Sway

Knowing changed everything.

It seemed with knowledge came awareness. Now that he was sure what the feeling was, he was plagued constantly. Circumstance and memory working together to paint vivid pictures within his mind.

How long had he felt this way? The more he thought on it, the further back he could recall feeling more for the blond than friendship. It became increasingly upsetting, as he wandered deeper into their past.

Blond hair that shone like a lopsided halo in the sun. Bright blue, expressive eyes that captivated. A smile that radiated warmth and understanding, even when the owner felt all too alone. Skin tanned the golden shade of adoring sunlit kisses.

Touches that had been gentle, even as they were fierce. Battle their only means of physical communication and understanding.

Moments that had seared themselves deep into his memory. Odd things. Such as the way the setting sun stretched it’s last rays, desperately reaching. They would always fall just short of a tender caress to the blond’s fair head. Tinting the very edges of his hair, with glistening specks. The way he would tilt subtly to one side, whenever he felt comfortable. As if, in so doing, he was receiving an obscure embrace from the warmth of another.

Neji couldn’t recall ever witnessing Naruto in any embrace – before they’d been assigned their mission. Though he was partial to doubting the younger shinobi had never been granted one, he could not be sure. Nor, could he be sure they would have been welcome. Naruto seemed to him, a person uniquely in tune with life. He was so vibrant and enkindled, witnessing the sad, unyielding truth – that Naruto could, in fact be subject to severe depression – was an almost terrifying ordeal. Having thus witnessed such an occurrence, he also could not reject the probability, that this was not the first time. That perhaps, the blond’s hesitation stemmed from a desire to never truly achieve a depth of happiness where he could not see the players actions.

The thought hurt him; in ways he couldn’t fully comprehend. How could they have been so blind? And if he, in truth, had unknowingly loved Naruto all along, why had he overlooked his suffering?

If he could just determine the exact moment that spark of love had first breathed life…But finding the answer to that, he feared was a far more difficult task than deciding on what to do now that he was aware of it.

Tapping the edge of his brush against the tabletop, he looked away from the blank scroll. How did one write an official inquiry for information they had no business knowing? Except that he had a need for answers. With Naruto quietly protective, nearly secretive about his past, Neji was finding, he knew less and less about the shinobi he loved by the day. This did not sit well with him. Nor did the fact that Naruto’s own requests for answers were steadfastly ignored. To Neji, there was more than suspicious intent involved, and he was determined to settle Naruto’s mind – if not his own – about his past. How else could they have a future?

Neji was intimately aware of how a past could hamper a future. Having lived within its murky guise, and finding himself summarily rescued, he’d be damned, if he’d allow Naruto to experience similar doubt and confusion. The constant ache of worry. That you would never meet the standards set. Never surpass insurmountable goals. Knowing, that even with all your strength, you meant nothing to the world beyond your own misgivings.

Naruto had been the blinding ray of light. The outstretched hand of God, that – with immeasurable mercy – sought to console the lost wretch. He quickly became a pillar, a corner stone. The one simple truth by which Neji would meticulously rule his life. Building on a single smile.

Naruto’s sigh brought him back. Glancing down at the still empty parchment, he wondered if the truth – Naruto’s truth – could be torn asunder by what was being kept from him. After all, did not both the Sandaime and the Godaime favor him? They similarly, turned a blind eye to his reckless antics. They individually, took him aside. It didn’t matter which Hokage sat in the chair, Naruto was always sitting across the large desk.

The Godaime, he knew, loved Naruto very much. Surely, if she did know, she would protect him, by not telling him? But, was not telling him right?

There was a rustling of sheets as Naruto turned over.

Neji’s side of the bed had long since cooled.

Through the window, the moonlight drifted, caressing the form of Naruto’s disguise. Neji felt his heart clench, as he momentarily wished the jutsu would fail. Seeing Naruto that singular moment, weeks ago…discovering the taste of his true mouth…Neji longed for more.

He sighed. They still had a little over half a year. And while the completion of their mission would mean a return to Naruto’s true form, he couldn’t help but feel conflicted. For, it would also hail the end of their love affair.

Neji was not crass enough to believe they’d have a chance when they returned to the village.

His duty was to his family. They would not approve. Not that he would inform them. However, if they did, eventually find out…if he allowed himself to be swayed by his love for the blond…if they were caught…

He rubbed fiercely at his eye, betraying the wetness there. There was an ache in his chest that would not cease, or lessen. The more he thought about it…

"Neji…?"

He did not move, feeling Naruto cross the room. As the sun traversed the sky. Bringing with him all the warmth and understanding of his character. The true nature of his soul.

