The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.


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"Oh fatherrrr..." Hinata called out as she made her way to the main room where her father would be residing at.

Sure enough, he was there. But he wasn't alone.

He was currently training Hinata's little sister, Hyuuga Hanabi. Hiashi had always favored the young girl over Hinata because she always beat Hinata whenever they sparred. Hinata held no ill will towards her, but held it rather towards her father.

Hinata knew that her father didn't always act like the careless, cold hearted stiff that he was today. In fact, it was quite the opposite when her mother, Hyuuga Hisa was still alive. Believe it or not, you couldn't meet a kinder, happier man back in that day. Hell, he even gave Kushina a run for her money at being happy all the time. And she was the one who invented COMEDY COMBAT, for Kami's sake!

But that all changed after she had passed away. Ever since then, Hiashi had become cold, uncaring, and unmoving. He became what every shinobi strived to become at the start. The ultimate killing machine.

But there were still times that Hinata could see a tiny portion of the Hiashi she knew and loved deep within his eyes. She strived to bring back that Hiashi, and that was the main reason she had to train with Naruto. When Hiashi saw how far she had come, then maybe he would begin to turn back to his old self...his old, caring, loving self.

At least, that's what Hinata hoped.

The Hyuuga Head and Hanabi stopped their practicing at the sound of Hinata's voice, and turned towards the female Hyuuga. Hanabi's face lit up a tiny bit at seeing her sister, but it quickly vanished before the elder Hyuuga could see it.

"Ah, Hinata. I've been meaning to talk to you," Hiashi said.

"That's good, because I've been wanting to talk to you as well, father," Hinata said, causing Hiashi to raise an eyebrow. Since when did his little girl get so...confident?

"Very well, but first, I must give congrats on your victory over Neji," Hiashi said. "To tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd be able to win should the two of you had squared off, but I'm pleased that I was wrong. And the one who delivered the news to me even informed me that you didn't have to use the Curse Mark to do it!"

But then Hiashi frowned a bit. "But when I inquired as to how you managed to defeat your cousin, the man simply blushed and ran away before I could stop him. Care to let me know why?"

Hinata didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then she looked her father in the eye and said, "Depending on your answer to my next statement, father, you might find out."

Hiashi's eyebrow went even higher as she said this. Her little victory against Neji must have really fueled her confidence. ...Weirdly enough, he didn't know what to make of this...new Hinata.

"Very well. What is it that you wish to say to me?" Hiashi said.

Hinata, without once looking away from Hiashi's gaze, stated, "I am to train with Naruto-kun for the next month prior to the finals for the Chuunin Exams."

Hiashi's face darkened at that. He didn't hate the boy like the elders of his family did, but he wasn't that fond of him either. How could Hinata benefit from learning from someone who was the dead-last of the academy?

"I am sorry, Hinata, but I must decline. I cannot see how you can gain anything from learning under Uzumaki," Hiashi replied.

Hinata narrowed her eyes. "I thought you might say something like that. So I've come up with a deal," she said, taking a stance. "If I can beat you in combat, then you'll allow me to train with Naruto-kun. No questions."

Hanabi gasped a little at Hinata's words. What did her sister think she was doing...? Surely, she didn't really think that she could defeat their father when she couldn't even beat herself, did she?

Hiashi chuckled a bit at this declaration. "Very well. If you can defeat me, then I will allow you to train under Uzumaki," he said, taking up his own stance.

The two stared each other down for a few moments, each waiting for the other to make a move. Finally, Hinata charged foreward, Byakugan ablaze.

Hiashi was surprised by this new version of his daughter...and wanted to see how powerful she had become. So he allowed her to hit him at least once.

BIG mistake.

Hinata struck him in the chest, right were the heart would be located. Hiashi, shocked, looked down at the tiny palm that had striked him in that spot. He didn't think Hinata had it in her.

Hanabi watched in horror as this happened. Was her sister trying to KILL their father? Did she really resent him that muc-

Wait a minute.

Did her father, Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga and one of the most POWERFUL ninja within Konohakagure...

MOAN?

Hanabi couldn't believe her ears as the Hyuuga let out a loud moan of pleasure as he dropped to his knees, eyes wide open. She watched as her sister traced her hand slowly over her father's chest, and heard as his moans became more frequent.

Hiashi couldn't believe what was happening. How was Hinata, his own DAUGHTER, able to instill these feelings into him? He hadn't felt this feeling ever since Hisa and him had their last...bad thoughts, BAD THOUGHTS!

"This is what I'll be learning while under Naruto-kun, father. It's something I call...the Ecstasy Fist," Hinata said with a tiny giggle. "I tell you, you can NOT believe how weird this feels..."

'Tell me about it...' Hiashi thought, trying to fight through the pleasure, and REALLY trying to not think of his daughter doing the same things that Hisa had done to him. Although...Hinata did look like Hisa did when she was her age...NO!

"Anyway, I've got to get to Naruto-kun now, so I have to end this. Please forgive me," Hinata said.

...Right before she kicked her dad in the balls.

Hiashi's reaction was just like Neji's. Only his squeak was even more high-pitched as he fell to the ground.

