Purple Cocaine Prison

Warning(s): See previous cahpters
Disclaimer: Not mine.

Please Read, Review and Enjoy!

~!@!~

‘Purple Cocaine Prison’
Half Heart Samurai

~!@!~

It’s official. I want Shikamaru castrated, eaten alive or otherwise outta my hair. I wouldn’t care who did it, how much I would have to pay or whether or not Haku would be angry with me.

There is only so much a guy of seventeen can handle before he cracks.

Haku ignores the way I roll down both windows on either side of me to stop Shika from hearing what I’m muttering under my breath.

We’re sitting in Haku’s green VW-bug and on our way to the ‘institution’.

I slept badly, I’ll admit, but it wasn’t like I’d planned to wake up half the country when I visited my OWN kitchen in my OWN place to get a glass of water at five in the morning. I hadn’t intended to drop my second favorite mug on the wooden floor, shattering it in two clean halves, and waking up Shika, who just had to happen to be a light sleeper.

He’s been nasty ever since.

I’ll say that I didn’t mean to do it.

I’ll apologize, even.

But I will not put up with being treated like a six-year-old kid who pissed in his bed and made his daddy change the sheets.

We’ve been sour to each other all morning so far and if it weren’t for Haku, under threat of asking Zabuza to drive us instead, did we manage to back off each other. As it is, Shika will be lucky if I ever speak to him again.

I have to concede, though, that all this early-morning stupidity has kept my mind off Neji until now.

I won’t pretend that I’m not absolutely dreading having to face him, speak to him or even breath the same air as him, but some part of me refuses to extend my weekend and take Monday off for needed recovery of my person.

I am also encouraged by the fact that my stomach has stopped hurting enough to have let me have a small breakfast of pineapple chunks and strawberry yogurt. Unfortunately, it started rebelling again at the sight of Haku’s bold breakfast, which included a chocolate-apple and banana sandwich.

I am not a wuss, but the sight of that going down isn’t for anyone with a weak constitution.

I’m comforted by the fact that I have cooking first thing this morning after math and will be able to hole up and avoid Neji for the day. Cooking means I will only have to deal with Sasuke and have Gaara to back me up.

Haku’s out-loud musing interrupts my thoughts: “Do you guys think people would participate in a Easter-egg hunt? If Student Council planned one, I mean”

Shika raises an eyebrow, “We are seventeen, not six”

I ‘humph’ from the backseat, “I wouldn’t think someone like you would make the distinction”

“You’ve always been the exception to the rule” Shika shoots back nastily

Oh god, how long is this going to continue?

Haku echoes my feelings, “Be nice Shika or simmer down at least. I asked a question, I didn’t signal the beginning of Round two”

Shika shrugs like he doesn’t care, “Easter-egg hunting would be way too complicated to plan. Our school has what, five separate buildings?”

Haku smiles, “That’s true, but I was thinking we could do it on a smaller scale. Besides, the egg hunt wouldn’t be the only activity planned for the day”

I perk up at the mention of ‘other activities’, “You guys wanna plan an Easter-day or something?”

Haku grins at me in the rearview mirror, “Something like that. Tuesday’s a half-day because of the east wing renovations to both gyms”

“But Easter’s on Sunday” I say, curious.

Haku laughs, “Who cares, really? The fact is that none of the teachers want to have to teach students too restless to listen because they’re daydreaming about the day ending at noon”

Shika smirks, “Unless you’re Kakashi-San and your whole life is about daydreaming”

I want to be mad at Shika and but I can’t help laughing at that. Besides, I don’t feel too bad because Haku laughs too.

Haku reaches up to pull the hair out of his face, “Okay, that’s not nice. Everybody knows Kakashi-Sensei just happens to be a serene guy”

“Yeah, right, he’s so laid-back that he’s asleep half the time”

Shika looks at me from where he’s sitting and grins, “That’s why he always notices when you don’t come back after you ask to go to the washroom”

I won’t pretend not to notice that Shika talking to me civilly isn’t the apology that it is. Extracting an actual verbal equivalent would only be painful. Instead, I play along, “Hey, that was only because Kiba kept trying to deck me and you weren’t helping”

Shika shrugs at me, insolent as ever, “You’re not a girl and I’m no prince charming”

I laugh at that and we settle down.

Haku sighs noticeably, “About time you two made up”

“We haven’t” we say simultaneously and Haku erupts into laughter, “Of course you haven’t”

We both fall silent and grin at each other.

