Role Play

A/N: Love meh, for I have returned with another chapter! (Crickets chirp)…err, guys? Oh, and I come with a brand, spanking new Beta! (Smacks Adi on the butt and is immediately slapped with a lawsuit). Yeah, all my stories were un-beta-ed, but she’s here to change all that madness! Thank you Adi! For your brave sacrifice and selflessness, this chapter is dedicated to you! XD
Anywho, a few items of business: first a confession. Hi, my name is KageKitsuneXXX/KamikazeXXX (not her real names), and I am a review addict. Yup, I’m putting my pride aside and wibbling on the ground for you to review. I just love hearing from you guys and hearing what you think, constructive criticisms, ‘like OMG’s and everything. As of the end of this week, I will officially be an unemployed college grad for an undetermined period of time, so your reviews are all I have going for me. So please review, pretty please? (Puppy eyes) Secondly, I will continue to foist my favourite music upon you under the guise of ‘mood music’ for the fic. (Shifty eyes) And finally, for you readers that have stuck with the story since you found it, have offered all this amazing encouragement and waited patiently for Chapter 8, with minimal death threats, I have included a special surprise for you at the end of the chapter! The keys to your brand new car!! What? What do you mean the boat with the cars sank?! You have any idea what those freaking things cost?! (Cough) Correction, at the end of the chapter will be ANOTHER surprise. Now enough of my chatter, on with chapter 8!

Disclaimer: Don’t own or have any affiliation with the group ‘Simple Plan’. The song used is ‘Addicted’

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I heard you’re doing okay, but I want you to know; I’m addic- I’m addicted to you.
I can’t pretend I don’t care, when you don’t think about me. Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy, but you left anyway.
I’m trying to forget that I’m addicted to you. But I want it, and I need it- I’m addicted to you.
Now it’s over, can’t forget what you said. And I never want to do this again. Heartbreaker…
Since the day I met you, and after all we’ve been through: still addic- I’m addicted to you.
I think you know that it’s true, I’d run a thousand miles to get you. Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy; I did all that I could just to keep you, but you left anyway.
I’m trying to forget that I’m addicted to you. But I want it, and I need it- I’m addicted to you.
Now it’s over, can’t forget what you said. And I never want to do this again. Heartbreaker…

How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time...
I don't know why I'm still waiting. I can't make you mine.


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“This is all wrong!” Lee blinked as Sakura stalked about their bedroom, ranting to herself.

“Wrong?”

“Naruto and Sasuke…they aren’t going according to the plan!”

“Plan?” Lee questioned as he watched Sakura wear a path into their pink carpet.

“Sasuke was supposed to confess his love. Okay, so he finally did that. Then, Naruto was supposed to eagerly return his affection; they’d become a couple and we could go out on double dates and such like things! Naruto is totally screwing up my plans! I haven’t a clue how to fix all this!”

“Fix?”

“Lee, if you can’t to do anything but play ‘echo’ all night, at least stay quiet while I try to think. How am I going to fix this mess?!”

“Sakura…there is nothing for you to fix. Leave it alone.” Lee stretched and spread out on the bed, while Sakura stopped pacing and gaped at him.

“Nothing to fix? Nothing to fix?! Are you kidding me?! My two best friends are hurting right now. One is so deep in the closet that I have to ask him to pass my shoes and the other is sinking further into the angst that is unrequited love. And if Sasuke gets any more emo, he’ll create his own black hole. And there is nothing to fix?! They so need me to do something.”

Lee only smiled and Sakura was moved to ask him what was so amusing by bashing him over the head with a pillow.

“It is just the idea of you and ‘fixing’ Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun’s relationship. If it were completely up to you Sakura, I would have committed eye-brow suicide a long time ago and still have nothing to show for my efforts.”

“Huh?”

“When I was pursuing you, I thought that if I only tried that much harder, eventually things would fall into place. It was Gai-sensei who told me that it was one of the few times effort was not the answer. That for once, I had to let things happen and simply have faith. I believe it is the same for our friends. You just have to let them work it out on their own. Gai-sensei has never been wrong”

A vein in Sakura’s temple throbbed. It never ceased to irk her that Gai-sensei of all people, had been more intuitive about her own love life than she had been. It was always Lee’s trump card- all he had to do was remind her how averse she had been to him and the idea of a relationship; and he automatically won (postponed), the argument. Sakura ploughed on regardless though, this time the stakes were different.

“But they’re miserable. You can’t expect me not to do anything…”

“Do you believe that they should be together? That they are meant to be with each other?”

“Well yeah…”

“Then there is no need to worry. Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun have a unique relationship that only they completely understand. They will sort it out in their own way and in their own time. Let it be.”

“But…”

“Sakura, promise me you will not interfere.” Sakura sputtered a bit and then capitulated ungraciously.

“Fine, but if they don’t get together and are miserable for the rest of their lives, I am soooo blaming you!” Lee stood and flashed his ‘nice guy’ pose, teeth glinting and all.

“As well you should! But I am confident in the never failing advice of Gai-sensei!”

Sakura was about to stifle him with a pillow when her beeper went off.


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Sasuke had been staring at his phone, willing it to ring ever since Sakura had gone off to see Naruto. He had been so focused on it, that when his doorbell rang, he had pounced on the phone instead. The buzzing dial tone confused him, until he heard the doorbell go off again. He opened the door to reveal a jumpy, nervous-looking Naruto.
They stared at each other a little before Naruto grinned broadly and nervously scratched the back of his head.

