’s all your mom said.”

Before Neji could say anything else, a blur of pink and blue ran into the room. Hinata found herself with an armful of a crying Sakura.

“Oh, by the way, Sakura called to know where you were this morning. So I took the liberty of telling her.”

The long haired boy gave her a knowing smile and walked out of the room. A slightly accusing glare followed him out the door.

Hinata looked back down at Sakura and saw that the girl had calmed down somewhat. Watery green eyes gazed up at her and a small smile formed on Sakura’s lips.

“I’m glad that you’re okay. I didn’t know what to think when Neji said you were in the hospital. He didn’t tell me what’s wrong, though. Are you feeling all right? Did the doctors say anything? What happened?” Sakura finally stopped asking so many questions to try and give the other girl time to answer them.

Hinata’s eyes softened a bit and she found herself wrapping her arms tighter around her friend. She could see in the other girl’s eyes that she had more questions, and she would try her best to answer them all.

Even if she hadn’t admitted them aloud to anyone else before.

XXXXX

Why was he here?

Even if Sasuke knew the answer to that question, he probably wouldn’t answer it. All he knew was that when school ended, he found himself walking in the opposite direction of his house. And now… he was standing in front of Naruto’s apartment complex. He would have gone up and knocked on the moron’s door, but he wasn’t sure if his parents were home or not. And he wasn’t about to risk getting the other boy in trouble just to settle his curiosity.

He saw a curtain move in one of the windows on the third floor. The one that he believed to belong to Naruto’s apartment. In case it was one of his parents, he gazed only a few seconds longer before moving down the sidewalk.

XXXXX

Nadine took the watering can to the plant on the windowsill and began to water it. She glanced out the window every few seconds, hoping that she would see Naruto walking down the sidewalk.

However, instead of seeing her son, she saw a boy with black hair and an RJR uniform on. She brushed the curtain back to get a better look at him and dropped the can when she recognized him.

“Nadine? Is everything all right?” She heard her husband call from his office.

“Y-yes. Everything’s fine.” She answered him. She looked towards the extra room that he was working in and noticed that he wasn’t coming to check up on her. So, with light, but hurried steps, she made her way towards the front door.

She slipped out and walked quickly towards the stairs. They were faster than the elevator. Though she wished she would have remembered to grab her shoes.

XXXXX

“Wait!” A voice called out.

Sasuke stopped and turned around, wondering if the person was talking to him. He saw Mrs. Uzumaki running barefoot towards him and raised an eyebrow at her.

She stopped in front of him and caught her breath. Sasuke waited patiently to hear what she had to say. She wouldn’t have run all the way down her to just chew him out… would she?

“D-did you want to see… Naruto?” She asked hesitantly.

Sasuke cocked his head to the side slightly before answering her.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Nadine clasped her hands together and rung them nervously. She didn’t really know why she was doing this. She was going against her husband by doing this, but… Naruto seemed happy around this boy. She had seen the way he had smiled the other day when she caught them kissing. Nadine hadn’t seen her son smile like that in awhile.

“He… ran out this morning. And hasn’t come home yet,” she told him, her eyes glancing up at his every few seconds.

“My brother called and said that he’s over there right now. I haven’t gone to get him yet because he needs some time and I don’t trust my husband to not start another argument so soon. So, when you see him can you tell him that I love him? And that he can come home when he wants too? Also… tell him happy birthday,” she asked him.

Sasuke blinked in surprise and nodded his head. She smiled at him.

“Do you know where… where the Marmalade book store is?” She whispered the name of the store in an embarrassed manner and looked away from him.

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s where he’s at. My brother owns the store…”

Sasuke grinned at her as she sighed.

“Thank you,” he told her in a sincere manner. He meant it too.

“You’re welcome.”

She told him goodbye before moving back into the building. Sasuke started walking towards the store, a small smile on his face. He had an inkling that Naruto’s mother knew what was going on between them, but he’d keep that to himself for now. If the woman did know, then he just found a new set of respect for her.

XXXXX

The curtain fell back to its original position as Kazuma turned away from the window. He went to go sit on the couch and wait for his wife to come back in. They needed to discuss a few things.

TBC

Okay, you guys know the drill. You want more, then you gotta ask for it!

love ya,
innerchild