Look At Me

Hello lovelies,

I just finished taking my finals last week. So until i go to spain i'm all yours for updates. while im there im not going to have internet acess because i'm working for a bakery in segovia. so i'll write it out longhand. (the things i do for ya'll)

My little sister AJ has graciously agreed to beta my first 8 or 9 chapters (shes very good with grammar where as i lack and she can tell me when i ramble). It may take awhile because we no longer live in the same room as we did when we were younger and she asked for a printed version to edit, so i have to drop it off when i feel less lazy.
It was kind of awkward to ask her because she is in her last year of highschool and i can't picture her as a mature adult. which by united states fedral law, technically she is. and AJ+sex refrences= something i wasn't willing to do for a while. but im getting over it. the story hasn't got sexual yet but it will soon.

haha sorry that was so long. who reads my authors notes anyway?

xoxoxo
Mia

PS. im still trying to get my writing flowy again. i posted stuff for a long time in highschool but at the current time im rather out of practice. i haven't written in 6 monthes and posted in over a year and a half due to personal issues so if you feel the need to flame me im not going to complain. in fact that happens to be where people are the most specific about what the author needs to improve on even if normally stated in profanity....

reviewers:

its been so long.....

Ane S. Thesia-
thank you so much!!!! i think i answered why my writing is getting less awkward and more fluent above.

beccapatty- i love hearing people say that they think my characters are on canon. because i'm a little OCD with characters being canon. like when Kakashi blushes about something sexual! ahh! i hate that. the man reads porn in public for god sake! aloof mature characters in my extremely humble opion would never blush about something so trivial.

poornmiserable- this fic is going to go well into the mission and beyond. as for the naruto letting it slip thing..... you are a sharp one. how is sasuke going to feel about this? well i already know.... but you are going to have wait.


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“I just meant that I deserve a reward for respecting your space. I mean if it were Sasuke or Naruto they would have taken advantage of the situation. I was being noble.” Sakura said playfully to her sensei over her favorite type of barbecue, though the older nin could sense her anxiety about the her upcoming mission; her smile was forced.

“Aah. But it wouldn’t be noble if you asked for something in return.” The silver haired ninja answered. Sakura sighed. She hadn’t actually expected him to agree. She also knew that the only reason she was engaging him in this pointless banter was to delay the uncomfortable conversation to come. However, Kami was on her side. The waiter came with several more plates of steaming barbecue and the pink haired young woman busily dug in again putting off the talk until she was finished atleast.

Kakashi sat on the other side of the booth from his pink haired ex-student. her fake calm demeanor was admirable, but transparent to someone as sentient as himself. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her, to tell her that he was going to protect her from everyone and everything, and he twitched unnoticeably. He would not lose control. This is Sakura. Student. Innocent. Uchiha obsessed. Sakura. Kakashi looked up from the spot on the wall he had been staring at, seemingly aloof. He almost released a breath he hadn’t know he was holding. Sakura was currently extremely interested in her the recently delivered food. She hadn’t seen his hand that may or may not have reached for hers.

Sakura was acting wrapped up in her barbecue for what the Copy-nin assumed was her pride. The girl seemed to think that she needed to prove her self all at every possible opportunity. The medic protégé must have believed that if he could not see her eyes then he wouldn’t realize her disquiet. She under estimated his powers of observation. Kakashi had sensed that there was something she needed to talk about. He read people in general well but Sakura he was on a whole diffrent level with. Apart from the rather alarming faux show of acceptance and lack of anxiety there was an issue or question on the tip of her tongue. Every so often she would glance up from her food and then quickly look back down.

“You have never been coy with me Sakura. If you need to talk about your choice I am listening.” Kakashi stated plainly slight dark humor tinged his words. It was a polite way of saying spit it out.

“Kakashi. I am fin-“ Sakura tried to say. The other occupant of the table giving her a poignant, skeptic look cut her off. Although he hadn’t said anything yet, his covered features showed a look of serious concern.

“I'll believe you if you tell me that you are fine, Sakura. I was just telling you I am available to listen.” The ever understanding man met Sakura’s eyes with his only visible one. His aloof statements and attitude were a result of his childhood and teenage experiences. He had a pretty good idea of what sacrifice meant. Two of the people he had respected above all others in his childhood had died for the village or because of the village, his father and the Yondaime.

