Hunger

Disclaimer: 'Naruto' belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Warnings: yaoi, INCEST, hinted non-consensual, AU.
Pairings: At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

A/N: There was going to be a non-consensual scene in this chapter but I cut it off, thus leaving the act only hinted because
1) it wasn't relevant to the plot to describe the acts,
2) the scene made even me sick and
3) I don't want to scar my readers' minds more than I have to.
And I think this chapter works better this way. At least there's now room for your imagination to fill in the blanks.

Just to let you know, my thoughts are not tangled anymore like they were during the previous chapter. I hope this chapter is more... logical/better. BTW, my beta decided to read this chapter aloud while listening to Naruto music! It was weird but kinda cool, because he speaks English perfectly and has a dramatic voice. :)

Chapter 9: Discipline

Gaara was ringing Naruto's doorbell, standing in the windy and cold weather.

When no one came to open the door, Gaara pushed the doorbell button for the second time. Had the blond overslept again?

It had been a month since he had stayed overnight at Naruto's home and every single day after that, he had come to pick him up for school. Roughly said, the blond overslept about one or two mornings a week, making Gaara frustrated as he had to stand outside, waiting. He was about to ring the doorbell for the third time when he saw a glimpse of blond hair through the kitchen window. Soon after, Naruto opened the door and hastily stepped out before locking it.

"We're gonna be late!" the blond exclaimed.

"I know that!" Gaara snapped. He had waited for his friend for, what, five minutes already!

"We'd better run. Come on!" Naruto shouted, fastening his pace.

Not needing to be told twice, the redhead started to run, too. It didn't take long for them to reach the school gates. Luckily, there was still 5 minutes before the first class would begin. They wouldn't be late, after all.

"So, what took you so long?" Gaara asked. He was going to worm the answer from the blond if needed, that was for sure. He didn't like running and he liked it even less when it was in order to be on time.

"Er... I kinda... overslept," Naruto confessed innocently, fearing the redhead's wrath.

I knew it! Gaara yelled in his mind. "Well don't do it again! Next time I won't be waiting for you," he threatened half-seriously when they entered the school building.

"You wouldn't!"

"Just wait and see," Gaara replied, the corners of his mouth lifting upwards. It was hard to admit but the blond's good mood was rubbing on him. Even his heart felt lighter than usual. They were about to bid goodbyes and depart to their separate classes when an amused look appeared on Naruto's face.

"Gaara," Naruto said as he came to stand only a few inches away from the instantly tensing redhead. He smiled slightly as he touched the red hair locks, smoothing them at the top of Gaara's head. "Your hair was funnily up."

"Must've been the wind," Gaara said quietly. His hair had been alright when he had left home and he wondered if they'd been as Naruto said or if it'd been just another excuse for the blond to destroy the safe distance between them.

"Yeah, must've been the wind," Naruto said in an equally quiet voice.

To Gaara, the situation was getting more and more uncomfortable as Naruto didn't back away but only looked at him quietly, a mysterious smile on his face. Like so many times before, Gaara retreated and turned to leave without a word, escaping to his first class. He always ran away and Naruto always kept on coming close. The slight feeling of Naruto's fingers on his hair still lingered on his scalp and Gaara scratched the red locks, fading away the distracting feeling.

-----

Gaara stood near the school gates, waiting for his brother to pick him up. They had planned on going to the centre of Konoha to do some necessary shopping. After a minute or so Kankuro pulled over and the redhead got into the car. The brunette had had a morning shift so he had been able to leave early.

"How was your day?" Kankuro asked, glancing at his little brother as he drove.

"It was okay," came the short reply. "Yours?"

"The café was unexpectedly crowded today and there were only two of us staffers in there! What a hellish day to be at work. I'm glad I was able to leave early!" the brunette huffed.

Accustomary silence fell over them as Gaara found no need to reply. He looked out from the car window, deep in thought. He wished he could be in the cellar. Today, he was in no mood for spending time in a crowded mall.

"You need a new winter coat. It's getting really cold already, it might even snow a little," Kankuro reminded, pulling the car over to a parking lot. He didn't want Gaara to freeze in his current, thin coat. The brunette needed a new one, too but it could wait, probably until next winter, or the winter after that.

They entered the clothes shop they usually patronized. Gaara searched through the coat rack, looking for a black one. He didn't want to wear any other color. Fortunately, he found a gothic coat that fit him when he tried it on. He was about to tell his brother he'd found what he needed but the brunette came to him instead, carrying a black piece of clothing.

"How about this one? I think this would suit you," Kankuro said, holding a short coat which had fur on the border of the hood. The redhead looked at the piece of clothing with distaste.

"I'm a boy, I don't wear anything that has fur on it," Gaara snapped, clutching the coat he wanted to have.

"Oh come on, you would look good in this! Besides, this is cheaper than that one" Kankuro encouraged, draping the coat towards the redhead. He wanted to see Gaara in the short coat, for unlike the gothic coat, this one wouldn't hide the redhead's good-looking behind. Because of the tight, low-waist jeans Gaara favored, it would be a shame in Kankuro's opinion if the tempting behind would be covered by a coat. He almost drifted off into daydreams of how good Gaara would look in the clothes he liked to choose for him but he was brought back down to earth as the redhead spoke.

"No."

"Please..." Kankuro whispered, changing his ground. He wanted to see the redhead in the coat he had took liking into. That way Gaara would be more his.

By now, Gaara was totally annoyed at the pointless, ongoing debate. It was nobody's business but his what kind of clothes he chose to wear. He didn't know why some stupid fur suddenly attracted his brother but he wasn't going to succumb, not in this matter.

"Just keep your perversions to yourself. If you want it so badly then why don't you buy it for yourself?" Gaara retorted, until he realized what he had let slip.

The black eyes grew cold in an instant at the words. Fortunately, no one was near to hear them. Kankuro put the coat he favored aside and gripped Gaara's shoulder. The jade green eyes didn't give away any feeling but indifference. Kankuro hated the mask Gaara always had on his face, hiding his emotions. The only way to get Gaara show his deepest feelings on his face was, well, very illegal. He would gladly tear the mask away right now but couldn't, in a place like this.