We don’t talk much as the school comes into view and I finally roll up the back windows to savor the last few minutes of safe silence I’m going to have for the rest of the day.

Haku parks neatly and I don’t move as Haku and Shika climb out of the front seats. I watch the busses pulling up along the curb and the tens of students that start pilling off as they stop.

I close my eyes a second, take a breath and grab my bag while I haul ass outta the car.

Haku locks the doors and tells us he’ll be missing at lunch; he’s taking off with Zabuza.

Shika doesn’t say anything or tell me to hurry up. He stands still next to me as I scan the sea of cars for the silver Audi I know has got to already be here.

I’m relieved and disappointed when I catch sight of it, as expensive looking as ever, sitting by itself in a private parking space, away from everyone else and secluded.

I always though Neji was part of a whole other class of person, so much farther up on the food chain then me that we couldn’t possibly have been right for each other. Seeing the car, aloof and by itself reminds me so much of Neji himself that I find myself frowning.

Shika rattles my arm gently, “Let’s go”

Reluctantly, I turn and follow him to the west-entrance.

~!@!~

It’s easy to feel anonymous with all the students milling about inside. I take comfort in the fact that I’m not going to be alone anywhere I happen to bump into Neji today.

I don’t see him when I get to my locker and I don’t scan the crowd anymore then I have to. In less then five minutes, homeroom will start in my math class and I’ll get an eyeful of Neji whether I feel ready or not.

I can’t fathom what mood he’ll be in.

When I spilled my guts and fessed up yesterday he’d seemed every bit as mad at me as he’d seemed betrayed and disappointed.

Mad is something I can deal with: I have a way with a person that sometimes inspires irritation.

But disappointment or betrayal? I was pretty sure last time I checked that I certainly wasn’t inspiring of those.

I am about as enthusiastic about making it to class on time as I ever am; I feel like I’m going to see a public execution.

Specifically? Mine.

I plunk into my seat, the one off Neji’s right and sit motionless for a bit, listening to other students walk in.

Neji helps out on student council, though I don’t actually think he’s an official member, and is sometimes excused from missing homeroom.

He’s here but not in class yet so I breathe a little easier.

Class starts soon after morning announcements and attendance. The whole time, I’m hyper aware of the empty seat at my side.

Class continues like it would even in the twilight zone.

We go over homework questions, were taught another half-hour lesson, we’re assigned homework and given our week-day assignment sheet and then were left to ourselves to work or talk the rest of the period, all of ten minutes.

By now, I’ve lost any paranoia that had managed to store up inside me.

Yeah, all right, Neji’s mad at me, and I really wish he weren’t, and that we could try and talk, or something, anything, would be better then this uncertainty about where we stand on this issue.

I’m in the boat at sea and I wanna know what the lighthouse is up to.

Even when he asked me to leave, he didn’t seem all that happy to see me go. I also take comfort from the fact that I know he likes to have the whole story. He didn’t ask me any questions or raze me but I get the feeling he will, when he gets off being mad.

Even after all I’ve been saying I still wince when a shadow, out of the corner of my eye (I’m doodling all over my assignment) sits down and starts to copy the homework.

I don’t look right away; I take a few breaths first.

I sit up casually and stare at the board and nothing else.

Neji pauses briefly next to me. His pen stills and he resumes more slowly after a second or so.

I’m about to suck it up and ask him if he wants to borrow my notes but he beats me to it.

Ruffled, I flip back three pages in my notebook and look at him when I hand it over.

He’s not looking at me, his eyes still on his own notepad, re-reading what he copied down. His hand is held out on my direction and I place the book in it.

He accepts it with a murmured ‘Thank you’ and is about to shell up again when I notice something very surprising.

Once, when I was a little bit younger, about four or five years ago, I had a fight with Tsunade-Hag. Not the kind any normal person would have over the minor disagreement we had but an actual fist-to-face showdown.

Obviously, I lost.

The point was, though, that I won my way and even managed to placate Tsunade afterwards.

She’d laughed about how bratty I was and had given me the necklace from around her neck.

It’s an odd necklace: made of silver and crystal.

It’s special to me because it’s the first ever gift that precious to someone that had been given to me. I can’t remember why or how she managed to talk me into taking it, but I did in the end.

After, it became as much a part of my person as Tsunade-Hag had. They were both rare commodities in their own way and I respected one by never wearing it and the other by never leaving her to her own modus operandi.

I’d made a serious decision Sunday to follow through with my plan and decided whatever happened, I would want Neji to have it: the necklace.

It’s a bit surprising to see it slung around his neck, the crystals shinning, barely there, against his skin.

