Stratum Tales

Rating: PG +13 (for suggestive situations)
Genre: Humour
Status: COMPLETE. One-shot.
Characters: Naruto, Iruka, Kakashi.
Theme: 23. Cat
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make any money from Naruto. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
Note: Beta'd by kakairupowns.

Summary: This was, Naruto decided, his best idea ever. He would once and for all see beneath Kakashi-sensei’s mask.


Attempt No. 173
Kakashi x Iruka

There was a rather mangled looking ginger cat curled on the apartment doormat.

-o-
Naruto pawed at the door before him. This was his best idea ever. Why he hadn’t thought of it before was beyond him. Why hadn’t anyone ever thought of it before…? He pawed at the door again, secretly grinning.

Best. Idea. Ever.

-o-
Iruka wasn’t expecting Kakashi to be home when he arrived at the man’s apartment. He was, after all, notoriously late for everything. It was a quirk the chuunin had come to accept and even work around - so when he saw the post-it note, a quickly scribbled Henohenomoheji attached to the apartment door letting him know Kakashi was indeed home, asleep, and his traps were disabled… it was fair to say he felt slightly surprised.

What completely threw him off-kilter though, was the rather mangled looking ginger cat curled on the apartment doormat. It’s fur was clumped together with dirt and weeds and spiked up every which way you looked, while its whiskers seemed more like battle worn scars.

It looked… pathetic.

And in desperate need of love.

He bit his lip, unsure of what to do. His first instinct were to run up and cuddle it, maybe give it a bath and some food. But he didn’t want to scare it, and he wasn’t sure if Kakashi even liked cats. He sighed, kneeling down a few feet away. He couldn’t just leave it there.

“Hey there little one,” Iruka cooed, holding out a hand. “How did you get all the way up here, huh?”

The cat’s eyes blinked open. A yawn showing its admirable set of fangs before it clawed the mat, back bowing. With a slight twitch it turned curious cerulean eyes upon him.

“C’mere, puss-puss…” Iruka rubbed his fingers together, coaxing. “C’mon now.”

The cat blinked a few more times before suddenly seeming to realize the human’s intentions. It jumped up, tail thumping, front paws scratching at Kakashi’s door.

Iruka smiled. “You wanna go in there?” He stood, hand going into his back pouch in search of keys. “…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let you in.”

For a moment the cat paused, looking up at the young sensei curiously. It’s mind was a flurry of calculating thoughts, the foremost of which was whether this interruption would impede on the plan, though that was quickly knocked aside for another, suddenly more pressing issue. Why was the young sensei here? The answer to that last thought sent the cat into a glare.

Iruka found what he was looking for, smiling as he remember the night Kakashi had not so subtly attached the key to his increasing collection and declared Iruka could now visit—and sex him up—whenever the need arose.

He looked down to comment on the hentai’s antics, when he noticed the animal’s intense gaze. Smiling, Iruka shook his head. He supposed he had gotten rather lost in his own thoughts.

“So you‘re an impatient one eh?” he commented, unlocking the door and swooping down to collect the cat before it could run in and wake up his dozing lover. “Well, how about we get you something to eat first? How does that sound?”

The cats eyes widened. Food was good. It swished its tail happily, almost dog-like, before giving a hesitant ‘mreow’.

Iruka chuckled, pushing through the entrance and tossing his keys onto the door-side drawer.

“Expressive too.” He mused, ruffling the cats fur before placing it gently on the kitchen bench. “You know, you remind me of a certain blond boy…”

For its part, the cat watched on innocently. No hint here or there that it understood nor cared.

Iruka continued shuffling quietly through cupboards for a small bowl and plate. “Maybe after we’ve gotten you cleaned up, you’d like to meet him? If we can’t find your owner, I’m sure Naruto would love to keep you. He’s always wanted a pet.” Iruka sat a bowl of water down before moving off again in search of something the animal could eat. “Of course… Nekko-chan… you’d need a strong stomach for ramen.”