"Watch your mouth. Do you want someone to hear us?" Kankuro said, yanking Gaara by the shoulder. Still no emotion. Getting impatient, the brunette jerked the redhead along when he started to walk.

"Now let's go to the cash desk and get out of here!" Kankuro said, ready to buy the gothic coat to Gaara even though he didn't like the said piece of clothing at all.

After a moment they were in a department store and things were going smoothly again, even though Kankuro was still irritated and uncharacteristically quiet. For Gaara it was refreshing, since he preferred silence to childish debate.

They had accidentally met some of Kankuro's friends and in a second, Gaara had noticed, Kankuro's behavior had turned from annoyed to friendly. The brunette had laughed and joked and even patted Gaara on the shoulder, smiling warmly at him. It had lasted only as long as those so called friends had been around, though, for the moment they had been out of sight, Kankuro had turned into serious again, the black eyes holding no trace of the earlier warmness anymore.

An uncomfortable silence had fallen upon them once again. Kankuro didn't like that he had lost in the clothes shop. Gaara had won back there, but only because he didn't want to continue the quarrel and get some unwanted attention. Still staying quiet, Kankuro strolled to the department which had supplies for pets. Gaara followed him and almost bumped into his brother when the brunette suddenly stopped.

The older of the brothers turned to look at the younger one, a vicious smirk on his face. He had picked something from the stand and now that Gaara noticed what it was, he didn't like it at all.

"How about this kind of dog collar? Would teach you some discipline..." Kankuro teased, waiting to see a trace of emotion on his little brother's face. He wanted to crack the mask, even just a little. That way he would win and make up the defeat he had suffered back at the clothes shop. No one was within earshot so it was safe to get back at the redhead.

The green eyes widened in horror. Kankuro saw uneasiness written all over Gaara's face. Good, that was an emotion. He wanted more of it, more emotion. More emotion meant more winning.

"Is this about that coat again?" Gaara sighed, a little unnerved. He wanted to get home before his brother got more twisted ideas. Thinking again, he wasn't so eager to leave after all—here in public Kankuro couldn't do anything to him but at home... Well, that was a different story.

"Forget the coat. If you're a good boy I might buy this one for you," the brunette said and smirked, flourishing the collar.

"You're sick," Gaara answered, well aware how stupid it was for him to angry his annoyed brother even more.

"Didn't I tell you to watch your mouth? One would think you intentionally seek trouble..." Kankuro growled. At then his glance hit a chain leash. He touched it, then looked back at the wary looking redhead. "This chain would go well with the collar, wouldn't it?" he then continued.

"You're stupid," Gaara spoke, glaring at his brother. He wasn't sure if Kankuro was actually serious or only joking.

Kankuro put the collar back on the shelf and advanced on the redhead. "Stupid? I'm not stupid enough to get to the receiving end of the leash, unlike you," Kankuro whispered, slightly touching the studded collar on Gaara's neck.

He was about say something more when a bunch of people came to the aisle. Seeing that their peace was gone, Kankuro turned away from Gaara in order to leave the department. The redhead sighed inwardly and followed, even though he really didn't want to.

-----

When they were finally home, Kankuro was more than relieved. Here, no one could eavesdrop. Here, he could be free. He tugged at Gaara and turned the redhead to face him before the said boy could sneak into the hideous cellar.

"You'll do the dinner tonight because you were so troublesome in the mall," Kankuro ordered, playing with the studded collar that was on Gaara's neck.

"What? I wasn't troublesome! Besides, I made dinner almost every day last week. It's your turn!" the redhead defended.

"Well, either you cook or I'm going to have to teach you some discipline with this collar of yours," Kankuro said calmy. "Which one do you choose?"

Gaara gulped. He had a bad feeling it wasn't just an empty threat. Freeing himself, he retreated to the kitchen. Rummaging through the cupboards, he tried to decide what to cook. After a moment, he chose to make rice and salmon.

The easily made dinner was ready in no time. The two brothers ate in silence, not looking at each other. After finishing his share of the food, Kankuro finally glanced at his little brother.

"How's school?" Kankuro asked, breaking the ice.

Gaara lifted his head to look at the brunette. Thinking a moment, he finally spoke, "It's okay, as always..."

Kankuro lifted his eyebrow, as if doubting.

"Have you gotten into fights anymore?" he then asked. His little brother was infamous when it came to fighting, thanks to the redhead's lack of hesitation and mercy. Kankuro knew that Gaara didn't pick a fight because of fun—it was always a matter of self-defence.

"No, I haven't," the boy in question answered quietly. He was in no mood for conversations. There could always be a danger that he let something cheeky slip, thus aggravating his brother even more. He didn't want to know if the brunette would carry out his earlier threat about teaching discipline. He knew that some day only a little mistake or a poor choice of words could angry Kankuro to the point where he would get back at him. Today could be that day.

"Well, that's good. Do you need any help with homework?" Kankuro asked, eager to help. He was quite sure that Gaara would skip his math homework if he wasn't there to encourage him.

"No," the redhead replied, already leaving the kitchen.

"Hey, don't go so quickly. Have you done your math homework?" Kankuro questioned him. He wouldn't let his little brother lazy around if there were tasks to do. Gaara would not end up without a place in college or university, if Kankuro had a say in it.

Annoyed that his plans to sneak into the cellar seemed to go awry, Gaara went to pick up his school bag from the hallway. He then reluctantly sat next to his brother, hoping everything would go smoothly for he didn't want to annoy Kankuro even more somehow, like being uninterested in dull and trivial things like math.

"Well okay, help me then," Gaara huffed. He was getting a headache already.

After having helped his little brother for an half an hour, the vein on Kankuro's temple started to pulse. He tried to calm himself and remember that Gaara was a sixteen-year-old and people of that age could be very annoying, uninterested and reluctant to do what was important. He reminded himself that it wasn't Gaara's fault and that likely he himself had been as irritating two years ago.