It’s so surprising that my fingers unintentionally squeeze the notebook on it’s way out of my grip.

Neji pauses and looks up slowly, in my direction.

He’s left his hair down and slung it over his shoulder, like he likes too on occasion and left his bangs to invade his face but brushed them to one side in a way that covered almost all of one eye and left the other with a stray strand or two of dark, dark brown hair.

His face is carefully expressionless; eyes the only thing telling me that he’d be frowning if he wasn’t made of cream colored marble.

Caught like a deer in headlights, I blush, mumble a quick apology and let go.

Neji takes the notebook absently but keeps looking at me.

“I’m sorry”, I say again, honestly, feeling like I’m not apologizing for the same thing the second time.

Neji’s eyes slide off my face and back to the notebook that he lays flat before starting to copy the notes in smooth, precise handwriting, “I know”

Somehow, I get the feeling he’s not talking about the same thing either.

~!@!~

My cooking class is a haven with its soft orange cabinets and its wall of windows. I avoided going to my locker on the off chance that I might bump into Neji and have to face him AGAIN after math class.

I sit at my table, third in the middle row, near the back and wait for Gaara and Sasuke to show up.

Left to my own devices, I haven’t got the energy to do anything other then put my head down.

The stool next to me scraping the floor as someone pulls it back makes me lift my head.

Gaara turns his eyes to mine when I look up and a relieved smile spreads across my face.

Gaara sets his black satchel bag down on the counter and leans over enough to lay a cool hand on my forehead.

Grinning, I look him over.

His eyes are rimmed in their usual black and a touch of lime-ish green is dusted on his eyelids. His new lip piercing looks like it belongs on his face and his neck is bare except for a light brown, heavy leather collar with a small pair of brass-colored bells hanging from it. The black headband he’s wearing pulls his short bangs off his face and makes the tattoo on his forehead more starkly visible then it already is.

He’s wearing a black t-shirt with a portrait-sized picture Albert Einstein on it and a dress shirt underneath. He rolled up the sleeves so that his matching light brown, cat-patterned bracelets are visible. His pants are capris, as usual, but look like they’re made of soft leather. A studded hot-pink belt is settled low on his hips and he’s wearing black and blood red-patterned Chinese slippers.

He looks like the most adorable tourist I’ve ever seen.

Gaara smoothes my left eyebrow down and pulls his hand away, “You look tired”

I shrug and stretch my arms on the counter, “I had a fun weekend”

I’m amazed at how un-sarcastic I manage to sound.

Gaara sits and puts one of his hands in mine, “Looks like it”

I’m thankful for the way he dances around asking what’s wrong and lets me adjust to his, although comforting, awfully striking presence.

Playing with his fingers, I resist the urge that wells up in me to sigh, “That bad?”

Gaara hums an acknowledging sound, “You dressed to match”

I look down at myself, suddenly self-conscious.

I’m wearing a pair of my most worn in jeans. I’ll be the last to admit that they are probably pretty close to being too small to be sufficiently baggy enough to be considered cool but Haku says they just look comfortably snug. I didn’t have to bother with a belt and just picked the first shirt my hands fell on this morning. Turns out to be a holey gray tee I used to like to sleep in until I got in a wrestling match with Tsunade-Hag and she stretched it out.

I look like I slept at somebody’s place and hadn’t bothered to go home and freshen up before school.

I wince and accidentally squeeze Gaara’s fingers in my faint distress.

Gaara lifts his hand out of mine and uses it to tap me gently under my chin, “It’s not that bad”

“What’s not that bad?”

Sasuke is standing in front of our workstation.

It takes me a minute to remember to say good morning because I’m too busy starring at him.

Anyone else would look ridiculous in a bright green and yellow Nike tracksuit with black hair laced with deep space blue highlights. Not surprisingly, Sasuke is not one of them.

Gaara’s forehead wrinkles noticeably when he gets an eyeful of Sasuke’s suit, “Hn”

Sasuke shrugs at Gaara and sits on my other side, “Good morning to you too”

He sounds sarcastic but all Gaara does is narrow his eyes a fraction more, “Ah”

He’s wearing such confounded expression that I burst out laughing.

Sasuke, who can’t be bothered, ignores us both.

Class is a quiet affair with me so occupied that I forget my odd five-minute moment with Neji back in math class. Our teacher is big on etiquette and was planning on having us play waiter and waitress at a caf for the teachers in the lounge, which is smart because neither I nor Gaara nor Sasuke had any interest whatsoever in proper fork and spoon placements…unless marks were on the line, I guess.