“Hey teme…can we talk?”

Sasuke blinked a bit more before he stepped aside and let Naruto in. Sasuke didn’t know what to make of this. He had thought that he’d have to coax Naruto into seeing him again, but then again Naruto was always a direct person.

“I’m sorry.” They had spoke simultaneously, making the other pause and stare some more. It was Naruto who was quicker off the mark.

“What exactly are you sorry about?”

Sasuke was momentarily at a loss. He wasn’t sorry…about anything, but Sakura had basically said that he had committed a faux pas somewhere. So he had figured an apology, as much as he hated it, was the best way to get the ball rolling.

“I guess…I shouldn’t have come on so strong?” It came out as a query; he was just making stuff up as he went along. He tried to remember what Sakura had yelled at him about. “I should probably have, umm, given you more time to adjust to my confession? What are you sorry about?”

“I shouldn’t have run out of here like that…” Naruto sighed and continued. “… and I should have dealt with this a long time before now.”

“Well it’s only been a little over a day (26 hours and 43 minutes actually, but who’s counting?).” Naruto was rubbing the back of his neck agitatedly.

“Yeah, well that’s the other thing I wanted to apologise to you about. For, umm, acting as if I didn’t know before hand.”

“What?”

“I thought you were over it! I swear I did! Everything seemed completely back to normal. You were out with a different girl almost every night and you were annoyed with me as always and…”

“Wait, you are saying you knew how I felt before this? How could you have known?! You couldn’t have! I hid it so well!”

Naruto stopped his nervous blabbering to deadpan and roll his eyes at the man before him.

“Look, I know I’m not the smartest person in the world, but I’m not that dumb Sasuke. You turn funny shades of purple when I don’t have a shirt on, you dress girls up to look like me, and you get yourself off to the sound of my voice…” Sasuke instantly turned tomato-red.

“I-I DO NOT!”

“Please, you make more noise than an obscene phone caller. Well, technically that was an obscene phone call. And I’m a doctor…I think I can detect the difference between someone throwing up and someone getting their rocks off in the bathroom. Che, but I swear I thought you had completely moved on. It wasn’t until you brought that clone-girl to me, that I realized that maybe you still had some feelings for me.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since the day you came back. But after a few months, you seemed to go right back to normal, so I didn’t worry about it. I figured whatever feelings you had, went away.”

“Its love Naruto not the…”

“…flu, yeah I heard. Hence the apology.” Sasuke didn’t even care about that right now. When he had time to digest it, he would probably strangle Naruto later. Now all he wanted was a resolution.

“So what now?” The question appeared to shock Naruto.

“Now?”

“Now that you know, and I know that you know. And you know that I know that you know, you know.” Oh god, he sounded like a moron. Maybe he was catching Naruto’s stupid-disease.

“Can’t we just pretend we don’t know anything? I’m pretty good at it. I could teach you.” Sasuke wanted to knock the stupid, strained grin right off the blond’s face.

“What?” Naruto’s agitation was increasing, and it was making him more nervous and agitated in turn.

“Look, why do we need to change anything? What we have is fine. What you want will only complicate things. Can’t we just go back to the way things were…before your confession?”

“You can’t go back to not knowing something Naruto. The truth is out there…” And now he was quoting the X-files; Sasuke ran a hand over his face. “…I mean, no I’m not going to go back to how things were before!”

“But…we’re like brothers…”

“I already have a brother! If I ever caught myself thinking about him the way I think about you, I’ll commit…”

“…seppuku, I heard that line somewhere before too. We’d just screw this up and hurt each other! It’s me and you Sasuke... that kind of shit is almost inevitable!”

“I wouldn’t hurt you Naruto, I love you…”

“That little ‘fact’ has never stopped you before!” Sasuke recoiled as if Naruto had slapped him in the face. Naruto, in turn, clamped his mouth shut.

“You still haven’t gotten over that. You don’t trust me…”

“I shouldn’t have said that. Just forget it, I didn’t mean it. YOU SEE? This is exactly what I’m talking about! We can’t do this. I can’t do this Sasuke. I can’t do what you want.”

“And I can’t do what you want. I can’t go back to the way things were, just because you don’t want to deal with the situation!” Naruto raised and dropped his hands, his exasperation evident.

“Why the hell not?!”

“Because it isn’t enough! Not anymore…” Naruto’s expression became one of pleading.

“You would end our friendship for this? For something that may not even work? You’re my best friend Sasuke; I don’t want to lose that.”

“I don’t want to either.” Sasuke said sincerely, before sitting on the arm of his couch. “That’s why I’ll offer you a deal.”

“Deal?” Naruto’s look was one of deep suspicion.

“Yeah, I won’t pretend as if all this simply didn’t happen. But I could accept that we can’t have a romantic relationship and willingly remain as just friends if you could do one little thing.” Sasuke’s heart was pounding. This felt like a huge risk which could easily backfire. What if he was wrong?

“Do what?” Naruto didn’t kid himself into thinking Sasuke was going to let him off easy.

“Shouldn’t be hard. Just look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”

“What?” Naruto looked at him as if he hadn’t heard him correctly.