"I don't get it!" Gaara yelled in exasperation. He and Kankuro were equally annoyed by now.

"Well you have to try harder! This is important, everything they teach you at school is. You have to be smart and become educated. I bet you just think your life will sort out by its own, without an effort!" Kankuro yelled back.

"What if I don't want to learn everything? And yes, I believe life will sort out, in the end! Not everyone is like you. Not everyone wants to be on top of everything!" Gaara shouted, sitting up. He was shoving his books back into his bag, ready to leave. His headache was almost killing him by now.

"You can't go yet! You haven't even studied the extra stuff that's in the books!" Kankuro protested, capturing the redhead's wrist.

"I don't want to study the extra stuff! There's a reason why it's extra, you know? Normal people don't even glance at that section and they still manage well," Gaara yelled a bit louder, trying to jerk his hand free, in vain.

"Yeah but you're not a normal person anyway, so sit down and study!" Kankuro snapped. Gaara's shouting was hurting his ears so he didn't want to increase his own pain by yelling loud himself.

By now Gaara was annoyed beyond belief. Unable to take it anymore, he freed his hand with one swift movement and hurried to the cellar. He slammed the door shut, as if it was his last reply to his demanding brother.

He threw his bag to the corner with force, cursing the stupid books, education and society's demands. He put the headphones on and put on some music in attempt to calm himself. The cellar was chillier now because currently, it was the coldest period of winter. Gaara crawled under the blanket, thoughts spinning in his head like a tornado. For some reason, a thought of Naruto popped into his mind, soothing and calming.

He wondered what the blond was doing right now. Maybe he was alone in his little house with nothing to do. The redhead felt the urge to be with his friend. They had had good time together, like this morning. He really could pay the blond a visit in order to get rid of his own depressing mood. Getting past Kankuro would be tricky, though. If the brunette saw a glimpse of him, there would be a danger that the stupid rant of studying would start all over again. If the cellar had a window, he could certainly creep out of it without anyone noticing.

In the kitchen, Kankuro leaned his head on his hand, staring out of the window into the darkening night. He was worried about Gaara. He was certain that without him, the boy would surely end up in the street or worse. He felt that all he did for Gaara was still not enough. Just why couldn't the teenager study more harder, like he had done at school?

Why couldn't his little brother obey him and do what he was told? He knew that rebelling was a normal part of teens but it still didn't make it any easier to have these fights with Gaara. Sometimes it felt like the burden on his shoulders was too much and he constantly kept on worrying if he was good enough a person to take care of his precious little brother. Well, on some parts he knew that he certainly wasn't but on other parts, he thought he succeeded pretty well.

He had been only 16 when he had been left alone with Gaara and due to that, he had had to grow up fast. Back then, Gaara had been even more rebellious and harder to get along with. On some of the darkest moments, he had wondered why it had to be him who had been left to bring up a teenager when he himself had been one, too, equally in need of a safe adult to lean onto.

Kankuro sighed and rubbed his temples. It sure wasn't easy to take care of everything he had to. He worked long shifts at the café to get all their bills paid. He answered to the phonecalls from the principal telling Gaara had skipped school or gotten into a fight. He watched that Gaara didn't get into wrong company and that no one tried to hurt him. Then there was the fact that he tried his best to encourage Gaara in his studies and pass the extensive knowledge he himself had, to the redhead. And in the middle of all this, he tried to keep himself collected and calm like an adult should do, suppressing his increasing worries about his mental condition and hoping he wouldn't accidentally hurt Gaara during his episodes.

Right then the cellar door opened. Kankuro sat up and strolled to the hallway only to see Gaara was leaving. He stepped in front of his little brother and gently cupped the pale face, forcing the younger male to look at him in the eyes. Gaara's cheeks were cold and his fingers tingled because of it.

"You're freezing. Why don't you spend time in your room?" Kankuro asked, staring into the jade green eyes. Tenderly, he rubbed the pale cheeks with his fingers.

"I'm not cold. Besides I like it in the cellar," Gaara said as he attempted to back off. The older brother didn't let him go but slowly pushed him to the wall. Now there was no chance to back off.

"Will you sleep next to me tonight? I don't want you to freeze in that hideous place," Kankuro asked, admiring the beautiful, pale face. Gaara had so many chances for his future—why couldn't the boy see it? It would be so much easier if Gaara just did what he told him to do, because he knew what was best for his little brother.

"If you want me to sleep here I can go to my own room," Gaara replied, staring into the onyx eyes without blinking.

"I don't think so," Kankuro breathed calmy as his other hand lowered to Gaara's neck and fingered the studded collar there. He didn't avert his eyes for a second. Instead, he let his gaze bore into the green eyes, looking for submission. When he found none, he yanked the collar a little, reminding the redhead what he had said earlier when they had arrived home.

There was a flicker of emotion in the jade eyes. That was enough to satisfy Kankuro, who let go of the collar and backed off. Gaara was quick to put on his shoes and coat and was already half-way out of the door, when a calm voice came from behind him.

"And where are you going with such a hurry?" Kankuro asked even though he knew already.

"To Naruto's place," the younger of the brothers replied shortly.

"Fine. Come back before midnight," was the last sentence Gaara heard before he closed the door.

-----

Naruto eyed the menu, pondering what he should order. He and Gaara had decided to go to the local, small diner that was quite popular among teenagers.

"Um... I'll take ramen," Naruto said to the staffer waiting for their orders.

"Again? You eat nothing else at home and now you decide to have that dish at here, too?" Gaara pointed out, thinking how unhealthy it was to eat like that.

"Well what should I eat then, french fries?" Naruto defended, surprised that the redhead had commented on his choice of food.

"No, they're even worse," Gaara said to him before turning to look at the girl behind the cash desk. "We'll have two salads, no dressing," he ordered and put his share of the money to the desk.