“This is different. It’s about Sasuke. I don’t…. understand him?” Sakura said trying her best to express what she was trying to tell him but she had a hunch she wasn't being very clear.

“What about Sasuke?” Kakashi questioned calmly, he almost sounded interested. Sasuke was the spitting image of himself in younger years in demeanor. Things that baffled the young medic were understandable to the older nin because Kakashi had previously had the same problems and more specificly dealt with them in the same ways.

“He’s been… different lately.” Her sentences were halting and uncomfortable. Sakura didn’t want to reiterate what had happened to Kakashi. It was like asking the hot best friend of your older brother, who is practically part of the family, for advice and having to tell him about your limited experiences. It was pretty humiliating. The only reason Sakura wasn’t blushing was due to her pride, but the part of her brain that was in charge of keeping up her image told her that she needed to get to it before her very limited self control shattered and her mature and experiences facade wavered.

'I'm putting way to much thought into this.' Sakura realized. 'I can do this. It's just Kakashi, I'm being irrational. Chances are he will crack a bad joke, tell me in the vaugest and most unexplicit way what Sasuke means and then bring out his book and it will be forgotton.' With these thoughts of comfort she took in a covert breath. She gathered her wits and continued her sentences in a punctuated manner, which the pink nin considered step above her previously tapering sentences on a maturity scale.

“He kissed me. Not like peck on the cheek, but full on kissed me. Then he suddenly stopped made it seem like he had done it to prove that I was weak. It was almost like… he was worried.” Sakura had mad masked attempts to gage the reaction of her sensei but it was impossible. The man had a poker face like Sai's. It was his sole female former student extremely nervous.

Kakashi was not responding. The air was filled with silence. Nothing. This could be bad or normal with her old sensei Sakura was never sure. She looked up from her chopsticks, which she had been playing with. Kakashi was surveying her with calm curiosity. Inside he was feeling a little less then happy with the Uchiha, but he had no claims over the pretty; pink haired woman and she had come to him for advice so he ignored the feeling in his gut to lie.

“Sakura.” Kakashi paused to sigh. These types of talks made him regret having taught her. He had no exceptional understanding of the female person, this rule applied in tenfold when that person of the female variety was a very attractive friend who apeared to be clueless. “You can’t possibly think that he isn’t worried. You have been forced by the council to take a mission that at the very least involves some unwanted.... sexual experiences. He is protective of you and Naruto and also obviously……….” Kakashi didn’t want to finish his sentence and tell her something that she’d been wanting to here since she was 6.

“Obviously…?” Sakura repeated praying that he was not going to answer inebriated.

“Attracted to you.” The silver haired nin finshed reluctantly but his tone sounded bored with only a slight annoyed edge to it. Sakura stared at him so incredulously it boredered on amazement. Soon the look was completely wiped off and replaced with a scowl.

“Kaka-sensei. I really wanted to know. Making sarcastic comments about obsessions I had when I was younger was not what I needed.” Sakura said coolly.

“I wasn’t.” He said exasperatedly, establishing that the conversation had to end. “ Sakura, why do you think he went with Naruto every time Naruto went after someone interested in you?”

“To protect that idiot of course and to make sure no one…. Messed up our group dynamics? He said something about not wanting to deal with another guy….” She trailed off trying to find more proof. She settled on the obvious, “Sasuke has always been repulsed by me.” But even she said the words they seemed incorrect. Naruto had been selected as the Rokudaime Hokage after Tsunade retired and Sasuke had been the Otokage, and they fought on an even level. Neither one of them was in need of protection from her chunin or low level Jounin admirers that she had recently found out existed.

“Aah. Well you could be right. I’m not going to sit here and try and convince you.” Kakashi had eased his guilt about his fascination with his rather innocent student by telling her the truth, but that didn’t mean he had to drive the point home. They ate their barbecue in the absence of conversation.