“It’s the only reason that makes sense. The only reason I could see that a relationship wouldn’t work. If you don’t love me, then we can end the argument right here and we’re just best friends. Just look me in the eyes and say it, Naruto. Then everything can go back to normal, for want of a better word.” Sasuke crossed his arms and watched the blond steadily, waiting.

Naruto was staring at Sasuke as if he was anticipating a part two to the deal, but the man said nothing. That was simple enough, just look the bastard in the eyes and tell him he didn’t love him. This deal was a god-send, and he was surprised that Sasuke could be that reasonable.

But something felt wrong with Naruto as he prepared himself for the small task. Maybe he was coming down with something- his whole body felt out of whack. His lips were dry but his palms were sweating. He smoothed his hands down his jeans and licked his lips; Sasuke was just staring at him, not even blinking. He could see the tension in Sasuke’s body as the man seemed to be bracing for what he had to say. Naruto inhaled and let fly the words.

“Idon’tloveyou” It came out in a rush, a quickly exhaled breath, barely audible and even less coherent.

Sasuke stared and blinked. There was a moment of silence, and then another. Then a heartbeat later, Sasuke burst out laughing. Naruto was surprised to say the least; then he was indignant. He didn’t see what was so funny; the bastard could at least be a little heartbroken.

“What the hell’s so funny?” Sasuke was almost doubling over. Relief washed the tension and dread out of his muscles, barely leaving him any support to stay upright. He hiccupped as he tried to answer the annoyed blond.

“The fact that, even though you were staring at my neck, you still can’t lie worth shit, dobe!” Naruto coloured as Sasuke fell back to laughing.

“I wasn’t lying, you bastard!” Sasuke peeked up at him, still clutching his stomach, now crazy with confidence.

“Yeah? Want to try again then?” Naruto resisted the urge to stomp his foot in frustration. This wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to be going.

“I don’t have to prove a thing to you! I don’t care what you delude yourself into believing.”

“You love me.” Sasuke stated simply as he stood and took a step closer to the blond, who was now working himself into a fine rage.

“Whether I do or I don’t- and I’m not saying that I do! - is moot here. I’m telling you, that what you want won’t happen!” Naruto wanted to shove his foot down the smug bastard’s throat as he stood there smiling like the ass he was.

“You love me.” Sasuke chanted again as he took another step closer. Naruto wasn’t even cognizant of the fact that Sasuke was pulling closer. Instead he raised a shaking finger at the infuriating jackass, desperately trying to keep in mind the heavy sentence a murder charge carried.

“STOP SAYING THAT!! AND WIPE THAT STUPID LOOK OFF YOUR FACE YOU…what are you doing?”

Naruto’s volume dropped to a barely audible squeak, as Sasuke bent forward and deliberately licked the finger pointed at him.

“You love me.” Sasuke said huskily, before moving to suck lightly at the digit.

Naruto seemed to take root in the floor as he locked eyes with the man molesting him.

“No I don’t. I really don’t…stop doing that…” Naruto’s voice got incrementally softer as he watched his finger disappear and reappear from Sasuke’s mouth. This really wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Okay” Sasuke released Naruto’s finger and then, using a move Naruto couldn’t even register, was pressed against him, lips moving against his.

Sasuke was kissing him, open mouthed and heated, and he wasn’t doing a damn thing to stop him. He felt a tongue slide across his teeth and he dumbly granted it further access. He felt his jacket being pushed off and he shifted slightly only to let it fall unhindered to the floor. He really needed to do something before this got out of control.

Sasuke hissed Naruto’s hands fisted into his hair, pulling him closer. He felt Naruto’s tongue invade his mouth and a warm hand slide under his t-shirt. He later let out a gasp of surprise and pleasure when his back connected with the kitchen counter and Naruto gave a firm thrust upward and against him. Sasuke vaguely wondered if Naruto had a kink about grinding him into inanimate objects. He probably wouldn’t be satisfied until Sasuke became embedded into the woodwork of the walls of the house.

His thought processes broke down completely as Naruto started to lick and gnaw at his lower lip, a hand still gripping his hair as the other roved freely about his body. Naruto touched him as if he were already naked; and Sasuke swore he could feel the tips of Naruto’s fingers grazing over his rapidly heating-skin. His head was tilted to the side and his hair brushed back, revealing the bright, angry-looking bruise Naruto had put there just a day before. He sighed and shuddered as Naruto blew over it and kissed along the edges before moving to attack the other side of his neck. Sasuke also realized then, that if this little game of theirs continued much longer; he would wind up being nothing but a walking collection of splotchy hickeys and bruises.

“Why can’t I say no to you?” Naruto whispered as he tugged off Sasuke’s shirt and moved to lick his exposed collar bone. “You’re in my blood. You’re like a freaking addiction.”

Sasuke could empathize, but he just couldn’t speak. Naruto lips brushed along his jaw line, grazed beneath his ear and sucked at his throat. Both of the blond’s hands were now devoted to gliding over Sasuke’s heaving chest, down to taut, clenching stomach, and back up to rub over sensitized, hardened nipples.

Sasuke groaned and arched up as the rough pad of Naruto’s thumb was suddenly replaced with a moist tongue.

“Naruto…” The name came out as a tortured sigh as the other man alternated between licking and sucking on the hard nub. Sasuke sank both hands into the bright blond hair, tightening his grip when he felt Naruto’s knuckles graze his abdomen as his jeans were unfastened and unzipped.