After we’d had our heads thoroughly pumped full of useless know how, we were instructed to find partners, preferably not in our group, to practice on.

Sasuke didn’t have to ask any of the girls: they flocked to him.

Since Gaara didn’t look like he was going to make any effort in asking anyone to do anything, the teach assigned him Brie, a girl sitting in the front row and noticed me stranding around and assigned me Stella-Maria, a girl in the workstation on our other side.

For my part, it was pretty easy and Stella didn’t tattle on me when I got the spoons wrong. She spent the better part of her time laughing at me behind her napkin.

Sasuke wasn’t getting any complaints because, obviously, he’s Sasuke.

Gaara, on the other hand, became the center of attention not two minutes after we’d started.

First, the teacher had to get Gaara to smile, a requirement that made Gaara’s forehead wrinkle indiscernibly in annoyance while his face remained smooth as ever, “I don’t smile for strangers”

Then, he was asked to at least look enthusiastic which earned her only a stony face and an air of increasing irritation.

Things went on until the teacher decided that Gaara had to at least speak a little to which Gaara’s only response was to narrow his eyes to slits and bestow her a calculating gaze.

At this point, it was clear Gaara was categorizing her as the most annoying living thing he had ever come across.

Aware that enough was, finally, enough, she let him be.

That isn’t to say that I wasn’t disappointed.

Gaara had kept his temper but hadn’t managed to mask his obvious, and sudden contempt for the poor woman.

Stella and I had to write lines like pre-schoolers for laughing so much.

~!@!~

Gaara is in a raw mood because the teacher finally figured out how to get a bit of life into him. She decided, on a whim, that he was going to be the headwaiter.

She was smart enough to announce this as we were leaving and shut the door firmly in time to miss being incinerated by Gaara’s suddenly murderous expression.

Despite his grace and smooth idiom, he’s literally simmering under the surface. Normally jade colored eyes have darkened to cloudy coral and his movements have a slightly aggressive flavor to them, like barely controlled violence.

Sasuke stands closer to him then even I dare to and manages to look quite at ease while he’s at it.

I take it as an opportunity to watch them interact for a bit.

When Gaara opens his locker with precise, sharp movements, Sasuke tosses his books on the bottom and holds a hand out for mine.

Gaara pauses not even a second and takes my books from me.

Sasuke started it but Gaara finishes it.

While were making our silent way through the crowds to get to the cafeteria, Gaara seems to move effortlessly despite the limited space. Bluntly, I realize it’s because he’s walking shoulder to shoulder with Sasuke and they both have that ‘Move-it-or-Lose-It’ face on.

Sasuke admittedly, isn’t particularly as violent looking as Gaara and actually just looks impatient.

Gaara’s fierce enough for the both of them as is.

Nearing the cafeteria, I catch sight of Shino.

I haven’t had a lot of time to spend with him, but seeing as how he’s headed for the art room, I decide to join him.

Sasuke gives my back a puzzled look but Gaara had already nodded his assent and was stepping firmly into the cafeteria, not looking back again.

After a reflective moment, Sasuke goes after him.

I grin faintly at the odd way they seem to fit together and head off after Shino.

By the time I make it to the stairs up, the halls are clear and I breath easier.

Don’t get it wrong. I like people as much as the next guy but crowds of starving teenagers are no picnic to navigate, even in good weather.

I take the stairs two at a time and run across the glass walkway to make it up in record time.

Shino has already settled in, his oversized sweater neatly folded over the back of a chair and is standing in a black long-sleeve turtleneck and black jeans. He’s still wearing his sunglasses indoors and has his hair held back with the same navy blue bandana.

Stepping quietly into the room, I pause near the first desk, “Hey Shino”

He inclines his head and motions me closer.

I walk over and stand at his elbow.

We’re looking at a canvas sitting on the floor, propped up against the far wall and nearly as tall as Shino and I. At first, I can’t make out much besides the prominent colors: glossy black and peppered red.

Stepping out from behind Shino, I take a closer look: their ladybugs. Granted, there must be thousands of them, but this close, you can see the sheer amount of detail in each of them and even tell one small form from the others.

Shino looks at me inquiringly when I laugh.

“This is really cool”, I tell him over my shoulder, seriously impressed, “Must’ve taken ages”

Shino accepts my compliment like he did my hello, with a slight inclination of his head, “Worked on the weekend”

I raise an eyebrow when I hear this, “You were here on the weekend?”

