The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Sasuke/Harem

Heh, hope you all enjoyed the triple Update! And the little Lime that's near the end!
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Uchiha Sasuke was a man of many principals. Not many knew that about himself. Heck, he even carried a little book titled 'Principals and You', written by himself. Needless to say, it would be a best-seller if he ever released it to the public (that is, if his fangirls had anything to say about it).

Principal Number one. Tomatos would be right next to getting his revenge as the most IMPORTANT thing in the world.

Principal Number two. Always sleep with the doors and windows LOCKED, and one eye open. Because you never knew when the fangirls would get desperate.

Principal Number three. All fangirls were NUTS. Espically ones by the name of Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino.

And finally Principal Number four. Naruto was a dobe, and would always be weaker than him, or anyone close to his level.

Those were the four principals that Sasuke built his foundation on.

But with what he had just heard, the fourth one was in danger. SERIOUS danger.

"Let me get this straight," Sasuke said to Kakashi while sitting in his hospital bed. "You're telling me that Naruto, the DOBE, managed to defeat KIBA, of all people? And he managed to do it without getting a scratch on him?"

"Yes, that's just what I told you, Sasuke," Kakashi replied.

Sasuke looked away from Kakashi for a second.

How? HOW? How could the DOBE of all people beat someone who was almost as skilled as himself? And how could he do it WITHOUT getting hurt?

"...How did Naruto win?" Sasuke asked finally.

"Sorry, Sasuke, but I can't tell you," Kakashi replied.

"...And why not?" Sasuke asked with a bit of a growl.

"Because I promised Naruto that you wouldn't find out about his new style until the two of you faced off at last," Kakashi replied. "He wants to keep it a surprise. After all, he began to learn it mainly for the purpose of defeating you once and for all."

While Sasuke was a tiny bit pleased that Naruto had learned a brand new style just for the sake of beating him, he didn't show it. Instead, he scoffed. "Hn. Fine. If that dobe wants to keep his precious style a secret, then it's no skin off my nose. When the time comes, I'll make sure he knows his place once and for all."

"Well, you might get a chance sooner than you thought. Because the very first match in the finals is You Vs. Naruto," Kakashi replied.

"...Is that so?" Sasuke said, a little smirk on his face. "I can't wait to show that dobe who's the superior one..."

"...We'll see, Sasuke. We'll see," Kakashi said, getting up from his chair. "Anyway, are you feeling well enough to learn a new move?"

"I'm ALWAYS feeling good enough to learn a new move, Kakashi," the Uchiha said in an arrogant tone.

"Very well. But understand this. I'm only going to teach you the new move, and then you and Naruto are on your own for training," Kakashi said.

"Whatever. Just teach me the move already," Sasuke said, getting out of the bed.

Kakashi sighed as the two left the room. 'Sasuke really needs to lighten up. And I think that Naruto is the one who can help him do just that,' he thought. 'Even though I'm teaching him the Chidori, I hope that you can beat him Naruto...for his own good.'

COMEDY COMBAT!

"...So let me see if I understand this...you are saying that I was...rude...?" Lee inquired.

"Yes," Tenten nodded.

"And...abraisive?" Lee inquired.

"Yes," Gai nodded.

"And...a foul-mouthed, rednecked, unconsiderate son of a bitch...?" Lee inquired.

"Well...I wouldn't put it that way, my youthful pupil..." Gai said, giving Tenten a look that she ignored. "But...yes."

Lee started to gather tears in his eyes.

MANLY TEARS.

"Oh, Gai-sensei! Tenten-san! Please forgive me!" Lee sobbed, hugging both around the necks. "I...I don't know what came over me, or how it did, but I promise you...It will NEVER happen again!"

Gai returned the hug with gusto, while Tenten began to sweatdrop at Lee actions.

"It's okay, my youthful student! I knew that you weren't yourself! You have caused no harm to anyone (except for Gaara, but he was the enemy. Plus, he was MOST unyouthful. I mean, what kind of person in their Springtime of Youth wants another person's BLOOD?)! But I wouldn't say that you should lock that other side of you away forever," Gai said.

"WHAT?!" Both Lee and Tenten said, Tenten screaming it.

"Hear me out, my students!" Gai said. "While it is true that the other side of you may be...less than youthful to be around, there is no denying his strength. After all, it was because of him that you were able to defeat Gaara-san. What I suggest is that you head over to Naruto's place, and have him TEACH you how to control this new you to some extent."

"Hai, Gai-sensei!" Lee said, giving Gai a salute, and writing everything that Gai said in a little notebook that he pulled out of nowhere. Then he got a confused look on his face. "But how would Naruto-kun be able to help me with my little...problem?"

"Well, I noticed that you didn't begin acting the way you did until Naruto-kun gave you that drink, which I'm STILL trying to find out what type it was. So he might have an idea as to what it was. Plus, your other side pretty much DEMANDED that you recieve training from Naruto-kun," Gai explained.

Lee nodded his head. "Than I shall do it! I shall train under Naruto-kun, and regain my lost flames of youth!" Lee said, fire in his eyes.

But Tenten was growling inside her mind. 'So, it was NARUTO who created that bastard side of Lee! Well then, I'm gonna follow Lee to Naruto's place, and give him a piece of my mind! Not to mention my FOOT, and several kunai, up his ASS!'

COMEDY COMBAT!

'Well...this must be the place...' Ino thought to herself, grimacing.

Needless to say, she didn't think much of Naruto's apartment. At ALL.