The cat snorted.

-o-
Minutes later, both man and beast sat in companionable silence. Iruka mindlessly playing with the ginger-stray’s tail as it heartily ate the tuna he’d put down for it.

Both stilled at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Kakashi-sensei…” Iruka sheepishly smiled, trying feebly to hid the cat beside him.

“Uh…” Kakashi leant against the frame of his bedroom door blessedly clad in only a pair of loose fitting slacks. A scarf covered the lower portion of his face and his hair stood at end, mussed with sleep. Not that Iruka suspected anyone besides himself could tell. “Iruka-sensei, what… is that?”

Iruka nervously chuckled under the jounin’s weary gaze. “It’s a cat, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi took a few hesitant steps forward, blearily rubbing his eyes. “And it’s in my apartment, why?”

“Oh. I, um, found it outside.” Iruka decided to just answer and shrugged. “It looked hungry.”

“You just go ‘round picking up strays now?” Kakashi asked, suspicious.

“Only irresistibly handsome ones.” Iruka winked, rising to meet the jounin half-way since the man still seemed completely exhausted. He eyed the pale torso for any new scars, and finding none, figured it was most likely chakra depletion.

“You know,” Kakashi forced his eye from the ginger menace and wrapped his arms around a very warm and blushing chuunin. “He reminds me of-”

“I know.” Iruka cut in. He ran his fingers through the disarray that was Kakashi’s hair. “How was your day, love?”

Behind them there was a thump, and upon turning to see the cause of said thump, both shinobi were faced with a disgruntled fur ball righting its self from its slump on the ground.

It stared up at Iruka, eyes wide and horrified. Something akin to ‘the hell you callin’ that jackass love for?’ clearly visible. All they got, however, was a confused, “Mreow?”

“…talkative.” Kakashi commented, immediately dismissing the creature and nuzzling into Iruka’s neck.

“Mm…” Iruka agreed, reaching up to remove Kakashi’s scarf.

Kakashi willingly let the scarf be tugged down, his head tilting just so, leaving his face hidden from the animal’s view. Their lips met in a slow, lingering kiss.

“Sensei…” Kakashi pulled away, purring as he nuzzled back into the chuunin’s shoulder. Very carefully he manoeuvred them towards the sofa, his knees giving out when they made contact sending both shinobi crashing down.

Laughing, Iruka straddled the jounin’s waist.

Kakashi felt the cat’s paw swipe at his arm, it’s eyes meeting his with pure feline rage. The slit cerulean pupils spoke of fire and brimstone, of torture and pain and Kakashi smiled behind the crook of Iruka’s elbow, face conveniently hidden.

“…feisty too.”

Very slowly Iruka tilted Kakashi’s face back toward his own. Hand cupping the older man’s jaw. “Eyes on the prize Kakashi-sama.”

The cat made a somewhat strangled sound. Somewhere between a splutter, a snort, and a whimper.

Iruka gave it a curious glance, then frowned. He lent a little closer to his lover and whispered. “I don’t think I can have sex while the cat watches. It’s a little… weird.”

“You sure?” Kakashi asked, closing the gap and stealing another sweet kiss. He nibbled the chuunin’s bottom lip, delighted to know at least certain parts of Iruka’s anatomy had no qualms about the feline voyeur. His brow quirked.

“Ah…” Iruka moaned, his hand fisting the sofa. “You’re right. I’m good… guh… hn… Kashi.” There was a breathless pause. “Really good.”

Grinning, Kakashi slid his hands down his lover’s back, fingers dipping past the waistband to squeeze the firm caramel ass beneath. “You need to be naked. Very… very… naked.” Each word was punctuated with a hip roll. Kakashi was acutely aware of the cat beside them.

For it’s part, the ginger animal shook it’s head in denial, eyes wide, slowly backing away on small paws. At the next sharp intake of breath it turned, running frantically back through the kitchen and towards the front door. It slid across the floor, stopping via collision, and began a pathetic attempt to scratch the door open.