Sakura had yet to broach the second, even more socially painful subject. She was still stuck on pondering the first. She couldn’t really believe Kakashi because of whom they were talking about. Part of her, the part dominated by what used to be inner Sakura, wanted Kakashi’s prediction to be true for the sole purpose of rejecting Sasuke and avenging herself against him for his mistreatment of her younger self. Her more moral side told her that reasoning was rather unhealthy. With a deep intake of breath Sakura placed all thoughts about the mien of her dark haired friend in the back of her brain and prepared to approach tricky topic number two.

“One more thing.” Sakura said quickly and Kakashi quirked an eyebrow sensing her abnormal heart rate from years of assassination missions. “I’m going to sleep with Naruto…..ok?” Kakashi just stared.


*****

Sai stood several meters in front of a distant Sasuke and a fidgeting Naruto. He may have been slightly worried about Sakura but for him it had always been ninja duties above all else. He refused to let these new emotions get the better of the current assignment: Get information out of this bartender. That was the order directly from the Hokage. Sai let himself focus on the location. He did a 360 degree search of the area. Checking for signs of the target. Giving a discrete signal he went toward the bar as Sasuke sat at a near table with his blonde rival.

The extremely pale bartender he had been looking for was there. He sighed. It wasn’t that he had a problem in engaging in the activity Sakura had been trying to teach him, he didn’t care either way, he just didn’t like activities he couldn’t find a practical use for.

“Mao-san. May I have some sake?” Sai asked politely to the unnaturally pale bartender.

“Of course Sai-kun.” She poured the liquor and gave what Sai thought was an unattractive, ridiculous and sickly giggle that he was amazed didn’t detach her weak unusually thing limbs from her body. “ Anything else.” Mao let the question hang as the ink user took a sip of his sake and she went into a second coughing/giggling fit.

“Actually Mao-san….” Sai began. “I was going to ask you if you’ve changed your hair it looks shinier then usual.” His complement would not have been so well received if it had been given to a prettier girl because he made the statement robotically and rather insincere. However, Mao drank up his words and gave more of her ailing chuckles that made Sai outwardly cringe; and that too went unnoticed by the pitiable girl.

“Sai-kun!” Mao squealed. “I changed conditioners last Friday. I can’t believe you noticed.” She patted her hair aggressively.

“Mao-san what can you tell me about the newest bartender. The one who served Sakura the last time I was here.” Sai tried to steer the conversation away from Mao’s personal hygiene products. Sakura’s aadvice on flattering women was to tell them what they wanted to hear. The only problem was that Sai had no idea what Mao, or any other girl, would want to be told. He decided it was in his best intrest to get straight to the point.

“You mean 4 days ago…? I don’t really remember. Sakura is the pink haired one… right?” Mao’s sentences were steeped with confusion and her attempts to recall. “The newest bartender is Gorozawa. He started like a month ago.”

“Is he big and stupid looking?” Sai inquired in his false cheery tone. Mao chortled effectively coughing all over the bar making patrons move away. When she could breathe again she nodded and opened her mouth but Sai cut her off before she could ramble further.

“ Are there any other bartenders that look like him?” Sai quickly put in.

“No… What is this all about….?” Mao looked severely disappointed that Sai had not come over to the bar to talk about her hair and she looked tired of the conversation so Sai had to find a way to keep her interested or end it quickly. Or both. Sai smirked when a cover story crossed his mind.

“My friend Uchiha-san would like to get in to that bartender’s pants. Only he is to shy to come over and find the man himself. Could you tell me where he could find Gorozawa?” At this news Mao squealed a third time and the loudest yet. She leaned onto the bar to whisper in Sai’s ear excitedly.

“I heard he was guys.” She babbled. “Izumo told me when he was picking up sake for the hokage! So it’s true! I wonder if he’ll let me watch! But why Gorozawa? I mean Sasuke-kun could have anyone...”

“Uchiha-san enjoys being bottom.” Sai continued lying flawlessly. “He feels that Gorozowo-“

“Gorozawa-” Mao corrected but the expression on her face told him she was off in fantasy land.

“Right. Him. He feels that he is big enough for the…. Challenge.” Sai added. His fake smile turning into a smirk. “Where would he be now?”