Naruto pulled Sasuke’s jeans and boxers down to his knees, in one fluid movement. He then moved to assault Sasuke’s other nipple, as a hand snaked behind to palm and squeeze Sasuke’s ass. Sasuke’s felt his body flush and fill with heat. Kami-sama, this is really happening.

“This really isn’t…how it’s supposed to go…” Naruto murmured as he moved his lips down Sasuke’s chest, hands moving to grip the man’s hips to steady him as he moved incrementally lower.

“Naruto…ah, haaa…” Sasuke gasped and shuddered as Naruto’s kissed and licked at his abs, tasting the beads of sweat starting to run down the man’s body. He could not stop the yell that escaped him as Naruto wrapped his fist around his aching erection and slowly slid his hand, once, twice, three times, up and down his length.

At the last minute, before Naruto could taste him, he was tugged up forcefully by the hair and collar, being pulled to his feet. As much as Sasuke wanted it, he didn’t want this ending for him, before he even got a chance to take Naruto’s shirt off.

Naruto apparently understood that, sliding a hand around Sasuke’s waist to pull him firmly against him while the other braced beside Sasuke’s head. This allowed Naruto to lean impossibly close without actually coming in full contact. Sasuke just stared back as Naruto held him in an eye-lock. He would have been nervous that Naruto wasn’t kissing him, afraid that sanity was returning to the blond; but the deep-violet of Naruto’s reassured him that stopping or sanity was the last thing on Naruto’s mind.

The raw lust emanating from Naruto made Sasuke burn. He chewed his lip to keep from yelling as Naruto squeezed a buttock again and dropped the hand lower to stoke the back of his thighs. The colour of Naruto’s eyes was still deepening. All that sexual energy was focused on him…Naruto wanted him, just a much as he wanted Naruto. The thought made Sasuke smirk, the slight movement of his lips distracting Naruto and pulling his gaze to them.

Naruto lifted a brow, staring at the insolent gesture, apparently not amused at its appearance. He was determined to get rid of it. A moment later Naruto’s lips crashed unto Sasuke’s and whatever small remnant of control that remained between the two men snapped.

Sasuke’s hands flew up to Naruto’s collar and he tried to unbutton the shirt. He swore viciously to himself as his trademark grace and dexterity left him. The button remained unyielding. What kind of moron wears this much clothes anyway?

Well screw this.

Sasuke gripped either side of Naruto’s shirt and yanked. The sound of ripping cloth sounded over the moans and sighs of the two men. The offending button hit Sasuke’s tiled kitchen floor, chiming like a small bell. There was more ripping and tearing as one by one, the button’s comrades fell, the ringing sounds driving Sasuke as he pushed off Naruto’s shirt.

He broke the kiss to bite into Naruto’s shoulder, tasting somewhere else bedsides the man’s lips for the first time. Sasuke hissed in annoyance as he fumbled with Naruto’s belt. Where was his goddamned grace when he needed it?

“Sasuke…” The cadence of Naruto’s voice reverberated through him; making him wish he could rip the jeans as easily as he did the shirt. He sucked voraciously at Naruto’s throat as he managed to unfasten the button and unzip the jeans.

He just needed another minute, Sasuke thought as he moved to pull down the blond’s jeans. One more minute and they’d be on his floor, way past the point of no return. And Naruto would have to deal with him and their feelings then, because there was simply no explaining making love away. Naruto had dipped his head to kiss him again, as he pulled down the stubborn jeans and hooked his thumbs into Naruto’s boxers. He just needed another minute…

The sound of Naruto’s beeper going off nearly caused Sasuke’s head to explode.

GODDAMMIT TO HELL, SONOFABITCH, GRANDMOTHERFUCKER, BARBARA STREISAND…

Naruto’s response to the beeper was conditioned and automatic. He immediately stopped and forgot any and all activity as he dived into his sagging pants for the small device.

…HIM AND HIS BABY MOMMA, FREAKING ELECTRICAL DEVICES, I’LL SHOVE THAT BEEPER SO FAR UP HIS…

“It’s the hospital…” Naruto said vaguely, not really addressing anyone. Sasuke was in the process of roughly yanking up his pants, but stopped to blast Naruto with such a glare that, had there been any justice in the world, would have splattered the blond all over his living room.

Cursing as he realized that he wouldn’t be able to zip up his pants with a raging erection, Sasuke abandoned that task and pulled on his t-shirt that had lain abandoned on his floor.

Naruto turned to talk to him and Sasuke watched in fascination and cold amusement as realization finally slammed home. Naruto paled and then flushed red. Can’t be healthy, that kind of rapid-fire change in blood flow. Sasuke thought in amusement as he watched the sputtering blond. Then again, he wasn’t the doctor in the house.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Naruto fairly screeched as he raised an accusatory finger at Sasuke. He seemed to recall how this whole thing got started, and quickly dropped it, as he moved to put his clothes back in order.

Sasuke remained mute, only watching the spastic movements of the blond as he zipped and re-fastened his jeans. Naruto was blushing so hard; you could have steamed mussels on him.

“This-This doesn’t mean anything!! What I said still stands! This shouldn’t have happened!”