Hands slipped over his shoulders, gliding up his neck into his hair.

"Neji…why are you crying?"

He wanted to deny it. Tried to, in fact. However, as soon as he opened his mouth, the only thing that came out was a sob. Horrified, he drew Naruto close, burying his face in the other’s shoulder. How unlike him to cry. And yet, he couldn’t stop. Pulling Naruto closer and closer, until he was sure the younger could barely breathe.

Naruto, however, was Naruto.

He didn’t ask again. He didn’t say a thing. With a reassuring sound from deep in his throat, he held the brunette just as tightly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Neji was mortified.

He hadn’t cried like he had since…well, never.

Nor had he cried in front of someone since they branded him in his childhood, with the seal that would ensure he didn’t weep again for roughly a decade. Thankfully, his out of the blue, completely temporary breakdown had been in front of Naruto. If there was anyone to cry in front of…Naruto should definitely be that person.

Not that he intended on crying. Ever, ever again.

Frustrated, he paced the living room. Naruto was still asleep. He’d been sleeping more and more often of late. Neji was glad, because he had two weeks of not sleeping to catch up on. He really shouldn’t have considered that, perhaps, Naruto was sleeping too much.

He just…always appeared so tired.

The villagers didn’t seem worried about it, though. In fact, they seemed to think it was wonderful. As they felt, the nausea was also, something positive. They would smile as they handed him various concoctions, home made potions and remedies.

"How is Nanako-san today?" they would ask, with pleased grins.

When he would inform them that she was not getting any better, given the vast supply of counter actives they’d graciously provided, they would simply hand him another, tell him to make sure Nanako was comfortable, and giddily – in the case of the women – bid him good day.

Neji was starting to wonder if he should call a healer.

It wasn’t that Naruto was sick, per se. He was just…off. He shuffled around the house, mumbling to himself. A tin of flat crackers in one hand, a glass of water in the other. Occasionally, he’d pause in front of an object, look it over with great consideration, fiddle idly with it, get frustrated, and storm off.

He assured his suspicious lover, that he was fine. He no longer thought back on his encounter with Uchiha Itachi and his entrapment within Tsukuyomi. He wasn’t bothered by the desire to recapture Uchiha Sasuke, most days. Neji was unsure whether or not to take his dismissal of the Uchihas as a victory.

On the days Naruto left the house, his interaction with the villagers was…incongruous. Not where the shinobi was concerned, but in the way the villagers approached him.

People went out of their way to smile and bid him a greeting. The vendors gave him extra of everything he bought, sometimes smiling when he broached them with a request, sometimes shaking their heads and giving him something else instead.

The women flocked to him. Speaking in various pitches of excitement and anticipation. Casually mentioning tidbits of knowledge Naruto felt he did not need, but indulged all the same. Ushering him to certain stalls, aglow with satisfaction, when he did not argue. Accepting every generous offer.

When Neji had confronted him about it, he had just shrugged casually and admitted he had absolutely no idea why they were acting so strangely toward him. Though, he’d thought, as Neji had, that perhaps, they still felt a need to care for the pair, in the wake of the Itachi incident.

That excuse, however, was growing ever more dissentious by the day.

Naruto shuffled into the room, rubbing at one temple. Shaking his head, he grumbled something about "Useless Foxes" and disappeared into the bathroom. Neji, curious, followed.

"Are you all right?" he asked, as he watched the blond rifle through the medicine cabinet.

"I have a headache," Naruto growled.

Neji, unfamiliar with why such a simple, everyday pain should annoy the blond to such an end shifted his weight, and prepared to bring up what they did not speak of.

"Maybe, you should see someone."

Naruto frowned, the look oddly familiar on the female face.

"I’m fine," he replied. "Besides, you know we can’t risk it."

"Naruto, there are no shinobi in this village. They won’t even notice your chakra."

Naruto sighed, pausing to hang his head in momentary defeat. "What if it’s my chakra that’s the problem?"

Neji’s brow furrowed.

"I’ve never held a jutsu this long, Neji…"

Activating his byakugan, Neji began to look him over. Naruto – whether trying to be helpful or just looking for comfort – turned to face him. After a few moments, he looked up, but Neji didn’t notice.

"What’s wrong?" he asked. From the tone of voice, Neji knew he’d failed once more in keeping his emotions to himself.

"Naruto…didn’t you dispel the illusion?"

"What illusion?"

"The one you used on Uchiha."

"I did."

Neji shook his head. "I’m looking right at it, Naruto. And it’s…bigger."

