Demons Have the Most Fun: A Cautionary Tale

 

Hello, this is Assassin’s Kiss, a.k.a. Simply Hopeless here. I noticed that my FF and AFF stories are uneven chapter-wise because I added an author’s note during my hiatus phase last year. I couldn’t take it down on FF and replace it with an actual chapter because once someone reviews a chapter they can only review it once unlike on AFF. However, that wouldn’t have been such a problem except there was suddenly a ton of reviews bemoaning my hiatus on my author’s note chapter. I was touched by some and shook my head in disbelief at others who reviewed for the first time in like forever only to declare their undying love for a story they had already had on their alert lists and/or bookmarked for months.

But whatever, I wanted to reward my dear AFF reviewers for being so loyal and giving me lots and lots of reviews by giving you this side story that is relatively important but wouldn’t have fit in the chapter I’m typing for Chapter Eight. Originally the song insert was supposed to be for Chapter Seven, especially since I had it played on repeat when thinking about the meeting with Iruka and Naruto and how Sakura is being stalked by the blonde for her punishment. But too late I thought Kelly Clarkson’s Dark Side fit the bill and Seven Devils ended up here to grudgingly become Minato’s theme song. It takes place just after Naruto’s declaration to kill Minato, but in a different place with other people. R & R please!

Demons Have the Most Fun: A Cautionary Tale

‘Holy water cannot help you now 

A thousand armies couldn't keep me out 

I don't want your money 

I don't want your crown 

See I have to burn 

Your kingdom down 



Holy water cannot help you now 

See I've had to burn your kingdom down 

And no rivers and no lakes, can put the fire out 

I'm gonna raise the stakes; I'm gonna smoke you out’

~ Seven Devils by Florence + the Machines

Never Let a Demon Have a Side Story #1

SOMEWHERE ELSE, JUST BEFORE NARUTO MADE HIS DEATH DECLARATION

It was one of those posh restaurants. The kind that felt like, as soon as you stepped inside and the maitre d’ took your coats with a polite nod and smile, that you had finally arrived. Two menus tucked under their arm, a smartly dressed waitress/waiter would appear out of nowhere to direct you to your table as soon as your reservation was confirmed in the large ledger up front. A man tickled the ivories in the corner while one or two patron couples slowly waltzed on a spacious enough dance floors. The candles at the table and the crystal chandeliers above lit their steps. All the while a soft murmuring of conversation and the musical clinking of cutlery against imported platters was heard as patrons savored five star services.

It was the type of restaurant that a country bumpkin in the food service industry, could only dream of working at. And unfortunately that same starry-eyed bumpkin, she wished it were just a dream as she tried to make as little noise as possible.

The brunette waitress had nearly wet herself when she noticed tan fingers carelessly waving her over to attend to him. She had hoped if she had remained as silent as possible and pressed herself up against the midnight blue wall, next to the tall house plant, that he would forget her. But he hadn’t and she could feel her heart oozing its way down her kneecaps and into her shoes after braining itself madly against her ribcage.

Inwardly she shook her head ‘no’ to his request but as he turned his handsome head to search for her, her traitorous feet were already on the move. His glacial blue wolf eyes were piercing and unforgiving just as much as they were hypnotically beautiful. She couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, which made it hard for her to pick her way through the dead bodies that littered the floor and permanently stained the imported floorboards with pools and splatters of cold, congealing blood.

She winced each time her high-heeled foot smacked against a torso or limb. Her trembling lips muttered a stuttering apology; her muddy brown eyes looking apologetically down into the torn carcass of one of her regular patrons before she continued to pick her way closer, eyes darting back to the handsome man who watched her movements with a predator’s ease. At some point, she didn’t know when, her bladder had released, making her nose wrinkle at the smell of fresh urine and the warm tickling feeling trickling down her stocking leg. 

The waitress almost contemplated pausing to take off her stockings and heels so as to relief the now cooling discomfort; but as she looked down into the sightless eyes of a fat man staring back at her accusingly with his jowls gapping in a silent scream, she murmured a soft ‘no’ to herself. It was better for her preservation to rethink her actions and picked up her squelching pace.