"What? Let's get at least some kind of dressing, otherwise it will be too dry to eat," Naruto said hurriedly, noticing that the redhead had already turned and was making his way to an empty table. He quickly paid for his meal and hurried after his friend.

"Fresh salad ingredients are not dry. Besides, they will taste better without any industrial stuff on top of them," Gaara replied, sitting down onto a chair.

"You better be right," Naruto said smiling as he sat across his friend, happy that he had finally gotten the redhead to a public place like this. It almost felt like they were on a date! When the conversation died out thanks to Gaara's lack of reply, Naruto started to talk about weather at first, soon moving on to other topics like school and new video games he couldn't afford yet.

It always amused Gaara how enthusiastically Naruto was able to talk about things, no matter what the topic was. It was a mystery to him how the blond was able to generate so much happiness around him. A small amount of that pleasant energy was rubbing off on him, too. Whenever he looked into the blue orbs he could see a glint of optimism there and every time, he wished he could see the world like Naruto did.

They got their salads and it was of course Naruto who was the first to start wolfing down his meal. To Gaara, it was another enigma how the blond was able to eat so fast. Did he he even chew the food, or did he just swallow it hungrily?

"Oh man, this is good! Now salad is my favorite food number two!" Naruto said between the mouthfulls.

"I can see," Gaara replied, glad that his choice of food had been right. He wasn't so hungry, given that he had eaten lunch at school and then dinner at home. He was half-way on his salad when Naruto had already eaten his own share.

"Ah, I guess everything good ends too soon," Naruto spoke, an empty plate in front of him.

"Are you still hungry?" Gaara asked, slowly eating the fresh salad ingredients.

"No, I didn't mean that," Naruto replied hurriedly.

"Go on, I know you want to. I'm not hungry anymore and you were practically eating my salad with your eyes a moment ago," Gaara pointed out, pushing the plate to the middle of the table.

The salad hadn't been the only thing Naruto had been eating with his eyes, for in his opinion, the redhead across from him was quite a feast for the eye, too. "Thanks," Naruto said, already eating the offered meal. Now that they were eating from the same plate it was starting to feel more and more like a date to Naruto and inwardly, he almost exploded from happiness and excitement.

They ate in silence, Naruto much faster than Gaara, and when the plate was finally empty, both of the boys were full. Gaara glanced at his cell phone to see what time it was, noticing it was already 9 p.m. He didn't want to go home so early but it was no use staying here, either, seeing that the place was closing.

For a while, they were strolling on the streets of Konoha, looking as the stores were being closed for the night. It was cold and Gaara wondered why he hadn't put on the new coat for tonight. The sky was pitch-black with no stars, reminding Gaara a bit of Kankuro's black eyes. A gust of wind blew through his thin clothes, freezing him to the bone and he shuddered.

"Wanna come to my place?" Naruto asked, leading the way to the direction of his house.

"I guess I could," Gaara replied casually, not wanting to appear too eager.

It was dark at Naruto's home, too but the lack of light gave a soft and safe impression. The silence was broken when Naruto sneezed loudly and then shivered, only to sneeze once again.

"Bless you," Gaara said in a monotonous voice. The thin clothes Naruto was wearing were too cold for the current weather, no matter how much the blond defended his choice to use his beloved, orange jacket. "I think you caught a cold," Gaara pointed out.

"Yeah... I probably did but what can you do?" Naruto replied in a carefree voice despite the fact that he had just fallen ill.

"You could put on some winter clothes," Gaara suggested. "No matter how much you claim to love that orange piece of clothing, it's not worth freezing yourself," he then added.

"Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, I don't like my winter coat, it's blue and not orange," Naruto said.

"Then you leave me no option but to take the jacket away," Gaara said, taking the said piece of clothing from the rack Naruto had just put it in, and stuffing it in his bag. "You'll get it back when it's spring," he added, his face holding no emotion even though his actions revealed his care for the blond.

"Hey, you can't just take away my property! I love that jacket, give it back," Naruto exclaimed. He didn't want to be forced to wear the blue winter coat, no matter how warm and cozy it was. When Gaara made no gestures of returning his property, Naruto let out a sigh, defeated, "You're not gonna give it back, are you?"

"I am, when it's spring," Gaara replied. He wasn't too good at showing his feelings by words or gestures, so he often had to resort to blunt actions.

Naruto sneezed violently again, almost doubling over. It was then that he was ushered to sit down onto the couch by Gaara and soon, an old blanket that was always lying on the other end of the couch, was wrapped over him.

"Stay there, I'll lit the fireplace," Gaara said. So many times before he had seen Naruto do the task so he knew by heart how the firewood should be arranged and then set on fire.

"You don't have to fuss over me," Naruto said, looking as the redhead put the logs of wood into the fireplace. He was already feeling better and the warm blanket made him even more relaxed but still, it was weird to have someone take care of him like that.

"I know but I want to," Gaara replied, lighting the fireplace and closing the hatches. The more he had things to do, the less he had time to think what awaited him at home.

"I'll go make us some tea," he announced, already on his way to the kithcen. He immersed himself in the preparation of tea, glad that he had something else to do than just sit still and think. He wasn't one to fuss over people but when it came to those he cared about, it felt somewhat easy to take care of them like this. He glanced at the clock and saw it was already about 10 p.m. How fast time had gone. It was a pity.

"Thanks, you wouldn't have to," Naruto said, gladly accepting the hot drink. His throat had started to feel sore and hopefully, the warm tea would make it go away.

Gaara didn't say a word but sat down and hugged his knees, making sure he was on the other end of the couch than Naruto. Being too close to the blond made him uncomfortable. Before, it had felt relaxing but now, he tensed around his friend. When they kept their distance like this, he could almost imagine that things were like they used to be in the beginning.

Only the occassional crackling of the burning firewood was breaking the heavy silence that hung in the air. From the corner of his eye, Naruto glanced at his pensive friend who only sat still, the hot drink of his forgotten on the coffee table, untouched. For the last month Gaara had been weirdly distant, flinching away from him and not meeting his eyes so often anymore.