Naruto groaned, and pressed a palm to one eye. "’ll…never forgive me…" he mumbled, before inhaling deeply. Neji watched as the settled chakra swirled, then started to dissipate. He nodded encouragingly, but stopped short as Naruto gave a cry of pain and doubled over.

Blinking, Neji dispelled his byakugan and, catching Naruto by the arms, dropped in front of him.

"Are you all right?!"

Naruto hissed through his teeth, before cursing violently, and – with Neji’s help – easing unto the floor. "Fuck…that hurt!"

Neji felt a headache coming on himself.

"Naruto, we need to contact the Hokage. She can send-"

"No!"

"Naruto…"

"I can fix this Neji!"

"Don’t be so stubborn."

Naruto shook his head. "I won’t let us fail this mission, Neji. I can’t."

"Naruto, if there’s something wrong with you-…with your chakra, then we have no choice."

He watched as the blond took several deep, calming breaths.

They were at an impasse.

"If…If I see someone here, will you not tell Baa-chan?"

"Naruto-"

"If there’s something wrong with me physically, that we can fix-"

"But, it’s not physical."

"But, if it is…Can we just make sure it’s not something else first? …Please, Neji…"

Neji sighed, already knowing he’d lost.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They’d finally given in, and had made an appointment with the village doctor. He was no med-nin, but he would do. All Neji needed for him to do was diagnose Naruto as perfectly healthy, so he could write the Godaime, and drag Naruto home.

He didn’t care if it meant they’d never see each other again, if it meant correcting something that could potentially cost Naruto his life, if untreated. Neji wanted to be selfish, but not in the face of his lover’s wellbeing.

Naruto still wasn’t happy about being forced to see a doctor. However, he was so intent on completing the mission, he was willing to go, hoping it was in fact an illness of some kind. What Neji did not know, was that his lover was rapidly feeling dread well up within the pit of his stomach. Not because he may be sick, but because it should be impossible.

Neji simply took Naruto’s discomfort as his general dislike for hospital stays.

Not that he could blame him.

Neji insisted on being present for the examination, so Naruto could not charm his way out of this. He knew a desperate Naruto was a dangerous Naruto. And hazarding the risks, was not something he was willing to forgo.

Throughout the exam, Neji watched with careful eyes, wishing he could use his byakugan to ensure everything went along without consequence. Naruto smiled and chatted, answering all the doctor’s questions, with brave confidence. The brunette knew he was trying to maneuver his will into the situation and was determined to quash his hopes.

Naruto would go home and be seen by shinobi specialists.

Whether he liked it or not.

It was a long wait for the results. At least, it felt that way. After having watched the doctor prod, poke, and touch for almost an hour, Neji was not in the best of moods. He knew Naruto’s jutsu was completely impenetrable, but it didn’t keep him from feeling a rush of nervous energy race through his system at every curious probe. Nor did it make him any happier, that someone else was touching his love. It didn’t factor in that perhaps, he was jealous…perhaps possessive…and that feelings as strong as those would not go unacknowledged for long.

When the doctor returned, he was accompanied by a nurse, who smiled warmly at the pair.

Naruto smiled back.

Neji nodded.

"Well…it seems, Hayashi-san, that you are in perfect health."

Neji fought the urge to smirk triumphantly, as Naruto huffed, "That’s impossible!"

"Oh, no, I assure you, Nanako-san, you are quite well."

"Thank you, doctor."

"You’re welcome, Seiichi-san." He flipped through his clipboard. "Now, about starting you on vitamins..."

Both shinobi stared blankly, and it was a moment before the doctor noticed. "I’m sorry...did you have a question?"

"I thought you said Nanako was fine," Neji replied, gripping Naruto’s shoulders.

"And so she is."

"Then why do I need vitamins?"

It was the doctor’s turn to stare. And then – much to the pair of shinobi’s dismay – laughed. From the like frowns he received, he quickly sobered. "I apologize. I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Congratulations, Seiichi-san. Nanako-san. You’re going to be parents."

It was several moments of silence, before Neji and Naruto began to laugh. The doctor looked to the nurse, who shrugged in response. "I assure you, I am quite serious." His reply, only made Naruto laugh harder.

"Look," he replied, after several minutes, in which he collected himself. Neji, had unfortunately, sobered upon the doctor’s affirmation. "That’s not possible. I can’t get pregnant."

"So I’ve heard. This is truly a miracle."

Neji felt sick.

"Congratulations, Nanako-san. You’re going to be a mother."

Neji didn’t get the chance to overload.

A moment later, Naruto beat him. Falling back in a dead faint.