Sasuke simply crossed his arms and regarded Naruto silently as the man picked up his ruined shirt of the ground. Sasuke barely lifted an eyebrow at the colourful language that streamed forth when Naruto saw the state of his shirt. The blond turned to glare at Sasuke and only got even more pissed off for his efforts.

Sasuke’s hair was pointing in a zillion different directions, his skin was flushed and his lips were bruised. His t-shirt was inside-out and his jeans were slowly slipping southward since he hadn’t buttoned them. He looked like a frightened, scandalized chicken. And yet the bastard had the AUDACITY to stand there, looking at him with his patented ‘I’m superior and you’re stupid’ expression, the one he had perfected in Kindergarten, still not saying a word.

Grabbing his jacket, Naruto stalked to the door, ticked that he’d have to head home and get a shirt now. He’d be damned if he’d ever borrow an item of clothing from the bastard again. He would be avoiding this house as if it were the quarantine for the plague from here on out. Flinging open the door, Naruto turned to scream one last thing at the dummy.

“AND STOP MOLESTING ME!!!” THAT got a rise out of Sasuke.

“Molesting you?! MOLESTING You?!! I’M molesting YOU?!! You goddamn hypocrite!!” Naruto abruptly left as Sasuke started roaring; slamming the door so hard, it shook the paintings on the walls.

Sasuke was about to go to the door and yell other civil niceties at the figure he knew was rapidly retreating from his house. However after one step, his jeans tripped him and he had to throw his hands forward to stop from crashing on his face. One hand came down hard on a discarded button. Ah touché button, touché…

Huffing loudly, Sasuke flopped down unto his back and glared up at his ceiling. A few minutes of hard Uchiha glare-age later, Sasuke started to smirk, which then gave way to a genuine smile. His dobe loved him, the other stuff were peripheral details. Now from here on out, it was simply a matter of planning and action.


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Gama-chan croaked to a stop the same time Sakura’s Slug slid to a halt in the hospital’s parking lot. The Slug was Sakura’s large white van that she was hopelessly attached to. It took forever to build up speed and had a strange tendency to leak acid, but she would never get rid of it. Kabuto threatened to have both Gama-chan and the Slug towed and sent to the crushers. According to him, it was okay if Naruto and Sakura wanted to kill themselves, but they should at least give the environment and the scenery a chance.
Naruto and Sakura jogged up to the hospital’s entrance together.

“What’s going on?” Naruto asked as he cast a worried gaze at Sakura.

“Don’t know…got paged the same time you did, I guess. Are you okay? You look like you’ve been run over by a truck.” Naruto grimaced.

“I’m pretty sure I have been. And I have a sinking feeling that the driver is about to fling it into reverse.”


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A/N: Okay, be honest: how many of you read the song and the opening of Naruto and Sasuke’s conversation and thought
‘That bitch! She lied to me…this is angst! This is going to be an angst-filled, emo, bawl-your-eyes-out rejection of Sasuke’s hot man-loving! OH, the humanity!’
Well if you thought that, GOTCHA! I told you I tried to stuff all the angst into the preceding chapters! Keep ‘em looking left, then move right, baby! If you saw through it though, or skipped the song because it bored you, well kudos my friend! I could not mislead you. Very good, grasshopper.
Seriously, how on the mark is Simple Plan with that song? I think they should play it whenever Naruto chases down Sasuke in the canon. Well, okay no, but it really just screams NaruSasu angst to me. I could even see some of the lyrics as a response from Sasuke. I think I chose a pretty good mood-setter (nod, nod).  (Is pleased with herself).
(KK senses a huge amount of killer intent…turns around to see an angry mob of readers.) Erm…guys?
Mob: Lemoooon… And they still aren’t together! Kill the witch!
KK: Eeeep! Guys you can’t kill me! Not if you want chapter 9! (So, do you all want chapter 9?)
Mob: Kiiiilllllll!!!!! (Torches are lit, pitchforks appear, and someone revs a chainsaw)
KK: O.O;; Waa-it, a got a surprise remember!! (Chainsaw revs quizzically)
In one of the previous chapters, one reviewer forbade me from ever ending the story, demanding at least 60 chapters (that crazy Mo-Fo!). I told her that I would have to hooked up to a plot I.V. to even get to a chapter in the teens. So, seeing the error of her ways, she withdrew her order and went on to demanding 100 chapters instead. Don’t worry; I am having her institutionalized as we speak. But I couldn’t help but wonder what a chapter 60 or 100 would look like (because I am weak-minded like that). So as a way of thanking you for sticking with the story and being such wonderful readers, I present to you: The theoretical Chapter 60 of Role Play: My Wake-up Call

Note: This really has nothing to do with the current story, basically it’s an AU away from the AU. So it isn’t a spoiler for how the story will end or anything like that. It is just one POSSIBILITY of how Chapter 60 could have looked. Naruto and Sasuke are in their early to mid-thirties at this point; because the idea of two really old dudes having sex freaks me out (apologies to all the gay geriatric guys out there). I hope you like it.


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Sasuke was being stifled, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. The more he tried to pull in air, the more constricted it felt. Naruto released his lover’s nose as the dark-haired man awoke with a sputter. Sasuke looked up to see blue eyes peering at him from a face framed with shaggy blond hair. His would-be murderer was smiling at him, making the whiskered cheeks even more pronounced. Sasuke resisted the urge to smile back and pull the man down for a kiss. Instead, he scowled.
“Kami-sama, you’re actually here?! I was hoping it was just a long, painfully elaborate nightmare!” Naruto rolled his eyes at the first words the bastard uttered.