Shino nods once and takes a seat at one of the broad, tilted-face desks, “Dad teaches art”

I can’t help but laugh a little. I’ve seen Shino’s dad a few times and it’s odd to think that he’d be an art teacher. He looks like a grumpy samurai.

Shino looks at me curiously, “Going to join the art club?”

I raise my eyebrows at him, “If you’ll still have me, sure”

Shino nods, accepting that: “We meet Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays…sometimes on the weekends”

“Cool”, I say, starting to walk around the art room, looking at the types and qualities of the stuff around.

Working in an art’s supply store makes me a stickler when it comes to what I use to draw.

Shino shuffles a few papers behind me, “Come sit”

I promptly bounce over and sit where Shino makes me, “What are we doing?”

Shino sets a mechanical pencil down in front of me, its bright purple plastic catching and keeping my eyes while Shino puts an eraser down too, “Try some freehand”

I take the pencil, judging the weight and liking it, and pull a face, “Draw WHAT exactly?”

Shino cocks his head, “Freehand could mean anything”

That doesn’t do anything for my question but I decide that there is no point in waiting for a deeper answer since Shino moves to the edge of the room where the large windows are and turns on the CD player on the broadest window sill.

Strange music fills the room. There aren’t any words but it’s got like a Spanish club sound to it, but it’s not the kind of music I listen to.

Stalling before I try to draw, I watch Shino move to sit at his own desk, “What is this?”

Shino picks up his pencil and starts to sketch something, “Gotan Project”

Again, if I’m waiting for him to elaborate then I’m out of luck.

I look at my blank piece of paper and frown at it. Shino said anything but the problem is that I haven’t BEEN drawing; I’ve kind of forgotten how to start.

It used to come easily, details and memories, but my head is momentarily blank.

It’s like it’s on pause: plenty of ideas going in and being put under lock and key, limited access, and I can’t conjure up a single thought as to what I’d like to draw.

I listen to the music a bit more and slowly start to sketch. My initial start is a little tentative to be normal but I force my reluctance aside and continue.

Gaara’s angry face starts to form on the page.

Dark eyes, shaded heavily, with dark rings around them glare at something just off the right of my page. His gently sloping nose a passing thought as I move to his mildly pouting mouth. His lips are the tiniest bit pinched, like he’s on the verge of scowling but doesn’t quite. I hollow out his cheeks a bit to make him look older.

I draw the lip piercing as an afterthought and carefully start to sketch the Japanese tattoo from memory. Something tells me it’s off, but it looks right. I leave the hair and start on the slope of his neck, a little tense to match his mood, and his collarbones.

I add his shoulders after, also as gently sloping as his neck. Gaara’s got a flexible frame, not small exactly but clearly delicate in a way that makes him easy to recognize in anything he wears and draws attention to his person.

I start the hair when I’m satisfied with the definition in the shoulders. I make sure it falls a bit into the side of his face to leave his tattoo visible and make it longish around his ears and follow the line of his neck but never make it to his shoulders.

It takes me a second to realize that my paper-Gaara has no ears.

I draw them and try not to make it look like they were added after and they come out all right, I suppose.

I look at the picture every which way and can’t decide if it’s finished or not.

Biting my lip in mild irritation, I shadow the dips in his collarbones and the place a shadow would fall on his neck from his chin and shade the small area behind his nose and across the edge of his face where hair falls across it.

“Looks finished”

I jump and drop the pencil. It clatters loudly and Shino moves to pick it up.

I turn back to the picture, thoughtful, “Think so?”

Shino nods, sure, “Anymore could be just too much”

I frown when I hear this because I feel as though I should add more.

Shino hands me the pencil and elaborates, “Look at the eyes and the mouth…the way his whole face draws down with his expression”

In a way, looking at these key parts, I start to see what he means.

I put a lot of emphasis on his eyes and the set of his mouth, neck and shoulders. He looks guarded, wound up and defeated all in one expression.

“What’s this song called?”

Shino listens to the fading music: “Whatever Lola Wants”

‘Lola gets’ my mind adds.

I grin at the picture, realizing that it is finished, and sign my name and the date in the bottom of the page before setting it down.

“You’ve had lessons?”

Shino’s moved away and is packing up his own stuff.

“Nope, I taught myself. I watched cartoons on TV when I was a kid and used to sit around learning to copy things out on paper from memory. I can remember faintly being a kid and not having a camera…I made my own memories on paper so I could keep them…”

I stop myself from prattling by hurrying to clean up my own crap.

Those memories are the kind I have no interest in revisiting, especially since they are not all that clear to begin with.