"Aren't you going to drink your tea?" Naruto asked, looking at the silent redhead.

Upon hearing the words, Gaara grabbed the tea and emptied the mug with one, long gulp. He then put the cup back to the table and seemed to fall into his own thoughts once again. For the past three or four weeks, things had been somewhat like this between them. It worried Naruto, for Gaara had been more distant and quiet than usual. He wasn't sure of the reason and when he had asked, Gaara had only snapped at him or then mumbled something inaudible.

"It's still chilly in here. I bet you're cold. Why don't you come under the blanket, too?" Naruto asked friendly as he noticed how his friend shivered.

"No," Gaara replied, still not looking at the blond. The wind howled outside and Gaara almost shuddered from the memory of its freezing air. He tried his best to ignore Naruto, not to think about him or the feeling he got when he was near him. His attempts failed miserably, though, when the said blond got off from the couch and sat down near him, that mysterious smile on his face again.

"Don't be so quiet and boring, come under the blanket," Naruto suggested, draping the other end of the blanket towards Gaara.

"Stop it. You're going to infect me with your flu," Gaara said, trying to shoo the eager blond away.

"Come on, you're shivering. You probably got sick too, given that you too run around in thin clothes like that," Naruto said and smiled.

"It's none of your concern what I wear. I'm not falling ill," Gaara replied. He just didn't want Naruto to get any closer.

Naruto snorted, amused by the way his friend was. "Whatever," he said and moved to sit side by side with Gaara, not caring about the death glare he received because of his actions. He put the blanket over Gaara's shoulders and entwined them into the warmness, holding the two corners in front of them with his hands.

Gaara let out an annoyed groan as he was forced to the closeness he had tried to avoid. Naruto's grin only got wider and his eyes turned into thin slits as he looked at his friend. "Aww, come on, I know you like this," Naruto said, gently poking Gaara with his elbow.

"Hmph," Gaara growled, scared how close to the truth Naruto's words actually were.

Naruto's skin was warm, almost hot against him. The contact was burning him, reminding how cold he had felt just a moment ago. He had to get away from Naruto, he would surely fall ill too if the blond stayed this close any longer. Naruto couldn't get accustomed to this kind of contact and neither could he. "Let me go."

At the grumpy words, Naruto turned his gaze to Gaara and looked at him with his blue eyes full of surprisement. Gaara could see the light of the flames dancing in the dark blue depths and the blond locks that fell over Naruto's eyebrows, were shining like gold.

"Please... Just a little longer, it gets so cold and dark when I'm alone," Naruto whispered.

Gaara swallowed, not finding his voice to reply. On the tanned face, he could see traces of how the loneliness had affected Naruto, for the blond held an expression of slight sadness. When his friend's head came to rest against his shoulder, the blond locks tickling his cheek a little, he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. As his gaze locked onto the flames once again, he wished he could stay the night with Naruto.

The short moment Naruto had requested became minutes and soon, half an hour had gone without them even noticing it.

"Last night I had the strangest dream," Naruto suddenly began, his head still resting against Gaara's shoulder. It hadn't been the kind of wild and wet one he usually had a pleasure to have. "You were in that dream."

Gaara let out a sound that indicated Naruto to continue. "I was in a forest and it was dark, I could barely see my surroundings. I knew that you were in there somewhere and I was looking for you. I also knew that your brother was there too, for some odd reason, and I knew he was after me," Naruto spoke, staring into the vivid flames.

"I was walking down a footpath which branched off in the end. I instinctively chose the left path of the two and started to follow it, knowing that your brother was coming closer to me, fast. It felt like I moved in slow motion because I couldn't run as fast as I would've liked to. I kept on running, no matter how slow it was. Then I saw you and you were standing on a crossroads, looking at me. It was getting darker and I ran faster, knowing that your brother was right behind me. I called out for you and draped my hand towards you and just when I was about to touch you, your brother caught me and the dream ended," Naruto said.

After he had woken up with a jolt, he had been really scared and anxious. He had gotten up and checked that the front door was locked and that all the windows were closed. Until that point, he hadn't realized how much Gaara's brother's advances had influenced him. He wasn't afraid of Kankuro but he didn't want to be alone with him, either.

"What a weird dream," Gaara commented. It worried him how close to the reality the dream could actually be and he hoped that nothing like that ever happened. "Do you know what would've happened if you'd reached me?"

"Not excatly. I just knew that if I'd get to you, I or we would be safe," Naruto replied.

"Hmm. Don't dream things like that anymore," Gaara said, knowing how impossible it was to control things like that.

"I try not to," Naruto said and lifted his head to look at Gaara.

Their faces were quite close to each other and Gaara could almost feel the other's breath on his skin. It was nothing new, for the he had been forced to become accustomed to this range. After Gaara had decided to take distance from Naruto in order to keep away the uncomfortableness that came near the blond, Naruto had stubbornly kept on closing the distance between them and coming closer. It happened at school, at here, everywhere they were together. Usually Gaara escaped from those situations but now he couldn't, for he was trapped between Naruto and the armrest of the couch. So, instead of fleeing, he only stared patiently back at Naruto.

"Good," Gaara replied. He wanted Naruto to be safe even in his dreams.

"What do you dream about?" Naruto asked, stubbornly staying close like this even though he knew Gaara didn't appreciate the lack of distance.

"About nothing," Gaara replied. He didn't have pleasant dreams and he didn't want to talk about them. It was getting much too warm again with Naruto so close, and so he turned his gaze to the flames once again, escaping the intense stare of the blue eyes.

"Surely you see dreams, too," Naruto said, studying the redhead's side profile. A grin spread to his face and he asked, "Do you dream about me?"

"No, don't be stupid," Gaara snapped, glaring at the blond from the corner of his eye.