The scared waitress almost fell over another badly severed body only for the man she feared most,  to capture her up in his strong, capable arms before her face smacked against the ground. “I… I’m so sorry. P… Please don’t k… kill me,” she squeaked out, panicked. The brunette trembled so badly that her teeth chattered over her words, making her plea choppy.

 “I honestly can’t stand slow service and she didn’t even thank you for catching her. Kill her and scrounge up a new human to finish serving us,” came the bored voice of a red-haired, elitist female. She lowered her Versace sunglasses, her big moss green eyes looking unsympathetic from her sweet, heart shaped face.

The waitress openly sobbed now, remembering what happened to her coworker the last time that was said. Her crumpled face pressed itself against the handsome killer’s dress shirt in defeat as her legs felt close to buckling. She had left her dad’s ramen shop and come to the big city hoping to make a better start for herself. And if she had been happy swimming in the puddle she lived instead of trying to swim with the big fishes she might not have known the true evil that was holding her now.

“No, no, let’s give her a chance,” he cooed encouragingly. He had read her nametag before she surprisingly sagged against him. His eyes almost softened a bit in sympathy as he patted her brown hair. “She might actually survive, right, Ayame?” he requested softly.

If he hadn’t been what she painstakingly knew he was, she could have seen herself asking for his number. Her and her, now dead, coworker had been drooling over him almost two hours ago as soon as he walked confidently into the room like a walking, breathing wet dream with his red-haired dinner date on his arm. The waitress would have slyly slipped him her number when the time for giving checks came and would have stayed up late that same night talking to her best friend about him while hugging her giant teddy bear.

But he killed Nana.

 She watched him do it. They had decided to alternate serving him since they both liked him and he had sought a table in a shadowed corner. It was Nana’s turn at bat. Ayame hadn’t seen that he was already nibbling on one of the guests. But when Nana did… Kami, when Nana saw the gorgeous blonde drape the lifeless body of a woman, whose only crime was being too flirtatious, across his lap before continuing to gnaw at her fingers; she couldn’t help letting out a piercing scream that had every eye turning to face her in the bustling restaurant. Her friend couldn’t stop screaming and he had taken it upon himself to silent her permanently as he stood up to his full height, before all hell broke loose.

No amount of apologies and sympathetic looks would wipe away the sight of Nana’s severed jaw, flying into the plate of salad of an unsuspecting customer before he gorged on whatever it was that made them tick. Each time she closed her eyes she could feel the screams of the masses trying to get up before a powerful wind knocked them over like they were flimsy blades of grass. There had been so much blood and any attempts at pleading and bargaining, of trying to hide behind dead bodies, inside kitchens or under furniture was quickly severed by this gorgeous blonde man. He calmly approached them one a time, his long plaited ponytail swung like a thick corded rope, as he made his rounds like the ‘The Masque of Red Death’ in Edgar Ellen Poe’s 1842 book.

So she couldn’t take respite in his words even as her traitorous eyes burned and itched with tears of hope as she cautiously looked at what could only be a demon. She tried to look past the blood splatter that covered half of his handsome face and tried to look for the last shred of humanity in those eyes. Then before she could hold it back, she was vomiting out a plea for mercy.

 “I…I…  please… I just want to go home. I… I… I won’t tell anyone. I… I promise,” she mumbled. Then she sunk her teeth down hard into her bottom lip before she said anything else stupid. She promised herself and Kami if she made it through the service that she would return to her father and obey him by doing whatever he asked of her. She would never go chasing waterfalls if it meant she’d drown in this fear again. (A/N: TLC lyrics come to mind when I wrote this part.)

“Not before you bring the check for your stellar service, right?” the blonde said almost mockingly, his fingers fencing in her chin so she could not look to the side or down. He waited patiently for an answer and when she only whimpered he practically shook her like a rag doll “Right Ayame?!”

“Sorry, sorry. I… I’ll do it,” she gasped out. A broken, bloody crescent line marked the place where she bit down too hard on her bottom lip.

