Forever

Late again, but hopefully it was worth the wait. Enjoy;)


Chapter 8

Training for the village was going very well, and though a very small number of shinobi hadn’t been able to use their element, the majority of them were advancing at a healthy pace. There was a general buzz about the town as the days grew longer. Summer had arrived and with it came small festivals and parties that spilled into the streets almost every night. The village had slowly become accustomed to him so he didn’t need an escort anymore and the looks of distrust had nearly disappeared from all the villagers faces. Most of them welcomed him and were grateful for what he was able to do for them, but a small few had reacted badly when they found out exactly who and what he was so he tried to keep that information from getting around to quickly. He hated seeing fear on people’s faces again.

Three months of training Sasuke nearly nonstop had exhausted him and he was so grateful to have a couple weeks off when the boy was sent away on a mission. It gave him more time to go over his notes and spend time in the village. The only part he didn’t like about that was the realization that he wasn’t seeing a certain face around when he was in town. He never saw Shino, even when he stopped trying to avoid him all together. The only conclusion he could draw from it was that Shino was avoiding him. It was the only reasonable explanation he could think of and he wasn’t going to ask anyone because the people he might ask were all still angry at him for what he’d done, so he was left to wonder. It had only taken two days of Sasuke being away, giving him so much free time, that he realized he missed the young man that had captured his attention when he’d first arrived, and the more the thought about it the more he was convinced that the way he looked had little to do with it.

Of course it was nice to look at the same face and body that had captivated him so much as a young man, but that seemed to be where the similarities ended, and Naruto still found himself missing him. His Shino had been quiet and if he spoke it was with purpose. This young Shino was loud and vibrant and expressive. It was so completely different from his memories that he had stopped thinking of him as a replacement almost immediately. His Shino had been a deep thinker; able to plan missions in great detail, and new Shino was impulsive much like he himself was. The best part was how demonstrative he was. It had taken Naruto years to get his Shino to admit that he loved him, but this young man wasn’t afraid to say it as often as necessary and even more. He didn’t hide behind his glasses he only wore them for the protection they provided from the sun. The differences were endless and Naruto found himself more than once questioning why he was staying away when the possibility for renewed happiness was living just across the village.

Mostly, his avoidance was from guilt. He’d been to Shino’s grave many times trying to talk it out with his memories, and in some ways it had made things better in his mind, but in some ways it was worse. The largest part of his guilt was the fact that he’d so easily made the transition in his mind when his rational side told him it should have been harder. It should have been a more difficult choice, but those few days when he’d first come back had felt so good after so much grief that he couldn’t help but want more.

No matter how much he wanted it though, it was impossible to have it if he never saw Shino long enough to tell him. His body seemed to have a mind of its own lately and he kept finding himself hiding in the shadows across from Shino’s apartment. Sometimes the lights were on and sometimes they weren’t, but either way he’d yet to find the courage to go up to the door and speak to the man about how he felt. He’d said things he couldn’t take back and that was hanging between them, and though he’d been in situation like this before, he still hadn’t figured out how to deal with them. He just couldn’t seem to come up with the right words in his mind. When he was young he’d just say what ever came into his head and he’d gotten away with it for the most part, but he wasn’t a kid anymore and he knew that just wouldn’t work this time.

Into the second week of his break from Sasuke’s training Naruto found himself sitting high in a tree on the edge of the training ground that had been chosen by the earth element users for training. Shino was there, without his mask, laughing and joking with the others as they waited for the rest of the group to arrive. It hurt to think that Shino wasn’t as hurt as he’d let on at first, but it didn’t keep Naruto from wanting to see him so he sat, and watched. The day was warm and sunny like most summer days in Konoha, and the training in this group was progressing very well. There was a healthy amount of competition, but mostly they were very supportive of each other.

Hours passed and the group started to thin out. Shino was one of the last few shinobi left on the field and he was practicing sand infusion with one of the older shinobi in the village. They were taking turns raising sand barriers while the other threw rocks and things at them and at first they’d been successful nearly every time, but as they tired, they began to show signs of chakra depletion. Not enough to be dangerous, but just enough to mean a heavy nights sleep and sore muscles in the morning. Naruto was about to leave for the day when he saw one last rock fly toward Shino. It passed straight through the sand barrier he’d sent up and hit him square in his solar plexus knocking him back and making Naruto nearly loose his balance on the limb he was sitting. The tree around him shook as he regained his balance, and he knew immediately that he’d been noticed. Shino’s head snapped toward him even as he grunted in pain, and Naruto sat motionless hoping that he’d assume it was nothing more than the wind.