"I was just kidding, no need to take everything so seriously," Naruto replied, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Hn," was all Gaara said. His gaze wandered on the living room walls, accidentally hitting on the clock. His black-rimmed eyes widened as he saw how late it was already—it was a quarter until midnight!

"I have to go," Gaara said hurriedly, breaking free from the blanket's embrace and getting up from the couch. A tanned hand took a hold of the pale wrist and when Gaara turned to look at Naruto, the deep blue eyes held a pleading look.

"Would you like to stay overnight?"

As much as Gaara wanted to say yes, he couldn't. His brother had ordered him to come home before midnight and he didn't want to anger him by asking for the permission to stay here. Besides, Kankuro had made it clear that he didn't like Gaara staying the night at Naruto's place at schooldays.

"I can't."

The tanned hand slowly let go of the pale wrist and Gaara's arm fell limply to his side, the feeling of Naruto's touch still lingering on his skin.

"It's okay," Naruto said and smiled like always, hiding his discomfort at not being able to spend more time with the person that mattered him the most in the world. By now, Gaara had become his most precious person. He believed he had felt this way for a long time already but it was only recently that he had actually realized the fact.

Gaara was standing on the hallway, facing Naruto and ready to leave. The blond stepped closer to him, yet again destroying the safe distance between them. Gaara looked at him, thinking why he let Naruto come so close. Normal people weren't like this, not this close but were they normal, anyway?

"I guess I have to go now," Gaara said quietly, wondering how weird it felt to talk with Naruto's face not further than few inches away from his own.

"Yeah, I guess so," Naruto replied, forcing a weak smile to his face. In the dim light the red hair looked very dark, matching the black rings around the eyes, contrasting the pale skin. He was so close to that face which was near to perfection and he wondered what it would feel like to close the rest of the distance between them...

At then, Gaara turned away and opened the door. He left Naruto standing alone in the darkness of the house as he headed home, to the different kind of darkness. It would've been nice to stay but then again, it was safer not to. As the silhouette of his house came into view, a gust of wind blew straight through his clothes, freezing him. He looked at the black sky, still not seeing stars or even moon in there. He shuddered as he entered his home yard, not looking forward to returning home.

-----

Gaara opened the front door and stepped quietly inside. The hallway was darkened and there was no light coming from the other rooms, either. It could be possible that Kankuro was already sleeping and if so, he was certainly not going to wake him up. In the darkness he had succeeded in getting off his coat and shoes without stumbling and was now heading to the safety of the cellar.

"Where do you think you're going?" came a whisper behind his back.

Startled, Gaara almost jumped. He thought he could hear his own heartbeat in the silence of the house. He tried his best to keep his breathing even—he was not going to show Kankuro his uneasiness. Slowly, he turned around to see that the dark figure towering over him was indeed his brother.

"Kankuro, don't scare people like that," Gaara said in as calm a voice as he could manage.

"Scare? Don't tell me you're scared... Gaara," Kankuro breathed, standing a few inches away from the redhead.

"I'm not," Gaara lied quickly, backing away slowly in an attempt to open the cellar door and vanish in there.

"Stubborn, aren't you? I thought you wouldn't go into that hideous place tonight," Kankuro spoke in an even voice as he seized the redhead's wrist.

"I... I just wanted to get my nightclothes," Gaara tried as he was desperately jerking his hand to get it free, without success.

"I don't think you need them," Kankuro whispered and started to drag him towards his room.

"Let go of my hand," Gaara said, not letting his voice falter. The door to Kankuro's darkened room slammed shut behind him, blocking his last escape route.

Soon they were laying on the bed, only their boxers on. Gaara had turned his back to Kankuro, waiting. All his life, he suddenly realized, he had been waiting: first that their father would disappear from their lives, then that he'd be able to leave this haunting house, then that the abuse would end. At moments like this, he waited for Kankuro to begin and when he would, he waited for it to end.

"Gaara..." Kankuro whispered affectionately, sliding his hand along the redhead's side. "I want you so much..."

Gaara shivered as a warm hand caressed his shoulder, like promising that nothing bad would happen tonight. "Kankuro... We shouldn't do this," he spoke.

"Please Gaara... I want to make you feel good," Kankuro spoke softly as he fingered the elastic on Gaara's boxers. "We don't have to go all the way, you know, there are other things we can do," he continued, teasingly pulling the boxers lower. "I think I could let you even suck me. You're so good at it anyway," Kankuro whispered seductively to Gaara's ear.

"No, I don't want it," Gaara protested, pulling his tight boxers upwards. He didn't want to succumb this time but only sleep.

"But I'd make you come, too," Kankuro assured, hungrily trailing his hand along the redhead's chest, slowly going lower and lower...

"No, that's not what I meant. I just want to sleep, not to do anything... else," Gaara defended, holding his brother's hand so that it couldn't reach any lower.

"You're an insomniac, have you forgotten? I doubt you can go to sleep just like that but after some activities you'd surely sleep like a log..." Kankuro whispered, nibbling Gaara's earlobe.

"I said no."

With an angry huff, Kankuro freed Gaara from his embrace and turned his back to him. Due to the movement, the blanket hardly covered the redhead anymore. Gaara shivered at the sudden chill, missing the warmness. He had hurt Kankuro's feelings and he knew his brother could sulk through the night if he didn't submit to his desires. On the other hand, this was a chance to escape and so Gaara sat up, his destination the cellar. When he was about to get off from the bed, a hand gripped his wrist forcefully.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kankuro asked, sitting up.

"To... to the cellar," Gaara replied, not letting his voice falter. He didn't like the angry Kankuro any better than the aroused Kankuro, and the least he liked the combination of these two.

Quicker than Gaara could even realize, he was pulled stomach first to the bed and soon after, he was pinned under the warm body of Kankuro. His boxers were yanked off and soon, his brother was naked, too.

"Why do you have to disobey me all the time? I try to be good to you but you constantly shove me away! I asked you nicely to stay here, I even tried to open up to you and show you my feelings, yet you only pushed me away rudely," Kankuro said in a sad voice which seethed hidden irritation. He had offered Gaara an easy way out at first but no, he had to refuse. Why did Gaara always have to be so reluctant? It made this all look like he was the bad guy. But he wasn't, he just wanted to love his little brother.