“Well, good morning to you too sunshine. Get up, it’s seven already and I want omelettes!” Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him.

“Omelettes? What, no ramen?”

“I already had my ramen, but I want breakfast!” Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned his face away from the miniature sun that was his lover.

Naruto really needed to admit he had a problem. Ramen wasn’t even considered as food by him anymore. Ramen to him was like insulin to a Type-1 diabetic: something essential and completely vital. Sasuke shivered every time he remembered the first vacation they had ever taken together.

Apparently ramen wasn’t the culinary staple in France as it was in Japan…who knew? When Naruto had learnt that swank hotel Sasuke had selected did not have ramen, did not know what ramen was, and would not serve ramen for him or anything like him; Naruto was prepared to do a U-turn and catch the next flight back. Sasuke had been adamant, however. He wanted to stay and that was final. Surely Naruto could last two weeks without wet noodles.

Sasuke had later watched in trembling horror as Naruto, then 24 hours ramen-free, went Incredible Hulk on the him and the defenceless suite. Necessity being the mother of invention, Sasuke had quickly improvised something in the small kitchen- basically serving Naruto spaghetti in spiced hot water. Naruto had eaten it as he steadily cursed Sasuke, the hotel, France in general and decried the overt barbarism of not having at least instant ramen on hand.

The noodle-dish having taken the edge of, Sasuke was then left with an irritable, twitching and excitable Naruto; this being the equivalent of sharing a cave with an animated Tasmanian devil. Sasuke had thought the vacation would be ruined until he discovered the only thing that could distract Naruto from his ramen-induced psychosis: Sex… and lots of it.

For the remaining 12 days, they had left the hotel room only long enough to take a few pictures of the Eiffel Tower to prove they had been in France. And that was it. At the end of the vacation, there was a Sasuke-shaped imprint permanently etched into the bed. The floors, being made of hardier stuff, resisted a similar branding. For Sasuke, he thought it had been the best holiday ever. Sure he winced when he walked and had had to endure Naruto screaming things like ‘I love you, Noodle boy’ and ‘me so hungry’; and yes, Naruto had tried to slurp his hair a few times, but it had been worth it.

Anywho, back to the future:

“Will you get up and make my breakfast already?” Naruto poked the man as Sasuke firmly turned his face away from him.

“Go make your own damned omelettes…”

“I can’t make them the way you do…come oooon!” Sasuke closed his eyes tightly and willed Naruto to Never-never land (the one in the story-book, not the other one). He wasn’t a morning person by nature; but now he was also exhausted. Naruto had kept him up until three that morning, apparently in preparation for some type of sexual Olympics. He was owed another four hours of sleep at least and Naruto’s morning-personality was wearing on him. Stupid sky-blue eyes, moronic sunshine hair, delicious fresh-squeezed orange-juice fashion sense. He made himself go slack as Naruto continued poking him, pretending to fall asleep.

Naruto looked down at his lover in amusement. Did the bastard really think he could ignore him? For someone who was called a genius, you’d think he’d learn by now. Sasuke tensed, albeit slightly, as Naruto started to rub his stomach in large warm circles. The circles changed to slow, steady strokes down his abdomen as Naruto called to him in a sing-song voice.

The wide sweeping motions of Naruto’s hand narrowed to a single point as he used a finger to trail lazy spirals up and down Sasuke’s torso. Heat curled and followed in the wake of Naruto’s roving digit. Sasuke kept his eyes closed and face averted as he tried to control his breathing. He knew he should roll over to stop Naruto’s ministrations but lay still, carrying on his poor pretence of sleep.

He couldn’t stifle the gasp that rose as Naruto brazenly leaned down and licked his nipples. “Sasuke…”

The tongue slip up to lap at the hollow of Sasuke’s throat as the slow belly rub resumed. The strokes extended each time until Naruto’s fingers brushed the start of the dark curls below Sasuke’s navel. Naruto looked down to the see the sheet, which had been riding low on Sasuke’s hips, now precariously perched on top of the man’s turgid erection. Naruto reached over and with a gust of breath, blew the sheet of the pinnacle. Sasuke hissed and his entire body flushed. Naruto smirked and looked back at the now wide open eyes.

“Oh you’re awake? And it looks like you are happy to see me too…”

“That has nothing to do with YOU, moron. It’s…it’s just morning wood.” Naruto rolled his eyes, not bothering to point out the discrepancy that the erection had not been there 10 minutes ago. Sasuke’s brain activity must have started to slow down already.

Sasuke shut up as lips clamped over a hardened nipple and started sucking. Naruto started edging lower, kissing and nipping at Sasuke’s taut flesh, until warm breath ghosted over a straining erection. Naruto stroked Sasuke’s inner thigh, allowing his knuckles to brush against the aching member. Naruto then abruptly straightened and sat Indian style beside the stunned and sweating Sasuke.

“What are you…why did you…what the…” Sasuke looked between Naruto and his erection as if there had been some sort of breach of contract.

“What? You said it had nothing to do with me!” Naruto spoke nonchalantly as Sasuke sat bolt upright and glared at him. The blond started to inspect his nails. “Sakura-chan says my nails need work. Do you think it’s unmanly to get a manicure? Che, look who I’m asking! Could you make an appointment with your manicurist for me? I…ack!”