“Good girl, and after that I’ll let you go home.” The blonde male gifted her with one of his kilo-watt smiles that he hadn’t really used all that night because of the nagging need to feed had had dug deep talons into his every thought. He waited until the brunette adjusted to his blinding smile, nodded her head with an unsure smile of her own before she began her precarious trip back to the kitchen.

“She smells like piss!” The red head spat out in disgust as soon as her dinner mate reclaimed his seat. She pushed her Versace shades up to the top of her head and glared openly at the retreating meat puppet. The red haired vixen had anticipated a quiet night of wining and dining; but she couldn’t deny she loved the show of the ex-human finally letting his demon side hang loose.

AT THAT VERY MOMENT IN IRUKA’S OFFICE

"I'm remembering."

"Wh… What?"Iruka barely managed to whisper as his body was about ready to sag in defeat.

Naruto let a long suffering sigh as he combed his fingers into his already bound hair. He looked into the disbelieving eyes of the Headmaster before turning to look at his small master who had ordered him to always stay truthful to him."Poppet, ever since I saw Minato's hologram and realized what I did, I've started to remember him. It's not much. Shards really of fragmented conversations and disembodied feelings; but I think if I allow it, my memories of my past life and the love I felt for him can come back. So what do you think I should do Poppet? You wanted to be treated less like a child so now that you know, what should I do."

"A… Anything that will keep you at m… my side. I… I can't lose you to him," Sasuke began, panicked. He was already feeling his chest tightened painfully at the idea of losing his Guardian to anyone. Especially when that anyone was a ghost that he had thought was dead.

"Then it has been decided. I can only serve one master. So I will kill Minato before I remember to love him again," Naruto announced determinedly, kissing the crown of his silently crying master's head.

SECONDS LATER, BACK AT THE RESTURANT

The blonde ignored his red-haired ‘date’ to sneeze twice, one after the other before he wiped at his watering eyes.

“You sneezed twice Minato; someone’s been talking about you.” The red-haired woman announced gleefully even as she demurely handed her male companion a clothed napkin. She leaned forward across the table; her breasts practically spilled out of her tiny chic black dress like Pillsbury Dough as she offered to help clean up the mess he made. Her cloth napkin quickly dabbed into his chilled glass of water before she moved to dab at the already drying flecks of blood that still lingered on the strong line of his jaw.

“You’re really such a messy boy when you are hungry,” she lightly scolded, clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth. Although she had fairly enjoyed backing him up by disabling and killing any lurking Guardian that would disturb her protégé from feeding.

The blonde barely flinched at the feel of cool fingers, covered in black half gloves, lingered on his wrist; they stroked the thin flesh that fluttered with his pulse, before the woman let out a frustrated sigh and withdrew her fingers and her person back to her side of the table.

He hadn’t reacted one iota to her advances. She was fucking hot, if she dared say so. She had just barely managed to squeeze into her dress while still barely leaving some things to the imagination, if barely. The human males had at least found her drool-worthy as she had sauntered into the restaurant while clutching to her dinner companion’s bicep. So why was it so hard for a woman of her seductive curves to hope that by the end of the night Minato would just give in and tear her outfit off her?

The styled chignon that she had worn for this special jaunt into the restaurant had come undone so that rivulets of cherry red hair spilled over slender, milk white shoulders. Her black pillbox hat with the small veil that fell over one eye was probably ruined by the splattering of blood as she discreetly checked herself in the mirror and freshened up her makeup. This was supposed to be the anniversary of their alliance and yet the sexy oaf opposite her was probably focused on his old lover again.

“The only one I want thinking about me is Kyuubi. You know this Kushina. Do you honestly think I would follow you like an eager puppy just because you are trying to help me adapt to being a demon? I had never killed anyone before I met you and now I’m slaughtering people indiscriminately because I can’t sate the monster in me that constantly needs to feed.” He practically growled at that last part, his fangs lengthening at the thought and his hands combed bangs into his otherwise tightly bound hair.

Minato had thought after nine years of surviving, more life suffering in the human world, trying to fight his instincts to eat anything with a soul that he had finally had this thing beat. But really all he did was feed on animal souls and deny himself a succulent human’s until it was too late and he went out on a rampage like right now. It was so unhealthy and it made him sick to kill any of Kami’s creatures. But the hunger, Kami, the hunger clawed at his every waking thought until all he was, was that cloying hunger.  