-----

In the darkness the only audible sounds were their even breaths. Gaara kept his eyes cast downwards, for he didn't want to face the studying look Kankuro was giving him. The impassive mask was now back on his face again, when a few moments ago it had been ripped away and he had been given no chance but to show his emotions, especially those he wanted to hide.

"Don't be so quiet, everything's alright now," Kankuro spoke softly, holding his little brother close in a protective manner. He didn't like the oppressing silence between them but at least Gaara was now back in line, silent and obedient.

"You did it again," Gaara snapped. He didn't feel like talking. Actually, he didn't feel like sleeping, either, not after this. What he wanted was a warm shower to wash away the evidence. His body hurt and he knew he would stay home tomorrow, instead of going to school.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Kankuro whispered gently. He was genuinely sorry but he couldn't help what happened when he got impatient. At least there had been no blood, so the hurt wouldn't last long. In his mind flashed a memory of their first time together along with the bathroom floor covered in blood and he shuddered, pushing the awful memory out of his mind. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, okay?" Kankuro promised, pressing a soft kiss onto Gaara's cheek.

Gaara only huffed for an answer. He didn't care how his brother would try to make everything up again, it still wouldn't fade away the hurt he felt.

"Gaara... You're the most precious person to me. I love you more than anything. When you reject me I feel really terrible. If you just accepted me it would be so much easier," Kankuro said, sliding his hand along his little brother's side and caressing the smooth skin.

"No, it would be so much easier if we didn't do it at all. I... I love you too but this feels so wrong," Gaara replied. They had had these kinds of conversations before and those situations usually ended with Kankuro hurting his feelings and not talking to Gaara for days.

"Love isn't wrong, haven't I told you that?" Kankuro replied, careful at avoiding the point that Gaara had brought up.

"I don't think love is wrong but having... being 'that way' with your brother is," Gaara said quietly, lowering his gaze. He already felt sorry for saying his opinion out loud. It sounded crazy but after all these conversations with Kankuro, he always felt like he should be apologizing if he disagreed with his brother.

Kankuro looked at Gaara for a moment, thinking how he should respond. Before he had started to take advantage of Gaara, he hadn't needed to manipulate the redhead to stay with him like he needed now. The fear that Gaara would actually tell someone was ever present and because of that, he paid extra attention to make Gaara think that he, too, was guilty.

"I... I think I see it now. You're going to abandon me, throw me away when you don't need me anymore, aren't you? I knew it, you're like everyone else," Kankuro said in a wavering voice, his grip on Gaara's upper arm tightening.

"What? I'm not going to abandon you, Kankuro. We're brothers, I'll always be there for you. I just don't like that you... that you're using me," Gaara said, looking at his brother's sad face. He didn't want Kankuro to get too upset because the emotional unbalance could trigger an episode.

"Using? But Gaara... you're using me, too," Kankuro whispered.

A few seconds passed in silence before Gaara's voice exploded in the room, "What?"

"Don't you see it? You're taking advantage of my kindness this whole time. I work like a slave to provide for us. I take care of the bills and other paper stuff. Again, it's me who goes to shopping and cooks, most often. I use the little money I have to buy you new clothes so that you wouldn't freeze or look bad, while neglecting my own needs in that part. And what do you do?" Kankuro asked and continued right away.

"As soon as you come home from school you go to see Naruto, leaving me alone to think how I've done my everything for you without getting anything in response. Added to all of this, you're cold to me, you shout at me and shove me away, not caring if I'd just bought you clothes or helped you with your homework. You always complain! I try my best yet it's never enough for you," Kankuro said accusingly, irritation clear in his voice.

"But..." Gaara started, trying to smother the guilt that rapidly creeped into his mind. "I know what you've done for my well-being but you still can't blame me for using you," Gaara defended himself. He felt a sting in his heart for yelling at his brother earlier that day but the fights they had weren't only his fault. Even though he didn't do much at home but occasionally cooked and cleaned, it didn't mean he was taking advantage of Kankuro, did it?

"I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just pointing out the facts. You're not so innocent as you think you are," Kankuro spoke in a serious voice.

"But it's you who's taking advantage of me, not the other way around," Gaara exclaimed. He didn't want to believe what he had just been told. It wasn't true, was it? What if it really turned out to be like that all along, that it was he, Gaara, who had used his kind big brother without even noticing it himself? Did things like that happen?

"Believe what you want, Gaara but you've used me as much as I've used you. You are equally guilty. You are equally twisted because you enjoy it. No one will understand you, they will only accuse you, label you, call you a monster. Even Naruto would call you a freak and leave," Kankuro stated sternly, his black eyes boring into the jade ones.

"No..." Gaara denied. He didn't intentionally like it! What they did was wrong, he knew it was wrong. He wasn't guilty, was he? Would everyone—especially Naruto—really label him like that? "No, it was you who—" Gaara began, stubbornly defending his conception of truth but was cut off.

"Saying that you've been abused would be a serious accusation and you could get in big trouble because of it. And besides, you have no evidence about me 'using' you, as you so rudely put it. No one would believe you because there's nothing to even tell about," Kankuro said, knowing full well that Gaara's words would be taken seriously, if anyone were there to actually listen.

"Surely someone would believe," Gaara said, his voice revealing the doubt for the words he had just spoken. What if no one believed? What if everyone said he was wrong, mistaken, guilty? Was he? No, he wasn't! But Kankuro was so convincing...

"No, they wouldn't. You have no evidence. I, however, can prove that I've been working a lot, almost to the point of exhaustion. I can prove that I have been abused as a child, it came out as Yashamaru died. Because of these things, I have continually worsening mental problems so if there's a victim, it's me," Kankuro said and paused, only to continue right away.