'This place makes Asuma-sensei's place look like paradise...' Ino thought in her head, dreading the fact that she had to go anywhere NEAR such a VILE place, let alone go INSIDE it.

"Maybe I should just yell for that baka to come out here, so I won't have to go near that FILTHY place," Ino said to herself. But then she shook her head. "I don't want Naruto, of all people, to think that I can't get down and dirty if I wanted and/or needed to. ...Boy, that sounded wrong..."

So with her resolve fully in check, the blond female went up the dusty stairs that led to Naruto's apartment. And after several seconds of making sure that she didn't step in anything, was about to knock (bang) on Naruto's door and ask (demand) that she be let in.

But she stopped as soon as she heard voices.

"Huh...that sounds like...Hinata..." Ino whispered to herself.

'Naruto-kun, are you sure we should do this? The others could show up any minute...'

'I'm sure, Hinata-chan. After all, you gave me pleasure the last time. Now it's your turn...'

Ino's eyes widened. Hinata had given Naruto pleasure?! As in...sexually?! She knew that the Hyuuga had had the BIGGEST crush on Naruto for a while now...but she didn't think that Hinata would ACT on it so quickly. And so STRONGLY!

'Okay, Naruto-kun. If you insist...'

Ino, curious girl that she is, couldn't help but to open the door. Only a tiny bit, though, since she didn't want them to see her. And what she saw made her gasp.

Hinata and the blond baka were KISSING. They had their arms wrapped around each other, and they were KISSING! Ino was shocked. She didn't think that the Hyuuga had it in her. Her only thought was...how far would they go?

She got her answer as, while they were kissing, Naruto slowly slid his hand up Hinata's shirt, caressing and tickling the smooth skin underneath it, causing Hinata to giggle a bit in their kiss. But soon, he reached her bra-less right breast, and began to fondle it a bit, causing Hinata to break the kiss, and let out a low moan. "N-Naruto-kun..." She whimpered.

Ino couldn't believe it. She had no idea the two (especially Hinata) were so...DARING! They both knew that Lee and herself could come in at anytime, and yet they were still going through with it! When had they become so daring...and kami, why was this little display turning her on?!

As Hinata let out small whimpers and moans at Naruto's administrations, the blond let out a smirk, and softly kissed the side of Hinata's neck, bitting it gently, and sliding his tongue over it. Unknown to Hinata, he had read much more than just the man seducing part. And now, he was putting that knowledge to good use.

Soon enough he pulled away, much to Hinata's dissapointment, and instead hooked his hands on the bottem of the Hyuuga's shirt. Hinata got what he was doing, and lifted her arms so that Naruto could pull the shirt over her head. He did so, and tossed it away to a part of the room. He then brought both his hands up this time, and began to fondle the Hyuuga's heaving melons.

"Man, Hinata-chan. These are pretty big for your age...are all Hyuuga women like this...?" Naruto said, taking in the look of pleasure in Hinata's half-lidded eyes.

"Mmmm...I'm...ahhhh...I'm not sure...ohhhh..." Hinata moaned. "It's not as if...that feels good...not as if I just check out women's breasts all...Mmmmm...day."

"I guess you're just gifted then," Naruto chuckled, before he wrapped his mouth around Hinata's left nipple.

Hinata quickly put her hands on top of his head as he began lapping at the nipple for a bit, before sucking it into his mouth, and bitting the tip. "Naruto-kun...that...that feels so good..." Hinata panted.

Ino felt that she was getting a little wet down in her special area. This is what she always dreamed of Sasuke-kun doing to her! But to dream it, and actually SEE it before her eyes was incredible! She loved the sounds of Hinata's moans, and the sound of the wet pop that went out whenever Naruto released his hold on Hinata's breast, and swiched to the other one. She saw that the other blond was getting ready to relieve the Hyuuga of her pants...and she began to lower her hand towards her pussy to get ready for the show that she would witness...

"HELLO, MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND, INO-SAN!" Lee shouted from out of nowhere, making Ino jump forward into the door, slamming it shut.

Naruto and Hinata heard the slam (not to mention Lee's loud voice, and quickly pulled apart, Hinata reaching to grab her shirt.

Ino had a bump on her head, and angry tears at the corners of her eyes. She turned angrily towards Lee, who gulped nervously when he saw how MURDEROUS she looked.

"Lee...prepare to DIE," Ino growled, cracking her knuckles.

5 minutes later, Naruto and Hinata came out of the door, both looking decent.

"Hello, Lee. Are...you...ready..." Naruto began, but stopped as he took in the sight before him.

Lee was nothing more than a heap in the corner, twitching slightly, while a pissed off Ino was glaring at nothing in particular, a bump on her forehead.

"...What did we miss?" Naruto asked.

COMEDY COMBAT!

"Ah, so this is where that Naruto lives, eh?" Tenten whispered to herself, her head poking out of some bushes. Some of the people were staring at her with their eyebrows raised, but she ignored them.

"Heh Heh Heh...that BASTARD shall pay for turning Lee into the inconsiderate Redneck that his other side was...and he shall pay DEARLY...Heh Heh Heh..." Tenten chuckled, rubbing her hands together with an evil smirk on her face.

"Mommy, what is the scary lady doing over there?" A random kid said.

"Oh, she's just plotting the massive destruction of the man who pissed her off," the kid's mother said.

"Oh, like what you do when you think of daddy?"

"Yes, son. JUST like that."

COMEDY COMBAT!

And that's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, and catch you next continue! The training will FINALLY come in the final part.