He dismissed his partners concern with a wave of his hand and stood up to dust himself off, but Naruto knew that he was still watching his tree out of the corner of his eye. Naruto watched as Shino made his goodbyes to the others and started heading across the field. Naruto let himself sigh in relief as he watched him fade into the trees to his left. He flipped down from the branch and landed in a crouch allowing his body to stretch slowly as he stood up. He was a little cramped from being in such an uncomfortable position for so long, and he was hungry so he shook out some of the stiffness in his legs and back before turning to head to town and ran straight into a warm firm body. The smell hit him at once, strong and earthy just like Shino after a long day of training. He’d been intoxicated by that smell when he was younger, and found that not much had changed in that respect when his eyes rose to look into the angry face of the man he’d been spying on all day.

“What are you doing here?”

Naruto felt suddenly like he was fifteen again. The blush that rose on his face so fast he thought he might have broken blood vessels in the process. He had enough control over himself not to babble or fumble with excuses, instead he just stayed quiet and crossed his arms over his chest defensively, not quiet ready to face Shino’s anger just yet.

“I asked you what you’re doing here.” This time it was less angry and more of an animalistic growl. This just wasn’t going right at all, and Naruto had no idea how to diffuse it. He’d never imagined Shino being angry. Hurt and frustrated yes, but never angry.

He decided he’d better say something before things got worse. “I wanted to see you.” It came out quiet and sincere. Naruto had hoped for a bit more confidence in his voice, but at least he’d kept the whine out of it.

“What? Sasuke not meeting your needs is he… Oh right he’s on a mission right now, away for a few weeks I heard. Well, you can find someone else to fuck while he’s away, I’m sure there are plenty of teenage boys around the village that will oblige.”

Naruto felt like he’d been knocked flat on his ass… hard. Shino thought… well he just wasn’t going to think too much on what Shino was implying right then. He felt a little nauseous at the idea that anyone might think that was actually what he’d been doing with Sasuke, but he was pretty sure that no one was thinking anything like that. He was positive that if they had been Nodoka would have spoken to him about it. At the very least Sasuke’s mother would have tried to poison him or something. No, this was the irrational fumbling of a jealous mind.

“I have never touched Sasuke in anything other than a friendly or helpful manner. I am his teacher and it would be unethical as well as quite unappealing to touch him any other way. I don’t know why you’d think something like that, but it’s not true. I came to see you because I missed you. If you tell me now that you don’t want me around I won’t bother you again.”

Shino looked weary of being lied too. His body remained stiff and guarded as he looked for any deception in Naruto, and though his face gave nothing away Naruto could tell that he was starting to doubt his earlier assumptions.

This time when he spoke it was with less accusation and more than a little hope though he tried to cover it with the anger that was gradually bleeding out of him. “I know you loved him before. I read all about the problems he caused. I know that he looks identical to his name sake too. You spend all your time with him. What am I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to think that he’s the only wind element in the village, and he’s a bit of a handful to train so I’ve taken him as my student. He’s not the Sasuke I knew just like you aren’t the Shino I knew. With you it was a shock and I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t see what I was doing, but with him… Sasuke and I were never lovers. I loved him, and things might have been different had Shino not existed, but he did and that was just how it went. I went mad when Shino died. I said horrible things and made Sasuke do something unspeakable. I know he forgave me, but I’ve had a bit of trouble forgiving myself. A lot of what I’m doing with him is to help the village, and a little of it is to atone for my sins, but mostly I’m training him so I can get to know him. He’s so much the same and yet so very different. A lot like you are. When I’m with him I imagine that he’s how Sasuke would be if someone had loved him as a child. I don’t think you realize how alone I am here. How alone I’ve been for most of my life. I’m only hoping that he can be the friend that I lost so many years ago.”

Shino seemed to wilt right there in front of him. Naruto wanted to go to him and hold him so much right then, but he couldn’t. They needed to talk first, and he knew any physical contact would not lead to any kind of verbal discussion.

“So you want what you can have with him, but not what you had with me.” Naruto closed his eyes against the onslaught of self deprecation and loathing. He’d hurt this man so badly out of selfishness and still he couldn’t see what the right decision was. He didn’t know if staying with Shino, giving him what he wanted, was the right thing to do. All he knew what that he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to hold this man in his arms forever… forever.

“I want what we had. I was scared of loosing you after only just finding you. I was scared of feeling all that pain again. Watching you die so soon after finding you would have left me completely mad. I think I would have torn the world apart if you’d died that day.”

Tears slipped down Shino’s face from behind those dark lenses. His face was stone, but his pain was so vivid at the same time that Naruto couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He told himself it was ok to be selfish every once in a while. He pulled an unresisting Shino into his arms and held him close. They’d talk later. Naruto didn’t think Shino was up to anything more than being held.