Sasuke dived into Naruto, intent on killing him. A few minutes of scuffling and pained grunting, and he had succeeded in straddling the blond, pinning his hands above his head.

“You.Are.Such.A.Moron!” Sasuke gritted out before descending to use his tongue to choke the idiot.

As the kiss deepened, Sasuke relaxed his body to slide against his lover, annoyed at the rough feel of clothes against his naked skin. Struggling not to break the kiss, Sasuke tugged at Naruto’s t-shirt one way, while stretching it another, still refusing to acknowledge that he would have to unlatch from Naruto to get the shirt removed. Naruto sighed and twisted away to break the kiss and yank his shirt off. Sasuke was always rough on his clothes. He had lost count of how many t-shirts, dress shirts and boxers he had to replace on a monthly basis.

While Naruto had been removing his shirt, Sasuke had moved down the huge bed to pull down Naruto’s sweat pants and underwear. He was rewarded with a sharp groan as his lips slip over and down Naruto’s hardening length. A few slow licks, and the Naruto was throbbing in his hand. Naruto’s back arched up to move deeper in Sasuke’s mouth as the raven sped up, sucking harder and faster as his lover’s hand twisted in his hair. There was a sharp tug that forced Sasuke to look up into dark blue eyes.

“Want me to return the favour?” Sasuke blinked in confusion as Naruto started moving, kicking off his pants, and shifting Sasuke at the same time. Understanding finally dawned on Sasuke as, soon Naruto lay beneath him, and the man’s breath was once again flowing against his swollen member. He grunted as he felt Naruto’s tongue wrap around his length and he was almost pulled down by a heavy suck on his penis.

Soon Sasuke was gasping and shaking, unable to stop himself from thrusting down as Naruto picked up speed, pumping his hand hard and fast over Sasuke’s shaft in opposing motion to actions of his mouth. Sasuke yelled and sank his teeth into the firm flesh of Naruto’s thigh as he tried to control himself.

Not missing a beat, Naruto moved his free hand from his lover’s hip to entwine it with Sasuke’s- the one still grasping Naruto’s erection. Reminded of the purpose of their position, Sasuke removed Naruto’s hand and immediately plunged his mouth down the turgid flesh, quickly matching Naruto’s almost blurring speed. The feel of Naruto’s tongue lapping and sliding over the slit of his leaking member dragged a strangled groan from Sasuke, to pull back and lick deliberately at the dewing fluid at the tip of his lover’s pulsing erection, before moving down to fill his mouth again.

For a few minutes sounds of humming and groaning filled the room. Naruto felt the Sasuke’s body tensing above him, the hard flesh in his mouth surging dangerously. He felt his body start to respond similarly and pulled back. Sasuke paused his own actions and looked back at him.

“Do you…want to finish like this? Or…” Naruto panted out and paused as he watched Sasuke lift himself off. A heartbeat later, Sasuke was straddling him, grasping Naruto as he began to guide himself down. Naruto gripped the man’s hips and stopped him. Reaching a hand around Sasuke’s neck, he pulled him down for a delaying kiss. “Don’t we need to use some lube”

Sasuke shook his head against Naruto’s lips, tasting himself as he slid a tongue over them. “I’m still…from this morning…” Sasuke finished vaguely, not fully able to bring himself to say it out loud.

“Oh…really?” Naruto held him in place against his lips, and unceremoniously slipped two fingers into Sasuke’s previously slicked entranced.

Sasuke gasped and thrust down, grinding his weeping erection against Naruto’s before rocking back unto the fingers. Naruto smirked… he always did go overboard on the lube; but he guessed it was a good thing. Still not wanting to chance hurting Sasuke, another finger slipped in and started stretching and preparing his lover. Sasuke shuddered and hissed his impatience, pushing away Naruto’s probing hand. Again, he positioned himself and started to sink down over Naruto until he was completely filled and cradled against the blond’s pelvis.

Naruto’s grip tightened on Sasuke’s hips as the man raised himself and came crashing back down, making them both gasp. Naruto angled himself properly for Sasuke’s next move, smiling as watched Sasuke crash back down only to open his mouth in a silent scream, body arching as his hips started to roll automatically.

“You are so damned beautiful…” Naruto bit out as he thrust up, meeting his lover half-way, and matching Sasuke’s plunging movements as he sank down screaming his name.

“Ah, Naruto…fuck!” Sasuke kept screaming out, gripping Naruto’s thighs as he felt the man slam mercilessly into his prostate. His movements became irregular as all cognizance and control slipped from him.

He felt his world tilt wildly and crazily, before he realized Naruto had rolled them until their positions reversed. He arched up and clawed at his lover’s back as Naruto’s hips pistoned driving them both over the edge. Naruto felt Sasuke’s body go rigid and watched his shatter, warm fluid splashing unto his abdomen, bringing his own screaming release.

Naruto collapsed unto Sasuke and both men lay there heaving; sweat and Sasuke’s spend cooling between them. At length Naruto raised himself off Sasuke and looked down at his lover. The raven looked completely debauched and contented.

“…And I want pancakes too.” Sasuke didn’t know what Naruto was talking about. He focused on the bright blond hair and blue eyes. Pretty, Sasuke decided. He gave a goofy lopsided smile as he reached for Naruto’s hair- his IQ firmly in the negative zone.