Then something occurs to me: “Are you and me the only members?”

Shino nods, “Currently”

I purse my lip and think hard for a second, there’s got to be someone I could ask to join in.

It occurs to me also that Shino might not like some of my noisier friends (Sasuke) or my more pessimistic friends (Shika) and might just need someone as quiet as he is…Hinata maybe?

She is nice. A little odd maybe, but definitely a nice person. And anyway, she looked like she could use a hobby that didn’t involve going home to her mansion and sitting in padded rooms, reading books.

Not padded, of course: I’m being sarcastic, but I can imagine, faintly, what it must be like to live as protected a life as Hinata.

Neji told me a little about it once.

Actually, I double back on my thinking: Hinata can’t go many places if she’s not with Neji. Her dad’s a bit overprotective of her and expects her home at certain times and blah.

So, basically, no Hinata without Neji.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how long it took me to dismiss the idea altogether.

The bell rings while I try to find a place to put the stuff I borrowed.

Shino picks up my picture and tacks to the ‘finished’ art tag board in the room that is for displaying art. I want to protest, cause I want my picture back, but people are already filling into the room for class.

Shino raises an eyebrow at my clueless expression and grabs my wrist, leading me out of the room with a nod to his father.

~!@!~

Bio is nothing I’m wild about but I’m still thankful to get in right before the second bell.

Shika and Haku are arguing about something but fall silent when I get over. I plop down between them and ignore the way there are two pairs of eyes burning into my head on either side.

If they wanna know where I was at lunch so bad, they’re gonna hafta ask.

I busy myself flipping my notebook open to our last set of notes and stare, resolutely, ahead.

Haku is the first to break the ice, “Shika worried till gray hair started showing”

I see Shika scowl darkly out of the corner of my eye and smile, unrepentant, “I was busy”

Shika snorts, “I bet”

I frown and shrug, “You could’ve asked Sasuke or Gaara where I was”

Haku and Shika look at each other and Haku explains: “They came into the caf and Gaara was so cranky that they decided to take off”

My eyes widen until I’m sure they’ll fall out, “With each other?”

Haku grins, “And they haven’t been back since”

I settle back in my seat to go over how I feel about that. I know I said I wanted to play matchmaker but I figure if they manage on their own, that’s fine also. Although, there’s that huge possibility that I’m being stupid and that they are just developing a solid friendship, which could so be what’s going on too.

Shika leans back on his stool so far, my hands itch to pull him back, “I saw them in the parking lot; they didn’t leave”

Haku looks about as curious about that as I do, but Shika just smirks and clams up, happy to be in on something we have no idea about.

“Meanie”, I say unnecessarily loud.

Shika smirks, as equally unrepentant as I was about his worrying, “I know”

~!@!~

Sasuke is slouching in his chair, his audio-notebook in his lap and looks so bored it isn’t even funny.

Bio went by in a blur, since all Sensei did was chat out ears off about the beginning of evolution on the planet and now I’m in Spanish.

We’re listening to a recording of a fairy tale told in Spanish and will have to answer a few questions about it. Since it’s Monday, it’s a welcome break from the work we normally have to do, which includes conversing only in Spanish while in the classroom.

That actually doesn’t bother me because I like Spanish; it appeals to my tiny romantic side.

Sasuke ditched his Nike top and wrapped the long sleeves around his waist and is now going around in a deeply black shirt that looks a size or two too small with the way it clings to his skin.

I haven’t worked up the courage to ask him about Gaara yet because I haven’t thought of a way to voice it without it sounding like I’m trying to get all up into his business.

So I settle for actually listening to the audiotape.

Some part of me starts to think of Neji for the first time today.

I caught a glimpse of him talking to Hinata outside her home-economics class just a few doors down from here and literally stopped in my tracks.

It wasn’t an intended reaction and it even got me more embarrassed then I would’ve liked since Neji also noticed when I was starring like I’d never seen him before.

Luckily, or mercifully, I ended up stopping Sasuke right behind me and he didn’t take kindly to me holding up hall traffic.

He literally proceeded to frog march me into class.

I might have seen Neji scowl for real but it can’t be sure and anyway, I shudder to think how annoyed he must have been if that was the case.

As is, the depression that hadn’t managed to sneak up on me during the rest of Sunday is laying it on thick now that I’m no longer cloudy headed from bawling.

I miss him, absolutely and completely, in a way that disturbs me a little. I’m way more attached then even I was aware of and I wish that Neji would hurry up and talk to me.