He walked Shino back to his apartment and led him inside. Shino went straight to the bed and sat down heavily, and stared down at his feet. He didn’t seem to know what to do or say, and neither did Naruto. The kitchen was a mess, just like the rest of the apartment as if Shino had been ignoring it in favor of other things, but Naruto thought it had more to do with avoidance. He’d avoided being home for anything other than the necessities so the mess had just built up. He started to clean in the kitchen while Shino sat staring off into space.

It took him over an hour to clean the dishes, wipe the counters down, mop the floor and put everything away. Shino had moved to the door, and started watching only moments before he spoke. “What are you doing?”

Naruto just put the mop away and moved to the living area and started cleaning up in there. He gathered laundry and picked up empty take out containers. It looked like his apartment had looked when he was a kid trying to take care of himself, and he wondered if Shino had any spoiled milk to drink. He figured Shino would at least be smart enough to read the label first. Shino started picking up a few things here and there and the rest of the apartment was done quickly. The sheets were changed and the bed was made up clean and straight. There wasn’t much mess in the bathroom, but Naruto was feeling like more of a coward than ever so he set to it mechanically cleaning and ignoring the hanging question in the air.

It was all done. There was nothing else to do. Shino milled around a bit before finally ended up in the shower with the door closed and locked. The awkwardness wasn’t going to end until he said something, and it was obvious that Shino wasn’t willing to start the conversation so it was up to him. He waited on the bed and listened to the water shut off and the shuffling behind the locked door. There was a moment of silent eternity when Naruto thought maybe Shino had slipped right through the wall to the outside and run away before the lock clicked and the door opened. Shino was in nothing but a towel, his skin was flushed and clean from the shower, and Naruto forgot everything he’d been thinking of saying the moment before.

Shino looked at him, eyes open and clear, and Naruto went to him, pulling him into his arms, and held him close. Shino’s arms came around him, and Naruto let himself relax. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Shino hid his face in Naruto’s neck, and his arms tightened. “I thought I’d never hold you like this again. I tried to be with someone else, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. When he touched me…”

Naruto’s arms tightened painfully as jealousy and rage coursed through his veins. No one would touch Shino again but him. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been to let this go. His second chance at happiness. He was through making mistakes, he’d stay this time, and maybe he’d find a way to live life again instead of hiding from it.

They held each other for a long time. So long that Shino started to shiver. Naruto let him go slowly and watched with sharp attention as the towel around his waist slipped away. Barely restrained lust coursed through him, and the heat that he’d lost when Shino stepped away returned like fire on his skin. His mind was sharp and clear though, and he knew that things would need to be different than before. Sex had been the catalyst between them that had caused so much confusion and angst. He wouldn’t let his hormones control him this time. He needed a shower, a very cold shower so that he could be with Shino without needing something they just weren’t ready for. He turned and headed for the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head as he went, but was caught half way there and wrapped in a strong familiar embrace.

“I need a shower Shino. Call out for delivery. I’ll be done by the time it gets here.” Naruto reached in his pocket and pulled out his new frog wallet. The stupid thing still made him laugh. He pushed it into Shino’s hand and gently pulled away without looking at him. When the door closed behind him he listened to hear any kind of movement. It was so silent all he could hear was the sound of his own breath, but then he heard something, movement so he let himself relax and fall into his normal routine. He stripped off his cloths and turned the water on and let it heat up. He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment tried to think of a reason, any reason anyone would want to be with him. He’d never understood it with Shino and even now he couldn’t understand. He didn’t think he had much to offer, but whatever his Shino wrote in his journal was enough to convince his doppelganger that he was worth the heartache, and Naruto found he couldn’t be selfless enough to let go.

Steam was starting to fog the mirror so he stepped into the shower and let the water warm him. He’d thought about a cold shower, but it occurred to him how futile that would be with the reason for the cold shower waiting for him in the next room. No, he knew it would be better to just take care of the problem instead of ignoring it. He wasted no time on enjoying himself. Straight to the point, his hand took a firm hold of his erection while the other held him steady against the shower wall. He closed his eyes and tried to think of the fastest way to get relief. Quick and efficient, his hand flew over his cock trying to avoid the thoughts of how much better this would feel if Shino were doing it. He was almost there, his legs were shaking and he lost a bit of rhythm with his hand when he felt movement behind him. A strong hand curled around his and held him still, and he couldn’t control the sob that escaped him as his orgasm was halted.

