Killing Me

Author’s Notes:

Belated happy birthday To random person with no life :) hope you had a good birthday last oct 21 :)

Sorry it took me a little too long to upload this fic. Tell me if it’s becoming disappointing or what…I think I am running out of juicy ideas that I could use on this fic…

DISCLAIMER:

This is a very painful discovery for me. There is no way in hell I could own Naruto.

Sigh.

Darn it.

Killing Me
By Boyarina

Chapter 7: Yamanaka Ino


There are two things that I would like to say.

One: screaming does not suit me at all because I sound like a bleating sheep being gutted with a pen knife by a sadistic teenager high in morphine. The said teen is heard to be repeating over and over again “I can’t feel anything! I am numb! I can’t feel pain! I envy this creature!” as he (or she) hacked the poor animal’s body into pieces. I, being the bleating sheep, could not do anything other than cry dissonantly while bits and piece of me gets to be thrown around like confetti, teetering between attacking the cruel human or staying there whilst million sections of me get to be strewn all over the floor.

It is good that I have stopped screeching my head off. I should not even be screaming in the first place at all. I should have controlled my fears and should have known that the body pressing in on mine is not going to do anything else but be a dead weight.

Two: I am declaring war to all male in general and I would consider all male shinobi the most repugnant class of the species. More so, I would consider Hyuuga Neji to be their ring leader for he had been the one to rub it in my face that I could be reduced into a hapless screaming female who did not use her common sense and succumbed to the use of her pipe hole as a last desperate resort. He purposely made me look pathetic while acting as if he is here to help me.

Together with the sadistic teenager, they both ought to rot in the seventh level of hell.

”Do you know how much you weigh, sempai?” I asked grouchily, shifting a little bit to free my crushed right lung. He had stayed resolutely quiet after I had stomped him with the question of why he chose to stay instead of just vanishing off to where he needs to be. This is why I am diverting off from that topic and trying a different tactic to get him to release me.

Seriously, if he feels the need to lie around on his belly on top of someone all day, he would just have to get another human pillow and…and….let me go! I have better things to do than mull over what I had done, which is exactly what my mind is trying to force me to do right now. I have to
occupy myself with anything but the stupid stunt that I had concocted and brainlessly followed through so I can feel valued. I just have to settle for the fact that in my station in life, this is as
far as I can get to be valued.

Who had I been fooling anyway when I did this? I couldn’t believe I actually hoped that a hero is going to save me. I should have used my common sense and figured it out on my own that this is all there is in store for me. It’s enough, you know? I ought to be content because it is enough. I
should have been satisfied with the logic that it doesn’t make me less of a human by just living the way of the shinobi.

It’s not all that bad now that I had thought real hard about it. It’s just going to be like what I had been doing all these time. Scout the area for bobby traps in the morning, patrol Konoha on the day the Hokage appoints me to do so, go on missions to get rid of those that are a threat to
Konoha every other day of the week, and finally go home, eat, and sleep. It doesn’t really matter if I would go home to a quiet apartment that houses only myself and the assorted number of things that I have acquired over the years. It wouldn’t really matter that I would be going home not because there would be that someone waiting for me to come back to him and vice versa. There is always ma and da to come home to. There’s always Chouji or Shika that I could bother (in the times that they are not busy with their families) if I would begin to feel insanely lonely.

Everything’s gonna turn out okay. I would not entirely be alone. I would have somebody with me….on occasions. This is enough.

“Would this happen to be your squash the defenseless girl jutsu, sempai?” I asked, gasping a little as I ran low on the supply of oxygen in my lungs. His weight on top of me is not the most comforting feeling in the world. This coupled together with the fact that he had wrestled me far too many times already is seriously draining me of much needed air in order to continue living. Seriously, I wouldn’t put it past Hyuuga if he considers squeezing the life out of me as a part of his grand plan to “help me out.”

Ah well. He probably should just proceed. He might even actually have my blessings on it.