To try and rid my head from increasingly pitiful thoughts, I reach across the table and pick up Sasuke’s hand.

He flinches ever so slightly but I ignore it and push up the wristband he’s wearing to have a look at the state of his healing wrist.

The bruises have mellowed out to an even blue green and seen to have shrunk a little.

I turn his vaguely larger hand in mine to look at the backside of the bruising and pull his wristband back when I’m satisfied.

My actions were cognizant in the way that they were careful but deliberate, giving Sasuke a chance to snatch his hand back if he wanted to.

He didn’t.

I put it back down, into his lap, and turn back to listening to the audiotape, ignoring the way he’s starring at me.

Now that I think seriously about it, I don’t want to know if there is anything going on between Gaara and Sasuke, not because I don’t care but because I sort of have my own problems to sort out and they are all revolving around one person right now: Neji.

It occurs to me that even while I was going out with Neji, there wasn’t much about him that I actually knew. I thought I was going to get around to understanding him, eventually, but all that’s put on hold until Neji says it’s not.

As far as I’m concerned, I’m in no position to say anything.

That doesn’t mean that I can’t hurry things up, though, right?

~!@!~

Apprehension is a very nasty feeling to have.

It means your nervous, unsure and lacking confidence.

Shino ended up ambushing me outside Spanish and told me he had someone in mind for joining the art club.

Sasuke, who was never taught how to mind his own business anyway, tagged along.

Now, here’s where the apprehension comes in.

It’s the end of the day, so we’re headed for the locker room to find this mystery person.

Clue number one as to why this is going to be scary comes from the fact that were headed for where my 1st period classes lockers are.

Clue number two comes from the fact that Shino says ‘she’s’ got to ask her cousin if she can stay.

There ends up being no need for clue number three since we go around the locker to the side where I know Neji’s is.

He’s put his hair up in a loose ponytail and is placing the books he doesn’t need into his locker with his habitual poise.

Hinata is standing between us and him, talking somewhat animatedly (for her, anyway) to him about something.

Shino doesn’t seem to notice the way I freeze, but Sasuke looks at me oddly before putting his hand on the small of my back and urging me forward.

I don’t look at him, but fix my eyes instead on Shino’s hand on my wrist.

I feel like protesting or backing down, but the words are stuck in my throat.

A surprised squeak is the only thing I manage when I bump into Shino’s back as he comes to a stop next to Hinata.

Hinata starts to talk to Shino but I don’t register the words.

I look up, cautiously, to find Neji’s eyes one me.

Sometime before I looked up, he slipped his shades on and his blue-turned-silver-eyes are studying me. It takes me a second to understand why they flick off me suddenly and rest somewhere to my left.

Sasuke is starring back at him with a look not nearly as disinterested as it should be.

Neji’s face smoothes itself into indifference and he turns away from us altogether.

I feel Sasuke tense to move next to me and manage to reach out and grab hold of the back of his track pants.

He pauses, looking at me, frowning.

I shake my head, as if asking him not to do anything, and let go.

I’m not sure what that dismissive thing with Neji means but I do know that I don’t want them fighting because of me.

Sasuke glares at me for a second but stands still. I look at him out of the corner of my eyes and see a surprised look pass over his features before he goes back to looking angry.

Just when I think I’m going to get out of this Scot free, Sasuke opens his mouth: “So, what, you throw him away when your done with him?”

Shino and Hinata both pause, questioning looks on their faces.

Neji doesn’t even show sign of having heard.

Sasuke glares at his back, “Fine for you, I guess. Not like you actually liked him or anything”

I panic a little when I realize that although Shino and Hinata don’t understand what Sasuke’s talking about, both Neji and I do.

Neji pauses this time, turning to look at Sasuke.

It surprises me how mad he openly seems.

Sasuke shrugs at his look, “Must be nice to be above respecting feelings”

The locker room is crowded, at least thirty or so students standing in our immediate area, but the echo of metal creaking slightly when Neji smashes Sasuke into a locker is louder then the din around us.

Sasuke doesn’t seem the least bit hurt if the way he smirks means anything.

Neji backs off him but Sasuke reaches up and shoves him off.

They square off silently until Sasuke decides to speak again, “What’s the point of getting mad if what I say is true?”

Neji slowly pushes his shades up off his face and uses them to push his bangs back. He pushes his gray long sleeves up a little and steps back up into Sasuke’s face, “Not here”

Sasuke shrugs, “Why? Because your not ready to deal with this yet?”