‘Maybe if Kyuubi was here he’d help me to adjust,’ he thought longingly. All he needed to do was find him and remind him who he was and then they could start the healing process.

“He will find me,” he stated with finality.  He didn’t see how Kushina could take an interest in keeping him alive when she was the demon that ripped away his humanity in the first place. Only the threat of her coming back to finish off Iruka had made the dying Minato slightly alter his testimony of who killed him. 

 “Humans are meat puppets Minato. The sooner you realize it the sooner you can give up the silly emotions humans cling to like guilt or love. I met Kyuubi long before I met you and I’m telling you that nine-tailed bastard is incapable of loving anyone. It’s killed or be killed in this shithole of a world. Mark my words if blondie sees you again he’ll kill you,” she murmured sagely in a sneering tone. She didn’t know how many times and how many ways she had said this over their nine, going on ten years of knowing each other; but she’ll say it until it could pierce that thick skull of the ex-human.

“He could never kill me,” Minato said weakly. He looked so weak in that moment, so vulnerably human that Kushina let out a squeal of rage before smacking the head, of the waitress that had obediently reappeared with the check, down against the wooden table until her skull splintered the table.

Kushina let out a sick little giggle that bubbled out of her as she drew the barely conscious waitress up by her hair so that the struggling human could face Minato.

“You’re a demon now, not just some lovesick ass. You crave this. Her blood, her fear, her soul, you want it all. That was how Kyuubi felt when he was around you. He obeyed you and put up with you because in the end he knew he was going to get to that sweet center like this,” she breathed out hotly before she sank her fang teeth into Ayame’s neck like a cobra strike.

Minato forced himself to watch, clenched fist resting on the top of the table, as the already lethargic Ayame fought with heavy, clumsy limbs to fight off her attacker. Tears and the blood trickling down from her head injury, smeared her face before it finally slackened and her soulless eyes stared emptily back at Minato.

“Are you still confident that you can win against your instinct? Once Kyuubi has been named he’ll forgot all about what you two meant to each other and he’ll drain you to you’re a lifeless husk just like I did this little bitch,” she huffed, tossing the dead waitress aside and licked the last drops of blood that escaped her greedy, little tongue.

“It’s because when he made me what I am, he gave me a part of his soul. We will always be connected even if he forgets. Besides…” Minato trailed off to unbutton a few buttons on his shirt to reveal something to the eager redhead to look at. His trembling fingers pressed down against the mark that Kyuubi left him when he took a vicious bite of his neck during the soul unification ceremony.

“It can’t be,” she growled out in frustration. Her curvy frame already leaning forward to peer down at the evidence that was scrawled out like a tribal leaf (think Konoha leaf symbol) on the side of his neck. She glared scathingly at the ex-human that was already fading back into his human form to preserve his reservoir of ill-begotten energy.

Tropical eyes, as big and innocent as they had been when he was fully human, were now tinged with sadness; but still those orbs managed to shine with pride as he gave an affirmative nod and a kilo-watt smile to her disgust.

“He marked me. And when I get a hold of him I’m going to mark him right back.”

A/N: I’m done for the night. It’s already past midnight, at least five pages long without A/N’s and  I gave you guys the murderer and showed you Minato so…. So…. (does Kermit the frog wild arm wavy thing when he’s excited) YYYYYYYEEAAAHHHH!!! There will be more NaruSasu moments and Naruto and Itachi confrontation in the next chapter so don’t get made that I focused on Minat’s story since ya’ll have been wanting to know what happened to him. But I honestly do hope you enjoy this treat and review damn it. This is an AFF exclusive side story. FF is not getting this so if you want more juicy side story moments like this then review like a crack whore trying to do something strange for a little change. Weird yes, will I love you if you review, HELL YES!

 I’m so bad at keeping secrets. But I’ll keep my conspiracy wheel churning for you guys because we still don’t know Kushina’s motives and how Naruto will react to this brand-new Minato. XP