"Think about how hard I've had it and then compare it to your situation. You only have to occasionally be with me but even then, I always make you feel good and loved and you can't deny that you enjoy it. You should see your face when you come, it proves everything! You really shouldn't complain about little things, at least you're mentally healthy and your childhood wasn't as horrible as it could've been, again thanks to me!" Kankuro spoke heatedly, not tearing his piercing stare away from Gaara even for a second.

"But—"

"So to any outsider, it would look like I'm the overly kind big brother, doing my everything and even more for your well-being, while you would appear to be the emotionally cold little brother who only causes expenses and leaves me continually alone, no matter how much good your company would do to my mental health. So you surely understand that it's wise to keep your mouth shut because I don't want you to get in trouble. I want to protect you," Kankuro explained.

"Kankuro..."

"And just to make it clear, I am not liable to provide maintenance for you, I am not your parent. If I'd wanted, I could've dumped you on the street after Temari left but because I'm a kind and humane person, I didn't do so. So above all, you should be grateful to me and stop complaining. How dare you be so ungrateful and selfish after everything I've done and been through for your well-being!? I give you so much and ask for so little. I've never complained about my history and neither should you. I didn't bring you up to be a complainer!" Kankuro added angrily, piercing his little brother with a serious stare.

By now, Gaara was speechless. He simply didn't know what to answer, for he felt like anything he'd say could be turned upside down, confusing him even more. His mouth was hanging open as he stared at his brother in total confusion. When he couldn't think of anything to say, he closed his mouth and lowered his eyes. Even breathing was more difficult than usual as his mind tried to process the contradicting information. He had only tried to carefully point out that what they were doing was wrong but now, he felt selfish and ungrateful, guilty, for speaking out.

"But you don't have to worry about it, Gaara. As long as you let me take care of you, you have nothing to be afraid of," Kankuro assured gently. He caressed Gaara's cheek and then kissed him on the forehead. He would always protect Gaara but at times like these, he had to keep him on his toes to gain more control.

"Now let's go to the shower, everything will feel better after that. I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa before we go to sleep, okay?" Kankuro said, smiling warmly to his little brother.

Warm milk always helped Gaara to go to sleep but now, it served yet another purpose: after all the difficult speaking he had to make sure that Gaara still still a positive image of him in his mind. Kankuro sighed inwardly. He was exhausted from all the talking and arguing. It had taken so much energy to bend the truth to the point that it had started to sound utterly wrong even to himself. Hopefully though, Gaara would believe him and stay quiet.

-----

After the shower and the hot cocoa, Gaara had sneaked into the cellar and was now lying on his back, staring into the darkness. Kankuro hadn't liked that, telling him how he was once again abandoning him and being ungrateful after he'd just been served hot cocoa and all. Feeling even guiltier than before, Gaara had promised to spend more time with him later and then, the hurt expression had vanished from Kankuro's face.

Now it was already well past 2 p.m. and he felt sleepy. The warm drink had done its job and was relaxing him, making his confusion a little more bearable. He wasn't sure what he should think. At least he wasn't going to tell anyone.

He felt bad and confused yet he couldn't relieve his burden and tell anyone, for the fear of no one taking him seriously was too strong. What if he was told that it was nothing at all, just life? Besides, he didn't want either of them, Kankuro especially, to get in trouble. What if this really was only a little thing compared to what his brother and some other, unknown people in this world, had been through? There were so many horrors out there, much worse than this. Maybe he could bear all this for a little longer, waiting until it would end. He could wait, because as Kankuro had said, he always enjoyed in the end. At least he didn't bleed even though it sometimes hurt. At least he was loved, a thing he had hungered for all his life.

He turned to lie on his side and clutched the orange jacket. Naruto's scent still lingered on the fabric, soothing and comforting him. The pain and worry kept him awake yet the orange jacket provided a delusion of safety.

Briefly, before the sleep took control of him, he wondered what would've happened if Naruto had caught him in that dream. Would they be saved? He snorted sleepily. How stupid it was to ponder about dreams. Still, after his breathing finally deepened and he fell asleep, he dreamed about being in a night-time city and looking for Naruto. The many streets and crowds of people kept on confusing him, guiding him into wrong directions. When he finally found him, everything else suddenly disappeared and they stood there, once again so very close to each other. Naruto was whispering something to him but he couldn't hear what, so he leaned closer until Naruto was almost speaking against his lips. He still couldn't register the words and Naruto only smiled because of that, closing his blue eyes and leaning closer...

Before the dream could proceed, the alarm clock went off and Gaara woke up. He turned the alarm off and fell back down onto the bed, fragments of the dream coming into his mind. He wasn't a person to think about dreams and this particular dream, he certainly didn't want to interpret. Naruto and his silly talk about dreaming had influenced him, it had to be that. Stupid dreams...

-----

A few hours later, a grumply Gaara was left alone as Kankuro headed for work. He welcomed the solitude but sadly, there wasn't much he could do because of the pain, a constant reminder of last night.

After hours of listening to music and thinking, his stomach rumbled. His appetite was gone but since he didn't want to have a gastric ulcer, he thought it would be better to eat and so he headed into the kitchen. Suddenly he remembered his promise to pick up Naruto to school this morning. What had Naruto thought when he hadn't come to his door at all? Maybe the blond had overslept again, this time thinking Gaara had really left him behind as he had playfully threatened.

His train of thought was interrupted, however, when the doorbell suddenly rang...

To be continued...

A/N: From what I've heard, seeing roads and crossroads in dreams means that some things will change in your life.

I know that most people now dislike Kankuro even more, I'm sorry that he had to be like that in this chapter. He's immature and his doings are very questionnable, and I'm afraid this will not be the end of it.

It's really frustrating when manipulative people succeed in turning the discussion upside down. I hope you won't meet that kind of people—some of them do it purposely, others don't even notice they're doing it.

I drew a picture about this chapter! It's about Gaara and Kankuro this time... See my profile for the link.

The next chapter will be more interesting in my opinion but what happened in this chapter, was important.