A moan filled the small apartment, and the cat mewled.

-o-
“Gods,” Kakashi breathed huskily. “Iruuuuka!”

“Call me Sensei.” Iruka demanded, hand slapping Kakashi’s knee for fleshy emphasis.

Kakashi grinned at his lover, replying with an easily pleasured, “Yessss… aah… ssenseiiii!”

-o-
Tail swishing, ears riding low against its head, the cat gave another desperate mewl. Scratching wasn’t working, and it was starting to really panic. Throwing it’s whole body at the door, it thumped to the ground, hissed, and threw itself again.

-o-
Iruka repositioned himself, sitting opposite Kakashi at the end of his sofa. The jounin watched on with mirth-fuelled eyes, their legs tangling together comfortably, their arms and hands crossed over stomach and mouth, mimicking one another in an attempt to rein in the silent peals of laughter.

Iruka cocked a brow at his lover before looking over his shoulder. His voice directed towards the kitchen, he began moaning. “Ka… nngg… Kashi. Oh gods, pleeeease!” As an afterthought, he hissed. “Yesss…”

Kakashi nodded in approval, then, holding up his hand and pointing from Iruka to himself in a silent indication to watch, he winked. Quietly he cleared his throat, all the better to extend his vocal capacity, and then closed his eyes and leant back.

“SENSEI! Ahhng… you… yes oh gods Iruka-sensei like that. Yes… fu-”

His words were cut off by an all too familiar burst of chakra and a small gust of air, before the front door was hastily pulled open and then noisily slammed shut. A flurry of footsteps could be heard as the ‘cat’ made its speedy getaway.

There was silence. Chuunin and jounin staring back at each other in an otherwise empty apartment. And then Kakashi lost it. Laughter roared through the complex as he completely removed his scarf and tossed it to the coffee table. “Oh gods, Ruka…”

Iruka had to hold his sides as he doubled over, small tears prickling his eyes. “I can’t - I can’t believe…”

“Damn brat,” Kakashi took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Iruka snorted. “Honestly, he thought… that would work? He’s sixteen… didn’t Jiraiya… teach him anything… about…” Here Iruka crinkled his nose. He wanted to say ‘perving’, but he was trying to firmly deny the thought of Naruto doing such a thing at the onsen. “…infiltration?”

Kakashi shrugged, shifting and beckoning the chuunin to get closer once again. “Kids will be kids.”

“He should know better,” Iruka scooted over, snuggling into Kakashi’s chest. “I just wish he’d give up on trying to de-mask you. It’s getting annoying.”

“Gotta say, no one’s ever tried that particular technique before.” Kakashi lent his head against Iruka’s, fingers dusting over the younger mans facial scar. “Sharingan usually deters them.”

“Don’t care.” Iruka pouted. He reached up, blindly tracing Kakashi’s jaw line with his finger tips. “For my eyes only. Next time I’m making sure he doesn’t have an escape route.” After a minute of snuggling, Iruka snorted. “…little shit-head.”

Kakashi couldn’t argue.

-o-
The damn blonde dunce had been looking dour for three hours. She couldn’t take it anymore! With an audible sigh, Sakura gave in to curiosity. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothin’.” Naruto replied, refusing to meet her eyes.

Sakura huffed, throwing her hands into the air. “Fine, whatever. Like I care anyway.”

Scowling, Naruto stalked to the end of the bridge refusing to think about his stupid, perverted, and LATE sensei. Nor was he thinking about the way Iruka-sensei had… guh! Iruka-sensei did not do those things. Ever. With anyone. He was pure and innocent and… possibly seme? Naruto shook his head. No. He was NOT thinking about that and more importantly, he was not thinking about the perma-blush that had stained his features since yesterday’s ordeal.

For the love of Ramen! Naruto’s teeth ground together.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

[end]