Hinata gave a little bow, before she turned towards her shell-shocked sister. "Make sure that he gets medical attention as soon as possible, okay, Hanabi-chan?"

Dumbfounded, Hanabi could only nod as Hinata went on her marry way.

Comedy Combat!

"DAAAAADDDDD!" Ino called out as she got to her home.

Yamanaka Inochi, Ino's father, was standing behind the counter of the flower shop as he saw his daughter walk in. "Ah, Ino-chan! You're just in time to take over the duty of watching over the store!" Inochi said.

"There's no time for that, papa!" Ino said, gathering some stuff into a bag. "I've got training to do!"

"Training? Didn't Asuma-sensei give you the rest of the day off?" Inochi questioned, a big red question mark over his head.

Ino scoffed. "I'm not talking about that lazy prick, papa! I'm going to be training under Naruto!"

Inochi raised an eyebrow at this. He, as well as Shikamaru's father and Chouji's father didn't hate the boy because of the Kyuubi, but they were also rather indifferent towards him. Why would his daughter want to train under the supposed dead-last of the academy?

Before he could voice this, Ino, who was still packing, said," He beat Kiba, ya know. KIBA, the number one Taijutsu user in this year's class aside from Sasuke-kun himself! He must have had some INTENSE training in order to do that!"

Inochi couldn't believe what he just heard. The Uzumaki kid had defeated Kiba, one of the top students of the graduating year? How?

But before Inochi could ask, Ino went on, "And the weird thing is that Naruto beat the dog-boy with pies, a banana-peel and, get this, a RUBBER CHICKEN! Can you believe it, papa?"

Inochi was shocked. A dead-last boy beat one of the top students just by using things that would be normally seen in a bad comedy fanfic?

But before he could ask more, he was cut off, once again, by Ino, "Anyway, I thought to myself, 'If Naruto could beat Kiba with such STUPID moves, then think about what he could teach me! I could crush forehead girl without a sweat, Sasuke-kun would fall in madly in love with me, and we'd make tons of Uchiha baibes!"Ino let out a perverted giggle at that thought.

Inochi tried to say something again but...guess what? "Anyway I'm going over to Naruto's so that I can learn his moves and get stronger so could you watch the shop for me yes yes you could because I'm daddy's little girl and daddy's little girl always gets what she wants and you don't want to prove that wrong so thanks dad I'll see ya later love ya bye!" And she was off.

Inochi didn't say anything for a while. But then he went...

"I KNEW she took up her mother's side of the family."

COMEDY COMBAT!

"Lee, could you please stop with the swearing, already?" Tenten sighed.

"Hell no, bitch, this is how I talk! If you've got a problem with it, then you can just kiss my well toned ass, because Rock Lee said so!" Lee scoffed, kicking the tree in front of him.

"Look, Lee, this has gone on far enough! Your new attitude is pissing me off. So either knock it off, or I'll MAKE you knock it off!" Tenten growled.

"WHAT?!" Lee said.

"You heard me!" Tenten said.

"WHAT?!" Lee said again.

"I said, you heard m-"

"WHAT?!"

"Lee, knock it of-"

"WHAT?!"

"I'm warning yo-"

"WHAT?!"

"QUIT I-"

"WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!"

"THAT DOES IT!" Tenten shrieked, pulling out her weapons scroll.

"No Tenten! You must not harm Lee!" Gai shouted, holding her back.

"WHY NOT?!" Tenten shouted, beyond pissed.

"Because it's MY job!" Gai replied, pulling out a steel chair out of nowhere and wacking Lee upside the head with it. The spandex clad boy flew away from the tree, and fell in a heap a few feet away.

Soon though, he got back up and said, "Ow...what youthful force hit me...?"

He turned to look at a relieved Gai, and a P.M.Sing Tenten.

"...What did I miss, youthful friends?"

COMEDY COMBAT!

Orochimaru stood before a team of his most advanced med-ninja's, all of them looking at the vial that he had locked away.

"What can you tell me about this vial?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Well, sir, we've learned that this vial is an antidote to another type of vial, but we aren't quite sure what the other type of vial is yet," One of the Ninja replied.

Orochimaru frowned, before he remembered that the Uzumaki kid had given the Hyuuga a Vial of a different color. And he also remembered the boost in power the girl displayed after she had taken it. Perhaps this was the antidote to said vial...?

"Tell me, do you think that you'll be able to find out the properties that were put into this vial and...reverse them?" Orochimaru demanded.

"Well, it may take a while, but if we were to put our best effort into it, then we could be done just before the Chuunin Exam finals," Another Ninja replied.

Orochimaru nodded his head, satisfied with the answer. "See to it that you do. Focus all of your time into reversing the antidote. Failure is NOT an option," he commanded.

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama," All of the ninja said, bowing.

The Snake-sannin grinned an evil grin. If that vial that the Uzumaki boy had given that Hyuuga girl granted her that much strength, then think about what it could do for HIM...

He chuckled darkly. Konoha wouldn't stand a chance...

COMEDY COMBAT!

And that's all for now! I hope you enjoyed the way I showed off the characters this chapter. It was mostly meant to be funny, so the training will come up next chapter! Plus (for those who care), I'll be introducing Sasuke into the fic at last! Until then, Catch you next continue!