Shino’s body slid against him and his other hand moved around his hip and traced a line of fire up to his chest, pulling them together. “I’m not ready…” Naruto whispered, but he couldn’t’ finish. He didn’t know what he wasn’t ready for, all he knew was that if things stayed like this they’d fall back into what happened before, and he didn’t want that. He knew now what he wanted. He wanted to know this man. He thought he might be able to love him.

“It won’t be like before. I wanted something you couldn’t give me. I wanted a fantasy, but I know what I want this time. I don’t want what you had with him. I want this… what’s between us isn’t the same. I’m not him, and I don’t want to be. I want you to see me… be with me.”

Naruto nodded before relaxing in to the embrace. He let his head fall back to Shino’s shoulder and felt Shino pulling his hand away from his erection. He was still rock hard and throbbing, but his legs weren’t shaking anymore and his head was clear. Shino let go of his hand and let it fall before returning to wrap warm fingers gently around him and squeezed. He bucked into that grip and nearly lost his balance as Shino’s other hand left his chest. He felt muscles flex against his back and then he was being coaxed into leaning against the wall.

“I want to take you like this. Right now… please…”

Naruto knew what he wanted. He’d always loved a good slow fuck with no prep. He wanted to say yes, but all he could do was moan and push his hips back into Shino. Then he felt something slick and wide push between the cheeks of his ass. It slid into place and then Shino stopped. A tease, nothing more, and any other time Naruto would have met the challenge, but tonight he couldn’t wait. He willed himself to relax as much as he could, took a deep breath, pushed back and swallowed Shino’s cock. Shino bucked into him hard. It hurt more than he wanted to admit, but he took it as penance for all the pain he’d caused. Shino’s arms were wrapped around his chest in a crushing grip, and his chest heaved against Naruto’s back. His face was pressed tightly against Naruto’s neck, and Naruto knew he was fighting for control.

“Are you ok.” Shino panted when he regained some control. Naruto nodded and twisted until he could see Shino without breaking their connection. He leaned back as much as he could and they met half way for searing kiss. Naruto felt Shino’s cock pulse inside him, and when they broke apart they were both dazed and a little more relaxed. Naruto leaned his head against his arms on the wall of the shower and pushed back taking Shino even deeper. He felt the bite of Shino’s fingers at his hips as they pinned him. He wanted that cock to move in him but he was trapped. He squeezed just a little to get his lover’s attention, and got a hiss and a jerky thrust in return before they were locked together again.

“Fuck me.” Naruto whispered over the sound of water washing over them. He’d waited too long for this to be patient now.

Shino’s head shook against him, “I’ll come…” he moaned and Naruto noticed the fine tremor against his back.

He reached back and ran one hand along Shino’s hip. “Then come… but fuck me first.”

One shaky hand slid down his hip and wrapped around his erection as the cock inside him started to withdraw. The hand tightened and slid down hard as Shino snapped his hips forward. Naruto yelp echoed against the tiles of the shower, and Shino did it again.

It was brutally fast and over way to quickly. Shino pounded into him for no more than a minute before he was coming, slamming Naruto bodily against the tiles. Naruto covered Shino’s hand with his own and the other over his lover’s hip and continued to fuck himself on Shino’s still hard cock while he squeezed and pumped his erection with Shino’s hand. He came just as Shino whined long and low against him as he shuddered from too much contact with oversensitive flesh.

The water was loosing heat quickly, and Naruto didn’t want to actually be washing himself in cold water so he pulled away and reached for the soap. He winced slightly when Shino’s cock slipped out of him, but didn’t hesitate as he went about cleaning himself as quickly as possible. Shino laughed at his slightly frantic washing, but decided to help after Naruto shot him a glare that could melt steel. They were clean and rinsed before the water lost all its heat, and they dried off more slowly sharing slow lingering kisses between swipes of the towel. As they left the bathroom they heard an insistent knock at the front door. Shino tripped and stumbled as he ran for the door while trying to pull on a pair of pajama pants, and Naruto had to muffle his laughter behind both hands to keep from being heard.

The young woman holding their dinner looked less angry and more interested than she should have been when she noticed their state of undress. Shino paid her and took the bag quietly, but neither he nor Naruto missed the evil smirk and the light in her eyes as the door closed in her face. Naruto had a feeling that every girl in town would know what they’d been up too tonight by morning, but he was ok with that. He didn’t want any of those silly, giggling, teenage girls thinking Shino was available. Naruto felt a sudden rush of warmth in his face as he realized how possessive he was already being even if it was just in his head. He had a feeling though, that Shino wouldn’t mind, even if he shouted it from Hokage Mountain.


Please review if you liked it. I read them all and really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think.