Neji shoves Sasuke back into the locker with such force that Sasuke slides into a crouch, frowning, “Wrong”

Neji scowls down at Sasuke, “You’re the one who disregards peoples feelings”

Neji turns and points to me.

I suddenly become aware of the way my cheeks are burning, my eyes stinging.

I’m crying.

Not a lot but there are the telltale tears.

My fists are clenched and my whole body is telling me to get out of here. The only problem is that I can’t make myself move.

I don’t remember, later, which happened first: Shika and Haku showing up or Kakashi Sensei taking control of the situation.

I remember only the way Haku looped an arm through mine and the way Sensei managed to disperse the group of watchers.

It’s okay, I suppose, since nothing after that much mattered anyway…

~!@!~

“Are you sure you can work today, Kiddo?”

Anko leans over me, her usual smile turned down at the edges.

I grin easily, my mask firmly in place by now, and put down my math textbook, “M’okay”

She frowns and jabs me in the ribs, “Sure you are…but, seriously, I’m asking cause your friends are gonna dismember me if anything happens while your on my watch”

I grin wider, for real, remembering the way Shika and Haku had dragged a loudly protesting Anko-San into the back room to ‘talk’ to her.

She smacks me in the back of the head and laughs at the way my eyes tear up, “Geez, kids these days”

I shrug and rub the back of my head before shooing her off.

I get along better with her now then when I first started working for her, but that doesn’t mean I’m any good at dealing with her crazy moods.

I turn back to my math and put it away, though it’s only about half finished and stare outside for a bit.

It’s still very light outside and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve ever felt this lonely before.

Neji must be really mad, wherever he is right now, and the same goes for Sasuke.

I know that the tension between those two could have broken anytime but it’s still not so great that it broke right then, over me, in the middle of a crowded locker room.

It’s not so much the public part of it that bothers me: it’s the personal part.

Although the fight was bad in every which way, some good came of it.

I finally understand a little more about Neji’s personality.

He wears a mask too; probably even more well made then mine, and uses it all the time.

He is a calm person by nature but he seals his emotions through practice.

His lack of sentiment when I confessed wasn’t a rejection; it was him stalling for the time he needed to think things over.

He dealt with it the way he usually does, by being calm, reserved and removed not because he doesn’t care but precisely because he does.

Perfectionists don’t like to make mistakes. They like to have a procedure or a strategy, even if it’s one they unconsciously follow.

Basically, Neji isn’t all that indifferent to what I feel; he’s probably just trying to understand is all.

“Oy”

The deep voice startles me and I look up, the apology dying on my lips.

I recognize that tanned skin, sharp features, wicked grin: “Kisame”

He’s leaning on the counter, almost eyes to eye with me and I almost topple off my stool with the realization.

His hand shoots out and grabs my upper arm, steadying me, laughing while he does it, “Long time no see, brat”

I stare at him, bewildered, while another familiar voice answers for me, “Your scarring him”

My eyes widen as Itachi pokes is head out over Kisame’s shoulder, “Itachi-San”

Itachi taps Kisame’s arm absently and the large hand let’s me go slowly, ready to steady me a second time.

I flush a little and stand, “Was there something you needed?”

Itachi’s eyes trace over my face, as if committing my slightly red eyes and flushed cheeks to memory.

Self-consciously, I grin to cover my embarrassment.

Kisame watches this with amusement, “Who’s the one scarring him now?”

Itachi looks right at me then, “I don’t scare him”

Kisame smirks, “What are you talking about? You scare everybody”

Itachi silently places a large package on the counter, maybe five or six wrapped canvases, “These are for Friday”

His eyes seem to ask me thousands of questions and I answer without realizing, “I’m okay. Nothing happened”

Kisame raises an eyebrow, still amused and Itachi nods slowly, “Good”

Anko makes a racket from the backroom, cursing loudly at someone over the phone.

I look at the packages, “Sasuke-“

Itachi interrupts, “Is fine”

Kisame scoffs, “Seemed pissed to me”

I shake my head, smiling weakly, “Then he’s fine”

Itachi’s hand lifts my chin until his eyes meet mine, “For Friday” he reminds me, quietly.

I nod, meekly, “I won’t forget”

Itachi moves to leave but Kisame shoves his hands in his pockets, stalling, “He doesn’t scare you?”

We’re both looking at Itachi who’s already outside and is waiting, “He does”

Kisame gives me a once over before leaving too, “He should”

I watch them leave, the knot in my stomach slowly relaxing when they finally disappear from my sight and I sit back down on my stool.

Today was a long day.

~!@!~


TBC...