Naruto smiled down at him. If Sasuke could see what he was like after making love, he’d probably kill himself out of embarrassment. After sex, Sasuke was as dumb as a rock and more useless than yelling at a deaf person.

“Come on, we are going to shower and then you are going to make me breakfast.” Sasuke willingly agreed.

He liked to shower. Uchihas are clean people who like to shower. He was a Uchiha, therefore he liked to shower. This was the attempt of Sasuke’s synapses to start firing again. He was also trying to remember why he liked showering with Naruto in particular. A few minutes later when he was leaning bonelessly against the shower wall, gripping Naruto’s bobbing head and moaning helplessly, he remembered.

When Naruto had deemed Sasuke competent enough to be around fire and sharp objects, but still generally pliable, he had led him to the kitchen and left him his instructions. By the time Sasuke was himself again, he was folding the eggs over, careful to keep Naruto’s favourite fillers from spilling out. He quickly wiped the stupid sated smile of his face and glared daggers at the blond, whistling innocently on the couch while watching TV.

“What?” Naruto turned wide, innocent blue eyes on him as he flipped pancakes. When the hell did he agree to pancakes?

“Nothing…nothing at all.” Sasuke ground out, fighting the urge to go over and flay the blond. To argue would be to admit to the blond’s complete sexual dominance over him. Not to mention admitting that sex turned him into naught more than a drooling steamed vegetable. And it would be a cold day in hell before that happened. “I was just wondering what you were watching…”

“Dumb and Dumber…” Naruto caught the apple sent to annihilate him and he smiled sweetly. “Chouji and Ino are renewing their vows karaoke style at the BBQ house. We are cordially invited.”

“Karaoke? I don’t do Karaoke. Uchihas don’t…”

“Oh put a sock in it… We’re going!” The look on Sasuke’s face reminded him that that approach only worked right after sex. “Fine, don’t go…I’ll just hang out with Sai all night.”

Sasuke glared and fumed…Naruto smiled, knowing that on the day, Sasuke will ‘suddenly’ want to go.

As the two dug into their breakfast, Sasuke finally cooled down enough to speak.

“How are things going with Jiraiya-sama’s funeral preparations?”

“Tsk, the funeral home says that we can leave the ‘thumbs up’ pose alone. They say it won’t be that distracting. They say it will be difficult to chisel away that unholy grin off his face.”

Jiraiya had died, as everyone suspected he would, in a brothel. By the time the young woman had realized that the man wasn’t simply frozen in rapture, rigor mortis had taken over.

Sasuke grinned- now that was a way to go. “You’ve got to admit, dying in the saddle like that, got to be fun.” Naruto snorted.

“Fun for you, not so fun for the saddle. The poor girl is going to need months probably years of therapy.”

After the dishes were washed up, Naruto convinced Sasuke to watch TV with him and spend some time together before his shift started.

“What crap are you watching anyway?” Sasuke grudgingly let Naruto pull his head down into his lap and stroke his hair.

You know, he really should protest to this treatment. He wasn’t some glorified lapdog or cat for Naruto to stroke and fondle whenever he felt like it. It was undignified, and he hated being sundignified. He immediately contradicted himself, almost purring when Naruto started massaging his scalp.

“They’re ‘punking’ Demi Moore in this episode… hiding her glasses and putting everything just out of her reach. Call me crazy, but I think Ashton Kutcher is running out of ideas. Ooh, Pimp My Wheelchair is on next! I’m not sure adding hydraulics is such a good move though…” Sasuke rolled his eyes and focused on the feel of Naruto’s fingers in his hair.

“I should probably check in at the Sound later. Juugo had another rage fit and destroyed the Xerox machine.”

“Um, you can’t. You promised to look after Chibi-Gai and Mai today until either Lee gets back from the tournament or Sakura’s shift ends.” Naruto braced himself.

“I DID WHAT?! When and where in hell did I agree to do that?!” Sasuke glared murder up at the placating face looking back at him.

“When: three days ago. Where: right here, well behind the couch actually. We had just…” Sasuke interrupted quickly. He knew what they had done. He seriously needed to figure out a way to stop Naruto from asking favours during and after sex.

“Haven’t they heard of day-care?”

“Why pay strangers when you have good friends with all this free time.”

“Then you all will blame me when I murder the little brats!”

“They’re scared shitless of you! They’ll be good! It’s only for a few hours. Besides, you’re overdue a good deed- you’re karma’s about to go all out of whack!”

“Bite me, you moron!” Sasuke grumbled as Naruto’s fingers calmed him into sleep. He was going to need it for when Sakura and Lee’s kids got there.

“Gladly, but I have work in a few hours. Oi bastard…”

“Wha-at?” Sasuke seethed, hovering on the brink of sleep.

“You know I love you right?” Sasuke snorted and said four more words before slumber took him.

“You damn well better…”


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A/N2: Yatte!! I hope you enjoyed that little bonus! And this chapter is officially enormous!! I made you wait, so you guys deserved it. I didn’t feel ‘Role Play’ was ready for a lemon yet, but I did feet I owed you one! Okay, so I was threatened with bodily injury…but I still wanted to write one. Tell me if you guys want chap.9, and please feel free tell me what you think so far. I live for feedback! Later!
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