“He’s storing liquor in the downstairs cellar. If you and Sasuke-kun ever….. well if you and Sasuke ever take your relationship to the next level, I’d love to watch…” Mao purred in Sai’s ear. The reference nonetheless went over Sai’s head.

“Uchiha-san and I fight on an almost parallel level. He could never be my sensei……” Stated Sai slightly puzzled and completely missing the innuendo, but already moving toward the table where Sasuke and Naruto sat.

“Liqueur cellar in the basement.” Sai murmured to the two younger boys. Sasuke and Naruto followed Sai toward a door that said ‘employee’s only’. As Sai reached for the door Mao turned directly toward Sasuke from the bar and waved yelling “good luck” in her voice. Sasuke looked at his equally dark haired teammate with a mixture of concealed confusion and anger.

“ I hope you were discreet.” The Uchiha stated in a deadly calm as the three boys walked down the staircase into the basement. “If you even know how…” He murmured mostly to himself.

“Don’t worry Sasuke-san I was very discreet.” Sai smirked. Sakura told him recently that he was angering Sasuke by telling other villagers and ninja that the other boy was a homosexual. Sai himself didn’t understand exactly what was so bad about others believing Sasuke to desire men. Or why Sasuke himself had an apparent problem with the preference. He didn’t see it as a crisis; he didn’t even think it mattered. He had originally started telling girls that to help the Uchiha with his crazed fan girl problem, after he read about doing nice things for others to strengthen friendship bonds. Now though he told people just for the amusement of Sasuke trying to correct the rumor.

“Get the seal out, Bastard.” Naruto interjected breaking off the glare from the avenger, on blank look from the ink user, staring contest his two companions were having. “We’re going to need to bag this guy quickly and then leave even quicker.” Sasuke nodded and pulled a large scroll out of his Jounin vest.

Sai quietly peaked down the hall to see the target approaching with a heavy crate of beer even the large man could not see over. Rage filled his accomplice’s facades. Naruto barreled from behind Sai to tackle the mark closely followed by Sasuke. Only before mentioned mark happened to be carrying a two ton crate of alcoholic beverages. It crashed as the man Sai assumed was Gorozawa was clothes lined by an irate Naruto and kicked in the back of the head sharply by a fiery eyed Sasuke.

“Question.” Sai stated in ironically. “What happens if that does not happen to be Gorozawa?.........” He let the boys take in that bit of reason. Naruto looked bashful and Sasuke looked blank.

"Or did you not think that far? Well it’s too late now. I hope you didn’t kill him, he’s useless unless he can answer questions. Grab him and let’s go. Someone will have heard him and Dickless fall and someone certainly heard the impact of alcohol in the box and it shattering.” Sai finished of his condescending series of orders with his off smile. The two boys hoisted the large man in between them. Opening the seal as Naruto pricked his finger.

Sai hoped that this actually was Gorozawa. And more importantly that Gorozawa was the man that they needed. They were reacting off of very little information, a shitload of ifs and maybes. It wasn’t even good information. He hoped fortune was on their sides for once. But when he thought about it, as he Naruto, Sasuke and the man; who Sai could only surmise was the lackey of whoever drugged Haruno-san, were teleported via jutsu to Sai's apartment, Team Kakashi had a very lousy track record when it came to luck. Luck was never on their respective sides.

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god as much as i hate OC's (if you wanted to read about characters not from naruto you'd go by a book right?) they were not optional. because i couldn't have like karin or hanabi or someother minor girl character being the girl bartender. it wouldn't make sense. (ex: what would karin being doing in konoha....? as a bartender!!! and hanabi doesn't need to have a job.... shes loaded.) and gorozawa.... well he was important too for the same reasons.

this was short because i wanted to get a chapter out.

(the line below comes straight off a poster from my university library just take out review and add read. god knows i know exactly what it looks like now, after countless hours of studying in there. [people actually are quiet in those; still i was amazed])

****Reviewing.... its what the all cool kids are doing***

if you read the above line and questioned my sanity and why i have so much spare time on my hands you are probably in the majority.....

but hey crazy people are creative ... van gogh cut off his own ear!!!

then again he was a artistic genius and im just a clumsy blonde with a penchant for writing, so, not much of a comparison there