“I wouldn’t exactly call you defenseless, Yamanaka-san. That shrill voice of yours could frazzle anyone’s brains within the ten-mile radius.”

The gall of this guy to find this situation hilarious. I could hear it in his voice that he is smirking! And he is smirking like he is having a jolly good time at it! Ohhhh…he is purposely making me mad. I am not gonna fall for that bait. Oh no. Not this gal. If he wants to have War of the Words: Straining One’s Patience, I am in now way going to lose!

“I hoped I frazzled yours good, sempai.” I replied in full sincerity. “In exchange for using me as a mattress when there’s a perfectly good bed to lie unto.”

“I used you as a ‘mattress’, as you call it, because if you had failed to get it to your attention before, you were hell bent on making me your punching bag.”

All humor fled me though I have tried my darndest to seize it back to my person. What he said is pissing me off, again. He and his words just have the knack on grating on my nerves and there is no doubt that they are doing it deliberately.

“Sempai, you have provoked me. You probably have forgotten.” I don’t know if he actually understood me since words tend to get garbled when said through clenched teeth, and through tightly pursed lips. “And now you are crushing the life out of me.”

“All that I did because you are being moronic. Your turn.”

Yes, officially, I truly hate Hyuuga Neji. In one of my better opinions regarding what he should be getting in the after life, throwing him in a guano island and burying him neck-deep into the crap would be too good for him.

“I don’t want to exchange barbs with you all day. In fact, I think I may not have the whole day. You’ll get me killed by strangulation in an hour or two, maybe less.” I tried to shrug casually, but seeing that I am pinned to the last inch of me, I did not quite execute what could have remotely been a shrug. “Has anyone ever told you, that you weigh a ton, sempai?”

“I am lean. I am pure muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. Ergo, I am heavy. I do not, however, weigh a ton.” He said, matter-of-factly. If I am not mistaken, I think I heard a dash of defensive tone in his voice.

“You are still going to get me strangled, either way.”

Neji sighed and rolled over, finally deeming it the right time to let me up. It actually was a good idea to then sit-up and stand so I could take my leave. But, contrary to my better judgement, I stayed put. Likewise, (to my somewhat mixed feeling of gratitude and agitation), Hyuuga did the same. Using his hands as pillows, he cupped the back of his head, laid back and stared at the ceiling.

“You’re stupid”, he said angrily. Too angrily, in fact. When I looked over at him (to let him know just what I think regarding what he said) and saw that he is pissed enough for his eyes to bore large gaping holes through the plaster above our heads, I clamped my lips shut.

This probably is not the time to be impertinent.

Hey, look at that, I’m using my common sense for once.

“You do know that I will not try anything...disgraceful, right, Yamanaka-san?”

Inside my head, I am nodding. I really am, but I would not give him the benefit of seeing me completely agreeing with him. That’s like openly admitting that I AM STUPID, which for your information, excuse me, I do NOT make the habit of doing. My actions (the very actions that led me to this state) MAYBE stupid, I however, AM NOT going to parade it around with me as the advertising model.

Neji-sempai growled deep within his throat when I didn’t answer him. I was very much inclined to roll my eyes and grunt an incomprehensible reply to that, but his eyes slid on mine, freezing me from doing the act.

“I’ll have you know that I am not a heartless bastard.”

“I am aware of that.”

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

A week has passed. I haven’t seen a single strand of hair nor an inch of hide that belongs to Neji ever since the day he brought me home and left me without so much as an ‘adieu’. Not that I am seeking him out or anything. I just want to point out that though I have shared one very traumatic incident with him, it had in no way got us to be closer than just mere acquaintances that you simply acknowledge with a nod or a ‘hi’ whenever you pass them along the streets.

A week has passed and I wish I could already forget what I had done and what he had done for me. It really should have been easy--a mere matter of busying myself to the tiniest inconsequential thing that I can think of; busying myself so much that I could quickly drop down on my bed at the end of each day and fall asleep without any problems. However, despite the fact that I occupy myself religiously with everything I really need not do, I would always end up somehow, reminiscing what happened to me.

The worst deal about this reminiscing business is that my mind does not spare me even of the details I would have gladly chopped to pieces, incinerated by the fires of hell and have the ashes scattered into outer space. Like any normal rape victim, I would rather not remember the times when sweaty bodies are grinding into me without my willing consent, having all my passages invaded like they are tunnels meant to have anything to pass through them and getting beaten and slapped as though you are though destined for the creation of a thin crust pizza.

I would have said that one good thing about me remembering myself getting raped is that I can’t recall the faces of the men that assaulted me, but this minute detail is superseded by the fact that I see Neji’s face superimposed on their faces instead. I find it greatly disturbing and stupendously mind-numbing that I could imagine (or daydream) a power hungry, sex-starved Neji slamming into me time and time and time again. I’m telling you, it’s not very comforting and it’s getting me hot and sweaty at places I should not even be sweating.

After days having alternating night-dreams and daydreams of Neji rescuing me and being one of my rapists, I finally figured out that this might be my punishment for not thanking Neji properly—for getting me to a safe place, for replacing my tattered clothing, and bringing me back home. This is the reason why I am standing right now in front at the Hyuuga compound, a lunch basket in one had, with the other one poised to knock on the large oaken gates.

Hopefully, Neji would be here so I could thank him and personally hand the gift over. But, if not, well, at least, I did something, right? That should count enough to stop the dreams, shouldn’t it?

“Ino-chan?”

I looked to my left and pulled the hand I was about to knock the gates with. On my side, just a few feet away, was Hinata with a man on her side and Neji not far behind.

“Hinata-chan!” I greeted, breaking into smile. I bowed to her and to the man beside her, then held the basket for the purpose of getting their attention to focus solely on it and not to me.

“My mother sent this to thank Neji-sempai for helping her with the flowers last week.” I said to ease the befuddlement on their faces; using the excuse I made up in the case I could not give Neji the gift without the hassle of someone being there to witness it.

Neji’s byakugan got activated as Hinata took the basket from my outstretched hand. I couldn’t entirely fault him for being cautious considering that my explanation does not add up to anything that happened in relation to him or to me.

He perused the basket for one very long minute (it took eons for him to finish investigating it), then moved on to assess me, most likely checking to see if I indeed am Yamanaka Ino.

I felt my smile crack when he stared me longer than what he had done so with the basket, particular focusing on one body part which I am pretty sure I have all covered up. I know all Hyuugas are very strict when it comes to clothing that is why I had ascertained I got myself attired like a moral-driven novice.

Why is he looking at my stomach like that then? Why is his face all tight and angry?

“We greatly appreciate the gesture,” Neji spoke, addressing his words to me through thinned lips. “Hinata-sama, go on ahead. I need to talk to Yamanaka-san for a moment.”

Me, Hinata and her man bowed to each other before they proceeded on getting inside the Hyuuga compound. All the while I was trying to keep my expression bland and had even given Hinata a nonchalant shrug when she cast me a questioning glance.

“What is it?” I asked, coolly batting away concern, agitation and anxiousness the second Hinata and her companion’s footsteps vanished from my range of hearing. To my frustration, instead of answering me immediately, Neji started walking rapidly away.

“Let’s get you somewhere you could sit,” he tossed over his shoulder, as he continued with his brisk strides. I would have been perfectly fine where I am right now, but considering that I won’t get any answers without his presence (darn you answers, just jump from his brain and get into my head already!) I doggedly followed his tracks.

Upon reaching, a secluded area of the forest, he suddenly gripped my arm and forced me to sit on a boulder we chanced upon. He squatted in front of me and launched into another session of ‘observe-Yamanaka-Ino’s-stomach-like-it’s-one-discovery-that-would-change-the-whole-era.’

“Have you been feeling a little funny nowadays?” he asked curtly.

I frowned. “No. You seeing something that shouldn’t be there, sempai? A tumor?”

“It’s…” he shook his head and patted my knee. “You’re going to be a mother, Ino-san.”